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"Me frinds, if yell cum in single file, one
to a time, a passing in this door and out
to the back, ye'il do the tiling proper—
like as if ye war viewin' a corpse ye
"Ye kin shake and spake wid Mrs.
O'Rouke and we'll give ye the tay just aa
ye pass out.
"No one is to puss in but one<:t."
This changed the whole aspect of
affairs. They saw at once that this was
to be no jolly uathpring, but a fashionable
affair. Something not (o be enjoyed at
the time, perhaps, but to be gloried in and
talked over Ion.; afterwards. Fr >m a
lively social company, they became a
number of stiff individuals, not at all
eager to make the first advances, least
they should commit some blunder.
"Come on, me frinds, come on!" said
Dennis encouragingly, and tin illy one by
one they disappeared through the door
There, in the middle of the room, stood
Mrs. O'Roukp, arrayed in a gown the di
mensions of which left only a narrow
passage for the guests to pass in;o the
next room. If the mistress of the great
house appeared in full dress, Mrs.
O'liouke's was fuller. With bare arms
and nerk, flying yellow ribbons and bows
in every concievable place, she succeeded
in dazzling all beholders.
Remembering her instructions as re
gards conversation, she would wring the
hand of each one that approached her,
and irrespective of the remarks addressed
to her, would tay:
4iSo—glad—yez—could—come; a foine
Then Dennis would take possession of
the guest, march him, or her, into the
kitchen, where there was a wash-boiler
full of tea, which little Nora ladled out.
There were also plates of sandwiches, po
tatoes and pickled onions.
Dennis brought the "tea" for his own
particular cronies from a little corner
cupboard of which he kept the key.
At six o'clock the house was cleared,
and Mrs. O'Rourke, perspiring from every
pore, but radiant with success, finished
the tea and sandwiches.
Thus for the next few months was the
reputation of the O'Rourkes upheld, and
at the end of that time it was forever
established when Mrs. O'Rourke, much
to her own astonishment as well as that
of the whole neighborhood, presented her
husband with fine healthy boy triplets!
"Have you anything to say before we eat
you?" said the king of the Cannibal isles
to a Boston missionary.
"I have," was the reply. ''I want to talk
to you awhile on the advantages of a veg
She: My father is a lumberman in the
northern part of the state. Young lawyer:
And I'm one down here; my shingle hua
been hanging out for a year.—Detroit Free
OLD POLKS' FUN.
Borrowed for the Occasion.
When a real-estate mau begins to go
down hill he loses ground very fast.—Texas
Mrs. Doogood—"Do you really feel the
hard times, my good man?" Tramp— "No,
ma'am; everywhere I a,o they tell me there's
In a small village situated in the south
of England it was the custom of the rector
to gather round him on Sunday afternoon
the lads of the community for Bible in
On one particular Sabbath afternoon some
of the boys, imbued with a spirit of mis
chief, got the parson's bible aud stuck two
of the leaves together just at the place
from which the lessen was to be taken.
Little EfHe (who has stroked the kitten
until she began to purr)—Maudie. do you
hear that? Sister Muud—Hear what Effie?
Effla—Why, I do believe kitty's boiling!—
Harper's B izir.
Sunday school having commenced, the
venerable pastor suirt: "Now, boys our lea
sou today is upon Noah. We will just read
the few verses selected for the day's lesson,
and then I will proceed to explain their
meaning to you."
Having adjusted his spectacles he took
up the book, reading as follows: ''And
Noah, when he was one hundred years old,
took unto himself a wife" (here he went
over the leaf) "140 cubits long, 40 cubits
wide, made of shittitn wood and lined in
side and out with pitch."
Then laying down his book he said most
solemnly to the now giggling boys: "I sco
nothing to laugh at whatever. During the
whole course of my ministry I never rem
ember seeing this passage befrre, but does
it not bring to our minds most forcibly the
fact that we are most fearfully and wonder
fully made?"— The Outlook.
A young lady organist in a church in Col
orado was somewhat captivated with the
j oung pastor of a church in the next street
and was delighted to hear one week that
by an exchange he was to preach the next
Sunday in her own church. The organ was
pumped by an obstreperous old sexton,
who would often atop when he thought the
voluntary had lasted long enough. This
day the organist was anxious that all should
go well; and as the service was about to
begin, she wrote a note intended solely for
the sexton's eye. He took it, and in spite
of her agonized beckoning)), carried it
straight to the preacher. What was that
gentleman's astouiehment when he read,
"Oblige me this morning by blowing away
till I give you a signal to stop. Miss
The low prioo of wheat has taught some
faniicis a good lesson in the disposal of
their surplus. Many fanners have realized
fully $1 per bushel for wheat by turning it
into first el is-, pork. This kind of business
shrewduesd may apply to many products
that now go to waste.
Best Farm Lands for Sale.
Safest Loans Negotiated, on 7 and 8 per
cent first mortgages.
Reference—First National Bank of
G. M. McKINNEY,
North Yakima, Wash.
G. M. McKINNEY, ESQ..
Dear sir:—l take pleasure in stating that as
partner in the firm I made a personal examina
tion of all the loans negotiated by yon as our
manager at North Yakima during the years
1890.1891 and 1892. or during the time you had
charge of our office and in every instance I con
sidered the security ample for the loan. If at
any time in the future I can be of any assist
auce to you by informing interested parties of
the good quality of our loans negotiated by you
in North Yakima advise me and I will promptly
and cheerfully do so.
CRIPFEN, LAWRENCE <fc CO.,
Denver, Colo. Per H. J. Putnam. Partner.
DRY FIRE WOOD,
PRIME FENCE POSTS.
AGENT for ROSLYN COAL.
Yakima Avenue, North Yak!ma
FIRST STREET, NORTH YAKIMA.
W. H. KERSHAW, Proprietor.
Beef, PorK, Mutton
SAUSAGE, CORNED BEEF.
Highest market price paid fur cnttle, hogs and
sheep. Our own make of Smoked Hams and
Bacon and Dried Meats and Lard.
FRESH BUTTER AND EGGS
Is the Place to Sell or Buy
Second Hand Goods.
Come and See for Yourself.
Have Your Old Furniture Made New
Upholstering and Repairing neatly done.
Lounges and Mattresses made to order.
Old Lounges and Mattresses made over.
£)^"('arpet I Hying a Specialty.
F. R DAUU, Upholsterer.
At 909 Second Hiud Stora, lit St., N. YiUua