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1 GOODWIN'S WEEKLY. 7 I i
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1 Promoters.
B promoters are people afflicted with chronic op-
I ti'mHrn.
m The disease looks at first sight like confirmed
I altruism, and it is so generally diagnosed by the
public, hut a long and careful study of it in all its
phages is certain to disclose the fact that it is
quite different, says the New York Times.
The man who has altruism badly has sev
eral symptoms that are quite different from
those of the promoter. For instance, he
wants to give things away for nothing, and the
promoter never really does that, though he tries
hard to make everybody think he does. The most
remarkable case of altruism that has ever been
brought to the attention of the public is that of
Andrew Carnegie, who has it so bad that there
seems no hope of curing him. There is, however,
some relation between the two diseases. It is be
llecd that Andrew Carnegie had optimism once
I and was a promoter before he ever developed the
other disease, and it is stated on good authority
that he never would have gotten altruism if he '
had not first had the other.
Having diagnosed the disease, it is well to note
some of the phases of it, so that one may know it
when he sees it. In the first place, the man afflicted
with this disease must have every one he meets
for a friend, particularly if the men he meets hap
pen to have money of their own. He has a ma
nia for friends, and there is no Hmit to the bank
account that these friends may have.
Then, he is absolutely unable to see anything
in the way of failure or disaster. Suppose that he
is trying to promote a land company in Texas, he
will absolutely fail to be able to grasp the difficul
ties that lie in the way of farming in Texas. He
does not believe in the green and red and black
bugs that are such a terror to all the people who
own farms in Texas. He laughs at all bugs. He
can't see what rain has to do with farming, any
wav, and says flatly that the stories of drought
and arid fields are all dreams. To him there is
no land like Texas land. He regards Texas as a
veritable paradise.
The third characteristic symptom of his dis
ease is prophecy. The future of Texas is an open
book to him. In the dim valleys he sees with
prophetic eye great herds of cattle grazing, lordly
I mansions arising, loaded vans and trains hurry
ing When one meets a man possessing these symp
toms it is as well to conclude that one has found
a real chronic optimist; in other words, a pro
moter. If one stay with him long enough it is a
sure thing that one will be asked to buy lands in
Texas or to go into a company to sell lands in
Texas. Of course, there are many other things
that a promoter talks about. All promoters don't
talk lands in Texas. That is merely an example.
One promoter is trying to form an ice company
to sell ice to the enlightened Indians of Indian
Territory. To his mind Indian Territory is the
hottest place that ever happened. If there is one
Place in the world where ice will sell it is cer
tainlv Indian Territory. In the summer there is
n Possibility of living at all without ice, and
there is no one down there now selling ice. Any
Km one oan see what a chinch the new company is
H gtoF to have. It will be nearly as easy as being
Major of New York. Ice will melt so fast that the
Indians will need three calls a day on the part of
the i-eman. That's a cinch for the iceman, and,
H of 01,rse, the promoter wants you to be one of the
fcemm. That's where the promoter looks like the
If altruist.
H Another promoter is forming a company to
build farmhouses in Indian Territory. To him
Indian Territory is the fairest land that ever was.
B Hu eather is delightful. In summer there are
j no discomforts at all. The temperature is just
rigat neither too hot nor too cold. He has affida
I vita ty the ream that this is so. The testimony is
honest and disinterested. Without a single shad
ow of a doubt there is no land like Indian Terri
tory. In winter it is just as good, and the crops
well, language would fail him to describe the
crops of Indian Territory. There you have the
views of two optimistic promoters. You pay your
money and you take your choice. It is a privilege
the promoter gives you.
There is a variation of the disease that is
known in the financial world as underwriting.
This disease is considered by many people to be
an entirely different affliction, the people who hold
this idea most strongly being the people who have
the disease themselves. In fact, they grow quite
angry when one calls them promoters, and are
quick to point out that they are different. The
difference between underwriting and promoting is
the same as the difference between appendicitis
and inflammation: that is, that the first is an ar
istocratic and fashionable affliction, while the sec
ond is plebian and out of date.
A young, newly-married couple from Laramie
arrived in Evanston on a regular wedding "tower"
Monday and took in the Otto Floto show. The
couple had supper at the Rocky Mountain hotel.
The husband was lean, lantern-jawed and o
tionate. The bride was loving, volupf nd
freckled. As it happened, there were potatoes for
supper which were done with their jackets on,
and the young man, being over-attentive to his
wife, spoke out in tones to be heard all over the
dining-room and addressing his fair bride, said:
"Honey, kin I skin a tater for you?" "No, thank
you," she replied, "I have one already skun." One
of the pretty waiter girls dropped a tray of dishes
just then, but the young manied man from Lara
mie supposed it was occasioned by her awkward
ness and not through his honeymoon Innocence.
News-Register.
The Root-Gardner Battle.
Next Monday evening at the Salt Palace there
will be one of the best exhibitions of pugilistic
generalship ever handed to the Salt Lake sport
ing fraternity. Jack Root, who hails from the
Windy City, but will bring none of the wind, but all
of the nerve of the big town with him, and George
Gardner of San Francisco, where he has gathered
a host of friends by his clever work and square
fighting qualities, will measure fistic abilities in
the ring.
Both men are on the board to battle for the
middle and lightweight championship of the world
and are equally confident of being sure winners
in 'the great event. There is but little to choose
between the two men, but if past events in their
career cast their shadows before, the match will
be one of the fastest, gamest and squarest bouts
ever witnessed in Zion. The shifty pair are train
ing down fine and expect to come close to reach
ing the middle-weight limit by the time they are
called upon to step into the arena. Gardner is
setting a swift pace for both Alex Greggains and
Dave Barry, and Greggains says his man is much
faster than he was when he lost to Root on a foul
last January in San Francisco. Harry Hynds and
Martin Mulvey, who are the head push in the big
event, are satisfied that the big arena will bo
filled to its utmost capacity August 18th. Orders
for tickets are coming in every day and the big
saucer track is rapidly being put in the best con
dition and will seat 14,000 people with standing
room for 6000 more when the big event is pulled
off.
There is one satisfactory assurance given to
sports on this event, and that is there will be no
sparring for time, but both men are anxious and
able to put up one of the gamest, swiftest fights
ever witnessed in the intermountain country, and
all kinds of money is ready on both contestants
without fear that there will be any unfair fluke
to mar the success of the great event,
new HI
$birt$ . 1
KEEP v COMING lifl
Two big lots the past week. , nm
1
One lot of Wilson Bros. Town . '
made shirts, the regular $1.50 Mlm
grade two pairs of cuffs. 'Bm
These we're selling at a dollar S
each. i'l
The other lot is the Monarch $!pV
Brand. f I
New shades of tan with small, it ' m
fancy figures very swell. u 19
Cuffs on or off. . k)M
$1.25, $1.50, $1.75. fPffl
Other shirts, of course; 50c, 75c, HI ill
up to $3.50. in
ONE PRICE. IjU
J. P. GARDNER 1
136-138 riain Street if IH
IT'O J C APT that a Manitou Lemonade is L'ifM
1 1 U n rnUI the most refreshing one SH
that can be made. For a hot, sultry day it H;iH
is just what you want to relieve that great ff'&W
desire to be drinking cold water all day. I'tilH
Made only at the famous fountain of the ill
F. J. HILL DRUG CO., 1
Corner Opposite Post Office. 'Phone 541. iB
Agents for the celebrated Manitou Mineral JJH
Water. Ask the man for prices. HiillH
LTON & CO. HI
1 I'lH
"fia Da, fia Da " :;i
Said Johnson. , nBB
"I've found IT! MM
Bess my soul; Bamberger, 119
Meighn Street, soils IT and 19
H Is THA T GOOD CO. ' 19
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