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II; 4 GOODWIN'S WEEKLY.
Wm I ' HE LECTURETH THE CUBS AND YOUNG-
H r ! LINGS ON TRUE KNOWLEDGE.
H;j 1 By Arthur Copp.
JB!j I I Cometh now the time when those of now
H j J ! learning and untried ways troop forth to shew
fm I unto their elders wherein they were wrong.
MB . I And shrill unto thorn of Evolution and Blec-
Wm ' l ' trie Incubators, and similar hot stuff, which they
mm'' ' ' cuddeld whilst papa sweated and soaked the cus-
H ' tomers.
fB Now, it came that a group of these foregath-
fH ' erod in the temple to shew their learning, which
lB they did with loud acclaim among themselves.
IH ' And the wise man sat among them and list-
jjH' f enod. And when they had ilnished their gab-
B j ' v fest, ho spake unto them with earnestness, isay-
B I "Behold the maiden who discourseth esoteri-
B 1 cally unto her elders concerning the Higher Crit-
jB , icism ; who enlargeth on the Pre-eminent Power
H i i of Pulchritude in womankind, but forgetteth the
H brunette wart on her own cheek;
!" 'Who sigheth sadly when mamma hints
that she is "shy of bluing, and besoochoth her to
forget this touch of local color.
iSH i "Thinkost thou such an one hath acquired
B j' ' true knowledge?
H i;; ' "Thou sayest she thinketh deeply of
jHBI I Nletschke; but knoweth she how to juggle the
jH I pancake when it browneth?
B I: "Thou sayest also this maiden writoth learn-
H i edly concerning Bacon, but hath she understand-
jHB 1 '" ing of its virtuos as a breakfast food?
B i "She talketh, and the thread of her discourse
Q I j runneth smoothly, but toll unto me quickly, shew-
Hfl I oth this maiden dexterity with. number 2 linen,
jB 1$ and with this, knoweth sh-e the secret of .an at-
H J tachment between the suspender button and
H 'J brother's extra ones?
BB ' "For things have been said of the camel and
B " The Store Beautiful "
B '' The Finest Baby in
j the World
HI should certainly have as fine a Gocart as the
gflBl I parents can afford. Buv your Baby one of our
ISH I I Infant Vehicles and it will have the finest, pur-
flH I I chaseable at the Price you can afford.
HBI I ' We have Gocam from $1.75 up.
IBp h ; Tie Greenewald ,. ,
P j Furniture Co. kssr
MHI 33 T0 43 West Third So.
the awful time it hath with the needle's eye.
Considerest this maiden that camels are not
made for holoy sox, but darning cotton hath
virtuos, and gooth througl the eye with ease?
"Thou utterest truth when thou sayest life
containeth other things for young womanhood
than ' understanding of .the oil stove that goeth
off suddenly, or skill in seeking out the dust that
makoth untidy the settin room.
"A maiden, she mateth in time, and the man
who seeketh a cook only, let him hotfoot to the
"But remember, too, that even now the young
man hath it to himself to hustle for the blue
chips, for few possessoth rich daddies.
"And the woman who knoweth to boil . the
eggs in the morning while dearie blacketh his
own shoos, verily she -standeth a bully chance
of wearing the two-karet kind before her shadow
rtIn sooth, the young man in love askethi few
questions, but the main one, which he blurteth
while his knees they rub with fea.r
"But when the dancing roselight growoth
dimmer, and the honeymoon looketh like a
plugged quarter, then doth the butcher's bill
growl lustily at him as he counteth the small
change that wifey hath overlooked.
"But if wifey talketh cleverly;
"lfsho knoweth how to draw three cards
without pestering the boys who drop in for the
good things that hideth in the ice chest;
"If she soothoth him when he gettetth the
grumps, and sheweth herself of sympathy and
"If she alloweth him to talk shop a little at
home, and gettoth wiso to the conversation;
"Soon it dawnoth on Willie that she is neces
sary unto him, and his love for her choketh not,
but groweth enduring.
"Sulk not, oh thou attractive one, when hubby
or sweetheart glveth thee the frosty nit to thy
"For sulking bringeth wrinkles that give the
bow-wows to Madame Yale, and causeth thine
own dear one to renew his cogitation as to thine
"Knowest thou not that sweet, clear waters
only sparkle the more when obstructions con
"Do as the waters do, oh thou wise woman;
sparkle, and get around.
"Hast thou learned now, how thou shouldst
conduct thyself, and what thou shouldst do and
"Verily, if thou hast, thou knowest more than
I, for I know not myself. Therein lie thy chief
"That a fool man understandeth thee not, but
guesseth mightily. Keep thou him guessing
therefore; for fear of losing thee yankoth him to
the path quicker than a headache.
"But what of thou, oh young man with head
in the skies and hand in papa's pocket? Loga
rithms to thee are as easy to work as Reuben
among the tin-horns; but canst thou hump thy
self with a lawn mower?
"Thou knowest the mysteries of mixtures that
sootheth in the pipe, and telleth quickly between
the imported bubbles and the kind that made
Milwaukee bilious, but canst thou make good at
?M per when daddy boosteth not?
"Thou rejoiceth in sox that yell with conflict
of colors, and raiment that putteth Bert Savage
to shame, but couldst thou dig the price if papn
gave thee the family look?
"I tell thee, a ten-minute catch-as-catch-cau
with the sawbuck is worth more to thee than an
hour with the manicurist; thy hands, they may
not look so pretty, but they will be worth more
"What good art thou anyway, young man?
Thou art swollen with half-cooked knowledge;
canst thou earn the salt that aldeth in the di
gestion? "In time, perhaps, thou wilt take unto thy
self a maiden for wife. It may be even now that
foolish look cometh over thee. Sayest thou that
thou lovest thine sweetheart? Toll her so, oh
thou chump, tell her so early and often.
"Thinkest thou in thy mulishness that maid
or matron contentoth herself with one applica
tion of goo talk? Verily, thou makest me sick,
(Continued on Page 12 )
ONE PRICE TO ALL NEVER UNDERSOLD
Unusual Dressmaking Reductions for
the Month of May
Our Dressmaking Department, in its few years of existence, has demonstrated beyond all
question that the very highest grade of Dressmaking and Women's tailoring can be done in
this city, and that it is no longer necessary to have such garments made in Eastern style cen
ters. We have achieved a most wonderful success, all of which is due to the fact that the
garments we are producing cannot be equaled in either style, quality, workmanship or price.
We are now ready io execute orders in all the Newest Summer Fabrics, and during the
cftConth of vKCay, that our Dressmaking Division may retain thoir full staff of workers, we
shall make Special 'Prices in This Dioision. These speciaj prices will be made only during
1 the month of May and the workmanship will, of course, be as fine and careful as if Gowns were
made at the usual, much higher prices.
Suits will be made for $25 which were formerly made for $35.
Gowns will be made for $18 which were formerly made for $25.
Gowns will be made for $1 5 which were formerly made for $20.