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H Songs Of The South And Quaint Philosophy Fronk LB5,Stlimon B Christmas Visitors. PH Tho folks'll come for Christmas BM I'm authorized to state: B They'll strike us sorter early, H An' sit up with us late; H The Joneses and the Jinkinses, B The Buttorworths and Browns B The old-time folks with old-time jokes, B From all the old-time towns. BB You'd better stretch the table out B If any room's to spare, B An' add a corner to the house, B An' buy some crock'ryware; B An' your mother says she's comin', B So we'll build a pulpit next, B v An' I reckon that means preachin' B From the old, familiar text! B It sorter seems unnatur'al, B An' takes a feller down, B That we never have big kinfolks, B Till Christmas comes around'! B An' then they're with us early, H An' then they linger late: H But thank de Lord, ther's turkey Hj For every pious plate! H But let us stretch the table out V If any room's to spare, H, An' pile the plates with plenty H; Since it's smilin' everywhere; B An' since your mother's comin' Hl We'll build a platform next, H' For we're pretty sure o' preachin' H1 From the old, familiar text! Bl H Log Cabin Sayings. H' j Money can't buy yer way into B i heaven, but all de same it makes de B i ' collection basket jingle like de angels B wuz serenadin' you. H B; Don't think dat it's a long jump ter B Happiness. Sometimes It's only a B short step in de rosy road. B1 B You must let your light shine befo' B men. Don't bo afraid of it; it won't B be big enough to set a house on fire. Bi B Ef you'll quit growlin' long enough B ter be happy, you'll find dat de Lawd's B runnin' de worl', an' all you got ter do B is run along with it "BH B i Many a man will be mightily sur- B prised w'en he hits de pearly gates of B I de Hereafter ter diskiver dat dey B j wuzn't expectin' him dar at all. K B I Wen you hear folks say dey don't B believe in Satan, it's ten ter one dey B is do very ones what is raisin' de B i devil ever' day in de week. B B Wind That Rumbles in the Chimney. B Wind that rumbles in the chimney B 1 He's just like a growler grum; B f f Holidays don't satisfy him, B t Don't want Christmas time to come. B I ' Cold, from roamin' all about, m . , Yet he'd put the fire out! H ? B Through the lonesome night I hear B ! All the time he wants to storm; B Why should he be always growlin', m If the chimney keeps him warm? B Cold, the snowy hills about, H Yet he'd put the fire out! H A Holiday From Trouble. Hi Just leave the growlin yonder or H the tip-top o the shelf; H Take a holiday from Trouble an H congratulate yourself! B0 Wipe yer weepin' eyes, B An' fix yer wings to rise B I To the hilltops that are closer to B ' 'U The Halleluia skies! B B The boss that is the swiftest he'l H clear the Trouble-bars; An' don't you pick a banjo fer the Tribulation-stars. Raise yer happy eyes, An fix yer wings to rise To the hilltops that's closer to the Halleluia skies: "When Plenty's in the Pie." ' W'en Christmas come, an' de roads is white, An' Plenty's in de pie, An' de music's goin' left and right De day's so long dat he takes up de night, An' de Promise Lan' is nigh! Den it's "Swing yo' ladies - Swing 'em all! Des make de music fly! Han's all roun' in de happy hall, Till de stars dance in de sky! Chunk date fire till de oak-log blaze An' de light shines 'cross de snow; Dis is de place whar de good time stays; A dram ter drink an' a song ter raise, Don't let de good time go! Den it's "Swing yo' ladies Swing 'em all! Don't pass de good time by; Han's all round in he Happy Hall, De Promise Lan' is nigh! The Rare Ride of the Sheriff. "Just when we were looking for ward to a happy time during the holi days," writes a Billville editor, "we glimpsed the sheriff coming down the road, and we were Bhortly made aware of the fact that his mission was the foreclosure of a forgotten mortgage. " 'Won't you light?' we called, as we courteously opened the front door. " I will, said the sheriff. 'That's the very thing I'm a-doin' right now.' "And up the steps he came. ' 'I've some business with you,' he said, blowin' his fingers, 'but I can't git all the papers till I've warmed up.' "Inwards, or outwards?" we asked, suggestive like, 'for we'd got four gal lons of circus-seein' licker by express that very mornin'. " 'Well,' he said, 'as you well know, I jined the prohibitionists no longer than three days ago, but I'm free to confess that my inwards air as cold as my out'ards, an' a little dram of anything you've got would do no harm.' " 'None in the world,' we said, an' the kind I'm goin' to give you is as old a.8 the oldest mule you ever levied on." "We poured him out about six fin gers, as he wasn't particular about sayin' 'when,' and he didn't make more'n one long swallow of it, after which he smacked his mouth so loud that our good lady hollered from the hallway: 'Don't slam that door so.' "Two more drams came easy to him, an' he clean forgot what he come for, and paid us $2, which he said a cousin of his owed for the paper. Then he said he must be goin', and after he'd got on his mule backwards, and grabbed the animal's tail by mis take for the bridle, he nearly fell off bowin' an' wavin' good-bye, an' went 1 a-rippin' and tearin' through the main street on that old mule, in that back wards condition. "Before they stopped him an' got him down from that undignified posi tion he had run over four peaceful citizens and a law-abidin' superior court judge for tryin' to drive that mule with its tail, of course he could not see anybody or anything in front 1 of him; and, in addition to the dan gers we mentioned, that scared ani mal ran into the new Post Office, where it kicked out seven letter boxes and dislocated the shoulder of our leadin' congressman, who had come home to vote to continue himself in office. "Needless to say, we had no iuea the stuff would act that way, or we might have restrained him from ab- sorbin' so much of it; but what's done cannot be undone, and it wasn't our fault that the sheriff forgot to levy on us; and we still have a little of the brand left, and stand perfectly willin' to treat all our enemies in the same sociable way." Where Charity Counted Wrong. "Yes, yo' honor," said the prisoner to the justice, "it wuz out o' de char ity o' my good feelin's dat de turkey you is talkin' 'bout wuz missin' f'um de roost. He looked so col' an' lone some dar dat I says ter him, I did: Honey, I gwine ter take pity on you, an' interdooce you ter good company. An' at dat I took holt o' him an' tucked him up snug an' warm, under my ol' overcoat, an' made him wel come in my own house, an' wuz in de very act o' pettin' him, an' makin' much o' him, w'en here come de sher iff an' took him an' me right back ter whar I fust made dat turkey's ac quaintance. But, it's de way o' de worl'. Kindness an' sociability is no mo' 'predated in it." The Boy's Opinion. De boy sesn Sandy Claus Come down An' stan' by de Chimbly-place: "He looked so black As he sat down his pack, He b'longs ter de Cullud race." Wonder-Working Weather. The people saw a wonder The weather brought about: It snowed the growlers under, An' none would dig 'em out. The Giddy Old Year. " 'Not so young as I used to be,' The old Year laughingly said, But play that music right for me, And I'll dance the world to bed." A Toast. Now may the beautiful bright days Your sweetest songs employ: Leave the dim land where trouble stays And travel on with joy. A Log Cabin Holiday. It's mighty lonesome when de banjo takes a holiday. Besides, ef you kin manage ter keep folks dancin' dey'll never do a harm's turn in de world'. De great man has got ter be digni fied, an' de more dignity he has ter carry, de less happiness is in his Christmas stockin'. W'en de holiday music is in de a'r, it's hard fer Dig nity ter keep his foots still. Satan is in de holiday season same as any other time, but people not only winks at him, but feel so good dat dey excuse him fer his meanness. Dar's enough happiness in de worl' ter go roun', ef folks wuz only willin' ter pass it fum ban' ter nan. It's only a fool dat apologizes ter de hilltdp fer even havin' had ter live in de valley. Even de arthquake has got ter rest up some time. It would be a fool of a worl' ter try ter swaller itself. How the Creetur's Cel6brate. "De Holiday season," said Brother Dickey, "puts me in min' o' de time w'en it so happend dat nobody wuz runnin' fer office, an' dar wuz slch good feelin's all 'roun,' de Creeturs got together to consult 'bout how ter spend de Chris'mas time. , "It had been slch a year o' Plentj , dat de las' one o' 'em wuz des rollin in fat. Fer instunce, w'en Br'er 'Pos J sum laughed, he laughed all over dei ' wrinklein' wid de fat! An' ez fer j Br'er Rabbit he almos' runned 'wan f'um de Lookin' glass w'en he kotched a glimpse o' hiss'ef, takin' up de whole o' it he had growed so out o' his own knowledge! "Even Br'er Wolf, who use ter le so lean dat his shadder didn't stay long 'nuff fer him ter git a look at it an' he'd 'bout decided ter sell liissot fer a walkin' stick, begin ter 'feel his oats, 'an' strut 'roun' lak' he had a fust mortgage on de earth, wid dc moon throwed in fer good measure; an' I did hear tell dat of Br'er Bar sent a note ter Br'er Elephant, say- ing' he'd match him. des any time he said, fer de job o' Fat Man in de fust circus dat com 'long. So, ez I said befo,' dey all 'lowed dal dey never had had no sich chance tetj celebrate de Chris'mus season ez da? partickler time, an' dey sho' whirled, in ter celebrate right an' proper! Deyl belt a holiday meetin' in de woods, an' Br'er Elephant wuz 'plnted ter m what dey calls 'temporary chairman an' mighty 'temporary he wuz, tool kaz time he sot down be broke del chair all ter flinders, an rolled on del groun' an' de laugh wuz at his eij pense, which he jined in so hearty da you could hear him half a mile! j "Den Br'er B'ar stood up on hio las' legs an' made a talk 'bout how GinV rul Prosperity wuz come, an' it wuz up ter de crowd ter have de time o'dei lives; but whattor do, he said, ter haw dat time, wuz mo'n what he could tel 'em; onless dey all had a gin'rul hand shakin' on de subject of feelin' so gooi over it. j "Den Br'er Fox riz up an' 'lowcfl dat he felt spry 'nuff ter dance, an' i happy hands-all-'roun' would be d very thin,?. Dat kotched de wholi crowd, an' de motion wuz put an' cail ried ter it, but right dar trouble coral in: Br'er Rabbit tol' 'em dat yoi couldn't dance, fer ter call it dancir widout music, an' der warn't :i fldJ or a banjo in de whole crowd! C Miss Scritchowl told 'em dat singi wuz mighty liftin' ter ae feelin's, t dey could have a halluluia time 1 each raisin' a tune, 'cordln' ter h hibits; but as dey'd hearn hu sing I fo dey voted her down, an' out ci der. "Howsoever, de proposition took hcj n' lots n' 'em. an' de majority rulc de day. " "Fust off, Br'er Elephant blowc his trumpet so loud date folks in settlement clost ter whar de Creetu ! wuz, thought dat Judgmlnt Day h. Hho come at do wrong time o ye. an' ever 'possum what wuz sett j close ter him wuz blowed cl'ar up trees! An' de wust of it wuz dat d lak some human folks, what loves t hear der'selfs perform, B'er Elepha , didn't know de crowd had 'nuff, a kept up de note, as ef he done sign a contract ter beat a blizzard blc in'! "Dat sot Br'er B'ar ter growli 'bout de res' o' 'em not havin' i show; an' Br'er Wolf, wantin' to-sho( off his voice, thought he better try t git a word in edgewise, an' de v ho howled wuz a caution! Up ter ( time ol' Man Lion had kep' 'way ( on de fur edge o' dp meetin' 'feeli his dignity,', so ter speak, but he si ter his'se'f dat it wuz now or nev ter show what wuz in him, an' he g j a roar dat shook all de 'possums (i o' de trees. J "An' den, one atter another f'um j ( Continued on page 00) I