Newspaper Page Text
H 6 GOODWIN'S WEEKLY
. Gojsip for Women .'.
W ITIIOUT the present New Year
'resolution a large part of the
H paving improvements of the
H Infernal regions would hnve to be giv-
H en up. Llk hypocrisy, the New Year
H resolve is often simply the homage
H which vice pays to virtue. Conso-
H uently the wicked old world, which
H r g experienced, shrewd, and, on the
IH -whole, just, has both patted the New
H Year resolution on the back and seen
Bj through It pitilessly. The person who
H 'does not make 1st of January resolves
H is consciously out of style. Yet on
j the 1st of February the person who
i is self-examining "and resolving is
H equally unfashionable.
H What Is the trouble with the New
H Year resolution? Psychologists can
H tell, promptly and fully.
H It lacks the motor nerve.
H Any mental impression that does
H not express itself in act inevitably
H dies in its tracks, or, worse still, re-
m acts and paralyzes.
H The only safety for a resolution is to
m practice It immediately.
M Now, most New Year resolutions
Hf .are negative. They cannot be put into
R Tict, for they are resolves to refrain
m from this or that action. A new Year
H resolution, to live beyond its hour of
H adoption, must bo a positive resolve.'
H One "I will do thus and so!" out-
H weighs and outlasts a thousand of "I
H will not do this or that!"
Ha A Now Year resolution of "this pos-
H itlve, practical species, evon whon
H planted in the winter snow, will turn
M out a hardy perennial instead of the
Hj usual hothouse, winter killed variety.
H Try it in 1913 and see.
H Not long ago I ran across a sen-
H tence of Tallyrand writing to Mme.
H De Remusat: "I pity you, for you
H are called upon to amuse the un-
issn itnnsaltlo "
H No wonder the great French states-
H man was moved to pity; there is noth-
H Ing more pitiable than the effort to
H keep amused some booby who has
H never been trained to self-sufficiency.
B Could mothers know the torments
they were storing for wives to bo they
would teach their sons to amuse
themselves if they had to be well
whipped Into It
' What is more detestable than a man
or a woman, either who, office
-hours over and the dally paper
skimmed through, looks aggrieved If
f, wife is not instantly ready to offer
' him amusement?
The trouble is she always is ready.
Slur the- modern wife if you will,
the selfish, self-centered kind never
seems to get tied to the selfish man.
"Would that she did then they could
fight It CFUt and both would improve.
Have you nover seethed with rage
to see a poor-tired wife, who is get
ting her first ten minutes, re&t after
' a long day of slaving, meekly put
5 flown her book at the most exciting
jpoint when husband assumes the look
t of boredom?
1 I haw,
Beeause man for ages has boon
trained to consider his own pleasure
j. as paramount he thinks a wife want
ing If she does not want to do as .he
wants. Just let him wish to. read "and
you would see what would happen if
Susie dear should suggest a friendly
game of bridge or a visit next door.
It is only when books pall on .John '
that something must be dona, instant
er. If only these pleasure cravers
would be content with simple amuse
ments! They are epicurean in their
tastes soon get to the unamusable
class. What wife enjoys doesn't
count as long as hubby is having a
A doctor signed a death certificate
of "heart failure" for a dear little wife
of my acquaintance. He should have
put "done to death by an unamusable
That woman wns far from strong
and, because her man was the booby
who could not amuse himself, her
evenings, half holidays, and Sundays
wore a torment.
Sho took long walks when she
should have been on her back; played
cards while her head burst; visited
.while every nerve twitched; sat
through the theater with harits
clonched and lips a hard line In" des
perate struggle not to faint when John
was having a good time.
Of course sho died.
Did dear John repent and mourn
her memory otornally?
Not he! -Ho was calling on another
woman within a month, to the scan
dal of the neighborhood. And his
doting mother, when she heard the
talk, was indignant. "Johnny, dear,
is lonely; he must be amused."
Just those doting mothers who pro
vide toys for their sons before they
have given up bottles; who Insist on
every one especially small sisters and
gin menus oemg sacrificed to keep
the restless boys amused.
Instead those boys should have been
taught self-sufficiency from the
cradle. There is no sense In a man
being unamusable. It is unnecessary
torture on wife and children, who are
less willing slaves than mothers. The
thing is to begin on the self-amusing
regime oarly enough; It is too late
when Johnny, dear, takes to himself
So why waste pity oven on the mar
ried slave whose- role Is to strive to
amuse the unamusable in husbands?
She could rebel, but will she?
The retailer stopped one of his old
est customers on the street
"I want to speak to you," ho be
gan. "Go ahead and see if I oaro."
"You've got to care. This bill of
yours has boon running a long time
"Poor thing! How can you be "so
oruel as to lot It run a long time?"
"Well, what aro you going to do
"I'm going to make you a sugges
ts .. If that bill has been running for
as long as you say It has give it a
rest. Let it stand for a month or
Appearing in tho funny German
farce, "Tho Girl from Tokio, wliich
will bo seen at the Salt Lake Theater,
Friday and Saturday, with matinee
Saturday, January 21-25.
WHO HE WAS.
A small boy with a rather .lost and
lonesome appearance walked into the
county clerk's office at the court
house. He gazed about him for a
time and finally approached Deputy
Henry Smiley. "Ploaso, sir," the lad
said timidly, "have-you seon anything
of a lady around here?"
"Why, yes, sonny," answered Smiley,
"I've soon several."
"Well, have you seorv any without
a little boy?" the lad asked anxiously.
"Yes," replied Smiley.
rtWell," said the little chap, as a
relieved look crossed his face. ' 'I'm
the little boy. Where's tho lady?"
i """ ""-- " -
"What did tho audloneo do when
you told them that you Jiafl nevor
pjrid a dollar for a voto?"
"A few cheered, but most of them
seemed to lose Interest." Washington
La Tasado" cigar. Learn to say It
and to ask for It. (Adv.)
If IlCornes From
Doran's, It's Good
DORAN'S, Salt Lake
Kenyon Hotel Blook
Phone Wasatch 68
Wholesale and Retail
Tho Liquor Store Without a Bnr
' ' '
"r , -Hi
$2.00 THE YEAR "' ,
524 Felt Building J
PHONE . I