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Dakota County herald. (Dakota City, Neb.) 1891-1965, February 14, 1913, Image 2

Image and text provided by University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/2010270500/1913-02-14/ed-1/seq-2/

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DAKOTA CITY HERALD
JOHN H. REAM, Publisher.
DAKOTA CITY, - - NEBRASKA
"".' ' ' ''
UNCLE SAM'S SCALE OF TIPS,
That tho tip Is nn established Instil
tutlon in the United SUUes Is conced
ed by that serious agency or govern
ment, the federal treasury depart
ment It haa promulgated an order
specifying the tips that ItH employe!
may Ineludo In their travclliiB ex
penses whllo transacting public busi
ness. Some may bd Inclined to ac
cept tho government's scale of tlpn, as
they accept tho government's weights
and measures, as establishing tho
standard The treasury department of
a national administration that has
tried to make a specialty of efficiency
and economy permits an employe In
Now York or Chicago to tip tho per
Bon who brings his meals to him not
Hioro than 50 cents a day. Ho may
spend a like sum for this sorvfeo in
any vac of a ocoro of other cities of
considerable size, th names, of
which are spcclflco" For the service
of sleeping car porters ho may spend
25 tents a day and of chnlr car por
tern 15 cents a day If he crosses tho
Atlantic ocean ho may ubo $10 for
steward's fees; going to or from Ha-1
wall ho may glvo the steward $15;
going to or from Panama or Porto
Itlco, $10. Ho Is not allowed to glvo
baggagemen or porters moro than 25
cents on his arrival at or departure
from hotels,, wharves, railroad sta
tions and such places. Tipping Is a
serious matter to many an American
of small resources, says tho Chicago
Dally News, Not a few persons wish
they had the federal treasury behind
them to stand tho expenBo of tips
when they travel. Jt may comfort I
them somewhat to know that tho
treasury itself parcels out tho tips
with a considerable degroo of prudence.
An eastern doctor says that women
arc moro like, monkeys than men in
thnt thoy exhibit moro curiosity This
Is a dangerous discussion and recalls
the observation by a woman that
women as well as men might have
sprung from monkeys, but that tho
women sprang farther; furthermore it
suggests (he remark by a witty wom
an that "Men aro moro logical than
women nlao mora zoological."
Tho Young Idea faces a terrible
crislB. A Pittsburg Judgo has decided
that a teacher has the rlsht to whip
an unruly pupil, and that the rod is, a
necessary adjunct to educational pro
cesses, la other words, this modern
Judge sustains tho rulings of Solomon,
whose wisdom on tho bench has never
been called Into quoBtlon.-Exchango.
Tho pastern college professor who
has found by Investigation that red
headed men. seldom mam woraeu
withered hair had his Jibor for noth
ing. Tho custodian of tho seismo
graph station In Washington could
havo given him that Information off-band.
f Whether that aviator flies across
tho Atlantic in 33 hours or not, ho
will achieve a first page position in
tho newspapers if ho makes tho at
tempt and many a man hns lived to
old age without gaining that distinction.
A college law professor declares tho
timo has como when tho courts must
concern thomselv. an much with Jus
tice as with law. It Is encouraging
to find exports sustain tho ldoa that
justice was originally the causo-for-be-ing
of law.
It is reported that American million
aires are- being skinned in London art
dealers. But most or tho millionaires
gained their money on Wall street by
skinning tho unsuspecting. Sort of
robbing Petor to pay Paul.
Tho story that an AmerlCun duchess
has been arrested It) Venlco for insult
ing Italy is a very Btartllng one, espe
ally to Americans It shows tho fine
Italian, hand in inventive fiction.
, A- sensation of regulated inlldness
has boon caused fcy a. woman's wear
ing a watch in her slipper. Then thoro
was tho old conundrum about the
clocks on tho stockings.
Those Harvard studonts who earn
ed $10,000 as waiters during tho last
yar should develop into masters of
frenzied fluanco after graduation.
A Now York physician claims to
have a cure for red noses. Uut tho
water wagon, no matter in what dis
guise, Is the water wagon Htlll.
Possibly 50 per cent, of tho ampu
tated appendices were all right, but
there was no pi o vision In any of the
contracts for n rebate In such ovonL
About this time, too, QladyB begins
to manifest a loudness for tho roses
that did not appeal to her at all last
summer
A hotel has been opened in Paris
without servants, and the guests have
a good time In handing themselves
tips.
AST summer It was whispered
somo privileged circles of "prehis
torlans" that a wonderful fossil man
had been discovered in a grnvel of
very great antiquity in tho south of
England The greatest secrecy was
observed as to tho exact spot and as
to tho fortunate discoverer of those
remains. It was rumored that tho
remains now found in England were
worthy to compare with tho cele
brated skeleton of tho Chapclle-aux-Saints
and the lower Jaw from
Hoidelberg, and Indicated a moro ape-like type of
man than either of these, as well as being geo
logically much moro anclont than any human
bones yet discovered
Some eight weeks ago I was onabled, by tho
kindness of Mr Charles Dawson, F. S, A of
Lowes, and Dr. Smith Woodward, F. II. 8., of the
Natural History Museum, tho discoverers of these
Interesting remains, both to examine the speci
mens and to visit with ono of them tho site near
Ilckllold, In Sussex, where tho bones were found
The discovery was brought beforo the Geo
logical socloty by these two gentlomcn In full
dotall recently, and there Is no longer any desire
on their part that others should abstain from
comment on the subject. It was obviously necos
sary to take stops to avoid any Interference with
tholr excavations whllo theBo wcro in progress,
and to prevent any promnturn
statements in public about tho ago
and character of tho remains.
Dr. Smith Woodward Is to be con
gratulated on tho skill with which
he has demonstrated their very
great Interest and Importance Tho
fact that thoy aro tho first fossil
Ized human bones found In a flint
bearing gravej associated with
flint Implements Is Itself of great
Interest.
The human bones found aro the
right half or a lower Jaw and n
largo part or the loft sldo of the
"skull They were dug out of a
gravel not mnro than rour reet
below the surfaco and not far
apart so that thoy probably nro
art if Hie -amc individual, The
bones aro mlnorallzed and deeply
stained through and through by
Iron of a ruddy-brown color, ns Is
tho sand and tho flint? among
which they aro found. Thoy-woro
in a broken state whon discovered,
and the bioken edges had beon a
"rn croro tho pieces Were embedded
S tl y Tr Untl Thoy aro'int liable.
Sit of VRnd ',ard; Th0 plece of b forming
Snrnv ,Mht Wa" f !h braln oa ,fl extraordl
narlly thlck-as much as a third or nn inch
The lower Jaw lms two molar teeth (the first
and second) in nlnrn Timu r ... ....
on the surfaco Tho Jawbono lo chiefly rernark
ablo ror tho breadth of tho upstanding part or
ramus, and tho shallowness of tho notch S
(called "tho sigmoid notch") between tho articu
lar process A and tho process facing it (tho
coronold) In this tho Sussex lower Jaw 1b un
like a modern man's, nnd approaches tho heavy,
upa-llko jaw found In early Pleistocene sands
at Heidelberg
I have roughly sketched tho four lower Jaws
In tho accompanying figure, bo that thoso points
can bo compared. I mndo tho sketch of tho Sux
sex Jaw hurriedly, and It ,must not bo regarded
as strictly accurato in moasuromonts.
The trout pVt or It Is to a largo extent brokon
away, only Its lower end, marked X In the draw.
Ing. bolng proBorved Hut this 1b a most im
portant bit. It Is flattened on tho undor sido.
nnd forms a flat, broad "union" (or symphysis)
with tho other hair or tho Jaw (broken away)
reaching as far back as tho "g" in tho word Fig
This Dr Smith Woodward showB Is unliko tho
same region in modorn man, or even in the
Hoidelberg Jaw. It is almost oxactly like tho
union or tho two halves or the Jaw In tho chim
panzee, and JUBtilles tho completion of tho Jaw
made by Mr, Frank Harlow, tho ablo modeler of
tho Nntural History Museum, at Dr. Smith Wood
ward's suggestion
To 1111 up the space for tooth indicated by the
bone, ft Ih neceHtmry to Introduce two large bi
cuspids, a large canine, and two largo front
tooth, bigger than those of a man nnd like thoso
of a well-grown chimpanzee
Tho skull has been carefully "completed" from
its fragments by Dr Smith Woodward and Mr.
Harlow, and proven lo have a good straight fore
head, and Is probably that of a woman It does
not roBomblo tho bIcuIIs of tho Neanderthal raco,
nnd is in gennrni characlura closely similar to
that of tho inhabitants of this par' of Sussex
1,000 yoars ago
Tho gravel In which this fragmentary skull
and Jawbono were found embedded proves to bo
as remarkable as aro the human remains tliuut
solvcs Tho great valloy known ns tho Weald
of Sussex Is bounded on tho north and south nnd
enst nnd w,hI by chalk downs, often as much as
GOO feet or 700 feet nbovo tho sea lovol. Tho
chalk onco stretchod right ovor tho Weald con
tinuously It has been gradually dissolved nnd
worn away by llttlo stroanm sinking deeper nnd
deeper Into It, and carrying the chalk In solu
tion, nnd even the greon snnd below it,
away to tho sea Tho result Is that tho sands
and clays of the great sub-cretaceouB fresh-water
deposit known aH "tho Woaldon," containing ro
malnB or Igunnodon nnd othor great roptllos, aro
exposed. The, chalk nnd green sand which onco
lay to tho thickness oT several hundred root ovor
tho present surface havo beon slowly carried
away, but thoy still remain all around the edge
of thlB great valloy of erosion, Tho wntera
which woru away tho chalk ovor thla area form
ed gravels containing tho flints washed by them
from tho chalk, and thoy must havo boon lay
ing down thoso gravels at different lovels with
out ceaso from tho earllor times, when tho chalk
was hardly worn at all. until tho pronout day
Wo And on tho edge or tho Woald alley, high
up on tho top of chalk hills, what are known as
I' AST summer It was whispered In f M ffiWL M,4f. ' ' mSSwSKlBmSW V
somo privileged circles of "prehis- (3"? W9tii&fW3 f
torlans" that a wonderful fossil man W jrMfa , lwS-fflWlSPPHHKHKlNVv T?
had been discovered In a grnvel of jmWZ Vl$b WMJQHfHjB
very great antiquity in tho south of m$P JEj.- TWWtt4mKKKimmBk
J England The greatest secrecy was W-r flffffj -s''S
"' observed as to tho exact spot and as Wf jILTftWL JL- SSKKKBKKKmSSSSKS '
Jx to tho fortunate discoverer of thoso Ij&Brs. lSJff!
? remains. It was rumored that the BrlB TMkMi b'fjIi&SP
V remains now found In England wcro rjfr!Vg, H'3VIHKaHSHiHHK
ifel worthy to compare with tho ecle- mmiBk Wmi nffljjfflt' rP&im SIKtSwSSSK1
4ZL. bruted skeleton of tho Chnpelle-aux- TftWS'liR HBiWKmMS;iMH0l8IS8SBk
--" - vm--iv mmnMMmmtmimmv mi" iwi Mnwiin tiiwuuitmwm ' mil hmiwiss ? iiih
'l WMMU i-w r AA IMMH'Jlil A ." -- v. -J
- -T , f , ,
J t i ' -. ' '
B t S J, f x, 3 M -
"1l1l"sMliy TheSusjocJaw Ftq-o
A lleldaberMan, H5J
u -. Jr I
McxlcrnM(mig2.
H
Chimpanzee
f4:
&
cSie
4ZZS2
wow
digging up of this thin layor of
gravel over several acres of surface
and its sifting for road mending ma
terial that Mr. Dawson was able to
discover some of ItB peculiar contents,
and then by special digging and Bitt
ing to get further bones and teeth, in
cluding tho human fragments.
There can bo no doubt that it would
be well worth while to continue sys
tematically and carefully the turning
over of this strange shallow layer of
gravel tho residue or sifting, aB it
were, of all tho ages during which the
chalk was melting away from the Sus
sex Weald.
Nome Town
TflelpsT
IMPROVE THE COUNTRY TOWN
Purely as a Business Proposition,
Beautifying Any Village Will
Be Found to Pay.
Tho cities, great and small, aro dong
their whole duty in providing parks,
but tho villages and small towns seem
to think that parks aro luxuries be
yond them. Wo hear political econo
mists bewailing tho fact that tho cities
are growing faster than tho country,
and thoy ask why It is. Tarks, boule
vards, libraries, added to tho othor at
tractions of tho cities aro suro to en
tice tho country youth from the hum
drum lire in a frowsy hamlet. And
who can blamo them?
Dut if Mr. Carnegie, or Mr. Rocke
feller, or other of our rich men, should
assist nnd encourago our country
towns to build parks, to plant trees
nnd beautify their towns, thus mak
ing their homes pleasant, tho glamour
of the city, would not bo so striking,
the building and endowing of groat II
urarlcB is most commedable, but there
aro many things we nocd moro. Thoso
fine palaces filled with books aro hand.
Boino monuments to tho rich donor,
but the same amount of monoy ex
pended in playgrounds about thq city
schools and in parks in country vil
lages would bring moro health and
happiness to all tho people. Our coun
try people need to be educated along
this line. Make the country towns
moro beautiful, and the desire to leave
them for the great cities will not bo so
great. In spring tine the dwellers In
tho cities turn with longing to tho
country and the country town. They
long for green fields and singing birds,
and happy the suburban town whoso
pedplo have made its streets shady,
its appearance attractive, for to such
will como people who add to the com
munity's life and prosperity. From
an aconomlc view, village Improve
ment pays. It Alls up vacant houses,
it Increases the value of your proper
ly, it educates your boy and girl, and
it will make this world a pleasanter
placo than you found it.
GARDEN CITY NEAR CHICAGO
The no"w nickel pieces are to carry
a picture of the buffalo. This was
done becauso a good many could not
afford to bandlo the buffalo pictures
on tho $10 bills.
Five hundred dollars was paid for
tho egg of a great auk in London
recently, and it wad a storage egg at
thaL
A Milwaukee man Rays bo has a pro
cess to make milk direct from bay.
The cow joins tbo uboIcss middlemen,
"the high plateau gravels," as much as 700 feet
above sea level. Tho oldest of all theso gravels
1b very possibly of Plioceno ago, and 1b not re
lated to tho Thames valley or other existing
river valleys, which are of later date than they
-are. The gravel at Uckfleld (Plltdown), in which
the human Jaw was round, Is only 120 feet abovo
sea level, and not far from tho River Ousc,
which1 flows pnst Lowes. Probably a high pla
teau gravel existed on tho top or tho chalk
which once stretched across the Sussex Weald;
and the gravels deposited much later at low
levels arter tho wearing away or the great mass
or chalk lying ovor tho Wealden beds contain
somo material derived from these oldest and
highest gravels, and also somo of tho gravel de
posited in every successive ago as tho erosion
continued. So that this bottom gravel on the
Sussex plain, only 120 feet above sea level, Is
likely to contain a mixture and assortment of all
tho "(receding travels.
Hence It n very difficult to assign tho bones
and tho worked flints (shaped by man) found
in It to a doflnlto ngo. Any fragment wo pick
up may bo as old as tho plateau gravels which
lay on tho top or the chalk In tho vory early
Pleistocene or late Pliocene age, or may belong
to ns lato a period as that of tho actual deposit
of tho gravel bed In which we now find It im
bedded. ,
riio gravel about Plltdown is so thin a layer
that It escaped attention from tho officers or the
Geologlral Survey. It became known to Mr
Dawson by tho ract that local rarmers wore dig
ging it and sirtlng it ror mending roads. It
only exists on slightly raised parts of tho valley
of J tho Ouso, and Its "make-up" Is very peculiar.
It contains Iron-Btone and C-eply stained Iron-sand
from tho Wealden strata on which It rests, and
peculiar ruddy-brown brokon flints, not very
numorous, which nro nearly all bits or "tabu
lar" flint, recalling those of the high plateau
gravel nt Ightham. In Kent.
' Mnny or tho flints In this Plltdown gravel havo
been worked by early man Into rough Imple
ments Thoy nro or flat, shapo. often triangular
In area, and show a coarse but unmlatnkablo
"flaking" of human workmanship. I and my com
pnnlonB picked up four rrom tho surrnco of a
plowed field when I visited Plltdown Thoy are
rougher In workmanship thnn tho Acheullllan. or
oven Chelloan, implements of our bettor known
rivor terrace gravels. It' is impossible to asso
ciate them with thoso from any nther locality
known to mo; nnd I should merclj .say to them
that thoy seem to bo earlier than any flint Im
plements which enn bo rightly called Chollean.
Later nnd moro finely worked flint Implements
havo not been found In this grnvel.
Uut tho mqst romarkablo thing about this
gravel Is tho discovery In It. by Dr Smith Wood
ward and Mr Dawson, of a fragment of a tooth
of n mastodon nnd of fragments of teeth of tho
Klephas merldlonnlls specimens which were ex
hlbltcd to tho Geological society.
Theso two animals am known to occur in Plio
ceno Btrata and nro not found ns lato aB tho
Plelstoceno (In this part of the world). Tho
teeth of tho elephant In question aro very differ
ent from thoso of tho mammoth They nro found
also In tho Norrolk rorcst-bed nnd In ono or two
"HBBuros" In tho South Downs filled In by an
clont sands The remains or this olophant
abound In tho Plioceno or Franco nnd Itnly.
A fow fragmentary teeth of hippopotamus n
boavor, nnd n horso, a bit of a largo deer's nntlor.
nnd tho humnn Jaw and skull fragment comploto
tho list of animal remains It 1b owing to tho
It is natural to entertain tho suppo
sitions, flrst. that the fragmentary skull and low
er Jaw are those of ono or the race or men who
mnrifi thH rouch but well-flaked flint implements.
and, secondly, that ho was contemporary with tho 1 employment because of their ages.
Men Out of Employment Because of
Age Will Run the Proposed
Farms.
A garden city, similar to thoso of
England and othdr European coun
tries, win be built on a farm to be
purchased by the Anti-Forty-flve Llm
It league, organized for the purpose
or providing a means of livelihood for
men who have Deen tnrown out or
other animals whose bones or teeth have beeu I
hero found, namely, the mastodon and the meri
dional," or southern, elephant, and therefore that
tho man was of the Pliocene ago. It mus.t, how
over, be strictly asserted that we have as yet no
proof or the truth or such suppositions. Tho
human bones, the flint Implements, and tho mns
todon rfind southern elephant teeth may be each
ot a totally different age, and yet all brought
together by slow wearing away of the solid
ground by water and tho subsidence of Bome of
Its harder constituents Into one final gravel de
posit nt this present day.
On tho other hand, if wo look at probabilities,
there is somo reason to hold that the mnn (of
tho Jaw and skull) did not live later than the
makers of the rough flint Implements, since no
flint Implements ot a later type occur in this
gravel.
To say that he was contemporary with the
mastodon and Pliocene elephant, because their
fragmentary remains occur sido by sido with his,
is moro than wo aro Justified in doing. But it is
qulto true that there is nothing to prove that
they were not coeval.
Tho strongest argument against their being
coeval Is that tho fragment of human nkull and
tho lower jaw were found near each other, ar.ti
therefore wero probably Imbedded ror tho first
time In the existing gravel, and not washed out ,
or a previous deposit.
Tho Hoidelberg Jaw Is the most Impressive ot
all the remains ot prlmltlvo man yet discovered.
Though It Is so extraordinarily powerrul in
breadth and thickness, and so thoroughly apo-llke
In tho absence or chin, yet the well-preserved
teeth are thoroughly human and not ape-like at
all.
Tho canine (marked c In my drawing) Is as
small as in ourselves. Thoro Is no npproach to
tho great projecting dog teeth or tho ape (see the
figure or tho chimpanzee's Jaw) Yet tho moro
slender Sussex Jaw, owing to Its long union or
symphysis (beginning as far back as the letter
"g" In the word Fig ) is moro npe-liko and less
human. It had almost certainly great canines
nnd laro front teeth
The league will purchase a farm of
1,500 acres, near enough to Chicago
that the garden products may find a
jeady market.
The farm is to be divided into five
acre tracts. One ramlly will be es
tablished on each plat and given the
means ot operating the tract until able
to pay forIt.
rne smau iarms win uo tiuoo
enough together to permit of the gar-
den city plan. The residents will be
under regular city government, the
I only restriction being that no saloons
j shall be allowed In the city.
Schools will be provided and
I churches will be built, streets laid out
and all requisites or a modern city
esiauiisiiuu.
The league has arranged for the
snlo of bonds to raise the money nec
essary for the enterprise. Five hun
dred dollars will establish a family on
one of tho farms and as soon as the
man Ib ablo to pay tho $500 and an
extra $500 to bring another family the
farm will be transferred to him.
Street Trees Valuable Assets.
No one has ever been overheard
saying that any community, town, city,
state or nation grow too many street
trees. On the other hand those hav
ing the moBt havo become famous for
their civic pride and progresBlveness.
Again, countries or sections of coun
tries havo becomo barren, uninhabited
wastes when denuded of all trees.
Therefore, trees aro in somo cases a
prime necessity and' in nil cases a
valuable asBet. So clearly is this rec
ognized that there is much good-natured
rivalry as to which city Is beat
planted or has the most street trees
In fact street trees are the finest mu
I nlclpal asset a city may have, when
It is tc bo expected that other specimens will ' well-grown and otnciauy comrouea.
00 rounn in mis same gravel wticn runner ex
plored, which will throw moro light on tho gen
oral characteristics of the race to which the Pllt
down mnn belonged and on tho question of tho
geologic ngo to be assigned to thorn
Jury of Her Peers.
"Why aro you trying to got a Jury of blondes?"
"Hardly know myself. First caso I ovor tried
before n Jury or womon My client, as you see,
Is a yellow-hatred dame, and Bho sooms to think
that brunottes have a grudge against blondeB "
Boston Advertiser
Devotee of Dress.
Tltta Ruffo, tho now barytone,
praised in Philadelphia the elegance
of the American woman.
"At ono of your Rittonhouso Square
houses," he said, "I complimented a
husband on the elegance or his wire.
He laughed and replied:
" 'Yos, my wire Is indeed a devotee
ot fashion. I'm sure U she were tq
dto she'd never consent to be an an
gel unless they'd let her wear a robe
with a draped skirt.'"
iii!!i:!iiPiii4
flairr!u!!li.!iir3.!y-!i:i!.i!i!i!j'y,i
BEST J
For Every Baking
CALUMET
BAKING POWDER
Best because it's the
purest. Best because
it never fails. Best
because it makes every
baking light, fluffy and
evenly raised. Best
because it is moder
ate in cost highest in
quality.
At your grocers.
RECEIVED
HIGHEST
AWARDS
World' Pure Food Expo
sition. Chicago, 1U.
Paxa Exposition, Fruua,
Much. 1912.
You don't mm money when you buy
cheap or llg-can baling powder. Don't
be milled. Bay Calumet. It' mora
economical more wholesome gloa
best results. Calomel is far superior to
soar rpJlk on coda.
m tan If " 'JStTl
pME
BUT SHE DID NOT VISIT HIM
Little Chance That Voice-Culture Stu
dent Attempted to Gratify Old
Gentleman's Friend.
Patlnetly the old gentleman had
been sitting through tho ordeal of
hearing thevvolce-culturo student in
the hall bedroom below practicing with
a zeal which left no room for criticism,
but with a talent by no means so kind
ly described.
Finally ho crept down tho stairs
and rapped at the door of the young
woman's room.
"I can't como in," he Raid in re
sponse to an Invitation, "but I simply
camo to tell you of a friend of mine
who would, I know, bo willing to pay
almost any amount of monoy to hear
you sing."
Overwhelmed with joy the young
woman begged tho kind old gentleman
to write his friend's namo and address
on a piece of paper.
When ho had gono upstairs she
looked at the slip of paper which he
had handed back to her inscribed and
neatly folded. It read: "John W.
Jones, Asylum tor tho Doat."
Connoisseur.
"Mother, Is rather in the fruit busi
ness?" "No, boh. What put that idea into
your head?"
"Well, when he took mo for a walk
the other day he met Mr. Jones, and
all they talked about was peaches,
pippins and dates." Judge.
Proof.
"Is Isabel going to a beauty doc
tor?" "Can't you tell she is by tho way
she is changing countenance?"
ni.Es ennim in 0 to 1 Cuats.. i
Tonrdmlst will refund wuoer if PAZO OINT
MKNT fails 10 cure nn cane of llcbintf. Wind,
UlecdlnK or I'rolrudlng Piles lu 0 to 14 dais. Wo.
Arjreelng With Her.
"I was a fool when 1 married you!"
"Yes, and you married a fool!"
Matching Luck.
"It 1b on tho cards that thoso two would make j
a good living." I
"What do thoy do?"
"Ho runs a poker gamo and sho gives bridge
parties."
An old bachelor gets a bad case ot
itage fright every tlmo he thinks of
carriage.
The Quarrel.
"You said, when you proposed, that you'd rath
er Uvo In oternnl torment with mo thnn In bliss
by yourself"
"Woll. 1'vo had ray wish." London Opinion.
A Gallant Answer.
"You Beem to be an able-bodied man.
Ynu ought to. ba strong enough to
work."
"I know, mum. Ana you seom to be
beautiful enough to go on tho stage,
but evidently you prefer the simple
life."
Arter that Bpeech he got a square
meal and no rererenco to the wood
pUoMeddlor.
FAMILY OF REAL MUSICIANS
Surely Professor Do Flute Had Met
Exactly the People He Was
Looking For.
"I hope that you and your tamlly
would not object to conBldornblo mu
Bio," said Prof. Do Fluto. whon ho
called to soo If ho could ongago board
for six woekB ut tho homo of Undo
Joshua Dodd "I am a musical com
coaor and I would want to play a good
doal on sovoral Instruments whllo
working on somo musical composi
tions I am to bring out. It you aro
not fond of music I"
"Put her thoro, perfossor!" ex
claimed Undo Josh, as ho held out a
band worn largo and rough by honost
toll. "Fond of musto! Well, porfos
ser, your lucky star rid high whon It
sent you hero If you want to fnll In
with a fani'ly fond o' muslcl Muslol
Us object to muslo! Why, perfossor.
you see that molodeon ovor In tho cor
nor. Well, if you like music, you want
to hoar my wlfo play 'Old Dan Tucker'
with ono hand an' 'Yankoo Doodlo'
with tho other, while sho sings 'Tho
Ninety nn' Nino' at the samo tlmo!
Sho kin do lti Then ray darter Suzo
can outplay any ono in theBe parts on i hoar us all git goln' on our dlff'rent
tho nccordlum, an' my boy Hill kin Instorments an' slngln' from Gospel
jerk moro muBlo out of a llddlo than) Hymns Number 8lx' Qlad to have you
any two fellers in this neighborhood! Jlne us for the sing wo have ev'ry
"My son Duck kin put n Julco-harp night from seven or eight o'clock to
between his tooth an' play on It with, past midnight somo nlchts!" Judge.
Taking No Chance.
"Why Is It that you havo never
cared to run for a public office?
You're popular hero, and I have no
doubt that you could bo elected to
almost any placo within the girt or
tho people."
Tve often thought of becoming
Vrtti mnnf - nnnr miioln iu in i
JU ........ v- ....... ...,v juu ..uu,. im , ,. aiWoV. nlilnr.ts.
ono hand, while he rattles tho bones
with tho othor; and his sister llolle I
kin .play on the glttar anv tho banjo, I
nn hor brother 11111 kin play 'Monoy- i
musk' on tho coronet until you can't
keep your feet Btlll! 1 kin do a mighty
good stunt on tho harmonlcy, an' If
You sec, I waa
once a member of the brass band in
tho llttlo town I came from, and the
missus 1b afraid tho papors would
print somothlng about it If I ran for
office."
CONSTIPATION
Munyon's Paw-Paw
Pillsare unlike all oth
er laxatives or cathar
tics. They coax the
liver into activity by
gentle methods, they
do not scour; they do
not gripe; they do not
weaken; but they do
start all tho secretions
of tho liver and stom
ach in a way that soon
puts these organs in a
healthy condition and
corrects constipation. Munyon s Paw-Paw
Pills are a tonic to the uoraacli, liver and
nerves. They invigorate instead of weaken;
they enrich the blood instead o impover
Ubing it; they enable the stomach to get all
tho nourishment from food that is put into
It Price as cents. All Druggists.
FREE TO ALL SUFFERERS
Ton feel "out of sorts" "ran dorn,,or"got the
OM,"luBrtroia kidney. bladder.net vousdnoiics.
i
taroaloweaknt iwi, vlcers.esin eruptions, piles. 4o,
w rile for mr VUHUbook. Ulstheuioat Instructive
tosdlcal boon erer written. It tells all about thrse
llseases and toe re markableciirea effected bttlseNeir
rneb Uemedr "T II Kit A I ION" N-iv I. K.V i v.. .
and joa can decide f or roarseff If lttstbarnraedr for
tour alloienu . Ooal send a cent. It's absolutely
tm .Ho-follow.nn-cir??lars.I)r.l.ClroM.i
OewMarersUxk ltd., Uampctvad, LmSm, t
i
m
"9
a tfafAti. srtu i-
hA v-s
a$4.

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