Newspaper Page Text
ticorgo Darling tho furniture Dealer
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A t'AHLB IN VRRSU.
Hank Smithers was a genial cuss
who never sought to pick a fuss, but
went about in smiling way to do his
duty ev'ry day. Ho thought it was
man's placo to mix In the turmoil of
potties, but ho was wise enough to seo
the wrong in animosity.
He stood for what he thought waa
right and fought for it with all his
rafght, and whooped It up with might
and main in hopes a victory to gain.
But Hank refused to have belief that
each opponent was a thief and said:
""they're wrong, as I contend, but bent
upon an honest end."
" So, when election day camo 'round
it found Hank Smithers on tho ground;
and all day long he worked away in
hopes to win out in tho fray. Ho did
his duty, voted straight, and homeward
went without a "skate," turned into
bed and look a snooze, then early rose
to get the news.
t When Smithers crawled from out his
bed he found tho "enemy" ahead, but
never wept nor sulked a bit just
laughed and made tho best of it. He
joked his friends and said, "By dad,
it's not tho first defeat I've' had. I'm
used to it so it's all right," and then
went whistling out of sight.
The whole world hnles tho onery snoozer
Who proves to be a darned poor loser;
But love the man who's right on deck
E'en though he got it in the neck,
During all this anthracite trouble "we
have occasionally heard about the
"mine mules." Mules the little kind
arc always used in the coal mines,
and for a very peculiar reason. Most
people believe it is because the mules
are small and strong, but that is not It.
Tho reason lies in a peculiar mulish
characteiistic. In following Hie coal
veins the miners dig out naileries, and
these galleries are made as small as
possible. Tho coal is carried out in
little cars dtawtt by tho mules. Tho
roofs of these gallflies aio very low,
and whenever a mule's oars touch the
ropf the mule drops its head. A mule
will inviniably throw its head dojvn
when its ears are touched, while a horse
always ftuows its head up. If a horse
should be taken into the mine it would
soon butt its head out against the gal
Laying aside his harp the spirit np
pioachcd St, Peter, who stood by tho
gate, and said:
' I'd Hko to have a return check,
the good old saint.
"I'd like to have' a return check,
please.!' ; 4 , ?
"What do you want with a return
check? We don't keep them here."
"Well, you ought to." replied the
Spirit, wearily taking up the harp.
"I've been attending to business dili
gently since I came hero and I want a
little vacation. T think I've earned a
month or two of pleasure back in my
"Where did you come from?" queried
"There's only one place a man would
want to go back to after living here a
while. I'm from Nebraska."
And St. Peter, seeing the logic of the
case, reached for a pen and Issued his
first return check.
Illinois has a state song that is sung
to the tuno of "Baby Mine," and Iowa
has a state song sung to the tune of
"Maryland, My Maryland." Nebraska
should have a state song set to the tune
of "Cor'nation." This is a pretty bad
pun, but it's not the worse that ever
A Lincoln man ask for a divorce on
the ground that his wife threw cold
water on him. He has tho sympathy
of men whose wives keep them in hot
The Lindell hotel in Lincoln has
little intermural telephones in each
room, a card of instructions being
posted by the side of each instrument.
A Douglas county man occupied room
224 a fow nights ago, and just before
retiring concluded he wanted a pitcher
He looked for the bell and spied tho
phone. After Reading tho instruc
tions he rang up the office and made
his wants known. ' A bell boy hastened
up with the water and knocked at the
"Come in," said the occupaut
Tho bell boy opened the door and
saw the Douglas county ma'tr 'standing
in front of the 'phone, .holding tho
wash basin under the transmitter and
wjdtin? for the water to bo turned on.
But that story true as It is isn't a
marker to one that Charley Bryan tells
on himself. Charley is used to city
ways and his home is fitted up with all
the modern conveniences and Improve
ments. Last fall ho went down to
Missouri on a hunt and was domiciled
In the humble homo of a Missourian
who was ready to perform any service
for a man carrying the name of Bryan.
When night camo Charley retired
early so as to bo ready for a quick
start in the morning. His host lit a
candle and showed the guest to his
room, tho room being tho only ono in
tho Bccond story of the house. Char
ley undressed, turned down the bed
and prepared to jump in. And this is
the way he tells the rest of it:
"I slipped over to the table to douse
the glim, and I fumbled at that blamed
candlestick for two minutes trying to
find the thingumbob that turned off
A Lincoln newpaper man addicted
to the habit of smoking a plpo tobac
co tells this one on himself:
"The other night I had my knlfo
out cutting Borne clippings from ex
changes. I had my plpo in my mouth
and it went out on me. I reached into
tho match pocket of my coat with tho
hand containing the knife, drew tho
match out, transferred it to my left
hand and then jerked the point of my
knife across my leg just like a fellow
does when he wants to strike a match,
I cut a gash in my trouser leg about
seven inches long and it was a new
pair of pants I'd got from the tailor less
than a week before."
During tho progress of a "friendly"
game of poker at a certain place in
Lincoln the other night, a sizeabld
jack-pot came np. While tho players
wcie drawing their cards one of thcirf
deliberately spit in the middle of the
"Whafn thunder did you do that
for?" cried one of thanttinbcr. "What's
tlin mnttor with tlin euaniilor?"
guilty man. "Don't you think for
minute I'm going to tut n my head
A few yea'rs ago We witnessed ti
brutal prize fight between two middle
weight pugs who contested for the
championship of the. United States.
They fought twenty-three rounds to a
draw. At the end of the fight ono had
,1 bloody nose and tho uthor an eye
The other day we saw 11 polite and
mild contest between between two foot
ball elevens. At-the end (jf the second
round nine of the players were ' beat
black and blue, one had his nose split,
another had a scalp wound five inches
long, and had a fractured shoulder
blade, one a dislocated wrist and ono
was carried unconscious from the field.
These polite and mild athletic games
must bo encouraged; but all men of
morals and a desire to frown down
animalism should unite in discouraging
the brutal prize fight.
It is said of William E. Gladstone that
he told his wife everything that hap
pened within his knowledge. This was
all right for William, but we know (a
number of husbands who tell their
wives a great many things that never
happened at all.
Jones loves his
"What makes you think so?"
"Ho never tells any cute things they
If those Columbian revolutionists
have been revoluting all this time they
must ic awfully dizzy.
, There arc indications floating around
that in the near future tho newspaper
situation Lincoln will be something like
that which has existed in Omaha for
lo these many years.
Any cheap skate can write articles
making light of tho Biblo and Chris
tianity, and most of those who do are.
It is quite often tho case that the
men who do . most of the lawmaking
never draw legislators salaries.
Count Bo'nl do Castellane, the hus
band of Anna Gould, has been forced
out of the French chamber of deputies,
on the ground that he corrupted voters
This is a ptecedent which, if followed,
jvpuld 'make the-Anericqii senate lo,ok
like the change out of a ten-dollar bill
after your wife had finished an aftei
One of Nnture'n Noblemen.
The following communication was writ
ten and should have been received at this
office three or four weeks ago; but since In
some manner it failed to until this week,
in view of the extraordinarily high charac
ter of the one in regird to whom it la
written, and the universal esteem In which
he and his family are held, the Herald
deems it best to publish it anyway.
Would to heaven that all our young men
might have the same high tribute paid
"In the recent death of Leslie W. Nason,
which occurred on October 13 and of
which mention was made in the Herald
at the tho time, more than a passing notice
is deserving. He was an exemplary young
man of more than ordinary moral charac
ter, being truthful and honest in all his
dealings, obedient to hrs parents, always
willing to accept advice and neyer dis
regarding their wishes. Ho set good exam
ples in not using profane language, tobacco
or strong drink of any kind. About fifteen
months ago, being mindful of his future
welfare, ho united with the Methodist
church, of which he remained a respected
member. Ho was conscious to tho last
and ready to meet the change. A few
hours before he passed away, realizing the
end was near, ho called ihe family t6 his
bedside and after disposing of his worldly
effects took each by the hand, bidding
them goodbye and requesting them to meet
him on tho other shore. Such a record
cannot but impress the friends he left
behind that he is now reaping the reward
promised those who are faithful to the
List of Jurors.
The following is a list of jurors chosen
for the term of court to bo hold January
A. P. Brown,
E. G. Morris,
J. C, Hawkins,
W. B. Shull.
George J. Johnston,
A. M. Miller.
N. M. Hayes,
S. H. Desch, .
W. H. Roland.
C. E. Wiltsey.
F. R. Wiugfield, who recently sold the
Crawford Gazette to Colonel Ketchum of
thoTribuno, has gone to Chicago where
ho will operate a printing establishment
for Dr. W. I. Seymour, tho oculist, and
will also have charge of the doctor's adver
tising business and correspondence. Mr.
Wingfield was engaged in tho newspaper
business in Dawes county for several years
and his genial personality wjll bo missed
by tho craft. The acquisition of the
Gazette makes Editor and Postmaster
Ketchum "monarch of all lie surveys"" and
as has been said, makes the Tribune the
leading and most influential republican
newspaper inNor'hwest Nebraska.
Pursuant to an order of the district court
I will offer for sale to the highest bidder
fr cash at the west front door of the court
UUUao 111 J1MIUUUC, llTJUIilBKH, UU OaiUIUil,
November 29, 1902, all the property be
longing to the firm of Miller & Wildy, de
scribed as follows to-wit- ,
Lots 1 and 2 in block 11, in the village
of Hemingford, Neb., with flour mill
thereon. Building is three-story frame,
40x80 ft,, rock foundation and basement,
engine room 20x40, well-house and pump
and coal she'd, 16x16.
Tho mill has a capacity of seventy-five
barrels and is fitted with the best and
latest improved machinery, consisting of
five sets of E. P. Ellis rollers," one Univer
sal bolter, two purifiers, ten sets of reels,
one corn meal bolter, one Rockford corn
roller, flour packer, corn sheller, seventy
five horse-power E, P. Ellis Corless engine.
Safe, 3x4x6, weight 4,600 lbs; Fairbanks
24 ft. scale, hopper wheat scale and two
Lot 16 Block 34 with a i4 story frame
house 20x24, 6 rooms, and one story barn.
One four bin coal shed, 16x50; one lum
ber shed. 16x40; one lumber shed 12x20;
hog sheds and fences.
All the above property is situated in
Lot s Block 17 with frame store build
ing, 24x60 thereon, in the original town of
One mare, six years old; one heifer, two
All the wfieat, corn, flour, coal and lum
ber on hand on date of sale.
All book accounts.
T. J. O'Keefe, Receiver.
A. C. BINGHAq
Baldwin, Crown, Capen, Victor, Sweetland,
Bush & Girts, Ellington, Bingham, Story &
Clark, Valley Gem, Hamilton, Howard and
' J fi&'1 &"'.. -fi
Office One and a Halt Block All i A AJfF? JSJFFi
West of First National Bank LtLilfl Y Wi-w, iT B-tLJ
r m P t wo
? rZTs SSCTfiiffKlKffME3B . J . J
c m. 1 sA h )taaiKam3tu&WKrm Look over I
JjSaSKtlBSKS our !inc of c ' -
? WWMnWW Samples ) ,
S And make your selections. We measure your rooms and send sizes $
to factory, who cut and match and sew the carpets and return them - i
S in five days, ready to put down on your floor. They are cut and 5 - ?
i matched by experienced men, so there are never any mistakes; and,
S being sewed by machinery, are stronger and more uniform than 1 I
c when sewed by hand. j
... 1 i
Professional Cards. DruRRlsts and Pharmacists vv
ATTOUNEVS. M .m-' r . .
Orriot: I'honk 180. residence Phone 203.
R. C. NOLEMAN,
Rooms 1, 2 nnd 3, First Nnttonut bunk build
ing, Alliance, Neb. Notary In oflloo.
W. G. SIMONSON...
Oilleo Up-stutrs Over I'ostoflleo
SMITH 1". TUTTI.K. , IUA E. TA81I.
TUTTLE & TASH,
North Main St., - ALLIANCE. NEIl.
H. II IIFLMVOOD, M. 1. W. S. UEM.W0OP. M. U.
Bellwood & Bellwood,
Moisten Itulldlng, ALLIANCE. NEB,
L. W. BOWMAN,
Onico in First National BanltblocU. Alli
J. E. JYIOORE, JYl. D.
Calls answered from ofilco day or night.
Telephone No. 62.
Q. W. MITCHELL. M. D
Offleo In Lockwood
Pay 'Phono 205.
Night 'Phono 37,
JULIA V. FREY,
Oflico two blocks north of Times building.
Hours, 8 to 12 u. m., 1 do to 5 p. in.
Contractor and Builder.
Turning and Scroll
Work and all
Kinds of Shop
GEO. G. GADSBY,
In O. A. Anderson's
ATTORNEY HWi . WY"! K
at law. isSfl CT t ra Bm BD,
B Jfeflk 1 I 1 Z
3i GET A BOTTLE OF
'oti&Viovxw&'M.otv audi 5ax
It cures the Cough.
Alliance , Pharmacy ',
J. S. flEKINEY, Proprietor.
F. J. Brennan
Paints, Oils and Wall Paper
Is One of the Most Up-to-Date Drug
stores in Nebraska.
Fine Watch Repairing
T. E. XOLSTEK,
3 amonds, Watches,
Repairing in all its . flail orders promptly
Branches.- m attended to.--
M. O, Barnes,
Jeweler and Optician,
Ictor Lodge, Number 10, Knights of
Meets every Tuesday evening at 8
o'clock, at Bell's hall. Visiting members
in the city cordially invited to attend. ,.
C A. Rankin. 0. C.
J. T. O. Stewart, K. of R. and S
buys it at the
, STOCK or
Gold Jewelry, 1 sS
Tho Herald has the best Job Office
in western Nebraska, and turns out
the-best work". 7'- . '
.'"r"A, r-f . f-s . .. . j.
i-ook at mat -underwear window, at
Norton's. It's a fine selection.
. .- !