Newspaper Page Text
The Guardian of the Firm's Exche-
-juer heard us Fnorzin this morning.
iorry, ho 8aid, "but you'll have to
.;ail it a summer cold instead of hay
ever. The bank balance won't permit
-mother vacation for you this sum
Tier." And, honestly, two U all we
Since that intimation, there has
'een no joy in sneezing. What's the
.ise of having an aristocratic disease
.mless you can support it in the style
o which it's accustomed?
Handkerchief figures: Thursday,
r.ino; Friday, six; Saturday, eiht;
Sunday, ten (one mislaid and another
Iropped in the mud); Monday, eiRht;
Tuesday, so far, four. Friday's total
s theyecord, we believe, for Box Butte
larry Highland pointed out a
Bridgeport man to us. "That fellow,"
'ie said, "has an infallible system for
uyinp or making hooch. They tell
ne that he takes a sample of the stuir
n a one-ounce bottle, shakes it well
tnd then measures the mule-power,
!y counting the bubbles.''
Ain't It the Truth?
Thfw's so much blues in the East of
.'nd so much booze in the et of V,
That it hardly behooves any of U. S.
To talk about the rest of V. S.
THE ALLIANCE, HERALD, TUESDAY, AUGUST 23, 1921.
What k no rare as a nose in bloom,
.i.-ks one o'T cur modern poets.
A Danish peasant has ju.-t loucrht A
motor car from a country lawyer for
MO chickens. That may be a Rood
trade in Denmark, but we shall go
ii!;ht on with our great national out
door sport of buying cars for chicki-ns
rather than with them, says Sugar
An exchange says that the .-tatuto'
that makes it a crime to Hive awav
'iquor is only another one of those fool
,aws which prohibits what nobody
vants to do.
TodayV Best Storv.
Clay Harry tells us this .-torv, which
happened, he says, durintr his trip to
vJmana a week or so airo. lie was at
rending a show and he took pains to
reli us that the Gaiety wouldn t open
until September 1, so this performance
must have been at the Orpheum. At
my rate, one of the acts was a ladv
.singer, and she had a remarkable
oice. She sung a couple of sono
and the audience irave her a hand, and
nack she came with a better son? than
'he first time. I he crowd w as enthu
.-iastic, and they continued to give her
ncore after encore, and she responded
ith simply mapnificent music, until
-he simply had to beg her hearers to
tet her rest After the last son or. Clav
heard a couple of women in front of
jnim talking. One of them said,
'"' Hasn t she a wonderful repertoire?"
And the other responded, "She cer
tainly has but she dresses so that it
loesn't show so very much."
Some of these days, Scott-bluff will
vank with the regular cities. They are
working for a Carnegie library now,
nnd say they are over the top in the
lrive for funds. After they get the
library, all they will need is a welfare
A new acquaintance was telling us
if his first case of ptomaine poisoning.
He had been whooping 'er up for only
five or ten minutes, when his father
reproached him for being intoxicated
The two men in the shop who start
ted out to quit smoking have gone
without the solace of the weed for
three weeks now. Maybe they can
jit, after all.
Our suspicions are confirmed. The
printers devil has a new haircut, in
addition to the new necktie. The
transformation comes a little late in
the season, but it ought to be effective.
Now, if we can only persuade Romeo
to get a real haircut, the back room
'ill look real civilized.
If you see some fellow peeping into
your window during the night-time,
the thin? to do is to shoot first and
inquire into his identity afterward.
It may be true that if a man is
lrunk drunk enough to convince the
iistrict judjre he may not recall
everything that he has done. How
ever, it's a safe bet that if you gave
him a good beating for something he
lid while intoxicated, he might get
pretty drunk, but he'd never be so
.soused again that he wouldn't remem
ber why he got beat up, and remem
ber not to repeat the offense. It's a
remedy worth trying, anyway.
There was a man
And all his life
He'd worked in a shipyard
And he had a baby
And it was going to be christened
And for a week
He couldn't sleep night
Because he was worried
For fear the minister
Would hurt the baby
When he hit it with the bottle.
Fore River Log.
An Alliance young lady was discus
sing one of her gentlemen friends
with an acquaintance. "But," said
the friend, "do you think you and he
are suited to each other?" "Oh, per
fectly," was the reply. "Our tastes
are quite similar. I don't care very
much for him and he doesn't care very
. much for me."
Hints for Fishermen
No fish of ordinary intelligence will
.ite before four a. m. nor after six a.
m except when he chooses.
Angle worms will be found to go
.fleeper into the earth during dry
weather and still deeper in drier
the tackle and the num
ber of fish caught vary in inverse
Some fish like live minnows, others
refer to be hooked with an artinci&l
rog, and I have known some who ex
pressed "a desire for their own kind
chopped in squares.
Any woman would rather die than
bait a hook. Others don't mind it at
all except that they cannot bear to
touch any sort of bug or worm.
All angle worms should be put on
the hook head first. To determine
which end is the head, place the worm
on th ground and hold out a piece of
ham or a dish of com flakes. The end
moving toward you is the head. If the
worm doo not
, " " fiii mat
he dot sn t care for that particular food
or else that he himself is confused as
10 wmcn end is his heed.
Takinff n landing net nr n fi.lt n.til
precludes the possibility of catching
any fish. The idea is 'that fish l ite
best w hen least expected. Some have ,
oern Known to jump into the boat
while the angler was taking a nap.
ine sie oi tisn which pot away is'
show n by placing the hands at a dis-'
tance apart equal to the lenpth of the
Those unable to swim hoidd .-.void !
upset tintr the boat.
cannot breathe under water.
One pound of ruisins, one pound of
sup-ar, two yeast cakes, five gallon- of
water. Let stand ninety day.-. I.il'e.
Somebody is always taking the joy
out of life. A valued sub.-enber wants
us to Rontly inquire why it i- that
Cheyenne avenue is aiways the i'ir.t
street to be dragged.
The chance.- ale, however, that the
city authorities won't be any more
worried over the charge than the coun
ty commissioners are when accused of,
Mrs. Brus and son were Alliance
Mr. and Mrs. Kilpalriek and Mr.
Bank- motored up to the Wnrley place
Mrs. Klsea and Jean spent Sunday
at the L'aton hay camp.
Mr. and Mrs. Charles Hall and son,
Jay and wife motored to Alliance Fri
day. Mrs. C. Hall left for Ohio for an
extended visit with her si-ter and
Mrs. Ferguson rode to town with
(he mail man Wednesday for a few
The ducks are coming in fast now
and some are going on sojth. A good
sign of an early iiost.
i'rof. Hot!, who has been spending
his summer vacation on the Black
root ratfth, will leave soon for Kansas,
where he will teach this winter.
Mr. Banks drove up to Flsea's Fri
day morning in the Ford.
Mrs. Butler's sister is not improving
very fast, so we hear.
Mr. and Mrs. James Katon and son
motored to Alliance Thursday after
noon. They were accompanied by Kd
Mr. and Mrs. Everett Cook were out
to their ranch Thursday afternoon
looking over the crops.
Mr. and Mrs. Clarence Kilpatrick
motored to Alliance Friday.
Mrs. Jay Hall is expecting her
mother and father from Lincoln this
Print Kane was a caller at Peter
son's Friday morning.
Mr. Banks was a business caller at
Alliance Wednesday. He was accom
panied by Lee Moore. Lee has his
leg out of the cast now and it is doing
Al Hall and family are staying at
his father's place, while Mrs. Hall is
gone. Miss Nichols is assisting with
Bureau of Markets
to Potato Growers
A bulletin containing data on mar
ket grades and standards for Ne
braska potatoes has been issued by
the state agriculture department. In
addition to the fancy No. 1 and No.
2 grades recognized under federal
regulations, the state law also pro
vides for an "Early Nebraska" grade,
produced in the district around Kear
ney. It is these "Early Nebraska" po
tatoes which have recently brought top
prices on the Chicago market ami else
where. The bulletin tells growers and
shippers that "vegetables, like fruit,
sell largely on their appearance," and
it sii'-Tge.-ts that proper grading and
handling makes them doubly atti ac
tive to duvets. The appended .-mr-pestions
are made as tending to in
crea-e the market value of tuber.-:
I. Avoid dipping in wi t weather.
'J. Bun the digger m to cut lneenth
the row and not through. t.
,'. Allow potatoes to sun-dry
fete pick in p.
t. Um every po-t-dhle means ta
liver to car without brusing.
f. Kemember that potatoes
living organisms utmost ns tender
. Siz and rrade thoroughly.
7. Be sure that the car is cle m;
.-alt on the floor is very injurious t$
S. Potatoes in any type of contain
er .hould be loaded into the car
securely to prevent loss and damage.
i. Id at or ventilate the car accotd
ing to weather conditions.
10. When box cars are used during
the season of cold weather, Make
sure that they are properly lined, that
heat is provided and that an attendant
accosijp: mies the car.
11. The whole aim of the producer
should be to deliver his product in a
condition as nearly perfect as pos
sible for the price is governed by 'he
quality and condition of the shipment
on arrival at point of destination.
1'or a real drink, try ORANGE
Nil, out of the ball at Smith's Soda
Fountain. 7 It!
Purine experts figure that it cn.-fs
21.1 cents to produce a gallon of milk
and most of us city folks had suppo.-ed
that the cows give it
REAL ESTATE TRANSFERS
Filed for the week ending August
N. P. Dodge Jr. and wife to Guy
Ward for $140. Lot 225, Belmont ad
L.aura i tiuuson ior $3,ou", is i-z lai
5, All Lot 4 Block 6. Second County
N. P. Dodge Jr. and wife to Emmett
C. Drake for $185, Lot 203, Belmont. I
N. P. Dodge Jr. and wife to Mrs.'
Justine Rohrbach for $1C5, Lots 1C9, ;
1(0 Belmont Addition.
When salesmen build a business.
you can't tell whether it is sound un
til the credit department has billed
Ewe Yu ordered (fc&h
Your Coal? Axsy
Take This Tip
Do you realize that in a
few weeks Winter will be
here? Glad to hear it?
Yes if you're prepared
to meet it if you have a
nice warm home and office,
with plenty of Coal in the
Now is the time to lay in
a supply when you can get
delivery and the price is
surely as low, if not lower
than it will be again this
Dierks Lbr. & Coal Co.
Fred Hargarten, Mgr.
Spend This Vacation in
Estes Park, Colorado
The charm of this place is not to be cata
loguedmerely to breathe in the rare air.
scented with the rich pine odor, is a healing
delight, brings glow to the cheek and sparkle
to the eye. Take the family!
There, amid the peaceful beauty of its flower-crowded
valleys and sun-lit peaks, its
laughing waterfalls and virgin forests, you
can settle down for a few blissful weeks, to do
just as fancy dictates ride, climb, fish, golf,
tennis, rest or just loaf to your heart's con
tent. On your return, stop off and enjoy Colo
rado's numerous, varied and inexpensive side
trips to Colorado Springs, Manitou, Colo- .
rado Glaciers, Denver's Mountain Parks,
Grand Iake, et al.
Don't delay too long the matter of making
arrangements for accommodations and be dis
appointed. If I can help you, let me know.
w nen you are ready to start the Barlingtu
will take you there.
II. L. ORMSEY
"Flying Pat." with Vivacious Doro
thy dish supplying the fun, is the at-1
traction tonight at the Imperial. Miss j
(!ish is cast as the newly nc)uired!
wife of a serious-minded young avia-1
tor, now engaged in the peace-time oc
cupation of manufacturing airplanes.
He in.-i.-ts that his wife be more than
merely mi. tress of her kitchen and
that she seek indpendent "career." So
he decides to I), come a ladv aviator
and accept.- the offer of her husband's
handsome superintendent to instruct
her in flying. A crash in the air is
followed by a domestic smash at home,
and the disillusioned bride leaves for
the cold, cold world. Then, thinking
revenge will be sweeter in her own
kitchen, she supplants her cook, unbe
known to her husband. After a hu
morous climax, there is the inevitable
Wednesday's feature Is "A Slave f f
loves him. Also, she is loved by th
richest banker in London but dos aot
return his affection. In a series f
pleasant surprises she i able to oJv
the riddle herself, but this is the triclR
of the picture.
"Cynfhia-of-the-Minute", . the tit!
of a regular thriller, scheduled tor
Thursday. I,eah Haird is the star, ami
the play Is taken from Louis Jnwnh
V ti Tta tiAi1 T1mwa
r.v...,,.K uu.M.r- r,n,n., on, imevps and ship scuttlers and)
who has the part of a widow of social other delightfully intriguing thihrs in.
position and wraith, whose late hu i-, the plot,
band's will demands she remain .dngle
or sacrilce both money and position.! A psychopathic report says the ma.
It is a big problem, because a young jority of highwaymen are mentally
man who has plenty of talent but no defective. And al'l of the victims ar
money, has come into her life and she financially unbalanced.
t .. -A. ' J
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ir- !.i'J;.- -rY: ' 'SjyfeYr.-.til V
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Class Koom, l'lutte Valley Commercial College.
There's a Place in the
Business World for You
Good salaries, pleasant work, and unusual chances for advancement
await the graduates of this business school.
Trained young people are always in demand and the recommendation
of this well-known school will make you welcome wherever our name is
In preparing for work as banker, bookkeeper, accountant, typist, sec
retary or salesman you should assure yourself that you are getting the
most practical and useful instruction. Our special individual plan of in
struction has always proven successful.
Your class-work also in this institution will be the equivalent of years
of actual office experience, because we plan your lessons so that they follow
actual modern business practice in every particular.
We want to help you to GET AHEAD IN BUSINESS. We want you
to know more about how we can help you. Then, it is your duty to call or
write for information.
Platte Valley Commercial
"The School That's Making Scottsbluff Famous."
M. J. EDWARDS, A. R,
M. Accts. President.
TUE UNIVERSAL CAR
To the business man, retail or wholesale; to the manufacturer; to the commit
kwi man; to the trucking company, the Ford Model T One Ton Truck makes
an irresistible appeal because it has in its chassis all the merits of the original
Ford car; the wonderful Ford Model T Motor, the dependable Vanadium steel
chassis, 'and the manganese bronze worm-drive. A strongly built truck that
serves satisfactorily and lasts in service If these statements were not truer
the demand for Ford Trucks wouldn't be so constantly on the increase. We .
will be pleased to take your order for one or more Ford Trucks, will see that you
get reasonably prompt delivery, and will give you an after service that insures
the constant service of the Truck. But don't wait too long. Get your ordev
Coursey & Miller