Newspaper Page Text
A MATRIMONIAL JOKE
other things, that when on Friday "a
wild-eyed, hagcard, foreign-looking an
of thirty-nvu burst into ihe sanctum,
with a n.iTier in his hand. Fml looker!
Tlie Tlossville News was a hrlgnt , up scrL.noj thcn recognized, With an
and sprightly paper, but it was not so appalling thrill, that it was the Cuban,
successful as to afford to pay for the from the photograph the latter had
The editor had just gone out to talce
FOE YOUNG- PEOPLE.
IVTEKESTIXG UEADIXG I'OU HOYS
news regularly furnishetl by the Press
Association, and as a rule, the shears
viiil with the reportorial pencil in till
ins out its columns.
some liquid refreshment with a big
advertiser, who had congressional as
pirations, and probably would not be
It had bnt one reporter, yet a more , tu c.w..
ii uju out i . that lip h;id lQ face hls QWQ partiCUiar
rn-'n!!!' irrnnssiljle. self-satisned ..i
The Xnt shell Princess, an Intorot
in? Fniry Story Tlit Snsacions
Turtle II ilit t L,:isl Uu Evcu
energetic, irrepressible, self-satisfied
newspaper man than Fred Stokes sel- J
dom existed. In a dearth of news, j
when the town was wretchedly dull. ,
he could fall back upon the reportorial !
imagination, evolving from airy noth-
ings, a succession of rumors and prog-
nostications with an unfailing shrewd- j
-ness that verged upon, yet never over- !
stepped, the dim line of probability. i
When not chasing the festive it'-m, or ,
"Itossville News ees it here?" asked
the stranger in a somber tone.
"Well -a I'm not sure." Fred hesi
tated whether to frankly own up or
"E et must be. I was so told. Senor
have you se zatV"
lie pointed to the notice in the paper
ho held and watched Fred anxiously.
"Zat zat " His voice was pro
foundly melancholy. "Oh. senor! 1
im lo1;iTt I am inconsolable, I no
00 , " iV. -. i i. i s .. A one know I here. Will you-so kindly
woum assist ms euiiunw niivi m me ,
latter's onerous task. He would con
coct poetic and taking advertisements; ,
extract tlie pith of some great metro- 1
politan editor's opinion on the tariff,
and the other "burning issues" of the
day; and all this in addition to other
Often would the editor remove his
cigar, elevate his legs. and. as the blue J
smoke curled upward, reward his satel
lite with a jovial nod of approval, and
"Fred, nie hoy. next to meself, 1he
News would be lost without ye."" j
Tlie editor's ancestral lluid was of
an Irish tincture, and a slight suspicion
of brogue often intruded itself upon his
tongue when the editor grew interest
ed. "I'm indebted to ye, nnd if ever ye
get into a toight place, call upon your
chief. Gratitude, me son a ahem!
Here's that acennnt of young Shurt
lefTs marriage. Very tony affair, that;
we must give it at least a column, with
a well displayed heading.
""Look here, sir." said Fred, after
one of these pleasant interjectional col
loquies with his chief, "hero's a matri
monial ad in the New York Herald for
a wiffl: '"Wealthy Cuban" rich pre
framahly unsophisticated- "without ac- :
quaintances in this country, wants a
wife. She must be young, handsome,
refined, and so on. Money not essen-
tial. Address. Zanaga. New York Her- i
aid. in confidence.' I believe I'll an- j
swer it huge joke, you seeV" t
Here the editor looked dubious.
"Perhaps we can work up something j
stunning out of this for the News. '
"Who knows?" i
The editor brightened, enthusiast!- i
"Koiglit you are." said he. "But it ,
will take exceedingly ndroit manipula- .
tion, me boy."
Fred considered the matter, and then '
indicated a modest reply, in a flowing J
feminine hand, signing himself (the de-
?eltful rascal) ".Miss Nellie .Tardine."
The editor read it with admiration.
"A roight tender and circumspect re- '
Tily. Jt wouldn't surprise me. now, if
ye -weren't born novelist after all." j
'So Fred posted his letter, then care- !
lessly waited further developments. ,
In due time came u reply. Our Cuban i
expressed his surprise and pleasure at j
Hearing so assiirmgly from Miss Nellie
Jardine. and said that, out of about for
ty answer, hers was the one that pleas
ed him most.
She alone, he continued, with tropical
ardor, was the one woman for him.
He felt it. his heart told him so. and
thus on. through several pages of blind
infatuity. He concluded by hoping,
praying, imploring that she" would at
"trace reply and exchange photographs
with her .adoring slave,
I to take me to the grave i
resting place, senor?"
Fred hero suddenly felt an inspiration
that lent him a glimpse of rescue. Only
two (lays before, in the little village
cemeterv, a new grave iiad been made.
A member of a family little known.
:tnd recently arrived at Kossville. had
died and been buried there.
Whv not take the man there, and
leave "him alone with his sorrow? Then
Fred could have a little time to devise
some method of escaping from him.
He arose, with an amiable and sympa
Certainly sir." he said, reaching for
his hat. "Come with me. It was a
most melancholy event, and. as you
seem interested. I see no harm in
showing you the grave of our esteemed
young neighbor a lovely girl she was,
The stranger grasped Freds hand,
wrung it feverishly, and prepared to
follow him. He told the office-boy that
he would not be back for an hour, and
then the two men sallied forth down
a back street. Fred did not wish to
meet acquaintances just then. After
a while, they came out on a pleasant
road, that led to the cemetery. Arriv
ing there, he pointed out the way to
"No trouble in finding it. sir: it's the
only new one. You will want to be
alone, and should you wish to leave
a place connected with such sad mem
ories at once, there's a New York train
at four-fifteen. Good day."
Fred was off like a sky-rocket half
determined to pack his worldly goods
and go and see his mother, whom he
had not visited for two years. But,
on his return to the office, the editor
was a waiting him with a telegram in
"Look here." said his chief. "I've got
to leave you in live minutes. I have
urgent business in Washington, to use
mv influence in securing an appoint
ment for my friend Dunleary, and he
and I have to go there at once and see
about it. I'll be back in two days;
not a word now: I trust you as I do
myself. You can run things.
So the editor departed with a rnsh,
giving Fred hardly time to open his
mouth. He felt desperate. That mad
and melancholv Cuban would be back,
asking troublesome questions, and any
one might drop in. He shuddered at
the thought of the direful possibilities
But the afternoon wore off. and the
Cuban did not return. Fred breathed
easier; perhaps the fellow had really
taken the New York train. When he
locked tip his office and started upon
his evening walk, his fears had flown.
He felt exultant, and a bright smile
illuminated his face as he thought of
There was once a fair princess who
lived in a nut-shell. Of course this
was a very strange place for a princess
to live, but then she was a nut-shell
princess, which made all the difference
in the world.
The nut-shell grew upon a tree, and
it grew there and stayed there all the
year around. This was because it was
the home of a fairy princess, and she
needed it all the year around to live
One day the princess came to the
door of her house, which means, of
course, that she opened the side of
her nut-shell, and looked about her.
It was a clear summer day. The grass
! aau Mm
k "Bedad." 'sir." laid the editor,- "you f :the ild-eyed-Cubau and his Imaginary
are in for it I behold airondv thA
consummation. Ye'll be donning petti
coats next, and the Tonortorial denarf-
meut of the News will feel an aching
void. 'that is, when you're off to visit
this Cuban in New York, me bov."
Several letters on either side were
-sent, and photographs exchanged. Fred .
sending that of an extremely pretty
girl ne had met at Cape May one sum
Uicr. He was beginning, however to
tire-of the tender monotony, whoa, one 1
day. he laid upon the editor's desk a ,
neat package, which, on being opened, ,
disclosed a pair of ear-rings and a !
brooch set with garnet and pearls. The ;
editor examined them critically. Fred
j-teomcd mure dismayed than amused.
"They're worth three hundred dollars. :
me boy if they're genuine. AVhat dees '
the "fellow say about them?"
"Why. it's a present, he says, and i
lunts of more to come, and that we i
must arrai.ge for a meeting -all this ,
wjjh the wildest protestations of eter- '
nal love and fidelity. Hang it! this is
getting serious. I never thought the
Jool would go-so far."
''"Write him that the sudden death of ,
one of your uncles, cousins or aunts.
calls you off to San Francisco insrantly.
me "boy. Hint of great riches falling
your way. of a family -mystery impos- ;
ing silence. Tell him to possess his
soul In patience, and that he will hear
from you in a month or so. Then you I
can return his confounded jewelry, and
oreaK up tlie affair somehow any
how." The editor felt sagacious, yet his
conclusion wan misty, too misty it seem
ed, when, two days later. Fred rushed
into the sanctum with an open letter
in his hand, his .eyes dilated, and his
"Sir!" he said. Tin ruined! :1 must
He turned down a grassy lane, war
which stood a house seclusively shel
tered by shrubberies and trees. From
the front gate a man and woman came
forth, and walked toward him arm in
arm. His fears suddenly revived as he
recognized the Cuban again.
The other was a lovely lady in deep
mourning. Imagine his surprise when
the man greeted him joyfully, ecstati
cally, all his former dejection gone,
and his face wreathed in smiles.
"Ah. my friend." said the Cuban,
"you have saved my life and restored
my happiness. Senor. 1 cannot tell
how much to you I owe?? Yon send nie
to that grave and there what do I find?
1 see there, alive, and well, my old,
old love, from whom I long separate
for years. 1 foiget my new grief. I
go there sad. I come away rejoicing;
and to von. sen.ir. I owe all of zat yes
- all -ail!"
Explanations ensued, during which
the Cuban introduced his companion.
It appeared that live years before, in
Cuba, he had wooed and won the
daughter of a prominent patriot leader
of the island. After a time, a price
was set upon that chieftian's head by
the Spanish authorities, and he and his
family suddenlj- disappeared, while
our Cuban was away in Florida on
, business. On the latter's return, he
! could find no trace of them, and after
months of fruitless waiting, he gave up
all hope of ever again seeing his af-
Years passed. He came to New
j York and began to think of marriage
' again. Hence the advertisement, and
the cruel practical poke, that had, after
all. resulted so happily. The grave to
which Fred had sent him was really
I that of a brother of the lady now by
-- ,V1 "
Slit" AVn SvrinBliifc n n Hotiuli.
eras green, the trees were "n full leaf,
and the birds ang through the wood.
The princess stepped out upon the
branch of a tree and lightly lifted up
her arms, and as -she did she grew
taller, until she 'must have been at
least twelve inches high as she bal
anced herself on the branch of the oak
tree. This was a little way the prin
cess had. Now. just about this time
a little boy in the nearest village was
sent by his mother on an errand. He
did not like to go -after the manner of
little boys. The way was long. Be
sides leading through the wood where
the Princess lived it began over a
mill-stream and down a long lane. The
little boy, whose name was Max, shook
himself and said:
"I'm afraid there are wolves in the
"You have been there often before,"
said his mother, "and the wolves never
hurt good boys."
"The sun is very hot and I have a
lame leg," insisted Max.
"You can go slowly," replied his
mother, "and here is a little cake to eat
on the road."
Then Max felt ashamed, but he still
"The sun is hot, and my foot does
hurt me and there are wolves in the
His mother was busy, so she only
-shook her head at him. Then Max,
feeling both ashamed: and angry,, was
obliged to start He trudged along. The
foot did hurt him a little, so he went
slowly. But he knew that he would
get tiiere in an hour or two. ami he
lelt the little cake his mother had
slipped into his pocket and said to him
self: "After all, mother gives me so much."
Then his foot felt better, and pres
ently he forgot it and went along sing
ing, and so he crossed over the mill
stream. Then the sun grew hot. and it grew
very uncomfortable in the long lane
which he had next to pass.
Jt is horrible to go of errands,
He became so warm that he took off
his jacket with a jerk, meaning to carry
it over his arm. As he did so he felt
in his pocket the little cake his mother
had put there. And he grew again
.ashamed of his anger.
"After all." he said to himself, "moth
er always tries to make things easier,
and she always thinks of something
nice to do for me."
And just then the sun began to go
behind a cloud and the lane seemed to
grow cooler and more interesting: and
as he walked along, with his jacket
on his arm. Max smiled o'er ;he pleas
ant thoughts that began to pass
thiough his brain. He went along
quickly and ho entered the forest be
fore he realized that th lane nid come
to an .end. But the woods seemed dark
and gloomy to the little boy. The trees
were tall and shut out the light; it
seemed cold after the bright lane. He
thought he heard a wolf growl and .he
"I sun .truly .afraid," :he th aught -to
felt there was nothing but the llttJ
cake his mother had put there that
morning. But he thought to himself:
"My mother always gives me all that
she can. That is because she loves
me. And if she docs she would not
send me to any place that Avas truly
dangerous. 1 am foolish to be coward
Iv. If I got through the rest of the
way. 1 certainly can get through this!"
And as he looked about a fairy-like
perfume floated up from the flowers
at his feet. The branches of the trees
overhead swayed back and forth, and
; gleams of the sun snone tnrougu anu
j brightened the air around him. And he
I thought he almost felt a hand like his
; mother's smooth back his hair.
"Why. it is beautiful in the woods!"
! cried the little boy. He ran lightly
; along. The little nut-shell fairy floated
i ale ng beside him. although ho never
saw her. And as he went there were
1 sharp, gleaming eyes that watched him
through the thicket, but the eyes were
so sharp that they saw, also, the fairy
i that kept beside Max, and at sight of
: he they shrank back in fright. No
matter how strauge the eyes that
, watch or cruel the mouth beneath
I them, they are powerless before any
one whom this wonueriui tairy prin
cess has taken under her protection.
So Max knew nothing. He ate his
cake as he ran. He did his errand. A
kind neighbor took him all the way
home in his wagon. Only as he went to
bed that night Max whispered to his
"I'm glad you gave me that little
cake to-day. mother!"
But his mother was so busy that sho
forgot to ask him why.
Disarmed by "Whlii-lasli.
One of the dangers which menaced
travelers in the early history of Califor
nia was an attack by highwaymen.
i An old stage-driver who drove over
j a part of the long line between San
, Jose and Los Angeles relates an inter-
esting incident of those early days. He
j 1 remember once in a lonely coast
I range canon, through which the road
j wound, we had a little experience that
i was thrilling for the moment. It was
; a moonlight night, and I was pushing
i ahead at a good speed, with a stage lull
of passengers anu a ncavy treasure
hox. .lust as I got around a bend in the
road 1 saw the figure of a man on
horseback beside the road. He yelled
out for us to stop, and I saw a gun
barrel gleam in the moonlight.
The horses wcro going at a speed
that might be called break-neck, and I
made up my mind to take the chances
of getling through. I saw the gun
raised to the fellow's shoulder as we
approached. T had my long whip in
my hand, and "iith a desperation born
of tlie peril of the moment, I made a
-vicious swipe at him.
I don't know how it happened, but
the lash Avound itself around the gun,
and as we dashed by the whip was
drawn taut. I was nearly pulled off
my seat, but 1 held on, and the gun
was dragged out of the robber's hand
and fell to the ground. At the same
moment it was discharged by the
It rattled along the, road for some dis
tance before the whip-lash unwound
itself. 1 don't know what the high
wayman thought, but I'll wager he
"It was a novel acc-i.lent, with a novel
sequel, that befell A Iiniral Home dur
ing the war. with China in 1S42. He
had dined on flne of thoshjje ,ot the
fleet, and 'when he came ".to 'return to
his own ship the tide was running so
strongly that his men could not pull
against it and he was compelled to take
refuge for the night in the frigate Dido.
When getting out of his cockle-shell
boat he made a false step, and as he
was large and heavy the boat tilted
over, and in an instant he and his crew
were struggling in the water.
The admiral luckily seized a rope
which hung over the side of the ship.
Five of the men seized hold of his legs,
and there they hung, shouting lustily
for help till they were drawn in by the
Dido's crew. The admiral, pretty well
exhausted, was put to bed. with a hot
drink, and soon dropped asleep, after
giving directions to be called early.
At the stated hour the officer of the
watch roused the admiral, who. still
dreaming of drowning and other hor
rors, drowsily asked. "Who's there?"
"Death," was the reply.
It was startling, and the admiral
looked out of his cot expecting to see
a skeleton or some other ghastly ob
ject: but now fully awake, and perceiv
ing only a very gentlemanlike young
man standing close to him, he ob
"It is very singular. T thought I was
told that death was before me."
"And so he is." answered the young
officer. "My name is Death, and 1
have come to tell you that the tide has
leaTe. obliterate mvself, and the News i his -side. He met her there in tears
will have to get another man. Head , over her own family bereavement,
that" 1 They recognized each other. She had
He dashed the letter .down upon "the ' remained true to him. and she was his
desk, and fell to gnawing his nails first love. 'Jneir grler was cnangea to
nervously. The editor looked up won- Joy.:anu ne weni iiome wiui u.
derlngly, then read the note. After
a few passionate devotional interjec
strange family spoken of was hers, and
far 'political reasons, they were living
tions. it wound up by stating that the in Hossville under an assumed name.
devoted and impulsive lover would; visit
Rossville on the following Friday m
see his "adored one." his "queen."
"Isn't this something like a predica
ment.-' exclaimed Fred, as his chief
They 'had renewed their troth, and.
in his happiness, the mystery of Miss
Nellie Jardine was not again alluded
to by him. Perhaps he had not wanted
his first sweetheart to know. Fred
sat tannin-' the srm nf tda itnn'ni . himself was onlv too glad to drop the
chair with his pencil, and his eves fixed 'subject. He left them well on toward
reflectingly upon his assistant. "Can the seventh heaven, but learned in a
you make me an advance of fiftv dol
lars? I'll get Meigs to take my place
and flee to the Adirondacks or some
pathless wilderness for a while, until
this infatuated foreigner recovers his
"Fred, me boy," said the editor, sage
ly, "I know a trick worth two of that.
Write me a touching obituary, notice
of Miss Nellie Jardine's very sudden
- demise. A congestive chill, spinal men
ingitis; anything of that sort will do.
We'll just insert that little notice, and
have one copy struck off.
"Have it marked, and sent to that
poor fool of a Cuban, together with the
jewelry he has sent, and, presto, my
boy! you are out of the whole affair
in no time. We won't need Meigs then;
he's a dunderhead; and you can still
go on with your work."
Fred, though at first doubtful, fell in
with this idea, and the programme was
fully carried out.
The announcement, beginning "Sud
den death of an estimable young lady,"
was really quite pathetic, and so tick
led Fred's fancy that his nervousness
vanished as "Wednesday and Thuniay
passed. He became bo absorbed In
few days, that the whole family to
gether with the Cuban, had left Boss
ville for parts unknown.
"Twas a very queer little episode,"
said the editor, upon his return. "But
1 can't see that it brings any grist to
the News, unless ye write it all up.
Ye owe the paper that much, nie boy,
and me too. bedad."
rimh in Dry-DocU.
Hundreds of German silver earp
were discovered in the bottom of the
League Island Navy-Yard's dry-dock
last week after the floating out of the
ship Richmond. Over a thousand
pounds of these .fish were given away
by the officers in charge, and at least
a thousand pounds were left without
takers. Some time ago a breeding pool
was established within the Navy-yard
grounds., and since then the fish have
multiplied with astonishing rapidity.
The Delaware river front, between Lea
gue Island and Port Richmond, espec
ially la the vicinity of the sugar refin
eries, is alive with the fish, which are
caught in traps and nets by the bushel.
They retail alive at 3 1-2 cents per
Gloivinjj ryes Wntched Them.
himself, "and 1 can't go a step fur
ther." Now, the nut-shell princess tooc"
upon a branch of her tree not far off.
although the little boy did not see her,
for no on- c.'.a see such tiny princesses
as tin... until they learn to have two
sets of eyes, and this little boy had not
his second set yet. But because the
princess could make herself so tiny,
as well as invisible, if she wished, and
transport herself to any place if she
wished to go, she could creep into the
tiniest places and do the strangest
things you ever heard df. Tlie she
saw the little boy stop short. She
knew what was the reason. So she
suddenly grew very small, and. she
floated lightly along on a little breeze
that happened to be sear, and as jshe
passed the little boy she whispered
softly In his ear:
"Feel in your pocket!"
And the little boy felt, and what he
. A Xesrcml of 'fle :I:inny:.
All pansy lovers are fond of com
1 paring the flower to human faces which
seem to look at them with love and
; -sympathy. Another pretty fancy in
regard to this tiower is current among
French and German children. The
Household Magazine gives this.'version
of it: The tiower has five petals and
five sepals. In most pansies, especial
ly of the earlier and less highly de
veloped varieties, two of the petals
are plain in color, and three are gay.
"Tlie two plain petals liave a single Be
lial, two -of the -gay petals have a -sepal
each, and the third, which is the
largest -of all, has two sepals. The
fable is that the pansy represents a
family, oonsisting of husband nd wife
and four daughters, two of the latter
being step-cliildren, with only one
chair; the two small, gay petals are
the daughters, with a chair each, and
the large gay petal is the wife, with
two chairs. To find the father one
must strip away the petals until the
stamens and pistils are bare. They
have a fanciful resemblance to an old
man with a flannel wrap about his
' neck, his shoulders upraised and his
feet in a bath-tub. The story is prob
! ably of French origin, because the
French call the pansy the step-mother.
A Beautiful Tiling.
The lady in her elecrant victoria
drove up to tlie great dry goods store,
and. stepping daintily out, she walked
into the busy place. Approaching a
weary looking girl at one of the conn- ;
tcrs, she said: '
"What time do you get off duty?"
"Usually at G, madam," replied the
astonished girl, "but to day at 5 "
"Don't von get verv tired working so
"Yes, madam, but I must work or
"Well, will you let me take you for
a drive of an hour after you are
through to-day? I'm sure it will do
The girl, knowing the wealth and so
cial position of the lady, blushed with
'pleasure and she was only too glad to
accept the invitation so politely and
kintfly extended, and the lady, with a
cheery smile and bow, walked out
Then the man who dreamed this
woke up and wondered how the mis
chief people could dream such improb
able and ridiculous things. Detroit
Perfection in CaUo-AIaklng:.
Housekeepers frequently wonder
why it is that they cannot make bis
cuit and cake that arc light and palat
able and that taste as delicious as the
biscuit and cake made by their mothers
and grandmothers, the delightful
memory of which even to this day
creates a sensation of pleasure to the
palate. The trouble arises from the
highly adulterated state of the ma
terials they have to work with, par
ticularly the cream-of-tartar and soda
used to raise or leaven the food.
Cream-of-tartar and soda that arc now
procurable for domestic purposes con
tain large quantities of lime, earth,
alum and other adulterants, frequently
from 5 to -'." per cent, and eonscyucntly
vnry so much in strength that no per
J.son can tell the exact quantity to use,
for properly combine them, to insure
perfect results. From using too much
:or too little, or because of the adultcr
'ants in them, bitter, halt, yellow or
ihcavy biscuits or cakes arc frequently
.made. These adulterants are also in
jurious to health.
; All this trouble may be avoided by
'the use of the popular Royal Baking
Powder. Where this preparation is
employed in the place of cream-of-tartar
and soda, its perfect leavening
power always insures light, flaky,
digehtable tiscuit, cakes and pastry,
that arc perfectly wholesome and free
from the impurities invariably present
when the old raising preparations are
The Koyal Baking Powder, we are
informed bv the most reliable scien
tists, is perfectly pure, being made
from highly refined ingredients, care
fully tested, and so exactly propor
tioned and combined that it never fails
to produce the best and uniform result.-.
An additional advantage in its
employment comes from the fact that
bread or other food made with it may
be eaten while hot without fear of in
digestion or any unpleasant results,
while being equally sweet, moist and
grateful to the palate when cold.
As the BroadwaA cable car approach
ed the postotlice a young man sprang
directly in front of it and, waving his
arms, cried: "Now, come on, will
The car struck him squarely in the
.best and threw him ten feet ahead,
jllising quickly, he rushed back at the
ar and was thrown ahead again. He
!was about to make another rush when
h. policeman pulled him from the track.
1 "What's the matter with yer?"
growled the officer. "Off yer head,
"Not at all," replied the young man.
"T'was just getting myself in shapefor
tne football game this afternoon."
A Curious Coincidence.
Not so long since a stoway was found
dead under the main hatch of one of
the National line of steamers, lie had
concealed himself before the steamer
left Liverpool and died of suffocation.
Curiously enough, in his pocket was
found a novel entitled "Doomed on the
Deep." Chicago Times.
UrafiiL-MS Can "t bo Cured
by local applications, as they can not reach
the diseased portion of the ear. There is
only one way to euro Deafness, and that is
by constitutional remedies. Deafne3s is
caused by au inflamed condition of tho
mucous lining of the Eustachian Tube.
When this tubo is inflamed you hnve a
rumbling sound or imperfect hearing, and
when it is entirely closed, Deafness is the
result, and unless tho inflammation can bo
taken out and this tubo restored to its nor
mal condition, hearing will bo destroyed
forever; nine cases out of ten are cnused
by catarrh, which is nothing but nn in
flamed condition of the mucous surfnees.
We will give Ono Hundred Dollars for
any case of Deafness (caused by catarrh)
that can not bo cured by Hall's Catarrh
Cure. Send for circulars.'f ree.
F. J. CHENEY, Toledo, O.
""Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Hall's Family Pills. 2w.
Not Such a DnfTer After All.
Detroit Free Press: "My dear," he
said the other morning. "I think you
were right when you told me last night
there were burglars in the house."
"Why?" she asked nervously.
"Because all the money that was in
my pockets when I went to bed is
"Well, she said, with an I-told-you-so
air, "if you had been brave and got
up and shot tlie wretch, you would
have had j-our money this morning."
"Possibly, my dear, possiblj'," he
said, gingerly, "but then I would have
been a widower."
She laughed softly then, and gave
half of it to him.
TO AU) EMPLOYES.
Highest of all in Leavening 'Power. Latest U. S. Gov't Rcpori
On Even Term.
, Baron Haussmann. the. celebrated
French administrator, who may almost
be said to have made Paris a new city,
used to relate the following anecdote
, by way of illustrating the feeling of
many country gentlemen toward the
One of these gentry entered the pre
fect's office, having some complaint
to make, and proceeded to state his er
rand in a pretty lofty tone and without
taking off his hat. The officer was
equal to the occasion.
"Wait a moment," he said, and he
rang a 'bell. A servant answered the
"Bring me my hat." said the prefect.
The hat was brought, the officer put
it on. and turned to the caller.
"Now.'' said he. "I will hear you.
A NEW SCHEME OF THE W. U
DOUGLAS SHOE CO.
CVU1 Furnish Their Help Tfith Medical
William L. Douglas, tho president of the
world-famed W. 1 Douglas Shoe Co., has
always had a great personal interest in the
army of men and women who inhabit the great
factory at Montcllo during the working hours
of the day. and who make the greatly adver
tised ii shoe.
He is a great believer in the idea that manu
facturers should have this personal interest in
the condition of their employes, and feels that
if the idea is carried out to the extent that is
possible, that it will result ultimately in the
breaking down of the barriers which have been
built up between employers and those whom
they employ, as it would convince the work
"ingmcn that their employers were not their
enemies, as some of them seem to think now.
but their friends, with a desire to do all for
them that was in their power.
Having strong feelings upon this point. It is
only natural that .Mr. Douglas should give the
matter some study and acquaint himself with
the result of the trials of similar plans in other
places. He is satisfied that the scheme be has
originated is a good one, and he has now put it
to practical test.
' He has handed to every person in his employ
and they form a small army a card which
will enable them to secure free medical attend
ance. ' This is a practical Illustration of Mr. Douglas'
idea, and will surely be appreciated by the
hundreds who receive the cards.
. The plan is a Rood one.
Speaking of the W. I Douglas Shoe Co. It
may be said that their factory is the only one
In Brockton where the principle of arbitration
Is recognized and has full sway. Mr. Douglas
f s a Ann believer in the principle and has been
pince the establishment of the state board of
arbitration. He claims that labor troubles
would not be as frequent as they arc if manu
facturers and help would recognize tola great
principle and adopt It.
French Uooks the Clearest. Talklus: Throush a Human Itodr.
Chauvinism has, or at least ought to To talk through the human body, or
have no place in matters of science, , a row ot human bodies, for the nuuw
and althou-h Knglih is the. most prev- , of that, is one of the weirdest of the
?ent language in the world at large, ; electron's feats. If a te ephone wir
,,;,Kc,i in V.. be severed and the two ends be neld by
;,.n,wi n,rt. nf tho a person, one end m each hand, biu i.ir
world, savs the London Globe. There-1 apart, it is quite possible for . .'.o
fore we must acknowledge, with the j vidaals to carry on a confers
Russian and German scientific journals ; rouSn ine oouy ol
that French is the more appropriate for dum as readily and as uisuncti a f
scientific as it is for political congress- the line had been properly connected.
es. Moreover, the "language of di
plomacy." which has been praised for
concealing the thought, is equally
well adapted for revealing it clearly '
and precisely. French memoirs and
text books on science are undoubtedly
the most lucid of all, and English, it .
j. v t. centablc to
uia i ill sinnv tii niir. I i-iii"ii iiiiiiicir
African Lingual l'overty.
Dr. Good, a missionary in the interior
of Africa, says that the poverty of the
The Modern Mother
Has found that her little onc3 are in
proved more by the pleasant laxative,
yrup of Figs, when in need of the
laxative effect of a gentle remedy than,
bv any other, and that it is more ao-
them. Children enjoy it.
and it benefits them. The true remedy.
! Syrup of Figs, is manufactured by the
j California Fig Syrup Co. only.
To Stop Counterfeiting.
A scientist suggests the ttse of an al
native language is a serious hindrance i ov of gold and aluminum. for the mak-
to missionary effort. In the lJule. Ian- ,njr Gf money. He says that counter
gpage, for instance, there is no word t fcitiag would be almost impossible, as.
for "thank's" or "thanksgiving.' "To the only alloy which can be made suc
believe," "to trust," "to have faith" ! oesafully consists of seventy-eight parts,
are all expressed by the same verb to 0f gold and twenty-two of aluminum..
which there is no corresponding noun, i 'n, product is said to be of a beautiful
There is no word for "spirit." The purple color, with ruby retlcctionr that
Utile have always believed in an invis- cannot be imitated.
lble God, but thev have never given j -
such a being a name. With the Utile a . . Piso's Remedy for Catarrh is the bet me.H
living man has a bodv and a shadow- ;' 'r th1,lls.,sl HSTJS U1 L"
the literal shape cast by the living per- Jon, Iola, lexas, Juneth, 11.
son which at'dcath leaves the body ! '-ie SCCne of Rudyard I'ipling's firste
and becomes a disembodied spirit with j AmCrican storv. which is to anoear hi.
a new name which cannot be used to . ' , , ,,",.
I 111; uccuiuuui iiuui w.hj tufcti., ,
is laid in Vermont, and all of the dra
matis persona; are horses. The "walk
ing delegate" from whom the story
takes its name is a raw-boned horse
from Kansas, who tries to stir his com
panions to rise in their might against
apply to God and the angels. So Dr.
Good is driven to say that God is a
"shadow" and that Christ will send His
"holy shadow" into men's hearts, etc.
While cremation of the dead
Lo too good to-
CO. Clark Co.. New ll.iveii..t.
doubtcdly growing in favor it appears ; "w--
that the dangers attending the ordi- j To bo a i,nnni05s '-saint,
nary burial practice inaj- have been ex- , jQ auv -rood, then suicide.
aggerated. Tins is indicated oy a ...
, , , . . . , , Heireiitati'MCumtiliorlcn Willi tlyeTlti-,
chemical and bacteriological examtna-, Clin.sClunj,pWiH:,tlaandK:iee.Tenlirrors.r.!K.'W,
tion ot samples ot 'irgm sous, pure ag-,
1 1 1
r ciuuira sons, ami gravcyaru mji, Milk, ai.nlicd oiu-o a week with
that has lately been made oy a fccotcli e!otl frcJ,eils.u)0ts and shoes.
investigator, Dr. dames Uuchanan
Young. The proportion of organic j Jt tho Daby is Cutting Tooth.
matter, as judged by the organic Car- ' fesure ami uo that oil ar.:l we!-tried p-m-tr. Jilts-
bon and nitrogen present in the sain- f wixMow'sSoonuscsmur tor chiiireu To-jtm.;;.
pies, was found to be not materially
greater in soil that has been used for
burial than in good pure agricultural
soil. No pathogenie organisms were
discovered in the graveyard soil, and
the number of bacteria present, though
greater than in virgin soil, was much
smaller than one might expect. The
results, in fact, tend to support the
idea that properly conducted burial in
suitable and well drained soils can
cause no risk to public health.
A single hair will bear a weight of
'laiisoit's ?luic t m-n S;Iv."
Warninlwi tieun-.r mi.rii;. ivf.ioi!t;l. A-1 Jour
c!ruirs't for it. l'rn-v 1 rents.
Asparagus is theoldot kuo'.vu phial tbat
liasj-een used for food. ,
Prudence, foresight, that mislit have saved
many a ood ship that lias ?oiie to piece.-.
among the breakers, is a quality '-conspicuous
by its absence" and among none more uotanl;
than persons troubled with inactivity of the Kid
neys and bladder, a "When these organs fall o5
in duty grievous trouble is to bo appre
hended. Bright's disease, diabetes, catarrh,
and stone in tho bladder, are among the dis
eases which a disregard of early symptoms
contirm and render fatal. Tbat signally
effectual diuretic, Hostetter's Stomach Bit
ters, will and let no one so troubled forget
this remedy the symptoms or approaching
renal disease and check its further progress.
Equally efficacious is the B itters for constipa
tion, liver complaint, malarial and rheumatic
trouble and debility.
"We have four kinds of bread at our
boarding house," said the man with
the pasteboard extension on top of his
"And' what are the four kinds of
bread at your boarding house?" asked
the man with the crimson whiskers,
tied on with a string.
"Drj', old, stale and moldy." Indi
Native Fruit Improved.
It has been lately remarked that the
importation of oranges to our markets
from Europe has greatly diminished be
cause the product from Florida and
from California has been such that it
has commanded the market. The re
sult is that foreign fruit has almost
disappeared, and the native fruit is bet
ter in quality and cheaper in quantity
than ever before. The growtli of the
pineapple is following the same order.
It is found that it thrives admirably
well in different localities at the south,
that the fruit can be produced at all
times of the year in different parts of
the countrj', and that the varieties can
be improved. The facility with which
the fruit can be grown in the southern
states is an important factor among our
Teonle who get the greatest"
:grcL- of comfort and real eu
lyment out of iiie. arc those
who make the most .ut
r of their otipomiaities.
Ouick perception a::d:
good judgment, lead such.
promptly to adopt and.
make .:se ot' thoe refined
and improved products of
modern inventive Knius
which best serve the
needs of their physical
the most intelligent
and progressive people '
are louim to emniov
the ir.o.-t refined a:ui
. perfect laxative to :r
i ulate and tone uo the.
"stomach, liver. auL
x bowels, when iu u-ed.
of such an agent hence the reat popularity
of Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets. Thei-e are
made from the purest, most refined and
concentrated vegetable extracts, and front
forty -two to forty-four are contained iu
each vial, which is sold at the same prict:
as the cheaper made and more ordinary
pills found in the market. In curativv vir
tues, there is no comparison to be made be
tween them and the ordinary pills. a any
one may easily leain by sending tor a free
sample, (four to seven dosei.; of the Pel
lets, which will be sent on receipt jf naaie
and address on a postal curd.
QXCE USED THEV ARE A LAVA YSJN n.AVOK-
The Pellets cure biliousness, sick suds
bilious headache, dizziness, costivenes-. or
constipation, sour stomach, loss of appetite,
coated tongue, indigestion, or dyspepsia,
windy belchings. "heart burn," pain and
distress after eating, and kindred dtrance
ments of the liver, stomach and bowels.
Put up in glass vials, therefore a'wnvs
fresh and reliable. One little "Pelltt"
is a laxative, two arc milrilv cathartic
As a "dinner pill,' to promote digestion,
take one each uay after dinner. To r-ik-vt-distrcss
from over-cating. they are un
equaled. They are tiny, sugar-coutcri-granules;
any child will readily take then:.
Accept no sub.-titute that may be recom
mended to be "just as good." It may -better
for the dcaicr, because of paying bin:
a better profit. but he is not the one who
needs help. Address for free sanspl-.
World's Dispknsary Mkhicu. Assi
c:.vriox, 663 Main Street, Buffalo, N. Y.
W I II. Oiimlm 1. j:s
W ncu AnswiTin .lverli-tMiii!in, -188.8.131.52.
-Mention tliU J'apur.
ST. JACOBS OIL
A CHANCE TO
It will give you a chance to CO TO WORK OT7
j Webster's International Dictionary!
tm The Rest C1irisim fi5ff
"WEBSTER'S Dictionary of English, Geography, Biography, Fiction, Etc.
Standard of th t.S. Snprrtae Court.the t.S. Government rrintinzOfSo-.an'l ol -
DICTIONARY ccarlya"'ncSc"0a0',i;s- -'ommenleil liy e-ery State superintendent! ScnooU. .
L -- - '
c;. & c. Merriam Co., Pubs., Springfield, 3fass. ;
sej-Send lor rrre pampnlct containing srs;imea rase?. Jllutrationj, etc. ;
Coughs and Colds,
Sore Throat, Bronchitis. "Weak Lungs, General Debility and
all forms of Emaciation are speedily cured by
Consumptives always find great relief by taking it, and
consumption is often cured. No other nourishment restores
strength so quickly and effectively.
Weak Babies and Thin Children
are made strong and robust by Scott's Emulsion -when other
forms of food seem to do them no good -whatever.
The only genuine Scott's Emulsion is put up in salmon
colore wrapper. Eefuse cheap substitutes!
Send for famphlet on ScoWs Emulsion. FREE.
Scott A. Bowne, H. Y. All Druggists. 50 cents and SI.