Newspaper Page Text
Wanted a Dtto.
Oh, yes; It was raining had been
all day. But they didn't mind that bo
much; you ueo, thoy wore flshcrmon.
'All tho samo, thoy woro trudging
homo, with weary Btepa and very
Their baskets wero ompty, and, to
bo candid, they woro In a very bad
As thoy entered tho llttlo vlllago
a largo dog ran at ono of tho party.
Tho dog had a ferocious look and was
barking furiously, nut tho fisherman
did not tako much alarm at tho ani
mal. Ho Just kicked It away care
lessly. "Aren't you afraldihe'U go for your
Inquired another of tho party, Bomo
Tho ono who had kicked at tho dog
looked at his companion In a sorrow
"I only wish ho would 1" ho replied.
"I'd chanco . almost anything to be
able to go homo and say I'd had a
Tho output of tho pottery industries
of tho United States had a valuo of
134,018.660 in 1911. according to tho
United States geological survey chart
of clay products production, by states,
complied by Jefferson MIddlctown
The pottery collection for 1911 was
greater than for 1910, when tho out
put was valued at $33,784,078, tho in
crease being $733,882. Of tho totnl
production, Ohio was first, with an
output valued at $U,775,2C5; Now
Jersey second, with $8,401,941; West
Virginia third, with $2,SS0.202; New
York fourth, with $2,178,304; Penn
sylvania fifth, with $2,150,817, and
Indiana sixth, wjth $1,004,737. Tho
output of no other state had a valuo
u excess of a m'Jllon dollars.
Appointed Diy of Judgement.
""A horse-dealor in an English town
had lent a hoTso to a solicitor, who
killed tho animal through bad usage.
Tho dealer 'aslsted on paymont, and
tho lawyer, refusing cash, said he
ould give a bill for the amount, but
It must o at a long date. Tho law
yer drew a promissory note, making
t payablo on tho day of Judgment.
'An action was raised, and tho lawyer
nrked tho sheriff to look at tho bill.
Having dono so, the sheriff replied:
"TLIb is the day of Judgment, I decree
you to pay tomorrow."
The teacher 'in natural history had
received more or less satisfactory re
plies to her questions, Tho Delinea
tor asserts,(and Anally she asked:
"What little boy can tell mo where
tho homo of the swallow is?"
Long silence, then a hand waved.
"Well, Bobbie, whero Is It?"
"Tho homo of tho swallow," de
clared Bobbie, sorloimly, "Is In the
A I Hewitt I see that when our writer
friend was married nobody was al
, - lowed to kiss tho bride.
Jewett How was that?
Hewitt At tho wedding reception
he put up a card reading "All rightB
, , reserved."
The Style of It.
"How do they servo meals from
that lunch wagon?"
"I suposo they servo them a la
"My good woman, do you scrub
"No'm; with soap."
"Walt till I hobblo my horse."
"Well, please don't do It on tho
skirt of tho lawn."
Thousands Have Been Helped
By Common Sense
Women Buffering from any form of fo
malo ills nro invited to communicate
promptly with tho woman's private corro
spondenco department of tho Lydia E.
Pinkham Medicine Co., Lynn, Mass.
Your letter will bo opened, read and
answered by a woman and held in strict
confidence. A woman can freely talk of
her private illness to a woman; thus has
been established a confidential corre
Bpondenco which hao extended over
many years and which baa never been
broken. Never havo they published a
testimonial or used a letter without the
written consent of tho writer, and never
has the Company allowed these confiden
tial letters to get out of their possession,
as the hundreds of thousand; of them in
their files will attest
' Oat of iixe vast volume of experience
Which they havo to draw from, it Ih more
than possible that they possess the very
knowledge needed in your case. Noth
ing is asked in return except your good
will, and their edvico has helped thou
sands. Surely any
woman, rich or poor,
should be glad to
take advantage of
this generous offer
of assistance. Ad
dress Lydia E. Pink
ham Medicine Co.,
Every woman ought to have
Lydia E. Plnkham's 80-pogo
Toxt Book. It is not a book for
general distribution, as it is too
expensive. It Is free and only
obtainable by mall. Write for
TO SICK WOMEN
I ,-- I 1 7l 1 la. SJm A H-
BH'HH W n gi5aBBBi;uwjamnfliVAeSg "- 'nw'Hg-OTjg''w?y''q
New York City Crowd
NEW YORK. "The best way to
catch an lrlBh linnet Is to do a
cabaret danco and mako a nolso like
a worm," was tho philosophical deci
sion of ono of a scoro of men who
spent the entire afternoon recently
trying to capturo a bird in tho clear
ing back of tho Hotel Astor, whero
tho New theater is to be erected. An
interested crowd of several hundred
persona watched tho chaso and sev
eral hundred suggestions wore made.
All tho commotion was startod
when Miss Martha Marr of Stamping
Ground, Ky., reported to a clerk In
tho Hotel Astor that her Irish linnet,
which she had smuggled Into her
loom on the eighth Moor back, had
flown her coop, or, to bo exact, her
glided cage. Great was tho grief she
displayed. But nothing happened un
til ehe displayed a yellowback ,wlth
$20 marked all over it.
"Hoodoo" Didn't Work and Sallie Got "Wusser."
IUMINGHAM. Ala. A white wom
an named Mrs. Tltmore was ar
raigned before Judge Benners of the
court of common pleas the othor day
on a charge of tho lnrceny of a cow
belonging to an aged negro woman
named Adelaide Williams. Tho evi
dence was not sufficient to sustain tho
charge, but It revealed a state of
facts that showed tho crcdulence of
tho negro raco In tho efficiency of tho
The negro woman Btatod that ehe
wob tho proud mother of a yellow girl
of about seventeen years old that In
stead of staying at homo the Bald off
spring, as tho old woman expressed
it, went "er galllvantln' wld do boys."
This behavior on tho part of her
daughter Salllo caused the old
woman Bomo "oneaBiness" and she
called on tho white woman for as
sistance. Tho said assistance was
Immediately promised and a bar
gain was made that in the event tho
white woman succeeded In casting a
spell on the wayward Sallio sho was
to receive the cow in paymont.
According to tho testimony of
Adelaldo tho white woman fixed a
powder and a bottle of liquid, which
sho gavo to tho girl with tho Injunc
tion to placo them In her trunk and
the desire to roam would immediate
ly vanish. Tho directions wero car
Boys' Tricks Force Action by Chicago Council
CHICAGO. Mischievous amall boys,
through a recently acquired habit,
are going to forco tho city council to
amend tho automobile ordinances to
prevent tho boyB from adding to the
city's uutomobilo accidents.
Alderman James A. Kearns discov
ered tho other day that tho combina
tion of an automobile, equipped with
a self-starting engine, and a small boy
was ono which may causo trouble. Ho
learned that boys walking along tho
street, particularly messenger boya
In tho downtown district, have ac
quired a new hnbit.
Instead of being content to walk up
to a machine standing at a curb and
"toot" tho horn, boys have demon
ctrated tho merits of self-starting de
Jail's Trick Rat Returns
CLEVELAND, O. Joshua, tho palo
trained rat of the county Jail, la
back again. Joshua has not been seen
slnco eighteen months ago, when he
disappeared with a wooden-legged
man, until the other morning. Tho
return of tho prodigal rat affected
Jailer Bill Stoller deeply.
Stoller was sitting by tho window
in tho Jail office, watching tho auto
mobiles pass In the public nquarc,
when ho felt a Blight tug at his rear
pocket, whern ho ordinarily keeps tho
The Jailer turned. Thoro was
Joshua, palo as ever, eagerly munch
ing tho tobacco.
Joshua immediately Jumped to the
desk, whero he went through tho In
tricate evolutions that havo made him
the marvel of tho sheriff and his
Tho leave-taking of Joshua from
the county Jail was comparablo only
to tho escapo of a thief in the night.
The rat, whose already pain complex
ion, duo, doubtless, to long Imprison
ment, had become even pnlor, had
been lingering around a wooden-
ftTfl AM and
ur lRj lLSjJHLXi fcjfaL J LBi
Pursues One Little Bird
"Try an ad in tho paper," suggested
a bellboy, "and you will get back a
dozen birds In the morning."
"But I must got my Colleen (Chris
tian nnmo of tho bird) at onco. Site
Is right out there in tho back yard,
tho poor dear, Just flying around In a
Baskets, buckets and othor nrtlclcs,
arranged with a bait underneath and
propped upon sticks to which wero
attached long strings, wero tho more
popular mothods used. But some of
tho men and boys tried to effect a
enpturo by hand. Colleen seemed to
enjoy tho sport of tho chase as much
as tho spectators. Sho chirped or
sang, or whatever a rogular llnnot
docs, and seemed to Bmilo when Bomo
one shouted n suggestion acros's tho
"Put salt on its tail!"
"Get an aeroplane!"
"Make a nolso like a worm!"
"Got a letter of Introduction!"
Thcso were a fow of tho sugges
tions mndo to tho crowd that labored
for more than three hours trying to
catch tho feathered prize. Colleen
was still fancy freo and having tho
tlmo of her young life when darkness"
camo and MIsb Marr refused to bo
ried out and the whlto woman took
posseBBion of the cow.
"Did the charm havo the desired ef
fect?" asked the prosecuting attorney.
"What you' mean?"
"Did tho hoodoo keep Salllo from
running around at night?"
"Keep dat chilo from runnln' 'rotfnd
at night? "Lordy man, no, sah; hit
made her wusser."
"Did you tell tho defendant sho
could have tho cow If Iho hoodoo
worked all right."
"Lemme tell yo', ah'll tell do truf er
bout dat conjurer Ah did tell dat
white lady dat ah would gin her do
cow, but do onlleBt way sho wus tor
git lilt was for dat gal of mlno ter bo
Sallio was put on the stand to testi
fy as to tho effects of the charm and
also stated very emphatically that It
made her "wusser" and that alnco
that medicine was in her trunk she
had almost left home.
vices for automobllo engines by push
ing a foot lover and lotting tho en
gine "run wild."
"There is no danger in tlila," said
Alderman Kearns, "If some ono Is left
to guard tho car, or If tho brakes are
set. But Just think what would hap
pen If a small boy was to press the
englno-startlng devico of a machine
where the brakes aro not set.
"Why, tho machlno 1b likely to Btart
running In a crowded street and In
Jure, or perhaps kill, Boveral persons)
beforo it could bo stopped. I am go
lng to ask the city council to pass an
amendment to tho automobile or
Ulnances requiring that all automo
blleB, whether or not they aro equip
ped with Bolf-Btartlng devices, be
made 'small boy proof.' It Is a won
der -that many accidents havo not
been caused thuB far."
The police department has tho pow
er to arrest any person othor than the
owner for tampering with an auto
mobile. Alderman Kearns said, how
over, that It would take a small army
of policemen to keep track of the
mlschlGvlous acts of Chicago's thou
sands of small boys.
After a Long Vacation
legged man, awaiting grand Jury
action on n chargo of robbing a
cheese factory, for several dayB 'Iho
grand Jury mot and acquitted tho
man, in Bpito of tho circumstantial
ovidenco that the atmosphere in his
Joshua doubtless figuring that
whero (hero was cheese In tho air
there might bo food for him. ullppod
into tho right-hand coat pockot of
tho man with tho woodon log Ho
then was seen no moro at tho Jail
until his mycterious return tho other
"Joah, as wo call Joshua for Bhort.
will come to tho deBk at 11 o'clock
every morning, for his chow," 6ald
Oft J. - &j DID MISS
EVIDENTLY OUT OF PLACE
Indignant Frenchman Had Some
Fault to Find. With Postmaster,
and Said So.
A Frenchman with n namo spelled
a la Paris and pronounced son.otl.lng
liko Ca-choo had never learned to
read or wrlto. but ho managed to dls
gulso tho fnct pretty woll until ho
moved to a now community whero tho
name was not common. Going to thp
postofllco ono morning ho Inquired:
"Got any mall for Joo Ca-choo?"
"What's tho numb?" Inquired tho
"Ca-choo, Joe Ca-choo."
"How do you spoil It?"
"Can't you spell Joo Ca-choor
"No," said tho clerk, "1 never heard
Then tho dlBguBt of tho Fronch-
... . t t . ... .-
umii, wiucn nau occn constantly ris
ing, boiled over and ho onorted:
"Well, It you can't spoil, why don't
you soli your old postofllco to somo
ono that can?"
BABY IN MISERY WITH RASH
Monroo, Wis. "When my baby w'aa
six wocIcb old thcro camo a rash on
his faco which finally spread until It
got nearly nil over IiIb body. It form
ed a crUBt on his head, hair fell out
and tho itch was terrible When ho
would scratch tho crust, tho water
would oozo out In big drops. On faco
and body It was In a dry form and
would Bcnlo off. Ho was In great mis
ery and at nights I would Ho awake
, holding his hands so that ho could not
scratch and disfigure himself. I tried
slmplo remedies at first, then got
medicine, but it did no good.
"Finally a friend suggested Cutlcura
Remedies, so I sent for a snmplo to
soo whnt thoy would do, when to my
surprlso after a few applications I
could soo at Improvement, and ho
would rest better. I bought a box of
Cutlcura Ointment and a cake of Cutl
cura Soap and beforo I had them half
used my baby was cured. H1b head is
now covered with a luxuriant growth
of hair and his complexion is ad
mired by everybody and has no dls
fignrements." (Signed) Mrs. Annio
Saunders, Sept. 29, 1911.
Cutlcura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout tho world. Sample of each
free, with 32-p. Skin Book. Address
post-card "Cutlcura, Dept. L, Boston."
"Halloa!" JelllBon cried, as ho en
countered his ncauaintnnco. Barwood.
In tho street "Thought you wern got-)
ting mnrrlod today. Postponed ?
"Altogether," said Barwood, firmly.
"Not oven engaged now, then?" pur
"No. Tho lady I was to have mar
ried wbb too modern too up-to-duto
"Up-to-date!" Tho oxcuso astonish
ed JelllBon. "How on earth "
"Wioto hor laBt Monday, saying I
was coming to bco hor on IVodnesday.
You see, although wo'd beon engaged
for somo tlmo, I nover formally pro
posed, and she seemed to wnnt it. So
I went on Wodnosday Just to satisfy
hor whim, as I thought. Got thero
and found she had sold tho rightB of
photographing mo at tho moment of
proposing to a clnomatograph com
pany. "That Bettlod it!" Tit Blta.
Why He Borrowed.
"And then, Nero had Homo Bet afire
In ovcry quarter."
"Alas, how terrlblo!" murmured llt
tlo Morltz, with an expression of auch
deep anguish that his teacher naked
why it affected him so much.
"Why," said Morltz, "Just think of
tho poor Insuranco companloBl"
Seizing the Opportunity. l
She Old Mr. Steinor told mo ho
would marry mo at onco if ho woro
twenty-flvo years younger.
He Why, that would Just bo my
Sho Ach, thiB Is so sudden. Ex
change. A Paradoxical Ballot.
"I should think tho women voting
in tho new suffrage states would
Btriko ono obstacle, "
"What 1b that?"
"How can tho matrons of a party
cast their maiden voto?"
A Dead One.
"Tho doctro says that I will livo
about a year."
"That will bo a great chango for
Man is weak. That is why he In
vests in a cantaloup when ho knows
tho chancea aro ten to ono against
him. Toledo Blado.
"What am I to do about this man's
attack on mo? I can't answer him."
"Then why don't you call him a
ilr. Wlimtow'H Boothinc Hj-nip for Clillilrrn
tri'lliliiiMtofU'na the puma, rrritireu Inlluinuia
tlou, allayu pain, cures wiud o lie, 85c a bonis.
A woman has no business with a
family if she can't tnke something old
and make over it into Eomcthing new.
CURRS BUHN3 AND CUTS.
Cole's CnrMl.tlva stops the pnln InnUnlly.
CurciquIck.Notcar.AIldruEEltti.2S and 50c. Adv.
Many a born leader throws up tho
epongo and becomes a follower.
oye any garmei t without ripping apart. Write
6 Oi if sWW:r
til o. TL.'. E?
jl vui uiia mis jripe vviui ziggeu ga
& Myers Duke's Mixture" 35
All kinds of men smoke Duke's Mixturc in all kinds m
of pipes fnd every other way and they all tell the same
tory. They like the genuine, natural tobacco taste of Bj
Cholco bright leaf aged to mellow mildness, carefully stemmed
and then granulated every grain pure, hlgh-grndo tobacco
tlmfs what you get in tho Liggett & Myers Duko's Mixture sack.
You get ono and a half ounces of this pure, mild, delightful
tobacco, unsurpassed in quality, for 6c.
Now About the Free Pipe
In every snckofZ iggett &Afyers Duko's Mixture wo now pack
a coupon. You can exchange thcso coupons for a pipe or for many
other valuablo and useful articles, Thcso presents cost not ono
penny: Thcro is something for every member of thej family
skates, catcher's gloves, tennis rackets, cameras, toilet articles,
suitcases, enncs, umbrellas, and dozens of other things. Just send
Mr. Collier Down This chicken Is
Mrs. Collier Down But tho dealer
BBsurod mo that It was tender. Ho
wouldn't toll a Ho for a mora chicken.
Mr. Collier Down But ho might for
an old hen.
"This Is tho parting of tho wayo "
"Who left tho Hwitch open?"
It Is easier to go broko in a hurry
than it Is to got rich quick.
For Headache Nprwiiisi3e
and Backache duefo disorder
of Kidneys and Bladder
$3.00 $3.50 4.00 4.B0 AND 5.00
trnn Mrw iun uhmdij
Soya wanr W. L. Douutmm $2.00, $'J.50 A $3.00 School i
V.LDouglnt makes and toll mora $3.00, $3. 56 & $4.00 shoe ,
than any other manufacturer in the world.
THE STANDARD OP filial
The workmnniliip which hat made W. L. Douglas ihooi famous tho world
over is maintained in every pair.
Ask your dealer to how y ou W. L, Dou8l latest fashions for fall and winter
wear, notico the short vamps which mako the foot look smaller, poinU In
hoe particularly desired by young men. Ajso the consoruatlvo styles which
have made W. L. Douglas shoes a household word everywhere.
If you could visit W. L. Douglas large factories at Brockton, Mass., and
for yourself how carefully W. L. Douglas shoes nro made, you would then un
derstand why they nro warranted to fit better, look better, hold their shape and
wear longer tlumony other make for the price. r,t 09,,r gytMlt
CAUnON,-To protect you agklntt Inferior ,ho... W.L. DomUs stamp, hit nam on tho bol
torn. Uok for the stamp, llaw.ro of ub.lltut.a. W.L.Doula..hos.r.oUin75 ow
f or., and shoo dealer, or.pwli.r.. Nom.tt.r wharo you llva. they are within yowraaeh.
H your la . r cannot .upply you, writ, direct to factory for catalog .how ing how to order
by mall. Shoe, tent eyery where; delirery cbarea prepaid. W-L.Dou.la. UrocBton M"I
for free booklet-
in ixr.i- V2 xx HB
us your namo anil nuurcss on a postal
nnu ns a special offer during Sep
tember and October jpnly we will
tendyoa our new illustrated cata
losue of presents FREE of any
charge. Open up a sack of IAggtlt
ilyrt Duke's Mixture today.
Coupons from Dukt't Mixtute nay et
fiunrtid tvtth tars from HORSE SHOE,
J.T.. TIN3LEY5S NATURAL LEAF.
GRANGER TWIST, and Coupons from
FOUR ROSES ItOc tin doMbh ccuon
PICK PLUG CUT, PIEDMONT CIGA
RETTES, CUX CIGARETTES, and
ointr tats or coupons ttiuia oy ut.
Address Premium Dept.
twzrVLu.i2& 6Z. -4sf
The First Toast.
Wilson, Mlznor, tho well-known
vlveur, explained, on a Now York rpot
gardon, tho origin of tho word ''toast"
toasting a lady.
"You will romomber," ho began,
"that in olden times it wbb tho cus
tom to sprvo punch wfth toasted that
Is to say, roastod apples floating In
it. Thcso apples woro called th
toaat Tho toast remombor that.
"Well, it hnpponod at Bath ono day
that a colobratod beauty stood In tho
Cross Bath, surrounded by a throng
of admlrqrs, and ono of thoso admir
ers, Intoxicated with admiration, took
a glass of tho water in which tha
beauty- stood, and holding it aloft,
drank hor health, draining tho wato
to tho last drop.
"Beau Nash, who stood near by,
" 'I llko not tho punch, but I would
I had tho toaat!'"
How About This? .
"Geese uro supposed to bo symbolic
of all that In foolish."
"Well, go on."
"But you nover Bee an old gander
hoard up a million kernels of corn ahd
then go around trying to ninto with a,
Tho principal difference between tf
cur dog and a thoroughbred is that
tho cur can pick up his own living.
ITY COr nuen on VCAne
MONROE DHUQ COMPANY, Quiney, Ilk
Jill 8 III