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THE SIN OF THK COPPENTER MAN.
The espMntw man sala a wicked -word,
When he hlttod his Uiumb one day,
En I know what It was, boc.iuso I heard,
Kn it's aosnethln'" I dassent say.
Ho trowed us a house with rooms In
En the rooms Is full of floors;
It's my papa's house, en when bo buyed
It was nothln' but Just outdoor
En they planted stone In a hole for
En that's how tho houso bepan,
But I bet the stones would havo Just
Except for tho coppenter man.
En the coppenter man took a board en
He'd shin It en make somo curls,
En 1 hung 'em onto my ears on head,
En they mado mo look like girls.
En ho squinted alone one side, he did,
En he squinted tho other side twice,
En then ho told me, "You squint It,
'Causo tho coppenter man's reel nice.
But the coppenter man said a wicked
When ho hlttod his thumb that day;
lie s'lld It out loud, too, 'can so I heard,
En It's somethln' I dassent say.
En the coppenter man said It wasn't
"When you hlttod your thumb, kerspat!
En thore'd bo no coppentor men to bo
If It wasn't for words like that.
En If there wasn't no coppenter men,
We'd have to live In tho barn
Cnust there wouldn't be nny houses, en
Then what would we do by darn!
En tho coppenter man said a wicked
"When he hlttod his thumb one day,
En I know what It was, because 1 heard,
En It's somnthln' 1 dassent say!
Edmund Vance Cooko In Woman's
The Lobbyist at Washington.
Not all lobbyists are bad. Former
Senator Thurston Is a good exam
ple of a numerous class of lobbyists
who are to bo found In Washington,
as, indeed, in the vicinity" of any im
portant legislative body, made up of
attorneys engaged in the general prac
tice of the law, and in special practice
before the governmental departments
and Congress. They reside at the cap
ital the year around and are enabled
by their familiarity witK government
al or legislative methods to do with
comparative ease what the man who
does not know, or who is not ac
quainted would find It hard to do.
Much of their business is perfectly
legitimate. Some of it may lae regard
ed as high class. And on the other
hand, much of it is of Btich a questton
able character that it is regarded as
"extremely confidential." Tills class
of permanent all the year around lob
by lawyers is recruited constantly
from the Senate and the house of rep
resentatives members who, from
time to time, are dropped outsido tho
breastworks, and, having learned to
lovo the capital and its easy ways,
open an office and take to this method
of earning a living.
But there are many sorts of lobby
ists, and they are not all bad. j.nec
dore Roosevelt is something of a lob
byist himself. William H. Taft has
boon seen often in tho Senate corri
dors and even on the floor, personally
soliciting members of that body to
vote for army or Philippine legislation
There are lobbyists who do not buy
wine and lobbyists who do not solicit
members or even interview them in
peraon. There are lobbyists who work
In tho open and have no secrets as .o
their methods or objects. And there
are lobbyists who skulk and sneak
and deny their owners. There aro lob
byists who spend themselves with a
goncrous zeal for tho object of their
desire, and there are others who spend
other people's money in pretending to
promoto affairs as much beyond their
reach as the movements of the planets
There are lobbyists for the farmer, lob
byists for the sailor, and lobbyists for
the church. There aro lobbyists for la
bor, and lobbyists for capital. There
are lobbyists for railroads, for publish
rs, for government employees and
finally there is a lobby for the people.
It has come late an, afterthought, as
it were. Gllson Gardner in Success
When a man is on top ,and easily
vanquishes all opposition, it is oasy
for him to bo magnanimous and char
itable. But let an opponent appear
who is smarter than ho is, then watch
the magnanimous and charitable man
go into tho air!
When people marry they think they
are getting the' top peach in the.bas
ket, but after marriage they find they
.got the peach on the bottom row.
Even the bitterest enemies of th
Russian orar men who hate him as n
ruler can hnrdly fail to pity him as
Even tho optimistic sympathizer
must nt least concede that there seems
now no hope. Tito old dynasty, which
for so many years has kept an im
mense area of Europe and Asia dom
inated and anaemic in its gloomy
shade seemB at last tottering to its.
fall through rottenness of Us heart.
And when it Tails tho crash will bo
something which will shako the world.
Out of the whole mighty drama
stands forth a central figure of trag
edy the person of tho poor, trembling
czar tho man. Born to this office,
taught from boyhood that he wns or
dained of God to occupy It, hearing
dally that the might of tho govern
ment must be upheld by any means,
is it any wonder that he feels the re
sponsibility which he dreads but
dares not tmirlfnfihe riskof going
down In history as a coward tho only
coward of all the centuried rulers of
the Russian empiro?
Poor fellow! He was born a czar,
but how much better for his llfo long
happiness had he been born a farmer!
Let no man lament that he was
born humbly. Better come into tho
world as a leper than as tho heir to a
crown which floats on a sea of blood.
To reign hated by millions, tolerated
by the few whoso interest it Is to
keep you In power to live in dally hor
ror, not knowing at which moment
your life will go out miserably, to
know in your heart that you are' a hu
man being, wnrm with life and lovo
and the yearning for human sympa
thy all of which qualities aro un
known to the mass of humanity which
sees in you merely tho personification
of all the evils of a corrupt govern
ment, grown rotten and vampiro-liko
with the centuries.
Rejoice,, oh common citizen, that
you can go about the world in safety,
lying down at night to sound sleep, un
troubled by the nightmares of dread
that gather around the ruler's couch.
Rejoice that the head of our own na
tlnn is able to go around in corduroys
and slap a common man on the back
and call him "Hello, Bill!" and bor
row a match to light his pipe. But
while you rejoice, spare a little sym
pathy for the poor chap who is just
now dying of fear in Tsarkoo Selo, a
more wretched prisoner than over was
locked in the death chamber waiting
for the electric chnlr. The sins of a
thousand years are visited upon his
head but who can doubt that he
would give all the world just to be a
Poor fellow! He was born a czar,
but how much better had he been
born a farmer! Des Moines News.
How He Lost His Opportunity.
How little tho average person who
Is trying to get on realizes how many
things are occurring in his experience
which arc trying to down Tilm, and
which aro hindering his advance! A
poor job, an unkind word ,a stinging
criticism, Ingratitude for a favor,
failuro to give assistance when it was
In his power, hard problems skipped
away back in youth, a hasty act, an in
discretion of an unguarded moment.
All things are likely to come up
when he least expects it and bar his
progress. Many a ncble man with po
litical ambitions has failed of election
to Congress, or of appointment to
some coveted office, because of some
slip he has made, or of somebody,
perhaps a private secretary, who has
put in the word that checkmated the
move for his advancement.
Perhaps, it was a sarcastic remark
about someone, who later was in a po
sition to help him, that lost him tho
Many a man haB lost his opportun
ity for advanceThent under the present
administration by opposing and crit
icizing Theodore Roosevelt in his ear
lier career, when ho did not dream
that the former would ever occupy his
present lofty position.
You can not tell where a thrust of
an unguarded moment will land, or
what effect a sarcastic remark may
have on your future. He is a fortunate
man who guards his tongue, who tem
pers his acts with prudence and, good
judgment. Success Magalzno.
Tho hobo has n lot of trouble with
policemen, dogs and poor pie, but he
enjoys tho distinction of being prac
tically the only person who can take
an absolutely disinterested" view of
the 2-cent a mile and antl-pasB rail
road legislation. .
A. Mitchell, dealer in gonorul
merchandise, Martin, Ga., writes:
"My wife lost in weight from 180 to
68 pounds. We saw alio could not 11 vo
long. She was a skeleton, so wo con
sulted an old physician. Ho told her
to try Poruna.
"Sho gradually commoncod im
proving and getting a llttlo strength.
Sho now weighs 106 pounds. Sho is
gaining every day, and doos her own
housework and cooking."
Congressman Grosvenor of Ohio,
was complimented with $100,000 public
building appropriation for Athens,
his home town ,at the closing days of
congress. He was defeated for re
election after a long service in the
ONLY ONE "BROMO QUININE."
That Is LAXATIVE BROMO Quinine.
Similarly named remedies sometimes
deceive. The first and original Cold
Tablet is a WHITE PACKAGE with
black and red lettering, and bears tho
signature of E. W. GROVE. 20c.
PILES CURED IN 6 TO 14 DAYS.
PAZO OINTMENT is guaranteed to
cure any case of Itching, Blind, Bleed
ing or Protruding Piles in C to 14 days
or money refunded. 50c.
There is always a sense of secret
satisfaction among his schoolmates
when the boy who has led his class at
school, falls to make ood when
school days are over ,and a sterner
BROOKS' NEW CURE
Brooks' Appliance. New
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Automatlo Air Cushions.
Binds and draws the broken
parts tooethsr as you would
a broken limb. No wives.
Xolympbol. No lies. Dur
able, cheap. Pat. Sent. lO.'Ol.
SENT ON TRIAL.
C. E. BROOKS. 4 HO Biwki'Bltf.,
PUTNAM FADELESS DYES
C.l.r mora as.ds brighter snd (asler colors than any atner dys. One 10c pscksss ool.rs silk, wool and ootlen equally wall and la suaranteed ta live perfect results.
Isk sour druggist or we will send postpsld st 10c a pscksgs. Write for froo b.oklet-How to Dye, BUach and Mix Colors. MONROE DRUG CO., Vmlmvlll; Me.
The central labor bodies of Norfolk,
Portsmouth and Newport NGwS have
decided to erect on the Jamestown
exposition grounds a laUor hall to cost
between $10,000 and $15,000, which
will bo designed for labor headquar
ters at tho exposition.
Ten Good Things.
Thcro arc ton good things for which
no ono has over yet been sorry. TIicbo
Doing good to all.
Speaking evil of none.
Hearing before judging
Thinking heforo speaking.
Holding an nngry tbnguo.
Being kind to tho distressed.
Asking pardon for all wrongs.
Being patient toward evorybody.
Stopping Uic ears of a talebearer.
Disbelieving most of tho ill reports.
i mum, uk which wiL SENT 1?017 0? I
Ik.w I., rut (Vmmnntlon In m!i ' w sT.tr.
I jnurpwn horn, wriloforll . ,f I
Inirnn i .1 orf i . ,1111 "tr hi. niiwi, niriu
A Snfo, Painless. Permanent lure 0UABA1JTEXD.
.10 years' experionen No money uceopictl until
patient Is well CONSULTATION and
uahH BOOK Prff hv mall or ut offleo
OR.C. M.COE, 915 Walnut St.. Kansas City, Me.
13 WEEKS FREE
Or 15 Months for Only $1.00
The Kansas Farmer
The "old reliable" Kansas Farmer,
established In 1863, the beat genuine
agricultural weekly pnpor In tho West.
It nolvcs the problems for tqo busy
farmer. It helps and interests every
member of the farmer's fomlly. It has)
12 regular departments. Its contribu
tors are expert authorities. It contains
24 to 32 pages each week. Sent on
trial three months free. Test it. Clip
the coupon below.
TUB KANSAS FAItMKIl CO.,
I accept your trial offer to new
subscriber to send me the Kansas
Farmer three months free. At the
end of the throe months I will eith
er send $1.00 for a full year from
that date or write you to stop tho
paper, and you aro to makn no
charge for the three months' trial.
No Money Required
a cent of money no deposit not even a reference. You wear the glasses in your
own home for six days and if perfectly satisfactory la etery way if they are the.
bast glasses you ever saw at aay arlce send me only $1 and the glasses are yours.
If the glasses for any reason do not suit you it you don't believe them to be the best
bargain you ever had return them and you are out nothing. It is because I am so
positive that you can see better with Trusiajht Spectacles than with common glasses
that I want to send a pair especially fitted to your eves on Slays' free trial. Send
for tester today.. THUSIGHT SPECTACLE CO., 623 ' Kansas City, Ha.
To those who as. a Wonder Orala Orader for preparing; seed. This Is NOT A PANNING
MILL. Write (or Catalog. Endorsed by Farmers and State Universities everywhere. Wa
will tell you where to buy one. Write Dept. B, BURBKA MFd. CO.
WRITE TODAY. LINCOLN, NBB.
Glvea Meat Swoet Wholesome Taste. 7B
PY-RO IS PUR
Standn Pura Food Test. Guam n too
your town wrlta direct to manufacturer.
smoked flavor. HYSOM REM
Adams, Allen A, Berrytoc, Kan.
Oladisb, Edwin B. Higginsville, Mo.
Hazelton, Thomas A., Mackvlllo,
Housel, Iola, Pru, Kan. Garment
Tauscher, John, Ellis, Kan. Hitch
for plows and tho like.
Toy; Thomas D. Cherryvalo, Kans.
Wright, John R., Wheeling, Mo. Hay
When wo ask a question, and the
reply Is, "A thousand people have
asked that question," wo feel asham
A great many Reforms are nothing
more than a groan for the, power oth
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Best INVALID'S HOME in the West.
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5?r!2nJLf2r.tr?ltmont 0 " Chronlo Diseases.
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rlfCHtJ rSurritot Otrmttmt Ptrftrnud with
Skill and Sutctti whin Surgtrf it Ntciitmry,
DISEASES OF WOMEN 5?" .ifiBS
ui women, many wno naye suffered far year
cured at home. Special book for women FRBB
iiftturt tr tmuitie. N m0nty
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Guarantee. Send for Special FRRK Book,
New rentoratlvo treatment lor loss of Vital
Power, Hydrocele, Rupture, Stricture oto
CRIPPLED CHILDREN gHga
metuodn. Trained attendants,
WHIT PON Pang BOOK ON
Club Feet, Curvature of Lunif, Eye. Sala,
Spine. Hare Lip, Kldaey, Bladder,
Epilepsy. Catarrh, Blood and
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Patients successfully treated at home fey
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17 Illastratsa look Free, Riving muoh
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riD P II PflC Ornot, 0 1 6 Walnut St.,
Ufli bt W, bUCs KANSAS CITY, MO.
UtS i n s
bftsd.nr nofse. Nofntlnf, Iju uv ti.mphlsllor JesUn.
$80 to $175 Ptr Month
For Plremrn and nrakrmtn.eipcrlrnoe
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The Publishers Newspaper Union.
K. C. Mo., Lincoln, Neb. V IX NO. 53
Eft B I t asV SET HOME for oonflai
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I Wamt f PrT u Tm Tart Tr
sltfkt Spectacles Ar taa
Mi t Tarn Ir Wort.
Simply Send He Your Name.
I will send you my perfect Trusif bt
Eye Tester with which you can test
your own eyea as well as the most
killed optician. When you retura
the tester with your test I will sens!
you a pair of Geaalaa Traalgat
Spectacles that will Burely fit you a
days' free trial. I won't askrW
CURED WITHOUT THE KNIFE.
Fistula, Flhsure. Weeding, Itching, Ulcortitlon, Const! psitloa
and all Rectal DIscnsRH a Specialty. Cures Guaranteed.
Sond for Hnokcle. DR. M. NKY SMITH, Hpeclallat. 814
rine St,, ST. LOUIS, MO. Eatabllaliod in Su Louis In 18M.
10 TO 30 PROFIT S
cent llottlo Cures 275 Pounds of Meat.
E LIQUID SMOKE.
d. Sold by till Drugglstn. If not sold In
Cured mcnt with PY-HO has ye oldan
EDY CO., Lincoln, Nebraska.
What has Dccome of that nice old
fashioned joalous woman who shot
the other woman Instead of the man
they both loved?
Catarrh Cannot Be Cured
with LOCAL APPLICATIONS, aa
they cannot reach tho seat of the dls
ease. Catarrh is a blood or constitu
tional disease, and in order to cure it
you must take internal remedies.
Hall's Catarrh Curo Is taken internally
and acts directly on the blood and.
mucous surfaces. Hall's Catarrh Cure
Is not a quack medicine. It was pre
scribed by one of the best physicians
in this country for years and Is a regu
lar prescription. It is composed of t&
best tonics known', combined with th
host Iblood purifiers, acting directly
on tho mucous surfaces. Tho perfeot
combination of the two Ingredients is
what produces such wonderful reBulU
In curing catarrh. Send for free tes
P. J. CHENEY & Co., Props, Tole4,
Sold by Druggists, price 75c. 1
. Take" Hall's Family Pills for'eonaM. 1