Newspaper Page Text
Nebr aska Advertiser
W. W. SANDERS, Prop.
Fanny, Ihii'I, II, Mm) what turns (ho
ICHVCH led leltVOH I1H blllO?
Ho' Is it wIho letter
known wlint not to Hay.
Something ought to ho done to en
courage tho languishing umbrella in
If Alfred Aunt In possessed a sense
of humor ho might hnv a groat deal
of fun reading IiIh own worlH.
TIks VlonnuAcudoiny "of Sciences
Iiuh spent nearly ?y,000 in working ton
Ions of uranium oro for radium.
Now II, Ih announced that locomotor
nlnxln Ih curablo. Tho Hclonco of tho
IWntioth century Ih ovliluully going to
Some correspondence Hchool could
nutko a hit hy liiHtltuting a coui'hc in
what letters to burn and what not to
Count tfeppolln now bus hair a mil
lion dollars at li Ik dlsposnl for nlrship
experiments. Tho recent destruction
of IiIb ap)araluH proved a good ndver
tlBomcnt alter all.
Hy performing a few more deeds ol
horolBm during tho next hIx months
Kermlt may Hiicceed In making hie
own fttorlos from Africa worth one 01
two dollnrs a word.
A French countcBB, noted ns a bun
tor of big game, ha been lont In the
wIldH of Africa. It Ih to bo hoped
that tho Houb Hhe Htarted out to find
did not fine', her Hweet enough to cat.
The latoKt explosion on a French
nrmorod crulKer again dcmoiiBtratOH
tho tromendoiiH olllcleney of the war
ships of France in wrecking them
koIvpb and killing off their own crewH.
To do awny with public Tove-muklng
a western town hns pnsBod an or
dinance requiring young pooplo to be
at homo by nlno o'clock. Well, It's
getting d rk earlier now, and much
can bo done beforo curfow.
A Gotham ox-multl-mllHonnlre and
king of Wall Htreet, after having won
and lost two fortunes, Ih now working
on a salary. This fairly Illustrates tho
ups and downs of speculation, except
that nil ex-speculator kings aro not
lucky enough to get the salary Job.
A ami) in Now York hns sued his
wile for divorce on the ground that
she gives him either raw or burned
steak, and that this constitutes cruel
and Inhuman treatment. Which prac
tically Indorses tho contemptuous viow.
of tho masculine box in tho recipe
given nt a club meeting to mako o
husband happy: "Feed tho brute." '
Tills year's "sonlor wranglershlp" at
the University of Cambridge, England,
gave great honors to a young Russian
Jew. Tho result or tho "mathematical
tripos" bIiowb that Sollg Hrodetsky,
whose father had sought an asylum in
England from Russian oppression, had
been bracketed with Mr. Ibbotsou,
scholar of Pembroke, for tho coveted
lirltish blue riband of mathematics.
Hopeful visions of tho future aro al
ways voluablc, if thoy sorvo only to
stimulate tho imagination. Tho sec
retary of tho Postnl "Progress league
looks forward to a tlmo whoa tho
nival delivery shall convey to the
"man ut tho sources" olectric power
for mechanical purposes, freight and
passengers, and shall furnlBh tele
graph and telephone service. Stran
ger dreams have como true.
Pennsylvania Railroad Company me
chanics lmvo lately equaled tho in
genuity of tho automobilo owner who
jacked up his car and used tho motor
to run a circular saw. They lmvo
.quipped 17 locomotives in tho Pitts
burg yards with hose and pumping
machinery so that thoy may bo used
an tire engines. A system of signals
has been arranged for calling the en
gines in case of need.
According to Richard Croker It Is
American money which seems to bo
keeping Egypt going. "Two-thirds of
tho visitors," says Mr. Crokov, "I met
all around enme from America, and
thoy represented all parts of the
states. Thoy provldo tho people with
a living not only in tho hotels, but In
tho Bt roots. 1 never saw such people
for begging. As soon as an Egyptian
child Is horn It seems to ask for back'
sheesh, and Egyptians aro looking for
money all tho time."
Tho name "vaudovlllo" originally
came from Iho ballads of Oliver Has-
sella, who was born and IIouiIhIici
la tho Val do Vlro la Noramady. The
val do Vlro ballads onino to ho known
an tho vaudovlllo ballads, ami thoM
and similar sprightly songs constl
tuled Iho vaudovlllo entertainment
It is a long stretch from this to dan
cos, ucroliutlo fouls, drumnllo sketch
on and Johnny llayus tolling how It
fools lo bo a Marathon winner In the
1 iflflif czj
W. W. JACOBS
BULLY OF THE
(CVi-ij-rlKlit, lodil, Mwiil C'oinimnjr,)
"Talking of prize lighters, sir," said
Iho night watchman, who had nearly
danced himself over the edge of tho
wharf In Illustrating one of Mr. Cor
bet t's most trusted blows, and was
now sitting down taking In sufficient
air for three, "they ain't wot they used
to lie when I was a boy. Thoy ndver
tisd In the papers for months and
months about I heir lights, and when
it does come off, they do it with
gloves, and they'ie all right agin a day
or two art or.
"Tho strangest prize lighter I ever
come acrost was one wot shipped with
mo on tho CavondlBh. Ho was tho
moBt eggBlrordlnary fighter I've ever
seen or 'card of, and 'e got to be
such a nuisance afore 'e'd done with
us that we rould 'ardly call our souls
our own. Ho shipped as an ordinary
seaman a unfair thing to do, as 'e
was anything but ordinary, and 'ad
no right to be there at all.
"We'd got one terror on board nfore
he come, and that was Hill Hone, one
o the biggest nnd strongest men I've
over seen down a ship's fo'c's'le, and
that's saying a good deal. Hnllt moro
like a bull than a man, 'o wns, and
when he was In his tantrums the best
tiling to do was to get out of 'is way
or else get into your bunk and keep
(pilot. Oppersltion used to send 'im
crazy a'most, an' If 'o said a red shirt
was a blue one, you 'ad to keep quiet.
It didn't, do to agree with 'im and
call It blue even, cos If you did he'd
call you a liar and punch you for tell
"The v'y'ge I'm speaking of we
used to trade between Australia and
Loudon Hill came aboard about aa
hour afore the ship sailed. Tho rest
of us was already aboard and down
below, some of us stowing our things
"You Better Not."
away and the rest sitting down and
telling each other lies about wot wo'd
been doing. 13111 camo lurching down
tho ladder, and Tom Raker put 'Is 'and
to 'im to steady 'iai as he got to tho
'"Who are you putting your 'amis
on?' sea Hill, glaring nt 'im.
" 'Only 'olding you up, Hill,' hob Tom,
'Oh,' sea Hill.
"Ho put Ms back up agin a mink and
pulU-d hls-self together.
""Oldlug of mo up was you?' he
bob; 'whnffor, If I might bo so bold as
'"I thought youv Joot 'ad slipped,
Hill, old limit, sob Tom; 'but I'm sorry
If It 'adaV
"Hill looks at 'Im njjin,' ard.
" 'Sorry U my foot didn't slip?'
"You know wot 1 moan, Hill.' boh
Tom, mulling a uneasy smile,
"'Don't luush at mo,' roars Hill.
'"I wasn't laughing, HID. old
" 'E'h called my n ilai,' tv 111!!,
looMng rujid nt ui 'onlliMl wo AUr.
'Old my coat, Charles, and I'll split
'Im in halves.'
"Charlie took the coat like n lamb,
though ho was Tom's, pal, and Tom
looked 'round to see whethor ho
couldn't nip up the ladder and get
away, but Hill wan Just in front of it.
Then Tom found out that one of 'Is
bootlaces was undone and ho knolt
down to do it up, and this young or
dinary seaman, Joo Slinms by name,
put his' 'cad out of his bunk und he
sos, quiet like:
" 'You aln t afraid of that thing,
mate, are you?
" 'Wot?' screams Hill, starting.
" 'Don't make such a noise when I'm
speaking,' ses .Joe; 'where's your man
ners, you great 'ulking rascal?'
"I thought Hill would Im' dropped
with surprise at being spoke to like
that. His face was purple all over
and 'e Blood staring nt Joe as though
'o didn't know wot to mako of '1m.
And we stared, too, Joe being a small
ish sort o' chap and not looking nt all
'"Go easy, mate, whispers Tom;
'you don't know who you're talk
" 'You touch that man,' ho ses,
quietly, pointing to Tom, 'and I'll give
you such a dressing-down ns yoa'vo
never 'ad arore. Mark my words,
" '1 wnsn't going to 'It him,' ses Rill,
in a strange, mild voice.
" 'You'd better not,' bos the young
'an, shaking his list at Mm; 'you'd bet
ter not, my lad. If there's any fighting
to bo done in this fo'c's'le I'll do It.
"It's no good me saying wo was
staggered, becos staggered ain't no
word for It. To see 13111 put Ms hands
In Ms pockets and try and whistle, and
then sit. down on a locker and scratch
'Is head, was tho most amazing thing
I've ever seen. Presently 'e begins to
sing under his breath.
" Stop that 'ummlng,' ses .Too; 'when
I want you to 'am, I'll tell you.' .
"Hill left off 'ummlng, and then ho
gives a little cough behind the back of
Ms 'and, and, arler fidgeting about a
bit with Ms feet, went up on deck
" ' 'Strewth,' ses Tom, looking round
nt us, ' 'ave wo shipped a bloomln'
"He was a ordinary seaman, mind,
talking to A. H.'s like that. Men who'd
been up aloft and doing their little bit
when 'o wns going about catching cold
la Ms little petticuts. Still, if Hill
could stand it, wo supposed as wo'd
"Hill stayed up on deck till wo was
under way, and Ms spirit seemed to be
broke. He weal about 'Is work like a
man wot. was walking in Ms sleep, and
when brenkfast come 'e 'ardly tasted it.
"Joe made a splendid breakfast, aad
when he'd finished 'o went to Bill's
bunk and chucked the things out all
over the place and said 'o was going
to 'ave it for himself. And Rill sat
thero and took it all quiet, aad by-aud-by
ho took 'is things ap and put them
In Joe's bunk without a word.
" 'You've been in a scrap or two in
your time, I know,' Tom ses, admiring
like. M know you was a bit of a on
with your fists direckly I seo you.'
'"Oh, 'ow's that? asks Joe.
" 'I could see by your nose,' ses Tom.
"You never know how to take peo
ple like that. The words ad 'ardly
left Tom's Hps nfore tho other ups
with a basin of 'ot tea and heaves it
all .over Mm.
" 'M'ake that, you Insulting rascal,'
" 'Get up,' ses Tom, dancing with
rage. 'Get up; prize fighter or no
prize fighter, I'll mark you.'
" 'Sit down,' ses Rill, turning round.
" 'I'm going to 'ave a. go at Mm, Rill,'
ses Tom; Mf you're afraid of Mai, I
" 'Sit down,' ses Rill, starting up
' 0w daro you insult mo like that?'
'"Liko wot?' ses Tom, staring.
" 'If 1 can't lick Mm you can't,' ses
Rill; 'that's 'ow It Is, mate.'
" 'Rut I caa try,' sos Tom.
" 'All right,' ses Hill. 'Mo fust, then
If you lick me, you caa 'avo a go at
Mm. If you caa't lick mo, 'ow caa you
"That was the beglanlag of it, aad
iastead of 'aviag one maBtor wo foaad
we'd got two, owing to tho eggstror
dinry way Bill had o' looking at things.
"In about three days our lifo wasn't
worth living, nnd tho fo'c's'le wna
moro like a Sunday school class than
anything else. In tho fast placo Joo
put down Hwcarlag. He wouldn't 'avo
no bad langwidge, ho said, aad ho
dlda't neither. If a man used a bad
word Joe would pull Mm up tho fust
time, and tho second he'd ordor Hill
to Ml Mm, being afraid of 'urtlug Mm
loo much Mmsolf.
"Then Joo objocted to as playing
cards for money, and wo 'ad to ar
range on tho quiet that braco huttoiiB
was lm'-peuules and coat buttons pen
nles, and that lastetl until one evening
Tom linker got up aad danced and
nearly went off Ms 'end with Joy
through havia' won a few doon. That
was enough for Joe, and Hill by his
ardors took tho cards and pitched 'oiu
ovor tho side.
" 'I wondor whether you'll hoo that
llttlo gal at Melbourne aula this trip,
1)111," huh Nud.
"Wlint git In that, Nod?' boh Joo,
who wna la thn myct bunk to him, and
t saw Rill's eyes screw up Ugh:, and
'e suddenly fell fnst nsloep.
'"I don't know 'er name,' ses Nod,
'but she was very much struck 'on
Rill; they used to go to tho theayter
"'Pretty gal?' ses Joe, leading
"'Rather,' ses Nod. 'Trust Hill for
that, e always gets tho prettiest gal
In tho place I've known as many as
six and Beven to'
"'Wot! screams Rill, waking up out
of Ms sleep, und jumping out of Ms
" 'It was only a llttlo joko o' mine,'
sen Ned, who saw 'o'd put Ms foot in it.
'13111 'ates 'em worse than worse than
"'Oh, very well then. I'm going to
'ave a bit of fun now,' ses Joe. 'HUH'
" 'Yes,' ses Hill.
'"I won't Mt Nod myself for fear I
Bhall do Mm a lasting Injury,' ses Joe,
'so you just start on Mm and keep on
till 'o tells all about your goings on
with that gal.
"'Hit Mm to mako Mm. tell about
me?' ses Rill, staring 'Is 'nrdest.
"'You 'card wot I auld,' ses Joe;
'don't repent my words., You a mar
ried man, too; I've got sisters of my
own, nnd I'm going to put this sort o'
thing down. If you don't down Mm, I
"Ned wasn't, much of a fighter, nnd
I 'nlf expected to seo Mm do a bolt up
on deck and complain to tho skipper.
Nasty, Low-Looking Little Chap Was
He did look like it for a moment,
then he stood up, looking a bit white
as Rill walked over to Mm, aad the
next moment Ms fist flow out, aad
afore we could tarn round. I'm blest if
Rill wnsn't on the floor. 'E got ap as
if 'o was dazed like, struck out wild
at Ned aad missed Mm, and tho next
moment was knocked down ngln. Wo
could 'ardly believe our eyes, and as
for Ned, 'e looked as though 'o'd been
doing miracles by mistake.
"Whon Rill got up tho secondtIme
'e was that shaky 'e could 'ardly stand,
and Ned 'ad it all 'is own way, aatil
ut Inst 'e got Hill's 'ead under Ms arm
nad punched at it till they was both
'"All right,' sos Hill; 'I've 'ad
enough. I've mot my master.'
" 'Wot?' ses Joe, starling.
" 'I 'opo I didn't hart you, mate,' ho
'"Hart mo?' roars Hill. 'You! You
art me? You, you llttlo bag o' bones.
"Walt till 1 get you nBhore by yourself
for five mlnlts, Ned Davis, aad thoa
you'll know what 'artlng means.'
"It was a aiystery to all of as, aad
It got worse aad worse as time went
on. Hill didn't daro to call Ms sonl Ms
own, although .Too only hit Mm onco
tho whole time, and tiea not very
hard, aad ho excused 'Is cowardlco by
tolliag as of a aiaa Joo 'ad killed la a
fight down la one o' tlwmt West End
"Wot with Joe's Sunday school ways
and Hill backing 'em ap, wo was all
pretty glad by tho time we got to
"Artor wo'd been thoro two or tliroo
days wo began to feel n'most sorry for
Rill. Night arter alght, wliea we wns
ashore, Joo would tnko Mm off and
look arter Mm, and at last, partly for
Mh sake, but mora to seo tho fun, Tom
Raker managed to think o something
to put things straight.
"'Thoro'il bo an end o' that bully
Ing Joo,' bos Tom, taking Rill by tho
arm. 'WVvo arranged to glvo Mm a
low son ns'II lay Mm ap for a tlmo.'
"'Oh,' hob Hill, looking 'nrd ut a
boat wot was passing.
"'Wo'vo got Dddgy Polo coming to
sua us lo-nlght,' sos Tom, In a whis
per; 'Ihore'll only bo tho second ollloov
aboard, and huMI likely bp njdoop.
Dodgy ouo o' tho host lluht-wolghtu
in An8tralln, nnd if 'o don't fix up Mis
ter Joe. it'll bo a pity.'
"At about ha'-past six Dodgy comet
nbonrd, and tito fun begins to com
mence. "He was a nasty, low-looking llttlo
chap, was Dodgy, very fly-looking and
ery conceited. I dlda't liko the look
of Mm at all, and anbearablo as Joo
was, II didn't -seem to ibequlte the
sort o' thing to got a chap aboard io
'ammer a shipmate you couldn't 'am
ill or yourself. ,
" " 'Ah' what's that la that bunk over
thero V' sos Dodgy, pointing with Ms
cigar at Joe.
'"Hush, be careful,' ses Tom, with
a wink; 'that's a prize flghtor.'
"'Oh,' sos Dodgy, grinning, M thought
II was a monkey.'
" 'Hill, who Is that 'andaome, gentlemanly-looking
young feller over there
smoking a half-crown cigar?' ses Joq.
" 'MMiat's a young gent wot's come
down to 'avo a look 'round, S03 Tom,
as Dodgy takes Ms cignr out of 'is
mouth and looks 'round, puzzled.
'"Take that lovely little gentleman
and kick Mm ap tho fo'c's'le ladder.'
ses Joo to Hlllt taking up Ms jacket
agla; 'and doa't mako too much uoif
over it, cos I've got a bit of a 'eadache,
else I'd do It myself.'
' 'Wot's the game?' ses Dodgy,
" 'I'm obeying orders,' ses Rill. M,nt
time I was In London, Joo 'ere half
killed mo one time, aad 'e made me
promise lo do as 'o told mo for six
months. I'm very sorry, mate, but
I've got to kick you up that ladder.'
"'You kick mb up?' ses Dodgy, 'with
a nasty llttlo laugh.
"'f can try, mate, can't I?' aos Hill,
folding Ms things up very neat and put
ting em on a locker.
"The rust blow Rill missed, and the
next moment, 'e got a tap on the jaw
that nearly bioke It, aad that was fol
lowed up by ouo in Iho eyo that sent
Mm staggering up agin tho side, nad
when 'e was there Dodgy 's lists were
rattling all round Mm.
"I believe it -was that that brought
Hill round, und the next moment
Dodgy was on Ms back with a blow
that nearly knocked his 'ead off.
Charlie grabbed at Tom's watch and
began lo count, and arter a little bit
called out 'Tlmo.' It was a silly thing
to do, as it would 'avo stopped the
fight then and thero If it 'adn't been
for M'om's presence of mind, saying
it was two minutes slow. That gave
Dodgy a chance, aad he got up again
nnd walked round Hill very careful,
swearing 'ard at the small slzo of the
"Ilo got. In three or four at Hill afore
you could wink a'moBt, aad when Rill
Mt back 'o wasn't there.
"Cahrllo called 'Time' again, and wo
let 'em 'ave five mlaatos.
"In five minutes more, though, it
was all over, Dodgy not being able to
seo plain except to get out o' Bill's
way and hitting wild. He seemed to
think the whole fo'c's'le was fall o'
Bills sitting on a locker and waiting to
bo punched, nnd the end of it was a
knock-out blow from the real Hill
which left. Mm on tho floor without a
soul offering to pick Mm ap.
"Rill 'elped Mm up at last and shook
hands with Mm, and they rinsed their
laces in the same bucket, and began to
praise each other up. They sat there
purring liko a couplo o cats, until at
lust we 'card a smothered voice com
ing from Joe Simmlns' bunk.
" Ms it all over?' ho asks.
" 'Yes,' ses somebody.
" 'How Is Hill?' sos Joe's voice again.
" 'Look for yourself,' ses Tom.
".Too sat up in Ms bunk then and
looked out, and lie no sooner saw
Bill's face than ho gave a loud cry and
fell back agin, aad, as true as I'm sit
ting here, fainted clean away. We
was struck all of a 'eap, nnd then Bill
picked ap tho bucket und threw .some
water over Mm, and by and by he
comes round agin and in a dazed sort
o' way puts his arm round Bill's neck
una oeguis iu cry.
"'Mighty Moses!' sos Dodgy Pete,
jumping up; 'it's a woman!
"'It's my wlfo!' ses Bill..
"Wo understood it ull then, least
ways tho married ones among us did.
She'd shipped aboard partly to bo
with Bill and partly to keep an eye
on Mm, and M'om Bnkor's mistake
about, a prize fighter had Just suited
her book bettor than anything. How
Bill was to get 'or homo 'o couldn't,
think, but It 'nppened the second of-
Peer had boon peeping down the
fo'c's'le, waiting for over so long for
a suit able opportunity to stop the
fight, and the old man was so tickled
about tho way wo'd all boon done 'o
gave 'or a passage back as stewardess
to look artor tho ship's cat."
What Is Succcii?
Ho has achieved success who has
lived well, laughed often and loved:
who has gullied tho respect of Intelli
gent men and the love of llttlo chil
dren; who has filled his ulcho and ac
complished his task;; who has left
Iho world hotter than ho has found It,
whether by uu Improved need, n per
fect poem, or a rescued soul; who hurt
ii i ii it 1 it i Is ik t ii ittiiuwil t I ttn tt niii'hi'u-
in um an nt'ii ujiint'iiMiti'ii ui n
.beauty or failed to express it; who
has always looked for tho boat in olh
ortt und glvuti tho host ho had; whot
llfo wan nu Inspiration; whoso niou:
ory a btinudlutluu. IJtuhvlllu Hullotlu.