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The Fairfield news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1881-1900, March 15, 1882, Image 1

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WEEKLY EDITION.^ WIXNSBORO, S. C., WEDNESDAY. MAECH 15, 1882. ESTABLISHED IN 1844.
Siiow Flakes.
Over the people the snow comes down ;
tOver the murky town :
Down in the grime,
And the sliruc,
or *
V'- Down in the dust,
And the crust,
Down from aloft, in fleeces soft,
V To be trodden in trampled soi!.
| So, out effceavec, sweet love is sent,
Sroftly to mortals lent;
"- > "Whitely it falls
te Over.walls
\ Anci* halls;
Purely descend?,
Till it blends
With life:
^nre as the snow, nntil dark below,'
'Under tramping of earthly strife.
Dark, in the tarnish'and tramp of met
Yet to be raised again;
Yet to aspire,
From mire,
S.ill higher;
Yet to arise
In the gnise
1 Of lov?;
? Out of moruing TT>ist, ecrenel. kissed
By the light -jf our Father -bove !
Xnfh>n<r
rtf >>pf>rr?r? lrwfc hfllftw
Earth caaiii t keep the snow
Over all chains,
^a<l pains,
And stainsLove,
gnto air,
!v. Li3? prayer,
- Above?
Ont of eaa thly mist, serenely kissed,
^ ' Shall arise to the Father of love!
?ColontlAJ.E. Duganne, in Essex Statesman.
The Gir! With the Red Ribbons.
e!
You ask me for a story, and here it
is. I have just returned from a visit to
Madison, where I found an old friend,
Thos. Golden, whom I had not seen
for more than fifteen years. Tom and
I had been classmates at the college,
and were intimate friends. He was al???
- ways of a highly jovial and social
nature, that is, when he was in the
society of his own eex; but bring him
into the presence of a woman and he
was immediately thrown into the most
embarrassb? diffidence. But he was a
Hod-hearted fellow, with an exterior
that was equally prepossessing. Of
course, I was as glad to meet him as he
was to see me ; especially so when he
tcld me he was married and happy.
"And who do you think 1 married?"
he asked.
I answered that I could not guess.
"Whys Anna Goidthorpe ?"
' What!" said I, "that beautifal old
flame of yours?the girl with the red
ribbons?"
"The same," he said ; "but had you
not forgotten her?"
"Forgotten her? No, indeed. 1 never
can fprget with what deep devotion
that girl loved you. I often envied
jou. Her charming blue eyes and the
perfect symmetry and loveliness of her
face are now as distinct in my memory
OO taJLLdl* auu JVU OCCUIC.U ov imvuuvavuv
% to her attractions that I almost thought
.yon cold-hearted."
Ir. justice to my friend, I ought to
say that I did not really mean what I
said. He was never cold-hearted?a
Mr man of mere generous impulses never
Hp lived ; iut his diffidence arose from an
Tmfamiliarity with the world. X" was
just about to recall my last remark
when Tom interrupted me with?
"No, William, I- was not coldhearted.
but I was simply a fool, and
my folly caused me years of suffering.
As an old friend, shall I tell you my
history?"
"Yes, Tom," I answered, "it would
interest me very much."
' Well," began my fri<' J, "when I first
met Anna Goldthorpf thought her the
handsomest woman 1 nad ever seen. It
was at Mrs. Denon's house I first saw
her?in the parlor. For weeks I had
sean her each day, and each time she
appeared the same?so affable, so graceful
and so like an angel of the household.
To tell the truth, I was not
merely in love but completely smitten
?9? so as 9717 hnv at nineteen.
who had never been in love, eou]d pos- j
eibh'be. Whenever she spoke it seemed
to me the sweetest of music. The
English language "was never spoken so
perfectly and purely as she spoke it."
"That is true," 1 interrupted; "her
words flowed with scch precision aud j
elegance, and yet without the least af-'
fectation, that I often wondered hew it j
was possible for one born abroad, as
she was, to so thoroughly master our
language and employ it in conversation
with so much effect"
"I think it was all owing to her perfect
modesty and angelic, graceful bearing.
But she shone only in private
pfrlors. In the society of a few, her
culture, her rare accomplishments, refit
cted a charm that was irresistable.
Like myself, she had avoided great
gatherings. She was more accustomed
^Acl%tArkoVvln rwirfioo r\f
IU it,UVO 1U LUC 4UOUW1AO^/?U vawv VI.
the country than I was. And as I had
never known that there was a difference
between a woman of the home circle
and the woman of society, I judged
Anna only from domestic love's standpoint.
But to proceed with my story.
"When that fatal ball at V 's
Hall took place, after you and I had
just graduated from the dancing seminary
you remember, 1 was the escort
of Miss Goldthrope. All the boys
knew that I was bashful, as you know,
and quite sensitive, and when I condueled
Anna into the brilliantly lighted
hall I began to feel actually uncomfortable
; as if guilty of something, I
knew not what. As we proceeded
through the long hall, I thought everybody
was looking at me and my companion.
I felt the hot blood rush to
my face, a timid nervousness overcame
me and my steps became irregular;
all of which the splendid mnsic
4P that just then struck np had no tenden.
cy to remove.
"At last we were seated, and still
appeared to me as if the whole party
were scrutinizing no, and I felt uneasy,
not knowing where to look to avoid
their glances. An occasional stolen
glance at my partner revealed to me a
blush on her cheek, which indicated at
least a'slight embarrassment on her part,
and which I at once attributed to some
awkward motion of mine, th9 direct resuit
of my unconquerable basnfulness.
If I could have sat there the entire
EjF evening without moving, it would have
^ _ been a greater pleasure than to get up
among all the people of the city and
expose myself in a blundering dance.
You see, while I was exceedingly bash.
y ful, I had no confidence in myself. In
the dancing school I c }uld beat all the
boys, but to get up right there for the
first time In my life at a grand soiree,
with a partner of my otto, was too
momentous for an unsophisticated
young man, as I was; bnt I did. A
waltz was announced, and I led Anna
npon the floor, and, before the music
began, we promenaded as the othei
dancers did. This familiarized me with
the floor and the gayety of the surroundings.
I noticed tiie gorgeous
trails, the elaborate coiffures, and, ir
fact, the general fashionable appearance
of the promenaders before me, and J
thought that Anna, who, when I caliec
. . for her, looked tome beautifully at
tired, was now clad quite plainly com
pared "with the other ladies. Her dre&
seemed to set well upon her, her har
was done np neatly, bnt yet how mncl
more elegant were the rest of the ladies.
This augmented my diffidence, and to
still more heighten my embarrassment
dnring the dance which followed, and
through which I worried the best I
could, Harry Black stepped up to me
and whispered in my ear?
"Tom, take care of those red ribbons."
I looked at Anna and saw, for the
first time, that she had about her neck
a red ribbon. I had not noticed it before,
and if I had, it would have seemed
all right; but Harry's remark, which I
tnougnt was tinctured witn a intie sarcasm,
confused my better judgment, and
the red ribbon became to me the most remarkable
part of Anna's toilet. It- did not
look uncomely in my eyes ; yet, if Harry
had noticed it and found occasion to
make sport of it, it must look out of place
to others. I looked about the room and
could not see another red ribbon among
all the lady dancers. It must look
awfully oat of taste. What induced Anna
to adorn herself so unfashionably ? I
thought. But I never stopped to think
that it might have been the custom in
the country from whence she came.
At any rate, this discovery, in addition
to my former embarrassment, made me
still more miserable. I danced only
twice after that, for the red ribbon of
my partner constantly flaunted before
me, and, as she was a stranger in the
city, no one else offered to dance with
her. An early hour, therefore, saw me
taking leave of her at the door-step of
her residence.
; " 'Would I call again ?' In my stupid
embarrassment I answered a mechanial
'Voa ' -orlnoVi T TAallv rlir? not meat!. As
much as I even then felt that I loved
her, the unfortunate termination of our
ball attendance, with those red ribbons,
so completely abashed me that I dared
not cail. I was a foolish boy, unworthy
her affections. I knew and felt that.
The next day my comrades had much to
say about the party and about the red
ribbons, and that but added more fuel
to my embarrassment, and, as this jesting
continued from day to day, the
boys perceiving that it annoyed me, I
determined to leave Madison.
"The last Sunday I was there 1 attended
the Episcopal Church. Before
the services began Anna came in also.
A pang shot through me as if I were
the greatest living culprit, and she was
to be my executioner; and I fear that I
was anything but a devout listener that
evening. After service I was one of the
f?-L J- -1 1, J
LLTbij OU.t? OX LLLtJ UUUTCil) onu.
my way leisurely homeward through the
Capitol grounds. It was a beautiful
summer moonlight evening, just cool
and pleasant enough for a stroll through
the park; and while I was mentally resolving
that I would walk fast to escape
meeting Anna, something seemed to
retard my steps, and I think I did not
walk so fast after all, for I had but jnst
entered the gate when she was just behind
me, and her sweet, musical voi;e
greeting me with, 'Good evening.'
"I was caught, willing or unwilling,
as you may take it. She accepted my
arm and we wandered long in the broad
paths under the grand old native oak
trees ; and talked of much?first with
no little hesitancy ; but, finally, under
the inspiration of the charming spot,
we became more fluent and more agreeable,
until our conversation reached its
former warmth and familiarity. But
4-1%^ cAimn TE7QC tonf; in
0JK5 VI LUU kJViXVW ?HV 4Jh.^s?rv
abeyance until we reached the house,
where upon entering the parlor, what
should I see upon her person but
these identical red ribbons. If
a ghost had appeared to me
then I could not have been more startled.
My conversation became incoherent.
My old embarrassment had returned,
and I soon felt the necessity of
terminating an interview which must
be painful to us both, but more especially
to myself. I retired in the best
way that 1 could without offending her,
for I still felt that I loved her?only
the ribbons!
"Jt was the last time that I saw her
for ten years. If I thought of Anna
once I thought of her every day, I
went to California and traveled a good
deal through the mountain regions of j
the Pacific slope; but go where 11
- - ? 1 x-??
would, Anna s sweet iacewasuuiistajiury i
before me. Contact with the world
could not blot out her memory; on the
contrary, it tended to show up my
error of the past. I began to realise
my utter want of judgment, or. rather,
my moral cowardice. I had loved the
girl with the utmost fervency before I
had seen her abroad, before the dazzling
lights of the ball-room, where
milliner and the artist, in the latest
st^es, had created a sham brilliancy.
She who sbone like the brightest diamond
in the home circle, became, in
my foolish, inexperienced eyes, a paler
light. I had estimated her by the
scale of fashion instead of by her heart
and her goodness. The best of women
are not always adapted to the great
assemblies of the fashionable world.
Their very modesty secludes them from
the more frivolous, gossiping world,
which grasps at any pretext, like the
red ribbon, to humiliate modesty and
virtue. All this I began to understand
and I was on the point of returning
home to seo Anna, acknowledge my
unfeigned love, and soek her hand.
But five years had passed, and I fell in
with a person from Madison, at Piacerville,
who informed me that Miss Goldthorpe
was married.
"This was a terrible blow to my newly
founded hopes. But I could not
reproach Anna. What e^idenco had I
given her that I reciprocated her love ?
"Five years more I worked and wandered
in the mines of the Sierra Neva
das, and then returned to the States.
Arriving at Prairie du Chien, and stepping
into the car which was to take me
to Madison, I met Frank Hood, who recognized
me at once, and, being glad to
see me, took a seat^by my side. I had
many questions to ask, and finally, too,
questions about Anna.
"She has pined for you these ten
years," said Frank.
"Bat isn't she married ?" I quickly
asked.
"No,'" he answered, "her sister, who
came to Madison after you left, was
married about six years ago. Anna is
still single, and, everybody believes, is
waiting for yon. But she hasn't seen
a well day since you left."
"Where does she live now?" I again
inrmired.
"At Madison. Yon must go and see
her. Don't think that her long sickness
has robbed her of all her former
beauty."
"This last, he said to me with a significant
look. As we thundered over
the track towards Madison, and Frank
kept talking to me about everything
that would have been of interest to me
on any other occasion, my thoughts
were constantly upon AnDa and I heard
but little that he said. My resolution
1 was at once formed. I would see Anna
and if she still loved me, no cruel jibes
' of boys, or red ribbons, should wrest
from me a prize which I bad lost for so
many years.
"I called at her house the very after1
noon of my arrival. A girl admitted
me, and, without announcing my name,
1 I asked to see Anna. In a short time
tbo door opened and she entered. A
> lock of recognition, and a startled crv
i:
1 escaped uti ups.
I "Well, I need not relate to too the
balance. Yon can snpply the rest with
I your imagination. Suffice it to say that
" Anna became my wife. She has regained
" her former health, and I am the happy
5 possessor of the best, the handsomest,
c and the most devoted wife?the gir3
1 with the red ribbons."
FOR THE FAIR SEX.
A Club of J11 led Bachelors.
A club of "Unfortunate Lovers" has
been formed in E!erne, England, and
already fourteen members have been enrolled.
Tbe chairman is a bachelor
whose rebuffs have been so frequent
that he dare not visit any family in j
the town lest he may be obliged to pass
the evening face to face with the maker
of one of his many mittens. The meeting?
are social, and no allusions are ever
made to the rascally little dart finger
and small god of woes.?Philadelphia
Times.
A Model Love Letter.
Here, young ladies, is a model Jove j
letter. Editor Ramsdell of the Washington
Gazette offered $5 for the best
written letter accepting an offer of marriage.
Gertrude Nelson pocketed the
half eagle by this elusion :
My Dear Donald: Fresh with the
breath of the morning came your loving
missive. I have turned over every
leaf of my heart duiing the day, and on
each page I find the same written, namely,
gratitude for the love of a noble
i man, humility in finding myself its
! object, and ambition to render myself
worthy of that which you offer. I will
try. Yours henceforth.
A Young Telegraph Operator.
Brown county, Texas, may properly
claim the youngest telegraph operator
in the world. The operator, Hallie
Hutchinson, is a little girl nine years
of age.
She handles her instrument with the
success and precision of an old operator.
Recently, when election returns
were coming in and the whole country
was wildly excited to know the result,
little Hallie sat at her instrument, her
eyes aglow with intelligence, and gathered
in the news from all over the
TTnnnn rcViila ^r?7-QTiR nf hrftTOTIV irwn [
crowded around to hear what the light- j
ning brought and to admire the wonderful
skill of the little operator.
While controlling the wires as she
does, Hallie is not unlike other little I
girls of her age in her habits and inclinations.
For instance, one end of :
her operating table is piled full of baby
dolls, and she spends a great deal of
her leisure time dressing and E.tu-sing
fchem.
A Beautiful Bridal Trosseau.
A magnificent bridal trousseau is
being prepared in this city for the
daughter of a wealthy Cuban. One
dress which the bride will wear at the
levee following her wedding is of ambercolored
satin over a. petticoat of 1 oyal
purple brocaded velvet. The o:ourt
train of the satin is made exceedingly
long, anu is covered with an exquisite
hand embroidery of purple pansies,
small golden roses and buds, and shaded
heliotrope blossoms and foliage.
The figures on the brocaded velvet j
petticoat are heavily outlined with am- |
ber-colored pale gold and heliotrope j
beads ; and at the feot of the skirt is a j
costly fringe ten inches deep made ex |
pressly for the dres3, formed of the j
xiniea ueaas oyer a uet-wuris. ull ucxcolored
and royal pu rple silk chenille.
The satin bodice is cut Louis XIV.
style, and trimmed down the sides and j
over the hips with beaded garni- J
ture. The amber-heed kid gloves to
be worn with the dress are to reach
within an inch of the strap over the
shoulder which serres for a sleeve.
A second dress of primrose pink satin
is completely veiled with ruffles of
oriental lace and garnished with garlands
of tea roses and foliage. The
traveling dress is of myrfcle-green satin
sublime, adorned wii;h wide bands of
shaded green feathers flecked with
gold, placed in double rows aronnd the
tunic, and Louis Quinze bodice. Over
this is to be worn a long traveling
cloak of darkest green ladies' cloth,
trimmed with a bordering and
deep Russian collar of real silver fox,
with muff and hat en suite. The bridal
robe is of white brocaded satin combined
with white moire and trimmed
with point lace. The veil is a marvel
of richness and beauty, and cost ?2,000.
Fashion >ote?.
Rings are worn again on the little j
finger.
Gold jewelry is losing the favor of the
moment.
Breakfast caps of null or silk are tied
with plush ribbon bows.
Large collars and collarettes grow
more and more in fashionable favor.
White brocaded petticoats have corsage
and train of myi-tle green velvet. !
There is a war between short skirts |
and demi-trained ones for evening i
wear.
All the new spring suits of cheviot,
cloth, flannel or homespun are tailor
made.
Mauve and heliotrope shades have returned
to popular favor for evening
dress.
Black velvet costumes trimmed with
shrimp-pmk feathers are en regie in
Paris.
Algerian plush is the latest novelty
in this universally popular trimming j
fabric. i
Buby shades in satin, plush and j
moire are mucn worr: dv oinneites tnis
winter.
It is impossible for a woman to look
as dignified m a short skirt as in a
trained dress.
Fillets are gain in gin favor in London
| and two or three steel bands are often
j worn in the hair.
Handkerchiefs of pongee silk or siik
I mull worn on the neck protect the skin
I from the dye of furs.
The style of figures on the new sateens
are in small flowers, leaves, and
stems in mele or jardiniere effects.
Japanese designs in mele effects, comI
bining lanterns, fans, birds and flowers,
j covers th9 grounds oJ: French foulards.
Some of the new American prints im
! itate the new striped Scotch ginghams
j so well as to be undistinguishable from
them.
Pretty combinations of color in
grounds and dots or designs are brown
on cream, blue on maize, and rose color
oh pearl.
; The grounds of many of the new sateens
are of shrimo Dink, shell pink,
j cream, pearl shades, and dark colors, I
j and also bkck.
New black silks have large polka dots
! moons, crescents, and leaves on plain
j satin, satin merveilienx, and satin de
j Lyon surfaces.
Plain sateens, in solid coioisto match
the grounds of piinted sateens, are i
shown for skirts of costumes to be com- j
posed of two stuffs.
I The waists of fashionable conven
tional dresses grow longer and longer,
! while those of aesth etic dresses grow
j shorter and shorter.
I The return of the p lain and unadorned
j ugliness of tne Empire dress is ex[
pected in Paris. It is as pretty and
j classic as a pillow case.
j Embroidery is quire as fashionable as
j lace, and both are used in combination
| on dresses, on accessories of the toilet,
j on underwear, and household decorai
tions.
j The jersey jacket , not a woven Jerj
sey, but a little garment simulating it,
j bnt with seams all the way down to the
! bottom of tho basque, and fastened
J with many small buttons down the
| front, is very fashionable.
A dainty walking dress for a little
. girl of twelve is made of peacock blue
l oashmere, the skirt "rimmed with two
i-'i- v-T ---Lli.
deep kiltings of the cashmere, the skirt
trimmed with two deep killings of the
cashmere, and double sashes and balayeuse
of oriental striped satin. The
graceful little Breton bodice has a
shirred plastron of the narrow striped
materials, and the Hungarian coat, to
wear outside, has a Stuart collar, deep
! cuffs, and pockets of the same bright
goods.
Some Curiosities of Food.
The Germans of New York, says the
News of that city, have stores in which
specially Teutonic delicacies are vended.
Dried, or rather smoked, geese is an
odd feature of these. Smoked geese
come from Pomerania, where their living
originals are raised in large flocks.
They are plucked for their down, and
then killed, cut in sections, very slightly
salted and smoked. Pomeranian goose,
however, costs twenty-five cents a pound,
and is esteemed a great dainty among
German epicures.
There are a couple of stores here
where Spanish edibles are dealt in.
These consist chiefly of nnts and dried
fruits. Dried goatmea; forms a favor
ite feature. It is prepared very much
as our dried beef is. The Spaniards
seem to rely more on their pecaliar
methods of cooking what they eat than
on any peculiarity of the food itself.
The peculiarity of the French food
stores are beyoDd comparison. The
question in regard to them is not what
they do, but what they do not sell.
There is probably nothing from a. section
of boiler iron or a cobble-stone,
down to a bent pin or a broken horseshoe
nail that a Frenchman cannot provide
a dressing for to make it appetizing.
An odd feature of the lYench
shops to an American is the horse-meat
department. They all deal in horseflesh,
both fresh, dried and ssltel.
Horseflesh sausages, made, or supposed
to be made, in Lyons, and called Lyons
sausages, are very popular. Sausage,
made of a compound of asses' 3esh,
pork and veal, also have an extensive
sale.
Sharks' fins, dried, are sold in every
Chinese shop in New York. They are
imported from China. There are three
Kinds, of wnicn tne Dest are tne nns ot
the white shark. These are worth 33.50
a pound. The poorest kind, which is
known as black shark fins, is sold for
half as much, and even less. Shark's
fin is a popular dainty among Chinamen.
It is salted and dried for export, and
looks like a section of whalebone when
raw, but boiled in water a gelatinous
substance is extracted, which i3 esteemed
very savory. A species of stew
made of shark's fin, dried oysters, rice
and peppers is a champion Chinese di&h.
Dried oyster? are ordinary bivalves,
extracted from the shell, dipped in salt
and strung on strings to dry in the sun.
They come from China, and look for all
the world like figs. John Chinaman
infinitely prefers them to the frenhest
of fresh oysters he can buy here. Mussels,
conks and clams are preserved by
him in the same way.
The famous bird's nest is also a feature
of any respectable shop in Mott
street. It is queer stuff to loot at, for
it rather resembles gravel than anything
vegetable or animal, and tastes a little
like gum arabic. The nests, it seems,
are dried and rubbed into these fraz
ments in the hand, when they are
packed for transportation. Bird's nest
is worth from $10 fo:r the commoner
variety to $25 a ponnd for the best. It
is essentially a lnxurv, for a ponnd of it
will only make sonp for at most forty
people, so that it rates higher than
tnrtle sonp in the dearest season. Another
dainty which Ah Sin has to have
imported all the way from China is
dried cabbage.
Some score or so of contributors to a
French sporting journal dined one day
npon the ham and heart of a lion, killed
by Constant Cheret in Algeria. The
flesh of the lion was fonnd to be particnlarly
firm and close-grained, like that
of a horse, bnt althongh pronounced
palatable, it only achieved what is
termed asucces (Tesitme, while the heart,
skillfully prepared with irnffles, was
unanimously voted tongh and indigestible.
"
Miniature Trees in China.
Wo VioT7A oil Vnriron frrvm fVhildlinnr?
how the Chinese cramp their women's
feet, and so manage to make them keepers
at home, but how they contrive to
grow minature pines and oak in flower
pots for half a century has always been
much of a secret. They aim first and
iast at the seat of vigorous growtn; endeavoring
to weaken it as much as may
be consistent with the preservation of
life. Take a young plant, say a teedling
or a cutting of a cedar, wheD only
two or three inches high, cut ofi its tap
root as soon as it has other rootlets
enough to live upon, and replant it in
a shallow Tearthern pot or pari. The
end of the tap root is generally made
to rest on a stone wiihin it. Alluvial
clay is than put into the pot, much of
it in bits. the size of beans, and just
enough in hi):d and quantity to furnish
a scanty nourishment to the plant.
Water enough is given to keep it in
growth, but not enough to excite a viperous
habit. So likewise is the application
of light and heat. As the Chinese
pride themselves on the shape of
tliAir minatnrfl traps. tliev use strincs.
wires and pegs, and various other mechanical
contrivances, to promote symmetry
of habit or to fashion their pets
into odd fancy figures. Thus, by the
use of poor soil and little of it; and
little water, any strong growth is prevented.
Then, too, the top and side
roots being within easy raach of the
gardener, are shortened by his pruning
knife or seared with a hot iron. So the
little tree, finding itself headed on
every side, gives the idea of strong
growth, asking only for life, and just
snongh to look well. Accordingly each
new set of leaves become more and more
3tunted, the buds and rootlets are diminished
in proportion, and at length
a balance is established between every
part of the trees, making it a dwarf in
every respect. In tome kinds of trees
this end is reached in three or four
y^ars; in others ten or fifteen years are
necessary. Such is fancy horticulture
among the Celestials.? Technologist.
Domeslic LoTe.
Dr. Holmes says: "I never saw a garment
too fine for a man or maid; there
never was a chair too fine for a cobbler
or a cooper or a king to sit in; never a
house too fine to shelter the human
head. These elements about us, the
glorious sun, the imperial sun, are not
too good for the human race. Elegance
fits man. But do we nut value these
tools a little more than thev are worth,
and sometimes mortgage a house for
the mahogany we bring into it? I iad
rather eat my dinner off the head of a
barrel, or dress after the fashion of
John the Baptist in the wilderness, or
sit on a block all my life, than comsume
all myself before I got to a home,
and take so much pains with the out- j
oiUU ILuXb LliC iuaiuc ?ao n ao an
empty nut. Beauty is a great thing;;
'out beantv of house garment and furniture
are tawdry ornaments compared
with domestic love, blithe elegance
in the world will not make a home
and I would give more for a spoonful of
real hearty love than for whole shiploads
of furniture 'mdall the gorgeousness all
the upholsters in the world can gather.
- mmwwm
Jonathan Breisford, aged 8i, and
Miss Elizabeth Kirby, aged 70, both ef
i Zanesville, Ohio, arc soon to be married.
mi 1 3 A1 " mi . 1 1
rne giaay irnngss xaey quarreiea
sixty years ago, and have just made up.
Same old story of never too late to
mend.
/
v'vcr ' -'-v.
Fruit in California.
Thinking that it might perhaps be a
matter of some interest to readers of the
Garden, I have from* personal inspection
written out a list of the fruit trees
growing in the open air upon a farm
near Niles, in Alameda county, thirty
miles southeast from San Francisco, in
the Santa Clara Yalley. We have the
ocean breezes somewhat modified by
the San Mateo mountains toward the
west. The amount of frost in winter
varies much with location in this valley.
A narrow belt near the mountain's
base on the east side is more
sheltered, and is best for the culture of
choice fruits and flowers.
We h&ve 10 rain during the summer,
or from May 1 to Not. 1?positively not
a shower sufficient to lay the dust; yet
we do not have to irrigate (except
young or newly set plants until established).
If the ordinary winter rains
are received, all manner of trees perfect
their fruits, and the cereals ripen
and most vegetables grow well without
artificial application of water.
Maize or Indian corn is planted in the
open field about May 5, and grows and
perfects without ever having had a
drop of rain, and without irrigation.
Sometimes barley ic-?6W3i for hay. in
December, and crk* in ApriJ. Then
maize is sown on the same land for a
late crop, and, unless the \rinter has
been late and more than usually wet,
the corn needs some assistance. For
cconomy in working it-the vegetable
garden is supplied with -Rater from
wells or ditches, and as fast as a bed
is emptied the soil is dug over, fertilized,"
and replanted.
The soil is rich and deep with an
underlying stratum of gravel thirty (
feet, down to which wells are bored.
and yield an unfailing supply. Nearer <
the Bay of San Francisco artesian wells :
abound, but on tbe farm of which we t
write tbe water is raised to tbe surface i
by wiDdmille and steam pumps. The 1
climate is delightful, healthy, and in- i
vigorating. Tbe farm under considers- i
tion has been occupied about thirty
years, but horticultural work was begun
here only eight years ago, and the won- 1
derful growth manifest is dne to soil f
and climate. Of trees now in bearing 1
there are forty varieties of apples, the '
earliest ripening the middle of June ; 1
four of crab apples, twenty-three of <
pears, the earliest ripening in June; <
twenty-one plums' and prunes; two of <
quinces; forty of peaches, extending in i
season from June 1 to November 1;
three of nectarines, seven of apricots, i
and eight of cherries, and eight of figs.
Beai les these, there are already fruiting
Japan persimmons, American per- 5
simmons, English walnuts, Persian
walnuts, Italian chestnuts, English filberts,
three kinds; oranges of six varieties,
lemons of-three sorta, citrons,
shaddocks, olives^the loquat of Japan,
the kamquat, or Japanese dwarf orange,
the grapes, both American and European;
of blackberries, currants, raspberries,
and strawberries, all the leading
varieties seer grown. The large
English gooseberries mildew occasionally,
owing to $16 hot sun, but the
Houghton seedling thrives satisfactorily
Passiilora edutis fruits in the open air
and stands the.yvter. The pomegranate
is u great fa*c">ite, both for bloom
and fruit. Besic^l these and others,
many useful plants have not yet fruited,
but are grovririg:Rapidly. Among these
are the three.-Lq?nfi asimind, tiie Japanese
chestnuts,carob, the j ajube
plum, the dagger) aim, the cork oak,
and bananas ofpyf.orts.
The list of ornafentai plants gTown
here is verv laige. ' Kennedyas attain
the size of tall shrubs or small trees; '
fuchsias, pelargoniums, and similar
plants bloom most of the year. The <
small ranges of greenhouses, hotbeds,
and cold frames are used chiefly for 1
propagation. Camellias xhododen- (
drons, azaleas, etc., are kept under a (
lath house shelter through the summer 1
months. Bnt, since the chie:! object of '
this list is to show how wide our range (
of fruit is, it seems out of place to con- ^
sider the ornamental department at 1
present.?The Garden. '
i
Benefits of Vaccination. (
D:r. Henry Thompkins, Medical Su- 1
peri:atendent of the Fever hospital be- .
longing to the Manchester Royal In- '
firmary at Monsall, in a paper which he ,
read recently at Owens College, said: ,
"The most striking of all evidences is, ,
perhaps, that derived from the small- ,
pox hospitals themselves. Here the
protective uiuucuub ux v auciiiabiuu la
proved in a manner beyond all cavil.
At Highgate, during an experience of
forty years, no nurse or servant having
been revaccinatea has ever contracted
the disease, and evidence of the same
character I can myself bring forward,
for during the whole time that I have
had charge of the fever hospital, more
than a thousand cases of small-pox have
passed under my care, yet no servant,
nurse, porter, or other person engaged
there has, afte:r. revaccination, ever
tafeea it, though exposed daily to infection
in its most concentrated form. One
woman, a laundress, who escaped vaccination,
took the disease and died ;
one :iurse, who some years before had
suffered from small-pox, and was then
considered protected, had a very mild
attack; and thiii summer a workman,
who did not live on the premises, but
camo in to work as a painter, v;as not
j ? J ^
vauc maueu, aiiu jiau xatnci ? acvcio uutack;
and still more recently a servant, !
who, by an oversight, was allowed to J
go about her work three days before '
being vaccinated, had, before the latter
had- run its course, a slight abortive
attack. Again, among all the students, :
who during the past few years have at- ;
tended the hospital for clinical instruc
tion, not one has suffered, all having
been revaeeinated before being per- j
mitted to enter the small-pox warda.
And in their case the false argument
which opponents of vaccination have
brought forward to explain the immunity
enjoyed by nurses and others in
attendance on the sick?viz , that constant
intercourse and exposure to infection
renders them proof against it by
' V. AAR 4/\ ill A
Idle BJbtttLLl UCUUIUJil^ XUU1CU tu tiic
poison, cannot be applied, as these gentlemen
attend the hospital odIv * few
hours once a week. I defy the most
enthusiastic or conscientious of antivaccinators
to produce evidence like
this on his side of the question, or to
bring forward even half a dozen per
sons, choose them whence he may, who
have not been protected against smallpox,
and expose them as the students
are exposed, without more or less of
the number taking the disease. Facts
such as these should convert the most
anti-vaccinator from his folly, and convince
him that a weapon of defense so
powerful as vaccination should not be
left to the pleasure of the individual,
but that the State has the right and
duty to look after its most thorough
performance."?London Times.
A Novel Railroad.
A new inventor is in the field with a
plan for a bicycle railroad which would
revolutionize locomotion. By this system
he claims that cars can travel 150
miles an hour without danger of an accident.
His plan is to build the road
on iron posts, the cars to be confined
in a latticed tunnel shaped below like a
Y and above like a V; there being a
track at the bottom and a track at the
top and wheels placed in the center of
the cars at the top and bottom to fit in
their tracks, instead of wheels on both
sides. The locomotive is to have driving
wheels fifteen feet high. We await
with interest the new road, and wonder
which will be first completed, it or the
Brooklyn bridge.?Hearth ond Horn
I
POPULAR SC1E3CE.
Prof. Forbes and Dr. Young have determined
by a number of experiments
that the speed of a bine ray of light exceeds
that of the red by abont one per
cent.
Director Burchard, of the United
States mint, estimates that abont 18 per
cent, of the annnal gold and silver production
in the United States is consnmed
in the arts.
Late measurements of the carbonic
acid existing at considerable heights
above the earth's surface appear to show
that the gas is pretty evenly distributed
throughout our atmosphere.
Lead-pencil marks cannot be rendered
indelible, but if the lines are washed
over with a clear solution of one-quarter
of an ounce of gum-arabic in six ounces
of water they will not rub out easily.
Violent atmospheric disturbances are
always attended with electric manifestations;
and, in & recent paper, Dr. Rogers
is disposed to consider the prevalent
theory of wind as erroneous, and believes
the real caase of air currents to
be eleciricity.
. It may not be generally known, says
the London Truth, that a man wearing
dark cloths is more liable to infection
from contagious disease than he who
wears light-colored garments, because
particles whijh emanate from diseased
or decayed bodies are much more rapidly
absorbed by dark than by light fabrics,
This is easy of proof. Expose a light
* 11 - - - ? J- - it . p - p L-y
ana aare coat to me rames 01 touacco
for five minutes, and it will found that
the dark one smells stronger than the
other of tobacco smoke.
It is well known that a black object
on a white ground will appear to be
much larger than it really is. A white
stripe, for instance on a black surface
seems broader than a black stripe on a
white surface, although both be of the
same width. This phenomenon of simultaneous
contrast is physiologically explained
by Pater Scherffer in this way:
When one of our senses receives a double
sensation, one of which is active and
strong while the other is weak, it will
be found that the latter is not felt,
rhis must be particularly the case when
ooth impressions are of the same kind,
or when a strong effect from an object
on one of the senses is followed by an)ther
of ihe same kind which is milder
ma weaser.
SVhen Custom House Duties are Paid,
The cashier's office performs only a
small portion of the work of the Cus;om
House in all its branches, but as it
.3 one of the main resources of the
public purse, it is perhaps the most
nteresting. As one passes along the
lingy corridor he catches tight of the
hree lines of men cramped and crooked
kround in the little room, boys and
jrav-haired men, with their little
jutta-percha boxes full of gold ready
;o be emptied into the capacious
pockets of Uncle Sam.
In a small room on the main floor of
;he New York Custom House, and ocjupying
the southwest corner of it, the
iashier, with a force of fifteen clerks,
receives all the money for duties levied
Dy the government on imports, exports,
jxcepting the small amount assessed on
:>assenffers' bascasre. which is collected !
)n the wharf.
Some idea of the amount of business
lone in this office may be gained when
it is stated that the money received in
i single day has several times lately
imoiuitei to $1,000,000, and the numser
of entries made has exceeded 1,000.
The manner in which this large araotmt
)f money is collected is as follows :
The merchant or broker's clerk, after
arst making ont his entry in the rotnnda
jf the buildiner, where the amount of
luty is calculated on the entry by the
mtry clerks, takes his place in the line
before any one of the receiving
jlerks, and deposits the amount of
ais entry in a small box, and with it a
ticket on which he has entered the mershant'sname,
with the date and the sum j
inclosed, whether in gold, silver, notes, I
Dr certificates.
Gutta-percha boxes are used to present
unnecessary noise from" the clinking
of the coin. The receiving clerk
takes the box of money, and hands it
? 4-a11a? 4-a Anfrrr ir? a
?U a l/CAJLV5I. 0^/ vuuuu 11vuw VMUij AM c* j
blotter. The teller does not look at
the cash ticket until he has counted
the money and marked it on the back
the ticket. Ho then tnrns it over,
ind if the count is correct, he checks
it, and returns it to the receiving clerk,
srho then signs a permit for the goods.
The entries then go to the book-keepsrs
who enter the amount on "sheets,"
md at the close of the day the money is
:ounted and compared with this record.
3f the book-keepers.
So carefully is this system carried
Dut that there is rarely a variation of a
;ent between the money and the accounts,
and the office has thereby gained
the reputation of being more exact than
my other similar institution in the
sountry which handles such an amount
af money coming in so many different
payments, from $5 to 85,000.
Should any discrepancy occur, the
jlerks carefully compare both sides of
the tickets with the clerk's blotter ; and
then the blotter is checked oil with the
book-keeper's sheets. By some of these
methods the error is certain to be discovered.
As account is kept of each
kind of money separately, the tellers
can see at a glance if a mistake is made
in the gold, silver certificates, or note s.
When the coin has been counted and
put into small canvass bags it is placed
in boxes holding 820,000 in gold.
These boxes are put in a hand cart outside
the building and wheeled to the
sub-treasury, which gives a receipt to
the custom house for each deposit.
Nearly a ton of coin has to be transferred
daily in this manner. An officer
fully armed accompanies the porters,
and there are also armed men in the
cashier's office. The cashier, clerks hnd
QCiiClO aio 1UCii Ox gmui^uvj y v^v
responsibility of the office makes their
position more permanent than that of
the average custom house officer. The
tellers acquire great skill in detecting
counterfeits as well as in rapid counting.
Some of tha ways of counterfeiting
which come under their notice are
curious.
Commodore Vanderbilt'* "Widow.
Commodore Vander'oilt's widow came
originally from Mobile, and bad a great
influence over the commodore. She
has lived a very quiet life since the
commodore's death, spending most of
lier leisure in opening love letters and
prosecuting the charities which he undertook.
She frequently sits np with
her secretary until midnight answering
the letters, not the love letters. The
number of proposal she has received
for her well-endowed hand, since the
commodore was taken from her side, is
estimated by those who are nearest to
her, to be between 500 and 2,000. Many
of them are accompanied by photographs
which wildly and vainly endeavor to set
forth the charms of the writers. These
missives furnish no end of amusement
to the family at No. 10 Washington
Place. But Mrs Vanderbilt, though
barely thirty-six, and a prepossesing
woman, declares that she will marry no
more, and she smiles upon no suitor
Gossip?many-eyed and many-tongued
?is not even busy with her name. A
resident of the western Carolinas is
among the most recent who have sought
her hand. He naively and innocently
assured her that he had knocked together
a little cabin of his own, and if
she would only be his he "would support
her as long us she lived."
The Life-Saying: Senice.
It is no longer a marvel that the
American life-saving institution has
taken so firm a hold of the public heart.
The territory which it guards?ten
thousand or more miles?is divided into
twelve districts. The Atlantic coast
presents one long succession of varied
dangers, beginning with Maine, where
the capricious currents are forever playing
sly games about the narrow capes,
reefs, sunken rocks, and peaks of islands
half submerged, paving the coast like
the teeth in a shark's jaw, taking in
Cape Cod, that great arm of sand forty
miles outward and upward, with its
half-sunken, ever-shifting sand-bars,
the islands and the rough, rocky points
on the Rhode Island coast?dreadful
to mariners ?and the long, unpeopled
six hundred miles of beach from Montauk
Point, Long Island, to Cape Fear,
North Carolina, terminating with the
arid coral formation of the coast of
Florida, five hundred miles in extent.
The great lakes, a group of enormous
inland seas, with twenty-five hundred
miles of American coast-line, are subject
to sudden and violent gales, which pile
up seas so stupendous that anchored
vessels are swept fore and aft, often
causing their complete destruction;
while others, --running ftJr^sftSRer'in
harbors, miss the narrow entrances, and
are blown helplessly upon jutting piers,
or the still more dangerous beach. The
stations consist of three classes, sever
ally denominated life-saving stations,
life-boat stations, and houses of refuge.
Each of the twelve districts is provided
with a local superintendent, who must
be a resident of the district and familiarly
acquainted with its inhabitants.
His compensation is one thousand dollars
per annum, with the exception of
those on the coasts of Long Island and
New Jersey, who, having too many
stations to look after to attend to other
business, are paid fifteen hundred
dollars apiece. These officers are
required to give from twenty to thirty
thousand dollar bonds as disbursing
agents, being intrusted with the payment
of the men under them in addition
to their general duties. They are
responsible for the selection of the
keepers of the stations?a duty requiring
much knowledge and excellent judgment?who
are not,however, confirmed
without the acquiescence of the inspector,
who is supposed to have no local
interests or prejudices. The orews are
chosen by the keepers. The keepers
and crews are examined by a board of
/*Anoio+ir>/? Af on aI I
i a J V* uu V#
the revenue marine, a surgeon of the.
Marine Hospital Service, and an expert
surfman whose qualifications are well
known, to determine by a judgment
wholly impartial their character, good
health, and general fitness. This board ]
is empowered to dismiss all incompetent
men on the spot, and require the
keeper to employ others without delay.
The whole work is under constant inspection.
An officer of the revenue
marine, Captain James H. Merrjman,
is ths chief inspector, and assigns from
his office in New York, an assistant inspector
to every district. The stations
are visited frequently, and the men
examined in the exercises of the apparatus
drill, and obliged to give verbal
reasons for every step in their operations,
They are trained with tbeir
life-boats in the surf, in the use of the
life-dress, in saving drowning persons
by swimming to their relief, in the
methods of restoring the_ partially
drowned, and in signaling. Everything
in and about the stations moves with
military precision. When a wreck is
attended with loss of life, a rigid examination
follows to see if any of the men
have been guilty of misconduct or neglect
of duty. The keepers are empowered
to protect the interests of the
government from smuggling, and they
guard all property that comes ashore
from a wreck until its rightful owner
appears. They aro charged with the
care and order of the stations and the
boats and apparatus; and they must
keep accurate accounts of all receipts
and expenditures, journalize all transactions
and maintain all necessary correspondence
with superior officers.
! Thus it appears they must possess a
certain amount of education and high
integrity, as well as surfmanship, intrepidity,
and commanding qualities.
They are paid four hundred dollars
I each per annum. The crews receive
forty dollars per month during the
active season, which upon the sea-coast
is from September 1 to May 1, and i
upon the lakes from the opening to the
close of navigation, or from about May
1 to December 15.?Harper's Magazine.
now IU lnm n ACIUSCUC juamyt
There is such a vast difference in both
the quantity and quality of light promised
by a common coal oil or kerosene
lamp when properly trimmed and that
produced by the same )?mp when improperly
trimmed, that it is surprisI
ing ho"* any one of ordinary intelligence
and observation can be satisj
fied to use, even for a single hour, an
| imperfectly trimmed lamp. Yet, strange
! to say, a large proportion of the milj
lions of kerosene lamps that are in
' nightly use are not trimmed as they
should be. Careless housekeepers and
stupid servants think "it will do just as
well," in trimming a lamp, to break the
charred wick with the fingers, to saw it
with a rough knife, or to haggle it with
a pair of dull shears, as it will to clip
i it smoothly and evenly with a sharp
j trimmer. But people who are faatid!
ions enough to care for a light they can
I read, write, sew or do any kind of work
by, -with satisfaction and comfort, know
that such is not the fact.
Since kerosene came into use as a
light producing agent various implements
for trimming lamps have been
patented and placed upon the market;
bat, after a pretty thorough examination
of the most of them, I incline to
the belief that nothing has yet been invented
for the purpose quite so conve- I
nient, cheap and effective as a pair of j
ordinary, medium-sized scissors. To
do the work properly, however, the !
scissors must be sharp, for it is impos- j
sible to trim a lamp perfectly without I
a sharp trimmer.
The belief is quite general that to
prevent a lampwick from flaring at the I
corneis and bieaking the chimney, it j
must be cut -ounding, to correspond j
with the cap or cover of the burner. |
i My experience, however, coupled with !
close and careful observation, leads me i
to the conclusion that the way to trim a j
Jamp so as to secure ine Dest result
?to get the most and pleasantest light
with the least breakage of chimneys?
is to cnt the wick parallel with the top
of the burner.
When ready to trim the lamp remove
the chimney. Raise the cap of the
burner. Tarn up the wick and with a
pair of sharp scissors clip it even with
the top of the tube. Be careful not to
cnt or squeeze the tube with the
scissors. See that no lint or thread remains
on the wick, and that it has not
been pushed out of its perpendicular
position and cut diagonally. Close the
cap over the tube, put the chimney in
place, and the lamp is ready for use. If
these directions are strictly followed it
will, when lighted, yield a broad,
straight-edged flame, withont a notch i r
indentation in it, and fnrnisK^a clear,
pleasant, steady light. Try iv, and see.
"Man and wife are all one, are they ?"
said she. <lYes ; what of it ?" said he,
suspiciously. "Why, in that case,"
said his wife,' 'I came home awfully
tipsy last night, and feel terribly
ashamed oi myself this morning." He
never said a word.
RELIGIOUS READING.
Preparation.
We all like to drink from a fountain
which overflows. Gashing springs are
' /-."Uy-vrs 1A !.-r?arr? mf\y*
b Weeo. X lie toiiuuci ouuuiu iuivh
than she is required to teach; then
teaching is easy, and to be taught is
easy. But- when the teacher neglects
all preparation until Sabbath comes, or
goes before the class without study,
and tries to satisfy her class by pumping
at a well which has nothing in it,
| she disgusts herself with herself, and
disgusts her pupils both with herself
1 and the truth. Overflow, and then it
will be easy for you and them.
The Christian Life a Walk.
The Christian life itself is a walk.
Frst, we learned that a man is a cripple.
Secondly, that the beginning of the
Christian 1 i'e is a leap. And thirdly,
the Christian life is a walk. Some people
wom fn t.hint that it is a sort of a hop,
skip, and a jump, all the way along.
Bat this is a mistake. It is a walk. It
is a sort of tramp, tramp, tramp; a
steady walk ? It is described in the
Bible as a walk. "If we walk in the
light as he is in the lightv we have fellowship
one with another, and the
blood of Jesns Christ His Son cleanseth
us from all sin." Again, in one of the
earliest biographical notices we fbd in
literature, the Bible refers to a man
named Enoch, and we have his whole
life, summed up in the statement that
he walked with God.?E. Jruison.
Religious News and Note*.
The pew rentals of Dr. Lorimer's
new church in Chicago, the Emmanuel
Baptist, for the present year, aggregate
more than $10,000.
An unsuccessful attempt was made at
the recent Lutheran Conference in Philadelphia
to have discussed the question,
"Is it prooer to baptize insane persons?
mL- TT>--or-1 - /-KT -v \
JLU6 -OULLcVIU ^i.1. -L J JJUiiuaj -cvyA-Lwwi
Association, comprising 27 schools, reports
for the year 1881 about 140 conversions,
in a total average attendance
of 4,943.
Francis Murphy is progressing with
his temperance work in Forfair, Scotland,
where he is carrying on a crusade
against the liquor shops. In two days
about 1,200 persons signed the pledge.
Dr. Charles S. Robinson has received
into the Memorial PresbyterianjChurch,
of New York city, during his 11 years'
pastorate, 666 members, and nearly
$500,000 been raised for various
purposes. \
According to the recent census the.,
population of Greece is 1,677,478, of
whom 1,625.698 belong to the Orthodox
Church; 14,677 are members of other
Christian Churches; 3.392 are nonChristians,
and 2,652 are Hebrews.
At a fair in Mr. Spurgeon's church
recently, he intimated at the opening
what he thought should be the style of
purchasing, by teHing the story of a
gentleman, who, on his way home one
dark night, was encountered by a footpad
with the demand, "Your money
or yonr life." The gentleman's reply
was, "Yon can't have any money, I have
been to a fair." The highwayman imme
&?tely recognized the force of the reasoning
and even offered a contribution.
Opening a United States Court.
A Washington letter tells in the following
how the United States District
Court is opened: All courts are to the
laity queer places. There is a certain
amount of ceremony and procedure
which, to the casual looker-on, has
neithar rhyme nor reason. As an in- !
stance, I will cite the "calling" of a defendant
or plaintiff when it is well
known that he is absent and cannot possibly
respond, but heis "called,"and the
record is made up against him. The
peculiar formula used in opening court
oiirt+Viof nnaar thine, and here in !
Washington it is wonderfully queer.
Just imagine that before the court begins
any business whatever, a man of
medium size, but with lungs like the
bull of Bashan, steps up to the end of
the judge's taps with his knifehandle,
and iD a voice that could be
distinctly heard in a hall of 20,000, calls
out, "Come to order, gentlemen; hat&
off." He waits a moment, glances
around the court-room, lays his left
elbow on the desk, straigtens himself,
drops his head upon his breast, closes
his eyes, fills his lungs with several
cubic feet of air, then he says in a vol- j
ume of voice as big as the British cyclo-1
pedia: "Ho-o-o-h yees." He pauses and
gathers bis breath again, and the second
flood of sound roils out: "Ho-o-o-h
yees." Those who are accustomed to
it turn to those who are strangers ill the
court-room and say: "How's that
for a voice?" And the answer is:
"Why, he could be heard a mile.
Meanwhile the cryer is swelling up
for the next thundering utterance, and
he belches out: "Ho-o-o-o-h yees " He
pulls in a mighty breath and bellows:'
"Sa-w-w'l pers sa-awing bees misfor
thou bull ju-u-dge s'preme court th'dees
strickclum " He gathers himself again,
his chest expands, his eyes close, an^
he goes on: "Na a-a-ould dingecrimnal
term." Another gathering of the Borean
forces and: "Draw-aw-aw near, gun
give ver ten dunce the courtsnaw pen!"
As he utters the last part the thunder
runs suddenly down to a zephyr all
muddled in together, and he is hall-way
down the steps.
It took one man, he was from Ohio,
four days to translate the cryer's conundrum.
By those who know what his
business is, to-wit, to open court, no effort
is made to guess whether he is calling
"oldrags" or "so?o?o?ap." They
let him wind up and run down, and then
go to business. The result of a careful
investigation showed that the call never
? - i --1 xl. -
varies. Lite tiie cogs in a wneei w
words move in the groove every time.
"When the Ohioan had finally wrestled
the conundrnm out, he found it read as
follows: ,:0 yes, 0 yes, 0 yes, all persons
having business before th9 honorable
jndge of the supreme court of the
District of Columbia, now holding its
criminal term, draw near and give your
attendance. The court is now open."
Men Who Make Good Husbands.
As a rule the men who are favorites
with their own sex are the truest and
best in their relations to women. The
men who like sometimes to "go aw?y
with the fellows'' and have a rousing
time on the water, the mountain or the
?eld, are the men we mean. Women
need never to fear to trust their happiness
to those whom men, good and true,
esteem as good fellows. But if a man
is avoided by men, shun him. He is
the man who, when he marries, wrings
? * - i? ?
ills wife's nearc, 11 sae iu?s uuc, auu
spoils her temper, if sl^e is naturally an
angeL Manly men are the best lovers,
the best hnsbands, tho best companions
for women, just as womanly women are
the best sweethearts and wives. What
do we think of women who shun their
sex, however charming men may find
them? It is seldom, if crer, that your
men's favorite ill-uses his wife. Perhaps
it may be explained in this way.
Friendship of a sublimer sort is what love
becomes after a year or so of marriage,
and he who is friendly to the very
depths of his soul enters into this state
happily, and is ready for the happinest
that follows. But a man who is capable
of nothing but a fleeting affection.
which ever pursues a new object, anc
cares for no woman when she is won
Viotm tlia domestic ties, and become!
detestible in consequence. It is th<
man who would die for his friend, an<
lor whom his friend would die, wh<
makes a miraculously happy wife of th<
woman to whom he scarcely knew ho*
i ho make love when he courted.
The Girl He'll Wed.
I shall wed a fair {esthetic,
Quite regardless of expense,
All I ask is that she's utter,
And ill all things quite intense.
T imn rtf ronrsp. and lank she must be.
Clad in minor tones of green,
Consummately eoulfal, earnest,
Must she be, my pretty queen.
We shall feast on lilies dailv,
Quaffing draughts of beauty fair
With a dish of ferns on Sunday,
Or a peacock's feather rare.
Thus shall flow our lives forever,
Like too gently gurgling rills, % .
Breathing poesy and too-too,
And her dad shall foot the bills.
?Andrews' Queen. '
HUMOROUS.
"Money makes my ma go," said little
Skeesicks, when his mother, armed with
a ?20 greenback, left for a down-town
shopping tour.
"There is no accounting for tastes."
Nonsense! What is the work of a bookkeeper
in an eating house but accounting
for tastes?
A German astronomer has discovered
a new planet. Anybody who misses
any of his planets should make a note
of this.?Siftings.
It is now believed that the fixed stars
were placed so far away in order that
the patent medicine man couldn't get
there to paint the rocks.?New York
Pat
Postal savings banks have gone into
operation in France. All the postoffices
in the country are open to receive deposits
up to $400 at three per cent,
interest.
A scientist claims to have discovered
a kind of wasp that doesn't sting. He
must have had a heap of fun experimenting
before he found it?Lowell
Citizen.
Lawyer to witness.?'-You've brass
enough in your face to make a fortygallon
kettle." Wiiness to lawyer.?
'And you've sap enough in your head
to fill it." Ja
It does break up the landlord of a
hotel to have a guest say: "Landlord,
I think it would be an improvement if
this shoebrush had another hair in it." .
?Boston Post.
"Pa, why do they call 'em high
schools?" "It's because we pay so
much for 'em, my son. You'll understand
these things better when you get
to-be a taxpayer."
Hens scratch up flower beds only
when they are barefooted. Ifc is strange
no one has ever tJuonght to go into the
garden and "shoo" the hens to keep
them from doiBg damage.
A New York man was imprisoned
thirty days for stealing fifty cents.
Served him right, the miserable rascal.
He should have stolen half a million
dollars and bought in the court.
An old sailor was observed to be
always hanging about the door of a
church when a marriage was taking
place. Ee explained that he liked to
see the tidfegoing out.?Saturday Night.
Another Indian war has happiJy been
averted. Two boys aimed themselves
with a seven-barreled revolver, and were
j ast about to depart to slaughter Indians
when nipped by the unromantic police.
Toward the conclusion of a diplo*
j maiic dinner, a Frenchman selected a
toothpick from a tray lying,, near him,
I on/1 nnlifalv rwissmi tbft W?C27>fcaeIe to
his neighbor, a Turk, who declined his ? "T5
offer, exclaiming: "No, thank you; I
have already eaten two of these things,
and I want no more."
A lecturer was once in a dilemma
which he will probably never forget.
While talking about art he ventured the
assertion, "Art can never improve nature."
And at that moment some one
in the andience cried ont in a gruff voice,
"Can't he? Well, then, how dj you
think .you would look without your wig? .
Farmers are now studying how to reI
cuperate old orchards so that they will y ?
j yield more fruit. The best method
1 ?1-./V +? lvnil/3 Viom oil At#r mwiin. . ..:Ss
j numu w uu MUliu UUVAM vv? ?0 ,
and have the trees made loDger in the
neck and broke out with a thorn eruption,
so that the average boy wouldn't
take any interest in them. They'd yield
more fruit then, surely,?Rome Sentij
A bear undertook to break into the
j house of a Wisconsin man one night,
while the man was out. The man's
; wife heard the bear, and. iu the dark!
ness, thought it was her husband
| coming home late. When the bear got
: away he didn't stop running until he
got nine miles, and you couldn't coax
him to go within a thousand miles of
that woman again. And if the'd
known it was a bear, and not her husband,
she would probably have fainted
and been devoured, and the old man is
awfnl scrry it didn't happen that way.
Eev. Miss Oliver, in advising young
l men how to avoid extravagance, and to
! v.nii/1 Vicittias fnr themselves. savs that
every time they drink a gla.<-s of beer
they swallow five bricks. If Miss Oli-.
ver's assertion is true, we know "a man
who, at the lowest calculation, carries a
j row of four-story tenement houses ini
side him. We do not drink beer, and
therefore do not know how it feels to
have our eternal economy hampered
with a brick yard. Miss Oliver does
not inform us as to what kind of building
material a person swallows when
he drinks champagne. We o^esume
it is some of the ornamental kind, because
the other morning, after attending
a banquet, we felt as a marble
mantelpiece and a carved granite cornice,
that had no business there, were
jostling themselves inside us, and we
determined to stop drinking the se5?-?
/TrtncVuim* AT?d
aacivts juiuv vi uw
build for ourselves an ancestral mansion
with marble lined corridors and
hot- and cold baths on everj^floor.?
fit 'ngs.
A White Raler in Africa.
John Dunn, one of the thirteen kinglets
among whom, by Sir Garnet Woisely's
agency, Zaluland was divided,
' differs from his twelve brethern not
j only in being a pure-blood ?:<ropean
! while they are stark savages, but also
I in reserving to himself in an especial
j way privileges of cutting timbers with
I tne right to mine and seek for miner!
als, divert streams, cultivate unplowed
j lands, advance or retard trade, in
such and so complete a way tnac ne
has, as it were, the right of ingress
egress and regress every ^here that his .
authority extends. His country, next
to the Tugela, and bordered to a great
extent by the sea. Las within 'it one
landing place, Tort Damford, where, it
may be remembered, a noteworthy
failure to secure a safe debarkation delayed
the operations of Sir Garnet
Wolsely in the winter of 1879. Donn
has imposed, after the Natal fashion, a
hut tax on his people, amounting to
i five shillings per hut, payable in cash,
every penny of which he keeps himself
' for his own purposes. Dunn is a Kaffir
> Chief with European skill to raise a
* revenue for himself. He taxes all wag
ons going into his country to the ?
amount of $25, and he has the right anfiL"
I the power to lay an embargo on^-611
> trade at wilL He is a clever, observant,
i brave man, who means to uake money
3 fairly and rule reasonably if he can;
1 but he takes thought to himself because
* -*?*- - -- 'v.arnai-tfti/vn " and haa
) H? is "Wise ixi mo (5cuw??? _
3 no guarantee for the permanency of his - A
" office, one created by whim and of most "vgaM
uncertain tenure.
:j
I

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