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PUBLISHED W EErY.
PICKENS, SOUTH CAROLINA.
Sunday fun too often ends in a fu
Properly muzzled ogs are bitig
very few persons this season.
In the case of a hot wave it Is pleas
ant to speed the parting guest.
To be certain of finding buried treas
ure, dig in your vegetable garden.
The pistol In the house generally
gets somebody into trouble sooner or
Fathers. teach your boys how to
swim-if you have to learn first your
Persons who don't like to have their
pictures taken usually show it in the
A large per cent. of the marriages
turn out happier than the gossips iu
agine they will.
There's another advantage that ac
crues to a higlibrow-his straw hat
stays on in 4 gale.
The pitch for tuning pianos has
been increased from 435 to 438 v'lbra
tions. More misery.
Porch sleeping is regaIning popu
larity. It is all right until the early
milk man begins to arrive.
One mad dog can cause more ex
ciltinent in a community than a thou
sand that are safe and sane.
Likewise, wo are advised to swat
the tussock moth. Of coluise we all
know what a tussock moth is.
An Atlanta man has been orderedil
by the court to kiss hiR wife at le st
once a day. Servs lim right.
An Indiana minister died from tie
effects of being kitten by a catfish.
Let's have the crinfish muzzled.
Few people er.joy a run on a bank,
but a run on the bank of a swimmin'
bole is a popular pastime these days.
flefore going too far let us reflect
upon the fact that abolishing war
would soon leave us without colonels.
"Aost Americans eat too much,"
opines a New York physician. Like
wise, some physicians talk too much.
New York contemplates having Its
policemen wear lIed Cross badges.
Better make them double-cross badges
Even the old oaken bucket Is un
Aer the han these days. Ilealth is
worth a wholhi lot more than senti
One way to keep cool and at the
same time mnirthfdl is to go dow n
Into the bnsemen' and look at the
SI Some married men don't seem to ac
complish arny more no0w than they did
when women wore 22 buttons down
Vassar college announces its fif
tieth birthday, but none of the grad
uates admit that they were in at the
A Chicago woman, suing for divorce,
satps that she won her husband on a
jte.. And now she's trying to welch
"Overwork." says a physician. "is
the curse of the day." True, but
what is a man going to do when be
needs the money?
The big cotton crop is likely to help
make woolen goods che'aper by low'
ering the price of cottonl to mix with
the "all-wool" fabrics.
Mirrors installed its street car piat
forms, instead of inducing w'omen to
alight properly, might prevent them
froem alighting at all.
It is nlow claimed that Ananiiias died
of heart failure. Somebhody probabbly
told him about the clubL that was to
be named in his honor.
A Chicago clergyman declares that
the tree is man's best friend. It is
certainly a great c.onvenience in a
field where there is a cross bull.
And apropos of the present situa
tion, not even the most experienced
weather sharps can predict accurate
ly how the lightning Is going to strike.
4The clergyman who claims that An
atias (lied of heart failure and not
' of prevar'ication will probably toil
us that 13aron Munchausen was an
A Cleveland woman was cured by
a surgical operation of an abnormal
desire to play the piano. Other per
sistent pic~no players should consult
It is stated that Boston is to have
a hospital for thle rich. Stili, the man
of sense, whether rich or poor, would
prefer to stay outside of even the
most gilded of' hospitals.
Two million trees hav'e been plant
ed in Kansas this year. Good. When
Kansas gets a suilicient number of
shade trees it may become easier .Cor
her tonfind harest hsna.
H FJ return to America of Mr. and
Mrs. Nicholas Longworth after their
honeymroon trip abroad gav'e to
lIelpresentative Henry S. Itoutell,
liepublican, of Chicago, an opipor
tunity to have considerable fun at
the expense of the D~emocrats. it
is knowni of course that one great
political party looks to TPhoimas .Jef
ferson as the apostle and1( prophet
of the simple dlemocrat ic life, and1(
knowing this, Mr. lioutell, who ap
jiparently had been reading some
ancien(t records, tried his best to
undermine the "'simipie life" pedelstaI upon which
Thomas Jeffersonl standls.
There were some peopile apparently who thought
that Mrs. I ongworth, who is ex-Presidlent Roose.
velt's dlaughter, might return from hor honeymoon
trip abiroad, where she was treated in a measure
1l1k0 a royal personage, in a frame of mind in which
pridie w\as dlominant and that she might hav'e lost
somne oif her American simpjlicity. Representative
lIoutell madei a speech which of ':ourse did not
have .\rs. Longworth for its
central sublject, but he in
troduced nat t Iers by saying
that she would( return to
Arniericn, "nlot Princess
Al ice, but the same nuodes t,
u((tLssumitimg daughter of the
preside(nt t hat it was her
wont to be."
M rs. Iam gw( rthi'1(1 1am in
to Mir. lItutell's speech only
as a i n i cii t of dii scourse,
the liublicanm rep'resenita
tive's iaoin initen(tion being
appa rentIly to1 at teniuPt to re
fute the statement nade byI
lt(epresentative Wheeler of
Kent ucky that the liepubli
eanl Party under01 present ad
iniist ratioun was int rodue- 4
and flunkeyism" into our
Intercourse with representa- '*''
tives of foreign powers.
Thes Chicago Reopublican looked at (lie D)emoc
racy's M ississippi chieftain (now a United States
senator), then turnedl his eyes to the thlen sub
chieftain, Champ Clark of Missouri, and said:
"1 wish to read a few words of Thomas Jefferson."
The chieftain looked (more than a bit startled.
"I readl fromi the 'Complete Writings of Jeffer
son,' by Ford," wvent on Mr. Boutell slowly. "It
appears from this letter that Adams was just
about to go aS a business agent of .Jefferson to
Lonadon, and after giving him several conmmis
sions, he wvrites:
"'One further fav'or and I am done: to search
the Herald office for the arms of mfy family. I
have what I have been told wvere the family
armns, but on what authority I know not. It is
possible there may be none. If so, I will withi
your assistance become a purchaser, having
Stearne's word for it that a coat of arms may
be purchased as cheap as any other coat.'
"So here we hlave the founder of the Democratic
party just dabbling, as it were, in syncophancy
nlot very trucullent as yet."
There was no0 quick rec'overy on the part of
the Democratic members from this blow, which,
while dlirected fair at their idol, hit them hard
In glancing. Finally, Mr. Sulzer, the East sideO
statesman, recovered sufficiently to ask in what
year it was that Jefferson had commissioned a
man to buy the coat of arms. On learning that
it was in the year 1771, Mr. Sulzer said, with an
intonation that showed he h~ad found a grain of
comfort in the thought, "That was five years
before the revolution."
The New York representative's consolation
morsel apparently was not big enough to go
round among his neighbors with an appreciable
shlare of each. It was a bit hard to learn after
many years that the mnan who wrote the immortal
document beginning with ringing words about
eqluality had been trying to btiy something which
would go to show that he was a trifle "more equlal''
thlan his neighbors; and the blow wvas like unto
that of a bludgeon, because it was shown that the
supposedlly impeccable one had more than intl
mated that a counterfeit coat was as good as
a genuine one if only it were nobly emblazoned,
The Republicans had a rare time of it over the
llemnocratic dlis'omiiittore. When 't comes to fun
the galleries are glorioumsly nonpartisan. The
humor of the thing wvas to the people aloft well
worthl tho knocking (of a prlop from the third presi
dent's pinnacle. Things might rnot have been so
nV~ogether bad for the cause of Mr. Jefferson and
his house disciles if Mr. lIoutell had been content
to stop), for everybody recognizes thle weakness
that all human natutre--even that sternly simple
type--has for ('rests and other family gewgaws.
"Yes," said the Chicago man, "it was flve years
before tile revolution. Now, just before the revolul
tion, oin August 25. 1775, the great fotunder of the
Demobratic party, the introducer of 'trulculent
sycophancy' itto our (ntionaml administ ration,
wrote to ,lohln Randolph from Monticello urging
a reconciliation wvith Great liritain, (and( in thait
letter he uses5 this expm'ession:
"'I (am sinc(erely oine of ths w153~ ho wVould rat her
be in depenidence on Great liritain, properly lim
ited, than any other nait Ion on earth, or than on
The last flye words of I his Jleffersonian pro
nouncemlenit it wold seemfl. if language meanls
anything, i:Oin:t to ai desire enl tl'e part of the
U'irgtuian Demnocrat that the colonies should have
/n ofteoe-h-e4 oes
AsM. Iuelpti:"tsespsil ht
having pu'Arca s cot fars Jfero
eartat on the'declaratio/ f neenec
and th estabishme th a' repblca form of~
govrnmnt t wul no e naaialast
The mweryI a1. of hi d peec dwetlsin conem s.t
tas irtentionllyu ligt, 't tem droe home tht
lessonI that oraitheso al ce~tain kfindennc
confd to elment of a pblica frty.f
gWhrnen it wuldr ant Amerian avtilabede ast
ahe result oe hat aduleertd old cntiasue.n
oroner' memry oflthie jsefehdwell bingcngress.
th deasedethejry igtyu gitverohe cause the
alessnestht raitieve of ethen kwin are ver
dicfine, the "recertof aned picl pahedrespns.
T~hn he pefodubre anwh ic ans iedCngrles as
th sto meaure. aPrate food tassgt as e
thearcle of mein misntoinerstadtgs comre, aus
pcrones jurd wil boe abustel imn brngin measue
than~i o w suicide oth rerh ot ogre tohr on
wth we d th conudr.a ietecuea
Rpresnesstat whiheer ofth wan the Chcag
dicote, the "rcnb 3 id ill thogbtehue. He resex
Thendere-foodxhorterwhndhdurssgdthe gress isr
the cuase of mor e inerstndngs the sse
thaners any shoteahch congrs thouneret it
wdorpweeye coidr.t hmtlso ihr
Rereunknwnae tod-and it wasntn e of hicg
pilotedrth unknow thghtiMr. house tol wao the
pounerond-gaterdidrng the gearer art
ofor aysazeelad cutheto interest oftesand1
membgatirs thas ao cene hof the inters ofn
thert b ugnaknown thatgressMlnketunto tha eate
while the Hyde Park representative set forth his
wares in bottle and in box and gave his colleagues
full knowledge of the indigestible and poisonous
stuff that the stomach of the American had been
taking to its own all the years under the sacred
names of food and medicine.
The house has upon most occasions the saving
grace of taking things in part humorously. A
joke saves many a situation, assauges anger and
disarms the man whose tongue under stress of
temper becomes a sharp weapon.
There were few jokes dluring the discussion of
the pure-food bill. The subject was as deadly 1
serious as wvere some of the "food" products dis
played on the Chicago representative's desk. Once
in a while the gravity was relieved by a quip,
but as a matter of fact the joke of the thing was
of the past-a huge joke, if a grim one, cracked
by food preparers and medicine manufacturers
at the expense of the stomachs and the livers of
the American people.
Mr. Mann toldl of an Amer'ican firm that had
been importing rotten-yes, rotten-E'ggs, which,
after treatment with boric acid, were sold to
candy-makers and cake-bakers. Mr. Gaines of
Tennessee exp~ressedl gratitude that the imports
did( not get inito oggnoggs. Thle laugh was faint.
Every member was thinking of the candy and
the cake and stomachs of the child mult itutde.
Trhe half has never been told in the public
prints of the food frauds which Representative
Mann disclosedl in the time-often extended
alloted to him to press this bill to a passage.
Some of his exhibits were ground "coffee" made
of roasted beans, oats, lpilot br-ead, charcoal, red
slate, bark and date stones: cinnamon maden of
ANC/YRY r. MI/NEY
sawdust: whole pepper made of tapioca and lamp
black; cocoa made of walnut shells and oxide,
and a thousand and one other foods adulterated
in a thousand and one ways.
The drinks were worse. From the exposition
made in the house-and in this subject an interest
deeper than any draught that be had ever taken
was shown by every member-it would seem
that the man who leads a friend to the bar and
asks what he will have gives his friend no choice,
for the bartender will set out what the spirit
moves. and it seldom will move a pure spirit.
The members of congress learned by formulas
presented, bearing the name and address of deal
ers, that skim milk masquerading as cream is a
deception of babe-like innocence compared with
the "pure domestic" and "fine imported" whiskies
and cordials which are set forth for the damnation
of a drinker's stomach if not for the damnation
of his soul. The hope may be expressed, possibly
without incuring the charge of vindictiveness, that
in this case the curse returns to roost behind the
To Representative Henry T. Rainey is due large
ly the fact that the bones of John Paul Jones rest
in the land for which he fought. It was the 1111
nols Democrat who first took up the matter of the
search for the commodore's remains and who
started the investigation which later made General
Porter's work possible.
Mr. Rainey never has been
- given credit in full for his
shar of the labor, for
modesty has held him
Congress at the outset
did enough to discourage
ten men of ordinary en
ergy from carrying on the
quest for anybody's bones.
Mir. Rainey refused to be
gil)e(d out of his purpose,
and although he could not
in(umce his colleagues to
take- him altogether seri
ously, he followed the bent
of his belief in other direc
tions and now Jchn Paul
Jones rests at Annapolis.
The Illinois member in
Stroduced a resolution pro
viding for the finding and
for the removal to Amer
Ica of the Scotch sailor's remains. The resolution
alled for an appropriation of $10,000 to pay the
expenses. Then the fun began. The mockers in
the house declared that the commod'o was bur'ied
leep in a cemetery under million-dollar business
str'uctures on the Rue Grande Aux Belles or on
th Rue des Ecluses Saint Martin or on several
yther rues which they could not pronounce.
Congress in its humor had the aid and jocose
sorrespondents, who saw the rare jest in the bones
4earc-h and made the most of it. And here recol
ection brings a blush of contrition to the cheeks
>f one who followed in the train. Members said
and correspondents wrote that the French doubtless
~radly would allow their business palaces to be uni
lermined and toppled to ruin on the payment of
$10,000 of Yankee cash.
If Yankee cheek, the representatives said, aided
y French politeness, could accomplish the purpose
)f building demolition, there would be small chance
f separating Jones' bones wvith any certainty of
dentity from those of the French sleepers in the
>ld cemetery. One scoffer suggested with fine irony
hat there might be a bit of the original Scotch
skull left, and that Sidney Smith's rule might be
Iipplied to make positive the identification.
Mr. Rainey was undisturbed. Hei wvas not even
noved to surrender when suggestion was made that
f the $10,000 were sent over to some French grave
ligger he would find the old sea dog's bones and
Jrove their genuineness if ho had to tattoo the
;ailor's autograph in the tibia of the left leg to
It was two years on the way, but the last laugh
'ame, and it was Mr. Rainey who had it. His
'olleagues made amend for their scoffing and their
;corning, and now another jester of the past writes
>elated word of contrition.
fHE COLDEST PLACE ON EARTH
What is said to be the coldest place on the globe
s the region of Vcrkholensk, Siberia. . Here is a
tonvict station, but during most of the year no
guards ar-e needed to keep the prisoners from run
iing away, for in the more severe portions of the
,vinter nmo living creature can remain In the open,
rnd during the three most severe months, when
he temperature sometimes falls to 85 degrees be
ow zero, no one dares to venture oult for more
han a few moments at a time.
Ordinary steel tools will snap like glass, and
mneeasoned wood becomes almost as hard as
iteel. When one breathes a powder like the v'ery
inest snow falls at one's feet. It is said that there
tre le'ss forms of insect life here than elsewhere
a the world, and some of those found are not
oind elsewhere, seemingly having been created
uspiecially to inhabit such a frigid region.
Some of the signal-service officials declare Ihat
nost of the severe cold waves that sweep acrocss
lhe North American continent have their origin in
Verkholensk. Tihe wind blows a perfect gale almost
ill the time, and that discomfort, added to the low
emperaiture, would certainly make thmis a veiry un
d1easamnt iplace in which to spend the winteri.
A St. l.ouis tiaveling maon, mnaking his first trip
brough Noirth D~akota, woke uip one Mlay morning
o find thle giround white with snow.
""Foir lleav'en's sakeO," lhe asked the hotel cl-rk,
lisgumstedlly, ''when do you have sum m(r out ini
his 'ouintr-y ?"
'1 dlon't knlow," reCpliedl the clerk, "I h-~we only
)een her-c I I months."-Suces
T HREE hours
after the first dose.
That's all the time it
takes for-Oxidine to
"get busy" with a tor
pid liver, sluggish bow.
ela and kidneys and a
Tones and strength
ens vital organs.
Try just one bottleo
-a bottle proves.
The Specific for Malaria, Chills and
Fever and a reliable remedy for
all diseases due to disorders
of liver. stomach, bowels
0c. At Your Druggfste
eUX nU2wEUNS DRUG 0e,
Answering the Dean.
The man who Thackeray calls "the
greatest wit of all time"-Dean Swift
of St. Patrick's cathedral, Dublin
was as ready to take as to make a re
"Why don't you doff your hat to
me?" he asked a small boy who was
coaxing along an obstreperous goat.
"I will," said the lad, "if your honor
will hold the goat's horns!" an answer
which delighted the dean.-Youth's
Snakes in Prohibition Maine.
Snakes emptied two saloons in Port
land of the crowds of customers a few
evenings ago. A non-resident ordered
a box of snakes sent to him from the
south for the purpose of cleaning out
a vast number of rats from his place.
The snakes were given a chance to
demonstrate their rat killing abiliy
and the large sn ce destroyed 15 in
a few minutes. Thb snakes were then
taken to two diffolent saloons and in
a few minutes cl ared them of the
crowd.- Kenneebec- Journal.
THEY DON'T WA NT WRINKLES.
She--lr. Smith advertises all the~
He--Fatal mistake. Hie won't get a
woman in his store.
Perhaps Plain Old Meat, Potatoes and
Bread May Be Against You
for a Time.
A change to the right kind of food
can lift one from a sick bed. A lady
in Welden, Ill., says:
"Last spring I became bed-fast with
severe stomach tr-oubles accompanied
by sick headache. 1 got worse and
worse until I became so low I could
scarcely retain any food at all, al
though I tried about every kind..
"I had become completely discour
aged, and given up all hope, and
thought I was doomed to starve to
death, until one day my hushand, try
ing to flnd something I could retain,
brought home some Grape-Nuts.
"To my surprise the food agreed
with me, digested perfectly and with
out distress. I began to gain strength
at once. My flesh (which had been
flabby), grew firmer, my health im
proved in every way and every day,
and in a very few weeks I gained 20
pounds in wveight.
"I liked Grape-Nuts so well that for
four months I ate no other food, and
always felt as well entisfled after eat
ing as if I had sat down to a fine ban
"I had no return of the miserable
sick stomach nor of the headaches,
that I used to have when I ate other
food. I am now a Nell woman; doing
all my own work again, and feel that
life is wvorth living.
"Grape-Nuts food has been a God
sendl to my family; it surely saved my
lire; and my two little boys have
thriven on it wvondlerfully." Name
given by Postum Co., Battle Creek,
Head the little bookc, "The Road to
Wellville," in pkgs. "There's a reason."
Ever read the above letter? A new
flne nppene. from time to timue. They
re genuine, true, and full of buna