Newspaper Page Text
vrfWT-i " -7
v Whether Common or Not.
Tlie Old Inhabitants.
t thought it hot when July's sun heat down with
That fried tho pitch from asphalt sheet that cov
ered ev'ry strcetf
But when I mentioned this to Jones, a gray-haired
friend of mine, ' i
Ho told to me- how hot it was the year of '59.
"So hot," said Jones, "in '59, that all th .cricks v
An' fish 'u'd carry water miles 'r else curl-up an'
Hot, eh? Well rather, neighbor; thermometers
wan't no good1
Merc'ry boiled an' busted glass an' scorched holeg
in th' wood.
You call this hot? Why this is cool,", said this
old friend of mine, ,
"T what it Was in that hot spell th' year o '59."
I sauntered further down the street and met old
I mentioned heat Jones told about the elder
winked his eye.
"Did Jones say '59 was hot? Well, F-m right here
That his hot spell was .cold as ice compared with
That year spring chicks were fried on foot, the'
hens laid hard boiled eggs
An' metal hoops wus melted off bf barrels,,' tubst
an' kegs. -
Th" locomotives all made steKm 'itli no firesin th'
Wo couldn't tell th' time o' day hands melted off
Jones called it hotJnJ59? Th' weather then -vug-great
Yo'd ought'r seen how hot it was th' year o' '68."
These tales I told to Deacon Smith. He laughed till
he was red,
And when recovered from his mirth he looked at
me and said:
,"In, '59 an' '68 'twas hot, I'll say to you;
But thenr two years wus pasain! cool' compared -
That year we.gathered roastin' ears cooked hang- '
in' on th stalk.
Hot! Sizzlin' oats, if I wus Bly or Jones, I
Th' railroad irons curled up like wool an' glass .
jars melted down
An' skurce a windowpane wus left unmelted in th
I've seen some hot spells in my time, but I'll jus'
say t' you
Th' hottest spell since I wus born was July, '42."
I thought of what Jones, Bly and Smith had said of
And went my way my long, hot way adown tho
I knew all three were honest men who scorned to
tell a lie,
But I was sure they'd stretched tho truth of years
so long gone by
If hotter then I feel quite sure all three'd been
To crisp, or else been melted down leastwise they
would have died.
But I could-only make believe I thought their
tales were true
Of '59 and '68 and also '42.
And forty years from now I guess I'll have my
share of fun
In telling of the awful heat in nineteen hundred
Then and Now.
"I'll not support the ticket this year!"
"What, will you prove traitor to your party
Just when it most needs you? I am astonished!,'
Bolt! How can you think of such a thing?"
"But you bolted last year."
' "0, that was different. It was the duty of
over:'' honest member of the party to bolt tken."
"I thought you told me you had, never kissed a
girl before in your life."
"So I did. Do you doubt me?"
"No. But I'll confess I was suspicious when
you put your hand under my chin and tilted my
head back a trifle."
The Meanest Man.
"Old Packer, the pork millionaire, is the mean
est man on record."
"What makes you think so?"
"Well, Smith, who works in the refrigerating
room, asked him for a vacation a minute after
Jones, who works in tho rendering establishment,
asked for his vacation. And old Packer said Jones
might work in the refrigerating room for a week
while Smith worked in the rendering establish
ment. He declared that this would be such a pleas
ing change that the men would enjoy it better
than a trip out of town."
A Hot Spell.
' . "Poor Jones succumbed to the heat yesterday."
' "That's strange.1 Yesterday was the coolest
day we've had this month."
"Yes, but Jones tried to discuss the latest
problem novel with Miss Porkwell of Chicago and
the exertion was too much for him."
What is wealth?
The goal of greed; the curse of man 1
Who toils a slave his earthly span -
A ceaseless .strife.
For me a face against the pane;
A smile when I come home again;
A kiss that greets me at the door;
- A baby's footsteps o'er the floor
Ah, that is life!
The good time of yesterday is too often the
headache of today.
Destiny is only duty well done. Fate is duty
Satan uses numerous agents, bu always shirks
True love forgives -much, but true love never
A well trained conscience is a poor moral
He tried to play King Richard III.,
1 But he his Huqs forgot-o.
In his wild frenzy he exclaimed:
"My kingdom fgr an auto!"
W'. M. M.
A Campaign Story.
A Mississippi candidate for office charged his
. opponent with being too ambitious and of over
reaching himself. He said that his opponent re
minded him of Morgan's mule. Tho animal got
sick and the neighbors gathered in to offer aid,
but In spite of all they could do the mule died.
Morgan, in describing the incident, said:
"Some thought he had colic and some thought
he had rheumatism and some thought he had
liver trouble, but I knew all tho time what was
the matter with that mule. He was a mule with
. a powerful ambition, and he just put his pullfng
powers against his constitution and busted his
system. That's what was tho matter with that
The Supreme Court Decision.
In regard to taxation, therefore, it is plain
that the court, by declaring the Foraker act con
stitutional, recognizes the right of congress to im
pose duties upon imports from Porto Rico. Tho
constitution provides that "all duties, imposts and
excises shall be uniform throughout the United
States." .. nile Porto Rico is not a "foreign coun
try," according to the court's decision, and is not a
subject colony, it is still not a part of the United
States in the sense that it is entitled, If congress
decrees otherwise, to free trade with the United
States. This decision will give great comfort to
tho protectionist advocates of the expansion policy
who feared that the tariff wall between the United
States and its dependencies would not be allowed
to stand by the supreme court. The Foraker act,
as was pointed 'out in the argument before tho
court by the able constitutional lawyers opposed to
,the government's contention, is the first one in our
history in which an attempt has been made to im
pose taxes or duties upon goods because they are
shipped from one territory to the states and other
territories of the United States. "Under this aqt,"
said Hon. John G. Carlisle, in his argument, "goods
sent from New York or New Mexico to Porto Rico,
or from Porto Rico to New York or New M'exico,
are required to pay impost duties and internal
taxes, while the same sort of goods sent from New
York: to New Mexico or any other territory, or
from another state or territory to New York or
New Mexico, are not subject to any such charges.
It requires but little argument, if any, to show
that this is a tax on commerce, or that, if not,
it violates the rule of uniformity."
Mr. Carlisle asserted that if duties could be
levied upon Imports Into Porto Rico from tho
United States and exports from the island to the
United States without violating the rule of uni
formity, Or violating tho constitution in any other
respect, then it would follow that congress may by
law impose one rate of duty or one rate of in
ternal taxation upon articles going from the state3
and territories to any one particular territory, or
coming from it to the states and other territories,
and a wholly different rate upon the same kind of
articles coming to or from another state or terri
tory. The constitution not only provides, for uni
formity of taxation, but, as was pointed out in
the argument before the supremo court, declares
that "no tax or duty shall be laid 6n articles ex
ported from any state." "It does not," as M. Car
lisle himself argued, "provide merely that congress
shall not impose such a tax or duty, or that the
president shall not do so, but positively and broad
ly that it shall not be done by anybody at all."
The purpose of the prohibition was to prevent dis
crimination by one state against another, or
against one section of the country in favor of an
other. "Any other construction," said Mr. Carlisle,
"would enable congress to break up and ruin the
commence of some of the other states by the im
position of discriminating taxes and duties upon
their products when sent beyond their limits for
sale." Possibly congress may never be inclined to
exercise such discrimination against Porto Rico
or the Philippines. It is to the interest of the
United States to encourage the development of
these dependencies. Yet it Is undeniable that a
considerable element in the United States desires
to impose heavy duties upon tho products of these
islands, and it seems to be entirely within the dis
cretion of congress, according to the court's deci
sion, by imposing prohibitory duties to "protect"
the industries of the United States from the "pau
per labor" of our 'territories" in tho West Indies
and the Philippines. Whether congress can bo
trusted to exercise Its discrimination wisely is an
other question.- Baltimore Sun.
"Is Cumso all right?"
"He is the most considerate man I ever met.
Why, he never tries to tell any of tho bright things
his two-year-old boy gets off."