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The Theory and the Fact
I love to sing o happy days of days down on the farm.
(Tis easier to sing, you know, than hold a breaking plow.)
I love to dwell in ecstasy upon each rural charm.
('Tis easier to dwell, you know, than milk a stubborn cow.)
I love to lend my ears to hear the music sweet and clear
Each morning when the air is pure and rosy dawn aglow.
But on the square, good friends, I'll say I very greatly fear
The concert is too early let me sleep an hour or so.
"Quack, quack, quack!" goes the pretty little duck;
"Ba, ha!" goes the little sheep.
The roosters "cock-a-do," and the milk cows "boo"
High time now to wake- from sleep.
I've noted in my brief career that those who sing the most
Of happy days upon the farm are those who live in flats;
That those who to the farmer drink the deepest brimming toast
Are those who wear boiled linen and the slickest of silk hats.
They wake up in the morning in the neighborhood of nine
With heads that feel like footballs and with eyes chock full
And then they will imagine that for rural life they pine,
But" they don't they merely think so, but they never really do.
"Gobble, gobble, gobble!" goes the old turkey cock;
w Fuzzy little chickens "peep" peep!"
The hungry horses neigh at the early dawn of day
No use trying now to sleep.
There's a blooming lot of diff'rence getting up at 4 o'clock
And dressing in a room so cold you fairly freeze your nose,
Then hustling out beneath the stars to feed and water stock
It's diffrent from 'the city way as every farmer knows.
It may be full of poetry when one has but to write,
,But full of gooseflesh pimples when you're Johnny-on-the-spot.
'Tjs easier to sing than to arise at dead of night
The city man may like it till he tries it then he'll not.
"Bow, wow, wow!" says Towser at the gate.
"Woof!" goes the porker, loud and deep.
Gee whiz, it four o'clock! Hustle out and feed the stock!
No use wasting time in sleep.
May heaven bless the farmer he's the man who feeds us all;
He rises mighty early and he works away till late.
We sing his hearty praises in the summer, winter, fall
And then are mighty careful that he has to pay the freight.
I love to sing of rural charms, of corn and waving rye;
Of gentle cows, of woolly sheep, of horses and of swine.
But, honestly, I'd rather be allowed to gently lie
Upon my downy couch and sleep until it's nearly nine.-"Wah-he-wah!"
is the donkey's hungry .wail
Just when rosy dawn doth creep.
To the farm I'd love to flit and enjoy its pleasures nit!
It don't give a fellow time to sleep.
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when you sheepishly reached for them
and slunk back to your seat. You
sneaked a look across the aittle and
saw something that almost broke
your heart, for even "she" -was laugh
ing. You never pulled on those boots
without feeling a sinking of th,e heart,
and long after everybody else had for
gotten it you felt embarrassed about
it. Of course father thought he was
doing the right thing, but it takes
fathers a long time to realize that
their boys are growing up, and when
a boy is fourteen he is getting pretty
big or at least you thought so then.
Next Monday morning you are go
ing to call your children down into
the front room and show them the
little tree you have erected for their
pleasure and entertainment, and you
are going to get more real enjoyment
out if it than you ever got out of any
Christmas tree in the old days. But,
after all, you would like to have one
Christmas tree for your very own
again. Not for the tree alone. O,
no! But with it might come the play
mates of those departed years. It
might bring back with it Arthur Me
carta, who is sleeping somewhere in
the island of Cuba. With it might
come Jack Murphy, the freckled-faced
Irish boy who stuck to the throttle
of his engine and went down to his
death rather than desert his post and
leave two hundred passengers fn m,i
with his always smiling kZZk
merry pranks, and you'd give anvthS
to see Hon. William Welch S n?
the district court, unhen 1 onie m0r '
and "Jag from taw," With it S
come into your range of vision once
more a fair-faced little girl with w
tawny curls, whose rigidly wri ten
and surreptitiously passed notes used
to make the long hours of 6Uh00i
seem shorter, And just as you tlilai
of that little girl you see her min
as she comes into the sitting room-.
a little older, her hair no longer
hanging in curls, but far sweeter and
better looking tha she was in tha
Then, you come out of your reverie
with a .start and hear a couple of
sweet little toddlers talking about
what they want Santa Claus to bring
them, and you begin figuring on get
ting those very things evo.i if JOu
have to go without a uew pair of
trousers or a new hat
Yes, sir-ee! It would be great fun
to live again just one more of thoso
Christmas days. But you can not.
So make the best of it by trying to
make the present Christmas just as
pleasant for your little ones as those
old Christmas days were to you, and
in doing it you have enough pleasure
for any man.
Washington dispatches say that two
midshipmen will be expelled from the
naval academy on account of hazing.
JUST SOME THOUGHTS
What would you give, you gray
haired boys and girls, if the Christ
mas trees next week looked as good
as ' the Christmas trees did about
thirty or thirty-five years ago?
Give? Why, you'd give anything,
almost. Of course the Christmas
trees look pretty now, and you get a
lot of pleasure out of them by watch
ing the pleasure of your own little
ones. But wouldn't you just like to
have one4 Christmas trees like those
you had when you were about ten
The very mention of it carries you
back almost thirty years. You see
a gorgeous tree set up in the little
village church away down there in
Missouri, and you see the smiling and
shining faces Df your boy and girl
friends, many of whom have long
since passed over to where it is
Christmas every day. You see the
caiidles gleaming through the cotton
batting and powdered glass "diamond
dust," they called it and you dee the
candybags made out of mosquito net
ting, the autograph albums, the muf
flers, the knit scarfs, the neckties, and
all the host of presents tftat Hos
somed and grew upoi that wooderful
tree, m your mind you nro w
ing if ever the superintendent is
ing to call your 'name, and when ho
does you shuffle down the aisle in an
embarrassed way and take the pres
ent he hands you.
Remember how every boy wore
boots in those days? Of course you
do. And that reminds you of an
awfully embarrassing minute or two
one Christmas away back in that now
dim and distant age. You were just
uufeiumilK LU SIC lin Jinri tnl- ,.
and "she" sat just across the aisle
With a look of supreme indifference
on her face, just as if she didn't know
that you had scurried around for
three weeks hunting old iron to sell
for money enough to buy that gaudv
autograph album for her. You had
for two or three weeks,' but father
only shook his head and said. "Wait
ray son." And you waited.
But horrors! Jim oo TitM
, , , - vi. uo tmiigu were
quietest yon heard the superintendent
am Ti rtsam- u snuffled
down the aisle once more, wondering
if It really could be something "she"
had put on the tree for you And
right there before all that huge crowd
LldIing "he" thG superintendent
King f?" the b0tS yU had been
They looked no iio. i....
dldnt they. And everybody laughed
"Under date of Washington, Decem
ber 11, Walter Wellman, Washington
correspondent for the Chicago Record
Herald, said: "Friction between the
Roosevelt administration and the re
publican leaders in the senate became
more than ever apparent today. These
two wings of the republican party In
Washington seem to be drifting apart
and no one can foresee the outcome.
President Roosev61t is seriously dis
satisfied because senators are holding
up his nomination of Mr. Lane of Cali
fornia to be a member of the inter
state commerce commission. The
president knows he can not force the
senate to confirm a nomination, but
he does think he and Mr. Lane are
entitled to a vote and not to be kept
hanging in midair. In administration
circles the opposition to Lane is as
cribed to railroad influence in the
upper branch. On the floor of the
senate this afternoon the railroad rate
question was unexpectedly precipitat
ed, and there followed a most inter
esting debate in the course of whicli
the constitutional power of congress
to delegate the ratemaking power was
seriously questioned by leading repub;
lican senators. All the indications
are that when the senate lawyers get
well into this legal and constitutional
discussion it will go on for months.
And finally the senate by a vote
of 40 to 23 decided to refer the Pana
ma canal emergency appropriation bill
to the committee on appropriations in
stead of to the committee on inter
oceanic canals generally considered
a rebuff to the administration. Prom
inent republican senators openly crit
icised alleged extravagance in canal
management and insisted upon hav
ing all employment under the commis
sion taken out of the hands of Presi
dent Roosevelt and fixed by law. It
was noteworthy that among the ten
republicans who voted on what Is gen
erally regarded as the administration
side of the opposition not more than
one or two could be classed among
the leaders of the body. The old
guard, the veterans, the men of com
manding influence and position, were
almost unanimously on the other side.
The younger republicans' only rallied
to the support of the administration."
duced a bill providing that when tariff
duties amount to more than 100 per
cent of the value of the articles im
ported, such duties are to be reduced
to 100 per cent. Referring to Mr. Wil
liams' bill the Washington correspond
ent for the Chicago Record-Herald
says: "There are plenty of duties
which run over 100 per cent; there
are duties which run as high as 1,800
per cent, and yet it is perfectly safe
to assert that the Williams hill to
cut them down will repose in a deep
and dusty pigeon-hole in the room of
the committee on ways and means
throughout the remainder of this con
gress. The republican leaders are de
termined to do everything in their
power to keep the tariff question in
the background. They will permit no
tariff bill or amendment to get before
the house. Many members, even re
publicans, would like to increase the
revenues by putting a small lax on
coffee. But the speaker and his lit
tle squad who rule the house with a
rod of iron are afraid to let the cof
fee question come- up lest it precipi
tate the whole tariff question."
A spirited debate took place in the
senate when Mr. Tillman presented a
bill authorizing the Interstate com
merce commission to fix minimum
rates. Mr. Foraker said that the bill
(Continued on Page 14)
Representative Williams has intro-
that if you havo faintins, smothering
weak and hungTy spells j if 5'ou no a
shortness of breath when walking or go
Inff up stairs; if your heart Is irregular,
flutters or palpitates; if you havo palna
around the heart, In sldo and under
shoulders, cannot sleep on left side; havo
difficulty In breathing when lying dovin.
that you are suffering from heart troubles,
and that It Is liable at any minute to
prove fatal. . ,,
Then don't delay. Commence at onco
New Heart Cure
This famous heart and blood tonu will
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The time is when you notice an oi
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"I anTglad I was persuaded to JO JS
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from shortness of breath, PftV.rr
?mAh.cr'n?.?RGsd "nffiSv cured,
This was two years ago, and I hae -no
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Tho first bottle will benefit, if not,
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