Newspaper Page Text
DECEMBER 24, 1909
I v VvVwZ r1 J3 11 Ir Jk"N
fc 7 . X IV. JT Rv Wrr. M Mfinn,niL J
She stood beneath the mistletoe,
Innocent as could be;
She looked about her everywhere
At everyone but me.
And I well, I just took a chance
Amidst the revelers there,
And pressing forward to her side
I kissed her, fair and square.
Then later, in a shaded nook,
From interference free,
She said she knew I'd take the bait
And didn't look at me.
And so, young man, I'd this advice:
"Just watch your chance and go
For her who never looks at you,
Under the mistletoe."
The Architect's Letter Box
Chicago, Ills., December 12. To
the Architect: I always read your
department in The Commoner with
much interest, and the way you de
scribe the old-time days is exactly
in keeping with my experience. But
I have one now that "skins" any
thing I ever saw before my wife's
new hat. She bought a soapbox for
six cents and knocked one side of it
out and covered the remainder with
a yard of velveteen. She then took
the wing of the boy's windmill and
tjed some bows on it with a yard of
ribbon which cost seven cents. Then
she got the tin top off of a pop bot
tle and with a brass tack fastened
to one.side of the box the side she
carries in front. I presume her idea
in knocking out one side of the box
was to make room for "rats." Of
course the boy got "sore" about the
windmill, but it did him no good.
It added much, apparently, to the
looks of the hat. At any rate, my
wife's women friends all declare that
it is a perfectly lovely hat, and many
of them have turned green with envy.
The hat cost sixty-two cents. I
thought this information might be
of benefit to some of the readers of
your department. M. D. H.
I don't know whether this corre
spondent is joking or not. When
in the office I am Inclined to think
he is, but when I am on the street
and see some of the hats I am in
clined to believe "he is serious." But
whatever his inclination, we offer his
suggestion for what it is worth.
you do not havo to nav a' tariff dutv
on specie you import? Well, you
uo noi, so cmrK upi xou can bring
in free of duty all the specie you
The "ultimate consumer" will
soon bo ultimately consumed eaten
blood raw by the trusts.
But we can still wish von n.
Merry Christmas without being
And wo do.
"Hi, dere, Jimmy! Here's luck!"
"What's do matter, kiddo? Found
"Naw; but i's found a gratin' in
do sidewalk right over a basement
where dey are bakin' mince pies f'r
"I tell you, 'money talks.' "
"Indeed it does, and a lot of it Is
telling some very bad things about
the men who havo gotten hold of
"Mary, my dear; have you got my
receipt for that accident insurance
"And are you sure that the insur
ance on the house is in full force
'And did the fire department tell
you that the fire plug on the corner
was not frozen up?"
"They told me it was all right.
-"Got the" sweet oil, the lard and
flour,, and the other things all
"Everything ready, dear.'
"Well, hring on that cotton bat
ting suit and I'll get ready to play
Santa Claus again."
"I understand that Santa Claus is
going to come in an aeroplane this
"Nothing new about that, He has
had my presents 'In the air for a
great many years,"
"I suppose your campaign for re
election cost you a handsome pile
"Sir. I am clad to say that I was
not so sordid as to keep an account
of my campaign expenses," replied
"Then you do not know what it
"I do not."
Afterwards the senator eased his
conscience by telling himself that he
had no way of telling how much ink
the recording angel used in keeping
track of all tho senatorial promises
made during the campaign.
"My wife is just like a phono
graph." "Well, I wish mine was."
"A phonograph runs down once
In a while, and even at that you can
shut it off."
They still have a tax on foodstuffs,
but, thank goodness, good cheer is
still on the free list.
Everything you ever heard of be
fore is taxed, but a lot of things
you never knew existed areon the
free list. Perhaps we ought to be
thankful anyhow. ,
'Are you aware of ,th fact that
"Well, Willie, I suppose you are
still firm in tho faith that there is
a Santa Claus?"
"Sure thing! You don't suppose
I'm goin' to lose out on a good thing
by gettin' too wise, do you?"
Wnrm the briddlebits.
A Merry Christmas to Everybody!
It costs nothing to give a smne..
Don't forget the Red Cross stamp.
Real Christmas cheer is not found
Love in a gift is better than in
Don't open the package until
Sermons that hurt are the ser
mons that help.
Sympathetic tears will not warm
any cold hovels.
There is a difference between send
ing gifts and giving gifts.
Before marriage he estimates her
,irhf Tvc trv measurements; after
I marriage it 1 a clear case of esti
mating avoidupols. Isn't It tho
A littlo Christmas candlo will light
up a big expanso of territory.
A man may follow his conscience
straight to tho gates of perdition.
This is tho season of tho year when
tho lad with fat logs is glad of it.
You can't always tell tho feelings
of tho donor by looking at tho prico
Wish I could, havo as much fun
with my work as my baby does with
Wo love Christmas, but wo do wish
it did not come so near tho first of
Tho hanniest time In n vntincr
man's lifo is when ho rings his
Tho man who says ho has nothing
to arbitrate practically admits that
ho is In tho wrong.
A littlo more heart and a littlo loss
money in the gifts you give will make
tnom seem all tho better.
Christmas cigars aro often bought
by tho label; but they aro not esti
mated that way by tho recipient.
A lot of money is spent in amelio
rating social conditions that ought
to be spent in curing social condi
tions. A bushel of coal or a sack of flour
will exercise moro Christian influence
this kind of weather than any amount
People will listen while you com
miserate with their woes, but they
grow Impatient when you try to re
lato your own.,
Tho young man who Is always
talking about his "salary" is usually
in debt to his friend who is content
to worK ror wages.
It will be cheerfully admitted that
Mr. Rockefeller is not afflicted with
the "hook worm" disease as that af
fliction Is understood.
We never think of the street car
that Is on the crossing when wo get
there, but If we have to wait a min
ute or two we think things.
This is the season of tho year
when we always carry a sandbag to
use on tho head of the man who
tries to abolish Santa Claus.
Every now and then wo wish we
wore big enough to take tho fine,
warm overcoat from the back of the
driver and throw it over tho back
of his horse.
Wo would recommend boiling in
oil, or something equally lingering,
as the fit and proper punishment for
tho man who seeks to abolish child
ish faith in Santa Claus.
You may not bo able to provide
moro than ono Christmas tree, but
you can plant enough Christmas tree
seed to brighten a whole neighbor
hood in tho years to come.
The man who listens to troubles
has many friends; the man who Is
always telling his troubles has no
need of mathematical ability in or
der to enumerate his friends.
It has been many a year since we
hung up a Christmas stocking, but
we've never ceased to wonder how
tho children around tho equator,
where they don't wear stockings,
manage things at this time of the
Wn mnnrn the disannearance of
the good old grandmothers who put
In tho months of September, October
and November with a big part of
December knitting all-wool Christ
mas socks and mittens.
I Uneeda (
el T, 1 lil f4 K'" '""" without milk.
XKHHAHUA HICI It CO., Omaha, Xebr.
ACTUM! THK Mnt by exprrw toyouort
MO 1 II Mil Freo Trial. II Itrtm- end II: If
mm m ii i not. don't. (live cxnr onier,
National C liomlcnl to., 764 Ohio Ave.. Hldney.O.
(UN JIB OI'Kr.n. Mr tnlM, aoctl.lrtf. prnWl cm
Joi II .nt rill. AMPI.K m-mtm It HtOI-5 TI1K ITCMIM
in eur to itar. WKITK NOMT-TOtHT.
DR CANNADAY, 174 PARK SQUARE. SEOAllA, MO
riri itiiriwi inli TnMii hi in
Concord Orai Vbictt 0. I Jiuddod
Cherry TrctMi oo. Titty ro atron
i nlfhr.n-ai!vtfl!mir CVttalocrajld t
duo hill IttHs Write tor rholro relootlona.
inlilll rrrw, tvHIit far rhnlrnMilfuitinnn.
f A W T? 717 I Cf KKOURKW Oil FKK
Freo report M to Pntentablllty. lllurtraUxl Guide
book, and 1.1st of Inventions Wanted. Mrtitfrrw.
Viarou J. KVAKfl it Co., Washington, I). C
Lnp KA MX A
earn 1 elegraphy 2&.
Younir men and women to fill K. R. and Cor. poiltlotu.
Thorough Instruction, Expcnacs (or count, 24 week' tuition.
board, room. Including typewriting, (&0, I'otluVm lor an ttra
duatea, catalog free.
Marion Telegraphic School,
Box C, Marion, Ind.
I nm pnylillf tut follown for tho winio- Northern
LarKC, 10.50; Medium, f-l.R0; hrnnll. 'Uft; Central
Law, W.60; Mfdlum. UW, Small, 1M. Put your
own Krado on if you wtah. Four pouuu or under
ncntl by mull. Next nwortninl hlKhmtt prtco for nil
nir. O. A. MljiiXIiMilt, JUiHtJAbcrty, Ohio.
Appre ec, Teach fie, Plum lie.
Cherry lie. Hcit nuaMy.uood
bcarcro, tcrziica mock, not
Grapes J2.S0pcr 103.
Forest Tree ticca
llnjw II.M per
LOW up. Wo
V olelo line
-v.-. -";;- . .7
r-x ran" oveu. u
i5 --t'arK0 Illustrated cat-
v aintnin irem. Also irea
ita oicltot of "Mow
Corcleas" Tomato, the Lest
t all tomatoes.
Mb 219, Beatrice, fc.
The British r-.useum, which is now
160 years old, was originated by Sir
Hans Sloan, who bequeathed his col
lections to tho government for
$100,000, about two-fifths of their
TRY MY FREE TEST
If you are lick, weak or despondent
enA me tample of your una fpr anaJraw
and 1 wiU eao you oce week inedKl
treatment end diet lit! free of cort. Do
you think I could afford to nuke Ihu dUr
U I wr. nnl rvrtm'm ei BfxA rcUiltl ? Mail
iaa caje aod bottle for once, tent oo re
ceipt of 4 cenU for poataae. . Chared for
vitnnatlr. 1 WCDtT
- in the treatment of c
Stomach and Nerrea. FjUblnM tn PitU
burr in 1 888. Book of Cure free.
DBJ.F.SHAFER 214 Penn Ave., PitUburo, Pa.
rezular Ueatment reaionable. Twenty
yean experience in the treatment c4 di-
oi iteKidJieyi Biad wr.
According to the London Statist,
the world's production of gold for
1908 was the largest In history. It
Is placed at $109,000,000 against
$400,000,000 In 1907 and , $390,
000,000 in 190C. .,
THE BEST ASSET OP A BANK
fs honest officials; the best se
curity of depositors is the Okla
homa bank law. Bank officials
aro not always honest. Tho
state banks of Oklahoma aro
all operated under the Guar
anty Law. If you want to
know about it ask for our
BUARANTY STATE BANK
M. G. HASKELL, Cashier
nuLumu sjwmhi iwi rt"