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The Louisiana Democrat. (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, January 27, 1886, Image 1

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i $ 1 "The World is Governed Too Much. ' '. ..
HIEI.RY BIT, I. |iitsmtniagr. ,ALEXANDRIA, LOUISIANA, WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 27, 1886. OL. LI-NO. 38.
MISSING.
A saliftls yarn you'd like to have me spin?
bit (bwn, slhipmate; here, off Nantucket
coast to
It was the Captain of the Abel tiwynu
That stormy year the Mary Lee was lost.
tHer Captain's name was William Henry ga
Court,
A gallant and a careful skipper, too;
i saw the ship weigh anchor and clear 'L
Iport, be
And bear away along the heaving blue,
Far out at sea she stood, the Mary Lee, p
A whaler rigged and from this harbor
bound,
With all sail spread trom tie cold northern gi
sea;It
4&good ship--aye, and timbers staunch and
sound.
But that was more than twenty years ago,
And old Nantucket town witl never see,
Across the distant billows risaing atow, it
Thile topmast of the good ship Mary Lee. It
Aye! aye! that little womal waiting there?
The skipper's wife-how fast site's getting at
gray,
Brown as en autumn oak-leaf was her hair rt
The moratug that the Mary sailed away. SI
She comes here ev'ry morning with that
(Sl s not in her right mind, 'twixt you and
me)
ntln witile the ships come in, the poor old IV
Stands watching for tihe bonny Mary Lee,
--Iner-Ocean.
DISGUSTED WITH THEM. t
i
A Strotrg-Minded Lady Airs Her c
Vievjs on "Shopping Women." a
I' The strong-minded lady was sipping ti
chocolate in one of the little lunch re- r
.sorts in Sixth avenue. Her lip curled h
with scorn as through the windows she t
beheld tile crowds of ladies shopping `
with all their heart and soul and might, t,
as though they had been brought into
the world for no other purpose and fully s
intended to carry out their mission. The I
strong-minded lady was disgusted. The
young girl who sat at the table with her
tried her utmost to dissipate the gloomy
clouds which hovered so persistently t
over her intellectual companion. The i
effort was futile. The strong-minded i
lady declined to be anything but dis
gaittad.
"Don't tell me that such a condition t
of things is normal," she said, as a 1
group of ladies more energetic and
chattering with more volubility than
any she had previously seen passed be
fore the window. "I tell you itis noth
ing of the kind. Those creatures there
are for the time being puppets, dolls, or
an, thing you like. Women I decline to
'call them. Look at them.rushing mad
ly into the stores as tlhough their lives
(depended upon the act. What do. they
want? Intellectuality to entertain their
husbands? Funds of information to
amuse their fathers? Attractive little
'devices to keep their brothers at home?
. No. Six cents' worth of ribbon to
nmatch a bonnet, half a yard of plush to
'cover a hat designed to excel <one they
thave previously seen, or some material
fromt which to make a dress for sum
mer, though summer isn't nearly here.
Pshaw!"
'The strong-minded lady viciously
drained her cup of chocolate, ordered
antother in stentorian tones, and turned
to her youthful companion with re
newed vigor. "A shopping woman,"
she said, "is an annormal condition of
womanhood induced by the absurdly
rapid civilization of the tinmds. I have
for the past six years studied the phe
nomenon of shopping, and I may say,
as the result of my studies, that the
c'hronic shopper is afflicted with a spe
cies of insanity. She can not help her
elf. She is determined to shop, come
what may. It is as much a part of her
daily- work as eating or drinking. Let
mle cite the case of an aunt of mine,
which I diagnosed for my own benefit,
and which ftrust you will allow me to
quote in a medical manner. Lizzie C.,
my aunt, daughter of a very estimable
'gentleman, married when a young girl,
and mixed in the best society. She de
spised frivolity, had writtdn a series of
Bible stories for her children, was always
ready to preach against the foolishness
of girls, andti was generally considered a
antodel wife. I staid sonie time in her
house about the year 1878, and noticed
that her husband's business seemed in a
baI way, and that there was some
pauoity of funds. Lizzie C., mly aunt,
conseq(uently felt.herself obliged to re
sluce expenses and to buy everything of
the cheapest.. A f'antic lesire for ar
gains came upon her. She would rise
at an early hour of the morning and at
tend s-ales which she hadl seen adver
tised, though there was absolutely no
necessitv that she should do so. 'I have
had suci :a tiring day; dear,' shite said to
me; 'I have been at the store since nine
o'clock this morning. It's extremely
fatiguing. But I am pleased to say I
have bouwht some wonderfully cheap
uoods. They are simply remarkable.
Look here.' She produced a parcel', un
folded it, and placed upon the table what
to my horror I recognized as black crape
colla:s, cuffs and bows.
" 'My dear,' said I, in amazenient,
*what did you make those wretched
purcliases for I'm not superstitious,
but I don't like to see you buying crape
lwhen you don't need it.'
"' "You goose,..' said Lizzie, laughing,
'they only cost a trifle, and I intend to
keepi them until I go into mourning.
Perhaps I shall never have such a chance
again. And you never know when
you'll irequire them.' Now," said the
strong-miuunded lady, energetically, "do
you call that the act of a sane woman?
My dear child, her intellect had been
touched by her husband's misfortunes,
though nio one recognized that fact but
mysevlf. Her doctor always said that she
w:s the healthiest and most clear-minded
woman he had ever seen. She reminds
me of the fictitious ease of Mrs. Smith,
which isn't half as ridiculous as you
might think at first. Mrs. Smith went
to :a sale and saw a very cheap door
plate with the name, 'Mrs. Jones,' upon
it. Slhe bought it. 'My dear girl,'
said a friendtowhonl she spoke of her
pnrchase,; 'what did you buy that use
Iess thlin, for?' 'It's not useless,' said
Nrs. Smith, indignantly. 'My husband
mighit die and I might marry a man
naijed Mr. Jones. And it's awfully
cheap."
"But don't compare those sensible
ladies shopping on Sixth avenue to the
cranks you have just mentioned,"' saied
b~e youthful listener, grdvely.
"The principle is the same, dear--tnb
principle is precisely the sanme," said the
strong-minded lady, emnphatically. "But t
to continue with my Aunt Lizzie. Onda
day she came home with a huce pink ,I
sheet, which she had folded into as
small a compass as slhe possibly could, lice
and stuffed under her sealskin jacket. wh
'Look here, Philip,' she said to her hus- pot
band, 'isn't this a deliciously cheap of
thing? Fancy! I only paid a penny ita
per yard,'
" 'What's it for?' said Philip, with ay
nrunt. 'I don't seec what the use of it is. ab
It may be cheap1 but wlhat's it for?' pel
"'Well, dear,' said Lizzie, meditative- Fh
ly, 'I don't know what it's for, I'm sure, ma
but it would have been aperfectsin to let w
it go by at such a ridiculously low price. Ile
It'll come in useful some time.' tie:
"She had a wardrobe," continued the fin
strong-minded lady, "perfectly full of soy
remnants she had Vbought at sales and we
subsequently made into dresses. Some- Re
times she kept the remnants for years so:
before she had them made up. They on
were consequently most old fashioned, w
anil frequently I have heard people say: in;
'There is Lizzie with one of the dresses th
Noah's wife wore when she came out of tw
the ark.' In other points my aunt was W
perfectly sensible. She could talk poli- in
ties like a professional politician, was hl
well versed on the literature of the day, la
and entertained friends in a graceful and
charming manner. But to see her rise pt
at an eaily hour of the morning and go re
off to a sale at the same time her hus- at
band left for business, not to return un- ]il
til he did, late at nirght, was a heart- fe
rending spectacle. . couldn't reason -to
her out of such proceedings; thgilII. hi
tri~i( inmy hrdest to 'do so. She ihs pi
quite obdurate. I suppose you know," ge
continued the strong-minded lady, "that Ir
bargain-hunters are really the most un- cj
worldly people living. A lady, let us bi
say, can obtain a certain article at Har- m
lem for fifty-two cents. Very good. ti
She hears, however, that in Twenty- p'
third street the same thing is sold at s(
forty-eight cents. At once she jumps ft
up and goes down town. She pays ten u
cents to the elevated road for her jour- l
ney down and ten cents for her retuirn. a
But she says: 'I have got what I wanted el
for forty-eight cents, while at Harlem it it
would have cost four cents more.' . She i
has positively no idea that the article in a
reality has cost her sixty-eight cents. e
She would laugh at you if you were to tl
endeavor to convince her of that fact."
"She's an exception," said the young t
companion, with a smile. t
"Don't you believe it," commanded 1
the lady of the vigorous mind, almost t
stirring the bottom out of the cup which
contained her chocolate. "She's no ex
ception. I don't say, either, that she's
the rule, but I assert that she represents
a very large class of bargain-hunting
ladies. I should recommentd a complete
course of logic as a remedy of what I I
must consider as an abnormal state of
mind. Doctors may say what they like
about female foibles, but I'm a female,
and I know what those foibles should be.
I suppozc you have never heard that
there exist ladies who make it a part of
their daily duty to visit the principal
stores of the city, look at quantities of
goods, and never buy a cent's worth. I
assure you that's a fact. Some of the
big stores here have made that discovery,
and have, moreover, by engaging the
services of keen-eyed and observant
shop-walkers, so arranged things that
these ladies become known to the sales
men, who consequently decline to waste
their time with them. In a large
Twenty-third street store the other day
I was told that whenever one of these
ladies comes into the establishmeint the
shop-walker conducts her to the desired
counter, says to the salesman the word
'cave,' which, of course, you:. know,
dear, means 'beware,' and leaves her,
satisfied that she will not remain very
long in the store. When 'salesman re
ceives a 'cave' .customer he at once de
clares that the article she desires to see
is 'sold out,' and won't be in stock again
for a long time."
"Well, what do these women mean by
such aimless shopping?"
"Why, my dear, it's a cheap. enter
Stainment. You remember Jionts Chuz
zlewit, who used to visit the outsides of
theaters and the insides of churches be
r cause they cost nothing. Well, the same
1 principle is involved in this aimless shop
nping business. Of course it is an out
r rageous thing to do, butyou know there
are lots of people who will do outrageous
thins, and think nbthing of it.,It Usual
f ly tales a couple of months before ia
'cave' customer can be satisfactorily
e distinruished, this city being so large
Sthat she can divide her unprofitable pat
ronage among many stores. These a
o dies generally carry sachels, and have
a all the appearance of the most inveterate
o shoppers.. They make minute inquiries
e as to the goods they are inspecting, and
always turn away with the words, sor
Srowfully uttered: 'This is not exactly
what I want. How extremely annoy
ing.' And," continued the strong-mind
e odlady angrily, as she paid the waiter
it for her chocolate, and in her deep ab
e straction forgot to "tip" him, "you read
of the poor wretches who are taken to
t, the police station because they are said
a to be disorderly in' causing annoyances
, in the public streets? I have seen a
te poor little banana-seller captured by a
policeman, and numerous others who
are endeavoring to make a livelihood,
Sbecause they have forgotten tlih red
Stape which must be employed in the
e act. But think of these women-these
n obstructions to honest purchasers! They
te may flourish and they may do as they
ho like-." . ..
i? "Weli, how could any one prevent it?"
m asked the girl, impatiently.
s, "I don't say they could, my dear-I
ut don't say they could. I am simuly
he speaking of the injustice of things
ed how everything favors the rich and
ds nothing the poor. The inveterate
h, shopper is, in my opinion, a positive
m nuisance. She can't explain her busi
nt ness satisfactorily. It was all very well
r- for Longellow to' make his namby
n pamby Precissa exclaim: 'I can not
1,' reason; I can only feel.' We want
er reasoning, logical women nowadays.
me- None of your milk-and-water nonenti
id ties for goodness Sake. Lbok ' at
id them! Look at them!" continued the
in strong-minded Iwdy, staring irately at
ly the unconscious shoppers. "Oh, my
sex, that you should have come to
le this! Come, my dear, let us cross the
he road, and pursue the side streets,
id where our eyes will not be offended at
every step we take,"-N. Y.7Sun.
STILL ALIVi~E: ii
faile
Notwithsaluiniug the Gloomy Prognostlca- has
tions of the Republieans the Democracy foau
Has Not Rained the Country.
There is hardly any good Repub- 1n
lican, who voted for Blaine in 1884,
who may not do something for his own
political eddtation by giving a portion Prce
of whatever time he sets apart for'med a t
itation at the beginning of the new P°
year to the consideration of the fears
about his country from which the ex- ctrl
perience of 1885 has delivered him. and
There were intelligent men-we know Gra
many of them ourselves personally- Ma
who thought one year ago that the teal
election of a Democrat to the Presi- nee
dency would produce some terrible Ros
financial disaster so great as to threaten bee:
social order. We can recall one ber
wealthy and still active and prominent reti
Republican who predicted .with much in t
solemnity in November, 1884, that iii ae
one year from .that date workingmen the
would, in the bitterness of their suffer- wol
ing, be knocking down and robbing sor
the. well-to-do in the streets of this city, the
'without interference from the police, not
We know of another who iti a fit of co
mingled rage and despair offered to sell pro
his securities at fifty cents on the dol- ion
jar. hoi
All through the country districts, cie:
particularly in New England, there bee
rested on the souls of Republican men, ica
and particularly on the souls of Repub- pre
bican women, the shadow of a great. 'wo
fear, with which the Republican ora- the
tors and journalists had for many years dul
filled the air. The old gentleman who exj
predicted the great ,robberies and;the
gentlhmtinWho-of1tedd tl sell his pic`~ Cli
erty at half ' ]ide,hfdt ii 'thcir fninid's ha
eye a general closing of the factories rec
brought about by some mysterious tin
move of i Democratic Administration, rai
the exact nature of which they had wi
probably never thodght out for them- the
selves. The bulk of the party was in he
fact in that most melancholy of all sit- pr
uations in which the citizens of a free ec
democratic country can find himself-s
a situation in which he sees at evory; C1
election all that he holds dear put in ti,
imminent peril, in which the question en
is not which of two parties will best of
administer the Government, but wheth- sa
er the Government itself will last m6re he
than three months. sh
The result was that Republicans went gt
to the polls and 'ounted the stump in at
the alarmed, if riot desperate-aild leck- to
less frame of mind,of men who feel that a
they are on the eve of 'a battle which pi
will dispose of both life and fortune. A ri
long succession of political, contests c(
conducted under such conditions would to
of cburse in the end have proved fatal b,
to constitutional government. Men
long tormented by such fears finally w
become ready for any refuge from them d
--even despotism itself. Tilhe deliver- i
anee of the country from this hideous t
nightmare during the past year is, we
do not hesitate to say, a blessing only
second in importance to the suppression c
f of the rebellion, and hardly less neces- S
sary to the safety, honor and welfare f,
of the Nation. For it all Americans, t1
of all parties, ought at the opening of a
the new year to be profoundly thank- t
fnul. It means at last real peace and c
reid security. c
Only one degree less valuable is the
deliverance from the Southern bug- r
bear, which also the past year has wit- e
nessed. Nothing but., actual experi- t
ment would have suficed to destroy
e the old tradition of the slavery period
that the Southern people had interesto
e different from or opposed to thioie'`f t
d the North. There was in the Repub- 1
d lican party a widespread belief that if
tlhey yt intogqower, or .if i a ,Prsidet 1
we' ' e el ted 'by m' ans of theiir "ote,
r' they would in some manner, take im
. mense sums of money out of the Treas
- ury--one estimate of the amount was
$3,000,000,000-and divide it among
e themselves, partly as compensation for
the emancipated slaves-and partly as
compensation for other damage sus
' tained during the war. How they
would get hold of this money, how they
r- would persuade people to lend it to the
z United States, if it were not to be se
of cured by taxation, and bow they would
- manage to have the taxation borne by
t- abhlyiw peope lever asked themselves.
re 'The phrase, "the Confederacy again in
u the saddle," was in fact considered a
sulficient answer to all cynical de
Smands for minute particulars.
ly Moreover although it was the pride
ge and boast of the Hepublican party that
* the war had destroyed slaveory, and al
la- thouh it was a cardinal article iq the
Rve Replnlican creed that it was slavery
te wyhich made the South hostile.to tihe
le Union, nievertheless untii last year the
nd fact that slavery was really (lead was
or- never tloroughly brought home to the
tly minds of the voters. Very much like
)y- the man who still feels pains in the leg
Id- he has lost by amputation, .the party
ter still felt the pangs of the old South in
Stheir bones, and nothig but a l)emno
iad cratic triumph would ever have relieved
to them. In the imagination of multi
aid tudes, the Yanceys, the Rhetts, the,
ces Brookses, and all the other 'fire-eaters'
a were still brandishing, their plantation
ya whips, and preaching the degradation
rho of labor, and threatening dissolution
od, for the sake of the peculiar institution.
red Cleveland's election may be said to
the have'banished all these phantoms from
ese the Northern brain.-N. Y. Post.
hey Can't " Make Him Out".
Tihe "practical politiciahnq" who cou.
gregate at Washington tind President
SCleveland more and moresf ani enigma
ply every day, and conifess themselv-isut
- terly unable after the observatioh aiid
nd experience of nine months, to make
ate out what manner of a man he is. One
te of them, a Republican Senator, trained
usi- in the school of the: spoilsman-says
ill that tlh' Presidentis "either a very
by- big mnair or it very little one", he is
not .nt quite sure which, but the former
ant opinion is evidently gaining ground
ss. among Congressmen, however careful
tt.they mpy be about giving it expression.
at Certainly Mr Clevelan rhas thus far
the proved' entirely too 'bg ': a niap for
a t any Senatorial syndicate or junta of
my members to manage, and the success
to with which he has resisted the tremen
the dous pressure brought to bear to swerve
eta, him from tne line of policy announced
L a
tii his niaugural address can not have
failed to inspire the politicians, as it
has the country at large, with a pro
found respect for his ability, his cour, bel?
ane and his force of character.--Chicago tiota
2ime's. my l
PATRIOTIO WISDOM. . bab
Preqidept Cleveland's Correspondence with
a Member of the Grand Army of the Re- eye,
public.
Elsewhere appears an interesting Smi
correspondence between the President "Ou
and General Ross, an officeri of the YaU
Grand Army and the publisher of the
Maryland Veteran, a journal which of I
sealoitsly looks after the rights and' rest
needs of. the old soldiers. General tent
Ross believed that injustice had stuf
been done 'in the dropping of a mem- aid.
ber of the Grand Army in the course of -
retrenchment and lessening the force plai
in the Baltimore Custom House.' He, for1
accordingly, very properly addressed or
the President on the matter. We cou
wonder that Mr. Cleveland's predeces- clir
sors were not similarly admonished by
the heads of the Orand Army, for we wei
noticeo, in General Ross' second letter a
complaint that "the statutes made and `
provided in our interests have been so blo
long disregarded that our .soldiers' ful
homes are tilled with competent, efih ald
cient and honorable men, who have
been driveni there because their phys- -
ical disabilities are of a character that,
prevents them.from battling, with the
.world in business' competition: With hI
those w so were well housed and fed str
during four years of what was to Ups ;
exposure and privations."
'this could scarcely be the case if Mr. thi
Cleveland's Republican predecessors
had been careful'to do what the laws cei
required and what their party so con- Ath
tinuously promised to do for the vete- Al
rans of the Union. These will read
with pleasure General Ross'. statement
that Mr.:Cleveland has given "patient
hearing to every petition sent him, and
prompt action in many deserving va
cases . " '
"I have adopted the theory," Mr. he
Cleveland writes,., "that the. spirit of pr
the la'w requires that 'the 'same prefer- in
ence should be applied to the retention hi
of soldiers when a reduction is neces- H
sary as to their appointment." And
he adds: "It is well that associations ye
should exist such as you represent, or- in
ganized for the purpose of protecting "1
and enforcing the right thus guaran- di
teed by law: The statute is based upon n(
justice and a proper and generous ap- de
preciation of the services of those, who ca
risked their lives.for the' safety of their'
country. in her time of need. The l .t
I ter and spirit of its provisions should
1 be fairly and in good faith observed."'
I But the soldiers will not complain .
P when the President adds that fitness fqr
duties must also be copsidered; for the 1c
law made for their protection 'and in
their interest by a Republican Con- '
e gress declares this in explicit words.
Y It reads: '"Persons honorably dis
a charged , from the Military or Naval
Service by reason of disability resulting 'T
e from wounds or sickness incurred in
' the line of duty shall be preferred for
f appointments to civil offices, provided.
they are found to possess .the business.
capacity necessary for' the proper dis
charge of the duties of such offices" '
e Hence the President adds:. "I do a
- not suppose you claim that this prefer
ence should be carried so far is to re
i' tain those who are unworthy or in
'Y efficient.. The law which you quote
was not ;eipeted in its operation to im
t pair the public serV-ice, ist to secure
the recognition in public employment,
by a preferenice in selections, of such of
thc cbiprgud-*ýoldier s an1d eaiot'smn-,
rt Itioned hi the stuti& coul and
e, would furnish fitithftdf' 'id efficient
n- work." That, it seems to us, every
s- honorable. v,etran will agree to.-N. IY.
as Herald.
or . A 'Foolish "Fling",.
s- Never,before in ihistory, it may be
cy safely said, did the cqnquered ·yep in'a
ey civil war administer upon th. rewvrds
he paid for 'the services of the conquerorp.
e This unique spectacle is afforded by the
presene' of Secretary Lamar ~t the'
Shead of the Department of the Interior,.
a- and eonseqently thle arbitratorof Union.
es. pensions.' Never befoi'e in history did
inthe conquered speak with enthusiasnm'
a of these. rewards paid to the men who
do- conquered. him; or declare that they
might'~well be' greateit;' and that they
ide were. the most sacred:obligations of the
hat Nation. Never before in. history was
al- so fi'ank'and ginerous a sentiinent his
the torted and mutilated by political op
cry ponentswho never shed anything more'
the terrible than ink in such a conquest.
the This haslie been' dotie bysome of the
ras Republican irgans,:one of which says
the of this defense :of the pension system
like by an ex-Colfederate, that "it glows
leg with all the ardoi of an enithusiast'who'
Irty would like to see it extended to the fel
Sin lows who fought on the othpr side".
o-There isnot a line or a word or a hint
ved in Secretary Lamar's report, 'suggest
ti- ing that he wishes pensions extended
the to "the fellows who fouglit'on 'the dtlc
ters side3', He knows too well-if th Phil
tion adelphis Press, the author of these
tion words, dbes not-that even if he did
tion wish it the Conistitution absoIbtely tot
ion. bids it.-Dielroit Free Press.
om Healthy deas.
President Clevel~aid Ldeseives the
thanks of all sensible mothers in the'
United States. As a married iman the
'" President; it is acknowledged, would
lent le a model. In setting the fashion .of
S'early 'hoirs at the White House the
SW'Executive has' declared war against
ad pallid complekions, sunken eyes'and
hakS pre ~aturely shattered nervoussystems.
One Turning night into day is a modern
ined idea. Even in the wild times df the
says Restoration, whe,,LNel. Gwynne was
rery the reigning star, plople ttended
e is Drury Larie 'Theater.by 'daylight. 'A
mer hundred years ago Society went homea
und in pattens not later than eleven or at
reful latest twelve 'ieloclf. UfrdIr the jires.
iqn. t unnatural systeMt beauty' sleep is
ifar possible, and the shadow of prema
for ture old a'ge statds'grinniing behnd thQd
a of orchestra. The Prestileht is 'a man-f
cess healthy, old-fashioned, rational ideas,
naen- and the man or woinan wh&-desires to
'erve get the best of him must rise i~head of
aced the lark.-N. Y. Joubrna.
pAiNH ANl POINT. E DI
-"Do you wish to be my wife, Ma
bel?" said a little by. . "Yes," incau- ' SM
tiously answered Mtibel. "Th~ n pull ofi
my. boots."-Pall alll Gazette. n.. YU
-A mant who is willing to, hold the And o
baby part of the time and grease the slown,
griddle in' the :morning is, in woman's To the
eye, the only substitute for cash,; :: Ti
-"I've.eaten, next to nothing," lisped
Smithers, who was dining with his girl. Al al
"Oh, I alWays do that when I sit by Which,
you," responded the young lady, pleas- Work
antly.-Sam. Abeet
-"Give is the ballot-box," is the cry You we
of but very few of the fair sex, while the ' prin
rest of our -feminine dpopulation is cop First ye
tent with being allowed to frequently soonmt
stuff the banid-box.-Philadelphia Herr Sendi
aid. .' Then
-It is said that' "'an .,hio• man !rakin
planted the first American' flag in Cali- For y
fornia soil in 1833." 'Whether it grew You w'
or not is not stated; but we suppose of Bour
'course it did.: They have a glorious A dtl
climate out there.-Lowell Citizen. At thel
-A man in Northampton County " S eye
went to sleep in an engine house :us- O'er
inm a bqx of dynamite, for a. pillow.
W' en he awoke he found his head A rm,
blown off. It miust have been a pain- WOand
ful surprise to .him.-Norristown Her- Js t
aid. Eq
aInnocence Out of tlih City.-'"iI wish A
yonud let me go to the city.with you,
Charlie, dear," said a young wife to her
husband, who is on the Stock Exchange; ."TH
*"I should so like jUist for once to take a
stroll through the money market."-N. now He
F'. Ledqer.. •. Lu
-Mr. Middlemas met three tramps "Well
this morning;' to the first he gave five
cents, to the second ten cents, and to somewh
Sthe third ten cents-what time was it? stirred
All give it up? Want me to tell you? news th
Why, it. is easy to see what time it was The o
"-a quarter to three."-N~. . independ- row bet
eit.
---Notthig makes a man feel the luted wi
value of an economical wife so much as was spO
when he finds that the hundred, dollats "Ver
be had given her to .buy Christmas "There
presents with has beeii invested in pay- of the c
mg her dressmaker's bill and buying The(
'him a corn-cob pipe.-Fall River bread b
Herald. orderly
-Wife-"Aren't you going to eat orde
your pudding, deare" Hiusband (pok- hearted
in it disparagingly with his spoon)- few mo
"It would killme to eat that mess of in- busines
digestible stuff.' Wife-"I know it's Butiis'
not very nice, but you had better eat it t
dear. Ihate to see it wasted."-Chi- "Tel
cage Mail. And in
--Triies 'are'iretty hard with' ome of leavini
' ' thq.mllbrokers in :the new.iboard of: foupft
trade district.. A de.f and dQnb ian. at the
wet ihto a'ii' offide in the open Bioard' of "il
"Trade . Building the other day; and, ing his
ýi seizing a. piece.pf paper, wrote:, "! am "what
.hungry. The broker took the piece of The
.paper, read the uhap'py 'words and p1athy
scrawled undert4hem ::"So m I.---Qhis- but he
cago Herald. . sue
.-She should have darned 'em--.
a The beautiful maiden Is shopping to-say, iwt 41
Quite busy, and to her surprlse,. . , pt
Whllethrdugh the thronge street she is
. taking her way, war
d Her beau in the street she espies.
Good gracious! 'tis saful! He's -coming, no 'trescit
doubt, down
- And swift;to. er, heart strikbe a pain; down
The eyes of affection will single, her out, anima
:He'll see hier and speak, that is plain. into i
o She halts, blushes redly, then crosses thb
r : street,-' .. , , . h",. 1
Avoiding the youth that she loves; turou.
- Themaidit would mortlfymudh should they 't th'
- meet-- t
There are holes itihe tips Of her; govest da
--oston Courier.. or
re .. - . "---ý-: . " Haust
SA GREEN ONE .. much
Sthe p
Se' B ys a nrwjalle- D 'on W o" iever
nt ,{ no." I 1 .diers
"There are some m!glity, green men even
t. j this world," said the pslnpger, fromm ndas
tleo'West, "and I struck one of 'em a
we-i' h' tw ago. If Ihadn' t ' duri
wotildn't' be he ilw.-. Last spring I rned
be 'went .out in: aWestern' Nebraska 'ind arms
na horpeteaded a quarter section. ,I hadn't WI
seen the land, bptttook it supposin' it ferost
Swas all right. But.len I, got there until
e I found it ,lrdit~re inhabited. About tavot
the' one hundred knd fifty acres of th6 him.
or, on, hthdred mid sity were covered At
With a prairie.dog town.: Well, I con- an
s .eluded to settle down and: see what.I time
rho could do, and I'm mighty glad noW Ihisi
iey that-I did. ,About two weeks ago I ousi
iey was upto the railroad station trying to with
the get trusted, for some bacon and flour "
vas and'terbacker, an' fqelin' right S~aipart Nilu
is- discouraged. I was o~it of money and qob,
op- grub, ad. the winter was comimn'" n
ore fist, an I couldn't seeanyway out of it is
but to eat prairie dogs; .and they're
the mighty hard !to eatch. .But::that ':day: witl
ays was the turni.g point in: my 'luqk.- He
;em While I was at the station an Eplish slo
ws manri got boff the cars, an saidi ow can
vlte' he was oit'Wst Iooklin',for :a place to Fea
fel- mIake an iniv'etinetitt atild hi'd heid mei
Le". o' the" fur .businnesg ian' wanted to san
int 'hnow if he nwas -ouin the':ur country'
est- yet., ., . . , ' " hi
ded , Ftre,', ,Tay4,:; 'there bain't no't'- at
blier an' just then an idea struck me, an' I rtot
'hil- cha~ged mYtue. 'Eurs,' says I, 'there wai
les .ain't no' bettir fir country than this on tw(
did 'arth. Jhst come out to my place till I tal
fo- show you my fur farm ' of
'"And he .went out with me, an' I gem
showec him the prairie-dog, town, an', lik
as luck wouldpi have it, it was a bright, Ir
the stuny day, an', the, tors were out scot-.
in' aroutrd by. the hidnreds. ' '
the ,,.'Talkin'n aliofifurs;' says I, 'what I
the 'd'ye think of that. v":ve behn six yeairs ev
.ld growih' thdse mifk, :in' haindit sold a th
S.of ide; ,It's all natuital, greas.. Guess
the they's 'bout seven thousand of~ 'em pow,, in
dnst an' they double every year. ,'Uow many
will !herl be ite ten years?' I
i Ybui ot~ghteri'sebn that E Ilshlimini s sh
dyes open 'a ie took' oUt his pelie an'
rthe 14ured'it upl iHe made it: 7,168,000 ili
mink. :. .' th
e ,Wll,' Isays, '~call it ,,00,000 t I es
'A on the Saf9 side, : It won'tcosl ,dollar th
Sto keip "em, eiheT, a.,if t 're:woth of
rat a debt' te worth, ar apiece. t
The~"'siniliton' in it" "'..
f Ts Ihen u5we'et right down tohusiness iat
an' in less than an hour I had 'sold oat a'
S'for.peyep thousand dollars dash, anu the 'a
fdollars r. .the' hon9stea at, the Lan4!
()p1int, , and transferred it 'a
id to himand took the .iirst tr~aiin for'~t~e
East. Step into ·the buffer with me,
Sartner, an' take a dirik."--Chicago
I r¢ald,
tied him;
- 'SMALL AND TRIFLING." chairs, a
SIn your baud you hold an acorn, "All r
Ieeming t a worthless tng, thema
| And you cast it from your eepng. the leat
Rain, anddew, and sunlight, bring.
Slowly, surely, an awakening a sound
. To the acpos ltlp heart,. great. bu
Till the tlny germ inwithin It
Makes a sudden, silent start..
Time goes on. You have forgotten Killer".
All about the little shell,
= Which, as years lip -into decades.
Works its secret.mnis5iou well.. little til
Ab, could you but~read the-future,
See what comgyeaUxan tell, ways re
5 You would scarce believe the wonder
e Springing from that acorn hell! it out of,
i. First you see come slowly peoping Then
From the grround a tiny sprout; floor, to
.. doon'twould be a tender saplong, men, he
- Sending budding leaflets out.
Then you'd see, as years passed onward, - Prayer:
What, as boy, you'd thrown away . One b
S Mlaking cool and gratefplshdow the li
S For your silvered head some day. lith tl
- - -with ar
' You would see the forest growing of With
pf Bound the grand old parent tree; .
Hear the woodman s axe resounding, quests f
M And the -busy builders sec- "'jg ul
At their work on ship and dwelling;
See the vessel proudly, glide, -
S Carrying a precious burden. through
Bc O'er the ocean wild and. wide. he prt
Ah, my boys, we can not always - a
id From a ccnue judge its ffect. windy,
1- Grand results.may lie safe hiddent hi
In some duty you'd neglect
- Just because twus small:and trifling. there
So, mylads, ust watch; you'll see repeat
- AirthroUgh lifte that-trifles often - mcht4
h (akeo mar a destiny. muh t
p, .-c.-a. Tlheri ins Golden Day. rough
er - whom
e; ,"THE LITTLE COLQNEL." couldtl
a and al
h. How He Showed His Love for Those Who cored
Had Loved and Befriended Him-His love an
Faithful Dog.
"Well, my man," asked the Colonel BiB,
to somewhat anxiously as he slowly co 1
,t? stirred his breakfast coffee, "what ern sea
a? news this morning?" Pride:
's The orderly stood straight as an ar- droopi
row before his superior officer, and sa- cliffs
he luted with military pre6ision when he ing it
, was spoken to. for Jer
is "Very bad, sir," he answered. dine 1
,as "There are four new cases, and some length
ly- of the other men are sickening." go at
ng The Colonel's little son put down the his het
bread he was eating, and scanned 'the: "He
at orderly's face with distressful sqrutiny.. he sali
"t ear me! Dear me!" said lus.kind- much
)k hearted father, hastily swallowing g .a w
.~ few more mouthfuls - "This is ,a bacd to ge
in- business. Where is the doctor' now, when
it's Burnis?" and tU
"Ia the Second vard;' sir."-. came
hi. "Tell him 1 will 'be there diretly.'l and c
Aid in a few: minutes he Lhurried away, -leavili
of leaving his little:son and- a huge New- n or
of. foup4ald dog to finsh their ;breakfast int
i. at their leisure. ileitlii
l of ' glus,'" said th ':little frllow, r'est- they
,nd, 'ing :his hand on thq dog's shbggy :head; aiers'
am "what will ýve.,dp e IQ, ut.it?" . , luteo
Sof Tlhe dog looke up with.deep sy - .ad y
and latliy epriese in his beautiful eyed, Poc
iJhisi but he could Piotthink of ainythillg, to it all
ouryear8s 'iefore' when the regiiie t i
way crossing  streteli .of desert in day
gypt, .he.good, do followjpg,. after
e is had fainted . and, 'fa'llein for. want of t
water."' Thenir he bby hatd fcori tatoef that
no resce,: alli.witb,pit ing heart knelt 'ital;
down on thebot and, and gave the ij
animal hlis'tihdi .l'ýiius, looking iP thee
- into tll littl1white tface bending over- The
-h hiun,,lielýed the child's hand with rap; man
turous gratitude, and 'from that time he se
they'to thi' hal followed 'him nighit arid quiet
' .cet d a y . . . .  b e i •o t t
.t. " For two years they had been in Ber-, t
miida, and the' chahnge from thie e- mos
' ,lausting climate o of" Egypt .had .done i
,much for the boy's health. But still. then
the pale face and .tiny form would wart
i jiever be ruddy and strodtg, di the tl- "Iea
- : .diers.would fain like to see them. -For, er'
men even more than to his busy father, it ýeh
from as to them that little Jerome' Mait-'
land'owed his bringing up.: :. :' .
m Iismot er ha44 Odied. at . bth,, and wa$
during h li biyhood he had'.'ben car- Ittl
ing I rled abott"first' I' ne pair of tohg unk
tad arms, then in another. -- his
adn't When the officers' wives would inter- ter
fere and carr.:him off he 'would ' oty chil
p' it most piteousy, for his rough nuruss, mid
until'they etr obliged to call' i he -
kbout favorite: youting subaltern to- pacify (jol
! him. ., . .e..
and with Whom he had spent' all his
con- little life, were. dying. 'How many fall
hat .times hadthey watched beside him in hes
now his childish ilneshes, or made the tdi- hits
ago I ous days 'of eamp,ilife bright for hiin:
ing to with some clever dqyieet ..
flour "We must dc something about it,
expart Nilus," he 'repeated, with' 'little dry
y nid qob, "'but whaltl cfn we do" -: .
n" on Ie stood atthe door ani looked ,up ,
,of it 'isimllv ait 'the bairack liospital.
hey're, Jjtiat henULieutenint Plef add tht
,ttlay with two or three books uperu arm. i
'luqk. He watched. him as. he .went ywith
glish( slow, erstsep, aid suddeiily iinldda
s .ho. came mo to his head. He knewiwhat
ice to' Fearing was going to do-read to the W
heaid. men; andi why' could  he Inot' do- the mi
ed to samething?. . -:
,ntry No sooner did the tiought oceprto ,
- hint thai' he stfrted off to' takea 'look
no'tl--- at'his polleetipa of booo., ,:They er e
an' .I iot many, or particularly choice,There
'thiere was "'The Boy'S Own Book", oneor in
his on two "Annuals , some volumes of tfairy -e
till I tales, and a beautiful illustr~ated.ei~iio~ d
of "Jack the Giant Killer". le liti
an' I gored over this. Perhaps they fiight
i, an', like to.see the pictures, and itwassuchrno
bright, Irge, clear print he could read it easi- t
scoot. ly. So choosing this at ledlth hoe aid e
ilus started of for the hopital. 11
'what Before he had-reached the door, how
xyears ever, he was stopped by the officer of .i
Stold a the day. . .
GueMe " My orders don't admit of your go- w
iow,in mg in ,thero, sir," he said decidedly.
Smany, "Oh please, Fri," pleadedJerogie, s
.s I WrdinZ 'top' olog.'" But the soldier t
shook his head. , : r ' ' ..
icil n" ' ." T py'i too knocked up tppay.
168,000 uch atteniition, even toyou, sir.. But
S there" k'a oi tof' fellows in' th : dtifal2l i
00 tojbe escent goit~l, .P'.rapsp ybu might-go.:
a dollar there." , So Nilus and Jerome stnrtetd
h, off ian;, and this time diet with nob
T.he :aea were 'all seated or' tyng;
iiness airound :in differbntuattidtBes, lin.,the"
odd out common roolp, sore. 'of: them'nlayin- :
arn.the 'ards. But when they looked up and
sd ty .tBth.slight, boyish.larm sthnding in
e iei hedCoorr ay e, citrds were..puse
Eere i asi a nignl.a chorus of w~lcomne to, their,
for"'th "'tie'Cibonei" was heard on all sides.
rith me, "I thought perhaps you might be
-Chicago kind of dull," observed Jerome, after ,
a little, "so I brought one of my pict
ure books.to read to you,"' and he set
tied himself on one bf the high wooden
chairs, and opened the book.
"'Alliright, little Coloniel, fire away,"
the'man said cheerily, and as soon as
the clearechildish.voice commenced not
a sound *as beard.l in the. room, the
great bury-4eUlowsllowing with al
most childish interest and respect the
varied fortunes of. "Jack the Giant
Killer".
'At the conclusioll the : child said, a
little timidly: "Lieutenant Fearing al
ways reads a little prayer when he gets
through. I haven't any book to read
it out of, but we can say one."
Then kneeling down on the stone
floor, to the utter astonishment of the
men, he reverently repeated the Lord's
Prayer.
,, One byl one they joined in, and when
the little fellow rose from his knees
with a radiant oduntenance and trotted
off with 'Niuns, theW were many re
quests for him to ., ome again" and
givie us another rending".
£The fever .waxed and waned, but
through it all the convalescent ward
kept pretty full.
,y:after.d~ry, no matter how:hot or
windy, Jerome would climb up, the
steep hill leading to the' hospital and
there read hisi little simple' stories and
repeat. his d4ily prayer.. He wanted so,
much to do something for them, these
' rough nurses and ilayfielbws of his,
whom he loved, and, this `was i all .h
could think of. lhe.rough. men knew
and". iaprediated the feelhng, acid we6l
ho comed'their' 'little dolofel"- with ready
love and sympathy.
nel But,Bdeir mes t Howtwarm the days
bwer.~;beginnigg ;,tp w.' . A hot' st
Wly rocco blew ,constantly from the south
hat ern seaa, mikliig ll the foliage but the
Pride of, India tmeess look dead' and
ar- drooping. .Eyen the ocean beat on the
sa- cliffs below the barracks at Prospect
Swith a dull; sullen otnd.' Each morn
ihe g it seemed to bei hrder than the last
for Jerome to climb up that sunny in
ed. eline towilrdsf the lioh~pital, and at
nne length one nmorning he was too tired to
go at-sall...
SWhen the doctor saw him he shook
the his hd : :hea .
the: "He;,hasgot a slight attack of fever,"
any. he said, "but I am afraid. there is not
nd- much stikgth to carry it off."
a A eek .passed;,but he did not seem
to get .much,.btter, until one ,night
hOW, when the stars wepe shining, gloriously
and the sea' was very still; the 'ahnels
came down from. the..Thrope.of. Gopd,
sly." and carried Jerome back with them,
flay, leavilago~ly his Akttla tirhe body sleep-.
ew in on his white bed.
ast t iis f ather had not seen the angels,
nieitlier had' the: oldiers.; 'S; when
rest they cine t'lshfmlm to testhi:i the sol
toad; .diers' cnetettry,'aid' Ilte'afiparting sa
luteover the tiny mound, there was- not
sym- a dry eyen a hat,re imeit
ed Poor Nius!. He pould nt.tei what,
. to it allt' imeant And 'lien they went
'awa~ id ',ft"'hislittle 'ni'ister with
iet 'nly theea it'talkt' f him all the-long
t a in snd nighthe lay down beside-the
after an noone could: get him away.
$of t .tnext morning at the same hour
Sthe that ýerome always went to the hos-..
knelt pital,'Nilhs as seen gravely wending
is 'ay up 'there,' and walking into
g up the common:roim' took his usual place.
over. The miengathered around him with
rap; manyexpressions of endearment, but
time he seemed.to tkc. all their advances
ad' quietly. In. about.,an . hour's time..he
er t up and went away, but each day
i Ber- e 'sine think was "epeated. It' al
to most seermd that;,unseen to them, the
donee siritof the :boy' still' lingered among'
still. them, '.Anduiold ,Nilus'dlid: much to- .'
Rould wardkeepimg wamn anl brightbiwheir
Fo r1- ieartireplgp i-, little inas
,For, terys As often as
her i appronchinig,. '
'Mait t' t ial'Voeaidns mere' 're:pput aide
'd irdthait'our for' many'long months
h,, and was.keptrsaered to the memory of their
1n er- IttleColpnel. . Nepr" an .ath ,-or. an:.
trohg unki diqd woy di4 Nilus ever hear .in
his presence, and tle men were bet
inter- ter 'aid purer for the memory' of the
Id 'ty child-life that hatd one out froint their
xursps, midst. ' '
" ,Tell:us tlhe. story about'the little
pacify :olonel l ,and)~,u the soldiers', chil
loved, eimed otieir athrs' knes thy
all his Sb' the oft-told ta wvas repeated with
many falte'riig lip's,ti be tiasurled up in the
him in hearth of mny'Who had: never known
le te- hinu,-N.,. Y. 'Obstwerv
or hiin_
out it, THE ENGINtER'S STORY.
tie dry :: '" . :
Two Red .J4gts on the Tirek L-,ok Like
kedu a Mountain of're fsi tone.
I. "Ever ridc opn an engine on a dark,
see tor~py niggt, phl have you learned
.arm whataed light means? I remember..
bwith pon b~lpak,. drefrytight. in. the winter
S-hat f i877, I was running  ,.the Erie.
to the We were belind, time, .and were skin-,.
do. the ming!,.dpri tthe hill ,tow~ard..ldean ,4
-:when wp ,roundcd .t.e. ourve and.d sw
>cpr to what see.ei,to be, plaze of red light.s
ea look iebdol .a ,~ It.. ised.to - me that the
e.u~uihottry waaon lire, y.heart-hart inped
one ok into my throat, andI ~tought my time
of fairy'had come. I reversed my:lever, put.
Ie!iio on the, air-brokes:, and : opened. the
te lii- throttle wide.. 'My fireman had j.ump-:
Stight ed, with serious consequences to hinm
Sit easi self,.and I thought I wasa goner., I'
h t aiid let one brief prayer escape from my
al. lips, and, felt. torible j ..ng.
'or, how- "At fist it flashed thro.ugh my mind.
ofler of that we had s~rck,'but as I heard the
jarring'o the heels' I ;f9uhlnd' that 'ire
your go- were almost ft a dead stop, the wheels
dedly. slipping on aecont of the force of the
Jeroqe, steam which had run up. Just about
e sodier two foeet frout us was the caboopo ofa
frejgh tr, whlich wevitould have rin
p tpay itl.adwe not s~tpped mn time. After
r. . But texCithement' is over one infernal
e~ftol- oolf ot'ahu~eilger came up and hked
migbgo. ehywe i d stoppedt so 'quick, swear
S ing.at bOthi;the rtad and. myself for
ritho tolppii~g aina. so quick. 'he cylinders
pt -y fngie cut s. littl on.account of
or tying the cmdoers which ..we1. drawn in
es lngthe th-ongli reversing, but bey~hd that no
a nplaying dam6g was'do6ne.
i up and *You' can bet youear bottoni dollar.
aning in my:boy,ithat the two red lights bn the
re..pu 'hed back of that caboose looked to me that
ae totheir, lghuht more like a great mountain of
i all sides restone on the track than tbhey dW
might be like two inoffensive Saso" lights."
ome, after , Bufalo Ezsresu.

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