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"The Wor~ld is Groverned Too Much."
HIERYF I. lIl088AT, Buriilness Manaper. ' ~- ALEXANDRIA, LOUISIANA, WEDNESDAY,' FEBRUARY 3, 1886. VOL. XLL.--NO. 39.
THE RELIABLE LAWYER.
In his office sat a lawyer,
When a customer came in,
Whom he greeted with a glad ana
Most enthusiastic grin.
"'Can I hire you" said the comer,
"In my case against Bill White?"
"Surely," said the able lawyer,
"1 nill get him (l dead to right;
He is buhit a swindling villain,
And I'11 bring him to his knees;
You're a gentleman, dear Johnson.
Pay a hundred dollars, please."
Johnson went, another entered
With appearance of affright.
"Say," he said, "can I engaze you?
I am known as William White;
I have sued Eilas Johnson,
And I want to do him up."
"I," replied tile able lawyer,
Have a grud,,e against the pup,
So if you will pay two hundred,
I will see thie matter thronarh,
And I'll guarantee to roast him,
And to win the case for you."
- 'The Whip.
A Naturalist's Experiments in
Snakes That Simulate Vines-Lizards That
Threw Their Tails Away-Deceitful But
terflies-Savage Stamps and Roots
Animal Sea Weeds and Rooks.
"Southern California is a line coun
try in which to study the local fauna.
There is so much pleasant weather that
-one can put in a good deal of field
work." The speaker was an East
ern naturalist, who had some months
since come from the East and taken
up his temporary residence in a moun
tain resort in Los Angeles County, for
the purpose of observing the animals
and their habits. He had just arrived
in this city, called hither by some busi
"No, 1 have not found anything spe
cially new," continued the speaker, in
reply to a question by a reporter. "I
lo not expect to. If you will accom.
pany me to my lodgings, however, I
may show you something of interest,"
After it brisk walk of a few blocks, the
temporary quarters of the naturalist
were reached. He said: "My attention,
jTst now, is directed toward certain
phases of animal life, principally the
methods of protection and defense, and
"You don't mean that animals mimic
"Certainly, and, as an example, pick
out the aninmals on this branch," and
the naturalist took from the mantel
and handed to the reporter a.branch
of aider. It was examined, as was sup
posed carefully, but no living creature
could be seen.
"That demonstrates the perfection of
mimicry," said the host, as he laugh
ingly touched one of the leaves, that
immediately walked off and became an
"That insect," he continued," "that
you could not distinguish from a leaf,
finds its protection in mimicing leaves.
You see how exactly its wings mimic
them in color, veining and in other re
splcts. And not only that; when I
caught it it came fluttering down from a
tree with the same motion as a leaf, and
if my dog had not directed my attention
to it I should have passed it by. It is a
very common and interesting example."
'What is there here?" inquired the
reporter, leaning over a box of plants
and vines that stood-on the window sill.
"On the vine is a green snake that
mimics vines. I brought it from the
East, and on the stems you will see a
munmber of green spiders that affect green
plants. All snakes find protection more
or less in their simulation of other ob
jects. Take the rattlesnakes, that, by
the way, are all hibernating now; they
so imitate the barren rocks, among
wvhich they live, that it is almost impossi
ble to distinguish them unless you see the
outline of the form. In the tropics you
see large boas and pythons hanging
froim a tree, and from a distance they
are perfect mimics of the lianas that are
one of the characteristic features of tilhe
'.Here is a case," continued the speak
er, taking the top from a large glass
box, the bottom of which was filled with
sand, "do you see anythinog?"
The writer looked steaiily, at a lon
anld short range, and was finally obligc
to confess that sand was the only object
The naturalist then introduced a
pointer, and immediately a lizard, three
Inches long, broad and flat, appeared
and ran around the inclosure with a
rapidtl, uncertain motion. "It's a horned
toad, really a lizard," explained the
owner, laughing, "and is a remarkable
niilnuie. as you see, of the sand. In
hunting for them in the valleys I never
could see them except when they started
utip, and when they stopped it was to dis
appear, so complete was their identity
lost. You see this is the protection of
n:ature that all animals possess outside
of their special organ of defense. It is
a phase in the evolution of life, all ani
,uals becoming adapted to their environ
ments. There is nothing sta'rtling in
nature; the forms of animals all blend
with their surroundtings. This creature
mimics the dry, sandy wastes that it af
fects; but go to the woods, especially of
the south, and we tind myriads of forms
that imitate the leaves and twigs. Green
lizards lie before our eyes andt defy us;
the tree toads crouched on the leavesare
invisible; the bullfrogs in the sedges by
the bank of the pond are rendered in
conspicuous by their rich green coat;
then turn to the toad, that wanders
along the dusty roads and bare tracts of
lamnd, and we see it dust-colored or mot
tied, linding in this a sure protection.
"BHut to return to the lizards. There
are sonme curious cases among the
geckos. Here is one, dead, that is called
the !eaf-tailed gecko. You see the tail
bulges out soon after leaving the body,
aiii assumes a leaf or arrow shape;
hence the name of the animal, Now,
when the little creature is chased you
kill see it dodge around a limb and hold
up the curious leaf-like tail. That is all
you can see, and so, naturally, would
think it a part of the tree itself. But
this lizard has a more remarkable
method of escape yet We will imagine
that you have tried to pluck the leaf.
The! animal drops clumsily to the
ground, and darts away among the
rocs, where it attracts the attention of
the hawks that are forever prowling
around; immediately a chase ensues;
the bird gains, and is finally about to
pounce upoli its prey when all at once
two lizards ~appear, one making off
while the other dances up and down
into the air and along the ground in a
very mysterious way, so that the aston
ished bird stops and looks. In the mean
time the original lizard escapes; the
other, that is really the tail, soon be
comes quiescent. You see the gecko
has the faculty of throwing off its tail
when hard pressed, and while the pur
suer's attention is drawn to the squirm
ing member, the animal itself escapes."
"But it loses its tail?" suggested the
"Only for a time. They can repro
duce this organ, and, curiously enough,
sometimes two tails are produced instead
of one. There is a great variety of these
geckos, and they all have some protec
tion. In another class of lizards, as the
anolis and chameleon, the other
changes, and they are enabled to adapt
themselves to any location in which
they may find.themselves.
"If," continued the naturalist, "we
look among insects, we find a remark
able display of mimics. Perhaps you
have noticed in the woods how often
butterflies dart up.where you have not
noticed them. They have been protect
ed by their simulation to theleaves and
flowers, and the birds that prey upon
them are equally deceived. In the
southern part of this State wonderful
examples are seen in the walking-sticks
and the mantis. The former seemto be
actual twigs, endowed with lire, the
body is strmght, seeming a twig, while
the legs are like branches from it, and
with its slow methodical movements it
would hardly be considered a living
creature. Some of these in South Amer
ica attain a length of eight inches. An
allied form in Central America. found
by Belt, the naturalist, so mimiced a
moss-covered twig that even a close
examination sometimes puzzled the ob
server. The leaf insects are
particularly interesting, as they
are almost exact in their resem
blance to dead and living leaves: so
much so that they even deceive the for
aging ants that rush over them, not
suspecting that in the fallen leaf is the
syily mimic they would fain capture.
Among the plume moths are many of
such delicacy that they resemble the
down of plants in their flight through
the air, and when alighting on a flower
their animal nature would never be sus
"One of the most beautiful cases of
protective mimicry is that of the orange
tip butterfly. When open it is very
plainly seen, its wings being of white,
black and orange, and flying about is
quite conspicuous, but as soon as it
alights upon a favorite plant and closes
its wings, it becomes at once an exact
mimic of the white blotches of the under
"These animals," continued the
speaker, "you see, generally mimic
plants or twigs, but there are others that
are more remarkable from the fact that
they mimic animals that from their pois
onous qualities are safe from attack.
Thus it is well known that birds do not
especially care for hairy butterflies. In
Central America Belt found a curious
beetle that was a' tidbit for the birds,
clothed in a coat of long brown
hairs, closely resembling the thick hairy
caterpillars. In the same localities
spiders have been found that looked ex
actly like ants, and were thus enabled to
creep upon their prey, the real ants.
Wallace observed a butterfly that, though
an acceptable morsel to the birds, de
ceived them by mimicking the flight of
a poisonous butterfly. If a bird chased
it, it at once assumed the curious and
laborious flight of its poisonous model,
and the bird noticing its evident mis
take, would ahlways give up the pursuit.
"In Africa there is a tribe that utilize
the art of mimicry very much as do the
lower animals. The natives are great
thieves, and at one time it was found
necessary to send out a troop of English
soldiers to break them up. The latter
finally came up to a band that they had
followed several days, and having cor
nered some of them drove them into a
valley, only to find that they had again
escaped. The soldiers, tired and worn,
refused to go further, and, dismounting,
led their horses to some stumps and roots
that lay scattered about. One of the
offlicers took off his hat and hungit upon
a root, when, to his astonishment, it
gave way and turned into a man, and in
a moment all the seeming roots started
up and dashed away. They were the na
tives that had placed themselves in these
strang e positions hoping that the soldiers
wouli pass by, which they certainly
would have done had they not been
overfatigued. Giraffes frequently find
protection by standing in groups, hunt
ers taking their long necks for trees.
So the tawny skin of the lion helps to
conceal it, and the stripes of the tiger
and zebra are supposed to be protect
"Under the sea we find some wonder
ful mimics. Take the sea-cucumbers;
their mouths imitate seaweeds of all
sorts and shapes, some actually looking
like toadstools. If you take the com
mon pentacta and place it in an aquari
um the creature will at once bury itself
Sout of sight, and soon a beautiful plant
will begin to grow, first one tip appear
ingandthen another, untila shrub is
seen waving among the other weeds,
seemingly a part of them. At the
slightest warning it is gone, only to re
appear again, the humble mimic in this
way feedmg in security. Many of the
fishes are protected by their resemblance
to rocks, as the toad fish;the angler and
its kind are covered ·with barbels of
flesh that mimic seaweed. The spider
crabs mimic moss-covered rocks, and
often bedeck themselves with moss to
increase their security, and so among
all creatures we find this state of things.
"But to go back to the geckos," saiid
the naturalist, leading the wayto a door
leading out to an open porch on the
sunny side of the house, where a num
ber of lizards were corralled on a shell.
"I find you have some tall-throwers in
California. These lizards I caught in
the southern part of the State, and one
1 frightened so badly that it dropped its
tail and ran, thinking to thus escape;
but I was too quick, and now I am
keeping it to see howlong it will taketo
Sreproduce a new member. I should
judge two or three months might do it,
but the winter will probably retard it.
Here you see," taking up another lizard,
"is one whose tail bas just grown ont.
You can tell it by the fresh and rather
blue appearance it has; and then, too,
it is smaller than the others. At
least three species I have found will part
with their tails before capture, and I
find that the severed tail will jump
about and imitate a worm two or three
minutes.-San Francisco Call."
THE DARK RIVER.
A Beautiful Little Allegory, Suited to All,
* Times and Conditions.
, Once upon a time a little boy came,:
during his play, to the bank of a river.
The waters of the river were very dark:
and wild, and there was so black a cloud
over the river that the little boy could
not see the further shore. An icy wind;
came up from the cloud and chilled the
little boy, and he trembled with cold and
fear as the wind smote his cheeks and
ran its slender, icicle fingers through
his yellow curls. An old man sat on
the bank of the river, he was very, very
old, his head and shoulders were cover
ed with a black mantle, and his head
was white as snow.
"Will you come with me, little boy?"
asked the old man.
"Where?" inquired the little boy.
"To yonder shore," replied the old
"Oh, no; not to that dark shore," said
the little boy. "I would be afraid to
"But think of the sunlight always
there," said the old man, "tihe birds and
flowers; and remember there is no pain
nor anything of .that kind to vex you."
The little boy looked and saw the dark
cloud hanging over the waters, and he
felt the cold wind come up from the riv
er; moreover, the sight of the strange
man terrified him. So, hearing his moth
er calling him, the little boy ran back to
his home, leaving the old man by the
Many years after that time the little
boy came again to the river, but he was
not a little boy now-he was a bigstrong
"The river is the same," said he; "the
wind is the same/ cold, cutting wind of
ice, and the same black cloud obscures
yonder shore. I wonder where the
strange old man can be?"
"I am he," said a solemn voice.
The man turned and looked on him
who spoke, and he saw a warrior clad
in black armor and wielding an iron
"No, you are not he," cried the man.
"You are a warrior come to do me
"I am, indeed, a warrior," said the
other. "Come with me across the.
"No," replied the man, "I will not
go with you. Hark, I hear the voices
of my wife and children calling to me
I return to them!"
The warrior strove to hold him fast
and bear him across the river to the
yonder shore, but the man prevailed
against him and returned to his wife
and little ones and the warrior was left
upon the river bank.
Then many years went by and the
strong man became old and feeble. He
found no pleasure in the world, forhe
was weary of living. His wife and
children were dead, and the old man was
alone. So one day he came to the bank
of the river for the third time and he
saw that the waters had become quiet
and that the wind which came up
from the river was warm and
gentle and smelled of flowers;
there was no dark clouds overhanging
the yonder shore, but in its place
was a golden mist throughwhich the old
man could see people walking on the
yonder shore and stretching out their
hands to him, and he could hear them
calling him by name. Then he knew
they were the voices of his dear ones.
"I am weary and lonesome," cried
the old man. "All have gone before
me-father, mother, wife, children-all
whom 1 have loved. I see 'them and
hear them on yonder shore, but who
will bear me to them"'
Then a spirit came in answqr to this
cry. But the spirit was not a strange
old man, nor yet in armored warrior;
but as he came to the river's bank that
day he was a gentle anrigel,' cIat in..
white; his face was very beautiful, and
there was divine tenderness in his eyes.
"Rest thy head upon my bosom,"
said the angel, "and I will bear thee
* across the river to those who call thee."
So, with the sweet ,cace of a little
child sinking to his slumbers, the old
man dropped in the arms of the angel
and was borne across the river to those
who stood upon the yonder shore and
Two Peculiar Cases Which Came Under
the Observation of a Syracuse Clergy
"A while ago a couple came to be
married, accompanied by the bride's
parents and one or two other relatives,"
said a local clergyman, "and I at first
refused to perform the ceremony be
cause of the extreme youthfulness of
t the bride. She was a pretty little girl,
with light flaxen hair and blue innocent
eyes, and did not appear to be more
than twelve or thirteen years of age.
Her parents, however, insisted that she
was sixteen, and were very anxious that
SI should marry her to the groom, a fine
Slooking young German of twenty-one.
SThe girl was more than willing, and I
ffinally consented. The mother re
r marked as the knot was tied: 'There!
I'gn glad it's done. She mightn't 'a
had another chance in many a year.'
SI hope the poor little thing is happy.
"A flnb, healthy-looking young farm
Sor cne in one night with a large fe
Smale of uncertain age and apparently
decided strength of mind, and desired
the usual service. Witnesses were sum
moned and the ceremony was about to
begin when the door-bell rang twice in
quick succession, and a moment after a
portly, well-dressed lady rushed bredth
less ito the room and shouted with her
last breath before sinking exhausted
into a chair: 'Don't you. marry him,
you can have it' The explanation.was
I that the woman about to get mariied
was the other's cook, and hiad left her
mistress in a fit of pique because she
would not raise her wages."--Byra 'ue
THE "ECONOMY" RECORD.
What the Democratic Party Has Done in
This Line forTen Years Past-Its Present
The State Administration of Gov
ernor Tilden in 1875 first turned the
tide of public sentiment in favor of
"In 1873 an expiring Congress on its
last day, with a Senate having only
seventeen Democrats out of seventy
four members and a House containing
one hundred and five Democrats out of
two hundred and forty-three members,
had passed the Salary-Grab bill, which
boldly took nine hundred and seventy
two thousand dollars out of the Treas
ury and divided it among the Senators
and Representatives for two years' in
crease of back pay', or from March 4,
1871, up-to the date of the passage of
the bill. While several Democrats had
been weak enough to vote for the iniq
uitous bill, the responsibility was clear
ly with the Republican majority.
In 1874 Governor Tilden was elected
on a platform demanding economy
and honesty in public expenditures,
and he at once commenced. thQ work
of cutting down expenses and cutting
In 1876 the Democratic National
platform declared: "Reform is neces
sary in the scale of public expenses,"
showing that in ten years of Republic
an rule taxation had risen from sixty
million dollars to four hundred and
fifty million dollars, or from five dol
lars per head to more than eighteen
dollars per head, and said: "We de
mand a rigorous frugality in every de
partment and from every officer of the
Government." Mr. Tilden was elected
by the people on this platform, al
though cheated out of the office by
In 1880 the Democratic National Con
vention based the claim of its candi
dates to the support of the people main
ly on the ground of "the honesty and
thrift of a Democratic Congress,"
which had reduced the public expendi
ture $40,000,000 a year.
Samuel J. Randall was Speaker of
the Forty-fourth Congress for a part of
the term and of the Forty-fifth and
Forty-sixth Congresses up to March 8,
In 1880 Hancock was only defeated
by the unscrupulous use of money by
the Republicans and by scarcely con
cealed corruption of the ballot-box in
Indiana, New York and Ohio. The
"golden stream from Stephenson's
bank" and the "crisp new two-dollar
bills" will not soon be forgotten.
As Chairman of the Appropriations
Committee of the Forty-eighth Con
gress, Mr.. Randall kept up the reputa
tion of the Democracy as the advocate
of honest expenditures and economical
appropriations and paved the way for
the election of a Democratic President
Speaker Carlisle has now before him
a grave and heavy responsibility. On
economy in appropriations and honesty
in expenditures the Democratic party
has been restored to power and to the
confidence of the people. While the
appropriation bills were under Mr.
Randall's supervision there was no
danger of retrogression. But Speaker
Carlisle, through the scattering of
these bills, has now to find eight Ran
dalls for Chairmen of Committees in
stead of one-eight Representatives in
stead of one who will exercise over the
appropriations the same watchfulness,
economy.and firmness displayed by the
Chairman of the Appropriations Com
mittee of the last Congress.
No doubt Mr. Carlisle will seek to
put the committees which will now
have to report important and heavy
appropriation bills in addition to their
other duties into honest and capable
hands. No doubt, the chairman of all
the committees among which the ap
propriations are to be scattered, will
seek to do good and honest work. The
question is, will they be able to do
such work effectively without posses
sing that knowledge of the whole mass
of 'appropriations asked and .of the
amount to be appropriated which a
single committee could command?
If the policy of crippling the Appro
Spriations Committee's power, which has
been wisely and beneficially used,
should destroy the Democratic record
for strict economy, it will be disastrous
to its authors,-N Y. World.
The Duty of VIgorously Upholding Preal
denit Cleveland'e Nominations-Devotion
to Party Principle with the Popular En
Next in importance to the approach
ing discussion of the silver question
will be the debates which we are told
the Republican Senators will direct
against President Cleveland's nomina
The fact that the White iiuse is now
Sinhabited by a Demlocrat has made no
change in the feelings of those gentle
t men as to their responsibilities under
the Constitution. They must still ad
vise the President upon certain ques
f tions just as though he were a pure
blooded Republican. and give their con
t sent to his proceedings as they think fit.
But what is expected to make a pecu
liar stir among the Republicans while
debating the new candidates for office,
B and to produce an energetic and sol
t emn exhibition of eloquence, will be
their conclusion that they are the
special keepers of the Civil-Service law
and the appointed promoters of its
spirit and extension. It was invented
and sustained by their party, and the3
must look after its interests; and the
way to do this will be to keep the Re.
publicans in and prevent the represen*
tatives of the Democrats from taking
SIt will devolve upon the Democratic
SSenators, in the event of such an at
tempt, to resist it with the greatesl
Svigor and indignation. Besides sus~
tamingi the action of the President b~
following this course, they will be bat
tling for one of the most fundamenta
principles of Democracy. This is tha
Sthe people have the right, through thei'
proper representatives, to choose thei:
Sown agents of Government, and tha
Sthe expressed wishes of a popular ma
Sjority must be fully and faithfully o~b
c served. It was the intention of th
SIDemocratic majority in 1384 to take th
control of the Government from the T
Republicans into their own hands; and th
this desire must be respected now and
furthered by every justifiable exertion
possible on the part of the Democratic
epresentatives. The fact that Mr.
Cleveland regards himself as in some
way the chosen Magistrate of the whole
people, and in consequence as not hold
ing precisely the same relations to the
Democracy as Democrats elected by
nrrower constituencies, should not
lessen a whit the intensity of that
party's Senators in their devotion to its
principles, or weaken their determina
tion to stand immovably for their
party's rights against the assaults of
its enemies. They must fight for the
Democracy and against the humbug
pretensions of the Republicans at every
opportunity that is afforded.
In such a contest they will have the
people at their back.-N. Y. Sun.
Why the Friendsof the "Plumed Knight'
Are Fiery Mad at the ",Young Polo in;
Player" from New York. to
With signal fatuity the followers of th
James G. Blaine expose their sores by
making an outcry against Perry Bel- Of
mont's receiving the chairmanship of ,t
the Committee on Foreign Affairs.
They will never forgive him for having ti
made a spectacle of Mr. Blaine when '
he appeared as a witness before the e,
Committee on Foreign Affairs in 1882. le
It is easy for Mr. Reed, of Maine, to F
say that Belmont achieved prominence
only "when a great man like Blaine
condescended 'to wipe his boots upon
him,'" but the fact remains that Bel
mont came out of the encounter with in
honor, while Blaine's reputation re- g8
ceived no tarnish only because it was
already so darkly spotted. Through- tl
out his examination in that investiga
tion Mr. Blaine played the part of a li
bully and braggart, and continually a
sought to evade incriminating himself
by insulting his examiners. Instead of
.answering pertinent questions he de
livered tirades against the impertin
ence and boyhood of Mr. Belmont.
But the young member of Congress
stuck to his points with a dog
ged persistence that provoked r.
Blaine to a pitiable rage. One thing
Mr. Belmont could not ascertain, and
that was what became of some of the
records of the State Department rdlat
ing to the Chili-Peru affair, which had
disappeared. They have never turned
up, and until they do Mr. Blaine must
rest under the suspicion of having spir
ited them away with the same purpose
as induced him to appropriate the Mul
ligan letters. That investigation, in
which Mr. Blaine was held upon the
gridiron of cross-examination by the
"young polo 'player," disclosed the
fact that as Secretary of State he had
sought to take advantage of the war
between Chili and Peru to further the
settlement of a baseless private claim.
To this end he dismissed a faithful min
ister and appointed one after his own
heart who took with him two sets of
instructions. For more than six months
"the most pressing service" of Amer
ican diplomacy in South America was
prostituted to the benefit of a pri
vate claim; and the ultimatum of
the United States represented to be
that by no treaty of peace should there
be a cession of territory to Chili by
Peru, in disregard of the rights of Mr.
Landreau, an alleged American citizen.
Throughout the investigation Mr.
Belmont showed a familiarity with the
subject and a grasp of the principles in
foreign relations remarkable in. so
young a man. He has had two years'
experience since on the committee of
which he has been appointed Chair
man, and in all his acts has proved him
self a far more active and intelligent
man than its ex-Chairman-ex-Gov
ernor Curtin. This, to be sure, is not
very high praise, for superiority over
the war Governor of Pennsylvania does
not infer high qualifications for such a
post. But in certain quarters Belmont
will never be forgiven for baiting the
bull of Maine until he flourished his
tail in the air and bellowed like a calf.
----The Republican journals which
are so indignant at the refusal of tile
Supreme Court of Ohio to go behind
the returns should)moderate their rage.
The year 1876 furnished an eminent
precedent for such action.--N. Y.
--Ciyil Service Erandner-If a
profit of two millions of dollars can be
realized, from thirty years in Congress
at a salary of $5,000, how much can be
made as acting Vice-President in three
years at a salary of $8,000? Applicant
-I am sTorry, sir, but I have never
studied political economy.-N. Y. Sun.
- "Those who expect me to an
tagonize the National Administration
will be disappointed. That Adminis
tration needs no defense at my hands.
SIt is administering the Government
wisely, safely, successfully and to the
Ssatisfaction of the people. Of Presi
dent Cleveland's honesty, courage and
true Democracy there can be no ques
tion. I had the honor of beino asso
ciated with him in the State dovern
ment for two years, and our relations
were and have ever since been of the
most pleasant and cordial character. I
respect his sincerity of purpose, his
, sterling integrity and party fealty."
SGovernor Htill, at the late Newo York
S----Governor Hill's view of Civil
SService reform is that of a practical
- man, not of the closet theorist. He
- declares the selection of public servants
on the ground of merit to be the safe
guard of popular rights; but he also
I points out that this does not conflict
i- with the principal, indispensable in a
t popular Government that heads eol de
Spartments and others charged with the
-execution of administrative policies
- should be men in accord ith the Chief
SExecutive or administrative oflicerin
t trusted for the time being with the ex
r ecution of thie popular will expressed
r through the ballot box. Tlhe Civil
t Service statute, as he views it, applies
- solely to ofieial placescalling "mainly
Sfor elerical abiity" or other expert
. qualificstions which competitive exam
ie inations may determine.--T, Y, 8uns
THE OVERBALANCED BRAIN.
three Signifieant Eras in the Life of Its
The Peasant ind the Serpent. - g
One day upon his Return from Market a hi
Peasant found a Dangerous Serpent play- B
ing with his children. Without stopping
to make Inquilies he seized a club and dealt Si
the Reptile a Mortal blow. is
"Wasn't your Action an Arbitrary Abuse
of Power?" queried the Toad. "I don't
think you can Prove that the Serpent had
struck one of your Children."
"As to that," replied the Peasant, "the b
time to kill Poisdnous Reptiles is before A
you are Bitten." o
Moral: A Wolf doesn't make his Appear- d
ance among-Lambs with the Intention of
leading them to Sunday-school.-Detroit
The Enfant Terrible.
"Were you born before Adam?" asked a
little girl of old D'Argent, who was waiting a
in the parlor while his young fiancee was I
getting ready for the opera. a
"Why, no, my dear, whatmakes you ask e
that?" responded D'Argent, benignatltly.
" Well, I heard sist& Fanny telling Char- t
lie Manners that she hated to have to 3
marry for money alone, and Charlie said:
'Yes; it's hard to be tied to a fossil older
than creation.' "-The Judge.
New England Twigs.
A Malden school-mistress thinks that
some of herpupils' compositions are fun
nier than anything of Mark Twain's. From
an essay on "Fashion" written by a boy of
twelve, she cites the following:
"Sensible people wear sensible fashions,
and insensible people. insensible fashions."
Another hopeful of hers, writing on the
subject "A Rainy Afternoon", evolved from
an inner consciousness deeper than
that of Josh Billings, the following sent
"It rained hard, and I could not go ow
doors, and so I went outintheshedandsod
In a little straw frame on the mantle is a
sentence from the pen of her youngest and
brightest, given in answer to the request:
"Write, in twenty words, a definition of
'Man'." It reads thus:
"Man is an animal that stands up; he
is not very big, and he has to work for a
Thq Religious School oa Att.
"Yes," said .Mrs. Bennington, "my son,
George, is getting to be quite an artist."
"Does he affect any particular school ol
art?" asked the visitor.
"He paints religious pictures mostly, I
think. Isn't it a Malonna that George is
Spainting mw, Mr. B.?" asked the old lady,
turning to her husband.
"Yes," said the old man, "it's a Madonna
- -a prima donna."--Lfe.
A Truly Eodest Doetor.
An unfortunate woman was run over by
a street car. A crowd gathered around the
victim. After some delay a celebrated doc
tor who enjoys a National reputation ap
Speared on the scene. It was too late. The
Spoor woman was dead, even beforethe doe.
S"0, doctor, if you had only come a little
e sooner," said a voice in the crowd.
"Even if I had come sooner, what more
could I have done for her?" replied the doo
tor, modestly gazing at the placid features
of the corpse.-Chicago Telegram.
A Dumb Waiter.
A lady in the South End last week,who
Shappened to be in the kitchen about sup-.
per-time handed a dish to the newdomestic
-dth the r'emark: "That goes to the dumb
Swaiter." The girl was gone some time,but
t finally returned panting for breath and
a with the dish still in her hand.
"Sure," she said, "I have been all over
the house, mum, from celela to attic, and
the dickens of a dumb wabiter could I flnd,
or one that could talk either. Bodad I
think he's gone out."-Boston Budget.
4 Proipt Attentton.
"Why didn't you come when I rang?"
a said aTexaslady to herdomestic.
y "Because I didnit heah de bell."
j "Hereafter when you don't hear the bell
Syou must come and teln me so."
PITH AND POINT.
-It is a eurious fact that rich relatives: "
are apt to be distant ones.-Burlington
(Vt.) Free Press.
-When you see a woman meekly
obey her husband you can be sure of one
or two things-she is either afraid of
him or is working him for a new bonnet.
-The way to prevent a young wife
from threatening to "go back to
mamma" is to invite mamma to come
to you.; This is not a homeopathic
remedy.--Detroit Free Press.
-"A genuine patriot," said an elec
tion 'orator recently, "must at all time',
be ready to die for his country, even
though it should cost him his life!"
(Thundering applause.]-Chicago Trib
-Aneinployer who had been annoyed
by the tardy habits of one of his work
men greeted him one morning with the
saluation: "Good evening, sir; where
have you been at work to-dayP"-- . Y.
-"I like smart women well enough,"
said Fenderson, "but I wouldn't care to
marry a woman who knew more than I
did." "And so," suggested Fogs, "you,
have been forced to remain single -
-Bagley-"I can not buy this cook:
book. It is not practical enough."
Agent-"Not practical?" "No, sir. I
observe that it gives no less than sixteen
different ways. to cook beefsteak." "A
very good feature." "I don't agree
with you. I would much prefer one
a to get a beefsteak."--Philadelphia
-New Yorker (to Boston young wom
an)-"Shall we takea bobtail car, Miss
Penelope?" Miss Penelope-"What is
a 'bobtail' car, Mr. Smith?" NewYork
er-"One drawn with a single horse and
without a conductor. Don t you have
them in Boston?" Miss Penelope--"O,
yes; but we call them Darwinian cars."
-N. Y. Times.
-"It is a curious custom theJapanese
have, my dear," remarked a husband,
"of taking their shoes off when entering
a house.' "The custom is curious," re
plied the lady, "in the fact that it is
practiced at all hours instead of at night
only," and her husband said, "Yes?"
witha risinginflection, which was about
all that he could say.-Tezas Biftings.
CHRISTMAS IN NORWAY.
How the, Descendants of the Norsemen
Celebrate the Great Christian Holiday.
On the morning bf the festal day the
roads are thronged with sledges convey.
ing visitors to their destinations, the
brass bells which decorate the hardy lit.
tie Norwegian Irses" making a merry
tinkling in the frosty air. The.very air
itself- seems to palpitate' with the sweet
chimes of the bell ,melodies; and is not
a sleigh ride one of those delights that
defy rivalry? The day begind with
divine service. The churches are very
plain, and the worship simple;' and
whenever the service is over relatives
-and friends assemble at different rIouses
according to invitation, where a pre
liminary repast, consisting of a variety
of viands, liquors and sweets, ispartaken
of before dinner, which (woeo to the
dyspqptic!) follows immediately after.
The first courtesy, however, shown to a
male guest on entering a Norwegian
house, no matter at what hour of the
day, is a pipe of tobacco. The din
ner is a lengthy affair; fish, poultry,
meat, entrees, cakes and preserves go
round and round again and again. Be
tween the courses intervals are allowed
for the singing of national songs, the
giving of standard toasts, and the drink
ing of healths. To the Norwegian the
words (lamre Norge ("Old Norway")
have a powerful spell- m them, and on .
festive occasions like the present they
can not be resisted. In an instant
Gamle Norge is repeated by every voice;
the glasses are filled and drained, and
then bursts forth in a simultaneous
chorus the national song of Norway,
"For Norge." There is no nation in
the.world that can surpass Norway in
this enthusiastic love of country. When
the dinner is over the chief guest rises,
saying, Tack for marden (thanks for the
meal or entertainment), which is re
sponded to by all present, who bow to
the host and hostess at each end of the
table. At seven o'clock tea is handed
round, then a little later in the evening
comes a knock at the door, and
some four or five boys enter
dressed in white mantles; the talleot of
these holds a large colored lantern
shaped like a star, while another bears
a small illuminated glass boix contain
ing two little wax Dutch dolls, one of
which represents the Virgin Mary sit.
- ting in a chair and the other the infant
, Jesus lying in a cradle. Abit of handle
Is moved by a wire from side to side of
a the lantern, making it appear as if the:
doll mother was rocking the cradle at
her feet, and the lantern Is meant to
represent the star in the East which
Sguided the Magi to the lowly manger.
These mysteries are all explained durng
Sthe exhibition in the words of a carol,
chanted by the boys. After these lads
are dismissed with some slight refresh
Sment or bonbons and a little money,
another band of masked performers,
rather older than'thc last, make their
i appearance. They are dressed in miIi
Stary fashion, with cocked hats on the
Shead, tattered-looking uniforms, pur
a posely decked with tinsel, and wooden
swords suspended at their sides.
(They are. very like our own
November Guys only much
more interesting.) These maskers per,
forph all kinds of fantastic tricks for the
amusement of the spectators, conspicn-
one among them being a pantomimic
Smilitary reyiew. No one in Norway
at ever refusesto admit these performers
d of their annul mummeries, or sends
them away empty-handed. Numerous
er diversions and gaes now follow among
•d the household supper is announced and
Spartatken of; the gentlemen settle down
for a general smoking, and the ladies
disappear op-stairs, whore an eager talk
ing and clatter of -tongues goes on as
they put on their wrap Then come
" the sledges to the door .hearty shakings
of the hand, withloudy expressed good
wishes, are exchsaOged all round, and
el thehappy guests eborne swiftlyover
the snow, glittering in the moonlight, to
their reieveI. h9ed,-(iama '