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Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, December 03, 1880, Image 1

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SACRAMENTO DAILY RECORD-UNION.
r-iii.T T.VIOJf SERIES -*/OJJ, uv-io. mm.
i. ,111 KiJtOl!!) SERIES -VOL. XXH-JNO. 4'ilil.
HIE DAILY RECORD-TOOK.
tnt___- tt the Post Office at Sacramento as second class natter
PUBLISHED EY THE
Sacramento Publishing Company.
y.VTK. H. MILLS, General Manager,
PablicatSon Office, Third sl., bet. -J and 11.
THE DAILY UK OKD-I.MOV , ;,- .
It (rabliihed ere*? day of the week. Sunday* excepted.
Tot one jess ..........?10 00
For six months. 6 00
ror three months , 3 00
Ten ooples one year, to one address. .* 80 00
Subscribers served by Curlers at TvnXTT-Fi**.
Cikts per week. In all Interior cities and towns the
J*P«r can be had of the principal Periodical Dealers,
X ewsmen and ARtnla. . *£S_|wri^l9*tg
Advertising Kates ln Dally Beeord-l nlon.
One Square, 1 time ....(100
Bne Square, 3 times. ( 1 75
ac Square. 3 times 3 SO
Each additional time... SO
I Week. 3 Weeks. 1 Month
Half Square. Ist page X 60 *3 50 V 00
Salt Square, Id page 3 50 8 00 8 09
Half Square. 3d page 3 00 4 60 8 00
Half Square, 4th page 100 3 00 4 08
One Square, Ist page. 3 50 5 00 TOO
One Square, 3d page 6 09 TOO 1000
One Square, 3d page 400 6 00 8 00
One Square, 4th page 3 00 4 OC 6 00
Star Notices, to follow reading matter, twenty -Are
Wets a line for each Insertion.
AdTertlsemonte of Situations Wanied, Houses to Let,
■sciety Meetings, etc., of nvs i.injcs ok use, will be
*asertedin the Daily Biooed-Uxio'i aa follows :
Onetime • 25 oents
Jtree times 50 cents
One week 75 cents
Sevan words to constitute a Una.
THE WEEK I. IfllOll
(Published In semi-weekly partsl
Is Issued en Wednesday and Saturday of each week,
comprising Sight Pages In each irate. orSlxtoen Pages
each week, and Is tne cheapest and most desirable
Home, News and literary Journal published on the
Pacific 1 •
•Terms, On* Tear ....f CO
Weekly Union Advertising Bates*
Half Square, 1 time .....1100
fact*, additional Mm* 60
One Square. 1 tin*. 100
iaoh additional tims 1 00
WANTED, LOST AM) FOUND.
Advertisements of fire lines ln this department us
saerted for 25 cents for one time ; three times for 60
ssm-I. or 75 grots per week.
"•-ANTEO— A GIRL.— APPLY AT NO. 1806
'» street. d 2 tf
>X SATURDAY HORNING, DARK
T, with white strips on forehead,
tail, weighs about 1,100 pounds.
T ouse, lower Stoekton road.
HERMAN OERHARDT. ,
rr.f>.-l WILL PAY ONE-
Household Furniture, (Stoves,
y othor cash huyer. S. FOSKA,
WMD Seventh and Eighth, Sac-
dl-lplm
X»D COOK, WASHER AND
„ Apply from 10 to *2 o'clock, at No.
*. n29tf
HON WASTED— WILL MR. J. P.
.. please write tohis wifeat 1517 -**J street,
.t-o? Anyone knowing of his whereabouts
.-esse address as above. n27-lw *
EMPLOYMENT OFFICE.
WANTED— ALL KINDS HELP, MALE AND
TV Female. Particular attention paid to Furnish-
ing Hotels, Private Families and Farmers with Help,
Free of Charge to employers. HOUSTON & CO..
one door south of Fourth and X streets, Sacra-
mento dtv. nl3-lptf
"■ x-0 LET 08- FOB SALEr"
Advertisements of fire lines in this department are
Inserted for 25 cents for one time ; three times for 50
gents or 75 oenta per week.
FOR SALE.— HANDSOME AND.-*******^.
Commodious RESIDENCE (new) of P. &'i\\\\
S. LAWSON, together with its Splendid, __U._,
Furniture. Situated on O street, between Fifteenth
and Sixteenth, No. 1511. Will be sol iat cost price.
Inquire on premises ; or at shop, No. 11.) X street.
d2-tl
I^OR SALE-CHEAP, -Ino SECOND. /CJ-* E_
' hand PORK BARRELS, at C.j*^- 3 * a )
SOIIAEFER'3, No. 80 Front street, be-N^3&ll
twecn X and L, Sacramento. dl-lm
FOR SALE— A SALOON DOING A GOOD,
paving business and well located. For further
particulars, apply to A. BREWER, Front street.
between M and N. nKO-lw
NATHAN'S BUILDING, CORNER SEVENTH
and I Etreets— Pleasant furnished rooms, with
or without board. ■.—.:• yy.- n26-tf
FOR SALE— A BLACKSMITH'S -—-r-wta-v
SHOP of three tires, in a flour-
Ishing country town. Inquire at this , ''S'?"r =*
office. n2O-2iy '■n^iSC'STifil
FOR SALE— Ali iRC.AIN, TWO VALUABi E
* PATENTS. Two Thousand Doliirs can be
realized from them each year on this coast alone.
Little money required. Address "PATENTEE,"
Record-Union Office, Sacramento. nl"-lm
FOR SALE-A FIRST-CLASS UK- (_ZZ-^-,
" staurant ; old established anil well /rjS^>3
known pay in;; business, with I'iilL'inic^^THHßa
attached Furnishe liv first -{lass style. *•»"
Can be bought at bargain. Address MRS. M. DA-
VIDSON, Woodland, Cal. nl2-4w''
AMERICAN LAUNDRY.
V,* fgd'-Jj'- '
IN CONSEQUENCE OF PUTTING IN NEW
machinery, 1 will sell on the premises cheap
for cash :
One Portable Boiler and Engine, one-horse power;
three Water-Backs or Heaters, all in good condition.
dl-lplm* [B.C.] S. B. COOLEY, Proprietor.
FOR RENT.
A RANCH ON THE COSUMNES RIVER. egA
_-\ IS miles from Sacramento, containing
400 acres ; will be let as a whole or divided to-***'*
suit : good house and barns. Apply to A. J. VER-
MILYA, 410 J street. _ nSO-tf
RANCH FOR SALE,
AT A BARGAIN.
TBS WELL-KNOWN ADIB B 0 R Yam
JL RANCH, on line of S. V. EL EL, contain- VW
1ng 350 acres. A failure of crop has never «^—
been known upon the place. T : .e soil is deep, and
ot sandy loom character ; produces from *2."> to 35
bashels cf wheat, and 30 to 45 bushels of barley to
tho acre. Term-* inuilc Israel ury. Apply to
smnttt & A;.SIP,
Real Fstate and Insurance Agents, No. 1015 Fourth
.. St., between J and X, Sacramento. nll-lmlp
WATOHES, CLOCKS, JEWELBY
J. B. hum:.
(Late with Wachhorst, and successor to Floberg,)
WATCHMAKER AND JEWELER, _g
No. 60 J street, between Second and %?rfa.
Third. Dealerin Watches, Clocks, Silver- -£-l Aj
ware, Jewelry, etc. Repairing in all ita&AUIS
tranches a specialty, under MR FLOBERO.
"oS-lplm* -*
WILLIAM B. .1111.1 Kit __
(Late with Floberg),
NO. 190 i STREET, NEAR SEVENTH, ._©
X]^| Watchmaker aud Jeweler. Importer tjfet
and Dealer in Watches, Suverware, Jewelry, (i-J %,
etc Repairing a specialty, under Rol«rtß__diS
Marsh. All country orders promptly attended to.
1«23-lptf]
SHIRTS.
SACRAMENTO SHIRT FACTORT, No. 809 X
j^ - street— Fine white imported cheviot and per-
cale shirts, underwear, etc., to order at store prices.
Fits guaranteed. nl2-lplm ■
.AG. GRIFFITH^
'g'jH ■ rEN KIN
lm granite WORKS
fllll-M*.: -*L PEXKYN t'AJL.
-BSSUg I rpilE BEST VARIETY AND
vSsbSq I Largest Quarries on the
Pacific Coast. Polished Granite Monuments, Tomb-
Hones and Tablets made to order.
ran lie Itulldlns Stone
Cot. Dressed and Polished to order. gll-lpflro
L. A. BKRT-HiISG'S FATEST.
$2.00, 52,5 AND $3 ° o,
BUYS TKE FINEST SPECTACLES IN EXISTEN3F.
Adjust Spectacle** to unit all the vari-
ous conditions or the sight our specialty.
tar The only opticians on this coast who make
*>pectmcle len«es to order. "• A large assortment of the
Hitert ARTIFICIAL HUMAN EYES constantly on
hand. * . .-y -■-■*- ■ : - ;.-.-.
BERTELING & \ WATRY,
Scientific Opticians,
N0.'427 Kearny street, between Pine and California,
: near California, San Francisco.
Guides for selecting spectacles free.' Coun-
try orders promptly attended to.
BEWARE OF FRAUDS who tell
you they make spectacle lenses, as we are the only
- opticians on this coast who do. Ofi-lptf ,
HALE & CO., CRITERION STORE. "
ANOTHER PAG-E
.. . . „.
■ ■-..;•* .* .-..*. * .:
-- - •" , .- ' 7
—IN. THE— . * :
* ■ * ' --r.i yy.. . -■'- ,'-" '■ ■ -"-
; . . *.',. *
--.•--•..-.■■:
■■*■'.* *,*.'■ .-V4w»v>' '.*- '**•,*';-'-■ -''*.:'; ''■ * ■'■ ■■.'■"■■■ y^ iZ--ti:~VyZ.-f-\f r . \Zf'-' : Z .■■ y Z'-Z-ZZZf :-- ■*'■■ ';'
:
OF
*
j^g^DE¥ GOODS!
HALES Farewell Letter!
0
•OCXXJES RISSULT!
JKgp^Monster Sale
OF
-D-ESTS" G-OODS!
Preparatory to Removal !!
OUR RESOLVE.
The Senior Partner of our House, "VIE. O. A. HALE, has gone East to Ece to
your interests. The means at his command are almost illimitable, or at any rate com-
mensurate with your requirements. The whole purpose of his journey is to fully
satisfy all skeptics with regard to the plenitude of our resources, and their adaptation
to the wants of the people. The IMPERATIVE INSTRUCTIONS in his "FARE-
WELL LETTER" are as follows : . Sell the goods ; carry out the same principles
with which we started — do as you have always done since our advent on the coast.
We want THE ENDURING CONFIDENCE of the people, and let all your exertions
tend to that end. Let all other institutions severely alone,* and on your own merits
prove that the CRITERION IS THE HOUSE FOR THE PEOPLE, bearing in mind
that all you promise is, "A SAVOR OF LIFE UNTO LIFE, OR DEATH UNTO
DEATH !" Say nothing that you cannot carry out in its entirety ; don't be as fcolish
as those who advertise to supply goods to a whole State, when, in fact, they cannot
supply even a second-class Restaurant. Have nothing to do with, or lend yourselves to
such a mislead, for as sure as you do the INTELLIGENCE OF THE PEOPLE will
rebel, and yon will find the CRITERION a waste place, or remembered like other
Houses, only as a fraud. I would suggest that our employes be gentlemen ; that their
chief endeavor shall be to make your patrons feel perfectly at home in their visits, and
let them understand that they subserve the interests of the House best by sending their
visitors away pleased. Don't, for goodness sake, allow cramming ; don't force an article
down their throat-LET OUR GOODS TELL THEIR OWN TALE. A sign, bearing
tho inscription : " FREE TO COME AND GO," on the front of your new house would
indicate the full purport of what I mean. Let our House be a GREAT PUBLIC
■ HIGHWAY, where the wayfarer cannot err. . In conclusion, let me advise you to
inaugurate a BIG SALE— understand me, a VERITABLE CLEARING OUT, accord-
ing to my verbal instructions. SHAKE THE VERY CITADEL ; let there be a BIG
DISCOUNT for, with the CASH at my disjoial, and the advantage of personal buy-
ing, cheap as your present stock may be, I hope to fill in at a far lower figure. There-
fore, "SELL 'EM SHORT!"
' "I shall not purchase for the first few days, but ; shall make it my endeavor to
get at the pulse of the market. Will write on arrival.
Your affectionate brother, J
In accordance with the above instructions, we shall throw the
whole of our Stock upon the market, and dispose of it hy a MONSTER
SALE, opening on the 27th NOVEMBER, on the premises known as the
" CRITERION," No. 812 I street, between Eighth and Ninth. See
ns at once. (Signed,)
" Criterion," Sacramento.
* During the sale the "CRITERION" will open at 9 A.«M,
and close at 6 P. M. sharp. gte
SACRAMENTO, FRIDAY MORNING, DECEMBER 8i 1880.
• . .-.--..----•'*.-■.-',''■--- • ■ --..-■■■■::,'■■■ y -y. yr.- .-..- T .■■'-.• -■- ~ . *-.-.' ■-.'.._ \-■v ■• ■ -. ■ ■ -.. ■ *.-■•
MECHANICS'- STORE.
to-day, am
A.s Previously Announced,
UNTIL THEY ARE DISPOSED OF,
--■ ■;■ * ••* f- ?fyZftii:fy '■-.'■' ■'-■;.' 'f :. ffyf. ' f
:WE -■ SHALL '-- OFFEB SOME OF THE
RAREST BARGAINS
' IST ST_a.PX.JE -SLJKTJQ OE l,^i.3SJ*C"5r
warn ___________H_____Ba_B______________________H______B_____n-_____H sbb
0000000 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
I DRY GOODS ! {
. .' o *..-.:.:. *.*--,•■ -.;■.,.. *: ; - * . ■ .*_'>:•: • <> .
00000 000000000000000000000000000 000000000000000000
aaa !■■■■»■ hum .i.i ii.lj m
Ever Presented to the Sacramento Public.
: * -r "■- . . '
Those who have profited by our former announcements
will know the importance of coming early.
■z - * " / _- i .'■ ' '<■
W^mM
WE WOULD STRONGLY' WJ^k
' ff ' ii '■' ■*■-'•• .
.'■--.•,'*-- * ,
ADVISE ALL WHO HAVE SPARE GASH,
And desire to invest it profitably and wisely, not to part
.*•■ with it until they see the
- . '-
.. _.-.-- yyy^fy :-. : ■■■■;'.■ *-• *. > .- _
tt_AJR&A3LI3an&
■-■**. - -■■ , - ; •
■■■*.■■ -
**. ■ -
■* ' ,
« THAT ITE sin i.v LIV BEFORE OI R VISITORS
TO-DA.TT I
Remember, To-day
A.nd Until Disposed Of.
To facilitate the rush and to accommodate the public, an EXTRi.
FORCE ; of . Pacta, j Cashiers, Cash] Boys and 'I Salesmen will be in
attendance. :j There will also be two Extra Wagon Deliveries.
WEINSTOOK & LUBIN
P ROPEIETOR S
"- mm _ny' _^y ___-»_ ' - '■ __■_ \ -
WdHAlttfl*' <$\0
During the month of December, 'to accommodate the: purchasers
of HOLIDAY GOODS, 6& will remain open until BP, tf,
TELEGRAPHIC.
'--. ■:•■■■ ■'■ffr-r^.-y-yyy * - .- - -- -.■■ '.yy- ;-*:'. * "." 7 ,
L VST NIGHTS DISPATCHES TO THE RECORD*
■ - * ~TZiZv^ ia^-Ztffi * :
DOMESTIC XEWS.*
—— ■: ,■ -' . "
-'-—fetf- J '***rk.-&**-*»g— *^-t» - - — -^ - *•'.'-- r -■-*
JUunilicenl J Be quests to J Educational. lv
'■' f. stltutlonn. '
N Boston, December 2d. The following are
the gifts which have thus far been made by
Mrs. Valeria Stone from the estate left by
her husband. "J. Quite a large sum, it is under
stood, :is ; yet ) remaining jtoJ be distributed,
which will be used in accordance with the
advice of gentlemen whom the lady has se
lected as her ccunselo^s in the disbursement
of this I large J trust : To j Bowdoin College,
to finish Memorial Hall, 120,000; to Bow
doin College, to endow the Professorship in
intellectual and moral philosophy, 550.C00;
to the Hollowell class, Yale School, 810,000 ;
to Fayeburg Academy, Maine, 810,000 ; to
Dartmouth .College, to endow a Stone Pro
fessorship in intellectual and moral philoso
phy, $65,000 ; to Andover Theological ' Sem
inary, to endow a Professorship of relations of
Christianity J to : secular : science, •'550,000. on
condition the subscription be raided to $100,
--000 ; Phillips Academy, $100,000, to be used
for the completion of the building ; to Am
herst College, to ! endow a i Stone • Professor
ship of .Theology, on condition of the college
raising $25,000, $50,000 ; to _ Wellesley Col
lege, ' to construct and furnish Stone Hall,
$100.000 ; to the Women's Board of Missions
for Harpoon College. Turkey, $25,000 ; to
the College ; of the Young Men's Christian
Association of Boston, to be used toward the
completion of their new building, $25,000 ;
to Hamilton College, Clinton, N. V., to en
dow a Professorship of Natural History,
$30,000 to the Chicago Theological Sem
inary, for ; the Professorship of Pastoral
Theology and ' Special Studies, • $50,000 ;
American Missionary Association, for the in
stitutions at Nashville, Atlanta, Talladega,
Lotijaloo and New Orleans, $15,000; Ober
liu College, Ohio, for endowments, $50,000 ;
Drury College, : Springfield. Mo., $50,000;
lowa College, $22,000 ; Carlton College,
Northfield, Minn., $10,000. She has also
given $600,000 to her relatives and friends,
and $100,000 to churches aud needy students.
Brockway, the Forger, Released.
New York, December 2d.— Plates, coun
terfeit notes and bonds surrendered by Brock
way were jesterdty turned over |to the
United j States . J District - Attorney Zof
Brooklyn, who said Brockway had made
these surrenders * and had been released
on condition he should plead guilty to
two indictment, against him and refrain
from ever a^'ain counterfeiting. By taking
this course the Government had come into
possession of information of great value, the
precise nature of which, however, he could
not at present disclose.
•ysifff Snow-storms.
. Albany (N. V.), December — Six inches
of Know fell here yesterday, and eight inches
at Rondout. It is still storming.
Cos com i (X. H. ), December 2d.— A heavy
snow is falling and drifting badly.
FOKEIUN NEWS.
Important Heeling In Furtherance or the
1 1.1 111. Cause. 'fff'
London, December 2J. — At a meeting of
the committee in furtherance of the Greek
cause at Willis' rooms yesterday afternoon,
the Earl of Rasebery presiding, resolutions
were passed urging the British Government
to make a strenuous effort to assure the ces
sion of territory recommended by the Con
ference. Letters in sympathy with the
meeting . were received from the Duke of
Westminster, Lord Aberdeen, the Bishops of
E-eter, Manchester and Oxford, and nearly
every member of Parliament, and Professor
Max Muller, Herbert, Gladstone and others.
A HARROWING TAIL.
Not long since a Texas man read in a
paper that if a string were tied lightly
around the root of a mule's tail it would,
in cases of colic, give the animal instant
relief. He tried the remedy on one of his
own mules, and the doctors say that the
portion of the tail thus isolated was soon
swelled up ; bigger than the mule. The
Texas man says the mule turned its head
and saw his monstrous tail and got alarmed
and began to kick. The first kick drove
the mule's tail away out behind, but the
tail immediately swung back and knocked
the mule forward a little — the tail was so
heavy. That made the mule madder'n ever,
and it kicked like fury. That only gave the
tail more momentum, and on its return it
knocked the mule about a rod. The
mulo looked around and didn't see any
body and kicked again. The tail .was
there as regular as a pendulum, and it
came back like a steamboat running a race.
That time it lifted the mule over the barn
yard fence. But the mule lit on its feet and
struck out again — game as ever. The tail
fairly laughed as it caught the mule on
the haunches and drove it down the lane a
mile and a half at every whack. It looked
like destruction to the mulo as mule and
tail disappeared in the distance. But, after
three or four hours, a returning cloud of
dust was seen, and soon the mule emerged
therefrom kicking as briskly a3 ever—
the tail was totally used up and gone. Not
being able to offer any more resistance, of
course the mule kicked himself back to the
starting point. This -is not a campaign
lie.— [New Orleans Times.
SPEED OF TELEGRAPHIC WORK.
. The Electrician refers to the new edition
of McCulloch's "Dictionary of Com
merce " as authority for the statement that
a good operator can send 2,000 words per
hour, but remarks that the conditions are
not given. The same journal cites a state-*
ment s from Jan American contemporary
concerning the recent transmission of a
campaign speech from New York to Cin
cinnati, by the Phillips , system of steno
telegraphy, in five hours and five minutes,
the number of words being 10,000, or over
52 words to the minute, or say, 3, 147 words
an hour." The utterance of the speech con
sumed three hours and forty minutes ; and
although J the work of transmission did
not begin until the speaker had been under
way ' for fifteen minutes, the entire
speech was in the Cincinnati printing-office
in one hour and twenty-five minutes after
its conclusion in New York. The wire was
worked without a "repeater," and the
matter ( transmitted j fully equal to what
would be the average by the Morse system
on three wires, by three senders and three
repeaters. The process is entirely by hand,
the dispatches being received by an ! ink
recorder of great simplicity, J which pays
out a narrow strip of tape, on which the
matter is plainly .-printed in linear char
acters. I Dispatches printed \by j Mr. Phil
lips' method require no ( preparation, the
operator reading from the manuscript. • .;
* *"• * — ; . ._
--. Zola ' on' .' Victor * Huoo. — Emile Zola
has been distinguishing himself by an on
slaught ion Victor Hugo. "What!" he
cries, " Victor r Hugo ' the man of the cen
tury ! J Victor Hugo, the thinker, the phi
losopher, the savant of the age ! and that,
too, at the moment when he has just pub
lished I . ' l.'Ane,' this " incredible twaddle
which is, as it were, a parody of our French
genius ! Why, in \. truth, '_. in ?, the worst
epochs of our ; literature, in 'i the ; quintes
sence of I tiie Hotel I Rambouillct, . in '_ the
peraphrases of . the j didactic*-, school, never
has I a more unshapely ' and t useless work
been produced !'.'< M. Zola. f elsewhere in
his article, characterizes "L'Anc" a3 "the
hight of extravagance in commonplace."
.*'— — — r— » m — -* -- y
: No ItEMiDT- for KiDifEY Diseases '. here
tofore discovered can be held for one moment
in comparison , with Warner's Safe ' Kidney
and Liver Cure.— [C. A. 1 Harvey, D. D.,
Washington, D.*: C] »H. C. Kirk . k ■ Co.,
agents, Sacramento. -.- r : . .
• ' y. '■*„*' '- — * •-* — ' ' ' :•■-.
- Dr. Unoar's Liquor Antidote, carefully prepared
of the best Quill Bark by M. 8. 1 Hammer, druitr-ist
Sacramento. . (The celebrated cure for drunkenness;
* — »--•— ■*..■., y'-r ■■
Hahmsk's Gltcsrolb Tar. '*'- The J* most perfect
cou?h cure extant, f* Hundreds can testJf y to Its goed
effects -'-: ''.' ■-.:--: ::y. -.y--.-r ■■•■-',-■■*...
--.'-* ■ ■'-_-. "■'. ... ' * il- s-'y,. ''-.
Hammer's " Cascara > Saorada Bittsri cures al
complaints arising from an obstructed state of tbe
system. ■•*:-.." ■■-;-.■■■-. •"■*-;-*;:- y. „-..-.■ .-.*■■.
yy', — ♦-» .■* -- ; f ,
Riociats TBI J Liver with Hammer's Cascara
Sagrada Bitters, an i health is the result. •-• .
*■•;"' t ■ * "" '
y Hammer's Gltcbkoli or Tar, for coughs and colds'
Tryitr- ",;-* .if-y-ry-yfyy -yf 6 -; „-,- ■■_ .',
ODDS AND ENDS.
-TV ,«. *--77-*-*" - ■ ■--■- *"* - *
* The next national holiday will occur on
the Ist of April. [New Orleans Picayune.'
International," rather. : .J T. ■'■'.- '■'"-''' '■'.
■: The best and most thoughtful journalists
now | allow r contributors to ff the '.waste
baskets to write on both sides of the sheet.
, The bee can deliver a stinging retort and
yet keep its mouth shut. j This is where it
has the advantage of the campaign orator.'
f. Professor Proctor will return from Aus
tralia via "America, '*':; and we hope that the
stars in this vicinity will :be on their good
behavior. , -'*• - ••
; , ." Never borrow trouble," said a husband
to his wife. "- " Oh, let her. borrow it if she
can," exclaimed the ; next-door neighbor.
" she never returns anything, you know."
The late William B. Spooner, of Boston,
bequeathed 810,000 to the Divinity School
connected with Harvard University, and
§5,000 to the Theological School at Mead
ville, : Pa. '-■■■--■.' ■ ZZZZ :
'•-. ' •_' Kings j I Have Met "J is the | title of
Archibald Forbes' lecture. - Some day Mr.
Forbes will come across three kings and a
pair of sevens. " Then he will learn some
thing about the really great resources of
this country. -Zfff,
"A* young man of Waterbury, Conn.,
while under the influence •of laughing-gas
in a dentist's office, pushed his feet through
a \ window, but never : felt j the | pane.
Please send §2 for this by return mail."
[S. J. Tilden. ■■-■■
The Cincinnati Oa-^Ue contains , a poem
addressed to a lump of coal. J-. It is not
every newspaper man that can keep the
fire going and still have a chunk of anthra
cite to write poetry at ; : but \ the fairies
have always beeu good to Deacon Smith. 1 '
A Galveston school-teacher had • a * great
deal of trouble making a boy understand
his lesson. Finally, however, he succeed-'
ed, and drawing a long breath, remarked
to the boy : "If it wasn't for me you would
be - the biggest donkey on Galveston
Island." :'■ ?ff ZZfifrfiifT.Z-ZizM-Z'.
Toddlekins is a very small man, indeed,
but he said he never minded it at all until
his three boys grew up to be tall, strap
ping young fellows, and "his wife began to
cut down - their old I clothes and cut them
over to fit him ; and then he said he did
get mad. f.f : fZZ-r
To row or not to row ; that is the ques
tion. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to
suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous
fortune, or to take the oars against the sea
of papers and, by rowing!" paralyze them.
Courtney in his great soliloquy. — [Burling
ton Hawkeye.
That was a very pointed and possibly a
very wholesome bit of sarcasm when a gen
tleman turned on a coxcomb, who had been
making himself offensive, and said: "Sir,
you ought to be the happiest man in the
world ; you are in love with yourself, and
you have no rival."
It was a correspondent of the New York
Tribune that telegraphed to his paper in
all its thrilling details the fact that General
Garfield's house at Mentor was about to
receive a coat of drab- colored paint. The
Cornell School of Journalism is certainly
a great success— diplomas. .
"Do you want to kill, the child !" ex
claimed a gentleman as be saw a boy tip
the baby out of its carriage on the walk.
No, not quite,' replied the boy ; "but if
I can get him to bawl loud enough, mother
will take care of him while I go and wade
in the ditch with Johnny Bracer !'.'. y'i~ ff
P. T. Barnum received ' a letter from a
man who said he had made a bet that he
(P. T.) was not a brother of W. H. B.irnum,
to which the showman replied that he
thanked Heaven that there was no nearer
relationship than that of Adam. The other
Mr. Barnum is yet to be heard from.
An English correspondent of Harper
sends the following : "Our minister, the
Rev. Mr. S. , was preaching a kind of fare
well sermon before leaving town for a few
weeks' holiday.' You may imagine our feel
ings when he said, in finishing up, ' I leave
you my blessing, brethren, and may the
Lord be with you until I return !' "
A remarkable divorce suit is now in
progress in one of the Chicago Courts.
Rebecca Kalen, a girl of 17, seeks a di
vorce from Judcl Kalen, her husband, who
is also her uncle, on the ground that she
was forced by her father to marry the old
man. The father even went to tho extent
of performing the marriage ceremony.
Mr. Labouchere announces that a gillie
ball appears to be the , latest fashionable
craze in England, but is at a loss to see
why any particular pleasure should be de
rived from seeing a number of bare-legged,
awkward Presbyterians heavily skipping
about, snapping their fingers and occasion
ally indulging in a sort of cat-call, at other
times in whisky.
Richard Grant White has startled the
town by saying that society in New York
is no longer a " controlling and refining
influence. And a lady of one of the
oldest and best families declares in the
New York Times that " there is no such
thing as society in New York, properly
so-called." Gracious ! what is this world
coming to, anyhow ? .
"What shall we do with the Indians ': "
asks Secretary Schurz. Do with them?
Why, man, make telegraph-poles of them,
grind them up for mince pies, make light
houses of. l them, C.'arley — • anything you
please, in fact. But the Indians have a
way of sitting up all night, and scalping
the army, and such like ; so you needn't
worry. It isn't likely that any will be
captured for some years.— [New York Ex-;
press. ZfZ
During the last session of the Court at
— — , Wisconsin, Lawyer Blank had been
trying for two long hours to impress upon
the minds of the jury the facts of the case.
Hearing the dinner- bell he turned to the
Judge and said : "Had we better adjourn
for dinner or shall I J keep : right on**'
Weary and disgusted, his Honor * replied :
"Oh, you keep right on, keep right on,
and we will go to dinner."— [Harper's Edi
tor's Drawer. ' -ff^yffff
An anecdote is told by Harper's Editor's
Drawer of the late Father J Taylor, of the
Boston Seamen's Bethel. A prayer-meet
ing had been prolonged one evening be
yond the usual hour of closing, and he had
been pretty well warmed up, - Just then a
few restless * spirits : in the : rear of the
audience took occasion to leave. The old
man rose, and swinging his arm in 1 his
peculiar way, shouted out, "That's right,
brethren ; the tide's rising, the driftwood
is beginning to float ! ',' J .',*• yyififff.
§9 There was an* incident of the Dow trial
at Button that most unaccountably escaped
the attention of the local press,' and yet it
is entirely too good to |be lost to the pub
lic. ; ; When :" one jof * the j female witnesset
was ' asked : by a ! prosecuting J lawyer of a
well-known convivial turn of mind if aho
believed in the Bible, she J replied emphat
ically that she | did. y" Do you believe,
then, that wives should be obedient to
their j husbands?" asked the lawyer. % She
snapped J* her eyes and responded : :". Not
when their husbands ~- come J home drunk,
like you J do." You . could ; have * heard a
paper of pins fall for ' ten minutes bfter
ward.— [Galveston Naws. JJ
How. Happiness Is Secured.
§ Happiness is the absence of pain or annoy
ance, and wherever there is pain there is dis
ease. A pain in the lower portion of the body
indicates a disorder' of some kind. llf there in
any odor or color or, deposit in the urine it
means disease and requires attention at once.
We hare heard many of our friends speak of
the remarkable power of Warner's Safe Kid
ney and Liver Cure, and are convinced the
is nothing so certain and valuable for all dis
orders of the urinary system, both male and
female, yH. C. Kirk & ' Co., agents, Sacra-
Hammer's ■ Glycerols Jor •", Tar J has been
before the public for the I post six years, and
its constantly increasing demand is the best
testimonial of its suc.-.-s. "•-.■'■ '
. Ask Your Druggist for Hammer's Gly
cerole of .Tar for coughs and colds, and take
no other. ■-':>*. y:riy. iy-y.i'yfyfyf.:'
y Fob the Coughs and Colds now prevail
ing, Hammer's Glycerols of Tar is a specific.
DAILY XECOKD-e*! » M lEHIES,
*»k MX .jc ...i-MEHBEk »J. .
SAN FRANCISCO ITEMS.
-- - j
[Prom Saa fraueisco exchanges of December 2d.)
-*.-: The steamer City of Tokio will sail on
Saturday for.Yokohama and Hongkong.
Six cases of small-pox were reported to
day, and J all verified. J*; No deaths are re
ported at the hospital.
.Duties paid at the Custom-house yester
day, were §22,997 07, making a total of
$22,997 , 07 for the month.
J. The Police Court Clerk reports the total
amount of fines and forfeitures collected
during November at .**4,422. f ...fff
Our treasure exports J last ; month aggre
gated §933,12*2, of which $445,570 went to
New York and $339,205 to China, fy
. The merchandise exports ■of the . week
were valued ".* at j $883,563, J a j decrease of
$522,9.6 from those of the previous week.
.The real estate total tax : collections up
to noon to day were $382,935, as J against
$344,935 last night, about §8,000 having
been received this morning, ..-..,. y ';' f • .*.
r. The wreck of the barkentine William H.
Gawley, which has been an attraction for
visitors to the ocean beach for some time
past, has almost entirely disappeared.
• The bullion deposits in the Mint in this
city for November amounted •to 129 600
ounces gold and 934,622 ounces silver.
Also, 108, 1 12 ounces crude silver for bars.
The southeaster which raged last night,
did some havoc in the city, in the destruc
tion of shrubbery ' and ornamental trees,
the bursting of * sewers, the flooding of
streets and damage to dwelli.-.**,*-.
By' the steamer. Granada, due on the
14th inst., from Panama, * will ; arrive the
men for the United States ship Peusacola,
72 |in number. On receipt of tlmra the
* vessel will sail immediately for South
America. v
--The United States steamship Alaska ar
rived this morning, direct from Honolulu,
after very long cruise. Her memoranda
state that she had no trades and no west
erly winds until within 200 miles cf this
coast. During the last three days she ex
perienced moderate gales from the north
and from the southwest. The Alaska left
this port in August, 1879. Was on the
coast of Peru and Chile until J- ly 23d
last, when she sailed for PagO-Paeo, **i
moan Islands, at which place a coal depot
for the navy was established. Sailed from
Pago-Pago September <th, and arrived at
Honolulu September 26th, from which
place she sailed November 13th. The
Alaska has been in -commission thirty-two
months, and during that time she sailed
49,870 miles. ,
NEW DEPOT AT OAKLAND.
The Oakland Time., thus describes the
new depot building about to be erected by
the Central Pacific Railroad Company at
Oakland :
■ About fifteen months ago the Central
Pacific Railroad Company commenced the;
work of building the mole from the shore :
end at West Oakland to a distance of sir.
thousand five hundred and fifty feet. Thia*
work is now completed. At the shore end
this mole is six hundred feet wide. To
ward the center it narrows to about two
hundred feet and again widens out two !
hundred and eighty feet. At the water
end the fill-in is about twenty-two feet in
depth. Arrangements are being made to
lay down tracks, upon which all the pas
senger trains shall henceforth pass, taking
passengers from the ferry-boats directly
into cars which will travel over solid
round. Nothing but passenger trains will
be ran to the ferry landing. There ia
ample room for ten j tracks at the
outer end of the mole, and suffi
cient in any part of it for six tracks.
At an early day work will commence on
the finest railroad building on the Pacitic
coast, which will be bnilt on the outer end
of the mole as. a depot for passengers, office
of Superintendent and other offices. This
building will be 200 feet wide and 6*oo feet
long, with two wings each 900 feet in
length, into which trains will run, and it
will be arranged so that j>a«eugers- going
to San Francisco, who desire to go on the
upper deck of the steamer, will go up stairs
into waiting-rooms ami pass from thence
on the upper deck of Ihe ferry-boat, which,
will run close in. There will also be a
waiting-room below for those who wish to
pass immediately on the lower deck of the
steamer. The trains will be run into this
building and locked in. Arthur Brown, tin
man who built the hotel at Monterey, wilt
build this vast structure, and it is expected
that it will be ready fcr use in about
three months time. The building will be
thirty feet in hight and covered with cor
rugated iron and glass.
A STORY FROM ELMIRA.
A gentleman well known in this city a.-?
a "red-hot" Republican and something of
a betting man, after an absence of several
years, returned to the city of his younger
days early in the Presidential campaign.
Early in the summer he made no wagers,
but after the Indiana election he "sailed
in," betting large amounts. He made some
wagers on the general result, but meat of
his money was placed on the result in New-
York. He must have had several thousand
dollars at stake on the turn of the political
wheel of fortune in this State. About a
week before election day a Democratic
friend asked him if lie was not carrying
all of his eggs in a somewhat frail basket,
saying that New York State was even more
likely to go Democratic than Republican.
In support of this it was said that Now
York city would give at least 60,000»
Democratic majority. ■ Upon this the
backer of Republicanism said: . "Have,
you a pencil and note-book';*' " Yes."
" Take them and write down what I toll
yon." The pencil and note-book were taken
out, and he dictated as follows: "New
York city will give Hancock a majority of
—Have you got that down ?' " Yes."
" Forty-one— Have you got that?" "Yes."
" Forty-one '. thousand one hundred and
forty-one." " All right ; just look at those
figures after the election." And when, on
Thursday morning, his Democratic friend
took up the Advertiser, he read the figures
of Hancock's majority as returned at po
lice headquarters at 41,326. A man that
can guess the majority of New York city
within 185 on a poll of over 200,000 votes
has a right to hack his figures with hi*
money. - If any one doubts the truth of
this little tale, he can call at this office and
see the memorable figures, 41,141, as they
were written ten days before election-day.
[Elmira Gazette. : J ' ' ' -
IS NATURE ERRATIC ?
•i* At the last meeting of the Lime-kiln
Clnb, says the r Detroit • Free J. Press, the
Committee on | Harmony i reported that the
Concord School' of | Philosophy and the
Chicago ' Chamber yof f Metaphysics were
again by the ears, and ; had * asked the as
sistance of the lime-kiln Club to settle
their <ÜBpate..j. The Concorders held that
nature could ] not : make ;a '• mistake ; the
Chicago i philosophers ■ contended that she
could be thrown off her balance, if Neither
would recede from the position taken, and
the club was ■* appealed . to. „" I wish 'de
dispute had bin on de subject of beans rr
' taters, " i observed ; . the : old ': man -as ' he
scratched the bald; spot on' his
head. "Kin ' natur ' be f rowed - off her '
balance? bat's ' cordin' -" to i how we
look « at f it. J,- i If f I've ;.' ; got .- my "JJJ- corn
planted an' hung up de hoe an' long comes
a week's rain, I pat de ole gal on de back.
If my nabur war jist ready to plant, he gins
de ole lady away in ferocious language an'
kicks de dawg all ober de house. De Con
cord folkses should change dar assertion to.
Natur' cannot J favor one widout - offendin*
anoder. As Jto dc J second, Natur' has no
pertickle track to trabble on ; one day am*
gloniß an', de nex' dismal, f One day am dry
an' de nex' wet. fy She roars an' raves, an'
she sings an', sighs,' and we have to take it
as it conies. She ' has .no balance, an' she
can't be depended on. "JJ Darfore de Chicago
folkses should give w,ay on de original dis
pute an', sot up de claim . oat Natur' am er
ratic. De club will den be in full sympathy
wid 'em,* for we hab *e:n ,'leven J sorts •«:
weather hcah in two days, an'.,purty she *
days, too,"

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