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ENOWS TEE ARTIST
Howard Fielding: Tells What One
Man Has to -Answer For.
Be Bu a tittle Chat with the Van Who
.Draws nit-'Em-Hardi and TGanj;
Jokers for the Entire
Country.
""COPYRIGHT, 1894.1
I have discovered the man who
makes all the comic valentines. Yes,
jjentle reader, it is true that one con
science has to carry the entire burden.
Perhaps you do not know how heavy
l that burden is. .beam, then, mat tne
If person to whom I have referred draws
about nine hundred valentine pictures
every year, and each of them is printed
In editions of fifteen thousand. Most
6f them are sold in this country, but
there is also quite an export trade with
Europe. The most popular of them
run through many editions. But let
us suppose that each of them has two
editions. That will give a total of 27,
000.000 a year. Now reflect, further,
that every one of them is designed to
make somebody swear, and you begin
to get an idea of the terrible
business in which tliis artist is
engaged. Let us suppose that twenty
millions of them reach their desti
nations and that each individual re
cipient swears only five times. We have
a total of one hundred million cuss
words for vrhich my friend, the artist,
Is directly responsible every year.
Suppose, further, that the artist
holds his job thirty-six and a halj
years, anrl afterwards suffers in Purga
tory one Jay for every piece of violent
lamruago caused by him, as computed
above, lie will be there ten million
years; and 1 do not call it enough.
Thes'j mathematical operations are
founded upon exact facts. In this let
ter I m simply trjring to state a mat
ter of news in plain woids.
I have known the valentine artist
for a long time, but never suspected
him of doing anything of that kind. It
waf only yesterday thatriearned about
it. I went into his work shop just as
he Snished a drawing. I looked over
Li j shoulder expecting to see a pretty
THE BABOON YAXE:mE.
picture designed for one orf the maga
tines, with the familiar signature, C.
Howard. Instead I saw a horrible
freak wearing a white apron, and en
paged in pouring cats into a sausage
mill.
"That's a sweet, thing, Howard," said
X. "What's it for?"
"For a butcher," said he. "It's in
tended to be a slight -token of some
body's regard on February 14. I've
made nearly a thousand of these things
this year. What do you suppose old
33aint Valentine, patron of the pleasanl
occasion, will do with mo when he geti
told of me?"
That naturally led to a discussion oi
the whole subject. It appears that
Howard does not allow these drawing!
to interfere m any way with his art
work. Ho has a very nice way of get
ling the time to do them. In those mo
Imcnts of dissatisfaction which an or
Binary man would waste in swearing
Dr in throwing a fellow-creature down
Stairs Howard simply draws valen
tines. It relieves his fcelingb perfectly.
I was, -glad to know this, for I had been
at a loss to account for the exemplary
mildness of his disposition. It would
be unjubt of course to compare so fa
vored a person with ourselves. We do
not have the opportunity of insulting
twenty-seven million strangers every
pear. Wo must do the best we can
with only our families and friends.
It appears that comic valentines are
11 offensive. They are divided broadly
Into two classes which are known tech
nically as the "Hit-'em-Hards" and the
"Long Jokers." By the rules of ordina
ry social courtesy a person may replj
O. IIOWAKD.
The Valentino Artist
Jo a Long Joker with a club, but if h
Jrets a Hit-'em-Hard he takes down the
fcld musket from the wall.
The enormous sale of these tilings
iroves thatjthey must fill a longing oi
he human heart The two sexes fee)
his want about equally. Just as many
Tire painted for men as for women. 1
Regard that as an interesting fact
tvhich might easily escape the notice
f a less acute student of human nature
&han myself. J ust how badly you have
o hate a person before you." feel im-
Kswsjwi
A reaiedv -which.
5f used by Wbes
about to experience
tho painful ordeal
attendant upon
Child-birth, proves
an Infallible neci
fie for,andofrmtes
tho tortures of con-lme-nent,
leeceninj:
the dangcre thereof
to both mother -Mid
child. Sold by all
druppsts. Sentby
crprees on receipt
ot price, 1.50 ier
bottle, charges pre-
IUDFIELD REGULATOR CO., Atlanta. Ga,
pelled to" insult him pictoriaHy on the
14th of February, I am unable to state.
But there must be a good many million
people in this country who could tel?
from their personal experience. This
practice shows the general recognition
of the artistic value of contrast. An
added charm must cling to the picture
of a jackass labeled: "This is You,"
when it is received on the day sacred
to lovers' tokens.
Mr. Howard tells me that these val
entines are all directed to the pictorial
exhibition of some human fault or fol
ly. If they were confined to any other
field he might find it difficult to draw
as many as nine hundred in a single
year.
A considerable number of the val
entines intended for woman satirize
eccentricities of fashion. This winter
there is a great field for that sort of
work in the prevailing style of capes.
The preposterously broad and stiff
shoulders with their convoluted edge
THE MODERN DUBE.
turned up make a woman look llKe th
head of John the Baptist on a charger.
Mr. Howard tells me that he has tried
to exaggerate the absurdities of this
kind of cape and has failed.
"I can't make it look worse than it
really does when I see it on the street,"
he said, "and so I have to make up foi
it by drawing a cross-eyed woman in
side the cape. The worse the face
looks the better the valentine sells. 1
should think it would make a poor girl
who had put all her cash into one of
those capes feel pretty good to be
tenderly remembered with one of these
cape valentines on the 14th. I under
stand that they are already in great
demand, which shows the state of en
vious resentment among the girls who
are wearing their last winter's capes."
Passing to men's attire, the dude in
caricature of this order has changed
very little in the past five or six years
In this connection the artist told me
one of the toughest experiences that
ever I heard. It appears that he once
drew a particularly offensive dude val
entine. Tho absolute idiocy of the
countenance which he put on the dude
left nothing whatever to be desired
Of course there were many other dude
caricatures that year, but this was the
most offensive, by long odds. It hap
pened that a young man of Mr. How
ard's acquaintance got three valentines
that year from three different cities,
and every one of, his unknown admirers
picked out this identical valentine.
What could a man think under such
exceptional circumstances except that
there was a distinct resemblance be
tween himself and the fellow in the
picture. It must have been deeply de
pressing. I learn from Mr. Howard
that this gentleman did not commii
suicide, but he would have committed
murder under favorable conditions.
One of the most successful valentines
ever sent out was entitled "The Slug
gard." It represented a man in bed
A pair of naked and gigantic feet hung
over the footboard, which was in th
foreground, and the sun, with a smih
of derision on his countenance, wai
seen looking in through an open win
TITE OIn MAID ALWAYS SELLS WELL.
dow. Mr. Howard gave this to me it
a philosophical spirit, as a sample o
what is considered a rare joke by manj
thousands of persons.
Perhaps the richest thing if popu
lar applau:e be tho criterion in the
line of comic valentines for women
nasa picture entitled "Going to Seed."
It represented a particularly ill-conditioned
plant in a large red fiower-pot
and the flower was the typical head oi
an old maid. Thousands upon thou
sands of these were sold, and they
served, doubtless, to embitter the
thoughts of a corresponding number oi
women who ought rather to have been
congratulated
While many of these valentines are
used in malice the real reason why
they sell is that the people think that
they are funny. There's a very deep
theme. I have made a special study
of the problem: "What do people laugh
at? ' And I have partly solved it. 1
have learned what I myself laugh at,
that the remaining persons mentioned
in Mr. Porter's census have thus fat
eluded me. And even in my own case
the result is, not constant. One. day,
perhaps, I can laugh at one of my own
jokes, and a few da-s later, when I rur
across it in a copj of an "old magazine
which died b'eforo I was born, it won't
seem funny at alL But Mr. Howard
has gone farther. He has not only
discoered the secret of what is humor
to a great class of our citizens, but he
has learned what will make one man
laugh and another man. swear. I call
that a considerable triumph.
Howard Fixldixg.
Heclnnlnc wlth'tixarie.
Mamma Now. Teddy,we must all try
and give up something whilo times are
so hard.
'TVflr? T-T'm litlKnr
Mamma What will it be, dear?
Teddv Soao. Bostoa Globa.
SHE IS TO-BLAME
Giddy Married Women Do Greal
Harm to the Debutante. ,
-Mteapectabla Hads" of Families Teacl
Many a Callow Id to Think That Im
morality la Smart Let the Ideas
of tho Yonnjr Be High.
fCOPTHICnT, 1891.1
HERE is nc
more subtle
a nd certain
way to corrupt
young men and
maidens than
by allowing
them compan
ionship of mar
ried men and
women whose
ideals are low, however respectable
their lives may seem to the world.
Parents are very careful in the selec
tion of playmates and comrades foi
their children, but not infrequently
the young debutante is allowed the
almost freedom of association with
some married woman, whose ideas oi
THE DEBUTANTE AND TOTJXG MRS.
GIDDV. x
life are like a slow poison to theyoung
girl's plastic mind.
A fair divorcee once told me that the
wreck of her marital happiness was
due to such a friendship in her early
girlhood. "My parents were most
critical of all my girl friends," she said,
"but this charming married society
women and belle was allowed to chape
rone me, and take me about with her
whenever she chose. My mother was
not a society woman, and of course
she was flattered by the attention to
her daughter of one who was. Queer,
how a good, honest and otherwise
level-headed woman can have that
abject reverence for an inferior
person morally and mentally who is
called a society woman; but my
mother felt that reverence, and al
lowed me to stay two or three days at
a time with Mrs. Giddy. Of course I
enjoyed it what girl of my age would
rot? tvrs. Gi&ily was always sur
rounded by a throng of men, and Mr.
Giddy was always at the club.
"His wife declared that they were
devoted to each other, but that each
enjoyed 'a little harmless flirtation'
now and then. It was old fogy and
stupid to think such things wrong.
Well, Mrs. Giddy sails along on a
smooth sea to-day but when I mar
ried and attempted to adopt the same
principles my barque went to pieces on
the rocks of a great scandal. I think
the flirtiest sort of girl friends I could
have associated with would not have
harmed me as this chaperon did."
The wife who is forever sneering at
sentiment and romance in married life,
and representing husbands as the
gravje diggers of happiness, is a poor
companion for an impressionable
young girl. The young are build
ing their own future by their
thoughts, hopes and desires. Any
phase of thought insisted upon and in
dulged in long enough brings a result
of its own kind, in greater or less de
gree. The wife who tears down tho
young girl's illusion of happy mar
riage is preventing that illusion from
becoming a reality which the very
power of the maiden's desire might
have made it in time. As tho priests
of India oan produce the beautiful
shape of a tree and make it visible to
the eye from the power of thought
force, so can the force of a maiden's
love and faith produce a happy and
lasting romance, if she is not diverted
from her object by sneers and sarcasms.
Better by far the most frivolous of
girl friends, than one such woman as
sociate. It is a queer fact that while a mother
and father would be horrified beyond
expression at tho idea of having a
young datightcr listen to the conversa
tion of an unchaste wife, both parents
are perfectly indifferent to the com
radeship of their sons, growing lads
and youths, with unchaste husbands,
who boast of their Don Juan adven
tures, or speak of them as mere inci
dents in the life of a man.
I dare venture to assert that not two
youths out of every ten in American
towns, villages or cities, grow to man
hood without overhearing half a dozen
conversations of this nature among
men.
It is all very well for a young man to
know what temptations lie in the
world and in himself. Ignorance never
saved a dozen souls from the pitfalls
of Satan, while it has opened the trap
door to thousands. But there is a vast
difference between talking freely to
a j'outh of what exists in tho world,
and so forewarning him, and of lightly
jesting on the subject in his hearing.
A lad must be born with exception
ally strong principles, and high ideas
of right and wrong, not to gain the
idea that immorality in regard to
woman is "smart" when he hears it
discussed as a natural phase of man
hood bjr his elders.
The parents who grieve their hearts
out over the companionship which ex
ists jbetween their son and jsome.wild.
BEWARE THFE GRIP
Dr. Edson fears another epidemic,
and sounds the alarm.
In lung and chest pains, coughs, colds,
hoarseness and pneumonia, no other
external remedy affords prompt preven
tion and quicker cure than
BENSON'S POROUS PLASTER.
Indorsed by over 5.000 Physicians and
Chemists. Be sure to get the genuine
Benson's-may bo had from all druggists.
SEABURY L JOHNSON, Chemists. N. Y. CHy. i
dissipated youth, might have" averted
the disaster had they guarded that
THE YOUTH L18TES8 TO A S1TAET AT
YEXTGBE. son a few years earlier from hearing
the conversation of "respectable"
heads of families.
However weak may human nature
be, however bad may the world be let
the ideals of the young be kept high
and pure as long as possible, and much
of the maintaining of those ideals rests
Nupon the married men and women
with whom they associate
Ella Wheeler Wilcox.
THE RULING PASSION.
A. Strlldnp Illuitrartlon of the Force el
Habit.
He loved the winsome lass with a
love none the less ardent because she
was a clerk in a dry goods store, and
he had met her there behind the. coun
ter when he had come in to make pur
chases. But she was no ordinary girl, and he
knew that if he won hex as his own, it
would be no easy conquest.
For weeks and weeks he had been to
see her, and for weeks he had hesita
ted on the brink of a proposal, which
involved all his happiness.
Yet the girl did not seem to realize
how near she was to him, nor that
any moment might precipitate the
final question.
However, these things cannot con
tinue forever, and one Sunday aftei
noon as they were walking his voice
became low and tremulous-, and she
looked up shyly into his face.
"Christine," he whispered, "may I
ask you a question?"
"Certainly, George," she assented
frankly. "What is it?"
"Will you be my wife?"
She turned as if a shelf were behind
her.
"I'm very sorry, ".she said, softly. "Is
there anything else to-day?" Detroit
Free Press.
Youthful Obaerrers.
Little Bessie Let's play we're a mar
ried couple keeping house.
Ethel All right, but you must be
the husband. Ma saj'S I ain't strong
snough to stand the punishment. Chi
sago Record.
His Dear Wife.
Brown That wife of yours just fills
the bill.
Jones She more than does it. The
last one that came in ran clear, over to
-he next page. Detroit Free Presa.
WEIGHT OF BEES.
Borne Interesting; Kesearches Concerning
a Rather Peculiar Subject.
An interesting note about the weight
of bees appears inj an American jour
nal devoted to, agriculture, says Dr.
Andrew Wilson. It' seems that an or
dinary "bee, not carrying any load of
pollen, weighs the one five-thousandth
of a pound. Five thousand bees thus
make up a pound weight. When, how
ever, the bee is carrying his load of
pollen or honey, as he returns from for
aging amid the flowers, his weight is
increased nearly three times. He car
ries thus about twice his own weight
a result not surprising to those who
have studied tho muscular powers and
ways of insects at large. When bees
are loaded it requires only eighteen
Jhundred of them tomake up the pound.
TDetails are also given regarding the
number of bees which may exist in a
hive. From four-pound to five-pound
weight of bees are found in an ordinary
colony. This means in figures of pop
ulation some twenty thousand to twenty-five
thousand individuals. A big
swarm, it is said, will often double this
estimate.
Talking of bees, if any of my readers
rwish to indulge in a very enricra and
fascinating bit of zoological study they
should read the story of what is called
"parthenogenesis" in bees and other
insects, such as tho aphides or green
flies of the roses and other plants. For
such eggs of the queen bee as are fer
tilized when laid turn out workers, (or
neuters) or queens, while those which
are not fertilized at all develop htto
males or drones. This is very singu
lar, because fertilization of an egg or
seed is regarded ordinarily as neces
sary for its due development. I know
of nothing more extraordinary than
the story biology has to tell regarding
this curious by-way of animal develop
ment. DANGERS OF EMOTION.
The Fart That Fear Flays in Rendering:
People Liable to Disease.
Many violent maladies have been
supposed to have been produced under
the operation of moral influences. Sen
nert believed that fear was capable of
provoking erysipelas. Hoffman also
made fear and the adynamy resulting
from it play an important part as the
predisposing cause of contagious dis
eases. Dr. H. Tuke believed, in par
ticular, in the influence of fear upon
the contagion of rabies. The break
ing out of rabies has been sometimes i
observed after psychic emotion, says j
Popular Science Monthly. Bonley
cites the case of a dog which went mad ;
after having been immersed in water.
Gamleia cites a similar case in a man, I
and another in a woman who was j
frightened by a drunken man. In i
order to avoid the influence of fear, j
Desgenettes concealed the name and
the nature of the plague; and it is to
be remarked further that the Turks
died less rapidly of it than the Chris
tians. Cullen supposed that sad emo
tions favor contagious diseases, and
particularly the plague.
This disposition to cont3cion after
violent emotions which determine dis
charge of the secretions may be partly
explained by the fact that the con
ditions that diminish the proportion of
the liquids of the blood favor absorp
tion. It. however, seems at least prob
able that the nervous discharge is ac
companied by alterations of the blood
and modifications of the interior me
dium which justify the popular expres
sions concerning having badblpii and
turning th.ej blood,
TWO STYLES OF FICTION.
Comparison or. the, Greatest English assi
Greatest American Novelists.
.Special Correspondence.!
New York, Feb. 5. Robert Louis Ste
venson is in receipt of many letters from
these who admire his writings, and who de
sire to write fiction themselves, asking
him if he will not give some advice for be
ginners or tell the story of his own early
experiences, &o that this account might be
of value to others who have literary ambi
tion. Mr. Stevenson could not expect at a
great expenditure of time to reply to all
these letters, so that he has determined to
answer all of them at one time ana in one
article, which will give an account of how
he came to write his first book and inci
dentally some story ot his early struggles
in literature.
It will be a fascinating sketch, because
those who have known what Mr. Steven
son's early struggles were have sometimes
wondered that he had the perseverance to
continue in the face of so many discourage
ments and such frequent rejection of his
manuscripts. Many persons suppose that
Mr. Stevenson made a hit with his first
book, believing that first book to have been
"Dr. Jeykll and Mr. Hyde." Bat that is
because Stevenson had been heard of by
only a comparati ely limited number up to
the time of the publication of that allegory,
for in his opinion "Jekyll and Hyde" is
nothing but an, allegory suggesting the
double nature which is inherent in man
kind. .
There had been yeans of incessant, ex
hausting toil and discipline before Mr.
Stevenson was able to put the fancies of his
brain into such shape as would" command
public approval. The story of "Jekyll and
Hyde,11 for instance, was verylong in devel
opment, although it was written almost as
swiftly as was Dr. Johnson's "Kasselas,"
which Johnson wrote in a few days that he
might raise the money to pay the expenses
of his mother's funeral.
The idea which subsequently developed
into the story of " Jekyjl and Hyde" was in
Stevenson's mind for a long time. He tried
to formulate it many times, but without
such results as were satisfactory to him.
He had almost given up the hope of being
able to produce a story which should sug
gest the idea of a dual nature of men, when
one night, finding himself at an old fash
ioned inn somewhere in England, a storm
raging without and he having no other
companion than the fire in the grate, there
flashed in his mind as by inspiration what
seemed to him to be the successful way of
writing that btory. In a moment he began
it, and writing with what for him was un
usual speed he completed it, not expecting
that it would prove any more popular than
some of the other sketches which he had
previously i ritten. It surprised him and
of late years has somewhat annoyed him
to know that his fame was built upon that
story.
Publishers say that today Stevenson is
by long odds the most popular writer of fic
tion, at least of fiction which is read by
English speaking people. His latest short
story, "The Ebb Tide," had a very great
success when publibhed serially, and the
advance demand for copies in book form in
dicates that the edition may possibly be us
large as that of any of his other novels, ex
cepting possibly "Treasure Island" or "Je
kyll and Hjde."
,Tho&e who have been reading with inter
est Mr.'Howells' papers on his literary pas
Bions, which are really a series of sketches
describing the manner in which he was at-
MRS. H. L. STKVK.NSOJT.
tracted to literature and the Influences
which shaped his literary taste, will fi id
great pleasure in comparing there delight
ful confessions with Mr. Steenson'ft sketch
of his early experiences which is soon to be
published.
Howells is the most famous American
writer of fiction, although that does not
mean that he is the most popular. His lit
erary canons areutterly different from those
which have governed Mr. Stevenson. How
ells professes to have no high regard for
Dickens, Thackeray or Scott, although the
greatest of English critics, Mr. Andrew
Lang, has pointed out that the realism in
Thackeray's novels is equally faithful as
that to which Mr. Howells has devoted his
stories and far more interesting.
St even 'ou revealed in the bketch of his
early1 life an extraordmary fondness for
those very romance whieh Mr. Howells
seems to despUe. He read and reread Wal
ter Scett until he knew the novels of his
countryman by heart. He bad a warm
plnce for some of Dickens' stories and was
able to see beneath the exaggerations and
caricatures the re elatioas of human nature
which Dickens nought to portray. Stev
son believed that in his best work Dicke
was a consummate artist, because the il
sions created by his very exaggeratio s
were for the time being perfect.
Xext to his admiration for bcott rw the
intense delight which he felt for the ro
mances of Alexandre Dumas stories which
Mr. Howells. it is said, could never get in
terested in, and which he has passed out
in hU critical works with the silence which
seems to indicate contempt. Stevenson's
idea is that in many respects D'Artagnan
is the finest character of modern fiction,
because, he Hays, it seems, whn you are
reading "TheThree Guardsmen." as though
D'Artagnan was a flesh and blood man as
though you knew him and were with him
and delighted in his boastings, his courage
tnd his peccadillos.
So when Stevenson began to write for the
public he took prcci5ely the opposite view
from that which Mr. Howells professed. He
belie ed that a story should be told for iL
own sake. He detested moralizing and
had small use for lengthy descriptions of
nature. He did not b-lieve in analysis, but
thought that the characters as, they worked
out the story ougnt to suggest their own
analysis, as is the case in life. Now that
these two mo'-t i-uccessfu! authors, differ
ing widely in their methods, are furnishing
the public with their literary confessions
tno-e who desire to make repute as writers
will have abaadaat opportunity to choost
between them E. J. Edwaeds.
ItU said that the human hair will turn
white during violent ezaotioa if the hand i
laid upon U.
They TVr There.
Lowstand 3Iy mind was inspired with
the thought of the great writer?, sir,
when I wrote this thesis.
Professor Yes, so it seems. Thre are
thoughts from most all of them in it.
Tale Record.
Time Fllf, Sometimes.
She Papa said yon must nor stay after
11 o'clock.
He It's 9 o'clock now.
She Mercy! We have only two honri
W air good airht. X eir York Wtkbr.
AIL HALLOWS ACADEMY.
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FOK 1893-94. WICHITA, KANSAS.
This Academy, established in 1SS7. possesses every advantage that parents can desire ftn
the general improvement or their children.
'1 he aito is attractive, and, as experience has proved, mtwt advantajons for tho promotioe
of good health. 1 he grounds arc neat and bpacious, affording means for the enjoyment oi
invigorating exercise.
'1 he Sisters of Charity of tha B. V. M., bains especially devoted to the Instruction of youth
sparo no pains to win the heart to virtue, and they imp.irt to their pupils a solid and rellned
scholarship. With a visilant and immediate supermtendance, they provide for the want ud
comforts ot the children intrusted to their care.
Studies will be resumed the first Monday in September.
For further particulars apply to tho SISTER SUPERIOR,
AU Hallows Academy, Wichita. Kansas.
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.
Mrs. William Tarbox, of Natick, R.
I., is a woman of high aims. A burglar
got into her house the other night, and
she fired three shots at his head. The
souvenirs he left behind were a hat
with a bullet hole in the crown and a
section of the lobe of one of his ears.
An American woman who is much
liked in English society is Mrs. Bur
rowes, of Stradone, Ireland. She is the
daughter of Commodore Q. A. Magru
der, the Virginian, who left the United
States navy at tho outbreak of the re
bellion. Her husband is the descend
ant of an English gentleman who re
ceived from James I. a grant of tha
Stradone estate.
The Marquis de Rays, lately de
ceased, is said to have suggested to Al
phonse Daudet his very amusing char
acter of "Port Tarascon." The mar
quis raised a large fund to found a
colony at Port Breton, in Oceanica, but
kept most of the money, and sent a few
"colonists" to starve in the mythical
settlement. He served five years in
prison for this scheme.
One woman worth $20,000.000 is Miss
Mary Garrett, of Baltimore, daughter
of the railroad king. She is quite
stout, of medium height, with a pale
face and blue eyes, a bib concealed by
gold-trimmed spectacles. She spends
most of her time traveling, speaks hall
a dozen languages fluently, and keeps
herself a3 well posted on all railroad
affairs as does her brother Robert, the
present head of the Baltimore & Ohio
system.
One of the most singular volumes
extant is the manuscript diary oi
James II. It is preserved in the im
perial library in ParLi, and is filled
with reflections on tho course he
should have pursued in order to retain
the English throne. Ho saj-s in one
place: "I did not retire from the Battlo
on the Bo3ne from a sense of fear,
but that I might preserve to the world
a life that I felt was destined to future
greatness."
"Sophie May," the author of those
fascinating books for children, "Dotty
Dimple" and "Littl Prudj," has been
in southern California for over a year,
trying to recover from a serious neu
ralgic affection of the eyes and head.
Mr. William Lee, her publisher, re
ceived a letter from her a few days ago,
saying that her health was much im
proved, and sho trusted that she wai
well on the road to permanent rccov- ,
ery. This is good news for her friends.
The Countess Tolstoi isnn extreme
ly clever woman, intellectually, and
one who is more than a match for her
husband in his arguments. She is oi
necessity the financial manager of the
family; has taken possession of the es
tate, which she administers for the
food of her husband and children. She
it was who issued a few years ago the
cheap edition of Count Tolstoi's novels,
on the ro3'alties of which the house
hold has been supported. N. O. Pica
yune. A man in Elmira who used to et
something of Mark Twain, say thai
the humorist always took an unex
pected view of things. He (Mark) was
asked to go to the reformatory and
give a reading to the boys there, from
one of his stories. He replied: "Now
that's a good idea for me. Because I
have been asked by a literary club to
read down in the town. The boys ar
unarmed and under guard, and it will
be perfectly safe for rac. By watch
ing them I can get an idea of how safe
it's likely to be to read the same thins;
to that club." He gave both readings,
md still lives.
HUMOROUS.
Stranger "Can yon direct ae t
the Old Colonv depot? Denizen
"You'll have to ask somebody else, ir.
I'm not an Old Colony director." Bo v
ton Transcript.
Johnny Plcntv "Fay, Jimmy, does
pie hurt anybody? My aunt says it
iofs," Jimmy Scant "Couldn't tell
ycr, Johnny. I never had no chance
ter "speriment." Boston Courier.
"Oh. I say. Smith era. why are gat
meters like the Arabs?. "Don'tkncw,
Joaesy. Bccau.e erery man's hand Is
igainst themr' ".No. .Because they
evidently steal away."" "J. Y. Eecorde.
Mrs. Wedde ,lSo yoa are to be
married?" Mi Unwedde "Yes. and
t want you to teJI roe which i the
luckiest month to be married in." Mrs.
Wedde "The thirteenth, my dezr
Godey's Magazine.
"Ton don't look like ye'd had very
MA FAIK FACE MAY PROVE A FOUL BAR
CAIN." MARRY A PLAIN GIRL IF SHE USES
SAPOLIO
trood luck at dat house," 'said Plodding
Pete. "I got a cake," replied Meander
IngMike. "Den what yer loekin' su
sour about?" " 'Twaa er cake o soap."
Washington Star.
Poor Pay "I'm in a lot of trouble.
The landlady says I'll have to settle up
or leave." Dead Broke "Why, you're
in great luck, old man. My landlady
savs I must settle up before I can
leave." N. Y. Herald.
"And so, Peter, you spell 'women
with an 'a?' " said the teacher, correct
ing an exercise. "Please, air," was the
reply, "my papa told mamma only yes
terday that women werw singula!
beings." Music and Drama.
The Condition of Affairs. 01ara-
"How did Charlie look last night when
your father mot him in the hall?" Uar
riet "He didn't look at all. He just
shut his cyeH and waited for the,
shock." Detroit Free Presa.
"You've moved into that new flal
on the corner?" "Yes." "Is it heated
by furnace?" "No." "Iteara heat,
eh?" "No." "Heavens! man, what
have yon?" "A janitor that stands ix
ith the landlord." Imtr-Ocean.
"Why did yo shoe this man?
"In self-defence," answered the police
man. "Why, he was running awa
from you!" "I know it locked no. Bus
I was afraid he was going around the
block to attack me fresn bekiad."
Washington Star.
"Whom do yon consider the jjieat
est inventor of the tinaeef " asked ona
woman. "My husband," aho replied,
proudly. "Why, I sneln't lnsew he ever
invented anything." "Yoa should hea
the excuses he give for coming bom
at two o'clock ba tie ninatsij " Waaler
iafton Star.
JSmj Kot B Enonch for Btk
First Lawyer What do you think
the inheritance tax?
Second Lawyer Well, there's one
Uiing I want to know. In cane of a
disputed will does the government ex
pect to come in before the lawyef-
Puck.
FahrvSi obi 0rBaa Ratlf
Parrot hare been taught to amuse
by their bxutatkin ef the human voice.'
and new their yowwm in this respaa?
have been made uaa-ei lor a practical
purpose. At almost every station, on a
German railway the station master,
baa a patrot cr a starling trained,
that whenever a train drawn u at tW
platform it commenasH ealling out th
name of the station mott distinctly,
end not only this, but it coniicoea di-'
ing no while the train remains thre.'
This has been found an excellent toada
of kifcrming the passengers whera
thcr.are.
Children Cry for
Pitcher's Castorfa.
DAVIDSON & CASE
f t.rr r
John Davidson- Poinecr Lmnheruiei
of hedgwick" Cguihj.
IHABIJSHJJD :-: IKw 1870
A romplei Stock of I'ln La caber
bbingles, i.ntj. Door. Nash,
etc, always ou baud.
Office and yarrts on Meley areb
ivern Duuirlatt ate. and J-'InU bL and
biancb ynida aI L'ulon City, Okli
l.oma City, HI JSeno, lliuco. Fond
( reek and Lnod, Olclshoaia Terri
tory. Gat Lombard,
Caahfef
v.". JJ.I.mxr.rtw.
AttlitiUiJCA4Uf
J'tedfJlt.
State National Bank.
or trcuiTA, has.
CAPITA U
6lMU'U3.
JOO.BO
100.0O
VlltECTOltS:
C, T. CTr. V' F irtti.i P. .e. J
M. AlUtL. I'. V. H-J H. Uiatord. J A. 21
i !vr,se, L. U. tUtttf, 'a L. Lttra.
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