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" tuiM'"' ' w ' ' ''fi 'r "" T"
L01HI7 nnd meet t lolt Rnr
Th idmiIow nmonff.
Od morn rcj htpliml ma!,
VMtb car.Ii heart and Ml tirade
Tb meadow land and anna;.
' Ah I" iM the tlnlet, " wonM I were
Horn etalelj garfUn fiowfr,
That I might gltljertd ), end prrread
One littlo botir to her ewt breaet.
Only on JHUe hour."
On rmtnn tb roey ihephard laee,
With heart tint Mlj- tat,
And cruabM tha ill In thnnriM.
II onlj !.!, " How ewwt."
11 How evwt,M It nilt, with fainting mean,
" If t mint ill, t die alono
To ill at hat ilar fel."
oil' wis took a noMtmut.
Now our houso i qtiito a Inrgo ouo,
nnd, beside llioso apartments which wo
occupy ourselves nnd those which wo
dedicate to our guests, tliero is n very
nioo liltlo room on tlio second floor,
which wo novor uso nnd very soldom
Ono morning, wlion T happened to
fool in n very economical mood, I be
thought myself Hint, woru this room
furnished prettily, wo might just ns well
aH not tnko u boarder tliero woro such
numbers of ndvortiiements in tlio papers
for just ouch' places. So many singlo
Indies wished "ho.ird in n private fami
ly whoro no other boarders tcro tuken,"
itnd so many single gentlemen pined for
" tlio comfortn of n home," that I had
no doubt wo could suit ourselves ex
actly. Accordingly I broached the subject to
Psalter ut tho tablo that very ovouing.
I'salter only laughed nt first, but, when
ho found that I was in earnest, ac
quiesced iu tho nrrnngement, merely
ritipulatiug that neither maiden lady nor
"gentleman and his wife" wero to bo
coroo inhabitants of tho apartment.
Consequently my choicu was limited.
A singlo gentleman I must hnro, nud I
wan determined to bo very particular
nbout him. I consider mypelf n protty
good judgo of character, nnd I rcHolvod
to Holect nu iiilelleetual, moral ami well
lnnnncred person, or to givo up tho idea
Tuesday and Wednesday passed with
out any answer, 'f huriulny brought a
young mnn belonging to n flro company,
who stipulated that the members of his
"innchino" should bo allowed tho privi
lege of moeting in my parlor onco a
week, as their ongino house, was out of
order, and Iikowiso mentioned Hint ho
nhvnyn tool: brandy instead of milk ill
To this gentleman's proposals I was
obliged to nnsw or in tho negative, and,
on his pressing the point, to inform him
that tho reception of tho engine com
pany would of itiolf bo au insupornfilo
obstacle. Ididnotthiok it prudent to add
that his appcarnuco and conversation
did not tend to make mu desirous of his
society. Although I thought so, 1 based
juy objection altogether UKn tho flru
company's expectation of meeting in tho
I had said enough to ofl'cnd my visitor,
however, for ho thrust his bond forward
turtle fashion, nnd remarked that I lind
bottcrnot "say anything ugin No. '210,"
nnd that I might bo "hopping glad to
hnvo 'emmeut in mypailor, for for nil I
thought myself Mmo punkins, I was
only small pcrtnturs," and that No. 'J 10
O boya wero lino fellers, nud I'd hotter not
contradict him bit ny ? "and departed,
leaving nn odor of bad cigars nnd atalo
whisky behind him.
My next applicant was a maiden lady,
who desired necommodntions for horself,
n parrot, a kitten, two poodles, mon
key, and u cabinet of miueralogicnl spec:
iinens. Of course sho did not suit mo,
especially au shu was very particular in
her inquiries us to my Borvaut girl's cu.
pnbility of washing and attending upon
poodles nnd parrots.
Ola ly following upon herheolscumo
gentleman of respectable appearance
snd pluusiblo addroit, with whom, in
rpilo otu pair of very wild, singular
eyes, which prutrnded beyond tho lids
nntil tliey appeared to drop out into his
cheeks, I was mightily tuken. In fact,
tho arrangements wero nearly concluded,
when, to my horror, I mado tho dis
covery that ho was a professor of spirit
ualism, and u fcponkiug and surging
medium; likewise, my oyes wero opened
at onco to tho singularity ot tho gentle
man's oyos by this confession, tmd I
boenmo aware that tho nearest iusauo
asylum would, in all probability, suit
him far better tliuumy himiblodwelling.
Ho, with an inward thanksgiving for my
rescue, I got out of tho scrapa as pohto
ly as possible, ultd tho " medium " de
parted. Then arrived tbieo very untidy youug
men, who wanted to share tho apart
ment, nud reoeivo scholars ou the
After these had p irtcd, I declare I
wii; quito out ". patience, and ulmost
resolved to givo up my notable idea al
' together ; but, just us I had cotuo to
this resolution, I heard another ring nt
tho bell. Huch a ring I Not n loud, im
perative, abrupt po.il, but u modest,
musical tiutiutubulatio'i, which bolok
oned au unassuming uud well-bred up
plicnnt for udmission.
"A youug gontloiuau" so Iliddy in
formed mo ; uud, utter pecpiug iu tho
gloss to sou if my hair was smooth, I
run up stairs.
Tlieio was n young gentleman iu tho
parlor a tnll, fair youug man, with
straight, Btrnw-couHVil hair, combed
buck from h s forehead with a rush, nnd a
white cravat of muiUieritl proportions.
lie had dour little bauds iueuicd iu tho
most deliouto of gloves, and was so
liolite and gentlemanly that, really, I
thought to myself, 1 could not pouiuly
find any ouo who would suit mo bettor
(or a boarder.
Ho was ou a vUit to tho city so ho
mid and his principal object in the so
leotuui of a boarding place was privacy
and good society, lie was a church
member Mil kept very early hours, lie
was very fond of children, and would
be happy, if I had any ot thooo dear
oreaturea, to instruct them iu any little
aeooavpUsbment, such as drawing, or
ittiulc, u au agroeablo uauuer of pass
ing lib Uistuti hour. Altogether ho
wm aiiwfoet odA.
Saturday Pre s &
SUPPLEMENT, NOVEMBER 257 1882. ' "' """ '"""" " """
f uuny nnppnnlng to run in juH then,
tho young gentleman took her upon his
knee, nnd thny beenmo friendly nt onro.
Ho, somehow or other, It wns all settled
inn few moments, nnd Mr, Orlando Al
berts hod agreed to become tlio occtl
pnnt of my npartinent. After tlio biui
nefls had been entiicly settled, ho be
gan tochntwith mo nnd Pnntiy, nnd tho
other children, who hnd mailo thoir np
icnrnuco ; nnd, whilo wo wero convers
ing, tho hours passed so quickly thnt it
wns dinner timo bef jro I know it, nnd,
I'snltcrnnd Brother John coming home,
they wero introduced to our new boarder,
and insisted ou hit dining with us thnt
very day. Ho accepted tho invitation
veiy sncctly, nnd said Hint, if wo wero
willing, ho should bo most happy to en
ter upon his now quarters thnt very
evening, and would send to tlio Astor
lloiiso for his luggage tho next lUy, ns
ho wns some what fatigued by his jour
ney. To this prniioiitirn wo unani
mously assented, and then nil axt don
to dinner, Mr. Alberts unying grnco nt
its commencement, nnd cxpreMtiiig, iu
tho conversation which ensued, such ox
celleut sentiments on nil subjects, thnt
w,o wero absolutely chnrmed with him.
Very soon nftr the meal was linishid
our boarder pleaded futigu?, rctiied to
his own npartinent, mid I'salter, Jnhn
and myself, n littlu later, set ofl for a
concert which wo wero wry desirous of
hearing, leaving the children in chnrgo
of Iliddy, with instructions to put them
to bed nt 9 o'clock precisely.
"How do you like Mr. Alberts, my
ioar?" I a!d to Psalter, nswo wnlkei1
"Tolerably," replied Psalter; "he
peoins to bo n very excellent poling iu-x.i
not particularly brilliant, but voiy
woithy and well-mannered."
" Well, it is better to bo good than k
bo brilli'ut, is it not? " I remarked.
"Hut how do you know that Mr. Al
berts is not both?" inquired John.
"Tliero is n latent tiro in his oyo, a sup
pressed fervor iu his voice, that tells mo
ho is truly great. Of such men were
martyrs mado. Kmmn, did you notico
how ho snid grnco to-night? It wns
"Thnt remnrk of his nbout tho dig
nity of truth was renlly fluo," said
Psnltcr. "You may bo right, after all,
"And ho is bo kind to tho children,
nnd ho very amiable," said I. " I nm
suro wo shall bo delighted with him."
And wo walked on together in tho most
Tho concert over, we returned homo,
wlion, to our gient surprise, wo found
tho children still up, nnd in tho parlor.
"It is not my fault, muni," said Bid
dy, when I spoko to her nbout it. " Tho
young gintlemnn got up nftcr you was
gono, nud hns been playin' with 'em nil
tho evenin' ; nnd ho sent mo out for
candy for 'em ; and then, when tho fun
was over, ho rend 'em a chapter, nnd
bade 'em say their pruyers, for all tho
world ns if ho wcron minister."
" Oil I " said Funny, " he is so sweet I"
Thoy talked about Mr. Alberts nil tlio
timo thoy wero undressing, and their
admiration confirmed mo in my opinion.
Children always have such penetration I
Tho noxt morning wo all aroso ns usu
al, but Mr. Alberts did not innKe his np
ponrnneo, and Uiddy informed mo thnt
ho hnd requested her not to arouso him
if ho Bhould bleep lato, as ho never took
brenltfust, and was very much fatigued
by his journey. Sol cautioned tho chil
dren to keep quiet, nnd wo snt down to
tho table without him. After breakfast
tho gentlemen started for their places of
business, and everything proceeded as
usunl until noon; but still Mr. Alberts
did not mnko his appearance, and I be
gan to feel rather surprised.
It was about noon when two men,
stout nud stnlwnrt, nnd wrapped in huge
greatcoats, knocked at tho basement
door, and, before nny ouo had time to
open it, stepped into tho entry.
"Ileg your pardon, ma'am," said the
first inun " beg your pardon, but is
tliero any gentleman by tho name of
Bcmggin boarding hero?"
"No, sir," I replied. x
"Nor any ono named Phillips?" in
quired tho man.
" No, sir."
" Pcihaps his name is Alberts," said
Ute other, stepping forward,
" There is u gentleman named Alberts
at present iu tho house," I replied,
"Ah I then will you be kind enough
to nsk him to step down a minute?" said
tho Hut speaker.
Certuinly if jou will walk into tho
parlor I will call him," 1 sid.
Accordingly, tho two mon proceeded
to tho tloor above, while I bent liiddy to
Bummou Mr. Albcits. After a great
deal of knocking, sho returned with tho
information that sho could not nmko him
" And w hot is more, mum," sho con
tinued, " tho window out onto tho roof
of the shed is open, and tho curtains
blow-in' out of it, and it seems us tLough
there was no 6ue iu it at all,"
"Take my word for it that tho room
is empty the bird has flown," suid tho
" Wo must unlock the door and make
sure, however," said tbo'secoud.
I stood there in perfect astonishment
as they prououuesd thc-o wordj, and
placed, at the same time, two stars upon
tho bosoms of their coats, " What
could it all mean ?" I thought,
""iou loot "iVurpi bed, ma'am," wild
tho first policeman. "I suppose that
Mr. Alberts came the i:ood. iutcrlectooal
ktud of body over you, didu't ho 1 said
his prayers, like a good boy, and all
"He certainly seemed a my good
perbou," I replied. "lufact, 1 soo no
reason to believe him otherwise,"
"No?" replied tho man. "Je.it look
round aud soo if you niiag anything. It
is curium it jou fi.'.n t.
"Miss nny thing?"
" "YH tllftfltrt If APA t-M, .ntfnln.1
your silver, or seen your jowelry IhN '
moftiing?" said the man.
Oh, what a start the words gavo mo I '
I flow into tho back parlor, for, bo it
known, that in certain drawers of tho
book-enso I- kept my Bilvcr forks, my
surplus inonoy nnd sovornl nrticles of
jowelry. The drawers wero closed. I
tried them, Tlio locks wero broken,
nnd tho contents gouo ; and Mr. Albeit I
tho nminble, virtuous, pious Mr. Al
berts wns tho thief I
It wai his particular forto bo tho
policeman told mo to impose himself
Ukm itersoiis who advertised for boarders,
ns n conscientious young man, and, nfter
insinuating himsolf ns deeply ns post!
bio into their confidence, to tnko French
lenvo in compnuy with their vnlunbles,
1 discovered afterward thnt during Bid
dy's absence for tho purpoeo of Imyinii
enndy, Fanny hnd innocently rovcnled
to him tlio content of tho book-enso
drawers, bo thnt his task wns rcndciod
Oh, how I felt I how provoked I wn
with myself I But, between you nnd
mo, it was a great consolntion to know
that wo woro all in tho Bamo box ul
though John, who oxpressod such nu
exalted opinion of tho muinblo Mr.
Alberts, declared that ho hnd not been
deceived for ono momont.
It was a still greater consolation to
get our forks back again, however, nnd
to reccivo tho news that Mr. Alberts
was n resident of Sing Sing, which wo
did in less than a fortnight.
P. S. I havo como to tho unnlternblo
resolution novor ngain to ndvortiso for a
singlo gentleman to board.
TltK QUKKX AND THE DOVTORH.
By the unwritten yet immutablo laws
of tho Spanish court no ouo but n Span
ish physician can attend tho Queen of
Spain. When tho illness of Queen Mer
cedes became desperate her doctors
called in their German collcaguo in con
sultntion, but told him that ho must
prcscribofor Donna Mercedes without
Bceing her on thoir report of tlio symp
toms and condition only. Dr. Kisbert
declared that it was essential for him to
oxamino tho patient before ho could in
dicate wliatremedieswouldbo efficacious.
This, however, could on no nccount bo
permitted. Ho then suggested that he
might bo allowed to seo her through
Botuo opon door or window without ap
proaching her or even entering the Bick
rooin. That concession, too, was re
fused. "Then, gentlemen, I can do
nothing," was tho reply. "I nm willing
to prescribe, but I can hardly do so with
good effect without personally inspect
ing tho patient." Ho wroto a proscrip
tion and then left tho pnlncc. Three
days lutcr tho fair young Queen was
dead, hut the laws of Spanish court
otiquotto remained intact.
Suicides in Franco during tho Inst
thirty years hnvo increased with nlnrm
ing rupidity. Tho porceutago is 78.
From 1851 to 18C5 the records show
that tho annual nverngo number was
U,C3l), or ono for overy 0,833 inhabitants.
Returns for recent years place tho an
nual number at 0,100, which is ouo sui
cide for every 5,101 inhabitants.
A Pennsylvania woman, who leaped
upward to hang nu urticla of clothing up
on a hook in the ceiling of her kitchen,
caught a ring ou one of her Angers in
the hook and hung there, hor feet not
touching tho ground. Her cries brought
assistance, nud sho was released, pain
fully wrenched but not Boriously
Wiikn six youug ladies sit down to
talk nbout n dress pattern, a Email boy
with u tiu horn is a refuge for the weary.
New York J 'oat.
An lown pig mado his noou-day meal
oil a wallet containing 2,000. Every
Ciuut was worth S100.
Everyman is occasional')- what lie ouget to
TALttM OT TUB MB A.
The writer was standing with soma
friends on a cliff between Placcntla and
St. Mary's bays. There waa no breeze
and the sea waa quiet. Within a few
minutes the surface ot tho water became
alive with cod and lesser fish nnd while
tho members of tho party were endeavor
ing to find an explanation of the odd oc
currence a whalo came up near the cliff.
The huge fellow's jaws were agapo aud
spouting a column of spray like a gey
ser. Something was tho matter with
him. He evidently waa trying to get
away, and his struggles had frightened
tho smaller creatures round nbout. As
tho whale drew near the shore tlio men
suw tho tins and formidable weapon of a
large Bwnrd-tlsh nud a momont later a
tlurasher, or fox-shark, fastened him
self on the monster's back. The sword
fish waa piercing the whole below, driv.
ing him to the burfuco, and the thrasher
was giving it to him from above, seeking
10 drive him below. When tho thrasher
struck his huge antagonist the nouud
was a dull thud, and when, missing Ids
aim, ho hit tho water, tho sharp cruok
waa heard for a half mile. Tho waves
were beaten into foam, the whale trying
to ply hU tail upon his enemies ; but be
fore he could get his ungainly body into '
positiou they wero out of harm's way
and making a new attack tipjn an unex
pected quarter. The contest continued
so long that at tho point of battle the
sea was colored with blooJ, but tha
whale escaped tically, and the last aeeu
of kiu he waa blowing iu triumph tite
miles off the coast, Many fishing erewa
rowed to the scene of tlio action aud
vert) excited witneaaes of what th.y de
m cunuin u juu W..11 1. ciaretl to bo ido moil uiiluue sDeelaeU
clared to bo tho' most utilqilo spectacle
of their adventurous livos.
When tho Cyprian was wreckod on
the coast of Wales a few weeks ago, the
200 people who stood horror-stricken
along tho shoro saw on act of heroism
raroly witnessed under any circum
stances. The Captain, John A. Strn
chan, of Livoriool, had told those on
board thai overy ono must look to him
self. Most of tho crow had dropped
ovorbonrd, nnd Cnpt, Htrachnn also
prepared to leap into the billowB. He
tied a lifo-bolt. about his waist and
mounted tho rail. At that moment ho
noticed tho palo face of a boy peoring
rom below docks. Tho lad was a stow
away. A few hours ago ho was a sneak,
nn unworthy thing, a miserable pilferer
of privileges ; but now tho skipporonly
remembered ho was a human being, to
bo savod, if possible, at any rato not to
bo loft behind. Without a word Oapt.
Strachnn unbuckled the lifo-bolt from
his waist and lashed It ship-shape upon
tho littlo stowaway, bidding hiii save
himself. "I can swim," said the Cap
tain ; " tako tho belt." Over tho side
wont tho stowaway, lifted upon the surf
liko a cork ; over tho sido went the Cap
tain, trusting, liko tho good, brave fel
low that ho was, to his strength, en
feebled with long watching and anxiety.
But swimming was impossiblo In suoh
a sea. The boatswain, struggling for
his own Hfo, caught at tho Captain, who
wns still making hoadway, and both
went down, novor to bo Been again,
while the littlo stowaway, with tho good
Captain's life-belt aboutyiis waist, was
flung upon tho Wolah coast, battered
about, but alivo to tell tho story of his
fato and his kind friond's heroism.
The law may bo a jealous mistress,
but she could not rotain tho affections
of a young Syracuse uttornoy who, nfter
a careful consideration of his own capa
cities and a computation of tho briefless
Inwyers of his ncquaintance, has yielded
to tho substantial, if not picturesque,
charms of a tailor's goose. He thinks
his chances for Congress hnvo been
somewhat impaired, but ho now expects
to secure a competency, and eventually
get to hoaven.
I venkhate old age ; and I love not
the mau who oan look without emotion
upon tho sunsot of life, when tho dusk
of evening bogins to gather over tho
watery eyo, and tho shadows of twilight
grow broader arfd despsr upon the un
derstanding. JAMAICA TUB ZAND OB PLBNTT.
In the woods tho soil literally, disap
pears beneath an inoxtricablo muss of
creepers, ferns and rare lichens and
mosses of a freshness and vigor of vege
tation almost incrediblo. The most ex
quisite, natural rockeries, overgrown
with raro plants, meet the eye nt every
turn. Tho gnarled roots and massivo
limbs of tho giant forest trees are draped
with quaint and beautiful parasites,
wnich fling their delicate flowor-gemmed
tendrils from branch to brunch and
droop in heavy, graceful sprays from
among tho dcnsely.folioged boughs.
Avalanches of hoary old men's beard,
and frightful, scaly snake-like looking
witches entangle tlio dead monarchs
of the forest, which cumber tho ground
in numbers, and beneath their sheltering
warmth tho most lovely littlo shells find
refuge. Trocatellas akitinos, and n
hundred others, all striped and barred
with beautiful rainbow tints, pale pink
and grey, amber and black, pure trans
parent white and somber brown, funny
littlo fungi (jungoes wo call them) grow
on the soft decayed wood of tho dead
trees. Big umbrelln-Bhaped fellows,
under whioh "dupios" (ghosts) aro
said to sit, and boautiful soft whitoones,
with prettily-crimped edges, which aro
awfully nioo to eat; whon boiled they
make the most delicious soup. Wo
havo no end of nice eatables growing in
our woods. Epicures go gastronomi
cally mad over our vegetable delicacies.
The mountain cabbage is a great favor
ite. This is a slender, grocoful palmetto,
and just between tho body ot
tho tree and plumo-like crown of Bcr
rated, leaves which graces tho extreme
top is a soft, whito heart, cozily nestled
between closely packed layers ot cool
green bark. This makes the most de
licious vegetable possible when boiled
and eaten with butter. It far exceeds
in delicacy and flavor any cabbage over
grown. The soup mado from it, too, is
just Bplendid, and the pickles aro too
lovely for anything. Tho rivers abound
in delicious fish, mountain mullet, cala
pevit (which from time immemorial pis
catory epieures havo extolled), cray fish
shrimps, eels, crabs and many others,
too numerous to meution. The seacousta
abound with turtle, great and small ;
manatee or the far-famed soa-cow, lob.
stem, oysters, conch and mussels of all
descriptions. Delicious fruits grow
wild overywhoro. The Avocado pear,
the guava, tlio shaddock, the Tangerine
orange, tho Spanish lime, tho cashew,
the musk and water melon, the passion
flower oup, the granadilla and ever so
tflir WM MB BAMLT.
Borne ot tho reasons why men catch
cold and find premature graves :
Living uine-teutlis of their days in the
bouse ; breathing house air ; lleachlng
in the house, and getting tliin and sal
low in the house. Sitting down to eat
tired and perspiring, and then wonder
ing why uothiug " touches the right
spot " ami one's food seems to do no
Hnaking and crubbinp oneself to
death in daily hot baths.
Taking a health paper and trying (a
live up to ita direeiioas.
Going to bed hungry. "ntwnrr rrsiod
with an Idea Hint it's titilicuitliy to rat
A black benr in Idaho undertook to
hug n young lady, nnd sho punched out
ono of Ills eves with her narnsnl. Hrm
'for tho girl I Sho's ready to protect n
man's rights from infrlngemejit, when
ho isn't thoro to do it himself. Hotton
TliKnE is no fountain which tho nngol
of henling troubles with his restless nnd
lifo-giving wings so constantly ns tho
fountain of tenrs, nnd onlv thoso too
1 Intno nnd bruised to batho miss tho
Theub are 1,000 drnm shops kopt by
women iu Now York city. Only one of
tho number is n nntivo American.
When any good happens to any one,
a HKKr.Ktsa ace.vjf.
Probably ono of tho meanest stago
tricks that was over played was played
on Mary Anderson. It will bo remem
bered thnt, iu tho play of " Ingomar,"
Pnrtlionin and the barbarian hnvo sev
eral lovo scenes, whero thoy lop on oaoh
other nnd hug some that is, not too
much hiigging.but just hugging enough.
Ingomnr wenrs a hugo fur garment,
mndo of lion's skin, or something, One
day ho noticed thnt tho moths were got
ting into it, nnd ho told his servant to
seo nbout tlio moths nnd drivo them
out. Tho servant got some insect jkiw
der nnd blow tho hnir of the gnrment
full of it, nnd sciubbed tho inside of it
with benzine. Ingomar put it on just
before ho went oiullio stage, und thought
it didn't smell just right, but ho hnd no
timo to inquire into it. He hnd not got
fairly into his positiou before Pnrthnnia
enmo out on u hop, sMp and jump, and
throw herself nil over him. She got
ouo lung full of insect powdor nnd tho
other full of beiiRii.c, nnd ns she said,
"Wilt always lovo me, Tngomar?" sho
dropped her head over his shoulder and
snid in nn nsido "For the lovo of lieavon,
what hnvo you been drinking?" and
then sho sneezed a couple of times. In
gomar hold her up tho best ho could,
considering thnt his noso wns full of
insect powder, nnd hu nnswered, "I
wilt," and then ho said to her quietly
"Dnm-flnowhnt.it is that smells so."
Thoy went on with tho play between
sneezes, nud when the curtain went
down she told Ingomar to go out nnd
shako himself, and he did. It was no
ticed in the next net that Ingomar had a
linen uMor 'on, nnd Mary snozo no
moro. New York Mercury.
Pihntino from blocks was invented
about tho year 1422 ; printing from let
ters cut separately on wood, in 1438 ;
printing from letters cut separately on
metal, iu 1150; printing from letters
wt in molds, in 1400.
WHAT IB IXBBTIA?
Inortia is that property which renders
a body incapablo ot putting itself in
motion when at rest, or coming to rest
whon in motion. When a stationary
body begins to move, or a moving body
oomos to rest, it is not through any 1
power of its own, but because it is acted
on by some external agency, v.'liieh wo
call a force. That no inanimate body
can put itself in motion is evident from
our daily experience. Tho roeka that wo
saw on tho earth's surface ton years ago
are to-day in precisely tho snmo place
as they then were, and thoro they will
remain forever unless some forco re
moves them. It is equally truo, though
not quita so obvious, that a body once
in motion cannot of itself oeoso to move.
Tho earth rovolvcs on its axis, tho heav
enly bodies movo in their orbits, just as
thoy did at tho timo ot the creation ;
they have no power to Btop. It is truo
that on the surface of the earth a mov
ing body gradually comes to rest whon
the forco which put it in motion ceases to
act ; but this is owing to tho rosistauco
of tho air and a force which draws it
toward the center of the earth not to
any agency of its own. Romovo all ex
ternal forces, and tho inortia would keep
it moving on in a straight lino forever.
It is in conscquonco of inortia that a
horse has to strain hard at first to movo
a load, which, when it is onco in motion,
ho con draw with ease. A cur, through
its inertia, coutinues moving after tho
locomotive is detached, Through in
ertia a person standing erect in a sta
tionary boat or wagon is thrown back
ward it it suddenly shuts; his feet,
touching the bottom, am carried for
ward with it, whilo his body, by its in
ertia, does not partake ot tlio onward
motion and falls backward. So, a per
son standing erect in a boat or wagon
that Is moving rapidly is thrown for
ward it it auddenly stops ; his foot ccaso
to move at once, whilo his body odii- '
tinuea in motion in consequence of its
inertia, and falls forward. '
WUATA BTAKUlNa.VOLLAU DID,
All things are fair, so it is generally
thought, in war, in a horse trade and in I
a law case. It b probably on that bad
rule that the late President Lincoln act
ed when ho defeated an antagonist boforo
a jury. The anecdote is thus told by
He wm often pitted against eminent
lawyers during trials in Sangamon Coun
ty Circuit Court. On ono occasion he
waa opposed by a very able advocate,
who made a powerful, eloquent and ecn-'
visaing speech to the jury, and Mr. Lin
eota saw that it bad been very elective
on the minds of the jury. The gentle
man, moreover, was a man who waa very
peaUe in bis dreae, w well ae manner
Rot Mr. Lincoln had beea observing
Mm d saw law in hi ujually fault-
less nttiro. "Uontlemcn of tho Jury,"
Bnid "Old Abo," when ho nroso to
flpenk, "tho gentleman who has just
BoKcn lias mado a strong argument,
! Ho hns quoted tho law nnd evidence,
, nnd It is not for mo to say that ho Is
I wrong. Ho mny bo corrcct'In all ho has
i said. But I want you to tnko a look nt
mm. Ijook especially at his upper hnlf,
and then, gentlemen, tell mo if any mnn
who comes before you with his standing
collar buttoned 'wrong end to,' with tho
points sticking nwny out bohind lilj
enrs, may not bo altogether mistaken In
his nrguments ?"
Tlio plan was successful, Mr. Lincoln
hnd broken tho Bpell which tho olo
quenco of his opponent hnd thrown ovor
MATTnr.w Aii.vor.i) says: "Sanity
thnt is tho great virtue of tho nncicut
lltoraluro ; tho wnnt of that is tho great
defect of tho modern, iu spito of nil Its
vnrioly nnd irawer. It is imossihlo to
rend carefully tho great nnclents with
out losing Fometliimr of our cturlen nn,1
J eccentricity, nnd to cmulnto them wo
. must at least rend thorn."
PiiCFESSon in psychology " Can wo
conceive of anything ns being out of
tiinn find still occupying space ?" Mu
sical ntudent (thoughtfully) "Yos, sir;
a poor Biugar iu a chorus."
It goes against tho groin to gamble in
oorn and wheat
An election, like a circus, is gonorslly
carried on under a canvass.
When a girl rejects an offer of mar
riago sho goes tlstough a slight-oMiand
TnE mnn who was "rookod in the
cradlo of tho doop " must havo slopt be
twoen shoots of water.
An ndvorliscr in Texas calls for " un
industrious man, ns a boss hand over
5,000 bond of sheep, that can speak
"MAHRtAOE," said an unfortunate
husband, is tho churchyard of lovers.
"And you mon," replied his wifo, "aro
Why is pnpor monoy moro valuable
than coin? Bccnuso yon double it when
you put it in your pocket, and when you
tako it out you find it increases.
Sailors frequently mutiny for an in
crease in their allowance of grog, and
bread riots aro of common occurrence,
but tho only striko for water on record
was when Moses smote tho rock.
Atoono widow wns askod why bug
was going to wed so soon after tho death
of her first husband. "Oh, la I" said
sho, " I do it to provcut fretting mysoll
to death on account of dear Tom 1"
"I'r, go if I seo fit I" was tho excla
mation of Mrs Tweezers, as her husband
demurred at horattoudiug a ball; "I'll go
if I bco fit." " Very well, then ; you'll
seo fits if you go 1" was tho crusty ro
ply. T. " Wininn is Blcck Island?" Polite
American "In Khodo Island." T.
" But how can you put ono island in an
other islaud?" P. A." Oh, that's
nothing. Wo accomplish anything in
A Yankee woman recently married a
Chineso laundryman, and in three days
thereafter tho happy Celestial appeared
at a harbor's shop and ordered his pig.
tail cut off, saying in explanation:
When a Boston girl is presented with
nbouquet sho says: "Oh, howdolicious
ly sweet! Its fragrance impenetrates
tho entiro atmosphere of tho room." A
"Down East " girl simply says: "It
smells scrumptious ; tannics, Iteaben."
Fostoffiob clerk : "Hero I your let
ter is over-weight." Pat; "Over what
weight?" Postofllco clerk: "It's too
heavy ; put another stump on it." Pat:
" Och, git out wid yor foolln' 1 Sure if I
put another stamp on, won't it bo hcav
" ANTTHiNonow?" asked a reporter
of an acquaintance.. Yos, tho heaviest
kind of on item. Seo that window up
there?" The reporter nodded. " Well,"
said the man, "in that room is the new
oat thing in town; a boy baby; just
bom; doctor just gono. You can't find
a fresher item."
A UilD, u bj court racordt doth apa-a
Whom M,0QO mida ao dear,
Uuto bar wajtlna lover aUrolj aald I
" Forago tba ad Ufora wa 0 to wad.
For fmoko Uka Suu. I'll U Uut aUnia't brtiV
To havo our Anna, glva up your lUiana."
Tha wretch, whan taut aba brought bin to Iht
Lit hit cigar tnd threw twajr tha match.
"AB tho stylo of beauty of our
American girls," said Mrs. Clover to the
Gorman nobleman at the Ocean House,
Newport; "what do you thin of it,
Baron ?' "Fell, I was full mid enthu
slastics, Mrs. Glober, and neffer dinks
dot stylo was bossible. Do you know
tho name of a good shoemaker ? I half
a hole mit de toe off my boot."
"Did you observe that woman?" said
a gentleman to a companioa, as a sharp
featured female swept haughtily by
them. The friend nodded to indleate
that he had observed her, "Well, I'm
indebted to her for the chief happineaa
of my life." "Indeed; I can ' nrrt
the gratitude you feel toward bar,"
'No you can't; only her prseeat baa
jaad can do that. Ten yeeta ao X
eked her band in marriage and aba re
taaedme." The highest as well as the uoblest trail
in human nature is love to God.
Tim art of praising caused the art oa
fiotrito irizn oats.
Tlio most magnificent specimen ot
young manhood that I havo over known
was n young fellow student named Hen
ry Haines. As an nthlcto on tho campus,
ns n scholar in tho school-room, ns an
orator in tho nrctin of dobnto, ho wns
fncllo princops, overywhoro nnd nlwnys.
Wo wero not so much envious of him ns
proud of him, nnd wo fondly fnncled that
tliero could 1)0 no height of fnmo or fort
uuo too dlfllcult for his adventurous foot
to climb, and thnt tho timo would como
when ho would (111 tho world with tho echo
of his fame, nnd it would bo n proud thing
for nny of us to declare thnt wo hnd known
lliim. A littlo tendency to dissipation
was by sonio of us obsorvnblo n liltlo
dash of dnro-doviltry but this was only
tlio wild-oat nowing which wns natural
to youth and genius, and which wo did
not doubt that after years would chasten
But tho years enmo and tho years
wont, and tho young collegians wero
scattered through tho world, nnd ever
nnd nnon would some of us wonder whnt
could hnvo become of Henry Haines.
Wo looked in vain for his rising Btar,
and listened long for his coming feet.
Soma timo ngo, for a Binglo Snbbnth, I
wns preaching in Now York. My themo
in tho morning hnd been "Tho Ghost of
Hurled Opportunity." On my wny to
my hotel I discovered that I wns "shnd
owed" by n dcspernto-looking wretch,
whoso gnrb, whoso gait, whoso battered,
bloated look nil unmistakably betokened
tho spawn of tho slums. Whnt could
the villain want with mo? I paused at
my door, and faced alwut to confront
him. Ho paused, ndvnuced, nnd then
huskily whispered : " Henson, do you
know mo?" I assured him I did not,
whereupon ho continued, "Do you re
member Honry nnines?" "Ayo, nyo,
well enough, woll enough, but surely
you nro not Henry Hnincs?" "I nm
whnt is left of him I nm tho ghost of
him." I shuddered ns I reached for his
hand, and, gazing intontly into his fnco,
discovered still somo traces of my long
lost friend, still doubly lost, though
found again. I put my arm about him
'in brotherly ombraco, and drow him to
my room, nud drow from his lips tho
sad story of his shattered life. I beggod
him by tho old loves nnd unforgottcn
memorios of bettor days to go back with
mo to my Philadelphia homo, and, un
der now auspices and with now sur
roundings, to striko out for a noble des
tiny, which I hoped might still bo pos
sible. But, striking his clenched fist on
my tnble, ho Bnid: " Henson, it's no uso
to talk to mo. I'm a dead-beat, and am
dead broke. I'm a burnt-out volcano,
nnd there's nothing left of mo but cin
ders now. I havo como to Now York to
bury myself out of sight of nil thnt ovor
loved me, I know tho ropos here, and
nhall stay hero till I rot, I livo in u
muskrat holo near tho wharf. I shall
dio as I havo lived, nnd I havo lived liko
In vain wero my earnest protests and
brotherly pleading. Ho toro himself
from mo, and went shambling off to his
don by tho wharf.
Ho had sown tho wind and was reap
ing the whirlwind. Ho had sown to tho
flesh, and was reaping corruption. Ho
had sown "wild oats," and tho onts woro
now yielding a dread harvest of woo.
Jtcv. P. S'. Jlcnton, of Chicago.
Says a social critlo : " Women aro all
moro or less born actresses ; tho first
word with most of them is, ' How will
it look ?' Thoy know that their protty
protonso of fireside necdlowork looks
very woll to their admiring frieuds aud
oven to their husbands. Thoy know
that its moaning is understood and ac
cepted." Yoo never got to the end of Christ'
.words. Thoro is something in them al
ways behind. They pass into proverbs,
thoy pass into laws, thoy pass into doo
trines, thoy puss into consolations ; 'but
thoy novor pass away, aud after all the
uso that is made of thorn thoy aro still
not exhausted. Dean IHanlty.
TUB XAHTKHff MKNTIMKM TUWABO
While this system is spreading and
being daily strengthened, while some
thing is going ou in Utah which, if left
exclusively to itself, would, in a genera
tion, bring women to tho auction block,
and utterly brutalize mon, tho pooplo of
tho East do uot sociu to bo greatly wor
ried. Though thu Gentiles of Utah
novor wronged tho Mormons, though
they have given to Utah its prosperity
and accumulated wealth, though they
own quite two-thirds ot tho property of
tho Territory, and though thoy have
never asked anything of tho Mormons
exoept that thoy obey the laws, still the
sentiment of tho East is that thoy are a
predatory sot, and that tho Mormons aro
entitled to peculiar aud tender considera
tion, because, when their presence and
customs; had become intolerable to the
people among whom they dwelt, they
started out into tho wilderness and es
tablished a thriiing Territory,
While doing this the Mormons have
shrunk from no crime, recoiled at no
falsehood, havo murdered and robbed
Americana in secret and laid the crime
to sa rages, and still, while despoiling
Americana, have shed crocodile tears
ver their own extreme suSeringa. They
have disobeyed and derided the laws,
and still oontinue to do ao; they have
insulted and driven away United Statea
oaaeUle for no ofcase except that of try
ing to do their 'duty under their oaths,
and all thia baa been performed by the
ofdera of lew than tMrty men, who, in
the meantime, have absorbed ao aweh
of tU earnings of the people that they
poaaeea more money and propeat khan
Worse thnn nil, tllcy hnvo ngntn forged
tho chains of nn ignominious slavery on
the wrists of women; whnt thoy call
their religion offers n perpetual premium
for men's lusts; their teaching, kill tha
germ of chastity in tho henrta of child
hood boforo it is over warmed info life,
and destroy thojicnor nnd sacredncss of
Tlio mon of tho East should considor
llioso things, nud should re ember thnt
onco boforo thoro was an Institution In
this country around which thero wns n
shlold of sympathy ; it divino rights
woro tieciarod rrom n thousand pulpits ;
Congress was loo sordid and too coward
ly to deal with it ; wholesalo merchants
nnd great corporntio'ns lent their Inilu
enco to poriMilunto It, nnd n vonnl press
rang with nnathemns ngainst nny who
darod to denounce it. Hut thoro enmo
n day at Inst whon men hnd to chooio
which should llvo nnd rulo, that Institu
tion or this ntion.
Tho history of whnt followed is fresh
in nil minds ; nnd,, liltlo n tho mosses
bollovo it now, thoro will como n timo,
if this monster in Utah I loft to grow,
whon thero will be nnothor cnll for vol,
nntccrs nnd for monoy; nud, n boforo,
tens of thousands of brnvn ynnnrr men
will go nwy, never to return ; n l,.,foro,
thero will bonn enormous debt Incurred'
ns boforo, the country will bo hit
locked with grave, and tho whole laud
will bo moistened by tho r.iiti of worn
cn't (ears. C. C. Goodwin, in ur
A xr.ir ni.iixrr.OTAjtT.
Tim now disinfoctnnt which Ins como
Into Mich considerable uso in England,
on account of its proved oflicaoy, is
prepared ns follows : Ilussinn lurpeiitlno
and wutor aro placed in hugo oartlion
waro jars, surrounded by hot wntor; nir
is driven through tho mixturo in 'tho
jars continually for 1100 hours, tho i ult
of this being a decomposition of the
tin pontine and tho formation of n pecul
iar watery solution. After evaporation,
tho substance is placed iu tin cans ; it
is described ns being a light browi pow.
dcr, of a very plensant taste nnd odor, is
not poisonous nor damaging in nny ro
speot, nnd is capable in a very vomnrk
ablo degree of preventing or arresting
" Gettino married hns its hazards aud
perils," Bays tho Chicago Inter Ocean.
Yes; n fellow cnu't bo dead suro how
!'"" trie old man will support him.
Tlicrc is a great art it knowing how tc
without creating an obligation.
A ROOND-Tnir ticket A ball check.
Poon whisky makes rich divorco
Many a bold follow has beou bowled
out by tho " flowing bowl."
The young girl who dropped a basket
of eggs whilo flirting mndo a mash.
TnE man who was itching forofllco
wns elcctod ; but it wns by n scratch.
Said tho lecturer: "Tho roads up
llioso mountains nro too steep nnd rooky
for oven n donkey to climb ; therefore,
I did not attempt tho nscont."
A FOIITUNATK follow : FoBR SOVS his
friend Pingry is so Blow, that ho novor
entchen cold nud couldn't get within
hailing distance of tho Blowcst of slow
An old mnn of 80 died nt Staton island
whilo waitiug for tho hour appointed for
his wedding. Nothing straugo in this ;
lots of old fellows dyo in anticipation of
Toots thinks thero should bo four
ghosts in tho piny of "Hamlet," quot
ing in support of his thoory a lino from
Gray's elegy : " Tho mdo four fathors of
tho Hamlet sloop,"
A Chinaman named On Tick is about
to start a laundry in Detroit. This will
Icavo no reasounblo excuse for any ouo
to fuil to nppcnr in a clonu shirt ou Sun
days. Free Press.
BcnooLMisTitiws (just beginning a
nioo improving lesson upon minerals to
tho juniors): " Now, what aro tho priu
cipal thing wo got out of tho enrth?"
Youthful anglor, ngod -1 (oonUdontly):
A uentleuan, in convcrsntion with a
lndy, vaunted the grnco-nnd wit of a
now acquaintance whom ho hod mot at a
wateriiig-placo. "Is sho protty?" askod
tho lady, " Not bo bad," ho answered ;
" indeed, sho resembles you somewhat
A sciiooiTEAOiisrt askod, "What bird
is largo enough to carry off a man?" '
Nobody know, but ouo littlo girl sug
gested "n lark." And then sho ex
plained, "Mamma snid pupa wouldn't
bo homo uutil Monday, bocauso he had
gono off on a lark."
BunDAr-scnooL teacher (about to com
ment on St. Paul's direction for conduct
of men and women during divino service) :
" Now, do you know why women do not
tako off their bonnets in church?" Small
boy: "'Cos thoy alu't got looking- ,
glasses to put 'cut on ugain by,''
Said Mrs. Smith, who hail come to
spond tho day, to Littlo Edith ; "Aro ,,
you glad to seo mo ugain, Edith?"
Edith "Yos, m'm, and mamma's glad,
tool" Mrs. Smith "la she?" Edith
"Yes, m'm ; sho sold she hoped you'd
como to-day, and havo it ovor with."
"I just wont out to soo a friend for a
moment," remarked Jones to his wifo as
he returned to Ids seat in tho theater,
"Indeed," roplied Mrs. J. with sarcastic
surprise, I supposed, from tho odor of
your breath, that you had been out to
see your worst oneiny." Jones winced.
Orrr belio (meeting country aunt)
" Ob, I'm so glad to soo. yon I Come
and seo us noxt week, do, for I'm going
to have a German on Thursday," Aunt
(with seventy)-Not I, child, 1 don't
want to see any one of the family that's
going to make a fool of herself by mar
rying a foreigner," ,
Said tha teaeher ; " Aud it ease to
paas when King HeseklaU heard it that
he rent his dothes.' .Now. what data
that mau, ehUdtwa 'be rewt bis
olothe?"' And aboywiUieleifftawoth
er said it waa "kt4iiig a f4low have Mm
use of ' for a few dollam, aa frrthtr
Dave did with his ukter Usiapriu
mA aw wiahea be hadn't,'