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L i Island Hews
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SATISF ACTOR V
JVhon in need of Printing
pi any kind
By 0. B Robctnuii
It was a midsummer morning or
daui, in the year 177(, at tho time
.vheu a fierce war wti3 raging be
tween Kahekili, ehiel of Maui, and
:alaniopnu. eltief of Hawaii. Fron
-lie brow of the clilT overlooking the
alley of the Iao i Ivor, above thr
spot where Wniluku now stands, r
"oiilinuolts forest spread across tin
Ireary wuldcs of land lying betweci
tao river and the tidewaters ol
tlualaea Buy. The boa, ohih.
na:nane and kukui trees interlaced
Iheir branches, making a continuous
and grateful shade through wlucl
wound fool-pall s a thousand years
i!d. from the tr.ro patches of lao
vallev to the fishing grounds of
At a point on the cliff overlooking
fro valley, just where the land which
slowly rises from Kahuhu Hay sud
denly soars aloft into the mists higl
above the valley, there stood a group
of Jlnui chiefs, in the midst of whom
r.-ah their great leader, Kuhekili.
Back of them, the valley wound
like a great, green ribbon till it was
lost in the mists far up the stream.
The sea, restless and white, rolled
it their feet and Halcakala lifted its
somber head ten thousand feet above
them. In sericd ranks along the
valley at their feet, stood bands of
armed warriors from AVaihce.
Makawno and Iao valley.
"Has ivnlaaulei. my messenger,
returned from LahainaV asked Ka
hekili of the chiefs who stood near him
Not vet. great chief." was the
reply, and one of his kahunas
addcd;'fporhapsthe smiles ofNaleilani
bind hmi as with cords." Even while
he spoke a shout of welcome arose,
and the next instant a lithe and hand
some vouug chief bounded into their
midst and stood before Kahekili.
Your message;" briefly deinatidpd
the old chief.
'The men of Lahaiua say the canoes
of Kalaniopuu darken tho waters
from ilak.cna to Maalaea, and that
if they come to help you, their wives
ind child-en will ho slain."
"What saw yen from the paliovcr-
1 oking the sea as you came?" tisjccd
Kahekili of the messenger.
"I came not by the sea;" replied
Kalaaulei; "WJien the sun Jfjssed the
highest hill on Lanai, I began to run
up the mountain, and by great leaps
I came down from the mists, fol
lowing the flow of the lao till it
laughed among the taro patclvos, of
A murniur Pf indignation ran
among the group at the news brought
by KalaauLei. "The people, of
Lahaina arc all women!" 'hoy cried.
Audithc Kahuna who hadhinled that
Kulnauloi had lingered to drkil; the
smiles of Naleilani, gruffly asked
Kalaaulei why he had not remained
with them and helped theni nurso
their babies. Kalaaulei, stung by
the qutstion, turned to the man and
briefly replied; "Because the men
of Iao cry like children for help which
they do not need, I came back to
wipe away their tears with my mulo."
"What say you?" cried Kahekili in
a voice full of anger; "do you children
ncod to give hoarts to my warriors?"
Suddenly taking his great yellow
robe of feathers from his own shoul
ders, he threw it about the form of
the j oung clue. Then lie took off his
cacpio wrought in richly barbarous
fashion and placed it on the head of
"We aro women, then; perhaps
you aro the one to save us?" asked
Kalaaulei stood undaunted before-
tho angry eyes of his chief, and
proudly mut his gaze. And, dressed
in royal iiiigmu, he Ul cd as ono
born to command, even
dawn of yp.uth on his face.
'If it were given me to command, "
replied Kalaaulpi, "I would not stand
here shivering, but would go and
take the Alapa like mice in traps."
'Then be it so;" replied Kuhekili,
who was really a great man at heart,
and who could not help, even m his
mger, admiring the fearless mien cf
the yo .ng m n.
"Ciiefs." ho cried," "Kalaaulei
(hall lead you to battle; fall on
your faces befoic him!"
In an age and with a people to
.vhom disobedience meant death, the
command was instantly obeyed, and
the chief.'? fell at the feet of Kalaaulei,
.ho gazed at his master to see if he
neant it. In the proud eyes of Ka-
.ckili ho "read confirmation .of this
.vords, and his heart swelled witn
at the honor thus conferred on
suddenly he called two trusted
nen to him and in the ear of each he
whispered a message. The two incli
sprang away toward Maalaea Bay,
one. following the edge of the hills, the
other skirting the lower valley. The
purpose of these messages became
ovident later in the day.
"Chiefsl" cried "the Kalaaulei'
Alapa have laid their canoes to sleep
on the sands of Maalaea, and because
they met no warriors to redden the
brim of the sea with their blood, they
are coming to hunt you in the houses
of your wives. We will not wait here,
but will run to meet them at Waikapu
and greet them there. Chiefs of
Wailiee. lead your warriors along the
hills to tho waters of Waikapu and
lie down within hearing of the cross-
ing, above the hoiau. Chiefs of
Makawao, lead your men through
the sand hills, and lie down within
hearing of the crossing, below the
heiau. The Warriors of Iao will fol-
low me to the b'eiau, and when you
hear the warriors of Iao calling to
you with thp cry of wild geese, run
. , . i 1 1 . 1 1 ' I ' !ll
to us, lor ino uioou pi uic jviupu vin
then be flowing." . ,
His commands werp promptly
obeyed, and soon all was as quiet as
a midsummer night alonj the Iao
valley. In the meantime, the Alapa,
who were a band of eight hundred
)f Hawaii's noblest blood, and who
constituted tho flower of Kalaniopuu &
invading army, finding that they
were not met at the seashore by
tho Maui warriors, believed that they
were waited for in Iao valley, and
wound their way along the shaded
footpaths leading from Maalaea to
lao valley, bingmg, nesting, tossing
their spears, they advanced, a mag
nificent array of savage nobles,
skilled in all the arts of savage war
fare, and fearing nothing but their
gods and their chief. Now and then,
on their march, they found fishing
nets lving carelessly by tho side of
the path, and this furnished iunumer.-
able jests, among the wits; of thp war
"See!" cried ono; !fthP Maui
fishermen catch mullets among the
trees." "Hah!" cried another, they
nave heard that tue Alapa are
coming, and they have dropped their
nets as they ran."
Suddenly, as they were - crossing
the Waikapu the cry of the Hawaiian
wild gooso burst from a thousand
savage throats in front, answered by
like cries above and below the heiau
or nativo temple, near ny. scarcely
bad thev time, to "rasn their snoars
and war ciubs beforo Kalaaulei and
his men were among them. Taken
by surprise, they still managed to
meet and check the onslaught, but
soon the warriors hidden above- and
below the hoiau poured down on their
flanks, till like a great, brown so
pent, tlieir snniiereu lorces were
be 3 ten back toward Maalaea Hay
Every attempt to rally thorn was
rendered futilo by the skillfully hud
trap into' which they had -walked,
and soon tho battle was raging as a
scries of skirmishes,' in which tho
Alapa, overcome with nuinbors, fell
Hi uuu lis ueiuiu uiu oii-jais in uiu
I Ma ii warriors. At length, fu.ding
ksMJB&. -tmttmMj.. - lrTri'i ffTT1 rirrrsi'sTTTi'i -i Tinr- If Tni'i IfMilliMiMtiTaM iillwils stfTTriiTiiiiii ilift'fi- i
that their only safety lay in flight,
they attempted to run along the
paths to the sea. Then the result of
the two messengers which Kalaaulei
had sent earlier in the day became
apparent. The fish nets which lmd
moved tho Alapa to mirth on thei
advance, were to prove their com
plete destruction. For as soon as
they had passed t" oncts. a hundred
eager hands had i t uigthem across
the paths along whieh they must
retreat. Flying along these path?.
with the Maui warriors at their heels fl
they ran hondlnntr into tho nets, and
v o -
could neither go foward or back.
At every such net, a group or
Vlnpa stood, shoulder to shoulder,
and fought their lives away. Among
the last of tho survivors was their
leul a majest;c ci,ief wi10s0 mole
i,istoricul chant told of noble blood
m i,is velns.for a thousand ycr.rs. Ills
comrades m arms had fallen arounci
i,i,u until 10 stood alone.
-"Cowards!" he shouted to the Maui
warriors; come on to the feast which
i cooj- fm. you Kalaaulei, who
md approached, ordered his men
b;it.. iuul .mswcrcd tho chief;" "I
simll teach vou that one. Maui chic f-
jy moro than your mother will laugh
U0 i,avo y0u meet in single combat."
. i'ie Maui warriors drew back and
Kalaaulei advanced to meet his
f00i Each hurled his spear; which
wns deftly caught aikl tossed asul
by tbc other. Seizing their war clubi
they closed in on each other, an
Uhero followed a long and gallai
struggle, in which all the savage art
nntT skill of the trained warric
eame into play. The Hawaiian hai
the advantage in size and skill bu1
i,0 was weak with wounds and e.
haustion, and it soon became cvider
that it would be only a question of
short time before Kalaaulei's ski
and strength would scud tho 111
waiian to meet the shades of In
Wlillc the fight, raged between
. . . 1. P .1 J 1.
tnese two, ail eyes were uxeu on me
combatants, and as the strength of
the Hawaiian waned, Kalaaulei pre-
pared to doLvi' one final blow. Lying
just behind him was a wounded
Hawaiian, Tt'itf seeing the immiuent
danger of his chief, staggered to his
fact. Approaching Kalaaulei from
behind, he threw his arms around
hhn, pinioning his arms to his side.
Instantly his opponent grasped a
,pear lying on the ground beside him
nnd ijUl.;cd it in Kalaaulei's heart,
lyill, tho next moment, witli a grim
f milp of triumph on his lips and a
dozen Maui spears in his body.
Many war riois wove this batlloin
to their mclcs or chants, but none
without a proud allusion to the gal
hint Kalaaulei who had led them to
so glorious a victory. And ono women
sang a sad mole. Nalcilana, as she
bo thu of her lover far mva'
and hid it where it lias not been found
to this day, in order that his enemies
might not find his bones aud shape
them into arrows with which to shoot
mice,sang to the sighing winds of her
lovo for her hero lov l
Little Willie Sjay, pa, whot'a a re
dundancy of expression?
Ta Using; more words than nre
necessary to express ones meaning,
Biieli as "wealthy Iceman." "wealthy
plumber," etd. Chicago Nows.
Au author tilled out as follows a
... i. -. - .. in. .........
vevlow syndicates recently:
"Do you burn the midnight olir
"Yes when tho gas bills due."
"What time do you rise';"
"Whenever the bill collector knock
"Wiint is your dally exercise'!"
"Climbing trees to nvold the ballltr."
"When do you dine'"
"Whenever I can."
"Whnt la your chief study V
"How to pay tho rent, appease the
butcher, comfort the baker, silence the
rrrocorviimn and settle tho iras bUtt"
jt n Iiilinlriil Itnmor,
"IHd you say that I scattered money
right and loft In my campaigns"'" nsk-
ed Senator Sorghum.
"Well, somebody said it, nnd It was
a mighty mean trick. The llrst tiling
I know they'll have the people who
were going to vote for mie anyhow
n ,. n .,, ,ul.i ..,. im ilnn,
est uullot.!' Washlugtoa Star.
" QPELLING REFORM,
A Micrmm rat on tlie (juny.
TarUUng ot stlcrnoon tuoy.
When a Inly cme by
Who winked wllli one y
And whUpcrcd, "Ko sugar lor miay-
A man was committed to gaol.
For stealing a lenticnnj naol,
The Judge was femo .
And eae him one rero.
Without any option ot baol.
1 - 1 .1 I nn, n. n t IT f,l lltlWQtfon
Used to spend the whole day In his gairanJcO,
When his Iriends asltt him nhy,
lie lookt up at the iky,
Dut 6nly replied, "Dee your pawarden.
It Ii said that Nathaniel Fflenncs
r.hed wholly on bread and broad bblenw
When lmtted to eat
Hut a morsel ot meat,
He answered, "Just 'think what It mmlennesl
A thoughtful jounjr butcher named ilowU
Had a tender and sensitive sowll.
, When ho slauRhtcrc'd a theep.
He alwaj9 would weep . -
And pay for a tuiwral towll. , ..'
A sailor who sported a queue '."TA'"
Was civil to all that he Lnucos. j :t
It he came under fire, ' !. ,'
He used to retire
And say, with a b.w, "After nieu." .; .
The dovnp;er Puke of Ilucclcugh ;i
Was famous for lrWi Ueugh. '
When asked, "Do you use
Any onion In slusc!"
He cautiously answered, "A feusb." , .
A proom ot the royal demtsns '!
Was the finest old man ever eesne.
Hut he kept out of sight
In a ditch day and night !'.
Tor fear of annoying the qucsne. . ,', .
The amiable Commodore Halgh
Bet sail down the channel one daigh.
When askcu, "Do you know
Which direction to got"
He answered, "I'm feeling my walgK"
One autumn 'the Marquis of Steynes
Shot a parlridgo with Infinite peynee. .
Then he cried: "I'm afraid
Of the luiou.l've maldl
Sea only one fcathir reineynesl"
tc-vt.wi.ui lot of snobs up tho river
i season; much better set i.nst year,
l 111 101U.
She Vcs. Vou wcicu't up last year,
were you V Fun.
.Tliu Sontlincnt of the SmiK.
These Sougs of the sea nre very
Impressive," she exclaimed when tho
full chested bnrltouu had ceased war
"Vcs," answered the young man wlic
lacks poetry, "but they're misleading.
Vou get an Idea that after a man has
been In the navy awhile he goes around
singing about his home on the rolling
deep when everybody knows that If he
Is lucky his home will be right here In
Washington." Washington Star.
She Tell me, Franz, would you rath
er pay the bucher'a bill or pay for mj
lie The butcher's bill.
She Well, here It Is.
He What! Forty marks? Lot mo
have the items.
She For meat 1! marks, for my new
hat tho US marks thnt the .butcher lent
me,, making Just 40 marks! Fllegende
Mis. Voungwlfe I want to get some
Dealer Yes, ma'nm. How many
Mrs. Voungwlfe Oh, . gorvduess! 1
thought you tool: the bends '.A2. I Just
want plain chicken salad. Catholic
Standard and Times.
Held Up on tlie Train,
Passenger Give me threu of those
bananas, llow much?
Train Boy Fifteen cents.
Passenger (handing over the money)
You aro. not a,s spectacular as the
James boys used to be, young fellow.
but you do It nioro thoroughly. Chi
Fogg The boys at the club, are rath
er severe on Morton. They say he has
more money than brains.
Ilass I should call that a compli
ment from their point of view. They
could possibly have no use for a mau
with brains. Boston Transcript.
Ovcrliciird In tlie I'nrl;.
thirst Mirsc uin so you vo got a
Second Nurso Girl Yes.
"Do you llko It 7"
"Like It? Why. It Is right in front ot
a police station." Tammany Times.
A Tin I'or Dewey,
Btlklns What Is tho matter with
that dog of yours'' IIo looks poor.
Gllkius Indigestion. 1 call him
Dewey, nnd the neighbors havo been
overfeeding him. Ohio State Journal.
AltvuyH the Wronit Thluff.
"There's a trust now to control the
output of peanuts."
"Well, what we need Is a trust to
control the output of peanut shells."
Chicago Itccord. r.
l'oelry Editor nud Pacts Excepted.
A man must be patient with every.
bore who comes in. for the reason thatt
Iho man may some day nave $2,td'
rpeod wltd him. .itclilcu Ulobu, . Iu l
rt,e nrM'Rroom Wns In.llSt.nnt.aTia
Tl.....1 "d G"'1 CaX,ae
T)lo editor of tho WoomvUto Eagle
picked up his shcarsjind cnHcd:
"Pnmn fill" -
"Arc you Colonel Uocksleyr' asueu,
.... V.h -M..t inokiuc young man who
con I do for you?" '
t hovo come nero io w -fnctlon,"
said tho 'caller, producing p.
n.. npled copy of the Bloomvll lo Jtag
nnd pointing nt nu article on tlie nmk
nnno. "My aino s Sowdors-td Sow-
dors. I wns t""
flaughtcr of Major ;o.Hde,ter
...-.Ifll 1IICT Tlll'lll. LU U1U
"Vcs," said tne cimui, """r;"
H-lnte. Pouiething about the wedding.
v ....... .ii.i Mr. Sowder3 assented.
"That's why I am hero now. Jus
111 ..l nnd ro.ld t out
thnt paragrapu, ynwy., -,
loud." . . .
Colonel Kocksiey toot . ii-.
looked nt the pnrngrnpu to which bis
attention had been called and rend:
"The wedding tool; place nt tho homo
of the bride, where the happy couple
will reside until tna groom uu, .mU
,0"Well" tho editor explained, "I'm
sorry that got luto the paper. Of course
I wouldn't Intro permuuju ii. w
I hail seen It, but unfortunately I
i f timn to rend everything wo
print beforo It Is put In type. I con np-
nrcclnto your icciinss.
Aba I assure you that It Will give U3
pleasure to correct tue iimtim.
publish an Item saying that you aro
not going to live with the bride's par
ents. Will that be catlsfnctory?'
"Xo, sir; It won't," me unuiouui
declared with considerable emphasis.
"You evidently don't understuud tho
situation. It ain't what you say about
our living at the homo of the brldtfa
parents that mnucs mo num.
Insinuation thnt I want to And a job
that I object to."
The matter was compromised by tho
publication of tho subjoined verses In
the next number of Tho Eagle:
IHC JOT THAT UT, C1KX0T RSTUIttr.
There ure wrongs that can never be righted;
There are wouuos uiai e en uum mmw.
We snrak, and some fair hope Is bllghtad;
... . I 1... . ...All t
V, orus orr arc more ucaui iiwn it ,
There are bruises that linger forever; ,
We fay but a word, anu, aiacjci
Thougli we long to recall It, we never ,
Ca.i giie the oil Happiness uatui
Mean "Man I'll never lend him mon
Other Man Why uotY liasn t no paiu
Moan Jtan Paid mo! Why, Ho paia
inn two davs ntter he borrowed tho
money; dldu't even give me a chnuco
to say to my friends mat t u no luci.y
If 1 ever got it DacK.-byracusc u.-
Ilotv IIo Shonlil Loolt nt It.
"Well," Sitld the Eugllslr yachtsman,"'
"you hare beaten us."
"Vou shouldn't put It In that way,"
was the reply. "We did no more than
tin; instincts of self preservation de
manded. We were obliged to come In
llrst In order to prevent you from beat
ing us." Washington Star.
Mrs. Stubb .lolin. hero Is an necouut
of some writer going out too far In tho
surf. For an Incredible length of tlmo
ho iKittled with the wild breakers.
Mr. Stubb-H'uil 1 guess he must
have been .one of those struggling au
thors .we bear so much about. Chi
"Mrs. Stulfem was. told by that emi
nent actress who reduced- irr weigui
i!o pounds by dieting to strictly avoid
nil starchy preparations."
"So now she has her linen done up
limp."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
SIntter of Ncccwlty.
Chicago Man What's tlie faro to St-
Ticket Broker Do you want to go
Chicago Man No. of course I don t
want to, but I am compelled to. Chi
A Side IdKht on Ulxtory.
Teacher For what else was Julius
Tommy Tucker (who had studied mo
lesson soi.-what hastily) Ills- great
strength, ma'am. lie threw' a bridge
across tho Uhlue.-Chlcago Tribuno.
Wiint I'rolltM It?
"Don't was'o voli time talkin 'bout
yob neighbors." said Uncle Kben. "Yoh
neighbors is probably tnlkln 'bout yoh,
mi voh kin ook aroun fob yoliso r an
see how much good It's doin 'em."
V.'Iint Spoiled It.
"What a doleful expression your
phctcgraph has on!"
"Yes; 1 was feeling nil right until tho
photographer told me to look pleas
ant." Detroit Free Press. ,1
The l'erImuioavIlle Vnolit Itnee.
The Captain of tho Possum Gere
men, I reckon wo might Jcs' na well gib
up do race. All In favor ob ouittln say
First Mate Hurry up dat vote. '
cap'n, or you won't bo able to k't a
iiuoruin. New Yotk. WotltL