Newspaper Page Text
OF NO. 3927.
CopurtuM, Jftf, hu
Tor tlio seeoud ttmo in his checkered
career Minion P.urnham was at point-
oil variance witli the mighty power
known tis public opinion, and for tho
second 'lino In? was getting tlio wor-'t
of tlio controversy. Tlio occasion of
his llrst disagreement with tlio nil pew-
prfnl factor In liniiian affairs beloro
whloh potentates tromlilo had been al
together of his own seeking. Ills soo
ond variance was hut the log'cal so-
ipielico of his llrst Indiscretion and lite
tcstilt of clrciiiiisliincos which liad
passed entirely beyond his eontrd.
Public opinion as crystallized into
tlio machinery of the courts hud de
creed that for the protection of society
Marlon P.urnhain should retire for n
promising youth and this street was a
stated period of tltno Into the seclusion favorite, walk with him and Helen, and
of the state penitentiary, there 1o mod- it wns of Helen the e.--eoiiviet and so
rbite, upon tlio consequences of Ids clal outcast was thinking as his feet
transgression wldlo laboring for the
(state and serve ns an Impressive warn-
EURXHAM WATCnr.O TnF. WOliSniPKRS
lug to all would bo evildoers. Aided
and abutted by his lawyer. Marion had
duly resisted this movement of public
opinion to the bitter end but after he
was uic.u cui.iieu uuu umi iuiiiijeu
the ample opportunities afforded hlin
for rotloctiou of a reminiscent nature
ho was forced to admit that opinion
was right and lie was wrong, for to the
best of a recollection considerably
clouded by tilts absorption of a particu
larly villainous brand of the Kansas
specific for most human ailments ho
undeniably liad boon guilty of 'certain
Irregular proceedings whereby the pri-
,1111; a 11, lilt, u. tiia urn III.'., w nuu .,u,.l'
ed to tho payment of his own pressing
1 " i &
. .. l.K. .......1.'.... .........
The Justice of his punishment thus
,.. , .1 ...i. ..,,,( 1
iiciiijowicucu, 1110 uimiuibuc aim suuie-
what philosophical nature of the pris
oner caused him to devote the period of
his forced vet!rcincnt to tlio work of
squaring ao-,unts with society rather
than indulging In useless repining. The
theory of reformatory punishment was
if i,i.i ......,o .i,i.
that It balanced accounts with ones
-fellow men and left the punished free
to begin anew, purged of the taint of
bis former life. Therefore No. Il'jil" en
o tlio spirit .if tho
"the model pHsonor
tered with zeal into
system. He became the model pri
of tlio Institution. He wanted to make
amends for tho past and live usefully
t.. 11... 14. l
III NIL' LUIWIC 1L With III 11U v.iuo or
poetic sense that ho thought of refor
mation and atonement. He nioant It
wr.n . 1 1
mid in the dead, crushing mon'oionv of i,mI ''J'"'1 ,l',,1W0,1P '", IM,1l"t,'
his orison existence ho took the 1V !!,t '"olody of the Kastor an-
hard stops In the process of his regen
It was thercforo with surprise and
distress that No. :;027, once nioro Mar
ion ISurnham, found upon returning
to his native town that public opinion
.vas nol inclined to take his view of his
.case. It did hot cast Into the scale tho
weight of his punishment against that
of his wrongdoing and thereby balance
tho account between himself aiid so
ciety. On the contrary. It added the
weight of those dreary days and nights
In tlio penitentiary to that of his owu
hlnful folly, nnd the balance was hope
lessly against htm. He had not only
done wrong, btit ho had been found
out. That was tho unpardonable sin.
and that was partly the reason tho
townspeople shunned him like a leper.
Marlon did not think It was right. It
seemed to hhn that there should bo a
point somewhere at which the Nemesis
of retribution should cease to pursue
him, nnd that was tho occasion of his
second disagreement with public opin
ion. The melody of tho Easter bells swell
ed upon the ntniosphero as Marlon
Uurnham stood upon tho main village
street anil watched tho worshipers
thronging past. They looked nt lilni
curiously, as though ho were a fre'ilk
Instead of human like themselves.
Some regarded him with a sort of con-
tomptuous pity, while others frowned,
No one spoke to liliu. Not a friendly
face among all those ho had known
from his childhood looked Into his.
Ho remembered some of those faces
nt his trial. Then, when ho knew that
he deserved punishment and had no
Claim upon tho consideration of honor-
able men. silly women had brought
him (lowers in his cell and In their
seusoloss, mawkish sentiment liad
bought to shield him frjm merited rot-
rlbution. Now, Avhon no had pMd the
penalty nnd wns once more entitled to
the recognition of honest men, the wd-
A. A. SMITH.
A. A. Smttti.
men who had sUmvoi-cd syinl7a7liy"iuT
mi li!in know him not. He had come
Lack to them asking for Justice, not
tyinpathy, and they were nut Interest--d
In the subject.
Ho turned away from tlio church.-o-
vrs Into a bystreet tending to tlio river.
Tho novelist who creates his situations
with an easy dlstogatd for truth would
ay that fate led his steps in Unit di
rection. Tlio theologian would ascribe
it to the liiiud of Providence, which
was lending him to a nioinutitous crisis
In his career. As a mutter of fact. It
was only habit which caused hhn to
follow the quiet street to the river's
-.lge tlio awakened Impressions of
years ago, when hu was an upright and
trod tlio familiar path.
Ho know that If there was 0116 per
son in the world who could llnd excuse
or palliation for his fall It was Helen.
Not that she had any reason to remem
ber him kindly, for his treatment of
her liad been fully consistent with the
rest of his foolish, wicked e.iroer In the
city where ho had committed his crime,
but somehow ho felt that she would
not judge 1dm as severely as tho towns
people had done. She had boon his vil
lage sweetheart, and when ho secured
employment In the city and was drawn
into tlio whirl or dissipation which
caused his ruin ho straightway deport
ed her for tlio tinseled coquettes Who
wore not worthy to touch hor hand.
Kite had hidden her heartache beneath
her pride, as women do. and soon aft
erward she left the village. When ho
was arrested and his associates aban
doned him to face a hostile public sen
timent alouo, his heart yearned for the
pure friendship of this girl, but lie did
not know where she was. And had hu
known he would never have stooped
to seek her recognition In his ignominy.
There was that much manhood still
left within him.
Upon a fallen tree by the river's side
ho sat and watched tho rippling water
Ilowlng at his feet. Ills bruin was In a
whirl 'of remorse, despair
and the burning sense of Injustice. It
seemed as If for him the race was elid
ed. Tlio reformatory theory of punish
ment was a Uo. No man once wltlilit
tho shadow of those prison walls could
hope to be treated like a man again, uo
matter how pure his Intentions nor
how circumspect the conduct of his
after life. Why not end It all forever
beneath thoylppllug waters? Physical
self destruction could be no worse than
, , , , , , , , .
tm,taX 1,cWo "'"ly com
mlttcd. Why coullime to lvo whi'i
bo nothing but a living
A sound among the trees near by
roused 111 tn from his hitler thoughts.
To tho loft tho bank of the river was a
little higher, rising abruptly sovelal
feet above tlio water. Glancing hi tlio
1 I t.l I ..P flirt .....t,.l 1... t...
11 woman's form. Her back was
toward him, but he could see by Its
graceful curves that the woman was
young and of handsome llgure. Shu
tI,l'ne'1 1,artly tuW!ml ",,n nm1 sswl
SUy, """" V'0 A
i mil ciuii'w noil! iiei suoumcrs
is slio stopped close to the iireolnltdus
Shu gazed lolig at the water
sparklhur In thy suiillght and then
knelt upon the brink, her hands clasp-
them was borne clearly to them from
tho village church.
At length tiio woman rose slowly
from her knees. She turned her face
toward the midday sun, nnd tho watch
er by tlio tree started forward with a
" '?, " "'" ' wiui a
,,?,pe "1. ny: f.or 1,1 !0 on?
,po" "', '' "'ocofenlzed his vll-
lage sweetheart of tho old days.
She turned a startled face toward
Marlon as hor ear cauglit tho sound.
snE kxixt ui'ox tiii: iiuixk.
The conviction that she was In dUti-css
and had come to the river for, a. torrl-
bio purpose overcame his timidity and
shame, and he advanced, speaking her
"You" she cried, shrinking away,
"What brings you here, of all people
Why do you spy upon 1110"
"I did not follow you, Helen. By
chance I saw your purpose and came
to save you from yourself. Come away
from the river, and I will leu") you."
"Tho river is kinder than tho world
has boon. Can't you leave me with tnv
f Bi l '
"l-'or QuA'a snko, Helen, tell 1110 what
It moans! A few minutes ago I was
nbnost tempted to kill myself. Hut you,
why do you harbor such thoughts"
She turned and looked at htm curl
curly. "I)ld you really wish to end everything-ami
"Have you not heard my story, Hel
en" "I have never hoard your name slnco
I left tlio village."
Marlon picked up the wrap nnd plac
ed It around her shoulders. The midden
lelaxaflon from her nervous tension
had left iir weak and trembling, and
In tho expression of her face siiat ic,
doubt, fear and distress were mingled
with the surrr.'lso aroused by Minion's
Hidden appeal ance.
"Let us sit upon tho log," he said,
"and I will tell you tho story of a vil
hln." She listened oagcily to his story as
he told It truthfully, without, reserva
tion or excuse for himself. "Hut Is that
ail? Would you give up for that You
are a young man with many years 1 11
which to retrieve your good name, and
disgrace hi"ans so little to a man."
"You do hot speak from experience,
t'vidoiitiy," sittd Marlon, with n bitter
'smile. "Will you tell me why ybti wish
ed to leap out yonder'"
Tiie woman dropped her burning fi'.co
into her hands, while a tempest of
grief shook the fiail form. Presently
r!k hmkod at her companion.
"Why should I tell yoil? Por what
does tlio world cast a woman Into a
living hell while it forgives all else
What elsu could transform tho hideous
face of death Into the kindly counte
nance of u friend I may not ntono for
my sin as you can do for yours. No
season of punishment can restore 1110
to my lost estate. Por 0110 false stop I
l.iust boar tho social scourge forever
and bo driven to perdition through the
darkness of public condemnation. Why
should I llo"
Why, Indeed? Marlon Iturnhain ask
ed himself the question as with 11 sud
den revulsion of fooling ho arose and
paced till' slope. Helen, the truest of
women, she who hail always seemed to
him to bo above reproach, fallen so
low! Could It bo possible Was the
world, thou, all allko all false, deceit
She watched hhn a moment ns lie
paced back and forth and then turned
again toward the river anil dropped
her face In hor hands. She had read
his thoughts aright.
Marlon paused nnd looked nt Mils
companion, and a ecusg of the Irony of
ftK DltEW XEAIt AXD LAID II IS ITAKD Ur-OX
tho situation struck him like a blow.
Who was ho, tho returned convict, tho
social pariah, to cast another stone at
this poor woman Was ho raging less
than an hour ago at the injustice of the
world only to bo himself unjust? - Had
she not suffered and atoned for hor sin
as lie had done for his? Vt'orb there
not wniB sins of his owu for which he
had never niado atonement? Was she
not still a thousand times better than
himself, and was he, too, so permeated
with unthinking prejudice that ho
could not grant her the opportunity to
Uo drew near nud laid his hand upon
her shoulder. She arose and looked at
1dm, startled and afraid, but lie took
Iter shrinking hands in his.
"Helen, a moment ago I condemned
you unthinkingly, as the world does.
Now I see that It was tho same Intoler
ant prejudice which Is hounding 1110.
too, It may, be to the river bed. Yon
are still inllnltoly better than I, but the
world, I dare say, will treat us ubout
equally. Do you dare face It with 1110
It may bo there Is something better for
us there a gleam of hope lu tho dark
ness and, If not, the river will wait
for us, and wo can seek Its refuge any
time. Have you tho courage to try? I
swear to atono to you for all the evil I
have done you, even ns 1 have atoned
to society for my offense against It. I
swear to cherish you and honor no less
the fallen woman than 1, tho fallen
man, seek honor. Tho world Is strong
and bitter against us, but It may bo we
will find some friends there, and, If we
fail, I swear to love you to the end, and
wo will seek tills spot again together.
Dear gill, shall we face it once moroV"
She raUod hor shining eyes to his."
"It Is worth tho trial. 1 will have cour
i:go for your sake."
With clasped hands they wntchod the
friendly water for a. moment, then
turned to ascend tho slope, just burst
ing into the green of spring. The serv
ices In tho church wore ended, and as
they went up to face tho world together
the giijd message of the Easter bells
ringing for tlio close of service swept
over them, a triumphant, silvery chime.
IIIh One So:ik,
Pnddy-Why will you stick to that
one song I have hoard you ting It
for those live years and never know
you to sing any other. 1 should think
you would tind it awkwnid In company
when you have sung your song and are
unable to respond to the demand for
an encore by giving something else.
nuddy My dear fellow, there never
Is any dormnd for un encoro. llostou
Made It ttrcn,
"Lawyer Nlles was a humor loving
uttoruoy lu tny old Indiana town," said
a drummer. "Ho owed mo $1.00 for
jevornl months. lie was a prominent
citizen of tho Village, and 1 wus the
driver of n live sealed carryall t'uit
niado four trips dally between our
town nud a neighboring city. So I hes
itated to run hhn. One day ns I waa
passing along In front of his olllco ho
gladdened my heart by opening thu
door and stepping out Into tho road.
" 'Guess I owe you somethln,' Parka?'
ho asked, looking up at mo seated on
" 'Yes, sir. It Is 51.00. I remember.'
" 'So It Is. So It is' reaching down
In his pocket 'Have you got 10 cents
"Of course I had, nnd as I reached
down Into my corduroys for tho dime
I saw visions of tlio ?2 bill that would
soon bo asleep in my lusido p"cket.
Truth to toll, I was overjoyed, for sel
dom before had I been in such pressing
need for additional money as I was on
that particular day. I found the change
ami gave It to Nllos, who coolly put It
In his pocket and walked back toward
his olllco without giving me a cent.
" 'Thanks,' said ho rather unfeeling
ly ns ho pulled out a fresh cigar and lit
It With exnspcratln.g Imperturbability.
"iMianks. That'll make It an even ?2
now.' "Detroit Newa-Trlbuno. vi-
Beleiittllc Fnfo "CrnrklnK."
In tho experiments made In n burgla
rious way, among others, a .:J,000
square safe of tlio most approved con
struction wns attacked by Inserting In
the crevice about the locked door
4 S-10 ounces of nitroglycerin, and In
eight minutes after tho operation of
loading was begun tho charge was
fired, with tho result that tlio whole of
tho Jamb below tlio door was blown
out and a hole made in the door of suf
ficient size to admit tho hand and nrm,
while the doors and divisions of the
Interior compartments were completely
shattered. On repenting tho operation
with !'! ounces of forcite dynntulto tlio
door wns completely torn off.
Among experiments inado to demon
strate the resistance of structures to
attack by a mob was 0110 upon a safe
20 Inches cube, with walls -1 inches
thick, made up of plates of iron and
steel, which wore re-ouforcod on each
edgo so as to make It highly resisting,
yet when a hollow charge of dynamite
!Hi pounds lu weight and untnmped
was detonated on It a hole three Inches
In diameter was blown clear through
tho wall, though a solid cartridge of
the same weight and of tho same ma
terial produced no essential effect.
Popular Science Monthly.
A Cautious Man.
The familiar saw that no man can bo
a hero to his valet was illustrated to
mo tlio other day in an amplified nnd
peculiar form. It wns while sitting
with a man of. affairs that his stenog
rapher entered, saying that a certain
other man desired to speak to my nc-.
qualntnnco over the telephone. "Take
it," said my man and forthwith picked
up his extension machine, through
which ho talked witli tlio mini at thooth
er end, the conversation including mat
ters of finance, politics and personal
business of ii .most fniuillar and confi
dential sort. Ho didit't inlnd mo at all
I didn't count. Wo continued our
conversation, nnd just as I was ready
to leave the stenographer entered with
several shoots of manuscript, which
oho laid on the desk.
"That goes oti tile," said my man.
"I Invariably have a record kept of
my telephone talks, aild I've found It
to pay. While I talk tlio stenographer
holds the main lino and puts It down."
I made up my mind that If 1 had any
thing particular to say to that man
hereafter I'd tell him on the street or
in some place other than his olllco.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"Why don't you use after dinner cof
fee spoons" asked a woman at a llrst
class up town restaurant of tlio propri
etor tho other evening, finding It some
what Inconvenient to use a largo spoon
with her small cup. "Wb did have
them when We first opened." answered
tho proprietor. "Wo had six dozen,
but they gradually disappeared until
now only three are left, and wo consid
er It more economical to use tho larger
spoons, for which people do not seem
to have such a fancy."
Al many restaurants when n glass of
claret or sherry Is called for It Is serv
ed In a tiny decanter. These, miniature
bottles are very attractive. They seem
to appeal, as nany small things do, to
the taste of many people. One man
who visits now nnd again many differ
ent restaurants boasts that ho has oyer
two dozen of these pr-;tty little decan
ters, lie doesn't say how he came by
them, but lie didn't purchase them.
Nov York Times.
A tlrltlab Army CnrpN.
The P.rltlsh army corps as nominally
constituted numbers 30.''5'J officers r.ad
men. A large number or those are
"technical" troops, In charge of the
pontoons, field telegraph, railway ap
pliances, balloons, field batteries and
field hospitals. Eliminating all of these
technical troops, tho strength of a di
vision lu Infautry, cavalry and artillery
la O.-M!) men, with IS guns; of an army
corps. 30,700 men, with 101! guns.
From Ilml to Worm-,
She I would llko to call you by
your Christian name, love, but Tom la
so hateful nnd common, you kuow.
Haven't you some pot name
He N-no, I cr haven't.
Sho Are you always known as Tom
among your friends?
He (brightening up) No. tho boys
call me "Shorty." Harlem Life.
China boasts a breed of dog which Is
virtually kuowu lu all occidental lands.
Tho "sleeve puppy," ns the tiny crea
ture Is styled. Is so diminutive that It
can with case bo carried In tho baggy
Elebvo of the Chlrwso ovci-jjaiasent
nul lie Wasn't I.onklnir Pop Any
Truulilc Kit her.
Prosecuting Attorney Wheeler Camp
bell was lu an unusual predicament
Saturday. He was prosecuting a peace
warrant In the police court. One of
tlio most or.sentlal questions to bo ask
ed on such occasions Is:
"Are you afraid Ihat unless this de
fendant is restrained by law ho will do
you some great bodily harm"
This question lie propounded to tho
prosecuting witness, -who wns a stal
wart mini, almost twice tho size of tlio
man he had sworn out the peace war
"Naw, sab, I ain't!" ho boldly re
plied. "You are not?" asked the attorney In
amazement. "Now, wait. Let me ask
you tho question again, so you'll under
stand it. Are you afraid of him"
"No, salt, I a-alu't tot" say a'fred o'
dat nlggali," ho sputu-rod. "1 ain't
licnr'd ob hlin!"
"A iv you afraid ho will attempt to do
you bodily harm?" tentatively naked
"Not ef-ef not cf I kin git a fa'r
Bhowln nt Mm, boss!" he wild ns lie
glared defiantly nt the prisoner.
The spectators here begun to laugh.
The prisoner's stolid countenance aho
relaxed Into a sinister smile, but. the
witness contended that ho wasn't a
bit afraid of the prisoner and didn't
seem to euro who know It.
"What dhl you get this peace war
rant for, then?" demanded the attor
ney. "I Jos' wanted Jos' wanted," ho ex
plained, "fo to show dat nlggali dat
tny 'tcutlons wuz peaceably 'ncllnod,
Tho court then asked a few questions
and found out that tho witness was
afraid the prisoner would shoot him or
do something of tjiat kind, hut ho
wasn't really "afraid" of him. The de
fendant was accordingly required to
execute bond, and at the same time the
witness' reputation for fearlessness
was unaffected. Paducah Sun.
"He has a wonderful command of
language for so young a man."
"Yes." answered Senator Sorghum.
"And n taste for economic studies."
"I've noticed it."
"And remarkable self possession In
facing an audience."
"I shouldn't bo surprised If ho be
came a great politician."
"I doubt It. lie's liable to keep so
busy tbluking thoughts and talking
language that he'll forgot all about tho
necessity of getting in lino with tlio
folks who are doing tho investing."
None of It Kor .Innruy!
P.lbbs How Is it Jones lias thrown
up South Africa? I thought ho volun
teered. Dlbbs So ho did, but ho altered his
Bibbs What made lilm do that?
Dlbbs Ho got to know that his
inotlior-In-law was going out ns a
IIIh Umloutitect I'rl vl!i-;e.
Impartial Spectator (at dog fight)
That under dog doesn't seoiit to bo a
match for tho other, but I don't, won
der yott sympathize with hhn. y'hat's
Excited Individual Sympathize with
hhn Thunder! lie's hiy dog! Chi
.ot Artliti; III I'nrl.
Customer Gracious! How loud
mouthed and domineering that man Is!
Is ho a mouther of the linn?
Salesman Yes: bo's the silent part
ner. Philadelphia Press.
, Harold 1 wonder why Proning in
sists on comparing Miss Porsoful to n
Itobert Because she's so gushing, 1
guess. Yoiikers Herald.
"This don't worry buttot! Is n fraud."
"In what respect"
"Why. every fellow that sees It wor
ries mo by wanting 1110 to give It to
him." Chicago Itceord.
"This paper says you should never
cut a pio with a cold knife."
"I never do. If I haven't a hot knife
I eat tho whole pie." Ciovolaud Plain
Mrs. Wunder I understand your hus
band holds a government position.
Mrs. Parvenoo Yes, ho Is hi the chif
fonier of statistics. Baltimore Ameri
can. I.oelc nt Iliilr, For liiHiiiucc.
"What.'s a souvenir. Aunt Ann"
"Oh, It's anything you keep so long
that you can't remember where you got
It." Indianapolis Journal.
Sliinv TIiIn to the .x! Tormentor.
After a man passes 40 lie sliould do
loss for boot: agents and nloro for hint-Bt-lf.
Judge Ilavo you Hnythlng to say.
Prlsourr Oujy this, your honor, that
if I'm convie(6d 1 f-houhl llko to bo
rout to Jail as soon ns possible, so as
ust to bo late to dinner! Ucitcro Welt.
PYTHIAS WASJN LUCK.".-
An I'mistial Comment on a VerT,
"Pn." asked ti North Side boy, "who
"Oh, ho was a fellow that lived long,
lotig ago In a country whero there wns"
ii.crticl king. This king had sentenced;
a man to death, and tho condemned-'
asked to be allowed to go' home nud
say goodby to his wife, but tho king
wouldn't let him out because he could
not give ball. Along about that tlitio
Pythias stepped up and said ho would
consent to he executed In tho othei fel
low's place If tlio latter didn't return
on time. So they let hlin out for four
hours, ami Pythias put on the hand
cuffs. Along 'about 15 minutes before
it was lime for Damon, who was Pyth
hu' running mate, to return Pythias
began to have that tired feeling. A
ten minutes before the hour set for the
beheading Pythias stood 011 his other
leg and staid, '1,'H bet Damon's wife
will keep him so lung at the door say
ing goodby that ho won't bo brick lii
"But nobody would take tlio bet.
Then the king and the people ho hail
Invited got out behind tho courthouse,'
and Pythias was led around so there
wouldn't bo any delay ' when tho per
formance wiis to begin. It wi'w then
":5S. and Pythias began to think he1
was up against It.
" 'This Is the last time I'll over do
anybody a favor of this kind,' ho said.
"It's beginning to look that way.'
says the kind, lie was a ruler who on-'
Joyed a Joke.
"In about a mnuto nioro the time
limit would expire. Pythias was be
ginning to fcol like a man who lives in
tlio suburbs and Is two blocks from the-'
station when the last train is duo. The
executioner inn his thumb along the
edgo of his ax, and tho king got hold'
of the beBVopo. so he could register all
right when the thing was done. But
Just then Damon canto back, running
with all his might, and the king was
so overcome with admiration for hlin
that he was pardoned right there."
After the child had thought hard for
a moment he said:
"Gol, pa, wasn't It lucky for Pythias
that tho cablo didn't happen to break
or the bridge didn't get swung when
Damon wns coming back?" Chicago
"I never saw anything llko a wo
man's curiosity." said Mr. Blykens, ns
ho gave the storm door a push. "Wo
men will take nil tlnie and ask ques
tions Just for the sake bf Interrogatory
exercise. They'll plunge Into the ab
struse domain of tho law of chance
and exfiect a man to deliver a Huxley
or Herbert Spencer opinion offhand."
"What lias happened"
"A woman, out there just asked me
to please tell her which side of .the
crossing the car was going to stop on."
Washington Star. ty j
CoiiNlilei-iite Yoniiiv Women.
Twlgloy I don't think the Sands
girls read tho funny papers.
Twlgloy Well, I wns up there pretty
late the other evening, and when I
said, lu thanking Miss Kate for singing
for me, that her singing quite carried
ntu away, none of them said she ought
to have sung earlier lu the evonlug.
Detroit PrOjO Pi ess.
The Duck That makes ns look like
.".() cents. Types.
TiiUIi:- n 'li'.-ui A it mi tn Ke.
"Why did you penult Kazzleton to do
nil rite talking when you and ho hap
pened to ca!l on Miss Billions at tho
same time" '
"Because I rather liked iho girl and
wanted the field to myself next time.'
C h l ea go Ti m os- Horn l d.
Toss She's -jottlug old. There's no
Jess Why do you think so?
Toss She complains that )he styles
In hats nud gowns nre not as pretty as
they used to bo. Philadelphia Press.
One nt 'I'hei:i,
"Look hero." said the approached, "I
gave you 10 cents not live minutes ago.
Now you are at mo again."
"I'm such an absontntlndod beggar,"
said the mendicant apologetically.
Philadelphia North American.
Her l.ai'l; of i:iu-rletice.
Tho Poet's Wife They say that
poetry is a drug on tho market.'
Tho Poet Nonsense! If you'd, ever
sold any pomry and bought any drugs,
you'd know tho diirereiieo.-rtrirloui
Itivers-1 froze my. foot going home
lu the btreet car the other night.
Brooks That was an Idiotic tiling to
do. My feet froze, .too. but l didn't
freeze thent.-Chlcago Tribune.
Duty and IJnhlt,
The Cop-If I did me Juty, I'd run
The Protesting Citlzen-Oh, don't go'
out of your way on my account. Phll
fidflph'a North American.
Ji ftkcaV -Mi'Il'