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WSBft KEPT BUSY.
IIS YlME A SMALL QOV G4USED ALL
THE TftOUBLE.
lie VTan n Vary Smi-ll liny, ltit He
:'llhil n Very linrKu ViiU-e mill Drove
tlio I'oor OIil UpiiUcihou Almnst In
bhiic, T Copyright, 1900, hy Q. It. Iwls.
"It lmrt been arranged that Mrs. Bovr-
If and tlio liuiy next door should nt-
md to some c-lmrrit matters In tlio
SnliiB and tlmt tlio lndy'ts l-j-t?ar-olil
in Should liu the guest of Mr. Ilowsor
th cat for a counlo of hoius. The
.tie follow looked around In a dubious)
rny us he wan brought over, but full
aluCiORforc the Indies Kot away nud
.ijas utcjUed up on the lounge,
ft.?. "Don't you worry li the nllghtost,"
'gld Mr. Uowser to (ho mother. "If ho
ballpens to wake up. I'll do everything
tjoM'anuifse hitii. I alwaya loved children,
jejuni they have always, taken to inc.
JI5ICS3 uin. little heart, but I wish he
(hrtfin't fallen asleep."
rKtvi minuted Inter the front door
mreeil on his mother, and the hoy
woke. lie didn't awake with the
ilgtlltl KcntlcneHs of a rabbit, bat all
,a sudden he fat up with a howl of
.rltfht, The howls ran from Xo. 1
,o. li before Mr. Howmt could real-
is tile eitiiiuion, autl the rninlly cat.
iwTfe
had been pvowlln; around the
, made a dive for the hull and up-
nod totally panic stricken.
4
i'IBr!iiB tho nest ten minutes Mr.
bwcr tried hir.il to bo a, mother to
WU Ixiy. He drummed, oii the piano.
iOCtoil on tlio window and cavorted
11 r
m 1
HE HAD JUST TICKED
ilioilt the rem. Ho In:' ;1 over i-.'s
.Witch, his wallet, his keys and his
'tine. Ild nm to the kite" -n i'. . r-'.it. .-,
AVti.vtliim: mid overvihiii'j was at the
Xpuftui-of ti.nl toy i. at.; ho ciiaed to
uiw'l ami sob.
Mo wiiut htor.v," ho said ua ho dug
frfiio fellas, out of his eyes with his
,
x'l i,-. .11 "..i, .hi. .t,i,i.i-i iiru iiii'I
fipviiii story: "tincv upon a unit'
lli'iv Will- II lml'lnlled do'j. Hi' was
iHjf'tti'il, In- "ai ;t vcai s o'il. He loved
JiiMii's Mini ii'i'Ht anil uii'ii (iwici'B mill
Sjee,' cream, lie iiim lio moiiicr or m-
;r. line uii not a dug to il wicKeil
'iii'-i. lie diuU t bwuur or chew or
ink. xntl Iiii t" tt "ir. Tlico w-e
logn. vnu tuiiuu lo ilgj.l wita linu, iidt
-
..i ;'v
i, t-x."-" V
A HOWL K.W AFKllimiT.
fe wnnid not iir;it, 'liei they came
roenil mil ":t"i tnv cnt'lil liiuick Ihj
!',Ii'brM ui' and roil Inm tn th mud.
!&' Il'l'.ilii"! over tl" tcricn nml nm
way. Well, tliliuxs went on tills way
lior n limn tiine. nud then and thsu"
V.ad f::eti tVe !oy bcrtn l:ov.-l!n-r bo-
'f t: ere v.a-; i o :::o:'e rrVtnllt''1 Cnri.i
l?w r T t!'o -:it ln lnir tin.
Pv.ln ci)::t!:-.':ed: then l:e got down ua
a::.i i,.:ri'a !"iu sain lie was a
Ilse. but that wouldn't work. Ho
L&t ni't ii lion!: vtt!i iitrt'T'iiii Knn
Sihcelila-iiv I'abv" nad whtstieil "Vnn.
Eafe Coodle." and auer ten mlnute'i
ovi: thrown away he was greeted
it.'i.tl.at rar;p tearful remark:
"?" ivnnl Kfnvv!"
' '
x Thcrtiupoii Mr. Bowser, who had
wlltod his collar and busted the straps
oil Ids vest with his exertions, sat
fdowu and began: "There was once a
!U)oar. He went around looking Tor
fcboys who cried. Howls of fear from
tthe boy. No. I mean he went around
looking for girls on roller skates. This
'bear lived in the woods, and ho was
"not afraid of either man or g' :is.
iVhenevor ho caught a boy IT .
.mean, whenever he caught a . . he
ould carry hci- off to his den and eat
up ut two inoutliftils. In one year
uai bear ate up 10,000 girls. Olie day i
lien tjiere wens no girls about and ho
wry lir.iigry bethought he would
'if hiy I Awful howls.l Hold on,
in! I'm ciiiig jo, (.el) .vptt.iort- tho
Kill tho boy refused to see. He'd
hoard bear stories before, and ho know
that there was a ncrcw loose some
where. Ho sat up and howled, and ho
hiy down and howled, and tho cat tied
In terror, and Mr. Bowser felt chills go
up his back. There was more lively
drumming on the plnno, more wild gal
lpps around the room, more "singing
and whistling. Exercise In a gymna
sium couldn't compnro to It, but there
were only two ways to stop that howl
ing. The boy must bo either choked to
death or hear another story.
Mr. Bowser wasn't quite ready yet to
do murder, mid so he gaspingly began:
"Well, you know, there was once a boy
named Willie Scott. The howls ceas
ed. lie had a goat. It was a black
g at. You've seen a goat, of course,
lie has horns and climbs over fcuccs.
This goat loved the boy because he was
so kind to It. Porno boys would hit a
gnat with a crowbar If they got mad,
but Willie never even struck his goat
with a stick. If ever you get a gout
oud want him to love you, don't abuse
him. A goat has feelings as well as a
boy. Well, one day Willie and his goat
were out on the sidewalk, and along
ra'mo a Hon. The lion was hungry and
wanted to eat the boy up. The boy be
gan to cry, but the goat snld to htm
Let's see. What did the goat say? I
don't remember Just what ho said, but
-but"
There' was no ilnls, and there were
howls and sobs and lamentations from
the kid on the lounge. He wanted to
khow whether the goat ate up tho lion
or tho lion ate up the boy, and Mr.
Bowser had left It all a mystery. lie
was picked up and danced around tho
THE IIOWLEU UP.
r.oom. L:t ho added ki ks tn 1.1s howls.
I lio wns carried, up stairs and down
I Ati!ij,.s. i t:t i.- would not be quiet. There
' came half fornvd Wfn.! of throwing
I lilm out of a buck window or ehuckiuf
luiu in to the ccal Liu, but lie was ut
lei:0'th returned to the lounge.
4
Then. Mr. Bowser sworo about 4(
bvtar woi'ds to himself and began.
"Vou know that a Ley should i-lwayi-niiiid
wjiiit his father and Uiuthcr tth
him. 1 Howls cease. J if lu duosu't. IheL
l.o is a Lad Luy una soinethlug wll."
huppLU to him. 1 ouee knew a buj
iiou name was Sammy. He wai
ai.o..t a old a., mi are and about iu
lui'un. Ouo uuy he anted to throw
tut) clock out of tho wimlou. but hit;
hioilier a;iid: iiaaiuiy, don't do that,
if you do. a wolf will come and cat
you up.' What did time boy do' Hi
waited until his mother went down ti
uio blori'. and then he threw the clock
out. Hk didn't bolieve that a wolf
would come, but that same afternoon.
ho wi.ii playing In the back yard
a a "at 1 'g wolf, with eyes as big a?
t- -cu-. auJ a tall ten feet long, jumped
over the I nek fence fid growled and
growled, nud thl- boy yc!l-l for 1:1
mother, nud the wolf showed his teeth
and and wi 11, hat's all."
Pit it wasn't. That wolf ell her att
that boy up or ho didn't, at,.l tin
youngster oil the' loihige wanted to
kuow. He began howling with redou
bled vigor, and Mr. Bowser determine!1
on his death. He wouldn't kill him 1:
the liu use, but he would take him ti
the viver rnd can him In. He had Jus.
1 ikeu the howler up and got bin
uuder his ,irm. and the cat was lookln;.
on with great satisfnctlon. when th
ladles re'iirticd and the murder wa
prevent! l.
"
"Woman," said Mr. Bowser after th.
moth": of f,e child had departed wit!
him in her nruji;, "iho law will piui.
ably :i!!n-r you alimony!"
"But wlnii tar'1" slii ashed.
"Blvnrcoi" lie houiely iciiied. ''Thi
limit lias beeu reached. My In wye.
will nerve tile p:iiers on your lawyc
tomorrow, and you can go homu l
jour uioilier by the 10 o'cloc: train."
M Q
"I bought this cane of you yesterday,
and you said tho handle was geuuluo
ivory, but I iiud It's Imitation."
"Indfed? Why, I order my goods
direct from Ceylon, but It's not Impos
sible, of course, that the el: plants
there wear false teeth I"-Dor Floh.
Civilization lu Cejlon.
AN EASY VICTIM.
Tlio Wcntorn Orocpr Took Home tt
CI in til Story From Clilcnfto.
"I'd been up to Ohlcngo n hundred
times or more," snld tho western gro
cer as n sheepish look illttcd over Ida
tftve, "and I'd bragged to everybody
that I, was on to nil the little yamcs
ever, worked on. tho gullible, but they
got. in.o at last with in j eyes wldo
open. was In, tho bllllartl room of the
hotel one evening; when two sitters
near me got lnto'a dispute about how,
tho word 'fuitlll' wns spelled. Each
had his own way, and I knew tlmt ouo
of them whs dead wrong. I'm nothlug
to brag of with tho pen, but when It
routes to orthography it takes a dic
tionary to down me. uturnlly enough,
I hnd to shoot oft my mouth and side
with the ouo who wns right. That
made the other fellow hot, and he of
fered 'to bet tue 510 that ho w as cor
rect by every dictionary lu tho land.
I out with my bill, but tho man I wns
Standing up for claimed the right to
Uinko the wnger. He ran It tip to ?30,
but found, he had only a New York
draft In his wallet, ami, the other
w'ouldn't take that. That left an open
ing of mo to come lu, and I had my
i?."V0 tip lu a jiffy. It was given into
the hands of my friend with the check.'
Tho word, was written, down ns.wu
each contended was right, and wc
started off to see If a dictionary could
ho found. Nothing of the kind was
to be turned up at the olllce, nud my
rival went up stnlrs to see a friend who
might have ouo. Tho first thing 1
knew I was all alone, but it was ten
minutes before 1 lenlis-od that tho 'fui
tlll' had been 'fullllled.' It was a put
up job on me, and It worked so easy
that tlio fellows must have been dis
gusted. I got mighty mad over it mid
took a wail; to cool off. A block from
the hotel I met tho man who held the
stakes and went for him at once. In
the suave'st and gentlest manner he A
uled his Identity, and ho was so corf
and placid that 1 soon began to doubt.
Then he took me by the arm and walk
ed back to tho hotel with me and gave
me sonic "brotherly ndvlco and a kind
good night HO bad bluffed mo down."
"And that was all?" queried ouo of
the smokers.
"Well, about nil," replied tho grocer.
"It was probably half an hour later
when I missed' my watch, and of
course I didn't go out expecting to tlnd
that luferualj'scouudrel standing on the
same corner, again !" M. Quad.
rier Itlcii of It.
"What Is your Idea of an egotist?"
asked Willie Wlshlngtou conversation
ally. "An egotist," nnswercd Miss Cny
enne thoughtfully, "differs from the
rest of mankind, cjidy lu one respect
P.very person feels' at heart n certain
sense of superiority. But the egotist
lias sulllcleut courage to publicly admit
ids opinion." Washington Star.
CVli.ere It AViih 1'aalty.
"No," said the managing editor, "we
cannot use your poem. Tho sentiment
is beautiful, and the meter and rhym
ing are perfect, but nevertheless It Is
not suitable for ft high class literary
magazine."
"Whnt's tho mntter .with it?" asked
tho poet in not unnatural surprise.
"Any one can understand it." Chi
cago Post.
Preferred Dc-:tlj.
v u
"Wot miikf-s yer t'lnk yer goln tor
die, Weary ?"
"Oh. uis drtiwlu breaths every two or
ihli-e bccomis is a terrible uilit.aiice. an
Kiicsa i'll hayo for o."'t.'-rB,v-stoii
UijL't'.
Self Esteem,
"I like a umu who has ft sflQd opinion
of himself."
"So do I, but your brother Tom car
ries It too far. Why, If the president
vero to ride down this street and Tom
happcued to bo the drum major with
(Ut1 iiilltd, he'd thluk the cheers were
alt for,hlui."-Ch!eago Times-Herald.
One uii Mur-iliy.
Jones The police cume In while Mur
phy was trying to beat up his wife last
night.
Bmith-Dld they take him to the sta
tion, house?
iones No, to tho hospital. Detroit
Preo Press.
The Attnrk.
Mrs. Jones Your little boy gave my
little boy the measles.
Mrs. Brown You nre entirely mis
taken. Your little boy cniup where my
little hoy wns and took them. Indian
upolis Journnl.
The Mlixtit- Mite;
She Oooduess, 1 should say she did
rule lilml Aud she's n little bit of n
mite too.
He Ah, Just another case where the
mite makes right! Philadelphia Press.
An Abtelintlletl StraKKler.
Smith Have you ever had any ath
letic trnlnltig. Jofaeu?
Jones Well, I've always managed to
get my meals' while on popular excur
sions, Chicago itecord.
TiJi Mnt-h For Her.
"I heir your iuother-In-law has facial
paralysis. What catiRed It?"
"Kie w'eut to n photographer's and
trli'd tv look pleasifihf-PkUadel'jh'.a
. ,t!i'..u.
Tho nvk Antlrow Welch is oxpcscl-
cd from Ilonolulu .to load susmr at
Kaliului for the coast.
Tlio American schoouor Helen N
Kimball, Captain Hansen, is thought
to bo lost with all on board.
Tho ship Charmer, Capt. Slater,
is now 50 days out from Port Town
send for Ivahului, and some uneasi
ness is fplt concerning her.
On Wednesday afternoon a large
ship with sky sail yards was sighted
oil Knhului, supposed to bo the S. D.
Canton, bound for Lahuina.
Quito a number of vessels aro due
or expected at Kaliuhij from the
coast, including tho Charmer, Clial
longer, Wright and Stanley.
"Tho Ivinau lias been laid ofT for re
pairs, and the Claudine took tho
Kinau's run to Hawaii this week
tho Maui taking the Claudino's run,
Tho little schopner Mokilmna aiv
rived from Kahulut last evening. Shu
grounded on tlio shoal off tlio new
new piiannel wharf on her way in
the harbor, but was gotten off with
out much diflloulty. The Httlo ves
sel is swift and will bo used to trans
port lumber from this port to Iva
hului for the railroad there. Hono
lulu Republican.
There were several people among
the passengers who arrived from
Hilo end way ports on the, Kinnuon
Sunday who have been kicking ever
stneo at tho action of Purser Becklcy
of that vessel, in holding tho Kinau
for almost twelve hours at Lahaina
while former Queen Liliuokalani and
her party wore entertained by
friends ashore.
On Thursday the Wright from the
coast and tho Honoipu from New
castle, arrived at Kahului. Pilot
English boarded the Wright and
brought her in, and the Honoipu
trailed in after her, making a safe
mooring without tho aid of a pilot
Capt. Olsen of tho Honoipu reports
a prosperous, aud pleasant voyage.
On Dec. 14 ho spoke the Chehalis,
30 days out. The Honoipu is ono of
Hinds, Rolpli& Co.s, and it will soon
be followed by a largo fleet of vessels
owned by that enterprising firm.
Vessels in Port -Kahului
nristMi Slilp "Antiope, Murray from Lady
smith, II. C.
Am. Ship A. J. Fuller, Dermott, from Lady
smith, U. C.
Am. nktn. QulckKtciv from Tncoma.
Am. Sthr. John D. Tiillunt, Hofllaml, from
Chill.
Am. Schr. Ilrnolpo, Olson, from Xcwcr.stlo.
Am. Schr. II. C. Wright, Niulseu, from S. i
S. S. Ileluno, McAllister, from IIJlo.
Ai-rivetl.
Jau. 10. Am. Schr. Houoipu, Olson, 5 1 days
from Jso-vcaMU'; coal.
Jau. 10. Am, Schr. II. O, Wright, Niclson, S3
dayH from San FraLctsco! merchandise.
Jan. 11. S. S. Heleno, MoAUitr, from Iti'.o,
ruiuoau iron.
Jau. 0. S. g. Maui, Sachs, from Honolulu.
1 Departures.
Jon. C Moltlhana for Honolulu.
Jan. VI, Anttopo for tho Sound.
Jan, l'J, S, S. Maul for IIonolu)u,
Expected.
Sp Charmer, from Tacoma; coal.
Sp Challenger, from Tacoma: coal
Sell Honoipo, from Newcastle;
coi,l
BLtne Chehalis, from Newcastle;
coal.
Am Sch H. C. Wright, from S. P.;
mdse.
Sch Honolulu, fiom Newcastle
coal.
List oi Passe n jjers.
Honolulu Ppto?fIce Time Table.
DATE NAME VROil
Jan. 1. Oaslto , Orient
" 2. Zoalandla San Francisco
" 5. American Maru San Francisco
" 7. Mariposa ...........Colonies
" S. Alameda San Francisco
" 10. Hongkon? Maru Orient
" 10. Aorangt Colonics
" IS. Felling San Francisco
" 18. China Orient
" 19. Miowora Victoria
"20. Dorio , Orient
" 21. Zoalandia San Francisco
"23. (1 nolle San Francisco
" 22. Sierra Colonies
" 29. Sonoma San Ffaneisco
81. Hongkong . Maru ...San Francisco
FOB i
Jan. I. Oi. 'lie San Francisco
" 5. Kualandla... San Francisco
" 5. America Maru ,, Orient
" 7 Mariposa San Francisco
" 8. Alameda ..colonies
"' 10. Hongkong Maru San Francisco
" 10. Aorangi Victoria
15. Peking ; , ..Orient
18. China..' "... SanFrancisco
" 1. Nlowera ; colonioK
.20. nirlo ' San Franoisco
"23. Gaelio , Orient
" 20. Zealandia ....San FranoUco
'123.' SieVrii SanFrancisco
,'"23,' Sonoma colonior,
''Si. JUn'ajVo-ic Maru Orient
Mey's Honolulu Cyclery
earn
8 O
AT
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8900 ChaintesiA
craxmsK-Ksa
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ftAl Til, A.
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LIMITED.
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the Republic of Hawaii.
CAPITAL S-100.000.00
OFFICERS AND DIRECTORS:
Chas. M. Cooko President
P. O. Junes Vice-President
C. H. Cooko Cashiei
F. C. Atherton. . . . Assistant Cashier
Directors Henry Waterliouse.
Tom May, F. W. Macfdrlane, E. I).
Tonily, J. A. McCandless.
Solicits the Accounts of Firms.Cor.
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Fort S t r o & t ,
Honolulu
Agents for
STERLING and IYER JOHNSON
4 Bicycles
DELfiRSIN AlIctndof oporlina Gcoda
"
icyc
$7 &.()()
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HONOLULU
10: CARLOADS
OF THE FAMOUS
" EMILY F. WHITNEY " and
"GARDINER CITY " by
the Territory of Hawaii.
REPOSITORY
on Wheels
5V53SY PURPOSE
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BOO 111(113
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Cor. Chapel and Hatnihon St.
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