Newspaper Page Text
THE MAUI NEWS
SATURDAY, JULY 24, 1 909
The Roundtop Road
will be Built.
Honolulu, July 17. Governor
Frear gave out today thnt the Gov
ernment expected to go ahead with
the building of the Uoundtop scenic
road. This is the proposition that
the late Samuel T. Alexander was
going to finance, hut which he aban
doned on seeing the "elegant" esti
mates of cost. As figured by the
Government of that time, alxmt ten
years ago, the road would have lieen
too expensive even for the generous
ly disposed millionaire's purse.
There have been considerable
changes from the original route
made on the map. v It will go
around to the right from the head
of Makiki street, connecting with
the Tantalus road liack of Sugarloaf.
Lately the Government constructed
a road leading to the left and con
necting with Tantalus road away
down. As probably a six per cent
grade will be made, there will lie
many turn and twists in the road.
In consequence it will lie fifty to 100
per cent longer than the route the
It is intended, in connection with
the building of the Roundtop road,
to sell lots on the ridge back of J. P.
Cooke's place alxivc the Howard de
mesne. There is no appropriation for the
road but it is believed that it can be
built with prison labor.
It was a Marathon race with 10
contestants. One of them was a
little lopshouldered, bow-legged
man with a wheeze to him, and
men who looked him over said to
"Why, the man can't ruriamile!
What sort of a trainer has he that
he is entered in a race like this?" ;
And the trainer, overhearing such
criticism, explained: -
"Gentlemen, I know my busi
ness. My man is not much to look
at and under ordinary circumstances
there would lie no show for him,
but I have a card up my sleeve.
Put a few scads on my man if you
want champagne to drink for the
rest of the summer."
The public was mystfied, but not
convinced. No man would put a
dollar on the little man. Even
after the race was on and it was
seen that he was well up with the
leaders nobody would speak a good
word for his chances. On the con
trary, when the pace Miccame hot
and he kept dropping lack there
were cries of "Take him off!"
There was yet two miles to go and
tho little man held the eleventh
place and was leing cat-called,
when his trainer, and a woman
came to the front and the woman
"So. I have found you at last;
Jim Norton, I will run yon down!'.'
The little man saw and heard,
and as his face went ashy pale his
legs liegan to play. The woman
was the wife from whom he had
fled three years before. He sprang
into tenth place ninth eighth
seventh. A great cheer rent ' the
air. Like a wild deer of the woods
he picked up No. 6 No. 5 No. 4.
Other cheers. He passed Nos. 3
and 2, and then with a yell of fear
as the woman once more called his
name he shot to the front and the
race was his. It's all in having a
trainer who knows your family his
tory. TWO STORIES.
The Burglar (after giving his side
of the case) Well, that finishes my
Magistrate No it doesn't. As
you are a second-story man you will
hear the rest of it tomorrow morn
First Lunchroom Waiter--He only
takes a piece of pie and a gla'ss of
milk for his lunch nowadays.
Second Lunchroom Waiter-Guess
he's saving up to buy his wife an
Pineapple Juice Recom
mended for Diptheria.
Pineapple juice is a sovereign re
medy for diptheria. When the fact
was first discovered is uncertain but
it has lieen known for a number of
years by Hawaiians, and recently a
numlier of mainland physicians have
tested it who vouch for its ollicacy.
The juice is pressed fron the fresh
fruit and sweetened or if may be
used from the canned fruit with
very satisfactory results, and is then
administered by spoonfuls to the
sufferer for some time. The acids
of the fruit seem to digest the mem
brane, which causes the closing of
the throat, and the relief is apparent
almost at once. Cures are reported
of cases of diptheria in which all
other remedies had failed. Nev.s
UNCLE SAM, MORMON
When Uncle Sam went Courting
In Eighteen Nincty-e'.ght,
We all were down on Mormons,
And never dreamed, his fate,
When he set out to succor
The fair Antilles' Pearl,
We thought the Constitution
Only allowed one girl 1
But jinks a'mighty, Christmas 1
A maid in flowers clad
Came up, his chin she chucked,
Asked him to 1k her dad.
'Twas thus he brought Hawaii
Into the family fold ;
For all the ladies did and said
How some Old Women scold !
A hunch of maids, of various hues,
Learnt of this guilty trick, O!
He wrapped them in his lengthening
And thus wed Porto Rico!
'Twas Guam he next then courted,
The fair Ladrone Isle,
And this dark-colored maiden
Submitted to his guile.
Along with her he had to wed
A maid long past her teens,
But later was enamored
With his Tropic Philippines.
And then lie sought Wake Island,
By Tropin currents kissed,
He wedded her by "cable,"
Myl how the ladies hissed!
When next in line fell Panama,
- Her narrow neck caresses,
This link lictwcen two Continents
Close to his bosom presses.
In the coining Generations
Of these strange peoples wed,
Which will be the ruling color:
v White, .Yellow, Black? 'Nough
THE FUNNY DRUMMER.
There was no doubt t hat a certain
couple in the Pullman had just lieen
married, and married for love, but
tlie Pittsburg drummer said the
matter really ought to be investigat
ed. He said there was so much
crime going on that he felt it a duty
to diminish it whenever and where
ver he could. The- young bride
groom was therefore beckoning into
the smoking compartment, and the
drummer said to him :
"My dear sir, you are passing for
a bridegroom here, but the question
in the minds of a few of us is: Are
you really married, or are you elop
ing with that young woman?"
"Oli, I'm married straight
enough," was the reply.
"To that young lady?"
r or sure. '
"You can show a certificate?"
I can. '
"And it was no mock marriage?"
"And her parents consented?"
"Well, I'm. glad to hear that it is
all right. I have nothing more to
"But I have'1 replied the groom.
"You pass for a drummer here.
Are you a drummer or a swindler
and horse thief?"
"Again, you pass for a funny
man. Are you blamed funny or
blasted soIkt? In either case let
And be slapix-d the drummer's
right check and left cheek and chin
and Imwci1 to the others and went
back to put his arm around his
little bride again.
Girls of Hawaii Prove
Civilization of the Island.
Seattle, Washington, June 25.
Hawaii's half dozen of fair daughters
who are doing the honors for the
Territory at the exposition are hav
ing some varied and interesting ex
periences, such as probably no
other girls from the Islands ever
had. They are a constant source of
interest to the hundreds of visitors,
and they are daily called upon to
answer :i most varied assortment of
questions, some of which are ex
tremely amusing. Dozens of per
sons express suprised that they are
al-le to speak English, and often,
want to know how they learned it,
and if they found it difficult, all of
which is much fun for the whole
The other day a middleaged man,
apparently a well to do farmer,
earring a handsatchel and chewing
on the end of n match, sauntered
alxnit through the building fur a
while, evidently much interested in
everything he saw, but making no
audible comment. He then disap
peared fur alxnit five minutes, when
he returned in company with a
woman, evidently his wife. The
two spent at tout an hour in looking
over the various exhibits, and then,
approaching Miss Pauline Evans,
the man expressed himself some
thing as follows:
'You folks have got a fine show
here. But- d'you know, I was
afraid of it at first. You see I've
seen the Chicago exposition, and
the Buffalo show, and the one at St.
Louis, and I saw the Hawaiian cx;
hibit at all those places. That's
why I came in here this morning
without my wife, for I was ashamed
to have her see those half dressed
savages, that lived on dogs, that I
saw in the other shows. This isn't
anything like the Hawaiian shows I
saw before; but its all right, and
I'm glad to have my wife sec it.
You people must Ik- getting' quite
civilized over there."
Several days lie fore the Hawaiian
girls arrived, Special Agent Loyd
Childs was waited upon by a nuin
Itcr of young "co-eds" of the Wash
ington State University, who want
ed posit ions for t he season in the
Hawaii building, Mr. Childs ex
plained that the girls from Hawaii
were due to arrive within a few
days, and that he would not be able
to employ any more help for the
"O, but we thought that you
would want some girls who speak
English, and not that South Sea
lingo," was the rejoinder.
"Why, our girls speak English,''
explained Childs, "and speak it
even better than you, for they don't
IT WAS THE silOES.
When the old Long Island farmer
was asked if he took summer board
ers he replied:
"Noap, but Green docs. He's got
one now, and we can't make him
out for sure."
"How diH'S he puzzle you?"
"Wall, I'm Itclicving that heowns
two or three banks, but my old wo
man shakes her head. She says he
may and he mayn't.''
"I'll bet he owns half a dozen of
them 'ere autos, but when I say so
to the old woman she says he may
and he mayn't.''
I see. '
"And when he's home he's prob
ably got a big house and at least 1G
niggers to wait on him. I've told
the old woman so, but she says she's
got to count the niggers before she'll
ltelieve it. She says he may have,
and then again ho mayn't."
"You can't always tell," was
observed. f '
"And I'm Utting that he left
mighty nigh a peck of diamonds Ik
hind him when he conic up here to
git the country air, but when I say
so to the old wenian she gives u
grunt and says be may and he
mayn't. She hain't going to le
lieve nothing 'till she runs her nose
plump agin it."
Murders a Woman
And Then Disappears.
Li hue Kauai, July 10. On Tues
day P. M. almut .'i o'clock a Jap
anese women named Shio was mur
dered in her home at Kaupcna, near
Hanamaulu by a Japanese named
Fukuliaro. The murderer had been
employed for a few days previously
working in the rice fields, but n
Tuesday he quit saying that he was
going away. Tlie woman and her
husband, also her sun, were at work
during the day until almut the hour
almve mentioned her husband sent
her to the house with a fish. Shortly
afterwards, the son started towards
the house and heard his mother call,
and at the same time he noticed
Fukuliaro running; from the house
toward the bushes and canclields.
lie went on into the house and was
horrified to find his mother dead
with a cut on the hand and a stall
in the left side of her neck. The
wounds were bleeding, showing that
they were made but a' few moments
previously. The husband was sum
moned, together with some other
laborers from the field, who imme
diately liegan a search fur the mur
derer. The MiIice department was
also notified, and although the
country has been searched, up to
this time no trace of the murderer;
has been found. The Grand Jury
fining a true Bill against Fukuliaro.'
It can be a question of but a short
time, before the murderer is cap
tured, or found dead unless he has
committed suicide in the sea.
The Sheriff summoned a Jury,
who, after an investigation, return
ed a ver'Met to the effect that the
deceased came to her death from a
stab in the left side inflicted by the
hand of one Fukuliaro, Japanese.
SHE CHANGED HER MIND.
He had . pleaded his love and
stated the amount of his salary per
week, and she had turned him down.
She said the per wasn't enough to
buy her clothes, let alone meeting
other expenses. ..'
It was a sad blow, and he stum
bled down the steps with tears in
his eyes. I lis twiner met him and
took him off to his room and sang
lullaby songs till he slept. When
morning came he was rublied down
and prepared for the Marathon. He
shut his teeth together and said he
would win it to spite the 'one who
had delivered the almost fatal blow.
It got about that he was 'a thrown
down man, and the odds were ten
to one against him. lie cared not.
He simply braced the mure. Half
way through the race he stumbled
and the odds went to twenty. Again
his pumping-machinc seemed to give
out and they rose to fully. But when
the goal came in sight at last the
thrown darted forward, picked up
uiie rival after another and came
under the wire a half a nose ahead.
"Charlie," murmured a voice in
his ear as as they were rubbing him
down with seven kinds of liniment.
"Why you here, Edith?" he re
plied. "Charlie, we will Ik- married next
week if you wish.''
"But you refused me only last
"Yes, but I was tailoring under
the impression that you were a bank
clerk on $25 icr week instead of be
ing a young man of legs and wind.
Set a day, Charlie dear. Half a
nose ahead; I shall exiect you at
the usual hour this evening.''
"But what almut this guest at
Green's? How are you judging that
he is some gn at and rich man?"
"Because, stranger," replied the
old man as he droped his voice t
a pitch of contidcnci "liecausc he
can afford to wear a pair of yaller
shoes every day in the week!"
The Scientist My dear sir, a
theory is the must valuable thing in
The Politician It is, until you
try to do something useful with it.
Fine Job Printing at, tho
Maui Publishing Co.
I Just Enough i
Many people need nouiNhment a n I Stout is rccom
iiii'ikIihI liy very prominent physicians. For this parti
cular trade we have imiiortcd it in half-pints, just
enough iilld no more. Nu wasti . We have also just
received a consignment dl' Lexington Club
Whiskey in hulk :uuf in bottles. Thin is none
Maui Wine & Liquor Co.
tfJUilklltUiJUJUlU 1UMUIUIUU IWlUUiiUlUiUlUllUUll MlUe!
The Beer that's Brewed
to Suit the Climate.
Editor Chose Crooked
Swords at 80 Yards.
Berlin, July .'1. A good deal of
ridicule is being expended here on a
fire-eating duelist named Kramer,
an nfliccrof the Reserve, who has
hit on the happy expedient of ex
empting a second from the punish
ment .vhich the German law metes
out to Imth challenger and cartel
Jvraincr, who had felt himscK in
sulted by an article in the "Licp
ziger Volkseltuyg, " ikteriniucd to
challenge the editor, and did su,
sending his letter registered through
the jxist instead of sending his chal
lenger in the guud old-fashioned
way. In his letter Kramer de
mands an answer, trim his antago
nist within twelve hours, also per
The Socialist editor, of course,
was delighted to procure such ex
cellent copy, and published Kram
ers' letter in full, agreeing to 'meet
him on condition that crooked
swords were employed, and that
the principals stood eighty paces
apart; otherwise, he added, some
thing might happen.
Caruso Laughs at
Loss of Voice Report.
Paris, July 15. Caruso is just back
from Italy, looking happy over his
new contract of five years with. the
Mctrupulitan Optra House. lie
lunched with "The Examiner" cor
respondent at the Cafe de Paris.
When the giu sts of the restaurant
recognized Caruso, which they did
by bis modest demeanor, they came
up in crowds to shake hands with
him and wish him good.
Caruso told them how good he
"What rot is written in America,'
he said, "about my voice failing.
All is untrue; nothing is wrung with
my voice except it needed rest, so 1
put it in cold storage for a whilr
and thcll Went to Florence, where
I simply forgot I had u voice. I
never sung a note until the other
night I cut loose my voice for Gatti
Cazaza and Kahn."
Caruso did not say that he envied
Gatti-Ca.aza ami Kahu ihe opjxir
tuuity to hear him on that occasion,
but his friends said it for him.
"My Voice needed rest less than 1
did," Caruso went on, "alter the
strenuous life in your dear America.
Now Caruso is himself again. I am
my own severest critic, and I say I
myself was pleased with the way I
sang the other night fur Gatti-Cazaza-
Need I say more?''
Caruso's first public appearance.
ill be made at the Kursaal of
Ostcinl, where he will give three
concerts. Later he will tour in Ire
land ami England, beginning in
Dublin. Caruso smoked cigarettes
during the entire luncheon and
drew clever caricatures of the jieople
who came and went in the rest-i li
ra nt .
LOCAL NOTICE TO MARINERS.
Honolulu, T- II. July 13, U0!1.
The following affects the List of
Lights, Buoys, and Daymarks,
Twelfth Light-House Stihilislrict,
l'.MI'.l, page i:;.
Maui Island-N'ly sidc-Wailuku
Coast Spartan Reef Bell Buoy, 1, to
be ofablishcd. On or almut Septem
ber 1, a It 11 buoy will Ik- establish
ed, in almut 1 I fathoms of water,
to mark Spartan Reef, E'ly side of .
approach to Kahului Harbor. Bear
Tangent to l'uniawa Point, 7liJ
(N E by E I K Mag.)
Puuncnc Hill, 155 (SE 15-10 S
Kahului Break water end 212u
(SW .-)-.S W Mag.)
Maui Island-N'ly side Wailuku
Coast-Waihee Reef Whistling Buoy,
2, to be established. On or almut
September 1, a whistling buoy will
lie established, in almut 17 fathoms
of water, to mark Waihee Reef,
W'ly side of approach to Kahului
Harbor. Bearings approximate:
Tangent to l'uniawa Point, tt5
(E 7-Hi N Mag.)
Puuncnc Hill, 125 (SE by E
Kahului Breakwater end, loltj
(SSE 11-1U E Mag.)
By ordcruf the Light-House Board.
V. S. HOUSTON'
Lieutenant, U. S. N.
Asr-i.-tant to the Inspector, 12th
L. II. District.
K killed Driver
licm.on-inlc Rut cm
lincfct Cur in lie rent wer lectin
TELLIMIONL VOUli CALLS.