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THE MAUI NEWS, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 3, 1910
THE POET AND
. THE PEASANT.
Story With Two Morals From
Which to Make Selection.
By O. HENRY.
tCopyright. 1910, by Doubledny. Pnpe A
The other duy a poet friend of mine,
who litis lived In close communion
with nature all his life, wrote a poem
and took It to an editor.
It was a living pastoral, full of the
genuine breath of the fields, the song
of birds and the pleasant chatter of
When the poet called again to see
about It, with hopes of a beefsteak
dinner in his heart. It was banded back
to bim with the comment:
Several of us met over spaghetti and
Dutchess county rbinnti and swal
lowed indignation with the slippery
And there we dug a pit for the edi
tor. With us was Conant. a well ar
rived writer of Option, a man who bad
trod on asphalt all bis life and who
"TOO THICK, PAIS," HB SAID CRITIOALLY
had never looked upon bucolic scenes
except with sensations of disgust from
the windows of express trains.
Conant wrote a poem and called It
"The Doe and the Brook.,' It was a
fine specimen of the kind of work you
would ' expect from a poet who bad
strayed with Amaryllis oity as- far as
the florist's windows hose sole
ornithological discussion naa been car
ried on with a waiter. .' Conant signed
this poem, and we sent it to the same
But this has very Uttle to do with
Just as the editor was reading the
first line of the poem on the next
morning a being stumbled off the West
Shore ferryboat and loped slowly up
The invader was a young man with
light blue eyes, a hanging Up and hair
the exact color of the little orphan's
(afterward discovered to be the earl's
daughter) in one of Mr. Blaney's plays.
His trousers were corduroy, his coat
short sleeved, with buttons in the mid
dle of bis back. One boot leg was out
side the corduroys. You looked ex
pectantly, though In vain, at his straw
hat for ear holes, its shape inaugurat
ing the suspicion that it bad been rav
aged from a former equine possessor.
In his band was a valise. Description
of it is an impossible task. A Boston
man would not have carried his lunch
and lawbooks to his office in It And
above one ear, in bis hair, was a wisp
of bay the rustic's letter of credit, his
badge of Innocence, the last clinging
touch of the garden of Eden linger
ing to shame tbe gold brick men.
. Knowingly, smilingly, tbe city crowds
passed him by. They saw the raw
straneer stand in the gutter and
stretch his neck at the tall buildings,
At this they ceased to smile and even
to look at blm. It had been done so
often. A few glanced at tbe antique
valise to see what Coney "attraction"
or brand of chewing gum he might be
thus dinning into his memory. But for
the most part be was Ignored. Even
the newsboys looked bored , when he
scampered like a circus clown out of
the way of cabs and street cars.
At Eighth avenue stood "Bunko
Harry,' wltb his dyed mustache and
shiny, good natured eyes. Ilarry was
too good an artist not to be pained at
the sicht of an actor overdoing bis
part. He edged up to the countryman,
who bad stopped to open his mouth at
a lewelry store window, and shook bis
"Too thick, pal," be said critically
"too thick by a couple of inches.
don't know what your lay is. but
you've got the properties on too thick.
That bay, now why, they don't even
allow that on Proctor's circuit any
- "I don't understand you, mister,
said tbe green one. "I'm not lookin
for any circus. I've Just run down
from Ulster county to look at tbe town.
beln' that the baytn's over with. Gosh,
but lfs a whopper! I thought Pough
keepsle was some punkins, but this
tiere town is five times as big."
"Oh, well." said "Bunko Harry."
raising bis eyebrows. "1 didn't mean
to butt in. You don't bave to tell. I
thought you oucht to tone down a lit
tle, so I tried to put you wise. Wish
yon succeed at your graft, whatever
it is. Come and have a drink, any
how" "1 wouldn't mind bavin' a glass of
lnger beer," acknowledged the other.
They went to a cafe frequented by
men wltb smontb faces and shifty eyes
and sat at their drinks.
'I'm glnd 1 come across you, mis
ter." said lln.vlooks. "Uow'd yon like
to play a iriune or two of seven up?
I've got l he keerds."
He fished the in out of Noab's valise
a rare, inimitable deck, greasy with
bacon suppers and grimy with tbe soil
Runko Harry" laughed loud and
Not for me. sport," he said firmly.
"t don't go against that makeup of
yours for a rent. But 1 still say you've
overdoue It. The Kubes haven't dress
ed like that since '70. I doubt if yon
could work Brooklyn for a key wind
ing watch with that layout"
"Oh, you needn't think I ain't got
the money." boasted Haylocks. He
drew forth a tightly rolled mass of
bills as large as a teacVp and laid it on
the table. '
Got t hat for my share of grandmoth
er s farm. . he announced. "There s
$950 in that roll. Tbougbt I'd come to
the city and look around for a likely
business to go Into."
"Bunko Harry" took up the roll of
money and looked at It with almost re
spect in bis smiling eyes.
"I've seen worse." be said critically.
But you'll never do it in them clothes.
You want to get light tan shoes and a
black suit and a straw bat with a col
ored band and talk a good deal about
Pittsburg and freight differentials and
drink sherry for breakfast in order
to work off phony stuff like that"
What's his line?" asked two or
three shifty eyed men of "Bunko
Harry" after Haylocks bad gathered
up bis impugned money and departed.
The queer, I guess," said Harry, "or
some guy with a new graft. He's too
much hayseed. Maybe that his I won
der now oh. no. it couldn't bave been
Haylocks wandered on. Thirst prob
ably assailed bim again, for be dived
Into a dark groggery on a side street
and bought beer. Several sinister fel
lows hung upon one end of the bar.
At first sight of him their eyes bright
ened, but when his insistent and ex
aggerated rusticity became apparent
their expressions changed to wary sus
naylorks swung bis valise across tbe
Keep that awhile for me. mister,"
be said, chewiug at tbe end of a vir
ulent claybauk cigar. "I'll be back
after 1 knock around a spell. And
keep your eye on it. for there's $950
Inside of it. though maybe you
wouldn't think so to look at me."
Somewhere outside a phonograph
struck up a band piece, and Haylocks
was off for it, bis coattail buttons
flopping in the middle of bis back.
"Divvy, Mike." said the men hang
ing upon the bar, winking openly at
"Honest, now." said tbe bartender.
kicking tbe valise to one side. "You
don't think I'd fall to that, do you?
Anybody can see he ain't no Jay one
of McAdoo's come-on squad. I guess.
He's a shine" if he made bimself up.
There ain't no parts of tbe country
now where they dress l&e that."
When Haylocks bad exhausted the
resources of Mr. Edison to amuse be
returned for his valise. And then
dotfn Broadway he gallivanted, cull
ing the sights with his eager blue eyes.
But stilt and evermore Broadway re
jected blm with curt glances and sar
donic smiles. He was the oldest of the
"gags" that tbe city must endure. He
was so flagrantly impossible, so ultra
rustic, so exaggerated beyond the most
freakish products of tbe barnyard, tbe
bay field and tbe vaudeville stage that
be excited ouly weariness and sus
picion. And tbe wisp of hay in his
bair was so genuine, so fresh and
redolent of tbe meadows, so clamor
ously mral that even a shell game man
would have put up bis peas and fold
ed his table at tbe sight of It.
naylocks seated himself upon a flight
of stone steps and ouce more exhumed
his roll of yellow backs from tbe va
lise. Tbe outer one, a twenty, he
shucked off and beckoned to a news
"Son." said be. "run somewhere and
get this changed for me. I'm mighty
nigb out of chicken feed. I guess you'll
get a nickel If you'll hurry up."
A hurt look appeared through tbe
dirt on the newsy's face.
"Aw, watchert'ink! G'wan and get
yer funny bill changed yerself. Dey
ain't no farm clothes yer got on
G'wan wit yer stage money."
On a corner louuged a keen eyed
steerer for a gambling house. He saw
Haylocks. and bis expression suddenly
grew cold and virtuous.
"Mister." said the rural one, "I've
beard of places In tbis here town
where a fellow could have a good
came of old sledge or peg a card at
keno. I got $050 iu this valise, and I
come down from old Ulster to see tbe
sights. Kuow where a fellow could
get action on about nine or ten dollars?
I'm goln to bave'some sport, and then
maybe I'll buy out a business of some
The steerer looked pained and inves
tigated a white speck ou his tjit fore
"Cheese It. old man," be murmured,
reproachfully. "Tbe central office must
be bughouse to send you out look
ing like such a gillie. You couldn't
get within two blocks of a sidewalk
crap game In them Tony Pastor props.
The recent Mr. Scotty from Death
valley has got you beat a crosstown
block in. tbe way of Elizabethan scen
ery and mechanical accessories. Let It
be sVlddoo for yours. Nay. I know of
Do gilded hulls where oue may bet a
patrol wagon on tbe ace."
Rebuffed agalu by the great city that
Is so swift to detect artificialities. Hay
locks sat upon tbe curb and presented
his thoughts to bold a conference.
"It's my clothes," said he. "durned
If It ain't They think I'm a hayseed
and won't bave nothln' to do with me.
Nobody never made fun of this bat in
Ulster county. I guess if you want
folks to notice you in New York you
must dress up like they do."
So Haylocks went shopping in tbe
bazaars where men spake through
their noses and rubbed their hands
and ran the tape line ecstatically over
the bulge in bis Inside pocket where
reposed a red nubbin of corn with an
even number of rows. ' And messen
gers bearing parcels and boxes stream
ed to his hotel on Broadway within the
lights of Long Acre. -
At 9 o'clock In the evening one de
scended to the sidewalk whom Ulster
county would bave forsworn. Bright
tan were bis shoes, his hat tbe latest
block. His light gray trousers were
deeply creased, and a gay blue silk
handkerchief flapped from tbe breast
pocket of his elegant English walking
coat His collar might bave graced a
laundry window. His blond balr was
trimmed close. The wisp of hay war
For an instant be stood, resplendent.
with tbe leisurely air of a boulevardler
concocting in his mind tbe route for
his evening pleasures. And then he
turned down tbe gay. bright street
wltb the easy and graceful tread of a
But in tbe instant that he had paus
ed the wisest and keenest eyes in the
city had enveloped him in their field
of vision. A stout man with gray eyes
picked two of bis friends with a lift
of bis eyebrows from the row of loung
ers in front of the hotel.
"The Juiciest Jay I've seen In six
months," said tbe man with gray
eyes. "Come along."
It was 11:30 when a man galloped
into, the West Forty-seventh street po
lice station wltb tbe story of bis
'Nine hundred and fifty dollars," he
gasped, "all my share of grandmoth
The desk sergeant wrung from him
the name Jabez Bulltongue of Locust
Valley farm. Ulster county, and then
began to take descriptions of the
strong arm gentlemen.
When Conant went to see tbe editor
about tbe fate of his poem be was re
ceived over the bead of the office boy
into the Inner office that Is decorated
with the statuettes by Rodin and J. G.
When I ead the first line of The
Doe and tbe Brook.'" said tbe editor,
"I knew It to be tbe work of one
whose life bad been heart to heart
with nature. Tbe finished art of the
line did not blind me to that fact To
use a somewhat homely comparison
It was as If a wild, free oblld of the
woods and fields were to don the garb
of fashion and walk down Broadway.
Beneath tbe apparel the man would
"Thanks," said Conant "I suppose
the check will be round on Thursday,
Tbe morals of this story have some
how got mixed. You can take your
choice of "Stay on the farm" or "Don't
A Plantation Joker.
It Is hoped tbe following will be
taken for what it is worth. It Is not
patented and may be used by after
dinner sneakers, provided they will
give credit to Adam's diary.
A darky in the south who was doing
a Uttle blasting Just outside the bouse
had borrowed a stick of dynamite from
one of bis white neighbors, promising
to return It as soon as the explosion
was over. So careful was be of the
explosive that be put it away in the
house, and when It came time to put
It into operation he forgot where it
was. After bunting for some time be
approached one of bis daughters and
"Say. yo' Christobel, does yo' know
wbar I done laid dat yar stick of gun
"No. sah," said she, "but Dinah
might." Boston Herald.
rcCIRST JAY I'VBS MEN
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go into effect July 1st, 1909.
No 4 j No. 5
P. M. ' A.
': - A:;.S - i:; - :vi -
Notice to Candidates).
Notice is hereby given that all candf' V
dates for County election hall file with
the County Olerk an itemized statement .
of their election expenses not litter tUtr ,'r "
4:00 o'clock P.M. Tuesday November
-71 ., t
WM. V. KAAi f .
County Clerk, County of MauV't
Carriage and Antomotjb
Corner Market and Main St.. Wailuktt
MULES FOR S
lly each trip of the S. S. --EnWfil H
prise we are receiving a iresn supply 1,5 -.-
r.. - 1 a -a
i. . 1
of California Horses
Write for costs, stating Bisei
of animals wanted. We utei handv'v!
ling only young and sound aniniaU '-v
and are in a position' to give y0tthfvy
best price and finest of stock ' , -i
Volcano Stables & Transportation Cfcf;-'
LODGE MAUI, No. 88-4, A. F&. tyt
1 ' .-
Stated meetings will be helq
Masonic Hall, Kahului, on thoV ..
Saturday night of each month atr '
P- M. .Jf
Visiting brethren are cordialm '1
vited to attend. . f
J. N. S. WILLIAMS It. w?uV
t. f. Secretary, j
ALOHA LODGE NO. 3 KNIGHTS
Regular meetings will be. held at the .
Kuiyhts of Pythias Hail, Wail uVu' oa the'"
second and fourth Saturdays of,.
mouth. ',. ' '..
All viMting members are'otm'
vited to attend.
h. M. MALI) WIN, C.
JOHN J. WALSH.
, -' '