Newspaper Page Text
THE MAUI NEWS, SATURDAY, APRIL 1, 1911
It Didn't Mean What Mr. Tomson
By F. A. MITCHEL.
tCopyrljtht, MIO, by American Press Asso
I alius beered dat de mllllflerouB
time wid married people wa' de hon
Somep'n happen one day to gib me
ome spertence 'bout dls j-ere honey
moon. One mawnln' I wa drlvlni ma
spress wagon, takln' some trunks
fom one house to anodder house out
to de country, when I pass by de fa'm
ob my frien', Pete Johnslng. , Tete wa'
only twenty-eight years oid an' a
might' fine nigga. He had saved up
he money and bought a beautiful
fa'm, wid a good house on It an
plenty ob stock an' de tools fo' farm
to'. "Mista Johnslng," I says, says I,
"yo got de nices' leetle fa'm In de
county well stocked, two mules and a
cow, besides yo' chickens. Yo ought
to be might" thankful to de Lawd,
Mlsta Johnslng, to de blessln's he's
heaped on yo'."
Pete, who wa' a-leanin' on his boo
look In' kind o' solium, he says, saya
"Mista Tomson, yo' don reckon on my
wo'kln' dls yere fa'm all alone. I halnt
got no one to cook a meal's vittals fo'
me; I hab to mak' up ma bed in de
mawln' maself, an' git ma own suppa'.
Den I sets - all alone till bedtime.
Halnt no house mo' near'n a mile away,
an' hits might' lonesome. Fus' fing
I know, somep'n crack like a pistol,
an' I Jump; den I hear somp'n slngin
outside Jes like a h'a'nt wa' goln toy.
Atter dat de do' blow op'n all on a
auddent an' out go de candle. I musf
up courage to slam de do' shet an' lock
It; den I go cober up ma face wid de
bedclothes. No, Mlsta Tomson, de
blessln's de Lawd hab settled on me
halnt wha' dey cracked up to be."
Wha' I betteh done was t' punch
Bob wid de stump of de whip an' git
'long. It must 'a' bin de debbel dat
made me say somep'n wha' got me all
mixed up In udder people's doln's.
"Mlsta Johnslng,' I says, says 1,
"why don' yo' git a wife fo f keep
. Pete tuk de hoe In de udder ban' an'
stood on de udder leg an' looked up to
hebben s If he wa' ezpectln' f see
"I HOPB 'TWOK'T MAK' Y& HAID AOHS,
one ob de angels done come down fo
f marry him. Ennyhow, he wa' doln'
up a pow'ful job of t'lnkin', an' he
says, says he:
"Mlsta Tomson, how cum yo halnt
got no wife yo'self?"
An' I says, says I, scratchln' ma
bald, "Mlsta Johnslng, I don' git lone
Pete, he do some more t'lnkin', an'
he says, says he, "Mlsta Tomson, do
yo' know enny likely gal dat would
come to yere an' be a comfo't to me?"
De debbel wa' a settlfl beside me
ready to whisper to my ea', an' he said,
"Tell him 'bout Mandy Jones," an' I
aid, says I:
"Yes, Mlsta Johnslng, I does know
a likely gal, an' I'm t'lnkin' she would
like to git maarled. I've knowed her
eber since she wa' a plckanniny, an' I
kin recommend her fo' cook In' an'
washln' an' all dem flngs wha' are
necessary fo' de comfort ob de home."
An' Mlsta Johnslng he looked at me
kind a ha'd, an' he says, says he, "Mls
ta Tomson, ef yo' know all dls 'bout
de gal how cum yo' don' marry her
Dat wa' a might ha'd question fo'
f answer. I scratched ma hald ag'ln
an' said, "Didn' I tole yo' I wa'n't
"Maybe she won marry yo," he
"Don' know nuttto Twut dat," I said.
"I nebber axed her."
Well, I sat dor to de wagon talkln'
f Pete Johnslng fo' an hour o mo', an'
I made it up dat I gwlne to do him an'
Mandy a favor. I wa' f tell Mandy
dat a might fine nigga wid a fa'm
wa wantto' a wife, an' I wa f tell
Pete dat a might fine gal wanted a
husban', but Pete done knowed dat al
ready, an' I wa' to bring 'em togedder.
- De debbel wa layln' fo' me, dlssuad
to' me to mix maself up to udder peo
ple's business, an' when he done made
me promise dls be done climb down
off de seat an went away chucklln'.
I drlv on, t'Ukln' what a fine fing I
wa' gwlne to do fo Pete Johnslng an'
Blmeby Pete Johnslng he marry
Mandy Jones. I wa' at de weddln'
maself. I didn't say nuttto', but when
fl -- "
de woomen folks look at me an' say,
"Mistn Tomson, I lienrn yo' made dls
ttintf.lt nn "U. tn T ,1 - .
I an' de bride ouirht t' ho lx-rrv tlinnk.
fu' to you fo' brlngln 'em togedder,"
I felt might proud o maself an went
roiin Jls s if I wa' at a cake walk.
Atter de cemmermony Pete come up
to me lookln' 's If somebody 'd doused
a bucket o' Joy nil ober him, an' he
says, says he, "Mlsta Tomson, dis am
de happiest day o' ma life, an' I
reckon yo' gwlne done 't all." An'
Mnndy she so hnppy she jis put her
arms ' bout ma neck, an' she say,
"How I gwlne thank yo' nnf fo gib
bin' me slch a might' fine hus'ban'J"
I tell yo' I wa de cock o' de walk at
Eberybody tole me dat since I'd been
de cause ob he maarin' I mus' make
a call. I axed Mrs. SprlgRln's when
de proper time come to mak de call,
an' she said atter de honevmnon wa'-
ober. I axed her when de honeymoon
wa' ober, an' she says, says she:
"I dunno. Wid some I spec hit's
ober might soon; wid udders dey keep
on flghtin fight along." ,
"Yo mean lubbln'," I says, says I,
t'lnkin' she wa' funnln'.
"Yo bette' go git married yo'self.
Den yo'll know." And she went off
I didn't fink nuttln' bont dis: lint
seein' I didn't know when de honey
moon war ober, I lis' concluded I'd eo
mak' de call anyway. It wa' two
weens atter de weddln'. an' I beam.
as I said, dat de honeymoon las' a
month. But I didn't keer. I jls put
on de clothes Cunnel Annleton irlb mi.
an I went to de Johnslng fa'm. I
walked along t'dnkln ef I mak' Pete
so happy why I not gwlne to mak'
maseii nappy de same way. I wa'
t'lnkin' ober de cals dat I knowed
wha' would mnk' me as Joyful as
Mandy made Pete when I Dut ma hand
on de gate ob dere home. I hearn
somep'n gd bang agin de do'. Den I
didn' heah enny mo', an' I gwlne up
V do do' an' knocked. Nobody didn'
ax me to come in, so I lla' oDened de
Pete Wn' a-Standin' bv de hennrr.
scowlin', an' Mandy by de -stove. look-
In' like de cloud comin' befo' de hur
"I thought I hearn . somen'n Aran"
I says, says I. v
'Beckon yo did heah Romon'n
drap," says Pete, says he. "Mandy Jes'
done frow a flatiron at-me."
"Wha' fo'. Mista Tomson." said Mnn
dy, said she, "yo go tie me up wid
a man lak dat? Befo' yo' brought me
an' Pete togedder I wa' happy as de
day wa' long, slngin' an'' laughin' lak
a leetle kitten. An' now'
"De claws done Browed." da hnahnn1
Mandy grab anudder flatiron nV
frow It at Pete. Pete 'done dodged
behln' me. an' fus' t'imr I knowed I
didn' know nothln. When I did know
somep'n I wa lyln on de bed; Pete
wa' a-swabbin' ma haid. an' Manrlv
wa' a-moppin' up ma blood on de flo'.
-augur nne way," says Pete, says
he, "to treat to' atter vo' make voWlf
a go-between to get her a husban."
Mista Johnslng," says I. I says,
'de next couple I's a eo-between fo'
atter I done it I won't come back ho
soon. I rudder be between 'em when
dey's doln' de cot!n' dan durin de
honeymoon when de flatirons is flyin'."
"Sarves yo rluht." snvs Mandv. nova
she, "fo makln' a match between a
lnnercent leetle gal an' a low down
I put ma han ud to ma haid an'
felt de bones. De flatiron done struck
It SQUare. but ma haid didn't mind a
leetle t'lng lak dat 'cept fo' de blood,
so i git up an' I says, says I:
"Mlsta an' Mrs. Johnslnir. nlpnsn nv.
cep' ma apology fo' callin befo' de
honeymoon done gone. I Jes' allowed
Pd come an' see how happy yo' wa
togedder, but I reckon I called too
soon. When de mules Is fus' nut in
harness togedder befo' dev-done broke
In dey miirht' fractious. RnmHma
dey kick in de dashboard, an' I hab
Knowea 'em to smash de wagon Into
klndlin' wood. Dat's when de driver
better keen awav from d hnela nh
bofe ob 'em."
"Better not try to drive em toged
der In de fus' place," said Mandy.
Mrs. Johnslng." savs I. I sava. "ef
I'd 'a' knowed yo' had da dehhla in
yo' heels I wouldn't 'a' recommended
yo. An' Mlsta Johnslnir." I contin
ued, "ef I'd a knowed"
I Saw MandV reach In' fo nnnriiW
flatiron. I J Ik I had time-to dodge. '
-vviia' to' yo" gwlne say dat agin
"Wha' I gwlne sav i ne-in vo hna-
"Wha' yo' wa gwlne t' say."
"Ef yo'll let me finish I'll ea on. I
wa' gwlne to sav when vo" nut In da
flatiron Interjection dat ef I'd 'a'
knowea wha' was it I knowed?"
"I know," says Pete, savs he "dat
only a low down nigga '11 butt In. be
tween husban' an' wife-befo' de hon
"An' dey hain't sot used to da lava
taps," Mandy tucked on.
"Didn' I apolocize?" I tucked on to
dat M12f yo' kin Bpa'e a towel to
wrap around my haid wha' de love
lap struck me instead ob yo' husban'
I'll go way an' not eoma hnrb Bir'ln
till de honeymoon's done gone entire
Mandy she done wran a towel ober
de place wbu' de sha'p edge' ob de
natiron cut de scalp, an' as I went
out she says:
"I hope 'twon't mak' yo hald.aehe.
Mlsta Tomson. Good by! Call anud
der time atter we done git settled."
When I got to de gate I looked back
to say somep'n perlite. an" dem two
nlggas wa' makln' up. kissln' each ud
I reckoned atter all I wouldn't hrv
git tin' maarled maself. It Is too much
wok glttin' through de honeymoon.
Feeling a Part
By REGINALD D. HAVEN
Copyright, 1910. by American Press
"1 never did but one good act In my
life," said the old counterfeiter. "There
wasn't much credit in It to me, but It
was productive of a lot of happiness to
others. It occurred many years sgo,
and as I am now a very old man and
have a very long, troubled life to look
back upon, including several terms In
the penitentiary. It stands out from the
rest of my acts In odd contrast
"It was in the summer of 1859 that
several of us got together In a north
ern city and manufactured a number
of twenty dollar counterfeit bills. As
soon as we bad finished the Job we
destroyed the outfit, divided the bills
and started for different parts of the
country to put them out on the public,
my section being the south. Boarding'
one of the crack steamers of that day,
I stnrted for New Orleans. In order
the better to impose on people 1 dress
ed myself In ministerial black and
wore a white cravat I had been an
actor and could personate a clergyman,
or any one else, for that matter, to
"The main Cabin of the steamers run
ning on the Mississippi river in those
days, when the table was not set for
meals, was occupied principally for
gambling. Poker, seven-up. euchre and
other games were played, though the
parties pluylng were not large and of
ten two persons only occupied a table.
I was sitting on the guards one day
when a negro came out of the cabin,
wringing his hands.
" 'What's the matter, boy? I asked.
" 'Mars' done gone lose me to a nlg
gah trader. Ma wife an' pickaninnies
won't nebber see me no mo'.'
"I found that his master, a planter,
had taken blm to Cairo as his body
servant was returning, had lost all
the money he bod with him at cards,
staked his darky and lost him too.
I went Into the cabin, where the plant
er and the trader were settling up,
the planter being at the moment occu
pied In making out a bill of sale for
"'I beg your pardon, sir,' 1 said to
the planter. 'On account of my voca
tion I am opposed, of course, to gam
bling to any form,, but I dislike ex
ceedingly the separation of famines.
I understand that you have 'lost your
negro. I would be pleased to lend you
the money to win him back.'
"The gentleman accepted the offer.
I brought out some new, crisp bills,
Just from the press, and the game
started anew. It was euchre. I soon
saw that the gambler could go on
winning from the trader all day if he
liked, for the former was perpetrating
one of the commonest tricks on him
that Is, 'turning Jack.' In other words,
when he dealt he would always turn
up a knave for himself. Seeing this
and other cheating. I Interfered, I
told him that I had learned the game
before becoming a clergyman and In
sisted on taking the planter's place.
Since I was backing the latter he was
obliged to yield to me In the matter,
which he did with a bad grace.
"1 bad not only learned the game
before becoming a clergyman," but
all the tricks that went with It and
many other games. I walked Into that
card sharper in a way that opened his
eyes. The negro at stake had follow
ed me Into the uabln and was standing
watching the game with bulging eyes.
It was hard for me to keep a straight
face, playing as I was, a supposed min
ister of the gospel, with counterfeit
money and doing as neat bits of thim
blerigging as bad ever been prac
ticed on that palatial steamboat The
negro trader was not a professional
card sharper, though he didn't hesitate
to cheat the planter, and never dream
ed that the somber man before him to
a spotless white necktie was placing
the cards exactly where he wanted
"Of course I soon won the darky
for bis master. Then I arose from the
table, delivered a homily on the sin of
gambling and returned to the guards.
I was followed by the planter, who
said to me:
" 'Pe'mlt me. sun, to say to yo that
yo're the first man of the cloth that
has eveb obtained my unbounded, re
spect sun. Yo' have saved my boy,
sub, from being separated from his
wife and children, an act fo which I
would have been to blame. I have
sufficient Influence, suh, to control a
call to the First Baptist church of ,
Mississippi If yo will accept it It
shall be yo's with a fat salary.'
"I thanked the gentleman for bis of
fer, but declined It When we reach
ed his landing be insisted so heartily
upon my visiting blm at his planta
tion that I consented,
I was made welcome by bis family,
and the wife and children of the negro
I bad saved from the trader came to
the bouse with tears to their eyes to
thank me. I was a good looking young
fellow to those days and could see
that I made an Impression on one of
the planter's daughters. I bad every
thing at my disposal to perpetrate any
rascality I might choose. I could get
tbe planter's Indorsement which would
enable me to dispose of my 'green
goods,' and I believed I could win his
"I did neither. For a brief season I
enjoyed the sensation of being a fine
fellow. During that time I permitted
myself to feel tbe part Just as an actor
will feel tbe character be Is personat
ing. Then when it was over I depart
ed, resisting with difficulty the re
proachful look of the girl who favored
me, and as soon as I was on another
boat was again a dog of a counterfeiter."
Be It Resolved by the Board of Super
visors of tbe County of Maui, Territory
of Hawaii, that the floor space of the
Wailuku Market be divided into four
stalls of Six tables each, a passage-way of
approximately six feet to run through
the center of said market from north to
south; that said stalls be designated slid
known as numbers i, 2, 3 and 4; numbers
1 and 2, in the order named, being near
est the Market Street entrance; and
Be it further Resolved that the follow
ing schedules of rates for the use of
stalls and tables In said market be, and
the same hereby are, established:
Stall No. 1, per month f 25.00
" " a, " " 25.00
" " 3. " " 20.00
" " 4. " " 20.00
Tables In Stall No. 1, permonth... 5.00
" " " a, " " ... 5.00
" " " 3. " " - 4 00
" " " " 4. " " ... 4.00
Tables per day 1.00
For more than one clay and not more
than five days 50 cents per day.
For over five days and not more than
ten days, 30 cents per day.
All charges for rental of stalls and
tables payable in advance to the District
Overseer of Wailuku District; the Food
Inspector of said District to assume and
have general oversight of the Market
and its sanitary condition.
Presented by CHAS. LAKE,
Attest: Wm. FRED KAAE,
March 18, 25, April 1.
Sealed tenders will be received by the
Board of Supervisors of the County of
Maui up to Thursday, April 13, 191 1. at
4:30 P. M., and then opened for the con
struction of two concrete bridges in the
District of Hana.
Plans and specifications may be had of
the undersigned at his office in Wailuku
upon making a deposit of $ 5.00, which
will be refunded upon their return.
No tender will be entertained by the
Board unless made out upon the blank
forms, and enclosed in the envelopes,
sealed, furnished by the undersigned,
nor unless accompanied by a certified
check or certificate of deposit drawn up
on a bank or trust company doing busi
ness in this Territory, in an amount
equal to 5 of the amount of tender.
The Board reserves the right to reject
any or all bids.
By order of the Board of Supervisors
of the County of Maui.
March 18, 35, April I.
IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE
SECOND JUDICIAL CIRCUIT, TER
RITORY OF HAWAII. 1
In the matter of the estate of Antone
Gonsalves Teixeira, late of Wailuku,
NOTICE TO CREDITORS.
Notice is hereby given to all persons
having claitnsagainst the estate of Antone
Gonsalves Teixeira, late of Wailuku,
County of Maui, Territory of Hawaii, to
present same duly authenticated and with
proper vouchers, if such exist, to either
Arcena Teixeira, executrix of said estate
or her attorneys, D, H. Case and Enos
Vincent, of Wailuku, Maui, within six
months from date of publication of this
notice, or payment thereof will be for
Dated at Wailuku this 8th day of Mar.,
ARCENA TEIXEIRA, Executrix.
D. H. Case, and Enos Vincent, her
Attorneys. Wailuku, Maui.
LODGE MAU I, No. 984, A. P. & A. M
Stated meetings will be held at
Masonic Hall, Kaliului, on the first
Saturday night of each month ut 7.30
Visiting brethren are cordially in
vlted to attend.
F. P. UOSECIIANS R. W. M."
. BENJAMIN WILLIAMS,
t. f. Secretary
ALOHA LODGE NO. 3 KNIGHTS
Regular meetings will be held at the
Knights of Pythias Hall, Wailuku, on the
second and fourth Saturdays of each
All visiting members are cordially in
vited to attend.
E. F. DEINERT, C. C.
W. L. WEST. K. OF R. & S.
One new single buggy and harness,
splendid bargain; rubber tires, top,
lights, curtains, etc. Inquire Maui
News Office. March 4, 11, 1 3, 25.
AUTOMATIC BALL BEARING
WOVEN WIRE FENCE
V-s-'iA- -. u af-v:
. f, ... . i ,-!.
This Machine nnikes woven galvanized wire fence on your premises
Horse High, Bull Strong, Mongoose Proof, you inspection is invit
ed of any of the different jobs completed or in course of erection on Maui.
Wailuku Tark, Wailuku Gymnasium, Knau Catholic Church, Mr. Antone
Tavares, Makawao, and many others. Satisfaction is the word wherever we
have put up this fence.
We shall be pleased to put up fences for you, or sellycu a machine. We
are sole agents for the manufacturers.
We also manufacture and import monuments, safes, etc. Designs and
and estimates furnished.
, C. AXTELL,
r. O. Box 642 1048-1050 Alakea St. Honolulu.
Uime &ableJciliuliii Slat road Co.
The following schedule will go into effect July 1st, 1909.
No. 2 i
Kahului Railroad Co.
ALEXANDER & BALDWIN. LTD. : '
ALEXANDER & BALDWIN, LTD., Line of Sailing VcbscIs between
win rrancisco aim Hawaiian l'orts;
-.MEHICAN-IIAWAIIAN STEAMSHIP CO.
MATSON NAVIGATION CO.
HONOLULU-KAHULUI-HILO and HAWAIIAN PORTS
Hyades . '.
Jan. 9 Jan. 11
Lurline , ,
Hyades . .
Lurline . .
Ilyades . .
Lurline . .
Lurline . .
Wilhelmina calls at Honolulu and Hilo.
Lurline calls at Honolulu, Kahului and Port
Houolulau calls at Honolulu, Kaauapali,
Ilyades via Pu)et Sound to Honolulu, Port
Allen, Kahului. ,
No. I, 1911
"Date for arrival at ond departure from Khulul
change without notice."
'iPV -v -fV
1-:: ' ' y I '
r I -J
. - Li
Pass. g. prt Freight Freight
No 4 No. 5 No. 6 No. 7
P. M. A. M. P. M. A. M.
3 10 9 45
3 20 . . 10 00
3 25 10 30
3 35 10 45
f5 930 ......
3. 10 15
3' 10 45
r 1 00
3 1 15
S: 1 45
Hawaliun Island Arrive lnuiira I
Arrive Leave . F. WOjagB j
Dec. 27 Jan. 4 Jan. 10 12 1
Jan. 3 Jan. 11 Jan. 21 17
Jan. 8 Jan. 18 Jan. 27 81 )
Jan. 11 Jan. 20 Jan. 28 " 30 j
Jau. 23 Jan. 31 Feb. 8 49
Jan. 24 Feb. 1 Feb. 7 13 !
Jan. 27 Feb. 4 Feb. 12 1 ',
Feb. 14 Feb. 22 Mar. 4 18
Feb. 13 Feb. 23 Mar. 5 82
Feb. 11 Feb. 21 Mar. 1 31
Mar. 6 Mar. 15 Mar. 23 50
Feb. 21 Mar. 1 Mar. 7 14 j
Feb. 28 Mar. 10 Mar. 18 2
Mar. 28 Apr. 5 Apr. 15 19 ;
Mar. 16 Mar. 25 Apr. a 32 ?
Mar. 20 Mar. 30 Apr. 9 83
Mar. 21 Mar. 29 Apr. 4 15
Arr. 1 Apr. 11 Apr. 19 3
Apr. 17 Apr. 25 May 3 51
Apr. 16 Apr. 26 May 4 33 j
Apr. 18 Apr. 26 May 2 16
Apr. 24 May 4 May 14 84 j
May 9 May 17 May 27 20 j
May 3 May 12 May 20 4 i
Hilonian via Puget Sound to Hono
lulu, Port Allen, Kahului and Hilo.
Enterprise to Hilo direct.
Freight and combustibles only.
nil Conflicting Schedules.