Newspaper Page Text
8
SOME SMALL COURTESIES.
Ignorance is Very Often the Cause
of Rudeness.
MISS PALFREY CRITICISES SOME
NEW YORK CUSTOMS.
i>lscouvtc3les of Women to Each Other
* —About Father Ignatius—At a Phot
ographers—A Rebuke to Salesmen—
Second Hands on Watches.
One of the excellent customs now in
vogue is that of not introducing meuto
each other in drawing-rooms. Whether
It is imported from England, along with
other customs and fashions, I confess I
know not, writes Miss Palfrey. And, not
being an Anglomaniac, I am not fanatic
ally fond of everything English. But this
non-introducing custom regarding men I
commend from the depths of my heart.
Men, being naturally Bohemian in their
tendencies, have a general feeling of com
radeship for all men, but women are
snubbed from prehistoric times down —
that is, most of them are —and if not
properly introduced to ench other will sit
and stare like dolls. If they would but
have the good wit to talk without waiting
for introductions, what trouble they
Wtmld save their hostesses, for during an
afternoon of short galls it is impossible
that a woman can introduce half a dozen
persons to each other, pour tea and carry
on any kind of conversation. Introduc
tions add to her duties, increase tlie for
mality of what she wishes to be an infor
mal afternoon tea. and destroy its har
mony. All this bas, apparently, been
carefully considered, and the result is the
fashion of not introducing men to each
other. They are introduced tothe women,
nnd the women to each other, and this is
quite enough.
1 am often struck with the extraordi
nary lack of courtesy between women,
and my attention has recently been
drawn to a very remarkable erase. A
friend of mine, a very charming woman,
and one who is of aristocratic birth and
great cultivation of mind and manners,
is always extremely courteous to every
one, and iv very particular about card
etiquette and returning calls. Seme
months ago there came to the apartment
house where she is living, imtl took rooms
- on the same floor, a middle-aged woman
of ladylike appearance. Knowing noth
ing of this person, and, therefore, not
(a;ing to know her particularly, but
meeting her constantly in the hall, my
friend thought it would be only courteous
to call upon her, and did so. it happened
that the lady was oat, so my friend did
not meet her, and the call has not yet
been returned, although nearly two
months have elapsed. In the meantime
thoy continue to pass each other in the
narrow hall several times daily, and to
sit cfose to each other going tip and down
in the elevator, but no word is spoken,
and no sign of recognition of a courtesy
is given. It so happens that they have
many mutual friends who call to see them
on the same day, and before the winter is
over they will meet, probably, in more
than one drawing-room.
i
Of course, not returning a first call is a
great lack of courtesy, and where the two
ladies live in the same, house it seems un
pardonable, for a want of time cannot be
oflered in excuse. And this woman w.ho
has committed the breach probably thinks
' (die knows all the rules and etiquette of
society from A to Z. If she knows better,
she is rude, but I am inclined to think
she does not know better. I really be
lieve that more than half the discourte
sies women show each other are due to
ignorance—to a lack of knowledge of the
world rather than a desire to be rude.
I live in an apartment house, and while
waiting for the elevator the other day, a
guest in the houso stood near mo and I
made some casual remark to her about
elevators, but sho showed no sign of hav
ing heard, and I know she is not deaf.
Perhaps sho thought her silence digni
fied, swell, tho proper thing. I thought
it stupidity and ignorance.
There is always a courteous way of
avoiding an intimacy, but it requires
tact. The majority of persons take hints
quickly, and dissimilarity of interests
helps to keep people apart. Two things
of which a woman of tact may make use
without giving offense. The busy life of
a great city is, also, excuse enough for de
clining invitations and for not "running
in often."
I dropped in at the Cooper Union the
other day to hear Father Ignatius, and
two well-dressed women volunteered the
information as I opened the door at the
main entrance that I would not be able to
get near the door of the room where ho
was preaching. Ono of them said that
she had heard him once and wanted to
hear him again.
I told her I knew a man who is report
ing all the services for a morning paper,
and she said:
"How splendid!"
After some further conversation, I sug
gested that she should go to tlie next
meeting as a reporter, and then sho would
be sure to get in and get a seat. She went
away without thanking me, but I am
sure she was grateful.
I did not hear Father Ignatius thatday.
As I went solely out of curiosity, and not
lrom a desire to be spiritually benefited,
1 suppose I am rightly punLshed.
Although Bishop Potter lias given his
oonsemto Father Ignatius to preach in
the churches here, but few of them have
been offered to him, and the m-.iioritv of
his services have been he'd in the small
hall m the Cooper Union, which is alto
gether too small to hold the crowds that
flock to hoar him. Evidently the Protes
tant Episcopal Church o*f America is not
very much in sympathy- with his monk
ish garb and perpetfial vows. There
seems to be a certain amount of posing
about tlie man and his methods, but
doubtless he suits severe souls. And if
the amount of good to does is to lie meas
ured by the number of pcrosns 'who go
to hear him, certain tv he and his methods
are to be commend cd.
I went through the agony or having a
photograph taken, the other day, and was
very much amused at some of the women
who were there l"\>i- the same purpose. It
is at the photographer's that a woman's
vanity may be sjen in all its strength and
glory, ior there is where she goes to have
made a counterfeit presentment of her
self, and it the counterfeit is milikc her
by reason of its being far handsomer, just
so much more is she pleased.
A young woman, with blonde hair,
prettily dressed, came to me aud asked
meit 1 had any powder. I answered no,
mentally rejoicing „iat it was ibe truth,
for with powder sho would want a powder
puff. She traveled about the room, and
pretty soon I aw her powdering her face
most elaborately before the glass. She
had never been thero before, she said, and
she did not think mnch of their toilet arti
cles. And she pie'eed up a i.iiuib and
combed her hair vigorously. She found
a hand mirror, which I had not- been able
to do, and some hairpins, and "used them
generousiy. 1 told her her l\au- looked
lovely, and sho was delightec'i. It really
did look pretty. I wanted to tell her that
nothing would induce me to use combs,
brushes, powder puffs or hairp: ns that
other persons had used, but I re trained.
The ultra fastidious are not the happiest
in the world. She wanted a good li keness;
another woman there wanted an artistic
pose, regardless of the likeness. I hope
they may get what thoy want.
A great deal has been said -about the
pertness of the shop-girls, or the sales
ladies, as I believe they p.-cfer to be
called, but no one has yet said anything
about the saiesgentlemen. They need
quite as much repremand mg, it seems to
me. as do the salesladies. I went to a
leading drygoods house >,he other day to
buy some ribbon, but the* young mau'lic
hind the counter was so intent on cutting
his finger nails that he could pay no at
tention to me, Alter w filing some miv-
utes I asked him if ho could not defer the
performance of his toilet until some other
time and wait on inc.
A friend of mine went into a well
known jeweler's shop on Union Square
and asked to see some saltcellars. The
salcsgentleman was using his toothpick
vigorously, and asked her if she meant
the kind that "you stick your knife into."
"No," she answered, "I want the kind
with which a spoon is used."
The man had the grace to appear em
barrassed, and laid aside his toothpick.
Those are first-class shops, and such
things should never occur in them. Un
fortunately, tho toothpick has become,
among a certain class, as much a part of
the dress as the necktie, the watch or the
collar and cuffs.
Apropos of jewelers, a leading watch
dealer tolls me that watches for ladies are
no longer made with second hands.
Ladies say they have no occasion for
timing races, nor for counting seconds,
and they do not care for the second hand.
I think the objection is in tho name: a
"second-hand watch" does not sound at
tractive. For my part I want the second
hand, for I like to see it go round.
Emma Abbott Opera Company.
Cuicago, Jan. 10.—The Emma Abbott
Opera Company, which accompanied the
remains of its late prima donna from
Salt Lake City to Chicago, has disbanded.
Mr. Broderick, it is said, intends to re
organize the company and till its South
ern dates.
Seth Abbott, father of the dead prima
donna, denies tho story that the opera
company has disbanded. Miss Abbott's
funeral ceremonies were held in the
Music Hall here yesterday, after which
her remains were placed in a vault in
Graeeland Cemetery.
CONGRESSIONAL.
THE FIXAXCTAE BIEE DISCUSSED
IX THE SENATE.
Tlio Army Appropriation Bill Unani
mously Reported by the House
Committee.
.Special to the Recokd-Uxion.
Wasiiinotox, Jan. 10.—In the Senate
the Vice-President laid before the Senate
a protest of twenty-three members of the
Idaho Legislature against allowing Du
bois to take his seat. It was referred to
the Committee on Privileges and Elec
tions.
Dolph, from the Committee on Public
Lands, reported tho Senate bill to amend
the railroad land forfeiture lull of last
session so as to make the period six
months for the assertion of the rights of
settlers to run not from the time of the
passage of the Act, but from tho date of
the restoration of such lands to settle
ment and sale, and after explanation was
passed.
Sherman, from tho Committee on For
eign Relations, reported tho bill to
amend the Act of February, 1889, incor
porating the Nicaragua Canal Company,
authorizing the issue of bonds guaranteed
by the United States. It was placed on
the calendar, and with the accompanying
ropoit ordered to be printed.
The Senate then resumed consideration
of the finance bill, and Morgan continued
the speech begun by him yesterday in
support of the free coinago amendment.
He soon yielded the floor temporarily,
and Dawes presented a conference report
on the bill to carry out in part tlie pro
visions of the Act to divide the Sioux In
dian reservation, anil in response to a
question by Edmunds, made an explana
tion. He said the commission, of which
General Crook was tiie head, promised
the Sioux Indians, in the course of nego
tiations, to use its influence at Washing
ton for a redress of certain grievances.
The commission subsequently met.
Forty representatives of the Sioux In
dians wero present, to sco that those out
side assurances wero carried out. The
Indian Committees of both houses were
also present, and, all being to
gether, a bill had been prepared to
carry out exactly the assurances as
the Indians understood them. The bill
passed the Senate in April last, but from
the difficulties in tho other branch of
Congress, it had not passed the House
until last month, and that it contained a
duplicate appropriation of $lfX),<XK>.
She Senate struck out that duplicate
appropriation; and hence the necessity of
a conference. As the bill now stood that
duplicate appropriation was struck out.
The bill carried out to the letter, not only
the assurances of the Commission as the
Commission understood them, but also
precisely as the Indians themselves
understood them. With tho original bill
and the pending bill all the stipulations
of agreement, and all the assurances of
the commission would be fulfilled, and
there would be no ground on which the
Indians could complain of the Govern
ment in any matter out of which the
existing disturbances had arisen.
The conference report was agreed to.
Tlie pension appropriation bill was re
ported and placed on the calendar.
Morgan then concluded his speech,
quoting extensively from one mado by
the late Senator Beck.
The flnancial bill was then laid aside,
and a message from the President was
read, forwarding a memorial of the Legis
lative Assembly of Oklahoma for an ap
propriation for the relief of destitute
people in that Territory. Referred to
the Committee on Appropriations.
Adjourned.
IN THE HOUSE.
Washington, Jan. 10.—In the House
Butterworth, from the Committee on Ap
propriations, reported the legislative ap
propriation bill, and it was placed on the
eidondar.
The House then went into Committee
of the Whole on the army appropriation
bill.
Cutcheon of Michigan, Chairman of the
Committee on Military Affairs, explained
that the bill was purely an appropriation
measure aud contained no general legis
lation whatever. The amount carried
was £400,400 more than the appropriation
for tlie current vcar.
Lanhan of Texas took occasion, in
speaking of the unanimous action of the
committee, to depreciate sectionalism.
Kerr, replying, spoke of the future of
the colored people of the South, and paid
his respects to Missouri as a State refus
ing to honor Union soldiers by electing
them to public offices.
Tarsney of Missouri entered a vigor
ous denial.
Pending further debate tho committee
rose, and eulogistic addresses ware made
to tho memory of the lato Joseph P.
Walker of Missouri.
Tho House then adjourned.
! «.
Humming Birds.
The food of humming birds consists
mainly of insects, mostly gathered from
the flowers they visit. An acute observer
writes that even among the common
flower-frequenting species he has found
the alimentary canal entirely filled with
insects and very rarely a trace of honey.
It this fact doubtless that has hindered
almost all attempts nt keeping them in
confinement for any length of time—
nearly every one making the experiment
having fed his captives only with syrup,
which is wholly insufficient as susten
ance, and seeing therefore tho wretched
creatures gradually sink into inanition
and die of hunger.
His Head Was Level.
A sleek pair of Devon steers, says a
writer in the Xew York Tribune, were
drawing coal and the road was sand.
Soort the weighty load had to lie backed
up to a bin. They conld not do it. The
humane driver did not once cut them, but
seciryj tbey yVere unable to accomplish
tho task, he soothingly rublied them and
detached tho heavy heap. Then attaching
them again, heads toward the load, the
thing was done in a trice.
Some ladies of high social position in
Xew York are said to have started a so
ciety "for tho advancement of propriety
and frugality in dress." Among the
tilings to be avoided are decollete dresses
and sleeveless bodices.
THU SUNDAY UNIOIN, SACKAMKyTO, CAT,.; JANUARY 11, 3891 .-EIGHT PAGES.
KING AND SKIPPER.
How Frederick of Denmark En
tertained a Boatman.
"MOTHER'S" SOUP SUITED TIIE
KINGS TASTE
Tho Goose Was Nicely Cooked, bnt tho
Good Old "People Would Rather l>e
at Homo with the Children on
Christinas Eve.
Frederick VII., the predecessor of the
present King of Denmark, was probably
the most democratic sovereign that ever
ruled a nation. He was the last of a long
line of Kings, the first of which was a
Duke of Oldenburg that crossed the river
Elbe to be crowned monarch of tlie clus
ter of islands composing the brave little
nation in mediaeval times.
Although ho lived in the big Palace of
Christiansborg and was surrounded with
all tho the pomp and glitter of royalty,
lie- mixed freely with his subjects, and
was never happier than when, unrecog
nized, lie could walk among them and
pass as an unpretentious burger.
The Palace of-Christiansborg had in
olden times been a stronghold, sur
rounded by a deep moat that could only
be crossed by a drawbridge, but the burg
had grown around it until it had now
become tho very center of the city of Co
penhagen. The old drawbridge, with its
ponderous chains and watchful guards,
bad given place to a new bridge that
I spanned the moat, which had become a
wide canal, connected with the Oeresund
] and Open to navigation.
Instead of the stagnant water that cir
cled around the the aristocratic pile in
olden time, a swift current now ripples
by tiie embankments, and the old build
ing itself is changed into a marble pal
ace, the front of which was carved by tlie
great Thorwaldson. Commerce had en
croached on the opposite bank of tlio
royal domain, ant) skippers from tiie nu
merous islands sold their produce and
fish on trim little sloops almost in front
of the many white-marble pillars with
which the home of the Danish Kings is
ornamented.
To watch and sometimes to speak to
these hardy toilers of the sea that for hun
dreds oi years bave maintained the little
kingdom's power on the sea in all parts
ol the globe, waaone of Frederick's great
est pleasures, and those who were so
kindly spoken to by a big, stout, plain
and unassuming elderly citizen never
dreamed that they had been sneaking to
their beloved King.
Whenever the fancy seized him ho
would slip out of a back door unattended,
cross the canal and saunter leisurely
among these people, listen to their dia
lects—for each little island has a distinct
patois, as well as some fantastic peculiar
ities of dress—chat pleasantly with them,
and then continue his walk.
During one of these strolls, on a taw
and frosty December day, he walked by
the bank of the canal, that in summer
was lined with boats, and noticed that
several of them had been caught by a
sudden cold and frozen in. Approaching
one of the sloops, he saw the skipper on
deck, and at the same time the delicious
aroma of home-made pea soup was wafted
to him and made him feel hungry.
"Cold, isn't it?" said Frederick.
"Yes," replied the skipper, sorrow
fully, "and we won't get home for Yule.
It came so sudden, you know. Wo
couldn't get out in Ume, and now it looks
as if the weather would hold cold and
keep mother and I here, with all the
presents for our tree under deck, while
the young ones aro waiting."
"Bnt," said Frederick, encouragingly,
"the soup smells -good, and you are safer
here than you would have "been in the
Lille Belt, had you been caught there last
night."
RYes," replied the skipper, forgetting
all the hardship he would have had to
reach home in time for Christmas Eve.
"mother does make good pea soup, and
you can have a bow 1 of it if you like.
There is enough for all."
Tho King chuckled, but accepted the in
vitation. It was hard for him to crawl
over the slippery bulwark of the sloop,
for he was very stout, but finally he got
on deck and down into the little cabin
where the pea soup was boiling. He soon
finished a big bowl of it, which the skip
per's wife handed to him, and then the
skipper gave him a pipe, and th^v soon
had the cabin filled with smoke, while
mother washed tlie dishes and listened to
the two men chatting.
"You ought not to fret," said Frederick,
looking at the skipper's wife, who was
just then wiping away a tear with the
corner of her rough, homespun apron.
"It can't be helped; the Lille Belt isn't
frozen over hard enough for you to cross
on foot, and, even if it was, you couldn't
reach homo by night and deck the Christ
mas tree. Better be contented as you are,
and when the weather breaks and you
get home you can put the stem of the fir
tree into the tub mother has washed in
since you were married, and prop it up
with the same big boulders which have
held it since little Svend for the first time
reached out his tiny hands to catch the
pink and blue candles, that sparkled like
the three stars in the East. Come over
and take supper with me."
"Mother would rather be at home than
break bread with the Kinjj himself in
yonder palace. I have been looking at it
all day. It looks cold enough, and tiie
good King hasn't got any children nor
Christmas tree."
"I live over thero in the palace," said
Frederick, "and if you will come over to
night and take your Christmas SUppei*
witli me at 0 o'clock I will give you a nice
young goose, stuffed with apples and
prunes. I haven't a wife nor children, so
we won't have a Yule tree, i>ut we will
mix an attack punch and smoke a good
pipe of tobacco. Come by the back way and
ask for Frederick. The porter will show
you my room, and we will have a feast at
the King's expense."
After a gc'od deal of persuasion the
couple accepted, and Frederick climbed
on shore.
"Ah." said the skipper, looking at his
retreating guest, "ho is one of the good
King's men, and just sco how- well he is
kept and how tat ho is from the good
things that come from his lather's table!
It is more than crumbs he has to eat, I
am sure. We'll lock up tho cabin
tight — though who would come
out on ''a Christmas night to
rob a poor skipper ?—and, as we
are going among the great people of the
court, we will put on our good clothes and
all the silver buttons. Well, well, mother,
It's an ill-wind that blows no one any
good. So let us square our sad—tlie cold
Christmas storm will blow us into a warm
port."
At tithe skipper and his wife, in holi
day attire, crossed tht bridge and the
large open space in front of Christians
borg. Her dress > was of dark green
home-made woolen, trimmed with broad
red i'raids at tho bottom, -and on the bo
dice were two rows of soiid silver but
tons, the dowry sin- had brought her hus
band. Her hair was brushed smoothly
on her round head and decked by a
snow-white lace can, all encircled in a
warm woolen hood. He wore a green
jacket, with many rows of silver buttons
in front, on his sleeves and at the back.
They had all been bought, one by one, as
an investment, for this is the way these
people save their money, and the poon sl
of them are sure to have silver buttons
enough at least to pay for their burial.
His vest was of bright red and had also
many buttons, and his trousers were
tucked into the tops of a pair of heavy
grain leather boots that reached to liis
knees. Around his heavy cap and neck
was a long, flu fly, white woolen com
forter, wound many timesaroud him-and
ornamented at the ends with yellow balls
of worsted.
When they reached the palace the
porter took them in charge, saving that
Frederick lived at the other end, and the
couple followed him through long, dimly-
lighted corridors, hushed in silence.
Then he tapped on a big door and Fred
erick opened Hand bade them welcome.
The room which they entered was al
most dark, but it was very large, and in
the further end wero many shadows
moving about a table.
"Come." said Frederick, "tho goose is
cooked nicely, and I havo been waiting
for you;" and then he put an arm around
each of thcin and walked toward the ta
blo. Tbe moving shadows seemed to re
treat as they advanced, and then the skip
per said he thought Mr. Frederick lived
in a very big room.
When they reached the table and were
seated, Frederick called for a light, and in
an instant the great Hall of Knights be
came a flood of light. On either sido of
the high walls Were big pictures of
knights of the Order of the Elephant, with
their eoat-of-arms emblazoned oil the
gold frames. The shadowy figures were
all in brilliant liveries, and on the fine
tablecloth wero big bunches of flowers,
such as the skipper had never seen before.
Thero were cups and plates of silver, and
on a large dish before Frederick stood a
steaming roast goose.
"Come, good friend," said Frederick,
"let us enjoy our Christmas supper."
"Yes, yes," said the skipper, looking at
his wife, "let us eat, mother. And then,
turning to tho King, ho said: "But
fether, how much happier would land
mother be if we were homo with the chil
dren." A. P. Dl.ni.ap
CURRENT NEWSPAPER WIT.
All eastern Kentucky man calls his
wife "Old Lace," because she bas ruined
her health with a tight corset— 2tfew York
Herald.
Edward Bellamy has earned 81(5,000 by
"Looking Backward." This is better
than Lot's wife, who merely earned her
salt.—Hartford Post
Mr. Dimly—-"I always move about in
the best society." Mr. Mayflower—•'ln
deed?" Mr. Dunly — '-Yes; I am the
I agent of a debt collecting institution."
Wick wire—''Going to hear tho lecture
j to-night on 'The Young Woman of To
day?'" Yai»ley—"Cnoss not. The
young woman of to-night is more In
teresting to me." — Ter re Haute Express.
Father—"Why don't you work?"
Son—"Why, 1 am as bnsv as a bee."
Father—"Yon do nothing but cat.'* Son—
"Well, that is all the bees are doing just
now."
Stiiggins (angrily)—"Do you know that
your chickens come over into my yard?"
Snooks—"l supposed that they did, for
they never come back again."— New York
Herald.
"I love to sit before the blazing fire and
watch the figures in the Same." "Vhell."
said Isaacs, "dher Measure ohf dot de
pendts latchly on dher insurance."— New
York Suif.
"I bought my wife a bonnet to-day,"
said Bellows, "thatonly cost $5, and my
wife was overjoyed at it." "That's
strange, isn't ir?" "Not at all; you sco I
told her it cost ISO."
Pat (to parrot who has just finished
whistling "Clod Save the Queen"— "Be
gorra, it's a good thing ye bey green filh
ers on yez; if yer was a'canary, I'd twist
ver nick for yez."— Life.
"Would you want to marry a man with
a title?" asked Mildred of Kthel. "Oh, I
j don't know; if he had a title to several
I good blocks of business property, I
shouldn't mind."— Washington J'ost.
Aristocrat —"My ancestors, sir, took
part in the Crusades." Hebrew—"Aud
my ancestors, sir, loaned your ancestors
the money which enabled them to join
the Crusades."— Herbtier TagebUM.
Maria, I have come to ask you for your
hand—l—" "You ask for a great oca 1.
Mr. Smlthers." "< >n the Contrary, it is
such a very little one that—" '"It is
yours, George dear."— New York Sun.
Oldboy—"Young man, don't try to
fly too high at first. Always begin at the
bottom and workup." Flippant Youth
—"That's all right if you waul to climb a
ladder, but what if you want to dig a
wellf'-- Light
"Do the 1 physicians travel in the sum
mer because the health of the city is good,
or is the health of the ciiy so good because
the physicians are on their tiavt Is?"' We
don't dare to ask about the clergymen.—
Flit ;,-! nde Blatter.
"The t!i;i'ereiice between a monarchy
and our glorious republic," quoted Cynf
cus, "is here —in a monarchy tho crown
is handed down from one generation to
another; here we pass around tho hat."—
New York Herald.
Wife—"What is the difference between
the words induced and compelled?"
Husband—"There is a great deal of dif
ference. For instance, a man who is in
duced to marry- a woman is compelled to
live with her afterward."
Johnny (as his lather ushers in Mr.
Glib, the latter having just removed his
hat, revealing as he did so. a highly pol
ished crown)—"Oh, pa] now I know why
you always call Mr. Glib 'a slippery old
fellow.' " — Boston Courier.
San so—"What was the population of
the earth at the timo of the flood?"
Itodd—"lt is hard to say. You see, it
was impossible to have an accurate cen
sus, owing to the extent of the floating
population."— -Harper's Bazar.
Wife (reading paper)—"l always held
that Col. Hooker was an honest man. I
see that a man filled him full of buckshot
last night." Husband—"Where does the
honest part como in?" "Why, the article
says the colonel returned tho shot."— Life.
Indignant Maiden—"Sir, if you attempt
to kiss me I'll call my mother." Inde
pendent Young Man—"lf you call your
mother I'll kiss her too." Maiden (no
longer indignant)—" You will, eh? Well,
don't yon think wo can get along without
her?"
"Hullo, Tat; I hear yer workin'. How's
that?" "Yer roight. I'm workin' on
half toime down to the coal yards. Half
a loaf is better-n none." "Mabho it is.
But ye see, me boy, I'd rather loaf all tlio
tonne. Good day to ye, sor."— 'Sew York
Tribune.
"I sco Miss Fluvow has taken to the
stago. What part does the young as
pirant assume?" Frenchman (with lim
ited English vocabulary)—" What duz ze
mean?" "I mean what part does she
takeoff?" "She lakes oil' cverythings:
she is in ze ballet."
"There, there, Charles," said Ethel,
"don't scold the cabman any longer."
"Why," said Charles, "I was only giving
him what ho deserved—a piece of my
mind." "Yes, 1 know, dear," replied
Ethel, "but yon know we can't afford to
be so extravagant."— Clticago Times.
Brown—"Tell me, do you think that
Hobbs ever says what isn't exactly true?"
Fogg—"Well, I should not like to charge
Hobbs with untruthfulness; but if he
himself believes one-hundroth part of the
stories he tells, he must be the most cred
ulous man alive. I'—Boston Trait .script.
(i "Oh, no," said the giddy young woman.
"I never expect to adopt music ns a pro
fession; I merely make it a means of
killing time." "I have no doubt," re
plied the unenviable old gentleman, "that
in your hands the weapon proves as ef
fo( tive as could be desired."— Washinaton
Boat. "
The niclits come very early now,
And r.i! of us remember
That days are at their shortest
In tbe mon tli or chill December,
But their shortness isn't "in it"
With the shortness of the men
Who've been buying Christmas presents
i-'or families of ten.
Architect—"Now. in this ball I think It
would be very pretty to have nine nicies
In which wo will place the statues of tiie
nine Muses." Mr. Mushroom—"Yes.
that sounds all right. The idea is similar
to the one I sngested to Upstart. lie has
nine Muses in his hail. Weil, give me
aa even dozen, then. Upstart ain't going
to get the best o' me."—.America.
Tourist—"Do you believe in theeflirwy
of prayer?" "Kansan—"Y«u bet! W'y,
at meetin' Wednesday night I prayed good
an' loud for additional blessin's on onr
bloonun* little city, aorto montionin' at
the same tiinr tlie unbounded prosperity
that Providence had showered upon ns,
au' early next mornin' I sold four lots at
■M per cent, advance to a new-comer \\ ho
had been at the meetin'."
Mr. Einstein—"Vull, Leah, votvull ye
do dis mornin' rbr amusement?" Mrs.
Einstein—"Leave us get a hack. Mosey,
and dake a little trive der park arount."
Mr. Einstein—"How much vull a bank
cost, my tear?" Mrs. Einstein —"I sub
hose aboud tree dollars." Mr. Einstein
(after reflection)—"Vull, I'll dell you vot
I'll do, Leah; I'll gif you two dollars und
a halluf und ye vill stay at home."
DEVELOPING MUSCLE.
Miss Susie a Victim of the Physi
cal Culture Fad.
SHE HAS A ROUGH TIME. BUT
ENJOYS HERSELF.
How Sho teamed the "Flying Rings"
Act—Sho Forgot to Bend Her Knees
and was Jeered—A Thrillins Feat
on the Ladder Mastered.
Miss Susie Blank is a vivacious little
lady of Sacramonto who caught the phys
cal culture lad.
Her friend, Miss Strongarm, had joined
the ladies' class of tho Sacramento Ath
letic Club some weeks previous, and her
much-expanded chest, straight back,
graceful carriage, healthy color, and eord
liko muscles fairly set Miss Susie wild.
She would be an athlete, too.
Miss Susie took her lirst lesson the
other day. When she was ushered into
the gymnasium, in tho old Pavilion, and
beheld tho array of Indian clubs, dumb
bells, horizontal bars, trapeze, and count
less other muscle-making paraphernalia,
she clapped her hands and laughed with
glee over tho prospective good times she
would have. But what took Miss Susie's
eye most Was tho score or more of ladies
in picturesque costumes, who wero en
gaged In the most extraordinary acrobatic
and gymnatic feats our young and en
thusiastic friond had ever seen—oven
at boarding-school. Somo were flying
through the air, hanging to the big iron
rings, others were making desperate ef
forts to balance themselves on their
hands, some were juggling the Indian
clubs, aud two of them were actually
punching each other with the boxing
gloves. But for each feat she saw per
formed Miss Susie made a mental resolve
that she would soon do likewise.
Professor Godefroy cut short Miss Su
sie's contemplations by ordering her to
divest herself of iUI tight-titling garments
(including stays) anil get into regular
gymnasium rig, so she retired into the
dressing-room, and, borrowing a suit
from a a non-participating member, soon
appeared quite as grotesque-looking as
anyone there, in :v full blouse waist and
very short full skirt, which allowed free
movement to all the members of her body
awaiting development.
The order was given, "Form iii line!"
and all the flying figures came to earth
again and stood in an orderly row, the
tallest girl at the head and our Miss Susie
well down toward the foot. Then they
marched and countermarched, shuttled
their feet like the regular militia, "right
about faced,"' and went through a regu
lar drill, in which the new scholar felt
rather uncomfortable, as she could scarce
ly tell her right foot from her left, or
which heel to turn upon, the orders came
so rapidly.
After thut came the regular calisthenic
exercises, and Miss Susie waved her arms
and bobbed her head and knocked her
knees together until she felt like an
automaton, with just enough sense left to
wonder eagerly if the muscles were grow
ing any after all that hard work.
At any rale, she ■ was in a delightful
glow, and the blood was tingling in her
Veins when they got through that and
wero ordered to "practice on the rings."
"Whatever that is," thought Miss Susie,
"I iiin in fur it. and 1 hope I won't break
any bones." She echoed the hope as she
saw each girl in turn go forward to
practice. The ring was suspended from
the ceiling, and abort eight feet from the
ground. Tbe exorcise was to jump up,
catch hold of it and swing first from side
io aide, then backward and forward, then
round and round i:i -.-. circle.
Those who were timid were hoisted up
by the Professor, the others jumped up
themselves, but Miss Susie's heart failed
her as her time came. She looked first at
the ring, then at tbe floor, then at tho Pro
fessor, but he without any waste of words
placed his hands on her hips anil said,
"Jump!" She made a mild effort and
raised herself two inches from tho
ground.
"We'll try it again," said the Professor,
kindly. "Bend your knees this time."
She bent them double, mado a spring
with his assistance, clutched wildly at the
ring, which eluded her grasp, and came
down with a heavy thud that shook tho
building.
"Always bend your knees," said her in
structor, "and that will make you come
down more lightly."
With a third aiid last effort Miss Susie
caught the ring and hung on to it like
grim death, shrieking to her supporter
not to let her go or sho would surely fall;
but he did not notice the despairing ap-
Eeal, and calmly moved aside, leaving her
anqing up there, feeling as if her arms
would leave their sockets, her neck break
and other disagreeable things take place,
while the rest of the class were in one
broad grin at her misery. But the climax
was reached when the Professor told her
to swing, and started hor with a fine
shove that took her breath away. She
closed her eyes and gave herself up for
lost as she swung up almost to the ceiling
and came back again almost to the start
ing point. Then she begged to bo taken
down.
"Jump," said tho Professor, "and re
member to bend your knees."
She said her prayers, shut her eyes
tight, and drew up her knees as high as
she could, then let go and came down, not
on her feet or knees either, lint very
nearly on her nose. She was picked up
and put .on a bench to recuperate, while
the others wont through their "ring prac
tice."
Miss Susie thought sho had had enough
of it for one day.
Then they were ordered to march to the
ladder. "If it is climbing," thought Miss
Susie, "I can do it already!" But it was
not climbing; just more jumping and
swinging. It was not very high from
the ground, so she acquitted herself well;
but tho last exercise stumped her and a
gooil many others, too. It was to jump
Up to the highest round of tho ladder in
reach, swing from side to side, and with
each swing move your hand one round
higher until you reach the top of the lad
der, then come down again any way you
can. Tho Professor did it beautifully,
but somehow the girls stuck fast. They
could not advance oven ono round, and
Miss Susie sat down on the lowest round
iv perfect despair, hot and tired. But
their patient instructor made the whole
class go over it again, and finally the tall
est one did manage, by dint of strenuous
exertions, to slowly push herself up, inch
by inch, until she advanced about three
rounds: then she dropped, flushed, but
triumphant.
Miss Susie was fired with ambition,
and determined to try once more. She
caught at the ladder with both hands and,
suspended from it, worked her body like
a pump-handle, first this way, then that,
until every bone cracked again, and some
one said: "She must Ite breaking!"
But tho only result of all her kicking
Waa to raise a targe blister on each hand,
and nearly dislocate her spine: so she,
too, dropped with more force than ele
gance.
This concluded tho exercises for the
Used in MliUou- o. -ioiuesw^a Years ihe Standard, »
day. The class trooped into the dressing
room and doned their street apparel—a
warm, rosy and tumultuous set—and Miss
Susie just as rosy and tumultuous as any
of them, though sho had added to her
facial adornments by a scratched fore
head, and a lump on the tip of her nose.
However, she expressed herself as de
lighted, and having had a "perfectly
lovely time."
ILLINOIS POLITICS.
Tlie Farmer Representatives Will Not
Support Pnlmer.
SritiXGFii'iJ* (111.), .Tun. 10.—The stand
ing of the three farmer members of titic
lower house of the General Assembly in
the coming Senatorial fight is no longer
one of uncertainty. While it is not yet
known who their candidate will be, it is
certain that it will not be .John Palmer.
Representative Cockrill, in an inter
view this eveninvr, said that under no cir
cumstances would ho or his colleague
support Palmer. They- had no objection
to Palmer particularly, except that he
stands on the old Democratic doctrine
that the Government can make nothing a
legal tender but gold and silver.
"What we desire," he said, "is a per
capita circulation, and we want an Amer
ican system of finance. We have come
to the conclusion tliat money is neither
silver nor gold nor any other material.
This old Democratic idea of money,
which is also indorsed b3' tho Repub
lican party, is a fraud."
Ccukrell farther said that it is their ir
revocable decision not to support any
caucus nominee of tho old parties, or any
man, if they have any doubt as to his
views on the questions of money. "We
will elect our man or force the Repub
lican or Democratic party to adopt our
policy."
EASTERN TURF.
Results of Yesterday's Races at Gut
tenbers and Gloucester.
Guttenberg, Jan. 10.—A pleasant
day and a fast track were had hero to
day for the six events on tho card, The
three first horses in each race wore:
Five-eighths, selling, for beaten horses,
Flambeau 1, Marty 2, Blackburn 3; time
—1:02 J.
Three-quarters, selling, Ben Harrison
1. Pearl Jet 2, Objection :*; time—l:l4".
Three-quarters, Frances S 1, Lizzie 2,
Cascade it; time—l:lss,
»toe mile, handicap, Fortunatus 1, Brus
sels 2, Winona 3; time—l:43J.
Five furlongs. Autocrat 1, Sunday 2,
Red Elm 3; time—l:ol j.
One mile, selling, McCauley 1, Super
visor 2, Mclodrama3; time —1:143.
AT GLOUCESTER.
Gloucester, Jan. 10. — There were
fivo spirited events on the programme
here to-day. Tho winners were:
Thirteen-sixtecnths, Hot Scotch 1,
Lannes 2, Mamie Hay 3; timo—l:2~i.
Three-quarters, selling. Oriental I,
Count Me In 2, Alice Ward 3; time—
1:103.
Nine-sixteenths, selling, Tartar 1, Si
lence 2, VenayS; time-^S/j.
Seven-eighths, Belisarius 1, Aftermath
2, Lady Pulsifer 3; time—l:33:,.
One and one-eighth, selling, King Idle
1, Armour 2, Darling H; time—2:o2±.
SUGAR TRUST.
Reorganization Under tho Laws of
New Jersey.
New York, Jan. 10.—Negotiation for
the reorganization ol'the Sugar Trust wore
completed after Judge Pratt's decision,
and tho People's Trust, a company in
Brooklyn, has turned over all assets to
the trustees. The stocks of the various
companies were taken to Jersey City,
where the successor company, under tlio
title of the "American Sugar Refining
Company," has already been formed.
The reorganization was declared com
plete, and all assets anil properties of the
sugar trust were turned over to the Amer
ican Sugar Keiining Company. The com
pany at once issued {25,000,000 preferred
stork. $25,000,000 common stock and
?u>.dtio,ooo bonds.
The Attorney-General of Now York
said to-night that he had not been con
sulted regarding the reorganization, and
would not talk further.
—■*■
FRUIT SHIPMENTS.
Large Increase This Season Over Past
Years.
San Francisco, Jan. 10.—The annual
meeting of the California Fruit Union
will be held in a few days, and the report
which will be presented by Secretary H.
A. Fairbanks will be very gratifying. It
will show that 2,000 carloads of green de
ciduous fruits out of a total of about 3,000
carloads which lcll this State, Avere
shipped by members of the union. Of
these, 1,400 carloads went direct to agents
of the union in eleven Eastern cities, and
about 000 carloads went topoints where
the union had no agents. The totals all
around show an increase of several hun
dred carloads over 18611. The gross re
ceipts from the 1,400 carloads handled
directly by the association's agents were
Eastern Weather.
Washington*, Jan. 10.—Rain continues
throughout the Southern States, and
light snows in the central valleys. Fair
weather is reported from Now England,
New York, the northern portion of the
Lake region and the extreme Northwest.
It is warmer east of the Mississippi, and
below zero in Colorado.
THE TEMPERATURE.
Chicago, Jan. 10.—The temperature
this morning at H o'clock was as follows:
Chicago, 30°; Cincinnati, 34°; St. Louis,
30°; Winnipeg, 12° above.
Salmon Eggs for France.
New York, Jan. 10.—The La Gascogne,
this mornitag from Havre, carried 100,
--000 Columbia River salmon eggs, con
signed to tho French Society lor the
Propagation of Fishes. Tlie eggs came
from the United States hatching'stalion,
and were shipped by order of United
States Commissioner of Fisheries Mc-
Donald.
Strikers Return to Work.
Chicago, Jan. 10.—About a thousand
steam-fitters, who havo been on a strike
for some time iv this city, returned to
work to-day. They returned uncondi
tionally.
.»
SAN FRANCISCO STOCK SALES.
San Francisco, Jannary 10,1891.
MORNINfI BOARD.
Ophlr a 95 Silver Hill 25c
Mexican 2 35 Occidental SOc
O. AC 2 Of. I-avly W 15e
15. A. 1! 2 35 Andes 85c
Con. Va 3 35<n;.':* 40 Scorpion 15c
Havagc 1 OOfel 65 Benton 1 10
<'hollar 1 95' lowa 25c
Potosi 4 50rw4 56 Hnltimore aOc
H. & N 1 30 New York 25c
Point 1 60IW. Comstock toe
Jacket 1 80 E. Sierra Nevada 5c
Imperial SOeiEurcka a 75
Kentuck Boe Prize 20c
Belcher 1 35fel 40 N. Com'wealth 60c
Alpha 85c Boilie 80c
Utah 25c:Bul\vc.-r 20c
S. Nevada 1 65' Mono <>0c
Bullion 2 05 Silver Kin;; 30c
Exchequer 45c Peer 15c
Hc-ir. Belcher SOc Crocker 15c
Overman 1 66 Peerless 20c
Justice 95c Central 15c
Cnlon _1 BOiWeldiaii 15c
Aha fiOc, Locomotive 5c
Julia 20cS. V. Water <MV.
Caledonia 40c Oakland (.fas 33^1
Challenge 1 551
■"O-Jantc&r.
XXf ANTED —BY A GENTLEMAN PEl£
VV nianciitly located in this city, room und
board in a private family, or room without
board In same. Address Box 23, this office.lt*
'«*-' ANTED-BY A YOUNGLADY, A I'd"
VV sition us bookkeeper, stenographer or
office work of any kind. Address,"Miss E. s.,
922 M street, jalo-2i*
■VI7" ANTED IM M EDI ATEL Y—TWO LADY
VV agent* to sell our new book of art,
tnusic and literature. Outsells all others of its
kind titty to one. Ear exclusive right of terri
tory address .1. McLAEGIILIN, l'toom 101,
Elood Building, Sun Francisco. jut"-7t*
WANTED- IN A PRIVATE FAMILt-
Onc or two boarders. Call at 1502 (i
street. ja<; 71~
TTT ANTED, AGENTSI-GOOD ACTIVE
VV gentlemen or ladies for something en
tirely new; li^ht and profitable; takes with
every one. Apply 1033 Eighth strtet, from 1
toy km. in. 1-11
WANTED-PARTIES TO TAKE AN INA
tertst in the Sectional Giant Quart*
Mill, of meritorious qualities; patented. .lAS.
A. SCOTT, Golden Eagle Hotel. Sacra
niento. _________ d2o-tf
VirANTEDr-MEN FOE FARMS, VINE
VV yards, dairies and all kinds of labor.
Women und girls for cooking ami general
housework. Plenty of work for desirable help.
Apply at EMPLOYMENT OFFICE, Fourth
street, K and L.
WANTED- A~SITUATION BY a'laPAN
ese to cook. Understands his business
thoroughly. Addresa Jap., this office. Ja9-3t*
TITANTED—A BITUATION BY EXrEUI
\ > enced horseman, as coachman or trainer
of horses. Address "22,"' tiiis titiice. ju"J-::t*
jgo&t—goxitxii.
LOST —AT INAUGURAL BALL, ONE
gold and platinum locket, set with ono
diamond in center and containing pictures of
two children. Finder will please return to
DR. W. R. CLUNESSand be rewarded. Jal 1-tf
I'OST -TWO QOWS FROM -MILS. TEU
JL_ ler's ranch, one mile east of city, a
brown and red cow. Any person giving in
formation <_>r them ut 222-t O street, or re
turns tlieni to ranch, will be rewarded. jaß-3t*
©or get ov glcrtt.
TO LET—A SUITE OF NICELY FUR.
nished rooms und one bedroom; 1129 O
st reet. j a 1 l-:;t* _
TO LET—TWO ROOMS SUITABLE FOR
light housekeeping; also, two single rooms
.suitable for gentleinen; 'Jl5 Fifth street, near
the railroad shops. jall-il*
rpo" RENT^THREE FURNISHED Rooms
_L for light housekeeping, 1525, cor. Second
and P streets. jalo-7t*
rpo LET—FOR LEGISLATORS-THREE
J_ handsomely furnished rooms at 71 I ;C
Btrei I, up stairs. jal()-:;t»
rpo LET—A HOUSE OF SIX ROOMS AND
X closets, neatly finished, at No. 1412 J
st. Inquire of A. OOf [Dl IT, M2 ,J st. "aB-tf
Ml COR. LAND FOURTH—ROOMS BY
■±\JL the day, week or month. LANGHAM.
diy-im
TO LET—SMALL TENEMENTS AND
also unfurnished rooms, cheap; suitable
for housekeeping. Apply to 1). GARDNER,
at wood-yard, Fonrth and I streets. myi7-tf
FURNISHED Rooms AT CENTRAL
House, from So per month upwards: also
family rooms at low prices. HORNLEIN
BROS., Proprietors. mrl&-ly
FURNISHED ROOMS AT THE RUS9
House: also front parlor suite-;; pleasant
locution: only two blocks from Capitol. 1009
and 1011 .1 street. d3O-14t*
mO LET-A FURNISHED FLAT OF FIVE
J_ rooms. Inquire ut 112s Ninth st. ju7-l it*
TO LET DURING UEGKBLATURE, A
large furnished suite ol" rooms ut 71G .1.
Ja7-7t*
17K)R RENT—A NICE DWELLING-HOUSE
' of S rooms; Eighteenth and F streets; ce
ment sidewalks aad iron fence; rent SIS.
MILLS A HAWK', 301 .1. _ Ja6-6t
rpo LET—HOUSE ON THIRD STKKHt"
J_ between Qand R.containing t> nicerooms;
has iurge yard, with fruit trees and stable. In
quire ut 304 J street, S. ROSENFELD. ja6-7t
NICELY-FURNISHED ROOMS AT 101 9J_
I'ourth Btrei i, betw.t-n J and K. j-.-.r.-Tf
FOR BENT—FURNISHED ROOM IN PRD
\ate family, suitable for one er two gentle
men; two blocks from Capitol, Sl'J O strett.
Ja9-7t*
TO LET — FURNISHED ROOMS FOR
Housekeepuig. Apply at 72<J N street.
,)a9-3t^
rLET —A HOUSE OF SIX ROOMS,
newly painted und papered throughout,
corner Thirteenth and F streets. Apply at
Brown House, Fourth and K streets. MRS.
A. GLEEMAN. _jay-tf
rpu LET—IN A PRIVATE FAMILY, TWO
JL furnished rooms, 710 Ninth st. jao-3t*
$ov gale.
FOR SALE-A GOOD RESTAURANT, DfV
ing a good business. Inquire at this of
fice^ jall-:;t*
FOR SALE-ONE BEDROOM SET NEAE-
Iy new, besides more furniture and other
household articles. Will be sold cheap on ac
count of leaving the citv. At 710 D street.
jalO-7t> .
FOR SALE CHEAP—LOT 40x150. IN
quire ill 7 P street. Jalo-2t*
FOR SALE—A HANDSOME ""RUiHiX
horse, pertfectly gentle; especially euited
for lady to drive; rapid traveler, and one of
the best saddle-horses in the cHy. A. O.
GREGORY. Fifth and j, SucriuJiento. ja'.*-tf
FOR SALE-ONE OF TflE FINEST AND
largest saloons in tl-.e city; extra family
entrance; best location; stock and louse. In
quire at this office. . 00-tf
CHOICE LOT~OF CANARY BIRDS'Foil
■ale, 1112 Fstreet . d2i-lm»
FOR SALE—CHOICE AND RE LIA 81. E
fruit trees. Call on O. O. GOODRICH,
Riverside Nursery, three miles south of citv.
V.O. address, Sacramento. do 1-tf
FOR SALE-GAS LAUNCH "NITA;" ONE
man can handle her: needs neither pilot
nor engineer license; simplest and safest en
gine made. Inquire OFFICER MAY. Wash
ington, Yolo. jaS-l-lt*
©cncral notices.
MONEY TO LOAN—ON CITY AND
country property. MUDDOX & FEE,
con 1 street. jaH-tf
SACRAMENTO COUNTY POULTI.Y
Yards; leading varieties for sale; eggs for
hatching; for tUrtoer particulars send for cuiu
logue. GEO. E. DLDEN, proprietor, i'.ox
.:7<',, Sacramento. ja3-tf
"VTOTICIAHAVE YOU~~ANY" INTENT 11 IN
__\ of investing in 2, -1, 6or 10 acres ot 'rich
land just outside the city and only short dis
tance from terminus of New Electric Bail way?
I*' so, it will pay you big to see me and Ibid
what I have to oiler. M. J. DILLMAN, 1420
O street; at 305 J street between 12 and 1.
jad-tf
DRESSMAKING— MRS. MAY STEVENs!
formerly with Mrs. Schirmer, has opened
first-class dressmaking parlors at DIS Seventh
street, back of Cooper's music stores. Ladies',
children's and Infants' white underwear a spe
cialty; plain sewing solicited. 022-tf
FULL STOCK
—OF—
FURNITURE
AXD THE LOWEST PRICES ALWAYS
—AT—
W. D. COMSTOCK'S,
FIFTH AND IC^ STCKETS.
FRUIT CREAM
r SPECL\XTY- FOR TIIIS IVTXK.
SIO SC STREET.
Jac-tf
"NO HUMBUG,"SCENTS
"Spnnisli IMossom." 10 Cents.
THE BEST C AND 10-CKNT CIGAR EVER
PLACED ON TUE MARKET.
A. HERTZEL,
Dealer in CigaryandTohacco, No. 828 K street,
mm wm we;
Has more than three times tho stock of
any other store, largest variety, host
quality, lowest prices, as ho Imports
direct from European factories through
tho Custoin-hous<». "VVrito for eata.
lopuo. Aildress COOPER'S MUSIC
STORE, Saci-ttjayiito, Cal. «q
