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THE GARDEN ISLAND, TtESl)AY, JUNE 20. 1922
Without Evading Issue
DISAPPROVAL IS DIRECT; CAN
FIND NO MERIT IN THE
"Are you Robert "
"Yes, Hob Englchard. A man's
name, that. Not one of those trick
names' that don't denote sex. And
not. a name a girl would affect.
They call themselves Billy once in
a while but there are no nobs yet."
"I am the editor of the American
Legion page in "
"That s all right, old dear. I won't
tell anybody. The less people who
know about it the less you have to
live down. I suppose you want a
little interview. Usually get them
from new arrivals, eh? Well, Ka
uai's a nice little, tight little is-
"That's what the visitors from the
other islandju say of Kauai, and in
a way they are right. Nothing short
of an earthquake would change any
thing on Kauai."
"I object. I most emphatically ob
ject. We are the very spirit of
progress. Hasn't Sloggctt put us in
the dramatic limelight and Baggott
given us an automobile ordinance
that lays special stress on lenses
and Broadbent has made automobil
ing safe around Calamity Corner
and it not Dr. Kuhns makirg Ka
uai a hunter's paradise and our li
brary and our new armory and our
golf links and our er "
"Rave on, old dear. Self satisfac
tion to the core. You're an old timer
here all right. How long has Kauai
needed these things you speak of?
Years, and only getting them now."
"Why, I've never had anyone say
anything like this to me before.'
"No doubt. What I've said is true,
that Is why it hurts."
- "Let's change the subject."
"How are you enjoying your fam
ily?" "Fine. Mother's a peach and IVicl
couldn't be better. Anything else?"
"Yes, how about the Junior, Leg
ion?" "Nothing doing. Let the girls have
their Junior Auxiliary if they want
it. Girls don't change and all they
want is a place where they can get
together and talk. Remember, I was
bqroi only ten days ago and things
men. I'm going aetaarthrarthrarhr
are constantly changing for wo men.
I'm going to get a radio set, a car,
and maybe a plane. I know how to i
work Dad and he'll get them for
me. Of course, it's not going to be
easy. Ergle, that's my brother, has
been having his own way with the
family before I arrived, but from
now on things are going to be differ
ent." Work or Fight
A prim proper young miss was
much horrified on the street to find
a small boy not over six years old
smoking a cigarette.
"Little boy," she commanded, throw
down that horrid thing this minute."
"Go chase yerself lady," answered
the Infant disdainfully. "Hunt yer
own. I found dip one meselt." Am
erican Legion Weekly. I
i FIFTEEN YEARS EXPERIENCE IN
Sent to London
OF BRITISH LEGION
Indianapolis, Ind, June 15. Per
sonal greeting from Commander Han
ford MacNider of the American Le
gion are being carried to the British
Legion in its annual conference in
London by H. Nelson Jackson of
Vermont, national vice commander
ol the American Legion..' Mr. Jack
son sailed for London on May 20.
He is official American Legion re
presentative at tho conference of
the British Legion, recently organiz
ed after the model of the American
The message of Commander Mac
N'ider reads In part: "No generation
:f our natyn have been so closely
bound together. Through the couing
years it must be our mutual duty to
so strengthen and cement these tfes
that from this great understanding
may come peace for all the world."
Nineteen years ago Mr. Jackson
surprised the scientiific world by
crossing the American continent in
an automobile, a feat hitherto deem
ed Impossible. It took hip G5 days
witn His 11)03 model to negotiate
the distance between San Francisco
ard New York.
Disqualified for active service in
the world war on account of his
age, Mr. Jackson enlisted In the
JJedical corps, rose to the rank of
major and was thrice cited for gal
lantry In action at the front. He
wears the dlstijiguished service cross,
the ribbon of the Legion of Honor
and the Croix de Guerre of France.
Two Legion Members
Married In Plane
RADIO BROADCASTS THEIR MAR
RIAGE SERVICE WHILE
New York, June 15. The whole
east coast heard the bride promise
to "love, honor and obey," when
Miss Sarrah Cockfaire, nurse, and
A. P. Schlafke, both of Brooklyn,
and both ox-members of the A. E.
F., were married in airplane flying
over New York. The plane was equip
ped with a radio broaVasler. The
couple then flew to the American
Legion's mountain resort at Lake
Tupper for their honeymoon.
Our idea of a good fellow
'Who has a drag with the
Girls is one who
Kiiises them and then
Pushes them away
Saying they can't
Have any more Record.
The Dear Child
The Fond Mother Just think! Lit
tle Porclval is beginning to talk.
He's learning to recite, "Baa, Baa,
Black Sheep, have you any wool?"
The Proud Father No! Does ho
say all that?
The Fond Mother Not all of it
as yet. But he's gotten as far as
"Baa, Baa." Burr.
Ask Your Wife Today
how she would handle your estates if she were suddenly left alone. You
will doubtless find her very vaj;ue on the subject, due, of course, to lack
of business experience.
Make sure that she is relieved of the burden and responsibility by appoint
ing this company executor and trustee under your will.
This will insure a steady income for herself and the children.
FMtmVKU.. OH! St'llOOLMMtM.
You ni't' li':iviiij ns
And we will miss you.
Hut we can never forjjel. you?
No ! Never !
Ever will we remember you starliii" out
On a hike with the Hehj lias;
Cost nines ever so varied.
Mostly panties did you affect,
"When you should have worn
Colors Joli's coat would seem as somber
As a monk's robe compared
Willi your raiment.
Yes, we will miss you.
And many a horse will niiss you
Hut not to his sorrow.
Oh, the pain we felt when
You went with the other fellow.
Or cut us at dances.
Or kepi us fjucssiiir.
Or made us know licit to endure ns.
AVe must have sometliin; for your amusement
Farewell. Oh! Schoolmarni !
We will miss you
I'nlil school starts ajiain.
I am in receipt of your letter and
I cant say that I agree with you at
all. I used to be that way myself
onciJ in fact until quite recently but
you know as he saying goes there
is only two kinds of men who don't
change his mind und one is a dea!.
man and the others a fool. And
s'nee I aint in either class as yet
I'm now hopped over to the other
side of the fence and believe that
altough they roll their own and bob
there hair the countrys absolutely
NOT going to h ell as a result.
I tell you how I came to switch
over. Me and you Al, always hud it
figured out that a woman ought to
be out on the front porch when a
follow conies home from work ready
to give him the glad hand then ease
him into his smoking Jacket and half
the kids come tip-toeC.ng in and kiss
dadiy good nght and then half
the missus lead you to swell feed
that she has cooked herself and
after that you get under the Mtizda
and read the sports in the evening
paper wile she does the dishes. Pret
ty soon she comes in and after pat
ting the pillow behind your head
end shading the light so rt wont
shino in your eyes she sits on the
other side of the table and starts
mending your socks and, sewing on
Does she start any sob story about
the cook be'.n waistful or the wash
lady chargeir.g so much and doing
110 starch peaces or about liaveing
no body to chop the fire woord or
look after the chickens? No tlieM
aint a chirp out of her about them
things because she done ail them
chores after packing the kids off
to school in the morning. After we
got a line on whos going to cop
the pennant and why there aint no
II II I '.0
Trust Company, Ltd.
St. Honolulu Telephone 6177
SETTLING AND MANAGING ESTATES
WOMEN IS WOMEN
body that can stand up before Jack
Dempsey we furnjsh a little conver
sation by growling about things that
go wrong at the office and she sits
by and agrees with every thing we
Honest Al, aint that your kind of
a picture of the prizo was going
to capture ut the alter and lead
to your bungalow? Sut it was and
if you dont want to be honest I
will. That was my ideal of what a
little wife ought to be and it didn't
have but one drawback them ki:;d
of janes woudnt make much of a
k'lling out in publick. But we had
it figured out that you cant half
every thing and if wu knew we was
going to have square meals every
right if was easy enough to jazz
around .once in a wile by saying we
had work to do nt the office and
wouldnt be home until late that
Then things changed. Wo got pro
hibition and war and tho fiumales
cut there hair of and figured that
'f a Scotchman could keep his stock
ings up without liaveing them so
long that he had to armholes in
them so could they and, there dress
es got. so short no doubt on account
of shortage of material during the
war that when a feumalei sits down
its all she can do to modestly cover
about Ms her kneecap. Believe me
Al it don't make no difference what
age they is you half to turn around
and look when tiny go by. Now how
can 11 feam.ile make a good house
wife when she dolls herself up just
like the jane you like to take out
In" publick? Thats what Ive been
trying to figure out for some time
and concltid"d that she cant as per
result the country was rapidly going
to the dogs.
Being single I couldnt very well
half a chance to make any intomate
Legion Armory Drive
TO LEGION'S FUND
The American Legion drive for
funds for the remodeling of the ar
mory started on last Friday, June
10. Tho drive is still in proRnrss
and It Is hoped that the $400(1 ne
cessary for this work will be obtain
ed before the erd of this week.
As was previously stated, contri
butions are bang sought from mem
bers of the Kau:ii post of tho Am
erican Legion over nil the island
and from everybody living in the
Lihue district, since Lihuo will be
particularly benefitted by having a
community center, but it must be
remembi'red that the armory is and
w',11 continue to be the property of
the county of Kauai and controlled
by the sheriff.
observations. But one day last week
I goes over to the other side to see
a bird) that has the same kind of
job as me. I does ho reluctantly be
cause my stomache aint the be.H
and I hate to change my fe-d ami
besides I wasnt in no mood to lis
ten to the ehirppings of some foa
male. The missus came out to the
front porch to meet us. Her hair
was bobbed and hhe had on a n'pe
white sailor biiit with a skirt so
short that she could half rid 1 motor
cycle without it gettin.? in the way.
I'll say slie was easy on tho eyes
but she was a wife and had no bus
iness to look t'.iat way and I sure
felt sorry for her husband. Think
of him slaving 12 hours a day and
Sundays and then naveing a wife
that looks like :i i!oll and no doubt
letting tho house go to wreck alio
waisting all his money.
Pretty soon dhe calls us in to feed
and. it was soma '3 d too. I noticed
that when it comas time to shift
the, chow she ioaa to tho kitchen
Tor it and I expects that she would
start lacking about having 110 maid
to wait on the table. But bhe never
said no word about that and only
looks over at the old man oncei and
a wile with th-j kind of s-elf satis
fied look like she would like to tell
the world she picked a winner. And
after a while she lets me on Lhe
fact that the old man has just slip
per a brand new electric washing
machin.i and an electric stove and
she does all the chores around the
place without liaveing somebody to
help hdr. When the kills come in from
school they Is nice and polite and
quiet and helps bring on the coffee
and" tho boys tells me about the lit
tle cur his dad had given him. The
nV.ssus says the old man was for
getting a big car but she holds out
for keeping the old one for another
Buy a SzZZl
and Spend the difference.
TflST ACCURRTI INTtWt5UNI StUVICt
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Returns Are Gratifying
One of the encouraging things In
the drive is the way the Small sal
aried people are contributing. Tho
;;irls in the Tip Top cafe sought the
opportunity of adding their names
to the lists that were being circu
lated. In the Tiji Top building alone
over $ii0 was collected.
At the regular monthly meeting
of the Kauai Chamber of Commerce
leld last Thursday evening in the
Tip Top theater this body voted to
give $17! to the armory building
Since the drive is still In progress
we wish to Impress the public with
the advantages that a larger armory
will mean to tho community and
Kauai. The men and women of Li
huo who participated in the Indpor
baseball games at the armory last
winter realize what a handicap it
is to play in a building of low roof
truss. For basketball the present
floor space is too small for a regu
lation s'ste court. When these sports
are player they have to be crowd
ed in one side of the building.
The row of posts down the mid
dle lnterf.ire with the spectators
and with dancing. The new armory
is going to have an unrestricted
floor space large enough for the com
munity to stugo any amusement
or indoor sport. Along each of the
side-walls will bo four tiers of per
manent seats that will accommodate
a large audience.
In addition to this and quite as
important is the meeting hall that
is to be built above the present
kitchen am', dressing rooms. It will
have a seating capacity of about one
hundred and will be a plate where
any Kauai organization may hold
'Us meetings. There will be a de
cided advantage In the various Ka
uai clubs knowing that there is one
place where they may always hold
their meetings a place of sufficient
seating capacity and place to keep
their records and paraphernalia.
To those who have not yet con
tributed we solicit your aid. The
project is a worthy one. The Ameri
can Legion is conducting this cam
paign because they, as a part of
the community, will be benefitted
by It. In no way will the Legion be
especially privileged. Tho armory
will continue to be the property of
the county of Kauul and all money
colli cted for this fund will be die
voted exclusively to the remodeling
of the armory.
year and buying one for the kids.
After chow she leacs me around the
house and shows me thc chickens
and ducks and vegetables that she
is raisin and tells me about there
boy in school Iji the states and how
good he Is doing.
Listen Al we has been all wrong.
Women Is women the same today
as they has always been. They want
a home and kids and a man to
look after and they sure slipped
something over on us that we aint
realized yet. They is all that we
wanted thun to be and besides that
they are snappy looking enough to
take out in publick.
II a TKKTS Of INI WfllkV