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"STearly Siitoscriptlon Sfe 1
NEVER LOSES HIS UMBRELLA.
I tut It Takes Shrewd Planning to Remem
ber Other Things.
"It seems tit me,'' said the worried
looking man to a Kew York re
porter, "that memory is very much a
matter of habit. Now, for instance,
there's the umbrella, generally sup
posed to be the most elusive and
easily forgotten of all things. 1 never
forgot mine for 1 am accustomed to
carry it daily, train or shine, and I
should miss it almost as much as 1
would my hat But I am not accus
tomed to carrying things home, and
1 seldom succeed when I try. I
bought some collars once on my way
up town and carried them with me
to the pol grounds. I stowed them
safely under my seat while 1 watched
the game, and anotncr wore the
collars. Once, when 1 lived in the
suburbs I bought one day a fish to
carry homa I placed it securely in
the rack overhead in the Jcars, and
I hope the railroad folks have re
moved it before now. 1 tried yester
day to carry home a bundle contain
ing some things that I had. and dis
covered, after I had got home, that I
had left the bundle in a street car.
If 1 am going traveling for any dis
tance 1 carry my luggage in a certain
number of pieces: I have sav big bag,
little bag, two overcoats and um
brella. When 1 go abroad or leave
the cars or boat I know that 1 ought
to have Ave pieces and I never forget
them But here again memory is a
habit On short trips if 1 have any
thing to carry I try by one of three
ways, if 1 think of it. to remember.
If it is a bundle that I can put in
my pocket I put it there; that is ob
viously the safest way. Another
vray is to put the package on the
Uoor ot the car where I must stum
ble over it in going out The other
way is to carry it on my lap or to
lean it up against me so that it will
fall and attract my attention when I
get up. If I neglect to take one of
these precautionary measures the
package is gone; but I never forget
Mcnt-Katiiiff and Bad Temper.
"In no country, " declares Mr. Er
nest Hart, in the London Hospital,
"is home rendered so unhappy and
lire made so miserable by the ill
teraper of those who are obliged to
to live together as in England,
If we compaie domestic life
and manners in England with those
of other countries where meat
does not form such an integral arti
cle of diet, a notable improvement
will be remarked. In less meat-eating
France urbanity is the rule of
the home; in fish and rico-eating
Japan harsh words are unknown, and
an exquisite politeness to one an
other prevails even among the chil
dren who pi ay together in the streets.
In Japan I never heard rude, angry
words spoken by any but Englishmen.
I am strongly of the opinion that
the temper of the English is caused
in a great measure by a two abund
ant meat dietary combined with a
sedentary life. The half-oxidized
products of albumen circulating in
the blood produce both mental and
moral disturbances, Brain workers t
should live sparingly if
Thair. fn .
work well and live long.
is required for mental exertion, and
should not be expended on the task
of digestion, for 'they should remem
ber that the digestiou of heavy meals
involves a great expenditure of nerve
iorce." The healthful thing to do is
lead an active and unselfish life on a
moderate diet sufficient to maintain
strength and not increase weight "
One Woe ol the Typewriter.
tlDear!" said the typewriter girl.
'If there is anything I dread it is a
"I don't see why," said the girl
that lives at home with "ma."
"Because I will hae to get used
to a lot of new words. After one
has written from the dictation of
one man for a long time she gets so
accustomed to his vocabulary that
she could almost find the words and
letters on the keyboard of the ma
chine with her eyes shut I have
had three places so. far, -and in. each
one I found ray employer bad about
200 pounds that he used in the regu
lar course of business, and had a cer
tain way of framing his sentences.
To begin with a new employer is al
most like learning a new language.
The Worm in Bog's Tongue.
Gratius Faliscus, a poet of the first
century of our era, speaks of "the
worm" in the dog's tongue as being
the cause of rabies or hydrophobia.
Pliny, who lived in the same century,
writes: "If the 'lytta,' or small
worm, be removed from the dog's
tongue he will never become mad or
lose his appetite" Further on in
the same article he says: "If the
worm be carried thrice around a fire,
then fed to a person who has been
bitten by a mad dog, that person will
be freed from hydrophobia."
Most surgeons, as well as veterina
rians in general, caution people
against the cruel practice of remov
ing this so-called "worm," especially
as it has no bearing whatever upon
the dog's ability to transmit hydro
phobia. That standard work. -Babies
and Hydrophobia, 'V, by George
Fleming, London, 1872, gives the
following sound advice: "Removing
the 'worm' from the dog's tongue, or
?f-ttr,rmlrrr u. ih i Ttttmilarl v tprmpfl
has been practiced from the davs of
Pliny to our own time, and is, 8S
might be expected, a perfectly use
less, nay, injurious and painful oper
ation." This so-called "worm" lies beneath
the tongue in the middle, and is a
somewhat loose, tendinous-looking
fold of membrane. It constitutes
what is called the "fraenum" and is,
in fact, the "bridle" of the tongue
and is designed to assist the animal
in laping water. When in its ordi
nary or relaxed condition, this frae
num looks very much like a worm,
and the resemblance is perhaps even
more complete after it has been torn
from the poor animal's mouth- The
supposition that its removal will pre
vent a dog from becoming spontane
ously rabid, or liable to infection if
bitten by another dog suffering from
hydrophobia, is excessively absurd.
The presence of this imaginary worm
has no influence whatever in engen
dering the disease. Of this opera
tion Dr. Johnson said: "The 'worm'
is a substance, nobody knows what;
extracted, nobody knows why."
Tne Joke of the Parent,
"Thanks," said the Reverend Doc
tor, taking the match and lighting
the cigar. This reminds me of an
other match. Did you ever travel on
one of those branch-line independent,
go-as-you-please Southern railways?
I did once, and the monotony was
varied by a lovely incident As we
waited for the conductor at a station
where he stopped off to visit his fami-.
iy a young couple came aboard in a
hurry. Before long we learned that
they had eloped and were bound for
a Gretna Green just over the State
line, where the law didn't call for a
license and other delays in marrying.
They were greatly flustered because
the irate parent was in pursuit But
finally the train got away without
the parent appearing. I say get awav
and mean that it left the station, but
I A.X. .A 1.
LQe s13610" vou Know, wasui any
kiud of a racer. Finally the estate
"ne wa W ana e 10K-wirea
town reached, and as we all alighted
who do you suppose appeared? None
other than the irate parent His pa
tient mule had gone ahead, beaten
the train, and there stood the. parent,
a conquering hero, ready to intercept
the two. We found he'd been wait
ing nearly thirty minutes."
"But. Doctor," interrupted a lis
tener, "why didn't you perform the
ceremony on the train when you
reached the State line?"
"I dia," said the Doctor, quietly.
"That was the joke on the parent"
"C want to get a professional
nure," said the man whose wife
lather enjoys being ill.
"What for?'5 asked his friend, the
"For a professional invalid," said
the manwitb 'a wan, far-away mile'J
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STOCK IP-AJRRSINCa- TKnSS BASIS OP1 OXJK HSTI3X7STKIE3S.
WA-K.EENET, KANSAS, SATUHTJAT, OCTOBER 7, 1893.
fiam'i Horn Sounds a "Warning Note to
T""NhE devil never
JL wastes any pow
der on a corpse.
When a man
believes God he
they b'egin to
When sin came
into the world
( 5 it brought indo
lence along with it
Love is God's only weapon.
Faith never stops looking up.
Be prayerful and you will be care
ful. All lost sinners go to the same
God loves to speak to those who
Some people talk most about what
they know least
Some of the sweetest grapes grow
near the ground.
Evert man who follows Christ
leads somebody else
No man is near Christ who publicly
prays at somebody else.
If you haven't got much, be thank
ful and you will double it
The devil loves the man who lives
only to make others unhappjr.
You cannot tell how sharp a dog's
teeth are by the way he barks.
The more unbaptized money a
Christian has the worse he is off.
The man who loves right loves
God, whether he knows it or not.
The man who ha3 a character that
mud will stick to never feels safe.
Whenever a lion roars it is a de
claration of war against somebody.
There is no sinner more danger
ous than the highly respectable one.
A woman sometimes says more in
a look than a man can do in a book.
The man who is a stranger to God
is not much acquainted with himself.
Gqp does not want anybody to do
his work who does not enjoy his rest
When we look at the mountain it
grows, but when we look at God it
Try being as pleasant as you can
for a week, and see what will come
If you know that you hate your
neighbor, God knows that you do not
The devil would rather prove God
not good than to prove Him out ot
A hard place to find religious
warmth is in prayer meeting on a
Some of our prayers would mean
more in Heaven, if our money would
God always plants a good man
where' his life cannot be endangered
Obscurity on earth will never
keep anybody from owning a mansion
No man really loves right who is
not willing to espouse its cause and
go into battle.
Christ ate with the publicans and
sinners, but he never took a meal
with a hypocrite.
When a woman throws a stone or
drives a nail, she does it as though
her life depended on it
There is hope for the man who
has found out that there are many
things he doesn't know.
"Why Osborne Talked.
Bernal Osborne was for a long time
bribed to silence by his political op
ponents by appointment to office.
When the trammels were eventually
removed, he celebrated his liberation
by a rattling speech. "The voice of
the honorable member has not been
heard in this House for som3 years
pasV" thereupon observed Disraeli;
"throughout that period he has felt
theirksomenessvof restraint, and we
now hear the wild shriek of freedom. v
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COURTESY TO WOMEN.
The Demand for Equal Rights May Les
The courteous deference paid to
women by all who have the slightest
claim to be considered as gentlemen
is, in the opinion of many persons,
likely to be lessened by the demands
for equal rights and responsibilities
made Dy the advanced and progres
sive section ef the sex. The story of
.the lady who, on getting into a full
carriage, was met by the question
from the only male occupant as to
whether or not she was an advocate
for the equality of the sexes, and on
replying in the affirmative was in
formed she might stand during the
remainder of the journey, is scarcely
an exaggerated illustration of the
feelings of not a few men.
In some instances women appear
to recognize their increasing responsi
bilities, and a tale comes to us from
Newport, respecting a grand dinner
organized by ladies at an expensive
restaurant, where the viands were
partaken of to the music of a band,
ladies alone being present, the hus
bands being detained in the city by
the inexorable claims of business or
pleasure Each lady had the novel
experience of paying for herself (with
her husband's money), the feast be
ing what is known as a "Dutch
treat" We are further informed
that the whole proceeding was a suc
cess, and that, even at the end of the
day, "when the feast was o'er," and
the reckoning had arrived, when even
men are said to "laugh no more,"
there were no defaulters, and no lady
had unfortunately left her purse at
Seriously considered, the change in
the relative positions of men and
women must effect eventually many
of the smaller courtesies of life. The
man whose place has been taken by a
woman can hardly be expected to be
as lavish of his hospitality and as
careless of his expenses as when he
was in receipt of the income which
she now appropriates, and the ques
tion may De pushed still further, and
the inquiry made as to whether he is
likely to become the proprietor ef a
household of his own. New York
Turkey's Formidable Guns.
In 1478 Mahomet II, informing the
siege of Scutari, in Albania, employed
fourteen heavy bombards, the light
est of which threw a stone shot of
370 pounds' weight, two sent shots of
500 pounds, one of 750 pounds, two
of 850 pounds, one of 1,200 pounds,
five of fifteen, and one of the enor
mous weight of 1,640 pounds, enor
mous even in these days, for the only
guns whose shots, exceed the heaviest
of these are our 80-ton guns, throwing
a 1,700-pound projectile, our 100-ton,
throwing one of 2,000 pounds, and
the 110-ton, throwing an 1,800-pound
shot with a high velocity.
The stone shot of Mahomet's guns
varied between 20 and 32 inches in
diameter, about the height of a dining-table;
2, 534 of them fired on this
occasion weighing, according to a cal
culation of General Lefroy's, about
1, 000 tons, and were cut out of the
solid rock, on the spot Assuming 24
inches as the average diameter of the
shot fired at the siege, the total area
of the surface dressed was nearly
32, 000 square feet At this siege the
weight of the powder fired is esti
mated by General Lefroy to have
been 250 tons. At the siege of
Rhodes, in 1480, Mahomet caused
sixteen baslisVs, or double cannon, to
be cast on the- spot throwing balls
two to three feet in diameter.
The Oldest Banknote.
The British Museum has recently
acguired a Chinese bank note dating
back to the last years of the four
It-is the oldest- bank note known.
The first European bank, founded
at Barcelona in 1401, issued no bank
notes. The first ones circulated in
Europe were from jthe Bank of Stock
holm in 16B8:
Mrs Trank Xeslte's, memory, is
said not to be as good as it used to
he. She should be thankful.
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'GIRLS OF THIRTY."
One of Them Explains Why JMarrlisre Is
So Often Postponed.
"An article on 'Girls of 30' which
has been going the rounds of the ex
cnange column has compelled me,"
says a correspondent of the New York
Commercial Advertiser, "to arise in
my mighty mightness to frame a re
ply: 1 'Firstly and foremost, 'the post
poning of marriage' is traceable in
nine cases out of ten to the ineffi
ciency of men. A girl to get on to
30, if she begins to think of matri
mony at 18, has to stand between two
phases of the situation namely, her
father, who has given her being and
but little else besides and who appro
priates her earnings with perfect
composure, and a loveless marriage.
Having had sut.h an example as the
average lather of the day, the 18-year-old
girl does one of two things
either marries the man who first pro
poses to rid herself of footing family
bills or else stays on submitting to
wholesale indignities for mother's
sake until 30 is reached, and by that
time she has observed that the girls
of any age who have remained single
are by far the happiest.
"The fact that a butterfly class of
old girls with nothing to do does exist
only shows the grand class of unmar
ried women whose lives are a bene
diction in beautiful contrast The
butterfly tribe have always been of
that order, and no process of nature
or art can transform them into bees.
"Suppose, for the sake of argu
ment, we look at the boys of 40 or
more. Do they hasten into marriage?
Does the nineteenth century boy be
gin at 18 to save money, to have a
little bank account to invest should
a good chance offer? Does he not
rather bulldoze the governor and ex
tort money from the old woman to
pay for cigarettes and the like? Now,
suppose this callow nineteenth youth
does not get married before he is 25,
his wild oats continue to be sown,
and if he has money he settles down
as a round-about-town clubman,
spurning the idea of home and its
attractions, fearing constantly the
approach of mothers with marriage
able daughters. If, onjthe other hand,
our 30-year-old boy has but, little of
this world's good 5 he gives out to the
public that all women are created
extravagant and therefore he cannot
pay the bills.
"When our rich boy arives at the
rheumatic gout age he then looks
around for a woman (and their name
is legion) who will accept the posi
tion of matrimonial target for all
the grumbling and swearing of the
aforesaid gout-inflicted patient,, with
perhaps a bank account throwa in as
ballast Or it may be some old girl
of 30 has cherished an undying affec
tion for this boy of 50, and la some
of his lonesome moments, he has
thought of the old girl and remem
bered she had a knack for nursing,
that her touch was soft, her manner
sympathetic, etc., etc
"Our poor 50-year-old ooy remains
in his third-story back room, goes in
and out until sickness o'ertakes him.
If the landlady is sympathetic and
not too busy he fares tolerably welL
When his money is gone the ambu
lance is summoned and the hospital
finishes for him. unless he may be
connected with a family which has a
dread of hospitals and for fear of one
of their relatives being in such a
plight stretch their limited incomes
to take care of their bachelor uncle,
and it generally falls to the lotof
pome long-suffering girl of 30 or more
to be installed as head nurse.
"Girls of 30 who may enter the
matrimonial state if they have not
outgrown their girlishness are but
contemptible specimens ot their sex,
and that they do exist "more's the
"Now, Mr. Editor, the existence of
girls of 30 is a necessity, and they
will multiply if the nineteenth-century
man doesn't show signs of im
provement" First Girl Jack and I had a fall
ing out last night Second Girl (who
has been there) You., should: ,get -.a
ij..l i oat. J
&c OROOES, Propra
Ix 1504 some adventurous French
fishermen of Normandy and other
coast provinces of France prosecuted
their vocation off the shores of New
foundland, in the first French vesseli
that ever appeared there.
After the completion and arrange
ment of the census reports of popula
tion in 1870, a new apportionment of
representation was made, establish
ing the ratio of 137,800, and giving a
House of Bepresntatiyes of 283 mem
bers. On the demand of Henry Lawrence
of South Carolina, who entered into
the negotiations for a preliminary
treaty of peace, at a late hour, a
clause in the treaty (1782) was inter
lined prohibiting in the British
evacuation, the "carrying away any
negroes or other property of the in
habitants. " So this treaty of peace,
in which no word had, excepting in
directly, indicated the existence of
slavery in the United States, made
known to the world that men could
be held as property.
When Mr. Lincoln was inaugurated
the second time, with Andrew John
son as Vice President, there were
sure signs of a speedy termination of
the Civil War. Sherman's march
through Georgia and the Carol inas
showed the real weakness of the Con
federacy. In his inauguration ad
dress, March 4, 1865, Mr. Lincoln
spoke with hope, and when Chief
Justice Chase had administered the
oath loud shouts went up from the
multitude. The President retained
his Cabinet and started on a new term
of office with hope and satisfaction.
A little more than a month later he
tell by the hand of an assassin.
The capture of Louisburg was Lord
Loudoun's first care in the campaign
of 1757. He found himself at the
head of 600 provincials on the 1st of
June. He sailed from New York on
the 20th and arrived at Halifax on
the 30th, where he was joined by Ad
miral Holborne with a powerful naval
armament and 5,000 troops from En
gland. The combined forces , were
about to sail for Louisburg,. when in
formation reached Loudoun jthat G,
000 troops were in the, fortress, there,
and that the fleet, larger, than that of
the English, was lying in that, har
bor The latter, had, ,.got,the bast
position while .the inWept , Loudoun
was moving, with hi3 N accustomed
slpwness. .The enternrfs? was aban
doned, and on Aug. 31 ."L'pudoun, re
turnedto New York with intelligence,
that had met him on.theay oj cje-.
xeat ana aisgrace .to tue.XiUK"?"-
armies in the North.
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How to Eat a Watermelon.
The suggestions of an eminent'
citizen of Georgia for he selection
and eating of. a watermelon are gives
in his own words: It should be care
l ully chosen. In response to an eager
thump there should follow a dead-and
meaty sound. The melon should set
weigh less than 25 pounds. After it
is pulled it should be split from end.
to end with a pbortrbladed pocket
knife, so that in tearing it open the
glowing and juicy heart, bursting:
loose from its confinement, shall find
a lodgment on one side only. At this.
point the knife is to be thrown away.
For a moment the vision thus brought
to view; then the heart should be
scooped out with the hand, and the
nectarious meat thrust upon the hot
and thirsty palate. There ought to
be something savage in the enjoy
ment of a watermelon; it ought to be
crushed and swallowed with avidity.
New York Sun.
To Remove Dandruff.
Dandruff is increased by the use of
pomades and washes, and rough usage
with sharp-toothed combs. It may
be entirely removed by the applica
tion of the following simple mixture:
Take a small teaspoonf ul of powdered
borax, let it dissolve in a teacup of
water, and after first brushing" the"
hair well, wet the brush in the solu
tion and rub the scalp well with it.
Continue this treatment every day
for a week, and then twiqe a week;
until rjo trace of dandruff js left
A light affliction A gas bill.
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