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THE .N-ATl-ONA-t TiRIBUN'E;
-j. jif -i h ill (r iiiiii
CONGRESSMAN CONGER'S LOVE STORY.
' Hi Conger; of Mfchln, one of Mustorm-clotids'of tho
Elision, is villi Wiliest utul Wo'crot46okVii of nihil.
HisiiosO is ill ways .pocking into thct i'qqussus o hist i6utli9
, and hisses aro twisted, ,0w? V?; jy51101' thatnosi.
,WJ am ho laughs, every feature guts seared anil tries to
l! hide ; but after tins smile leaves, tho looked it6soWvs
Info position 6f6r the! Upland tlai eyes settle agaiiV'iuto
rtlrclr'Seutryt-boxes at either side the nbso.. Mr. Conger
has a lovo-history, which is very remarkable. Jlc hag a
smiling wife, fair, fat, and forty, who leans upon him in the
abandon of the honeymoon. She has dark hair, patted
ofSiiToothly on her cheeks, and she wears goldTrimmedfSpQC
taeles. She was his first love. A quarrel separated them.
'Each married. Twenty years after, he, a widower was
ilt Congress, she, a widow sat in' the gallery and' likened
tO' his speech. It was the first time they had seoineach
- .other since their Oarly days. She sent her ,cahl .to diim ;
, Jio came at ouee to the gallery. After a little talk, she
asked him to call upon her at her friend's, Mrs. Dahl
&rcn. Ho said he would cull, if he could come as: Mo' tised
-Vd'in those lon past days of -youth. Ima fevVwcel& they,
- wera married at Mrs'.' Admiral Dahlgren's a,psidcncej!,and
...aceompQtQly infatuated with, each- QthiWashinglpn
' ' -
iniKf !o ft
An April Fool.
., OU! silly .Violotl '
To think thnt spring was tapping nt yotjr Intohj
v icf tirigern Smoli of ifoivora. Did ydii' nbt' thbvt& ' U
, .Jloriprclty voice HkohqiUn on tlitiUi--'; ; ., ..
, , f)io tinkling rnin, with hover n wnd to bloiv it.
" In&M,ldua Violotl " f
; ' 'YotiSpmngtfrQm out your, bad, siioh a harry '
Tied .on your, cap nnd Iftood your kirtlo bltyo,
OpWdliio -dbor, nil bright vMi; Joyfiil nnrrjj, '
,; 'Andttliaro stpd ntuiKhty Jlnroh nwniting yoh J
Poor, foolish Violotl
Mteahtovoutt March, wlio'lovos to fool nnd tense,
'tyilWil0 2?Aver9 with Unds.nJl ohilly-niiKawd.
NljPfflMiPnaff'rtoh.'nhtnfliitrtifibrn InVTrMffd sneoiw,
: ,'jAnd jyiali tlnt thoy in Unuvni oorth holt ltygors, ;
Misguided Violet 1
Wnterit' tftot ho snwyou 1nndinS th'aiM' u ' ' ' '" '
, v, HbpJsMjd. anfli pulled, njifLoughlyj dragged ypu out-r-
' ' " ' AifdfrllfobP' 1iO'drioClli",wini lh'ughud'sftouu ' ;
. ,.!rT;,4HDa"jy!liUlO),Vlolotl"t i: f..' 'o-" il
The tours aro standing in liorbluo. blue oyos. - ,
"' ' yrfntfprStiVyntf!tl!i,6ywar, '
.vVl)lhp,dqoriStUI,.r.afu toj;lPO,j ;,,( n"1".
And wnjt the summons of the April fhiryr
L ? i
When a St, -Louis belly i?ets the car-ache, they tol'e the
fair sufferer down to the levee, put a Dale otYiJbale and a
.'lialf of i cotton into the. ear affected, and, ;play, some pare
' 'g&Hbipon it f rom a choinical eiigine. 1'his rarely fails to
.a'll'ect a cure. fihicdcjo Tribune. t And wlien a CliieaO
...rbelle lias the ear-ache, they treat lier Ml ,the same way,
Oiiljvthoy dou,'t go:out'.any where for a bale or twopf cot
VfOh! - TlWy'iistially ihvd'it about the suffereriS'ibmi'
' ' JlMiblicaiL, "" .
:'- - wi '
J . ' ! j. m"il
; ( ' M'lithii .iJ-i ;.
?A'U Oneidavstreet uirliant', .wh$RtaKjVfcgro:if. pndjsni
-kljCfplng'hi.Avalktwull sprinkled and -.swept, was standing
K ' n imtbov When the" i5iin began to; patter liiSt Week, When
a.piis'sing citizen remarked : fetodYs s'prinkiu' yoVr walk
.ior you Mo-day, I see." "Yes, yes,and 'He'-s doing it
.finely finely," remarked the merchant, and then added;
'By.tlie way. that reminds mo that he" is the: liit one!6n
thisjstree.t wlio. has,fa,Hqd to come ,in;.apd ljqrroy iuy
- sprinkler when he has siioh a job to i$."-Jllton 'Mints.
- -- ; T-r r . TTT7 .'. ' i i'i '
, r$ili GUUtDIAN Ji&GtSL (mivLBf . BeneVQldllt
clergyman to Jo: rwliy aro you, $ standing there, little
man?" Jo, l?0aiise I've uolvhcru to go to." Glergyr
4 man? '"Where are i your father and hiothbr?" Joj "Dtm-
, no I .Gone away this ever so long ! ' ' , Qlergym'an, Poor
, little fellow 1 Well, well, eajj ; you ansvei' me this ques-
tion'?i When your father and .mother forsake you, who is
it'th.jjlfc will take yoii )i ? " Jo, " The policeman.". '
i - , " ixt ' ' , ''..- '''.
Geueml Sherman's oflicial salary, iUs is stated v amounts
4lIouse,iiirWaslnngtou. 4rHo issaid to .eujpy Washingtoii
' gayeties greatly, and to feolaggrieved Avhb'iV there is not
; to use" his own words" some sort of afatidango" every
-? V ' ' . -i . .iAffc', '",.,' 1. :. '-
fo'abdut $lS,'00p a year, inclusive Of the usual -com niutti
ejyiQii for. suyphes..,, He liv.esTatj present,,, at,, the, Ebbil
'. ?S k
i T' . 11 J L. . -'"l.. J.'.. 1- b l.nr: nr' ' l".l- ,t
l i.uwu iinu jrucuiju.y.&gub.u mi ul mus v..esi. ioi coi
flection. Tho list came back with, the result .noted against
-each name, one being marked "dead." Three mouths
jlftflr the same bill got into a new lot that was forwarded,
'"'and 'AvlidL the; list came "back the naiii'eVwas marked "still
.ucau.?.1; .; 4a . . ,
W "J ' - - t. ! '-t:
little .v ; Minstrel smiles. "Oh ! . that will never do.,-It's
too wide for tho instrument."
)ho"bf the Kentucky Minstrels isvsittingic-r his tfafthi
racter. Operator,: " Now, sir,; look pleaants.mile a
- iGoyeriior Van Zaiidt, of Khode Island, has issued a
thanksgiving proclamation which, iu respect of brevity, is
.unsurpassed. Yet lie manages to say an excellent thing,
which deserves attention in other States besides Rhode
Island ; for, after requesting the people to assemble "and
return thanks to God for His tender mercies and loving
kindness," ho adds: "And may those who aro blessed
s with Abundance give liberally to the poor." This'reinmds
.' 'tis-of-Itowla'nd Hill's famous charity sermon.' AftUr'tin-
34uoiuioh)griio,tcxt, "Hetbatgiveth to the poor londuth
.to, the. Lord, and he. will repay him tenfold tho.eqentrm
preacher added: "Brethren and sisters, you hear tho
tornts of tho loan, and if you like the security, down With
ygiiV dust." This wa tho-entire sermon, Tint it is of re-.ficu-d
that- tho collection wast a fyovy-lib.qral. one. j -Wovhopo
UiatGoyornQr Van Zandta laconic proclamation will bo
eqiiiilly ofleetlvo with tiie extensive audience to winch it
,-i$l)(i niiui yho cit.a big jiolq-and a:little hole in, the door
so. that the b,ig.and the little cat could both go in and out.
has been matched by a Lowell man, who put up a single
beir in his house, and attached a'wiVe from it to liis front
door and One to1 tho back' door. It usually.takes-two
joprncys to discovetf'ftt which.doprtsoniejjody hast pulled
lit-. ' I
' ASvKE'i'iWuTH.-TIe Alle'iUoWn (PqiUi.) fiegialer ex-
pbses"a young man' ui tlfis remorseless way : "A mischiev
ous qUaolc'imAltobhatGityiiPenusylvania, advised a young
man with more hair than brains to use molasses water,
thp theory being that after the water evaporated, the re
bellious lpcVsuwotildccoaiesee and keep in place. He made
-intbilet'of'a Siiktayni6rhih, and taking a prominent
pew, concentrated the attention of. all tho tlics'innthe
jCliurch, much to:the, relief and: odilication pf the congrega
tion. After striking wildly about and damaging a palm-leaf
in undue vehemence, he made a break for the door, with
th6"-lliesVvahning:a,bout his poll."
it i not; every uicidej,wUo;'is as tlioughtiful as.,. Jeiiu
Baptfste Marins, the old Imfsellei of 2sTey York, who
'C6bklatidUtHim Saturday, and Vventiii his own language
to "see what isgoiilg on in the other world." ' Mr. Marius
considerately put oil' his act for twenty daysv in order to
Square up the month's .vent, lcit money huhis po.cket to
pay for Ills lunches during the last week, settled liisaffairs,
and apologized handsome1 ly to his landlord for the trouble
he wa3 about to make him.
- -j -- -
President Lincoln as an Anti-Slavery Man.
t . Mr.; Lincoln, .was, always an antirslavery man ; ;but, as I
have said, was never a political Abolitionist. Events and
war necessity compelled him to adopt the policy of eman
cipation, for which he has received und deserved merited
fhonOrsjbbt those who applaud his course in that respect
mit( to .mention, .that colonization and deportation of the
slavey, wlien set free, was deemed by him an essential
'iMrtf'6'f his 'emancipation policy. Whether right or wrong
tmntiha'b subject, it is not necessary to discuss, but the
; tiiuthfifeetV not be suppressed. Ho believed it would bo b0st
for, both the whites and blacks that the latter should leave
the'cQu'ntry, or, as he expressed it in his interview with
'the' colored representatives, "it is better for ris both tbrbe
'separated." KnWing his convictions and earnest solici
tude on? this, branch pt his policy, I have sometimes. dpub.teti
vhether he, would not have hesitated longer iu issuing the
decree of emancipation had he been aware that colonizai
'Cion WOuld not be accepted as an accompaniment. Gideon
Wells; in t?te Galaxy for October. '
' :IL U PrlsTtlent liinVoIn Duelist.'? f
Very few people know that President Lincoln once came
very near lighting a duel. A newspaper correspondent in
Illinois thus tells the st6ry :; It was souiewhero about tho
year 1S40 that the writer, then a small boy, living in a
lit'tlM village on the line of the old State road running
from St. Louis to Indianapolis, met, one morning as he
wa going to market, one of the colored boys, -who had
been a house servant of his father's, in the State of Ala
bnnia; seated upon a first-class carriage. I asked Hiram
for that was his name where he came from and where ho
was going to' ' Ho' replied : "From Springfield, sir, and
am taking one of' Hfo" gentlemen down to Bloody Island
'to light." "Bloody Island" is now known as East'st'
H' 7 ... , - -or,,,..,, , ..., .. . .... ?
, Liouis, anu irom aozu iul jiv, uuuercno m:st uonstltutton
Of Illinois, there were perhaps not less than one hundred
Hindis fought thereon. It turned out that the gentlelnen
vvho were to slaughter o'hc another upon this bloody field
were' W61ie less than Abraham Lincoln, of "Black Hawk"
war fame, and the then Captain Paddy Shields, who had
$edtt,rserv.icejn the British' Army. Arid here let uf say
tlTat'it wjts' because they stopped for breakfast at our little
village that perhaps Lincoln was spared and saved to make
fdr himself such a grand and glorious name throughout
-tho world as he afterwards did, and that Shields became a
true and honored soldier, not only m the Mexican, but in
the war to preserve the Union, for the Circuit Court-was
then in session for that county, and in attendance were
someof the leading lawyers of the district, among whom
were Lincoln's and Shield's personal and political friends,
aritV'as spoil as it was noised about as it Was immediately
after breakfast that they had gone to "Bloody Island-"
to fight then it was that Stephen A. Douglas, who. was at
the tinta prosecuting attorney for obr' district, E. W. Eng
lish, our member of Assembly, and A. W. Cavarly, our
Senator, all three of whom were warm political friends pf
Captain Shields; Colonel John J. Hardin, afterwards
killed at Buena Vista, and Colonel Edwin D. Baker,
killed at Ball's Bluff, friends of Lincoln, started. in hot
pursuit? tO'Overtake' the duelists. In this they did hot suc
ceed till they reached the ground npon which the fight
was to take place. Upon their arrival they found both
Lincoln and Shields ready for the combat. They soon
succeeded in inducing Shields to withdraw the challenge
for five ininutes, in order that Lincoln might raake'ati ex
planation, and should this be satisfactory to Shieldsp-lie
(Shields) should not in future attempt to find oubpr dis
cover who might have been the author of the newspaper
article from which the trouble arose. As soon as Captain
Shields withdrew the challenge, Mr. Lincoln at oncie 'as
sured him, on his honor as a man, that be had never'seen
or heard of. the article in question till he read the -samej ;iu
the morning paper, and that he was in no sense responsi
ble for the same, but had simply espoused the authorship
of it in order to protect the good name pf a most estimable
young girl in Springfield. ' This settled Svhat might have
terminated in a bloody .affair. The would-be combatants
shook hands, and were ever afterwards good friends. But
for years the question was, Who wrote the article? it is
iiow aii o'pe'h secret In Springfield. 'It seems that a Miss
Jay ne, who had recently graduated from MonticelloiSem
inary, and -who was quite a peUe at tiq capital had-thjee
young lawyers as her admirers. Mr. Lincoln was one and
Captain Shields was another, and she had written the
article 'which the Irish soldier thbugltt was a redection
upon himself, for he, be it known, was a' very vahmn'an,
and tipnsUlere.tl himself handsome, either .Shields,. nor
Lincoln married thegirl, but she became the honored'
and lqviiig wile of Lyman Trumbull.
. The filtsbuwh Post claims to have .examined with great
care the actual losses by the great railroad riot in that city,
alkl asserts that' the' 'final awards will not vary far' from
tlie following : ' '" .-. ' ; p".
Railroad Company !.....;. $1,500(000
Freight destroyed 1,000,000
Elevator ;;...u h.:-j. 1ii0;000
Keystone Hotbl Company.. ...: , - 100,000
Pullman QarCompan.. , iit. . 0,000
Private individuals .....-..; 100,000,
Total........... iu $2,980,000
Justice tia:admiuistei-ed in a very primitive way at 2?Qi;th
ampton,;Mass. A receut visitor there dropped into a, jus
tice's court in time to see an old- offender com milted for
twentfy days. Glancing out of the window soon after, the
visitor saw tho suppose! prisoner walking alone pii.tho
s.treet " Why,", he asked; "where is Unit man going?"
"To jail, where d'sent him," calmly replied the justice,
"And is that the way dn;do criminal business in Haihp
shire county?" '"Always, u was the bland reply. "Mrl
Olllcer, uoxt ease ! "
Anecdote of General Butier.(
Senator Blaine tells the following good story of Gen.B.
F. Butler, and vouches for its truth : The mortality during
the last sQssion.'otthe Foi'tyrthivd Congress was unusually
great. Messrs. Hooper and Crocker of Massachusetts,
Horsey of Maine, Rice.oi Chicago, and several otherM'iem-
-jbqrfy diefj ;dn.rhvg jthe sessioij-mul a Siiturday afternoon,
was set apart for the custpmary eulpgie. On thQay
before, General Butler went up to the Speaker's desk" to
inqiiire w'hat the order of exercise was to be, Mr: Blaiue
. replied thab the arr.mgoineuts on such occasions woregtu-
;rally .madjj by the colleagues of the member whose, cmlp-
gies wore, to bepronouuced.auj! that General Butler cukl
pfobabiy learn what the order of exercise would be by
a'skltii; almost anyone of His fellow-members froih Mlifesa-
,cllus(S6ts.''WGVvsatd General Butler, "Pm liot'TiFthe
oJpi?ii lHg Uub IU1 bad-H.ViiI don't mukeApepch
I mi oidfoor if jfyfty dpn'hut me o(fl with the iiyJns
1 '-A" ClunoW!muii the
xttrbmboii9 iplayorj wind' Offered hunv.Vt "hantlsma'-offate"
mout hi China, "for," ho saul, "I have neverseenjug-
ler.vyho-eo-nld swallow as inuob. bms as you, aid spit? it
out again, and yet tho people here seem to regard It as an
o very-day affair.
iMPf t w JTfmif "" i- "?
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