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THE NATIONAL TlilBUNE: WASHINGTON, IX C, SEPTEMJJEJl 17, 1SS1.
THE SONG OF THE SAW.
With careworn face and a ragged coal
That napped in the wintry blast,
J, n old man stood by a log of wood.
And his saw was Hying fast,
His saw was flying fast.
And the air with its music rang,
And tuning his throat to the dissonant note.
This mournful song he wing :
"Saw! saw! saw J
Tn eold, in heat, and in rain,
'fill every stroke in the reasoned oak
Seems tearing into my brain.
Tim coat on my back is old,
3fy home is a hovel poor.
And my saw I run from sun till sun,
To keep the wolf from the door.
".Saw! saw! saw !
Through knot and knarls 1 go,
And my breath comes quick as the log grows thick
And the saw runs heavy and slow.
Oh, you in your cosy rooms.
With all that your hearts desire,
TLs not the wood, but human blood,
You're burning upon the fire.
"San: saw! saw!
Forever the whole day long,
And at night it seems that my torturing dreams
Arc fdlcd with the grating song.
The. log is a human life,
My saw is the course of time,
And'every stroke in the seasoned oak
Ts a year from a wasting prime;
And as 1 near the bark,
More swiftly my saw does run,
Tiil the billet drops, and then it stops
Like lime when life is done.
"Saw! saw! saw!
How long is the weary day
Till the sun lias set, and I sadly get
At night my paltry pay.
Tis, oh, to be a horse
In my rich employer's stall
If I must toil, and sweat, and moil.
To earn a cup of gall ;
For he at least has care.
And the best of food has he,
While scant is my sliare of the hardest fare.
And nobody cares for me."
Saw! saw! saw!
And shrinking before the blast,
An old man stood by a pile of wood,
And his saw was flying fast,
His saw was flying fast,
And the wind was biting and raw,
And still as he severed the logs in two,
Oh, would that the world his misery knew.
He sang the "Pong of the Saw."
AVjcrt B. Paine.
PLAYING AT CIRCUS.
Mr. Biggs was sauntering around the Union
Depot as the evening train came in from Buffalo,
-when surprised with :
"Why, Biggs! How are you, old fellow ?"
'-Well, if it ain't Jack Duncan! Glad to scp
you. Come right along home with me."
"2?o, Biggs, I'm too dirty. Been snowed in on
ihe road; helped shovel snow, slept in a bar-
.uvi. V.r.i-,-,'4- lol o nlinniTA ni' cliirtfi for 'A Wfek."
tU L vfa- - w ,
"Spernund appearances, nobody at the house. ,
t -ri. 4i i -.,. nn nil nir"hr !
IS. y wife took the three p. m. tor an all night
r., . . , ti "ii tmi r,.;cii o '
with her sister in Pamesville. Ill furnish a
shlrttmd I've not a fine bath-room in the house. ,
Oome, now: you haven't honored me since I
"Well, since the wife is away I'll surrender.
We'll have a regular rooster night of it.'
.Tnrfr Thinrain is n luirfiftlor. with a holv horror -
t- , .oi, ,i "with these little Chinese gun-vessels, with a
of women. Feminine presence paralyzes and .
, ,,.c , . ' speed oi sixteen knots, which could be main-
.sf ultines him. 1. , , ' .
-Here's the linen," showing him into the hath- , tamed for nearly a week, and a turning power
room a few minutes later. "There's the hath enabling them to steam in a circle ol loO yards
all readv. Now shape up while I go down to Joe ; nid.u. these little vessels could choose their own
HiAnraVsand order up one of our old college range, and while discharging shells at a corn
lunches. Nobodv in the house: so just splash paratively large target would be themselves
around at pleasure."
Kiggs departed, leaving the door ajar. Jack
did not notice it in his eagerness for emersion.
He had just tumbled out and resumed his aii
f&rioons when he heard footsteps approaching the
door. Thinking it w:is T.iggs returning lie sieed
the freshly laundricd shirt, opening at the buck,
and jammed his head into it. It came down over
his iace, completely blindfolding him. ami. the
tanh lutflled his efforts to tunnel through.
Just as he commenced straddling around with
siiSKinder dangling, he heard a rustle that con
cealed his blood. The door -.queaked. and a
clierry T'oicx said :
Now Tve got you Mr. liiggs. The train left
me, so 1 made a call -or two and came back. I
hc:ird you playing sea lion in the bath-room as I
entered the boue-, 1 got the buggy whip and
slipped up to pay you back for everlastingly teas
m roe. Now. I'm ring master, dear hubby.
Move lively!" And she popped her whip in a
business way that suspended the bachelor's ani
mation. The shirt hid his face, and, taking his
silence for a spousal submission to the joke, she
""Gentleman and ladie: Mademoiselle Biggs,
queen of the sawdust arena, will now introduce
her handsome and perfectly trained trick mule,
Hubby Darling. He will walk the arena on hi
hind feet with his head and forepaws shrouded
in a linen canopy. Come now, 1 Tubby! Hoop la!
hoop la!" she chirped, fetching him a wipe with
the whip that made his bare feet spank the floor
like a iHog dancer.
"Limber up Hubby! Lively now. Up, up,
rrv' and she underscored the last "up' with a
briar cut, making Hubby Darling ski) so impul
sively that darling's dangling suspender swished
about like a donkey's tail, and his hands dove
instkn-tly to the preservation of his unstayed
M I blindfolded Hubby Darling to prevent him
tifimbing the center-pole. He's the trickiest
donkey that vsivorts the magic circle. The peer
Jess prance of the canvas pavillion. Hoop la!
(Zip she takes him.) What beautiful action!
Yet, fellow-countrymen, I never curry him down
with anything but this silk-blo.ssomed snapper.
Hoop hi! (Popkerslash.)
"I cover his ears that be may not ofl'end the
-most fastidious: they resemble a cross between
za mail bag and tQ human appendage. Hoop, la!
Zip, -zip. I Let the Golden Cornet Band dish up
Fishers Hornpipe red-hot and highly flavored,
iuid Hubby Darling shall "
' I?-b-beg your p-pardon, m-madam," sputtered
the victim, as bis bead and voice shol out of the
She started, .-.lopped.
Spell-bound, amazed ;
The whip ,he dropped,
And then ilie rawi
A Cherokee shriek
.And down -.he.doppc'l.
But the terrified sufferer caught her gallantly
in his arms, just as Biggs rushed in with
"Jack, are you drowning? Great heavens! my
t Take her Biggs. I'm t uekered out . A wk ward
"Explain yourself instantly, sir! You half
dressed, my wife in your arms!'' and he bristled
1 all over like a harbed wire fence.
; " 1 fold on, Biggs: I've got about all I can stand.
Let me get my clothes on and I'll go where men
are not mart vrs. Your wife thought 1 was "
"Hubby, darling oh. that blindfold!'1 mur-i
mured the queen of the arena, half consciously. '
:lfear that, sir! What's that about blind-.
fold?" " j
" I srot stuck in that confounded shirt. Your i
wife took me for "
"The Peerless Pmncer of the Avena. Hoop
la!" gasped the queen, rousing a little.
"Merciful heavens! Hear that raving! You've
dethroned my wife's reason. Oh, base ingrate!
Don't leave this house at the peril of your life.
" Dance the sawdust on his hind feet," mut
tered the queen convulsively.
" My poor wife ! I will avenge your wrongs."
groaned Biggs, chafing her limbs agonizingly.
" My head was fast in the shirt. She couldn't
see my face and thought it was you," shrieked
the tortured, hoarsely.
"Very likely! Be a man, sir. Don't shrink
from the punishment of your treachery ! "
"Where am I? Is it a dream?" mused the
queen, opening her optics and glaring wildly.
"What has that villain done?" demanded
She hitched on at once.
" Oh, mercy ! It is no dream. I f e did nothing.
Take me to my room. Oh, husband how could
you be so careless ! "
" Don't go, Jack : maybe I've made a zebra of
myself; stay now till the fog rises : and he bore
his wailted wife away.
An hour later thev sat around a marvelous
supper, Biggs made a second trip to order. They
held their sides and shrieked and repeated the
. . L
points ot the episode, again anu again.
Jack is christened lt Hubby Darling." He sighs
for more marriage felicity.
j When Biggs wants to silence his wife he snaps
his fingers and pipes Hoop la!"
GREAT GUNS! I
A dispatch from Yokohama, August 12, re--
ports the arrival at Shanghai, in charge of .
British officers, of the Hew alphabetical gun
boats, the Iota, Kappa, and Lambda. Eleven of '
these vessels have been sent out thus far, and !
two more are to he delivered, or thirteen alto-
Armstrong & Co. The
J . ' ? . A
last two are an improvement on the others, and
1 .cm ti;
of them Broad Arrow says: ''The Italian
.ln, orA nf ,,nm Hc-nW-
"4 ", ; ' -, ,,' nftf,
ment, and the Inflexible weighs upwards of 10,000
! tons, and yet we find a little gun-vessel of 1,350
! tons ranking but second to them in regard to
! the penetrative power of the guns carried. There
ls " uiutimuicu -i ." -1-
JiniClUiUiy UllUlil mu iuii vi uii piuis un
which our unarmored vessel.-, are armed. L'ntil
very recently the Admiralty conception of a fit
armament for our largest unarmored frigates,
such as the Iiacrliantr clas. was a battery of (M
pounders mounted on truck carriages. But here
we have an unarmored gun-vesM'l carrying two
20-ton 10-inch breech-loaders, besides other guns,
and fitted with a steel knife-edged ram. All the
machinery and magazines are below water, and
further protected by :i steel deck the vessels
are built of .-teel. They are divided into a great
number of waiter-tight compartments, and in
which coal is stored, and they carry enough coal
to enable them to steam at a speed of eight
knots per hour for four weeks continuously, or
a total distance of rather more than G000 miles."
Each of these heavy guns commands a nearly
all-round fire. The charge of the guns is 130
pounds of powder, and the weight of the pro
jectile 100 pounds, the penetrative power equal
to piercing IS inches of solid, unbacked iron
plate. They carry besides in each four 10-
iwlm 1ivnol.lnii1inir irniK ftvn Q.nnmwlw
'"""" '"." " -""7 if ir
UlCCl'Il-HJlUllHii ji !-, -"V ..ViV.V ..!.. VI...-. .V iW.
(ratlings, and furthermore two steam cutters
fitted with spar torpedoes. Their superior speed
and greater range and power of artillery would
enable them to in some measure cope with an
iron-clad, since they could ordinarily choose
their own distance, and from their diminutive
ness would be very hard to hit: nor would a
single shot by any means disable them, owing to
the under-water and other protection given to
their vital parts. China went to England for
her gunboats, but now goes to Germany for iron
clads of larger types. A shipbuilding firm, which
had already one armored corvette for China on
the tocks. has just received an order for another
of the same class.
THIS, THAT. AND THE OTHER.
An old man with a head as d' ;titute of hair
as a watermelon entered an A us in avenue drug
store, and told the clerk be .mtcd a bottle of .
hair restorer. "What kind of hair restorer do
you prefer?" "1 reckon I'll have to take a bottle '
of red hair restorer. That was the color it used
to be when I was a boy." Aleck Rtrvet.
The man who sits down on the road to success
and waits for a free ride will get left. Whitehall
Times. And the man who jumps on the tail
board ol" Mime one else's success will be greeted
with a cry of "whip behind."' New Jfaven I'ey
i.tcr. And be who drives another man's success
. will be forgotten in the rush and hurry to giv j
glory and honor to the favorite. Sleubeiirille
And be who is succcs full i apt to bubble ;
over. X vriox.w. Tkiw.vk.
Deathbed repentance is burning the candle of ; towed three miles did the captured captors suc
life in the service of the devil, then blowing the ! ceed in cutting the ropes and saving themselves
1 snutVin the face of heaven. Lorenzo Dow. j
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TURNING THE TABLES.
A whale was recently stranded on an outlying
point of the island of Walls, Orkney. fJlorying
in their prize, inhabitants of all ages and both
sexes hastened to the spot with knives, pitch
forks, clubs, and what ever other weapons they
could lay their hands on, and began to cut, stab,
slash, and maul the monster. At length, when
their victim was pronounced to be dead, they
fastened ropes to the prize and began to tow it
into the harbor on the rising tide. Suddenly the
whale, feeling bis native element about him.
made a bold dash for liberty and rushed out to
sea, dragging the fleet of screaming arcauians in
their boats behind him. Not until they had been
and their boats from shipwreck.
GEORGE E. LEMON
WASHINGTON. 1). c.
Attorney -at-Law and Solicitor of
United States and Foreign
Established in 18Gr.
CAN I OBTAIN A PATENT?
Send a rough sketch or (if you can) a model of your
invention to Gkokge K. Lhmox, Washington, D. C,
and a Pkei.imi.vary Examination will be made of all
United States Patents of the same class of inventions,
and you will be advised whether or not a patent can be
For this Preliminary Examination No Charge is Made
WHAT WILL A PATENT COST?
If you are advised that your invention is patentable,
send $20, to pay Government application fee of 15, and
So for the drawings required by the Government. This
amount is payable when the application is made. This
is all of the expense, unless a patent is allowed. When
allowed the attorney's fee ($25) and the final Government
fee (20) is payable.
By these terms you know beforehand, for nothing,
whether you are going to get a patent or not, and no
attorney's fee is charged unless you do get a patent.
An attorney whose fee depends on his success in obtain
ing the patent will not advise you that your invention
is patentable, unless it really is patentable, so far as his
l)est judgment can aid in determining the question;
hence, you can rely on the advice given after a prelimi
nary examination is had.
DESIGN PATENTS and the REGISTRATION OF
LABELS and TRADE-MARKS secured.
CAVEATS prepared and filed.
Applications for the REISSUE OF PATENTS care
fully and skillfully prepared and promptly prosecuted.
Applications in revivor of rejected, abandoned, or for
feited cases made. Very often valuable inventions are
saved in these classes of cases.
If you have undertaken to secure your own patent
and failed, a skillful bundling of the case may lead to
success. Send me a written request addressed to the
Commissioner of Patents that he recognize George E.
j Lemox, of Washington, D. C, as your attorney In the
case, giving the title of the invention and about the date
of filing your application. An examination will be made
of the ease, and you will be informed whether or not a
patent can be obtained. This examination and report
icfff cost you nothing.
Interference Contests arising within the Patent
Office between two or more rival claimants to the same
subject-matter of invention, attended to.
Appeal Remedies pursued in relief from adverse
Searches made for title to inventions.
CorrES of Patents furnished at the regular Govern
ment rates, (25 cents each, if subsequent to 18G6. Pre
vious patents, not printed, at cost of making copies.)
Copies ok Official. Records furnished.
Opinions rendered as to scope, validity, and infringe
ment of Patents.
In fact, any information relating to Patents and to
property rights in inventions promptly furnished on the
most reasonable terms
Remember this office has been in successful operation
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ence. Reference given to actual clients in almost every coun
ty in the United States.
Address, with stamp for reply,
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WASHINGTON, I. C.
THE NATIONAL TRIBUNE.
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.STORIES OF TUB WAR.
POEMS. ANECDOTES, &c,
IN EACH NUMBER.
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Lock-iSox 'Mm. G'Hi K St., Washington, D. C.
O, those tiny little ants.
How they clamber up our pants
At the picnic 'neath the willow. in the glen.
How they seem to take delight in
The obnoxious sport of bitin'
Indefensible and modet gentlemen.
How delightful when one's cooing
To the maiden one is wooing.
To feel those playful creatures in his pants...
Till he breathes an awful swear
Upon the perfumed air.
At the sisters and the cousins and the ants.
How its sets one's soul a-throbbing
To feel those insects bobbing
Up and down his system in their merry glee;
Rut there's one way he can right 'em,
And that is to flee and fight 'em
'Neath the shadow of some distant friendly tree.
The Brandon Union.
Answers to Correspondents.
We are obliged to answer certain inquiries of the same
nature in each issue of our paper. "While we cheerfully
furnish information to subscribers in this column, we
suggest that much labor, time, and expense may be saved
both to ourselves and to our correspondents, if the latter
and other subscribers would keep a file of the paper.
They could then, at any time, turn to the file and proba-
; bly find the very inquiry answered about which they
j would have written to us. "We trust that each and every
; subscriber will profit by this suggestion.
, .1. 15., Utica, X. V. Any information with refor-
eiice to our National Cemeteries will bo "iven Iiv
J addressing Quartermaster s Department lOs.Armv.
- ashmgton, D. ('.
J. G. B. Xatick, Mass. Camp Butler, Illinois,
was located some eight or ten miles from Springfield.
It was a depot for recruits ami rebel prisoners.
M. IX. Nashua, X. H ..,,,,,.f ,.,.,..,. ;-,. :..
! advance, to publish any notice it must first be'ex-
. iu piuniMi any noticc-
- . - -- - -. .luu urnu.iu. 111
J. L.. Trkxtox, N. J. I ho information vou seek
will be found in another part of our paper, a copv of
which we send you.
L. C. D., Elmira. X'. Y. The Soldiers' Home, near
this city, is only intended for soldiers who havi' Wi.
I in the Regular arm v.
H. A. L., Kacixk. Wis. The rate of pension for a
disability incapacitating for any manual labor was.
up to June G, lSb'G, .-?S a month : from that date to
June 4, 1872, it was $'20 a month : and from the last
date and at present, $24 a month. The phrase "any
manual labor," which occurs in the law, is construed
to include the lighter kinds of labor requiring edu
cation and skill.
0. 0., Newark, X. J. A homestead may be lo
cated by an ex-soldier or sailor through an agent,
but at the expiration of six months the principal
himself must locate and commence cultivation:
otherwise all claim to the tract will be forfeited.
; G. B. K., Newark, 0. The Equalization Bountv
; Bill proposes to grant a bounty of eight and one
j third dollars a month for each month of actual ser
vice, deducting all United States bounty already re
I ceived. Multiply 8.V by the number of months you
j served, and from the product subtract the amount
i of bounty you have received the remainder, if any,
; will show you the amount to which you will be en
! titled if the said bill becomes a law.
1 J. F., IIolyoke, Mass. Claims arc not allowed iu
I rotation. For instance, claim No. 203.G04 may be
immHU "iuic eiaun o. iv-i,zv.j.
J D. W., FlTTSBUKO, Pa. Q. What is meant bv
, "Additional Homesteads'' under section 2306 of the
! Revised Statutes? A. An "Aditional Homestead"
j under section 2306 Revised Statutes, is made and
allowed in cases where a person who was a soldier
' in the rebellion for not less than ninety davs and
i who, having been honorably discharged, did, on and
I before June 22, 1S64, make a homestead for less than
160 acres. Under this section 2306 ln is nllnwl fn
I make an additional entry for the amount of ditfer
1 ence between the area of the original homestead and
160 acres. If he does not choose to make the eutrv
in person and at once, he can have a certificate of
his right made by the General Land Office, this citv.
and the paper covered by the certificate is called an
"Approved Additional Homestead Ilight."
R. . P., ork, Pa. You should address the Sur-
, geon-General of the Army, Washington, D. C, in re
gard to the matter referred to in your letter.
X. E., Desmoi.ves, Iowa. The Government fur
nishes headstones for the graves of all soldiers who
died during or since the late war, upon application
for same by relatives or friends. Address the Quartermaster-General
of the Army, this city.
G. S.. Portland, Oi:. The pension granted to a
discharged soldier during his lifetime cannot be in
creased after his death.
V. J.. Ql-ehec. Ca.w One commissioned officer or
two enlisted men are required in a pension claim to
corroborate claimant's statement :is to the time
when, places where, and circumstances under which
the alleged disability was contracted.
T. V. Atlanta. CJ a. Claims for property taken
, by the United States A nay. in States not in insur-
! Jion during the late war, if filed prior to January
tl, locO, can be prosecuted and collected upon the
wcw pof ing adduced.
J. 13. C Troy. X. Y. We cannot advise or sug-
gest to ex-soldiers and sailors in what portion of the
' United States they will find the most desirable
1 lands on which to locate thtir homesteads, but we
advise them to write to the Commissioner of the
I General Land Office here and he will send all who
seek information on the subject a pamphlet telling
1 all about our public lands.
i D. IL B.. Burlington, Iowa. Up to a recent
date a deserter at large from the rolnnterr service
i could obtain a dishonorable discharge, and by thus
having his military record completed, obtain a peu
I sion if entitled thereto; but ex-Secretary of War
'aRamsey. just before retiring from the War Office,
issued an order to the efteet that no discharges in
; such cases should be issued. The Commissioner of
1 Pensions has now the matter of allowing pension in
tins class ot cases under consideration, and we will
make known his decision when rendered. The
above refers to those who have never received a
final discharge. We wonld. however, advise all
such to apply, as they will no doubt eventually
j Remaining answers next week.
SOME NATRAL HISTORY.
IJV JOSH HILLINGS.
Fleas. The smallest animal of the brute crea
tion, and the most pesky, iz the Ilea.
They are about the bigness ov an onion seed,
and shine like a bran new shot.
They spring from low places, and can spring
further and faster than any of the bug brutes.
They bite wuss than the musketeer, for tba
bite on the run: one (lea will go all over a man's
suberbs in '2 minits, and leave him asc freckled a.
It is impossible to do enny thing well with a Ilea
on you except sware,aud ileus ain't afraid ov that;
fiw. i.- -..- i .. ...,; ;.,:., it i i i
the oim wa i. to quit biziness ov all kinds, and
, . , ,,
nimt tor t,,e u'il " when you have found him
he ain't there. This iz. one ov the flea mysteries.
tjie faokulty tllCV have of beinii" entirelv lost ill
, .. , ..
us. im u.ii i liiiiuu menu
I don't suppose there iz eer killed, on an aver
age, during enny one year, more than 10 fleas in
the whole of the United Stares ov Amerika, un-
i less thare iz a casualty ov some kind ; once in a
! while thare iz :i dog gits drownded sudden, and
j then thare may be a few fleas lost.
, They are ahout az hard to kill az a flaxseed iz.
and if you don't mash them az tine az ground
pepper, they will shirt bizness again on a small
kapital.just az petiverous azever.
Thare iz lots ov people who have seen a flea, and
it takes a pretty smart man to see one enny how:
they don't stay long in a place.
If you ever ketch a flea kill him before you do
ennything else, for if you do put it oil" '2 minits
it may be too late.
Menny a flea has passed away forever in less
time than 2 minits.
P,ob Ingersoll says there is such a place after
all, and that the thermometer stands at 102.
Critics are sentinels in the grand army of let
ters, stationL'd at the corners of newspapers and
reviews, to chaVenge every new author. Long.