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THE NATIONAL TRIBUNE: WASHINGTON, D. C, OCTOBER 15, 1881,
8
SEASIDE DREAMS.
My fair love sits by the sounding sea,
The waves toss their foam to her feet,
And I wonder docs she think of me,
My love so utterly bweet?
Robed in iUhthetic garb is .she,
The colors arc yellow and green,
In her hand a sunflower nods to me
As large as ever was seen.
The winds blow wild, her hair so brown
Is tossed in a shining maze,
Across her breast the locks are thrown
In the sunset's ruddy blaze.
Her eyes are not fixed on a distant sail,
And her thoughts nre not on the sea,
She hears not the wind or the curlew's wail,
Has never a thought for me.
She dreams of loves won long before
She sat by the sounding sea,
The hearts she has Avon, the scalps in store
Some thirty and two or three
And the waves roll in and wet her feet,
And the crab they nibble her toes, .
But to recall her conquests is so sweet
She does not know it blows.
I try in vain for a word or a smile
Prom my love by the sounding sea ;
I'll twine a weed on my tallest tile,
For she never will tliink of me ;
But will sit and dream on the sandy shore
Till the waves pass over her head ;
She never will write to her friends any more.
And so they will know she is dead.
Will S. S. in Syracuse Journal.
VENTRILOQUISM.
" Who were the greatest ventriloquists? " asked
a reporter of Prof. Owen Dixon.
"Well, there -was an old Athenian named Eury
kles, who is spoken of in history as master of the
art. Then there were Prof. Alexandre and Louis
Brabout of modern times. They were both French
men. Brabout lived in the fourteenth century, I
believe, and was said to be the best ventriloquist
the world ever knew. Alexandre lived at an ear
lier period, and was noted more for his mimetic
representations than his ventriloquial powers.
Prof. Love of England was celebrated, in the art,
and was rivaled by Prof. Harrington, who died
recently in Revere, Mass. Of those living to-day,
Frederick McCabe and E. D. Davies are the great
est. Davies is now retired in Australia and Mc
Cabe has recently signed a contract to go there
the present season. Davies was the first ventrilo
quist to introduce 'figures' as an assistance in
the art in America.
"McCabe was a great practical joker. Several
years ago he was on board a Mississippi steam
boat, and, forming an acquaintance with the en
gineer, he was allowed the freedom of the engine
room. He took a seat in a corner, and, pulling
his hat over his eyes, appeared lost in reverie.
Presently a certain part of the machinery began
to squeak. The engineer oiled it and went about
his usual duties. In the course of a few moments
the squeaking was heard again, and the engineer
rushed over, oil-can in hand, to lubricate the same
spindle. Again he returned to his post, but it was
only a few moments until the same spindle was
squeaking louder than ever. "Great Jupiter!"
he yelled, " the things's bewitched." More oil was
administered, but the engineer began to smell a
Tat. Pretty soon the spindle began to squeak
.again, and slipping up behind McCabe, the engi
neer squirted half a pint of oil down the joker's
back. " There," "said he, "I guess that spindle
won;t squeak any more!" The joke was so good
that McCabe could not keep it, and he often tells
it with as much relish as his auditors receive it.
"At another time McCabe was confronted by a
highwayman on one of the lonely streets of Cin
cinnati as he was returning to his hotel from a
moonlight picnic. The robber presented a cocked
revolver to the ventriloquist's head, demanding
his money or his life. McCabe's quick wit saved
him. He threw his voice behind the robber, ex
claiming, " Hold, villain, 3ou are my prisoner!"
The frightened scamp turned his head, and Mc
Cabe dealt him a blow that felled him to the
ground. He then secured the revolver and
marched the scoundrel off to the police station.
" Louis Brabout, the great French ventriloquist,
was also a great joker. The story is told of him
that he fell in love with a beautiful young novi
tiate who was soon to take the veil. The senti
ment was returned, and Brabout arranged for an
elopement. His inamorata succeeded in getting
outside the convent wall, and the two hurried
away to the house of a neighboring priest. The
holy man was awakened and requested to perforin
the ceremony. His refusal was a thing to be ex
pected, but Brabout was too cunning for the old
man. When he said "no! "most emphatically,
and was about to raise a commotion and have the
novitiate returned to her cloister, a deer) sepul
chral voice was heard coming from the bowels of
the earth. It said:
" ' I am thy father, and am still in torment.
Marry this couple to each other and my probation
in purgatory will be over.'
" The frightened priest called upon all the saints
to protect him, and proceeded to perform the cere
mony with greater alacrity than he had ever shown
upon similar occasions."
" Do you ever play jokes ? "
"Not often. I am not given to such sport as a
regular tiling, but occasionally amuse myself at
the expense of others. Last year I was traveling
with a musical combination. One day while rid
ing on the cars I threw my voice into a covered
basket, and net up a furious barking like a dog.
The lady beside whom the basket was sitting gave
a scream and bounded out of the seat. Then I
made a cat join in with the row, and a brakesman
came running pell-mell to quiet the disturbance.
He jerked the lid off the basket and found noth
ing but a lot of delicious peaches the lady was
taking home. The crowd was considerably mys
tified. Then I set eflT bumble-bees buzzing about
the brakesman's ears and he retreated. A gen
tleman who was standing near heard a wolf
growling so ferociously behind him that he
jumped about two feet high. Then a lady was
led to believe that a mouse's nest had fonnd lodg
ment in her pocket, and the circus was complete.
But I don't believe nmch in such capers and gen
erally forego the fun I might have if I felt dis
posed." Exchange.
.Carlyle says: "Eternal silence is the duty of a
gnajj."
Jfc .neyer did his duty.
CENSUS-TAKING IN ALABAMA.
Billy C. was appointed enumerator in a district
where the colored class largely predominated, and
relates some of the difficulties attending his la
bors. Having been born and raised in this dis
trict, he was personally known to most of the
negroes, and was fully competent to undertake
the task. However, being a Democrat, he was
looked upon with suspicion by the negroes, many
of whom thought there was some trick in it to
entrap them inte some trouble. Some refused
I outright to answer any questions. lie related
his experience with one, which is a fair example
of many. After explaining to Uncle Harry the
objects, &c, he asked him his name.
" Now Mas Willum, I dunno. What fur, say ?
I tinks I gwine to take ole massa's name, but dey
call me Mos, by de name of my las' massa."
" Where were you born ? "
"InSoufCarlinv."
"How old are you?"
"Now I don't 'zactly members. Ole massa
move to Alabam when I was jis growiu. It war
the yer when dat Jidge B. rimned for some big
offis, and spoke at de Poplar Springs. Your pa
'members it well."
" Then I should say you are about sixty ? "
" I specs dat's about right."
"Did you farm last year? and what did you
raise, and how much?"
"Well, las yer I work for part of de crap, and
there was a mighty bad drouf, and I didn't morne
pay out."
"Have you any agricultural implements?"
"Any what?"
"Tools that you work with to make a crop?"
"O yes, sir. I got a turn plough, an a scouter,
an' two hoes, one wid de helve broke out."
"What are they worth, Uncle Harry?"
" Not much. You see de mule turn roun, and
trod on one of de handles of de turn plough an'
broke it off, an' I dun had it two yer."
"Have you any stock?"
" Well, you see, my mule she lie down an' die
jus' in fodder-pullin5 time, an' I had to rent a mule
dis yer."
"How many cattle?"
" Well, I hev two cows, a heifer, two yerlins an'
a calf."
"Any hogs?"
"De ole 'oman have a shoat up in a pen back
dar."
"Did you make any butter during the last
twelve months, and how much, and what was it
worth?"
"Well, you see, Mas William, las' yer was
mighty hard on cattle. De dun cow is de bes',
but her calf were gettin' ole, and she didn't give
much milk. Sometimes de ole 'oman churn once
a week, and when de heifer had a calf she churn
two times a week ; we eat it all, and didn't hab
half 'nuff, anel it wasn't wnff nuffin, kase we
didn't sell it."
" How much wood did you burn last winter,
and what was it worth?"
"Mas' William, how I gwine to tell? What
dey want to know 'bout such foolishness as dat
fur? When I want wood I go ober de fence an'
cut it. Talk 'bout what it wTorf ! Mas William,
yon can go out dar an' git jus' as much as you
want, an' it shan' cos' you a cent."
JOURNALISTIC NOMENCLATURE,
The names of some of these journals show a
high order of inventive genius. Scorning the
old commonplace titles, the aspiring pen-drivers,
particularly of the West and South, have struck
out on a new line, such as even Dickens never
imagined. Texas, for instance, rejoices in the
possession of a Jimplecute, which is published
i daily, is independent in politics, and is read by
four hundred and ninety subscribers. In addi
tion, it has a Quill and a Tomahawk, a Phono
graph, and an interesting family of Telephones.
Arkansas glories in a Quid Nunc, and is equipped
with a Wlieatstone and an Elevator. Kentucky
has A Woman at Work and a Mountain Scorcher.
Tennessee is edified by a Worker and held fast
by an Anchor. Ohio feels entirely safe in the
hands of a People's Defender. Then it has a
Scion, a Paragraph, and an Eye for office. Illi
nois contributes a Motor, a Pantagragh, a Genius,
and a Lens. Michigan has a Hawk, a Form, a
Pioneer, Magnet, and a Crusader. Sleepy Eye,
in Minnesota, is kept from somnolence by a
Wide-Awake. The people of Storm Lake, Iowa, are
fortunate in the possession of a Pilot. A Chrono
type, a Sickle, a Spike, a Torch of Liberty, and
an Outlook make Wisconsin happy, free, and en
lightened ; while an Exodus, a Gem, a Hay, an
Optic, a Wide-Awake, a Headlight, a Fair Play,
and a Cosmos instruct and edify Missouri. Kan
sas keeps a sharp eye all round through a Tele
scope; a Solid Muldoon is a character in Colorado;
California finds, it is to be hoped, both pleasure
and profit in her Daily Town Talk. Arizona
reads her Epitaph with commendable regularity
in the town of Tombstone. Esthetic Massachu
setts has her Psyche ; New York a Cataract, a
Sybil, Rough Notes, a Breeze, a Fraternal Censor,
Apples of Gold, and an Arm Chair near the
Cricket on the Hearth. A Watch Tower, a
Widow's Guide, and A Voice from the Old Brew
ery make up the list of her journalistic jewels.
Sunshine and a Star of Hope make their appear
ance in Pennsylvania, and a Voice of the Angels
is heard in Massachusetts. New Jersey protects
herself with a Hornet and rejoices in a Belvidere
Apollo. North Carolina is enamored of a Sweet
Sixteen, opens a daily Nut-Shell, and contents
herself with a Brief Mention. Philadelphia Times.
THE WORST OF IT.
The story is told of a canny Scot who, having
recently lost his wife, was receiving the commis
erations of a friend. " You have had a great trial,
I Mr. Campbell." "Yes, sir, yon may well say
I that," was the reply. And then, pausing, with a
j shake of the head : " Not only was it a great trial,
but let me tell you, a matter of cerra considerable
I expense
,55
"My brethem," said a western minister, " the
preaching of the gospel to some people is like
pouring water over a sponge it soaks in and
stays. To others it is like wind blowing through
a chicken coop. My experience of this congrega
tion is that it contains more chicken coops than
sponges."
PRESIDENT MADISON'S HOME.
The estate of Montpelier, the home of Presi
dent Madison, which was sold not long since to
Colonel Carriugton for 20,000, has an eventful
history of its own. In the days of President Mad
ison it was much larger than at present, being
valued very early in the century at nearly $20,
000. Since that time it has been somewhat
lopped of its fair proportions, but it still contains
1,067 acres, of which 400 acres are valuable wal
nut and other wood lands. When President
Madison died the estate fell to his widow, for
merly Mrs. Payne Todd. Her son, John Pay no
Todd, who died in Washington not long since in
great poverty, was given to dissipation, and man
aged, through the over-indulgence of his mother,
to involve the estate to the extent of $19,000.
She struggled bravely to keep the estate, but was
finally compelled to sell it to Mr. Henry Moncure,
of Eichmond, in 1842, receiving $15,000 for it.
Mr. Moncure held the property for three or four
years and then sold it to the Thornton brothers,
two Englishmen, wTho were supposed to be im
mensely wealthy. The Thorntons spent money
profusely in improvements, and made the place
the show of the neighborhood. Some time in
1855 the Bank of England sued them for $400,000
(on what grounds is now forgotten), and they,
being deeply in debt, sold Montpelier to Thomas
J. Carson, of Baltimore, Md., for $37,'500. Just
before the war Carson, who was an outspoken
sympathizer with the South, deeded the prop
erty to his brother Frank in order to preserve it
in any event, without receiving, it is said, any
equivalent. Whether he or his heirs claimed it
after the war or not there is no means of ascer
taining, but certain it is that the estate remained
in the hands of Frank Carson up to his death in
1879. Incidentally it may be mentioned that
prior to Carson's time the estate was held for
short periods by McFarland & Haxall, of Eich
mond, (who indorsed for the Thorntons), and by
Alfred V. Scott, of Georgetown, who paid $35,000
for it, and occupied the old mansion for three
years. The last owner, Frank Carson, was eccen
tric and somewhat improvident, and for years
before his death allowed the property to run to
seed, cultivating only such acreage as would sup
ply his wants. He was an old bachelor and lived
simply, not to say abstemiously. He managed,
however, to reduce the mortgages on the estate,
which seemed to have been assumed by each
holder in turn, from $19,000 to $13,000. Finally
he died intestate and the holders of the deed of
gift and the heirs-at-law, of whom there are seven,
demanded a settlement of the estate. It is a
question whether the heirs-at-law may not con
test the validity of the sale on the ground that
the price it brought was far from its actual value.
Colonel Carrington was asked by the World cor
respondent whether he intended to convert Mont
pelier into a summer resort, and replied that he
did not. He intends to use it as a summer resi
dence and probably as a stud farm.
ABOUT ALASKA.
The area of the possessions purchased by the
United States and denominated simply as Alaska
is equal to that of nearly one-half of the Republic
itself, of which fact the casual reader is probably
not aware. The islands of St. Paul and St George,
part of a group lying some two hundred miles
west of the main land, in their present state exceed
in value, as demonstrated by money returns, all
the remainder of the possessions. Strange as it
may appear, those two lonely islands in the Pacific
Ocean are about the only known places for seals
to appear in great numbers, and while the sta
tistics show that 140,000 are caught yearly in
the entire world 100,000 alone come from these
islands. The Government paid for Alaska origi
nally $7,201,000, and with this years catch the
Government will have received $0,300,000 in
rental from these islands alone. The islands
have been leased for a term of years to a corpo
ration known as the Alaska Commercial Com
pany, which pays an annual rental of $55,000, in
addition to a tax of $2.62', on each skin taken,
and are restricted to the capture of 100,000 seals
yearly. The Walrus and Otter, belonging to
the same group, are distant seven or eight miles
from St. Paul Island, and are inhabited by
natives known as Aleuts, as are also the "seal
islands." The St. Paul and St. George Islands are
forty miles apart, and communication between
the two is very much restricted. No vessels
save those of the Government and those of the
Alaska Commercial Company are allowed Lo
land, even should they so desire, and as a land
ing can only be effected at certain seasons of
the year those native to the soil, or stationed
there for even a brief season, are literally cut off
from the world and its tidings.
A PAT ANSWER.
An officer of the Union army relates that upon
one occasion after a charge on the enemy's works,
a fierce encounter and a fall back for reinforce
ments, a bright young Irish soldier was found to
have a rebel flag captured from the foe. Ap
proaching him he said : "I'll send that to the rear
as one of our trophies ; give me the flag." "Sure,
I'll not give it ye," said Pat ; " if ye are wanting
one, there's plinty av'em behind that ridge over
beyant where I got this ; sure ye can go and get
one for yerself. Boston Commercial Bulletin.
JOINED, NOT MATED.
A blind girl in Charlotte, N. C, is to be mar
ried to a deaf mute. This looks like an unso
ciable combination. The wife will be unable to
see anything to tell her husband about, and the
husband will be unable to tell his wife about
anything he sees or reads.
THE SCOLD.
The instant that I ope my eyes,
Adieu all day to silence;
Before my neighbors they can rise,
They hear my tongue a mile hence.
When at the board I take my bent
"Pis one continued riot ;
1 eat and scold, and'scold and eai ;
My clack is never quiet.
t .
But when to bed I go at night
I Hurely fall a-weeping ;
For then I loe my great delight
How can I scold when bleeping ?
But this my pain doth mitigate,
And hoon disperses sorrow,
Altho' to-night it Imj too late
I'll pay it oii' to-morrow.
PATENTS I
GEORGE E. LEMON
WASHINGTON, D. C,
Attorney -at-Law and Solicitor of
United States and Foreign
PATENT
I&tublinhetl in 180.7.
CAN 1 OBTAIN A PATENT?
Heud a rough sketch or (if you can) a model of your
invention to fiKoitoi; 12. Li:mo.v, Washington, D. C,
and a I'ukmminahv Examination will be made of all
United States Patents of the name class of inventions,
and you will be advised whether or not a patent am be
obtained.
For this Preliminary Examination No Charge is Made
WHAT WILL A PATENT COST?
If you are advised that your invention is patentable,
send 20, to pay Government application fee of S15, and
S3 for the drawings required by the Government. This
amount is payable when the application is made. This
is all of the expense, unless a patent is allowed. When
allowed the attorney's fee (25) and the final Government
fee ($20) is payable.
By these terms you Kaw beforehand, for nothing,
"whether you are going to get a patent or not, and no
attorney's fee is charged unless you do get a patent.
An attorney whose fee depends on his success in obtain
ing the patent will not advise you that your invention
is patentable, unless it really is patentable, so far as his
best judgment can aid in determining the question;
hence, you can rely on the advice given after a prelimi
nary examination is had.
DESIGN PATENTS and the REGISTRATION OF
LABELS and TRADE-MARKS secured.
CAVEATS prepared and filed.
Applications for the REISSUE OF PATENTS care
fully and skillfully prepared and promptly prosecuted.
Applications in revivor of rejected, abandoned, or for
feited cases made. Very often valuable inventions are
saved in these classes of cases.
If you have undertaken to secure your own patent
and failed, a skillful handling of the case may lead to
success. Send me a written request addressed to the
Commissioner of Patents that he recognize George E.
Lemon, of Washington, D. C, as your attorney in the
case, giving the title of the invention and about the date
of filing your application. An examination will be made
of the case, and you will be informed whether or not a
patent can be obtained. This examination and report
will cost you nothing.
Interference Contests arising within the Patent
Office between two or more rival claimants to the same
subject-matter of invention, attended to.
AppEAii Remedies pursued in relief from adverse
office decisions.
Searches made for title to inventions.
Copies of Patents furnished at the regular Govern
ment rates, (25 cents each, if subsequent to 1866. Pre
vious patents, not printed, at cost of making copies.)
Copies of Official. Records furnished.
Opinions rendered as to scope, validity, and infringe
ment of Patents.
In fact, any information relating to Patents and to
property rights in inventions promptly furnished on the
most reasonable terms.
Correspondence solicited.
Remember this office has been in successful operation
since 1865, and you therefore reap the benefits of experi
ence. Reference given to actual clients in almost every coun
ty in the United States.
Address, with stamp for replv,
GEORGE E. LEMON,
WASHTNGTON, D. C.
FREE TO EVERYBODY !
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Answers to Correspondents.
"We nre obliged to answer certain inqniries of the same
nature in each issue of our paper. "While we cheerfully
furnish information to subscribers in this column, we
suggest that much labor, time, and expense may be saved
both to ourselves and to our correspondents, if the latter
and other subscribers would keep a file of the paper.
They could then, at any time, turn to the file and proba
bly find the very inquiry answered about which they
would have written to us. "We trust that each and every
subscriber will profit by this suggestion.
E. McG., Jajjesvillk, Wip The delay in your
claim is probably owing to the number of cases
ahead of it in the Pension Office. It must take its
regular tune.
O. B. R, Patkrsox, X. J. If totally disabled, so
that you require the aid of another person, you are
entitled to an increase of pension, providing such
added disability is a result of your military service.
.T. C. P., Stanton, Mich. Discharge for promo
tion forteits bounty, and as you were not a volun
teer officer March V,, 1865, no three months extra
pay is due.
W. K. S., Bacixb, Wis. Section 1G92, Eevieed
Statutes, gives pension to contract surgeons disabled
in the service of the United States, and Section 4702
gives title to widow or any person entitled under the
previous section, who has died since March 4, 1S61;
therefore, widows of contract surgeons are entitled
to $17 per month, if husband's death was result of"
military service.
The present post-office addresses of the following
named persons are desired by subscribers to The
Natioxai. Tri bunk. Any one able to give informa
tion touching their whereabouts will confer a favor
by corresponding witlrus.
1. Dr. Merrill, in charge of Ward 07, Oirver Hos
pital, July and August, 1804.
2. Any member of Co. B, Thirty-ninth N. J. Vols.,
who know Sergeant James McKim.
3. J. C. Mann, Second Wisconsin Cavalry, Captain and
A. Q. M., aud name and address of Surgeons in Tay
lor House Hospital, Winchester, Virginia, Decem
ber, 1864, to February, 1865.
4. Sergeant Webber, Charles Porter, or any other
officer or member of provost guard, first division,
Fifth Corps, Army of the Potomac, in 1862.
5. Captain Frederick A. Stoddard, or Lieutenant
Hallock, of Company A, or Captain Shipman, Com
pany F, One hundred and thirty-seventh New
York Volunteers.
6. Captain 'James Day, Lieutenant Hemstreet, Ser
geant Isaac Thompson. Charles Loveland, Robert
Ferris, or any other member of Company G, One
hundred and seventy ninth New York Volunteers,
who were at the battle of the Crater. Petersburg,
Virginia, July 30, 1864.
7. The name and address of somo officer or soldier
who was in hospital at Bedloes Island, New York
Harbor, in 1863, 64 and '65.
8. The addresses of Lieut. H. H. Lohnnif, or Sergt
John Haynes, or any of the men of Company I,
Twelfth Ohio Vol. Cavalry, or Company G, Forty
sixth Ohio Infantry.
9. Names and addresses of any of the officers or men
of Company G, Second. Wiuconsin Cavalry.
10. The wife or children of Joseph Newton, Co. D,
Eighty-first Pennsylvania Volunteers, who was
killed at Gettysburg.
11. Dr. Cooper, who was Post Surgeon at Clarksville,
Tennessee, in the winter of 1864-5; also Dr.
Newel, Begimental Surgeon of the Forty-second.
Missouri Volunteers.
y" Remaining answers next week.
IRELAND'S
CHART OF THE REBELLION,
Size, eight square feet. Colored. Portraits of Grant and
Sherman. Contains over two thousand evente of the
war, from beginning to close, including military and na
val expeditions, battles, raids, skirmishes, losses &c.,
with date and place. Of special interest to ex-soldiers..
Gives more information in ten minutes than ordinary his
tory in as many hours. Single copy, by mail, 45 cts
Three copies, S1.00. Agents wanted.
Addre&s J. P. Ireland, Dexter, Penobscot Co., Maine.
Von Laer Perfect Binders
For Periodical, Pamphlets, Music, etc. No holes
punched. No needles used. Papers removed and re
placed any number of times without the slightest muti
lation or interference with the balance of the file. Has
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