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THE NATIONAL TBB3XJNE: WASHINGTON, XX C, MAT" 13, 1882.
came used to the racket. Hut the poor fel
lows in the hospitals in the rear were fre
quently caught in tho range of these guns,
and numbers were killed while unable- to
protect themselves in their tents. Tho night
scenes during the siego were interesting and
exciting. The fleet with all the mortar boats
which were anchored in position above and
below the city would open the ball at dark
and continue throwing the huge shells into
the hapless city at all hours of the night
The firing and exploding of these tremendous
missiles was terrific, but tho sight of their
flight through the air with a fiery fuse like a
comet's tail was grand, and we would salute
the rebels with the words, "Lookout. John,
a fire-bug is coming." It was a dread of tho
mortar shells that drove the inhabitants to
the side hills, and the caves in which they
lived, dug in the form of the letter Y, saved
a great many lives that would have been
otherwise sacrificed. Picket or other firing
along the lines during the night seldom oc
curred, and wc had a great deal of sport
chatting with the Johnnies, opening trades
of bacon for mule and rat meat, and inviting
them over to breakfast, which invitations
were frequently accepted, as desertions dur
ing the night were common occurrences. To
sleep with all the noise and uproar soon be
came almost mechanical, and unless it has
been experienced a reader would doubt that
a man could sleep soundly all night within
ten yards of a six-gun battery firing at in
tervals of five or ten minutes and not be
A FORAGING CHAPLAIN,
Tho Twelfth Wisconsin regiment was ren
dczvouzed at Camp Eandall in 16G1. Its colonel,
says the Madison Telegraph, was George E.
Bryant, a captain in tho First regiment, and
who has the record of being tho first volunteer
officer from Wisconsin. Our chaplain was Rev.
Moran, a Unitarian minister, who sickened in
1562, and was mustered out, came homo to
Wisconsin and died ; ho was a good man. Tho
fifer of company A was Walker, a theological
student, an Englishman who had great afTection
for his stomach, and but a small gift for fifing.
When Chaplain Moran resigned, tho regiment,
having become acquainted with Fifer Walker's
good qualities as a forager, and, knowing ho
was a Methodist class leader, with one accord
petitioned tho colonel to have Walker made
chaplain. The colonel said in reply that
Walker was not an ordained minister, but if
they insisted on his being tho spiritual adviser
of the regiment ho would get him furloughcd,
sent home, and fixed up by tho brethren; for
no ono but a "thorough-bred" could preach to
that regiment. Thereupon Walker went to'
Wisconsin, had holy hands laid upon him,
and came back commissioned by Governor Salo
man as chaplain. He was a good ono. He not
only foraged for himself, but liberally for tho
sick and wounded, and no chicken with seces
sion proclivities could roost so high that tho
chaplain could not reach it for a sick comrade;
and the way ho had of finding onions, sweet
potatoes, new milk, etc., was known only to tho
elect. Walker loved his colonel and his regi
ment, although it was not noted as a God
fearing regiment; but ho stuck to them,
preached to them, prayed for them, foraged for
them, and though ho did not make them all his
way of thinking, in a religious sense, they all
believed ho was a Christian, a patriot, and a
soldier, and to-day, wherever ho may be, thoy
wish h.iu God-speed. But to tho story. In
.! 1BG1, Lieutenant Thayer, of company
. lortally wounded "before Atlauta and
jack to tho hospital! ' The chaplain was
'i make his will, which done, Walker,
Vihn minister should; h'dtlidught lutn-
hc spiritual needs of the dying man.
vic-codi-d, as ministers do, to pray and
exhmt, .; d waxing warm and tender in tho
pivsiM.tk ditli ud.:is ministers will, excited,
inyi"g -md ixliorling loud and long. The
curgty f the regiment, with more lovo for his
dying comrade than he had fear for his God,
lcgaii to get mad as tho chaplain continued at
what he considered unreasonable length of time
in his exhortations. Finally ho could stand it
no longer, and laying hold of the chaplain,
brought him to a stop and ordered him out of
the hospital, saying: "This is no place to wear
out a dying man, but if you want to convert
the regiment you had better go out into tho
trenches." Tho chaplain, seeing and appre
ciating that he had been over zealous, meekly
pnt on his hat and started through tho woods
for his command. After he had gone a little
way the surgeon began to repent and to feel
that he had been too summary and too hasty
with tho man of God, and following him, called
him back and said : " Chaplain, I told you you
had played the fool, that you had better bo
praying in tho trenches; I said it, I still stick
to it, but I just want to add that tho colonel
would bead d good man for you to commence
on." Thereupon the chaplain came to his colo
nel in tho front of battle, told tho whole story
as it occurred, and then said: "Colonel, with
your permission, I'll see if I can fsrago a few
sanitary stores, in tho shape of vegetables" for
the doctor's hospital for that man does try
awful hard to care for tho sick and wounded ;
but I do wish you and ho would not swear
when you get mad, notwithstanding 'tis said
George Washington did tho same wicked thing
while in tho army."
There is an interest in old trees which seems
to be a never-failing topic of discussion. The
oldest treo or tho biggest treo in any country is
sure to have a reputation hardly equalled by
any other local curiosity. Old people, too, lovo
to talk of theso familiar topics, and their
children after them repeat with pleasure tho
quoer old stories and ideas about "tho old
trees" which still livo, whilo every ono .elso
grows old and drops away forgotten. Herd-is
a practical argument to tho young and of the
present generation to plant trees for all futurity.
They may fall from tho ranks of life at any
time, but tho trees they planted bear their
names on for years with many a precious
memory. And of all old trees none are so
frought with reminiscences as old fruit trees.
Every ono who plants a fruit treo is a bene
factor, and long after tho planter has gone to his
last rest and been forgotten some one, grateful
for the fxnipwiucjho enjoys, will ask, "Who
planted thafi old treo?" This is well expressed
What plant we in this npplc-trco?
Swecta for a hundred flowery eprinjrs,
To load the May wind's rebtless wings,
When, from the orchard row, he pours
Its fragrance through our open doors.
What plant we in this apple-tree?
Fruits that shall swell in sunny June,
And redden in the August noon,
And drop, when gentle airs come by,
That fan the blue September sky;
While children come, with cries of glee,
And seek them where the fragrant grass
Betrays their bed to those who pass,
At the foot of the old ajmle-tree.
And after ages have elapsed, and when the
hundreds who have enjoyed its fruits have
turned to dust
The children of some distant day
Thus to some aged man shall hay,
Who planted this old applc-trcct
A soldier's life resembles a cigar. Ho passes
through tho firo and smoko to find his hopes iu
nshes, and wliat is left of him a mere stump.
N. Y. Com. Advertiser.
THE DEAD SOLDIER.
IIATTIE SI. LELASD.
Tenderly, Foldicr! handle with care
Pass your hand lovingly over his hair;
Hair that his mother's hand often hath pressed.
Curls that his sister hath often caressed
Tenderly lay him in that narrow bed ;
Carefully pillow his curly brown head.
Tenderly, soldier 1 sco you the smile
Death from tho ruby lip could not lcguilc?
Hushed to him now is the battle's wild storm,
In its last sloop lies his beautiful form;
Bravely he fell for his country that day,
Fell for the Union in battle array J
Tenderly, soldier! for O, look you here!
Sec this pale check, unblessed by a tear !
This is his mother her only son '
From her poor widowhood, Freedom hath won;
This is the sister so tenderly loved
Who can see mourning liko this, all unmoved I
Tenderly lay him there 'neath tho broad bluo.
Night shall weep over him in drops of dew,
Turn ye, O, soldier, with arm stronger yet.
For the dark battle that you must meet yet
Death to the traitors, who'd make right of might J
God for tho Union, and God for tho Hight!
Ambitious rebels, who seek only pow'r,
Ilavo they forgotten the reckoning hour?
Widows and orphan, and treasure and blood.
Shall they not answer for this wasting flood?
Speed, speed the day that shall end this sad fight I
Peace for tho Union our God for the ltight!
PRESIDENT ARTHUR AT THE WHITE
A correspondent writing from Washing
ton gives an interesting sketch of President
Arthur and social life at tho White House.
In General Arthur wo have a now type of
man in tho White House. There have been
Presidents of all kinds. "We have had
stately Virginia gentlemen of the old school,
and self-made men from the West. We have
had soldiers of several varieties the rough
and honest and despotic soldier; the quiet
and obstinate and sometimes wrong-headed
soldier, and the simple and docile soldier.
We have had rural statesmen who were born
to country seats and died upon them, after
bestowing solemn political autobiographies
upon an inattentive country. "We have had
one or two Presidents who grew up amid the
healthful poverty of the frontier, which as
Mr. Blaine aptly said in his memorial ora
tion "is, indeed, no poverty, but the begin
ning of wealth," and who in all their upward
progress through the world never wore off
their simplicity. But the "city man," the
metropolitan gentleman, the member of
clubs the type that is represented by the
well-bred and well-dressed New Yorker
the quiet man who wears a scarf and pin in
it, and prefers a sack coat to the long-tailed
frock coat that pervades politics, and a Derby
hat to the slouch, that seems to be regarded
in various quarters of this Union as some
thing no statesman should be without. This
is a novel species of President. Like the
type which he represents, President Arthur
has no eccentricities in dress. He is quiet
and irreproachable, from his gaiters to his
watchgnard, and would only need to be sit
ting in the reading room of a New York club
to pass at any time for a successful banker
or lawyer of rather more than usual dignity
of demeanor. It is not to be inferred that
there is any "lack of tho Presidential air
about the present incumbent. On tho con
trary, he C ' " "R visit
ors to fort c ' t
affable, b nw
and, while -- :,$, .. ' ;
his manner - r.t:7' -
tion which ;
in a Chief Magistrate, would be liKoiy to
The manner of life at the White House is
-what might be expected under the circum
stances. It is probably more in accordance
with metropolitan ideas than has been the
case with some recent administrations. Tho
entertainments arc elaborate and elegant.
The dinners so some say who have survived
dinners with a series of administrations
were never so good; and not only diplomats,
but other people, receive the full allowance
of wine and the entire variety prescribed by
sociarlaw. There is, perhaps, a little more
etiquette in getting at tho President, but
only a little. President Arthur has let down
some of the social bars around his office.
Formerly the President accepted invitations
to dinner only from members of his Cabinet,
the Speaker of the House, and the Judges of
the Supreme Court. President Arthur has
widened the circle so as to take in Senators
also ; and as there are a good many Senators,
and many of them entertain handsomely, and
as all Washington has been given up the
past winter to a "grand chain" of dinners,
the result has been that tho President has
figured in society to an unusual extent. It
goes without saying that he is popular there.
Naturally all Presidents are popular in Wash
ington, but General Arthur seems to bo es
pecially so. He is voted to be the handsomest
President within the memory of this gene
ration, and there is no limit to the praises of
his appearance, his bearing, and his social
qualities, which are heard on all sides. Like
all fine-looking men, he is probably awaro of
his good looks. That is his'' right, which,
unlike some good-looking men, ho does not
abuse by showing that he iH conscious of the
fact. But if ho ever indulges in the demor
alizing habit of cynicism, and the office
seeker ever ceases from troubling, and he
gets a free moment when he can retire within
himself and draw the bolt, as it were, I won
der whether he wonders why it is that .he is
so much handsomer now than he was 'when
he was Vice-President.
GREAT SALE OF THOROUGHBREDS.
Two thousand people attended tho sale of
thoroughbred yearling colts and fillies at
General Harding's breeding establishment,
Bellemeade, near Nashville. Among the
visitors wore United States Senators Bayard,
Gorman, and Jackson; Hon. George B.
Loring, United States Commissioner of Agri
culture; General Beale, U. S. A.; Colonel
Clarke, president of the Louisville Jockey
Club ; George Lorillard, Dwyer Bros., Charles
Reed and S. S. D Bruce, of New York; Swi
gcrt, Young, Broadhead, and other turfmen
of Kentucky. Thirty-seven colts and fillies
by Enquirer and Great Tom realized an ag
gregate of 23,355. The Enquirer colta sold
as follows : Emigrant, 525, to Louis Dune
man, of South Carolina; Empire, 175, to
Milton Young, of Kentucky; Emperor,
1,500, to Pierre Lorillard, of New York ;
Endymion, 1,100, to M. Young; Eldorado,
$2,400, to Dwyer Bros., of New York; Ex
celsior, 750, to George Lorillard, of Now
York; Embargo, 100, to M. Young; Emu
lation, 800, to Louis Duneman; Envoy,
400, to M. Young. The colts of Great Tom
sold as follows : Thackeray, 1,025, to George
Lorillard; Terrifler, 550, to Dwyer Bros.;
Tally Ho, 625, to Charles Reed, Saratoga;
Tombigbee, 475, to James M. Galloway, of
New York; Treasurer, ?1,2QP, to George
Lorillard. The Enquirer fillies brought tho
following prices : Emblem, $530, to L. Broad
head, for A. J. Alexander, of Kentucky;
Ergot, H00, to George W. Darden, of Nash
ville; Evangeline, $175, to George W. Dar
den; Empress, P00, to M. Young; Equi
poise, 575, to S. D. Bruce, of New York;
Eclat, .Q50, to S. D. Bruce; Economy, 2S0,
to S. D. Bruce; Eulogy, 273, to Van L. Kirk
man, of Nashville; Ecstacy, 6230, to A. C.
Franklin, of Galatin, Tenn.; Encore, $300,
toS. D.Bruce; Etiquette, 300, to John J.
Carter, of Nashville ; Exotic, 200, to Tan
L. Kirkman ; Enigma, 135, to Van L.
Kirkman. The Great Tom fillies brought
the following prices : Talma, $1,050, to Geo.
Lorillard; Tuscarora; 775, to Charles'Eeed;
Tarantula, 350, to W. H. Johnson, for P.
Lorillard ; Trumpet, 305, to M. Young ;
Tattoo, 310, to M. Young; Tollapoo, 210,
to Wr. II. Johnson, for P. Lorillard ; Trophy,
110, to M. Young; Tidy, 325, to George
Lorillard ; Tamboriu, 200, to E. II. cDoug
.lass, of Nashville. ,,
A CHINESE FUNERAL, t
The funeral of Yet Ki Youen, a Chinese
merchant aud high muck-a-muck in the so
cial circles of Chinatown, took place with all
tho ceremonies which those of Mr. Y.ouen's
nation pay to their dead. A tent was erected
in Chinatown, and iu it was placed the open
coffin so that all those who wished might
take a last look at the dead merchant's fea
tures. Around the coffin were tables covered
with candies, cakes, and baked meats, which
were watched with longing eyes by tho
youngsters who congregated near tho en
trance to tho lent. About eleven o'clock the
coffin was placed in a hearse, and, followed
by several carry-alls containing Chinamen,
was taken to Oak Hill Cemetery, where the
burial took place. Enough refreshments
were left at the grave to ward off the hunger
of Yet's ghost for several days. San Jose
STRANGE FREAK OF A BRIDE.
A very peculiar proceeding was related to
me to-night, affecting a gallant officer of the
army, brother of a lieutenant at Fort Meade,
and one out of which an interesting ro
mance might be woven. I do not care to
give the gentleman' .name, but will state
that he is a nephew of a prominent Union
general of the rebellion period and ex-member
of Congress. A j'ear or so ago he be
came enamored with a handsome and accom
plished Eastern lady, woed and won her.
Their honeymoon was all that loving hearts
could make it, and their future gave prom
ise of great and continuous happiness. The
lady was blessed with more than ordinary
musical talent, but uncultivated, and to per
fect the divine art she was sent abroad by
her husband. She visited the various con
servatories of the continent and finally
located in Paris for two years' instruction.
While there she was reported as being very
sick, and soon after tho terrible announce
ment of her death reached the Lieutenant?
by cable. He at once directed that the re
mains be embalmed and returned to Amer
ica for burial, which order was complied
with ; but as the grief-stricken husband was
unable to go East, he requested a friend irr
beautiful cemetery overlooking the harbor
of New York, where tho remains we're ex-;
humed, the casket opened and found to con
tain the decaying body of a man. An in
vestigation was at once instituted and re
sulted in establishing the faot that the wife
had eloped with her music teacher, first
causing a report of her siclcness and death
to be sent to her far-away home, and in
corroboration of it had secured a corpse
from the morgue, which was sent as her
own, with the result above stated. Paris
MARRYING A BEAUTIFUL ARMENIAN,
The editor of tho Bombay Herald made a
trip through Asiatic Turkey and wrote a
very readable and instructive book about
what he heard and saw. In it ho described
the Armenian women as tho perfection of
female beauty, grace, loveliness, and virtue.
He declared that they combined everything
that was excellent in female person and
character to bo found in all parts of the
world. A rich money-lender residing in
Constantinople, Bekian by name, resolved to
marry one of the women who had been
lauded so highly in the volume he had been
reading. He sought the society of Armenian
people, and soon found a girl of the race that
exactly suited his fancy. She was as beau
tiful as imagination could picture. Her
name was not pretty it was Margaretta
Amassin but he did not care for that, as he
resolved to change it as soon as he could get
permission. Aud as her father had no in
come except that derived from an office that
paid a small salary and afforded no stealing,
this was easy to do. Madam was soon an
excellent housekeeper, and showed great
love for literary work. In looking over her
writings ono day to find some pleasant read
ing to admire he discovered a letter ready
for the post. It was addressed to her very
dear cousin, whom sho desired to kill Mr.
Bekian, that they might obtain his property
and livo together in happiness. Soon after
ho received a letter purporting to be signed
by five refugees, which demanded that ho,
carry 1,000 on a given day and deposit it at
a certain place in a forest. Failure to com
ply with tho modest request was death. Mr.
Bekian did not go out with the money., His
loving wife, however, left the house and did
not return. The matter was reported to tho
authorities, who, caring nothing for senti
ment or true love, condemned the two "cous
ins to a long term of hard labor. Mr. Bekian
does not read any more books of travel. He
regards them as unreliable as novels.
THE FORTUNES OF A CIRCUS GIRL.
Lizzie Marccllus, the circus-rider who was
lost with Slowo's show on tho burned Missis
sippi steamer Golden City, wont oil" with Dan
Rice when only six years of ago. Dan's circus
passed through a rural town near Schenectady,
and Lizzie rodo ashort distance with tho clown
in his buggy. Sho was a remarkably pretty
and bright child, and on leaving her at hor
parents' door ho gave tho family tickets for
that evening's performance. Sho was infatu
ated with tho circus and begged to bo taken
along. Dan and his wifo offered to adopt her,
and tho parents gave hor up. Sho was soon
put into training for horseback riding, at which
sho became expert. At tho timo of her death,
at tho ago of twenty-two, sho owned most of
tho horses in tho Stowe establishment, sixjedscsu
of wild animals, and 5,000 worth of dxcssosV
STORIES THAT CARRY NO MORALS.
"No," exclaimed young Harry, when
tempted to take a bright half-dollar from
the till of his employer, "no, it is not mine,
and I will touch it not. And, pray what
good would it do me ? It would buy but a
few bunches of cigarettes, which would soon
be smoked up, and then where is the half
dollar? No, I will withstand this tempta
tion and beg my cigarettes from Fred. I
will make no haste to acquire wealth. I
will have patience." So Harry turned his
back on tho half-dollar. By patience and
careful doctoring of his employer's accounts
he was in a few short years enabled to leave
for Europe with 50,000 in his pocket.
Theodore was a poor lad. One day, when
he was very hungry, he espied a five-cent
piece on the floor of the broker's office which
he was sweeping out. ne had remembered
stories wherein little boys had picked up a
small piece of money, handed it to the great
merchant or rich banker, and been immedi
ately taken into partnership. So Theodore
stepped up to the door of the broker's private
room and said : " Please sir, here is a five-cent
piece I found on your floor." The broker
looked at Theodore a moment and then said,
" You found that on my floor, did you ? And
you are hungry, aren't you? " Yes, sir," re
plied Theodore. " Well, give it me, and get
out. I was looking around for a partner;
but a boy who don't know enough to buy
bread when ho is starving to death would
made but a sorry broker. No, boy, I can't
take you into tho firm." And Theodore
never became a great broker. Honesty is
the best policy, children, but it is not indis
jiensable to success in the brokerage business.
THE UMBRELLA RACKET.
A Hartford, Conn., man was denouncing
newspaper advertising to a crowd of lis
teners. "Last week," said he, "I had an umbrella
stolen from the vestibule of the church. It
was a gift, and valuing it very highly I spent
double its worth in advertising, but I have
not recovered it."
"How did you word the advertisement?"
asked a merchant.
"Here it is," said the man, producing a
slip cut from' a newspaper.
Tho merchant look it and read:
"Lost, from the vestibule of the
Church, last Sunday evening, a black silk
umbrella. The gentleman who took it will
be handsomely rewarded by leaving it at
No. San Fernando street."
"Now," said the merchant, "I am a liberal
advertiser, and have always found it paid me
well. A great deal depends upon the man
ner in which an advertisement is put. Let
us try for your umbrella again, and if you
do not then acknowledge that advertising
pays I will purchase you a new one."
The merchant then took a slip of paper
from his pocket and wrote:
" If tho man who was seen to take an um
brella from the vestibule of the Church
last Sunday does not wish to get into trou
ble and have a stain cast upon his Christian
character, which ho values so highly, he will
return it at once to San Fernando street. He
is well known."
,r . r.t --ran' v'uor
fn .ir- J-:, b i "., ' "
. MJ W.
. -v Him um
brellas. Many of them had notes attached
to them saying that they had been taken by
mistake, and .begging the loser to keep the
little affair quiet. Louisville Commercial.
THE LATEST NOVELTY IN GARTERS.
The fashion for wearing jeweled garters
has spread so rapidly that jewelers all keep
the article in stock. They are very expen
sive. A member of a conspicuous firm ex
plains : " Tho rago is recent, but none the
less strong, and it promises to spread indefi
nitely, as the rago is as unlimited as the
purse. All tho prominent society women
and many who are not in society wear them.
You see, women constitutionally delight in
pretty things, and the adornment is of moro
interest and enjoyment to them than any
thing else. If you will come down stairs I'll
show you the stock."
Thero was a show case full of them, each
pair mounted in a velvet box. The pattern
was the same in all as far as the band was
concerned. The baud was full an inch wide,
made of fine elastic, and covered with beau
tiful woven silk of every conceivable shape,
pale blues and warm reds predominating.
They are designed tp match the tint of the
dress worn with them. In one case two
heart-shaped clasps of colored gold, inlaid
with cross-bars of torquois and pearls,
joined the ends of a scarlet band with little
frills of silk along tho edges. The price was
100. A pair vith two oval clasps of ham
mered gold, perhaps an inch in length, could
be bought for 48, while the cheapest pair,
with plain gold clasps, was 46.
"It's a enrious fact," said tho jeweler, "that
the cheap ones won't sell. "When a customer
wants an elegant garter he I mean she is
willing to pay for it.
A pair that costs 225 had two shields with
three big pearls in each, and little diamonds
at tho edges. Another pair was expensive
through its delicate lace, which was arranged
in a fluffy bow-knot with two little gold
disks clasping in tho centre.
At another establishment the jeweler said :
"The majority of them aro n ade to order.
Your visit is opportune, as I have just fin
ished tho most expensive pair that ever left
my factory. The price is 1,200." In this
tho lace and pearl-colored silk band Avas
joined by an elaborate clasp. On one side was
the lady's monogram in pearls ; on the other
tho coat-of-arms, with frosted stork's heads, a
crest of delicately carved gold, and a motto
set in chip diamonds. It was a present from
a mother to her daughter, who is to be mar
"Has tho demand for such garters in
creased?" "It is a hundred per cent, greater than
last year, and grows constantly." New York
COLONEL M'CLURE ON KISSING.
It isn't often that a girl is kissed too much
and less frequently does a boy suffer from too
much of that sort of thing. It is so different
from washing and ironing and cooking and
sweeping down tho stairs that girls havo been
known to seek kissing rathor than thoso things
and often much to tho neglect of them. It has
nover been supposed that any great danger
lurked in kissing, oven though a great deal of
it bo done, and if it has fatigued tho very ardent
for sometimes tho very best things will fa
tiguo one it has usually been a fatiguo which
all were willing to accept. Phila. Times,
NEARLY KISSED TO DEATH.
Osculation is unquestionably a pleasing
pursuit. It has been recognized as such
from time immemorial, by generations un
numbered of lovers, poets, and even philoso
phers. There are, doubtless, at tho present
moment, in this as in other countries, many
enamored swains who ask no better than to
be permitted to imprint "ten thousand
kisses," one after another, upon tho lips of
the damsels on whom they have bestowed
their affections. They may, however, es
teem themselves fortunate if their oppor
tunities in this direction are somewhat
limited, as the following true story will
At an evening party in Kelkheim, a few
week ago,the conversation happened to turn
upon kissing, and the question arose how
many salutations of this class could be
exchanged between two ardent lovers within
a certain space of time. As usual, opinions
differed, and the discussion waxed warm.
Presentlya fiery youth offered to bet any
body present; the German equivalent of a
ten-pound note that he and his betrothed
would kiss one another 10,000 times within
ten hours, provided they were permitted to
partake of some slight refreshment at
intervals of half an hour during the perfor
mance. His wagers having been accepted
and the money posted, the affianced couple
addressed themselves to the achievement of
their congenial task.
At the expiration of the first hour their
account stood credited with two thousand
kisses. During the second they added
another thousand, and during the third
seven hundred and fifty to that number.
Then, pitiful to state, they both broke down.
The youth's lips were stricken with cramp,
and the maiden fainted away. Later on ia
the evening sho was compelled to take to
her bed with a sharp attack of neuralgia.
An even more distressing result ensued from
this surfeit of tender endearment, for it led
to the breaking off, by mutual consent, of a
hopeful matrimonial engagement Young
lovers should keep this sad tale in mind and
moderate their transports, for strange as it
may seem, Dan Cupid himself may be
kissed to death. London Telegraph.
HOW FIBRED BANK NOTE PAPER IS
The fibred bank note paper on which our
legal tenders, national bank note currency,
and Government bonds aro printed, is made
at Dalton, Mass., in an old mill, whose ex
istence dates back to colonial times. If you
should happen this way sometime, and
should stop at the old paper mill, with
proper credentials, you may, perhaps, be
allowed to handle a sheet of the crisp fibre
paper, or take a peep at tho pulp press,
where, as the wet grayish pulp is pressed be
tween heavy iron cylinders, bits of bine and
red silk thread are scattered over its face, and
silken ribs laid on its surface. You may go
beyond into the counting room, where each
sheet, as it comes from the drying room, is
carefully examined and counted, and then
returned to the paper cutter to be divided
into smaller sheets. If you trace this paper
still further, you will find that from the cut
ter's hands it passes again to the counting
room, is separated into little packages con-
tinnoi -?a Trn nT-inrl on1 rninrrlfll na mtu.
JJUJJCI. JO Y4H,UVC1. HUU. lXlU.Ulb tMJ l!
though each sheet was an ounce of gold. Its
manufacture is one of the greatest -secrets
connected with the Governjnentr'sfgiraoney.
From tho vaults of the paper mill at Dalton.
to the guarded storerooms of the Treasury at
Washington is but a journey of two or three
days. In the capacious vaults of the Treas
ury building, among gold and silver and
copper and nickel coins, bullion, paper cur
rency, and official records, you will find
thousands of packages of the bank-note
paper that is manufactured at Dalton. It
comes in little iron safes, such as are used
by the Adams Express Company, and each
package and every sheet is carefully counted
before the manufacturer and express com
pany are relieved of further responsibility.
The paper that arrives to-day may lie in the
Treasury storerooms for years, or it may be
sent to the Bureau of Engraving and Print
ing to-morrow, to return, in the course of a
month's time, a legal tender or bank note.
. - ..--
SAVED BY A SONG-BOOK,
At tho battle of Peach Orchard, when
McClellanwas making his change of base, '
a Michigan infantryman fell to the ground
as if shot dead, and was left lying in a heap
as the regiment changed position. The ball
which hit him first struck the barrel of his
gun, glanced and struck a button off his
coat, tore tho watch out of his vest pocket,
and struck the man over the heart, and was
stopped there by a song-book in his breast
pocket. Ho was unconcious for three-quar-ters
of an hour, and it was a full month
before the black and blue spot disappeared.
HE WAS SLIGHTLY PARALYZED
"I wish, if you aro going down by tho
market to-day," said Mrs. Timblethorpo to
her liego lord and master, " that you would
bring home some fresh horse-radish." "Yes,
my love," said Timblethorpo, demurely,
though he hated above all things to carry a
package, even of tho smallest dimensions.
When Timblethorpe reached the horse-cars
it occurred to Timothy that he had not asked
the sharer of his joys and troubles how much
of the tear-compelling vegetable sho re
quired ; it might bo an ounce, or it might bo
ten pounds, for aught ho know to the con
trary, for ho was only familiar with tho root
in its gratedcondition in a glass jar. "How
ever," he thought, "I'll do the best I can :ind
get enough anyway." Just as ho was start
ing for homo in the afternoon, he remem
bered his wife's request, and rushed to tho
nearest vegetable stall in the market in hot
haste. "How much is horse-radish?" ho
asked, breathlessly. "Fifteen cents a ponnd,"
replied tho attendant. "I'll take five
pounds," said Timblethorpe, as ho threw a
dollar bill upon tho counter. The market
man looked somewhat surprised, but pro
ceeded to weigh out the required amount of
garden stuff. Timblethorpe watched him,
and wondered when ho would get through,
but finally received a package as largo as he
could carry conveniently, and heard, as he
departed, the remark, "Guess that man
keeps a hotel." When Timblethorpo de
posited his prize at the feet, metaphorically
speaking, of tho ladypf his love, sho screamed :
"Goodness gracious, what havo you there,
Timothy?" "Horse-radish," he answered
laconically. "Are you going to live on it
for the next year?" queried tho ladjr,earcaa-
tically. "Yes," was tho snappish response;
" it's good for the circulation, and I'm slightly
HE WAS WAITED FOR.
A Chicago man, who lives on the top flat,
came wandering home and found he had
forgotten his night-key. Howling through
the tube to his flat he demanded, in what he
assumed to be a disguised tone: "Is Mrs.
"Yes," she replied.
"Is Mr. Jones there?" asked the hnsband.
"It isn't time for him yet," replied Mrs.
Jones. "He doesn't generally come homo
"The devil he don't!" muttered Jones.
"I say," ho continued aloud, "can't I come
up and wait for him?"
".Not to-night; some other night. There's
some one here now who has been waiting for
him since dark!"
"Great Scott!" muttered Jones, glancing
at his watch, "and it is now four o'clock.
-Look-iheTre! I don't care anything about
Jones;-1 "Grant to see the man who is wait
ing!" "That's just the way I feel about it," re
plied Mrs. Jones, sweetly. " Now go away
like a good man, and don't disturb me!"
Then Jones began to hammer on the door
and howl, until ono of the neighbors came
down and hauled him in by the collar.
"Where's that man?" he demanded of his
wife. " Where's that man who was waiting
"What man?" asked Mrs. Jones, rubbing
her eyes and looking up innocently. "I said
there was some one waiting for you, and it's
me, and if yon think I'm not enough, you
want to stand around there just a few min
utes longer by the watch !"
And Jones blessed God that it was not so
and rent his garments from his system, and
landed himself into bed, saying: "The wise
man hath a froward tongue, but Joneseth
goes no more into the walking-match with
out his night-key."
GEN. TORBERT'S WAY,
Torbert, of cavalry fame, who was lost at
sea last year with the ill-fated Vera Cruz,
was a good fighter and a hard worker.
While having a kindly heart for the trooper
who was always ready for the "boots and
saddles," he hated a shirk, and had his own
way of meeting the complaints urged by
shirkers to get rid of duty. Just before
breaking camp, in tho spring of 1SG5, the
General attended a sick-call to see the state
of health in his command. One after
another of the boys came in for prescriptions,
and by and by a strapping big trooper, who
was a notorious shirk, entered the tent with
his hands on his stomach. Torbert took
him all in at a glance, and then thundered
" What are you here for? "
" Sick," was the faint response.
"WThat ails you?"
"Snake in the stomach."
" How long has it been there ? "
"Surgeon," said the General, as he turneS
to the officer, "call in two men, cut this
man open and remove the snake. Wears
going to break rjimn in fan ;i-
WIT AND HUMOR.
Scene in the auditorium of a theatre:
Actor (who has appeared in the first piece)
"Good evening! May I take the seat next
you?" Lady "Certainly; but dont you
appear any more to-night? " Actor "No."
Lady "Oh, 1 am so glad! Pray sit right,
down." Boston Advertiser.
'l I understand that Brown is in trouble,"
said Smithson. "Yes," replied Fogg. "Brown
was at the auction shop the other day. They
had a silver pitcher, and Brown offered to
take it offered to take it for nothing, you
know. Well, the sheriff took him up. That's
" Scene at an evening party. The hostess :
" Can I introduce you to any of the young
ladies, Mr. T. ? " Mr. T. : " Oh ! no. I think
I am acquainted with all I wish." Host
ess : "Do you know my daughter? " Mr. T.
(much embarrassed): "A-h, no; should be
delighted." Boston Transcript.
" How profoundly still and beautiful is the
night," she whispered, resting her finely
veined temple against his coat collar, and fix
ing her dreamy eyes on the far off Pleiades,
" how soothing, how restful." " Yes," he re
plied, toying with the golden aureola of her
hair, " and -what a night to shoot cats ! "
" What harm has the lad done you ? " asked
an old gentleman, roughly collaring a boy
who was warming the jacket of another ur
chin with a bit of wild grape vine. "He
ain't done mo no harm." "What are yon
thrashing him for then ? " " 'Cause his father
and mother never licks him, and I'm a doin'
it for charity."
The fashion of giving balls at public places
has its advantages, but it ought to make one
careful. At the Kensington Vestry Hall,
lately, a young dandy accosted a gentleman
who was standing near the doorway, " I think ,
I havo met you before several times a."
"Probably, sir," ho replied; "I'm Gunter's
head waiter." Lond on Truth.
"Well, my little man, aren't you barefoot
rather early this season?" said a benevolent
gentleman to a New Haven youngster this j
morning. "Guess not. Wuz born barefoot, ,
I wuz." "I declare, so you was; so you was
What a pity ; what a pity. Well, Nature is
unkind to the poor, really," and he-gave the
youngster a dime to atone for the neglect of
the "mother of us aXVNettttaVcWliegister.
A crocodile stold'aTtobVoncWthe days
when animals could 'talaml -wasjabout to
make a dinner of it. Tho poor mother beg
ged piteously for her child. " Tell me one
truth," said tho crocodile, "and you shall
have your baby again." The grief-stricken
mother thought for a moment and then said,
between her sobs: "I shall buy a new bon
net next spring." "Take the baby," said
the alligator, clubbing himself as he spoke,
" I am not fly enough for you." Chicago
For four months, dating from the first,
the modest and retiring oyster wiUenjoya
vacation, secure in the knowledge that
stews, broils and fries have been temporarily
dispensed with. If ho is safe from the
dredger, however, tho scientist will pounce
down upon him with learned treaties on
his origin, lift) and habits, call him a
marine acephalous mollusk, and do a hun
dred other things calculated to disturb his
equanimity and well-earned repose. BalU