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THE KATIOKAX, TBUBUNEs WASHINGTON, D. C, MAY 13, 188
THE BRAVE AT HOME.
T. BUCIIAXAX HEAD.
TIic maUl who binds her warrior's sasli,
Wth smile thut well her pain dissembles
The while beneath her drooping lash
One fclarry teardrop hangs and trembles,
Though Heaven alone records the tear,
jnd J'amef-hall never know her story,
Hor heart has shed a drop as dear
As ever dewed the licit! of glory.
The wife who girds her husband's sword,
3fil little ones who weep or wonder,
And bravely &pcn!c the cheering word,
"What though her heart be rent asunder
Doomed nightly in her dreams to hear
The lwlts of war around him rattle,
Hath shed as sabred blood as e'er
Was poured upon the plain of battle!
The mother who conceals her grief,
"While to her breast her son she yiravcs,
Then Vrcathcs a few brave words and brief,
Kfcsingllu patriot brow she blesses,
Willi no one but her secret God
To know the pain that weighs upon her,
Sheds holy blood as e'er the tod
Received on Ficedom's Held of -honor!
WIDOW APPLEDORE'S BOMARCE
"A man that thinks of nothing but
pep'mint oil an' the price of wheat! No!
Emma Jane; my life has been humdrum
enough without my ending it with Deacon
Bliss. I shan't have him !"
"Well, well, Roselta, if you won't I don't
know's airyboily'sgoin'ter try an' make you,"
chirped plump, rosy Mrs. Phlox, looking up
from the stout blue woolen sock she was
knitting. " I s'pose the Deacon thought he'd
a right to ask you, seem' it's a. free country.
Caleb Applcdoro was a awful nice man, but
so's the Deacon. Lone wimnien are put on.
Job Whiltamore neglects your gardiug, au'
just see what work you have with your fires
winters an' keepin' roads broke out."
"I'm not going to marry jnst to have some
one tend the garden and do the chores," said
Mrs. Appledore. "I've never found fault
with them that's dead and gone, but I know
what it is to live with a person who docs not
care two pins for the things I do, and if I
ever do marry again it will be some one who
can sympathize with me. I can't say I
swallow all 'Lias Bradshaw says about the
inarryin' of souls and affinities, but there's
some truth in it you may depend. Besides,
I'd like a little romance in my life before 1
"Eo-niance is all well 'nnff," said Mra.
Phlox; but you're 39 next March, Eosetta,
an' sech a man as Deacon Bliss don't grow
on every bush. Bein' a good provider, an'
a splendid farmer, an' a deacon, an a piller
in the church may not be romantic, but
they're good recommendations in a man
you're thinkin' of inarryin'. I hope you'll
"I have thought, and shan't marry the
Deacon," said Mrs. Appledore, decisively;
"an' if that's being romantic, I'm not ashamed
The little widow did not look romantic.
Her complexion was a dull white and her
hair was a dull brown. Dull, too, were her
large gray eye3 that blinked behind short
sighted glasses, but her form, though meagre
and devoid of curve, was not without grace,
and she had a clear, sweet soprano voice,
which, though it was untrained, she. could j
use with taste and feeling. The Harmonicum,
the Dixvi lie musical association, made her the j
hx'.'ul of a'l their committees, and relied upon j
bin- u- m i: A the solo3. Indeed, without
hi-r ; - i not have existed. The wheezy
n:'-;"!' :i ich was a dozen years old before
iiuot.it. jii-j property of the society, had J
atlt' .ii.ijricd under the energetic fingers
of Pic. zts:iv Jaclcson Jones, who did the ac
companying, and they were trying to buy a
piano. They had given concerts, and had
oyster suppers till Dixville was tired, when
Dr. Oilapod suggested a lecture. It was
whispered that the Doctor had expected the
committee to invite him to read one of his
papers on the Semitic tongues; but if ho did
he was disappointed. They corresponded
with many i)opular lecturers, who all de
clined to visit Dixville on the plea of engage
ments, and the committee at last invited a
certain Professor St. Clair Smith, about
whom they knew nothing, save that he had
lectured in the neighboring villages with
acceptance, to address them. The Professor
had suddenly appeared in Dixville mounted
on a fine gray horse. The next day he was
seen to enter the post-office with a green bag
on his arm, and the gossips immediately re
ported that he was wealthy and had come
from Boston. He at once accepted the invi
tation of the Harmonicum committee, and
announced that his lecture would be on the
"Philosophy of Art." The meeting-house
was hired, and Mrs. Appledore with a select
few began practicing some music for the
It was the afternoon before the lecturej
and Mrs. Appledore had invited her sister to
spend the day with her. Domestic duties
seemed to be just what Mrs. Phlox was
made for. Her husband and her sister
usually did all her thinking. In return she
served them with her hands ; but the few
notions that did creep into her round head
she clung to pertinaciously.
" The worst kind of a fool is a beetle
headed one," she said, after a long pause,
"an' putting this and that together, Eosetta.
I think you're preparin' with your romancin'
to be just that kind of a one."
"I don't see how sisters can be so unlike,"
and Mrs. Appledore drummed a harsh ac
companiment to her words on the middle C
of her piano. "To be sure, you are the
oldest; but age need not make one's soul a
"It would be well for you to remember
that all theadvantages are not on your side,'
cried'Mrs. Phlox, rising with dignity. " There
are bodies, yes, and dispositions, that are
clods," and JMrs. Phlox jerked on her calash
and went home.
The meeting-house was full, and the next
day the Dixville Times declared the lecture
to have been a most soulful and eloquent
dissertation, but Mrs. Appledore's attention
wandered, aud she only knew that the enter
tainment was about to be concluded by Dr.
Ollapod's sonorous call for " moosic."
"1 am delighted," said Professor St. Clair
Smith, bowing low before her as soon as pos
sible after the "moosic." "I never heard
such a delicious voice."
Mrs. Appledore coughed behind her hand
to conceal her flattered embarrassment, and
turned a questioning look to Professor Jack
son Jones, who stood near.
"You always sing splendid," said that
gentleman, drawing himself up. "I dare
say I put you out. That fluto otytfgato is a
duced hard thing to do. I didn't do myself
" You've always dragged," said Karl Leo
pold, who took every opportunity to criticise
the Harmonicum doings.
Professor Jackson Jones pulled fit bis
cravat, and Mrs. Appledore's face wis full
"I never heard anything finer in Boston,'
said Professor St. Clair Smith, coining to the
rescue, " and I suppose you know what that
The night after the lecture was a very
stormy one, and Mrs. Appledore was slowly
twisting her hair in crimp-pins, when the
door-bell rang. "I could not endure the
loneliness of the hotel, dear Mrs. Appledore,'1
said Professor St. Clair Smith, making a
courtly bow, "and have come to beg for just
The Professor was, so far as outline and
coloring go, a handsome man. His head was
what is commonly called dome-shaped. 1 1 is
wavy hair aud silky beard were a bright
yellow red, and his rather large eyes were
blue. He sat down in the big rocking-chair,
and taking a twin on each knee, "I renew
my youth in children," ho cried, giving them
a squeeze. "Do you know the song, 'The
old times wero tho best times when you aud
1 were young ? ' "
"Oh, yes,' said the widow, nervously turn
ing over her music," " but I can't say that I
feel so very old."'
"Dear me, what a blunderer I am," cried
the Professor. " I was thinking of my boy
hood. I've always haled being grown up
A man has so much to fetter his imagination.
You must have lost your husband in the first
flush of your youth ? "
"I did," murmured the widow, forgetting
that she was 33 when the event ocenrred."
" The twins were babes."
Song succeeded song till the Professor pro
posed duet3, and Mrs. Appledore enjoyed the
music so much that it was midnight before
she knew it.
Two mouths passed away. The Professor
canio almost every evening. He had hired a
small house a little out of town, that he
might be undisturbed, he explained, and a
relative had come to keep house for him.
He did not know how long he should remain
in Dixville. He was preparing a book for
publication and writing several new lectures.
"When his literary labors were over he was
going to take a trip somewhore and rest,
though friends of his, influential at Wash
ington, were anxious for him to accept a
consulship at an important point.
The widow's neat white cottage stood by
itself on the confines of the village. Deacon
Bliss' fields of dark green peppermint and
nodding wheat stretching along the country
road for nearly a mile joined the garden.
Before her abrupt refusal of him, the Deacon
had been accustomed to drop in for a little
visit or to bring a neighborly offering of ap
ples or fresh vegetables. But these calls had
ceased, and cut off from all her sources of
news and pleasure, Mrs. Appledore stayed
closely at home, practiced her music and
entertained the Professor.
But one sunshiny afternoon Mrs. Phlox
came bustling up the prim graveled walk.
" Eosetta Appledore," she chirped, like an
angry blue-jay, as she opened the door,
"though a clod, which there are folks that
think different, I've come to ask you if you
know you're the town talk ? "
"Tho town talk?" ejehoed herastojished
sister. ' '" ' ' s ,
"Yes; the town talk," repeated Mrs. Phlox,
with wonderful emphasis1 "'A'nybody would
be who had spent two blessed months phi
landerin' with a married man."
""Who is married ? "
J" Your Professor Smith."
.'I don't believe it."
"I sposed you wouldn't, but I've seen his
wife," said Mrs. Phlox with evident satisfac
tion. "Miss Merrills, sho 'twas Pearly Ann
Truesdale, wouldn't miss a fiudin' out any
thing if she had to walk ten miles, an' she
called on her, an' told me. That night I sez
to John, 'John,' sez I, 'a sister's a sister,
'specially if she's younger an' a widder, an'
if I be a clod I'm goin' to the bottom of this ; '
'an,' sez he, 'Emma Jane, I think you'd
better,' an' the first thing he did the next
inornin' was to hitch up an' take me over on
the mile-strip where that fellow lives, in
Tony Allerton's cottage. lie wan't in, but
she was, an' she was washin'.
"'I'm Miss Phlox,' sez I, 'an' I come to
call.' 'Thank you,' sez she, 'I'm Miss Smith,'
an' she set out the only chair there was in
the room for me, an' set down herself on the
"Air you Miss St. Clair Smith, the wife of
the Professor,' sez I.
"A sort of smile twinkled over her mouth
an' she sez. 'Yes, Miss St. Clair Smith,
though I didn't know Mr. Smith had adopted
the St. Clair name. That's my family name.'
An' then she went on an' spoke of her lms
hand, an' of how ambitious he is, an' how he
feels his spear is public life, an' how she is
willin' to do anything to help him. An'
then she inquired if I thought she could get
sewin' in Dixville when she feels a little
better an' is able to do it."
Tears of shame and anger gathered in Mrs.
Appledore's eyes as her sister spoke. "Is
Mrs. Smith good looking? Is she an inter
esting woman?" sho asked.
" I can't say how interesting she is. She
seemed kind of trod on, so to speak. As for
looks, she ain't any prettier'n you'd be if you
worked hard an' din't have half enough to
eat," said Mrs. Phlox calmly.
Mrs. Appledore sobbed aloud. " What do
people say about me? What shall I do?"
"They don't say nothin' yet, on'y that
you're dreadful foolish," chirped her sister,
rising and putting on her calash, for it was
almost supper time. " I can't say as I know
of any thing for you to do except to tell Mr.
Smith to stay t'homc. 'Taint likely that
Deacon Bliss will give you a chance to say
yes a second time."
There had been a good deal of pleasurable
excitement in receiving the visits of the Pro
fessor. To dress herself in her best mourning
and to sing her favorite songs to an appreci
ative listener, had been something to look
forward to during the humdrum work of the
day. The thought, however, of what her ac
quaintances were saying about her embitter
ed her life, and when the Professor again
called one glance at her face told him that
she knew all.
"Dear Mrs. Appledore, he began, but she
" You had better go homo to your wife,
Mr. Smith," she said coldly.
Tears, real tears, came into the Professor's
big blue eyes. " But I love you," he cried,
" and she has always been an incubus upon
" But she's your wife," persisted Mrs. Ap
pledore. "I know it," moaned the Professor rubbing
his brow distractedly. "It eats out my vit
als when 1 tliink of it. She don't feel as I
feel. There's no wings for me as long as I
am tied to her. We've no affinity."
Mrs. Appledore gazed at him in dull won
der. These were almost the words she had
used to her sister, but they did not sound
" I love you, Eosetta," went on the little
man approaching her; "and I want to ask
you just one question : Were I a single man
would you marry me?"
"J might," admitted the widow, smooth
a fold in her overskirt with a
"Enough!" and tho Professor flung his
arms about her and pressed a rapturous kiss
upon her forehead. "Bless, you, my darling!"
and before she could answer him he was gone.
The next evening when Mrs. Appledore
was taking down her washing from the line
she was suddenly clasped from behind by a
pair of strong arms. "You will soon be
mine," said the voice of the Professor. I've
offered my wifo $50 to leave me and she has
"Accepted ! " the widow cried, wrenching
"Yes, and as soon as I can sell my book
she shall go. I've lived in soul isolation long
enough. My heart has found its mate."
All the men that Mrs. Appledore knew
were quaint of speech and somewhat nistic
in manner, but what they considered duty
controlled their lives. "You wretch!" she
cried, dashing the clothes-pin basket at him.
"Fifty dollars! You ain't worth fifty cents.
Co home aud never dare to speak to me
"Hear me," he pleaded, catching hold of
" I can't stay out here and listen to phi
landerin' talk," she answered resolutely, and
twitching her dress from his grasp she entered
the house. But the Professor's hand was,
upon tho latch. Like most little women,
the widow was a curious mixture of timidity
and courage. She flung the door open.
''Don't you dare to come in!" she cried.
"I'll throw hot water on you! I'll I'll kill
you ! " Then, slamming the door in his face,
sho bolted it securely.
All the evening the Professor paced up!
and down Mrs. Appledore's back veranda.!
The next evening he again appeared, and
the next, and the widow, thoroughly alarmed,
sent the bravest twin out the front way with
a note to her brother-in-law.
Mr. Phlox delighted in anything that could
be called proceedings, and in a few minutes
he had the deputy sheriff and two constables
and went marching down the principal street
wiih them to the great delight of all the
small boys of the village. It was impossible
for the Professor to escape. The officers
crept round the house noiselessly. The
sheriff collared him, the constable pinioned
his arms, Mr. Phlox grabbed him by the
coat-tails, and away he was walked to the
Mrs. Applcdoro passed a sleepless night;
she imagined tho whole town was wide,
awake and discussing her, and long before'
daybreak she had resolved to sell her home
and Dixville Bank stock and move west.
I've got my comeupanco," she groaned.'
"I've always been romantic .and wanted a
romanco such as I've read about, an' I've had
one. Oh, dear! oh, dear!" " '" . fJ.VT
About 8 o'clock in the morning there camfe-
a lively rap at tne luicnen uoor. and, nn-
strung by excitement and loss of sleep, she
"On'y me; on'y Deacon Bliss," cried ra,
pleasant voice through the keyhole. -
Mrs. Appledore slid back the bolt wi,th
trembling fingers. "How thankful I amy'
she said, holding out her hand ; " I feel so .in
need of somebody."
" 'Twas fortinet I come along jes' as I did
then," said the Deacon, taking oil' his straw
hat and slowly nibbing his face with his
ainplo bandana It was a shrewd though
benevolent face, framed in waves of iron
gray hair. " I see ye look kinder peaked.
The weather has been try in'. I've felt it
myself an' ached in my jints the wust way."
"It's my soul, Deacon," wailed the widow,
dropping into a chair and covering her face
with her apron. "I've always hankered after
a romance an' I've had one, and I wish I was
dead and laid beside Caleb."
"Oh, no yo don't, Miss Appledore," said
tho Deacon, in the caressing tone in which
he would address a sobbing child. "This
world's a pooty good place, an' with a few
exceptions folks are pooty good. I come
over to fetch a few of my swectins' aud to
tell ye that there offer I made ye a spell ago
holds good yet. I rally wish ye'd consider
Mrs. Appledore remained silent behind
"Ef ye'd hev me," repeated the Deacon in
a low voice. "I know I ain't half good 'nuff
and thet I'm kind uv an old fellow, but I've
got a comf 'able place an' comf 'able things in
it, and I've been sot on ye this long spell, as
ye knows. I dare say I was 'taohed to Lucy
more'n I shall ever be to anybody agin. We
sort uv growed together like, but so did you
and Caleb, an' I'm sure I'll try to make ye
happy, and yer two little gals, as sweet as
two pinks, '11 be to me jes' like the little gals
Mrs. Appledore did not remove her aprou,
aud after a pause tho Deacon falteringly
" I s'pose 'taint no use ter argy. Folks
hez their own idecs of such things, but any
ways I'll stand yer friend." ,
The widow rubbed her eyes and slowly let
fall her apron.
" I've always had the greatest esteem for
you," she said, with a little shake in her
voice, " but I never knew how good how
much I think of you. I will I"
The Deacon started up. " Will ye ? "
Mrs. Applcdoro had taken refuge in
"Will ye really, Eosetta?" he repeated.
Tho bowed head covered in the blue ging
"Ye sha'n't regret it," said tho Deacon sol
emnly, and awkwardly laying his big hand,
coarsened by labor, on her shoulder. "Lord
bless the little woman an' our home. Our
home," he spoke softly as if to himself.
" P'raps, now," ho continued after a min
ute, "I'd better drop in an' see him, an' in
tellin' the news 1 might mention, casual like,
we're going to bo married soon. An' that no
body '11 trouble anybody that stays t'hum, an'
that I'm able to help an eddicated man to a
good place, real neigh borly, 'cause my brother
Eben out in Kansas wants a cleric."
Mrs. Appledore said nothing, but the Dea
con seemed satisfied with her silence, fori he
did just as ho had proposed. Prof. St. (3JLd
Smith was discharged from jail, andsiml
three days ho and his pale little wife-olljida
left Tony Allerton's cottage on tho ,'mHe
strip to return no more.
In about a fortnight Dr. Oilapod attended
a quiet wedding.
" You've had a ro-mauee at last, Eosetta.
I might belter say two of 'em," whispered
Mrs. Phlox as she gave tho bride a sisterly
kiss. "The adoration of the Professor was
like things in a novel book, but marry in' a
man whoso goodness an' farm can't be par
alleled in the county is a romance that has
sense in it, an' I wish you joy!"
THE QUEEN'S HOUSEHOLD.
The clerk of the kitchen has a salary of
700 a year aud his board, and to aid him in
his work he ha3 four clerks, who keep all
the accounts, check weights and measures,
and issue orders to the tradespeople ; he has
also a messenger and a " necessary woman."
Besides these officials of her Majesty's
kitchen, there is the chef, with a salary of
700 a year, and four master cooks at about
350 per annum each who have the privi
lege of taking four apprentices at premiums
of 150 to 200 each two yeomen of tho
kitchen, two assistant cooks, two roasting
cooks, four scourers, three kitchen-maids, a
storekeeper, two "green office" men, and
two steam apparatus men. And in the con
fectionery department there are a first and a
second yeoman, with salaries of 300 and
250, respectively ; an apprentice, three fe
male assistants, and an errand man ; and, in
addition to these, there are also a pastry
cook and two female assistants, a baker and
his assistant, and three coffee-room women.
The ewer department, which has charge of
all the linen, consists of a yeoman and two
female assistants only. The gentleman of
the wine and beer cellars or, properly speak
ing, her Majesty's chief butler has a salary
of 500 a year. He has to select and pur
chase winc3 for the royal establishment, to
superintend the decanting, and send them
to the table. Next to him are the principal
table deckers, with 200 a year each; the
second table decker, with 150 : the third,
with 90; and an assistant, with 52 their
duties being to superintend the laying out
of the Queen's table before dinner is served.
The plate pantry is under the care bf three
yeomen with salaries of 1G0, 150, and
120, respectively, besides lodging money
and board and a groom, with six assistants.
These offices arc of great trust aud not over
paid, seeing that, at a rough guess, the gold
and silver plate at Windsor Castle alone is
probably worth about 3,000,000, and in
cludes some very precious specimens of work
manship. The getting in of her Majesty's
coal must bo an important and arduous task,
as no fewer than thirteen persons are em
ployed all the year around on this duty
alone. Ch a mbers's Jo urnal.
A PHENOMENAL FIDDLE,
Harry P. Cain, a violinist of some note,
has recently come into possession of a rare
treasure. It is nothing less than a violin
'made of wood that grew beforo the flood.
Some forty years ago workmen, engaged in
digging a mill-race through the farm owned
by Daniel Bulla, discovered at a depth of
six or eight feet beneath the surface the
trunk of a tree in a good state of preserva
tion. It was lying across the line of tho
race, and they had to cut out a piece of it
'scvdrali feet' long before they could go on
with their work. Local geologists say that
the wood is many thousand years old.
rRee'ently the wood was taken to A. B.
Clark, who was engaged in repairing a
Cremona that was cajitured in the siege of
Mexico. Clarlc was delighted. It was the
very thing. He made models of tho old
Cremona, and in the course of three months
had given tho finishing touches to the new
violin. Tho belly was of the old ante-dilu-vian
wood and the back and neck of wavy
.maple, cut in Pennsylvania fifty years ago
aud rafted down the Ohio to Cincinnati,
aud carried on to Dayton for an old cabinet
maker, who was never able to use it. The
figure of the old instrument was followed
exactly, and when the new one was finished
it was an exact fac-simile of thoso built by
When the bow was drawn across it the
two connoisseurs went into ecstacies of de
light. Tho glue w:is barely set and the
varnish was still green, but when they
played tho room was filled with the richest,
sweetest melody. There was an absence of
tho thick, raw quality that marks a new
violin. The notes came up sharp and clear,
and when tho lower strings were set vibrat
ing they gave out rich, mellow music that
reminded them of tho violins of Amati and
Guarncrius. Richmond (Ind.) Palladium.
WHITTIER ON THE FOREST TREES.
The following letter from Mr. John G.
Whittier, addressed to Mr. John G. Peaslee
and read at the recent forestry convention in
Cincinnati, indicates his interest in tho sub
ject of forestry:
" I thank thee for the invitation to attend
tho meeting of tho forestry convention in
the city of Cincinnati. For many years I
have felt a deep interest in the conservation
of our forests and tho planting of trees.
The wealth, beauty, fertility and healthf ill
ness of the country largely depend upon it.
My indignation is yearly aroused by the
needless sacrifice of some noble oak or elm,
and especially of tho white pine, the grand
est tiee in our woods, which I would
not exchange for Oriental palms. My
, thanks will be due to the public school
, which is to plant a group of trees in my
honor. 1 could ask no better memorial. I
have always admired the good lasto of the
Sakokis Indians around Sebago Lake, who,
when their chief died, dug around a beech
tree, swaying it down, and placed his body
in the rent, and then let tho noble tree fall
back into its original places a green and
'beautiful monument for the son of the forest.
It would give me great pleasure to attend
tho convention, but my health is not equal
to such an effort."
BEGGING AS A FINE ART.
For more than twelve years an elderly
woman named Margaret Bethel had been a
pensioner on tho charity of St. Mark's Pro
testant Episcopal Church in Philadelphia,
whore sho was a constant attendant, and
showed all the outward semblance of great
piety and extreme povort'. Sho did not
confine herself to levying contributions upon
that congregation alone, for it is now discov
ered that she pretended to be Catholic, Meth
odist, Presbyterian, and anything else, so as
to draw money, food, and clothing constantly
from people and churches of every faith.
She, with her hifaband, whom sho repre
sented as an invalid, and her daughter as
imbecile, lived niggardly, and appeared but
olittlo removed from starvation. Tho bus-
aband died a year ago under Catholic intlu-
f:ences, and Mrs.
was attended by a
Methodist minister when aho died last Feb
ruary. By her death the daughter came into
possession of a large sum of money in ca3h,
and books of deposit for many thousands of
dollars in various bauks and trnst associa
tions. It now transpires that for many
years, probably twenty, the old woman, her
husband, aud the daughter have been prac
ticing the most systematic deception upon
charitable people of almost every religious
denomination. Each worked in a different
way and everything went to the common
It now turns out that the mother, while
begging alms, built a marble vault, costing
?500, in Woodlands Cemetery, in which she
placed her husband's body, and the daughter,
in turn, gave the mother a $200 casket and a
splendid funeral. The number of families
and churches and clergymen and institu
tions who havo been victimized during these
years by " good old Margaret," as she was
called by many, are said to extend into the
hundreds, and it is asserted further that she
extcned her operations to other cities. Since
the mother's death Louisa, the daughter,
who is really very sharp-witted and full of
resources, although eccentric, has picked up
a girl named Mary O'Neill as her attendant,
and never goes out except in a carriage. She
thinks herself an " heiress," has added an 1
to her name, and refuses to speak to tho
neighbors, with whom, up to the time of her
mother's death, sho had occasional inter
course. For several weeks past the heiress and her
attendant have been spending money lavish
ly, dining at the Continental, driving in the
park, visiting the most fashionable stores,
buying the most elegant articles, occupying
front seats at the theatres, and ordering ex
pensive suites of furniture, Avhile the room
they occupied was bare of a carpet. The
heiress is, however, looking for a house in a
TALKING ALL HANDS ASLEEP.
Judge Jeremiah Black is universally ac
knowledged to be the most prosy man that
over argued a case before a bench ; but while
he was arguing the McGarrahan case before
the Supreme Court in Washington some
years ago, the bench got even with him.
One day, while speaking on some motion,
Black discovered at the close of a two
hours' oration that the entire bench, includ
ing the Chief Justice, was sound asleep
Much incensed, ho gathered up the papers
and left the room. Meeting the Chief Jus
tice at a dinner at the Secretary of State's
that evening Black angrily commented on
"Why, my dear Judge," said Mr. Chase,
with a surprised expression, "I thought you
would be the last man on earth to object to
such a thing. The fact was that all the
justices were so fatigued from the President's
reception last night that this morning we
consulted together to hear you on some
motion or other, so that we all could enjoy
a good, square nap." We supposed that you
had been on the bench for so long that
you'd know how it was yourself."
"The devil you did!" said Black.
" Yes ; but you needn't alarm yourself, my
dear Black. The shorthand reporter made a
full memorandum of your remarks."
" Did, eh ?, snapped the Judge. " Why he
was asleep, too!'"'
"You don't teU me!" exclaimed the Chief
Justice, much vexed. I always did dis
trust that fellow. In that case my dear
Judge, wo will have to rely on the janitor."
"HAMLET" IN STREET CLOTHES.
Maze Edwards, manager for Edwin Booth,
thus describes their appearance at Water
bury, Conn., last winter, when the troupe
played without their costumes: "When I
found the baggage, with the costumes, had
not arrived I was just going to throw my
self into the river, when I thought I would
go and tell Mr. Booth about it and bid
good-bye to some of the people who had
always thought a good deal of me, before
killing myself. To my astonishment, Mr.
Booth took it as cool as you would take
an invitation to drink. He said, inasmuch
as the people were in the hall, he would
make a few remarks to them about the
accident, and then they would go on and
play three acts of "Hamlet" in the clothes
they had on. And so it was fixed up that Avay.
Well, the thonght of Hamlet in ashort-tailed
coat and tight pants almost made me sick,
and when Mr. Booth came on the stage
looking like an Episcopal minister, with a
Knight Templar's cheese-knife that he had
borrowed, I couldn't think of anything but
Hamlet. I forgot all about his clothes, and
I believe if he had only had on a pair of
sailor pants aud a red-flannel fireman's
shirt that the people would only have seen
Hamlet. I tell you he is the greatest actor
that ever lived. The people sat perfectly
still, and seemed wrapt up in Booth. That is,
they were when they did not look at the other
fellows. But when they took in Laertes,
with a short ham-fat coat on, a pair of lade-dab
pants, and a pancake hat, it seemed
to mo I could hear them smile. Aud the
king, Hamlet's step-father, he was a sight.
Imagine a king with a cut-away checkered
coat, a Pullman car blanket thrown over his
shoulder for a robe, and a leg of a chair for
a sceptre, mashed on a queen with a traveling-dress
and a gray woolen basque, with
buttons on it. Aud think of Polonius with
a linen duster and a straw hat with a blue
ribbon on. Oh, it made me tired. Ophelia
was all right enough. She had on some
crazy clothes that she had been travelling
in, and we got some straw out of a barn and
some artificial flowers off the bonuets, and
she pulled through pretty well. But the
ghost. You would have died to see the
ghost. He had on one of those long hand-me-down
ulster overcoats with a bucklo in
the back as big as a curry-comb, and the belt
was hanging down on both sides. The boys
got him a green mosquito bar to put over it
and, with a stuffed club for a sceptre, ho fell
over a chair and then came on. I should
have laughed if I had been on my death
bed when he said to Hamlet, 'I am thy
father's ghost.' Ho looked more like a
drummer for a wholesalo confectionary
houso, with a sort of tin skimmer on his
head, and I believe the audience would
have gono wild with laughter, if it had not
been for Mr. Booth. I don't belicvo yon
could get him to laugh on the stage for a
million dollars. Ho just looked at the
ghost as though it was a genuine one,
and tho audience looked at Booth, and
forgot all about the ulster and the ghost's
pants being rolled up at the bottom.
It was probably the greatest triumph that
an actor ever had for Mr. Booth to compel
tho vast audience to forget the ludicrous
surroundings and think only of the char
acter ho was portraying. I wouldn't have
missed the night's performance for a thou-
sand dollars, and when, at ten o'clock, I heard
the boys gciting the trunks up stairs, I waa
almost sorry. The last two acis were played
with the costumes, but they were no better
performed than the first. Still, I think, on
the whole, I had rather the baggage would
be there. It makes a manager feel better.
THE GHEAT AMERICAN COFFIN.
Mr. Joseph Coppin, a pioneer of this"
vicinity, who has resided in this city for a
number of years, has placed for safe keeping
at an undertaking establishment a burial
case, which he terms the "Great American
I Coffin," designed aud built by himself, and
..vuv.v.tt . u leuepracie lor ins foody alter
death. It is inclosed in a heavy pine box,
which he has stained a jet black- The case
is made of heavy American pine boards of
an inch thickness, and is so constructed as
to have a heavy bjise, eight panels, one at
each end, and three on either side, and a
heavy 'top leduc, all of which are appropri
ately painted, the base being red, the panels
white, and the top ledge blue. The lid of
this curiously-constructed case is entirely
covered with the stars aud stripes. 2Tear
the head of it is placed a daguerreotype of the
intended occupant, covered with a miniature
American flag, which lias to be lifted when
a view of the xicture is desired.
It is evidently the old gentleman's wislx
that his face and form shall not be exposed
to view when once his body is placed in the
case, but that his friends and relatives con
tent themselves with a view of his counter
feit presentiment. He has had placed in
his future resting place, at the bottom and
sides, the shaving3 from the boards of which
it is made, well covered with cotton batting.
With him will bo buried the second teeth
that he ha3 from time to time had to drop
from his mouth, which he has carefully
saved, and also a lock of hair of his first
Mr. Coppin is now ninety-five years of
age, and from his appearance one would
judge that it wiU be some years before the
product of his handiwork will be called into
requisition. Norrisiown (Fa.) Times.
HftlTS FOR THE HOUSEHOLD,
Noodles for Soup. Beat two eggs per
fectly light, add a small saltspoonful of salt,
and sufficient flour to make a very stiff
dough. Knead it well and roll out into a
thin sheet, then fold it over several times
and with a sharp knife cut it into narrow
strips. Drop liiem into the soup and boil
about ten minutes.
Celery Cream Soup. Wash very care
fully a small cupful of rice and let it boil in
three pints of new milk until it is soft
enough to pass through a sieve; strain it
and add the white part of two heads of cel
ery which have been grated or minced very
fine; cayenne pepper and salt to taste, and
one quart of strong white stock. Boil slowly
until the celery is quite tender, and add a
tablespoonful of butter and flour, rubbed
together. Serve very hot.
Gumbo. Take one peck and a half of
okra, one peck and a half of tomatoes, six
ears of green corn, one large onion, a slice
of bacon, and one large chicken. Cut tho
chicken into small pieces and fry it with the
omon'iTOitiPwell browned. Slice the okra
and fry it, also the corn and tomatoes, but
each"' separately. Put all together into a.
large kettle, with a close lid, and pour half
a gallon of boiling water over them. Boil
very slowly for four hours, and season with
salt and ceyenne pepper. Serve very hot.
Bacon and Cabbage. Take two pounds
bf bacon, and, after washing thoroughly, put
it on to boil in cold water. After it has sim
mered one hour add a large head of Early
York cabbage, which has been quartered and
washed. Boil slowly until the pork and
cabbage are tender. Eemove the skin from
the bacon and place it on a flat dish and
arrange the cabbage neatly around it.
Broiled Tomatoes. Select large, well
ripened tomatoes, and place them on a wire
gridiron over a slow fire. Let them cook
very slowly to prevent burning, and turn
frequently. When done place them on a flat
dish, and dres3 them with pepper, salt, and
French Cake. Beat to a cream half a
pound of butter and one pound of sugar.
Add live eggs, the yokes and whites beaten
separately; spice to taste; one cup of milk,
and one pound and a quarter of flour sifted
with a teaspoonful of baking powder; also a
pinch of salt. Then stir in a quarter of a
pound of currants which have been floured
with a small quantity of the flour saved
from that weighed for the cake. Bake one
hour and a quarter in a moderate oven.
Pumpkin Pie. Pare, remove the seeds,
and cut into small pieces a pumpkin weigh
ing about four pounds; cover it with water
and let it stew until it is quite tender; drain
it in a colander and return it to the kettle,
and let it steam until dry. Mash it with a
spoon and add a tablespoonful of butter,
three eggs well beaten, a cup of cream or
new milk, sugar and spice to suit the taste;
cloves and cinnamon are the best. Pour the
mixture into an open crust and bake about
thirty minutes in a quick oven. Serve cold.
Almond Pudding. Beat together the
yolks of two eggs and one cup of sifted su
gar until it is very light, add two cups of
cream, tho whites of-three eggs, the juice
and rind of one lemon, and two cups of flour
sifted with two teaspoon fuls of baking pow
der. Bake slowly in a square pan, but do
not let it become too brown. When cold cut
it into slices and stick them with blanched
almonds. Spread some raspberry or any
kind of jam over them, arrange them in a
glass dish, and pour a boiled custard, fla
vored with almond, oyer .all. Serxe cold.
Indiana Cakes. Beajto'.a cream one "
pound of sugar and three-quarters of a pound
of butter. Add four eggs, yolks andwlntes
beaten separately; half of a nutmeg, a tea
cupful of milk, and a teaspoonful of baking
powder, sifted, with two pounds o flour. ?
Eoll out thin, cut into small round cake3, .
and bake in a quick oven.
Spiced Tomatoes. Take seven pound3
of green tomatoes, three pounds and a half
of sugar, one ounce of cloves, one ounce of
cinnamon, and one quart of vinegar. Place -fruit,
sugar, and spices in layers in a bowl;
scald the vinegar and pour it over them, and
let them staud twenty-four hours. Eepeat
this tho next day. The third day put all
into a preserving kettle and let it boil live
minutes. Tack in stone jars.
"It is quito the proper idea for a young 4
lady to paint a bunch of pansies on a fresh
laid egg and forward it by special messenger
to her best gentleman friend. This signifies,
"Pa is hutching another scheme against you.
Come' over the garden waH ' this evening."
The interest now begin3.