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THE SUNDAY HERALD, SUNDAY, TUNE 1, 1S90.
PRETTY WOMAN'S TRICKS.
"MAM" ON AVOMEN'S STMATKGIKS ANI
MOW THKY AUK KMl'I.OYKD.
Woman Who Weep on Kdltors Shoulders
nntl Gnln Their Ends by Deccptlvo
Tricks I'rnnk Stockton Tells n Story
Aro Men's Logins Their Mights ?
SpccialCorrespondcncoof Sunday IIeuam).
New Yohk, Mny 30, 1800.
Don't you thiuk there 1b n little bit too much
of lovely woman nowadays ? She seems to have
her linger In every pie, from tho editorial to the
political. She Is ambitious at onco about brains
and bonnets, and she is perfectly willing to
wrestle with uny question in public, no matter
how abstruse or how diabolical It may be. Sho
has the cool and calm Impudence peculiar to
children ami fools, and If sho does "get there,"
aa tho slangy boy would say, It is oftcner be
causo of this than for any other reason. Sho is
a diplomat to the end of her linger tips, and the
masculine being who thinks he understands her
Is tho very one who is ucmg ucne 10 suit uui
will. It's all right for a woman to havo consid
eration, pretty courtesies, and polite words given
to her because eho is a woman; and I, for one,
would never believe that, In the working world,
she should not as a woman not only expect, but
by her own gentleness of manner and unfailing
politeness demand It. But I do draw tho lino
at her weeping on the shoulders of much-worried
editors, or her explaining to them all her
own personal nnd family woes with a view to
having her salary raised.
A rKETTY SIOUE, AM. T1SA.H3.
Is it done? Indeed it is, and In some cases
most effectively. Ono young woman, who an
nounces with great glee that she has reached a
point of wealth when tho spoons in her llat aro
all silver, and whoso Income is an extremely
good one, bus tho credit of looking decidedly
nrr.ttv when she weeps: her big brown eyes fill
with crystal tears and one after another cornea
chasing down her cheek, while her nose doesn't
get red, her face doesn't get Hushed, and sho
only suggests a pretty Niobe, all tears. No man
can withstand her. Another deliberately said
that whouover she wanted to get anything put
of a man who was an enthusiast on the subject
of Tueoophy sho asked him a question, got him
started, then sat and stared at him, and about
every ten minutes said in a very intense tone,
"How luminous 1" Ho speaks of her far and
wide as a woman with the greatest brain power
and tho best trained mind imaginable. Sho
doen't know "von a little bit about Theosophy,
butnono of her stories are refused. She's made
to rest whenever she feels like it, but you seo
there always is an "if" or a "but"-she is grad
ually gaining the reputation among women,
and that in time will extend to tho men, of never
doing anything or saying a civil word unless she
nas some uujl-ui. iu biu -ii"" " ' -
ALL TIIESE PRETTY LITTLE TIUCKS
are by no means confined to women who have
to earn their own living, for the girl in society
will bring all possible personal influence to bear
upon some one from whom she wishes a favor
in tho shape of an invitation or an introduction.
And the funny partof itis that American women
become so elated with their success that they
give themselves away. They tell of the means
they use to reach the desired end, a something
that a Frenchwoman would never do. She
would never confess even to herself just why sho
did anything, and, consequently, her manner
partakes of the naturalness that i only attained
irom self-belief. Self-assurance, a quality quito
different lrom self-belief, beems to be the one
that the American woman who wants to succeed
iu anything believes to bo necessary, and she
is very much mistaken. After she has gotten
two or three good hard blows, I don't care
roVintVim- thlT HIT" TTiniltlll OT TlUVBiCUl. SllC Will
come to her senses, and then she will realize how
she may advantageously be a little diplomatic,
but how much more advantageous It is to be
herself and learn to govern that unruly mem
ber, her tongue.
FHAKK STOCKTON TELLS A STOHY.
The other night a lot of people were talking
about Sidney Kosenfeld's play, "The Stepping
Stone." Frank Stockton was present, and some
body asked him what he thought of it. He said:
"Well, I will tell you a story. In a far-off coun
try, we won't say where, and we won't say when,
there was a railroad station where there was just
a box for the ticket office and a long, straight
platform. Now there a whole party of people,
wo won't suy who, waited to get on the train.
lter a while they discovered they had missed it.
and had to stay all night on the platform. They
consisted of thirteen young women and thirteen
young men. and an elderly lady as chaperone.
She didn't know exactly how to arrange her
charges for the night, and sho was a bit nervous,
because sho knew there were a great many tigeru
roaming around ready to chew unpeople who
looked as If they might taste good. She did the
best she could under the cneuniBtancoa. The
tM.-fr.nn vmititr men were all laid down in a row
like wooden soldiers, then came tho thirteen
young women, then, at the extreme end.
the chaperoue. However, after they were all
fixed, and just as she was closing her oyes, she
thought If a tigershould come ho would probably
eat tho person on tho end, so she got up and
packed herself in tho centre between the young
men and young women, and blept tho sleep of
the just, feeling that her duties as a chaperono
had been properly performed. When she
awakened in the morning she discovered that
tho tender young woman at tho extreme end had
been gobbled up by a ferocious tiger during the
houro of tho night! Now, just the way that
woman felt when she realized that she might
have been decorating the interior of atigeristhe
way I iclt when it dawned on mo that 1 had not
written the 'Stepping-Stone.' " The moral is oli
viout?. THE DEMAND KOH S110HT 6TOK1KS,
By-the-by, what's the matter with tho Ameri
can author; why don't ho wrlto some clover
short stories? The uood short story iB tho healthy
bread and butter of the brain. Anybody can
writu a novel good, bad, or indifferent. Itdon't
mako any difference how many adjectives, or ad
verbs, or loug and lurid descriptions uro put into
a novel: but when you realize that you have got
to have a good plot, a little dialogue, a concise
but exact description of people and surround
ings, and keep It down to lrom three- to five
thousand words, your heart quails. No padding
will hido your inferior Knglish, no long descrip
tions of the frills on the heroine's skirt will con
ceal thobllraneBsof your plot, and no accounts
of romantic horses and stately equipments can
be used to 1111 up tho place where a short, crisp
conversation should ensue. Tho world la hungry
for the good short story. It doesn't mako any
difference whether It's stolen or original, Jf it get
heie. The coming man who is going to wrlto ono
doesn't seem to corne with the quickness with
which ho bhould. Few women write good short
stones; they always want to tell you all about it,
and when they try to be conofso they aro apt to
bo Jerky. Mako it a love or a murder, make it a
question ot niagio or of wit, but givo it soon and
offer it in the lorm or a story that can bo read in
half an hour. That's what we all want.
AHE MEN LOSING TUEUUUCIHTb?
I wonder If anybody is going out this spring to
ltcturo on the rights of inau V That unfortunate
creaturo who was the llrst human being to niaUe
hi3 dfibut In this world has hud every right he
ever possessed taken from him, He can no longer
claim his own shirt-front-tho heavy-stltched
glove with tho huge buttons ha o been appropri
ated. Hissputs have become feminine, his sleeve
llnka aro appropriated. His methods of conver
sation aro aa closely copied as possible, and his
swagger is conceded to be tho very sort of a walk
that women havo been looking for all their lives.
As yet his trousers aro left him, but that beastly
divided skirt id so much more hideous that when
it comes to a question of choosing between the
two I think the woman whowauta to look well
will decide In favor of tho kneo breeches. Ho
can no longer claim to havo anymoro pockeU
than sho has. for she will gleefully tell you that
tho fashionable tailor puts a pocket Just wnero
you can reach it, while In her cloth coat her pock-
ot-llaps really cover verltnblo pockets. She wears
a latch-key on a chain, and she has cultivated tho
art ot sharpening a lead-pencil.
WOMEN WITH MASCULINE TASTES.
The rights of man aro grndually being taken
from him, aud it's qutto time ho should rebel.
There are some things that should bo left him,
and ns ho has always been much nearer my heart
than any woman 1 beg to announco that I am
ready to stand up for him and enter a firm, If
feminine, protest against tho way ho Is being
treated. Whether women will copy his example
in behavior is something I do not know, nnd
which I will probably discover In tho future,
lust at present sholsdollghted, like tho little fool
that sho is, If somebody tells her that her reason
ing Is masculine In its strength. Sho is charmed
if Bho is thought to rend tho books that men
would read, and she Is perfectly willing to give
her opinion on anything, from a button-hole bou
quot to double book-keeping. She is just as
funny as the monkey that comes with tho organ,
for she's just ns near being a man as he is. One
girl who realized this fact went ir.toahaberdash-
nr'n tnliiivfispiirf tn wear with her bovish get-up.
Sho said to theiuan behind the counter. "Oh, dear
mo. I shall never be able to tie this I Why can't
I havo ono that's alrcndy tied, with hooks be
hind?" Very politely the answer came to her,
"Yes, madam, but no gentleman would think of
wearing a ready-tied scarf." "Oh, but" said
she, "1 am afraid I never shall be a perfect gen
tloniau I" I doubt if the little lady will ever be a
WHAT IS A I'EUVECT OENTLEMAN?
It does mnko you wouder just what a perfect
gentleman is and what the things are ho doesn't
do beside not wearing a scarf already tied.
A perfect gentleman doesn't look all over a
woman ns If ho thought her a bit of horseflesh or
was calculating tho material her frock was mndo
of nnd how much it cost.
A perfect gentleman doesn't come in at 1 o'clock
at night nud wonder why the woman who is fond
of him wns such a fool as to sit up and wait for
A perfect gentleman doesn't toll ono woman
whnt he knows about another or give her hlslovo
Ho doesn't dress to advertise tho tailor shop,
drink to boom champagne, or tout for a hotel
that ho may get his board for nothing. Hodrcsses
well because It's expected that he should, he
drinks because he's thirsty, and wherever he lives
ho nays for It.
He doesn't complain of crying children or ex
press audible opinions about women In street
cars or on the sidewalk, nor does ho trample all
over them getting in and out of tho cars.
A perfect gentleman is usually a good Demo
crat, is honest himself nnd believes everybody
olso to be the same, loves his wife, thinks thero
aro no children like theirs, and Is above nil the
stingy, low qualities that mark the difference be
tween a gentleman aud a cad.
A perfect gentleman Is the only man on whoso
head you ought to be willing to lay your head
aud feel that you are at rest. Bah.
Doitifr Europe at No Expense.
Think of going to Europe without a cent of
cost on a first-class steamer, aud stopping at
iirstrclass hotels In London, Paris, Brussels, Ant
twerp, and other cities! Tnn Sunday Herald
is goiug to give Washington's most popular
school teacher this sort of a vacation trip this
Black Underwear For Men.
Up to a very few weeks ago the idea of men
wearing solid black underwear would have been
regarded as preposterous, says Chatter. Owing
to the caprices of swelldom, however, there is
no telling a month ahead just what may happen,
aud iu the matter of dress men are just as fan
tastic and quite as ephemeral and vain as women
possibly can be. As a matter of fact, black un
derwear is now the rage among a lot of young
clubmen who may be said to set the pace for all
New York aud the rest of the country in ex
treme fashions. The garments iu question,
which arc, o course, of pure silk, include the
undershirt,, drawers, nightshirt, half hose, sus
penders, carters, and sleeve straps, mere aro
also black silk neglige shirts for the sea-shore.
The reason given for"iesortiug to black under
clothes is that black brines out the lines of the
human figure to betteradvautage than any
As a cure and preventive for spring fever
drink It. I'ortner Brewing Co.'s beer.
When out of order, Involves every organ of
tho body. Itenicdlcs for some other derange
ment nro frequently taken without tho least
effect, because it Is tho liver which is the real
source of the trouble, and until that Is set
right there can bo no health, strength, or
comfort in any part of the system. Mercury,
In some form, is a common specific for a slug
gish liver; hut a far safer and more elTccllvo
For loss of appetite, bilious troubles, consti
pation, Indigestion, and sick headache, these
Fills are unsurpassed.
" For a long time I was a sufferer from
stomach, liver, and kidney troubles, expe
riencing much difficulty iu digestion, with
severe pains In tho lumbar region and other
parts of tho body. Having tried a variety of
remedies, Including warm baths, with only
temporary relief, about three months ago I
began tho use of Ayei's Pills, and my health
Is so much improved that I gladly testify to
the superior merits of this medicine."
Manocl Jorge rerclra, Porto, Portugal.
"For the cure of headache, Ayer's Cathar
tic Pills are tho most effective medicine I
ever used." 11. K. James, Dorchester, Mass.
"When I feci theueedof a cathartic, I tako
Ayer's Fills, and find them to bo more effec
tive than any other pill I ever took." Mrs.
15. C. Grubb, Bur well vlllc, Va.
" I have found in Ayer's Fills, an invalua
ble remedy for constipation, biliousness, and
kindred disorders, peculiar to miasmatic
localities. Taken In small and frequent
doses, these Fills
on the liver, restoring Its natural powers, and
aiding It in throwing off malarial poisons."
C. F. Alston, Quitman, Texas.
"Whenever I am troubled with constipa
tion, or suffer from loss of appetite, Ayer's
Fills set me right again." A. J. Klser, Jr.,
Bock House, Va.
" In 185S, by the advice of a friend, I began
the use of Ayer's Fills as a remedy for bil
iousness, constipation, high fevers, and
colds. They served me better than anything
I had previously tried, and I have used them
in attacks of that sort ever since." H. W.
Hersh, Judsonla, Ark.
This is the
IT IS THIS BEST ON EAHTH, AND ALL WHO HIDE IT WILL SAY SO.
SPRING FORKS MAKE IT COMFORTABLE ON BOUGH ltOADS
AND FUOLONG ITS LIFE.
SOLD ON EASY TERMS IF SO DESIRED.
CALL AND EXAMINE.
VIS lUilrtoentli Street Nortlnvcst,
A. G. SPALDING fc BRO!
BASE BALL, LAWN TENNIS, ARCHERY, AND GENERAL
of Base-ball Roods in an entire new lino of Balls. Wasron-
Ash Bats, Catchers' and Basemen's Mlts, Gloves, nnd acces-
DR. J. C. AYER & CO., Lowell, Mass.
Sold by all Druggists and Dealers iu Medicine.
An Infallible Remedy
for tho Cure of all Contagious Diseases of
tho Urinary orsrans; tfuarantced not to
produco Stricture; no sickeiiinir doses; and
no inconvenienco or loss of timo. lte
commended by physicians and sold by drug'
srists everywhere. J. TeritS, (successor to
isrou;, i-iiarmacjcn, trans. ,
AVe offer this season a superb lino
tongue, Axletrcc, and Second-growth
In Tennis goods the line is unapproachable, embracing tho NEW SLOCUM TOURNAMENT
RACQUET nnd Spalding's imported TOURNAMENT TENNIS BALLS, bclnpr the finest goods ever
produced. Also In stock the standard lino of Wright & DItson's Racquets and Tournament Tennis
In Archery goods wo present a lino of imported Bows, Arrows, and accessories, selected by Mr.
John "W. Spalding when in England last fall, which aro well worthy tho attention of tho devotees of
this pleasant nnd exhilarating out-door sport.
In FishlngTacklc the assortment is splendid. Every foreign mart has been searched, and the sam
ples of each domestic manufacturer havo been gone over, with a view of presenting for tho season
1890 the best selected stock of Split Bamboo, Lance-wood, Bcthabara. Green-heart, and other Rods.
Tho specialties are "Leonard's" Split Bamboos, "Divine's" Bethabara and Green heart, Spalding's
Kosmlc Split Bamboo, Chubb's, Conroy's. and Abblo & Imbrie's Lance-wood nnd Ash-jointed Rods.
The hard-braid raw-silk Bass Lines and Martin's "Kingfisher" Potomac Bass Lines are better than
ever. Also a new and Imported line of Harrison's Potomac BaBS Hooks, short shanks and well-do-flncd
barbs. In fact wo havo ovcry kind of Rods, Reels, Lines, Hooks, etc., that tho most fastidious
llsherman could desire. We offer a beautiful Split Bamboo Rod, Honshall pattern, for SI each, and
from that up to Leontird's Rods at S30. Only the best goods in stock. Send for catalogue of sum
mer sports. All kindsof General Sporting Goods. Dealers supplied and special rates to clubs.
mr23-ly5 1013 1'cnnsylvania Avonuo.
A clergyman, after years of suffering from
that loathsome disease Catarrh, and vainly try
ing every known remedy, at last found a pre
scription which completely cured and saved him
from death. Any sufferer trom this dreadful
disease sending a self-addressed stamped enve
lope to Prof. J. A. Lawrence, 88 Warren street.
Now York, will receive the recipe f reo of charge
Arrests discharges from tho urinary organs
In cither ecx in 48 hours.
It la superior to Copaiba, Cubeb, or injec
tions, and free from all bad smell or other
Cansulcs, which bear tho name in Llackl
Utters, without which none are genuine.
Charles 1. Calvert,
Topographical Engineer and Surveyor. Espe
cial attention given to subdividing country
property. U-OF street northwest. aul8-lyU
All the leading restaurants havo R. Portner
Brewing Co.'s Vienna Cabinet and Culmbacher
Beers on draught. Call for it and drink no other.
One of the finest and best brands of beer
manufactured is the Tar.nhauser. which is bot
tled and sold by Mr. Herman Benzler, 'Ml D
Rtreet. Family orders aie made a specialty. Or
ders by postal or telephone 'lli-Z will receive
Heunch's Extra Pale Lager. Ask for it.
THE INDVSTltlAL SAVINGS
jtiid LOAN ASSOCIATION.
1 1 PAYS BENEFITS in the EVENT of DEATH.
It is a SAVINGS INSTITUTION.
It LOANS MONEY TO ITS MEMBERS.
SHARES, TWENTY-FIVE CTS. A MONTH.
J. II. SOULE. THOMAS G. HENSEY,
oc27-tf 1 1300 F Street Northwest
A inoricaii Security and Trust Co.,
1410 G Street Northwest.
Money received upon deposit, subject to cheok
at Bight, and interest allowed on dally balances.
G per cent, llrst loans upon city property for
Thomson-Houston Electric Company. Pre
ferred stock, bearing 7 per cent dividend, for
sale. A good Investment.
Suretyship uonds. aiouoy Loaned.
Escrow deposits and valuable papers received.
Ollicera A. T. Britton. President: C. J. Bell,
First Vice President; A. A. Thomas, Second Vice
PreMdent; Percy B. Metzger, Secretary and
Directors-A. T. Britton, James fi. Fitch, W.S.
Thompson, Harry F. West, Robt. Dornan, Win.
Vomer. Henry S. Louchhelm, .Tumes G. Pavne,
Nath. E. Januey. Wm. M. Coates, Berlah Wll
kins. Martin F. Morris, Alan H. Reed. C. J. Boll,
M. M. Parker, Chas. C. Duncanson. Eillnghara B.
Morris, Chas. Porter. Joseph A. Jannoy, A, A.
ThomuB, M. W. Beveridge, Caleb J. Milne, Crosby
S. Noyes, John E. Herrell, John S. Jenus.
INSURE IN THE
American Accident Indemnity
Association of New York.
5,000 Insurance lor 812 per Year
Office, 01, 92, 03 and 01 Temple Court,
JOHN H. DARNEILLE, General Agent,
Ja5-tf 1U6F street northwest.
LATEST STYLES AND LOWEST RATES.
Artists' and Architects' Supplies,
.i01 NINTH STREET.
nlO-tfC BRANCH, 1722 PENNA. AVE.
v nu mi iu uaiv
illll VI llllj 11VU1
1314 MaHsnohnsottK Avonuo
will reopen MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 2. It af
fords every facility for acquiring a thorough
md llnlsbed education. No efforts aro spared to
advanco tho pupils in music and nrt. Tho musi
cal department comprises theory and technic,
and embraces piano, harp, violin, guitar, and
Languages, general vocal and drawlntr, nnd
fancy work free. seB-ly.1)
1. That which is honest.
'2. That which is strongest and most durable.
15. Thnt which is made of the best obtainable materials.
4. That which is made by the most skillful workmen.
5. That which is the product of tho widest and most varied experience.
0. That which embodies the latest and best improvements.
That which is manufactured by men who have a reputation to sustain.
That which has a guarantee that Is unquestioned.
That which stands the severest tests of year,s of hardest service.
, That which merits and receives tho approbation of tho public.
these Reasons and More are Applicable to the Columbia
We arc selling the Columbia Safety both for Ladles and Gentlemen, also the
THOMAS W. IMNEW
WHOLESALE DEALER IN
HAY AND STRAW
HAllTFOIll), HUSH, ORESCENT, JUNO, and JUNIOHS
All machines sold by us arc GUARANTEED to bo freo from all imperfections of
material or workmanship for ONE YEAR.
Full Line of Sundries. Machines of all kinds for Hire,
1230 Pennsylvania Avenue.
O STREET Northwest
PAINTING IN ALL ITS BRANCHES, INTE
RIOR AND EXTERIOR.
Decorating, Gilding, Bronzing. Estimates fur
nlBhod for work in city aud country. First-class
material and workmanship.
Ofllco,41C Tenth Street Northwpst, next Gaa
oc27-tfl MAONIOHOL SON.
ECONOMY GAS RANGES,
UAS FlXTl'KKK and JjAMPS.
AGENT FOR THE
U. S. Water Purifying Co.
BUHRING'S FILTER SYSTEM.
S. S. SHEDD & BBO.
432 NINTH STREET.
ANDREW J. JOYCE'S SONS.
OFFICE AND FACTORY,
1028-1030 Conn Ave.
New Pockotbook ami
NEW SLIDING PORTFOLIO
AVltU Comminution. Dictionary.
CHAPMAN & TAYLOE,
015 ronnaylvaula Avenue.
CARRIAGES FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY.
The latest Novelties hi JiucJebonrds and Natural Wood, Trajts.
A J'ull line of liusset Harness and Stable Jtcrulslfes.
rictorlas, Phaetons, Itoad Wagons, Family Carriages, and
We are showing ten different stgles In Buehboards alone. Our
Harness Jiepartment is comjrtcte, and coni2rlses a full line of
Cart, Coupe, Jtockaway, Phaeton and Buggy Harness, always
In stoclc and made to order.
Horse Clothing of Every DcsarljUlon.
V016T & HAAS
Uadges of nil Descriptions u Specialty.
RIDER & ADDISON,
Paper, Blank Books,
037 Louisiana Avonuo.