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title: 'The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer. (Washington [D.C.]) 1887-1896, March 15, 1891, Page 14, Image 14',
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THE SUNDAY HERALD, SUNDAY. MARCH 15. 18S1.
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MAN'S IDEA OF MARRIAGE.
"BAH" ASKS SOME MEN WHAT THEY
THINK OF MATRIMONY
And Secures Some Interesting: Views A
Club-man's Ideas A Doctor's View
Why One Bachelor Is Content to Re
main as Ho Is Why Some Men Don't
Special Correspondence of TnE Sunday Herald.
New York, March 18. I have had three or
four letters lately, asking me, in different ways,
what was my opinion of marriage. It seemed
right that they should ho answered, and 60 I
started out on a journey of discovery, seeking
for knowledge from wise men. I do not think
that women are capable of deciding this ques
tion, for each one is certain to judge from her
own standpoint and that alone, and sd she can
not he said to look at the question in an un
The first man I met is a man of clubs. I
looked at him and I said, "Mr. Bachelor, is
marriage a failure?" and he said, "Mistress
Bab, I will answer you just as I did a man at
my club the other night, who propounded the
same question. I said: 'Look around this
room, crowded with men; three-quarters of
them are married ones; now, either the wife
has gone her way and the husband his, or the
woman is at homo lonely; and, in any event,
there is something wrong. If everything was
right the mhrrled man would be at his home,
satisfied there, and happy with his wife.' " Ho
gave his hat a most beautiful lift, smiled sweetly
at me, and left mo impressed with his great
knowledge of the world.
The next man whose fate it was to meet my
question was a doctor. Said he: "Marriage a
failure ? No, it isn't a failure, when the man
gets the right sort of woman and that woman
Is best described as a combination of the ideal
and the material. That combination makes a
perfect wife. But how many men find her ?
Usually, as Balzac said long ago, we go
round the world looking for this woman. Wo
want to find a combination of comrade and wlfo
in one volume, but we seldom succeed. Wo
have to choose two, and the world frowns at
THE IDEAS OF A BACHELOR.
The next man I Asked had thought it all out,
had seen it from both sides, and had concluded
that the holy 6tate of matrimony was one In
which he did not wish to enter; and these were
his reasons: "A man and a woman get married,
expect to be together three hundred and sixty
five days in the year, and never take the trouble
to find out whether they are calculated to bo
happy together. The man doesn't know whether
the woman can control her temper when ho
loses his, and vice verid, and they grow desper
ately weary of each other. A man has a right to
claim in marriage all that friendship would give
him, and a great deal more. Nine times out
of ten he gets a thoughtless affection and no
consideration." Then I answered here: "Yes,
but a woman has some claims. She has
Spend your summer at Derwood
Villlara F. Thomas, Twelfth and G.
a right to all that a lover would
give, to the consideration of a brother and a
certain amount of paternal care. I am not in
clined to excuse women, for I think that while
men may commit all the sins of the Decalogue,
a woman can nag a man into a fury that could
not be surpassed by a raging lion. I think,
too, if women were more wives and less moth
ers, marriage wouldn't so often be a failure.
Now, don't mistake me about this, for I am a
devout believer in babies, and don't think
that a married woman has any right to shirk
either the joys or pains of mothernood; but
too often the interest of the babies are thought
of first; tho husband is neglected, or, at most,
counted as a necessary evil. Women aro un
doubtedly creatures of habit, and once they
drift Into that dangerous sea of thoughtlessness
they are very apt to let the little bark marked
'husband' drift away, and very often It cannot
bo lured back."
"Yes," said the man, "a long time ago a
clever somebody a Frenchwoman said that
when passion and habit lie in company too
long habit wakens up to find that its compan
ion has fled. Personally I think that tho aver
age woman sees too much of her husband; next,
that she doesn't have a sufficient number of
outside things to interest him. She can't under
stand this, for she knows that he found her in
teresting before 6he was married, and she don't
realize that being away from tho people ho is
among, reading books and seeing plays, ho
doesn't 6co will give her no end of bright topics,
and will make her talk well and Interestingly to
him. For my own part, as a man, I believe
that 1 agree with Disraeli, who said that tho
perfect friendship between a man and a woman
consisted in their going in different sets, meet
ing at 12 o'clock over a bit of supper, and
discussing all they had seen as a solution of tho
secret of inarriago."
WnV SOME MEN DON'T MARRY.
"One reason why men don't many, especially
in largo cities, is because a bachelor with a
moderate income can enjoy tho theatres, tho
races, the little suppers and dinners, his clubs,
his purplo and fine linen, and tho society of
women. Married, that income would have to
be divided by two, and within bIx months mar
riage would bo a failure." That was another
man's opinion. For myself, I just gasped.
They all knew co much. 1 thought a little about
love; I thought a little about Yerona and
Rcmeo and Juliet, and then it dawned on me
that if tho aident Romeo had wedded his be
loved one, perhaps their marriage might have
been a success, becau30 house rents wero not
high in the old Italian town; people didn't woar
tho same expensive lingerie that they do nowa
days. Romeo probably didn't require the best
brandy, and Juliet wouldn't have wanted
Worth to have made her frocks. Wo like to
read, write, and talk about tho ennobling in
fluence of poverty. It may bo ennobling when
you go around with a basket begging, or when
you sell lead-pencils on the street; but I defy
anybody to prove that genteel poverty is desir
able. DO WIDOWS MAKE THE BEST WIVES V
But to return to matrimony which a great
You get a small farm at Derwood Park.
William F. Thomas, Twelfth and G.
Herald " Buildin
many people do when they have once tried it.
The English arguists maintain that the happiest
marriages have resulted from men marrying
widows. There's a good hit of reason in this.
Tho woman who has had one husband has dis
covered that tho proper study of womankind
is man; and experience has taught her how to
make life smoother, just as matrimony has
taught her restraint. Sho doesn't do as she
did at first. She doesn't bother a man's life out
of him by asking him if sho Is tho first woman
ho over loved, nor does she bring wrinkles on
her own face by fretting over unknown rivals.
She is sensible enough to conclude that he has
probably loved a great many women, while 6ho
Is positively certain that ho must have loved
her best, else ho wouldn't have asked her to
have been his wife. On her wedding-ring is an
unseen gem experience and sho uses it to
make light tho paths of married life, so that
there will not come over it a shadow of discon
tent. Why don't girls learn that there's not much
compliment In being man's first love? Tho
man who goes Into a garden of flowers and
simply takes tho first ono ho meets doesn't
know what ho Is doing. It may not bo sweot;
there may he thornB on it, and it may soon fade.
Tho wise man Is tho ono who goes all through
tho garden, and, seeing them all, selects tho
sweetest, and, most Important of all, tho ono
that will last longest. Curiously enough, tho
orchid, which Is tho typical flower of civilized
woman, will outlast all tbo violets, roses, and
oven tho great pure white lilies. To my mind,
more marriages would bo successes if women
wero more loving, more affectionate, mo con
siderate, and more patient; but I firmly believe
you see by this I am an ultra-conservative
woman that tho man Bhould have tho moro
brain of tho two. I don't want a woman to bo
a fool, but I think sho should ho moro loving
than Intellectual, and moro gracious than
learned. That's tho end of my sermon on mat
rimony. TOR TIIE GIRL WHO FRECKLES.
Tho spring is coming, and with it tho numer
ous ills that flesh Is heir to, especially freckles.
Tho girl who is going to keep herself from get
ting freckled by wearing a veil must wear ono
of the thick kind, that really gives ono a vapor
bath. It has a decidedly undesirable way of
getting in your mouth; but as you havo to suf
fer to bo beautiful and get rid of freckles, you
have to chew tbo cud of a thick veil and not
complain. Veils are the coquetry of tho young
and the charity of the old, and prove that
charms concealed attract tho most. It is very
funny, but the veil, that is said to bo as old
as tho vanity of woman or tho curiosity of man,
cannot be traced to its birth. There was a
time when men wore it, hut that was a very long
time ago, and evidently the women objected
and forced them to give up the coquettish bit
of dress that really belonged to them.
HOW DIFFERENT WOMEN WEAK VEILS.
An Epglishwoman regards a veil as something
to put on to keep out the sun or the cold, and
consequently sho assumes it In a very slovenly
fashion. Tho American and the Frenchwoman
know that it is beautlfler, consequently they,
Freo from dust and heat is Derwood Paik,
William F. Thomas, Twelfth and G.
HH wHBHr HBr BBbWBBB H
take great care in getting becoming veils, and
in arranging them 60 that tho beauty-spot is
just in tho right place, while tho veil itself does
not seem to drag the bat or to bo out of har
mony with it. Tho Spanishwoman knows that
her mantilla and her fan aro weapons of war
fare, and she is an adept in their use.
Tho veil most in voguo just now is tho fine
Russian mesh without a spot upon it; tho
beauty-spot, having been discovered to bo
ridiculous at times, has gone out of favor. Tho
bright scarlet veil is to tho fore again, but it
can only bo worn by women who arc very pale,
inasmuch as it makes every other woinim look
as if sho had a violent attack of scarlet fever.
A plain bluo veil ono of tho thin ones will
make you look pale, and a gray ono gives you
rather a ghastly look. Brown is generally be
coming, and tho fine tulle, in black, with very
small dots upon it, is always in good taste, and
usually makes tho complexion look better.
Speaking of red veils t reminds me that tho
rainy weather has brought out tho red umbrolla,
and made It a bit of brightness on a gloomy
day. Personally I approve of tho red umbrolla.
It is cheerful and encouraging, after a series of
black ones, though I don't know as it would
look well to see a Judge of tho Supremo Court
carrying ono. Still I think most women under
fifty look decidedly attractive under it. Tho
healthy likiug for red should bo encouraged;
And I don't seo why red silk can't bo as good a
way of protection as black. I don't seo why
everything that takes care of you mayn't bo
A WOMAN'S IDEA Or l'KOTECTION.
Don't you believe in protection ?
Protection from colds by good open fires,
quinine pills, porous plasters, and warm clothes.
Protection from bores by swords, daggers,
Protection from impudence by policemen,
clubs, and tho Society for tho Prevention of
Cruolty to Women.
Protection from looking ugly by pretty
frocks, pretty shoes, and pretty tempers.
Protection from dudes by tho Youpg Men's
Protection from bad books by your own good
Protection from; Ignorance by tho establish
ment of schools where reading, writing, and
arithmetic aro taught.
I am a believer in protection all around.
Goodness gracious I do you suppose anybody
will want to bo protected from Bab ?
Freed Prom Asthma.
Evansvillb,Ind., Oct. 1, 1890.
Dr. J. IP. Bergen, Petersburg, Lid.:
Dear Sir: I have used Bergen's Asthma
Cure for tho past four weeks and have found
moro relief from the use of it than anything
1 have over tried. I have been entirely freo
from asthma since taking your remedy, and feel
now that I will havo no recurrence of tho
disease. Yours truly,
F. H. BURTON.
For sale by Z. D. Gilman, 027 Pennsylvania
A delightful breeze always blowing at Der
wood Park. "William F. Thomas, Twelfth
, . &
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WHOLESALE AND RETAIL.
737 SEVENTH ST., HW.,
WASHINGTON, D. 0.
Oor. N. Y. Ave. and Tenth St.
Has no equal for Neuralgia, Rheumatism, and
all Nervous Ailments.
GRANDPATHEtt'S REMEDIES COMPANY,
1221 F streetN, W Washington. All druggists.
a JL .,A,. JL. $