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THE SUNDAY HERALD, DECEMBER27.1891.
THEY WERE WOMEN.
Didn't Stop to Think ttoforo Stopplnc
the Crowded Car GotiiR Up Hill.
The cur wns crowded from one end to the
other, ami to the front and rear platforms
men were banging on. Slowly it climbed tbo
hill past tbo Treasury, the borses strainiug
every muscle. Yet, despite tbo fact tbat not
even standing room could bo bad, two womou
stepped out from the sidewalk just as tbo car
was half way up tho bill and called to tbo
driver to stop. Much against his will ho did
60, knowing how crowded tho car was and
tbo terrible 6traln to which his horses would
bo subjected on starting up. The women,
after a glance at the crowd and a moment or
two of consultation, Anally decided thatthoy
could not get aboard, and told the conductor
. .that they would wait for tho next one.
"That's something Idon'tunderstand," said
bo, as bo rung tho bell to go ahead.
'What's that you don't understand ?" asked
the fat mau.
"Why them women," replied tbo conduc
tor, "couldn't seo tbat the car was too
crowded for them to get aboard before they
stopped it right on a hill like this."
"Well, my dear fellow," chuckled the fat
j man, "I'll tell you. It was simply because
they wore womou. If they hadn't been
Women they would have not only seen tbat
they couldn't get on, but they would also
pave seen tbat it was an absolute cruelty to
itop borses on a hill with a load like this to
Bull. If they had thought of it for even a
moment they would perhaps have never
stopped the car; but as Tom Hood said:
More eU is wrought by want of thought
than by want of heart.' "
DOWN ON BICYCLES.
He Wanted to Got Hurt So As to "Write
tbo Mnttor Tip.
Detroit Free Press.
"Bicycles arc a nuisance," he said to tho
city editor, coming up to his desk, after the
manner of a man with a grievance.
"So?" Inquired the editor, who rode one
"Yes, they are. I've just been waiting for
a chance to write them up."
"What's the matter with them?"
"Aw, they take up the street, scare horses,
run people down, and do all sorts of unex
"Why don't you write tbem up, then, with
"That's just It. I was coming across the
street this morning and 1 saw two coming
lickety-split from opposite directions. 1 was
going to get out of the way at first, but I
thought I had as much right as they had to
the 6treet, so I concluded to stand my ground
and just make one of them run into me. I
knew it was my opportunity to get even and
I wasn't going to lo6e it."
"And you got run Into, and now you want to
blast the bicycle, do you? " Inquired the ed
itor, shoving a paper pad and pencil over to
"No, I don't," was the disgusted reply. "I
dodged around there for ten minutes trylDg to
eet in the way of one of them, and, by Jupi
ter, six riders sailed by ten feet on either side
of me and didn't touch a hair. That's why I
say they are a nuisance."
GLOVE REFORM NEEDED.
Women's Hands Distorted Out of All
Undoubtedly the portion of a lady's apparel
which most needs to be reformed is her glove.
The fingers are just long enough to cripple
the victim by tying her digits together at the
second joint. The hand, from tho wri6t to
the knuckles, is cruelly squeezed and dis
torted out of all shape or semblance to a hu
Attached to the portion of the wretched
affair already described is a great waste of
material long enough to reach half way to tho
elbow and wide enough to encircle tho neck.
This flabby and useless part, mortally offen
sive to the sight, invariably wrinkles down
about the wrist to complete the woful de
monstration of the enslavement of humanity
to tyrannical and 6en6elesB fashion.
. . . .
WORLD'S GREATEST PAS
SENGJ R TRAIN.
How Foreigners View tho Pennsylvania
One of the greatest revelations to foreigners
when journeying through this country Is the
luxurious method of traveling enjoyed by
Americans. They are 6taggard with the "Penn
sylvania Limited" and tho conveniences
afforded by this greatest passenger train of
A uniformed maid Is always on this train
ready to do service to ladles and children, and
the observation car Is the sanctum for loung
ing and comfort. Men revel In the cosiest of
smoking and library cars, with dailv and peri
odical literature before them, and bulletined
as wired to the train the stock and business
movements of tho hour, while a stenographer
and typewriter, whose services are entirely
free, is at a desk close by to receive, transcribe,
and dispatch letters and telegrams at their
bidding. These letters may be mailed in a
United States mail box on the train provided
for the use of passengers. The bath and bar
ber apartments are tho greatest of conveni
ences. It is no wonder this luxurious mode
of traveling has made tho "Pennsylvania Lim
ited" famous aud Is such a revelation to our
English cousins. This train leaves New York,
foot of Cortlandt and Desbrosses streets,
dally at 10:00 a. in., Philadelphia 12:30 noon,
for Chicago, Cincinnati, and the West.
They Dissipate on Charlotte Kubsc.
New ltork Recorder.
New York girls who patronize tho lunch
counters call for live times more Charlotte
russe than pie. Even cocoanut-ple has lost
caste, and this generation of rosebuds prefer
a paper full of whipped cream and sponge
cake to anything on the pantry shelf.
There Is talk about a Harrison souvenir
spoon for the Washington trade, with Baby
McKee's sweet little dimpled leg for the
handle and a high hat perched on his foot.
Prior to Talcing Inventory, January 1.
25 per cent, reduction on all Boy's Over
coats. Ei6eman Bros., 7th and E,
GUI's Chocolates, 11th and F, elegant.
for all diseases
be relied upon
to give the best
Cures others, will cure you
This popular remedy novor falls to
Dyspepsia, Constipation, Sick
And all diseases arising from a
Torpid Liver and Bad Digestion.
Tbo natural result Is good appotlia
nnd solid flesh. Doso small; elegant
ly auar coatoil and easy to swallow.
A guaranteed Ouro for Piles of whatever
kind or degree External, Internal, Blind
or Bleeding, Itching, Chronic, Becent or
Hereditary. $1.00 a box; 6 boxes, $5.00.
Sent by mail, prepaid, on receipt of price.
We guarantee to cure any case of Piles.
Guaranteed and sold only by
C. CHRISTIANI, Xx'uggls1:,
484 Pennsylvania Ave., south side.
Samples free. da!8-ly
PERFECT IH FORM I-MATCHIESS IN WARl
So anxioal were ih andean for stalwart men that
pun j Doja at blrtb were pat to death.
Every MAH can be STROHO
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YOUNG MEN OR OLD,
suffering from HERVOUB DE
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MEN, the Pride and Power of Hationi.
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monopoly OF 8UCCESB" in treat-
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n Afflictloniof Men. Testimonials
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OUR NEW BOOKSffiMKffli&yEi
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have been by m. Bead onr testimonials. Address at ones
ERSE MEDICAL CO. BUFFALO. N.Y.
JOIt. E. C WEST'S
Specific for Hysteria, Dizziness, Fits, Neu
ralgia, Wakefulness, Mental Depression,
Softonlng of tlie Brain, resulting in insanity
and leading to misery, decay, and death;
Premature Old Age, Barrenness, Loss of
Power In either sex, Involuntary Losses, and
Spermatorrhoea caused by ovor-exertlon of
the brain, self-abuse, or over-indulgence.
Each box contains one month's treatment.
$1 a box, or six boxes for $5, sent by mail
prepaid. With each order for six boxes will
send purchaser guarantee to refund money If
the treatment fails to cure. Guarantees is
sued and genuine sold only by STANDI
FORD'S ST. CLOUD PHARMACY, 933 F
et. nw and 10th and E sts. nw, Washington,
D. C. jal8-ly
When I say cure I do not mean merely to stop
them for a time and then have them return again.
I mean a radical cure. I have made tlia disease
of FITS, EPILEPSY, or FALLING SICKNESS a
life-long study. I warrant my remedy to cure the
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reason for not now receiving a cure. Send at
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II. G. HOOT, M.O., 1 83 I'cnrl St., N.Y.
'"'""ROOT'S PURGATIVE Pllili's cure
u Blood Diseases. Constinatloa and Biliousness.
DEPOT QUARTERMASTER'S OFFICE,
Washington, D. C, Decembers, 1891.
Sealed proposals, in triplicate, subject to
usual conditions, will be received hero until
II o'clock a. ra., SATURDAY, January 2,
1892, and theu opened, for furnishing during
tho five months commencing February 1, 1892,
such forage, straw, and bran as may be re
quired. All information required will bo fur
nished on application to this ofllce. Envel
opes containing proposals should be marked
"Proposals for Forage, etc.," and addressed
to GEORGE II. WEEKS, Deputy Quarter
master General, U. S. A. du(5-4t
T w n II
BE A MAN
AF0LL0 WAS A PERFECT MAft.
r fS A
Mi ' sj ft
'- i ii'i i
THOMAS S. DENHAM,
House, Sign, and Decorative
901 Q STREET SOUTHEAST.
Walls and Ceilings Kalsominod.
SiKii Writing, Gilding,
Speoial Composition for Damp Walls
Cffisar Patent White Enamoled Letters
1404 Fourteenth St. N.W.,
Washington, D. C.
All Orders Will Be Promptly Attended To.
CHARLES H. SICKLING,
1264 32D ST. N. W.,
WEST WASHINGTON, D. C.
Property in all Sections.
Special Attention to Georgetown.
Conveyancing. Titles Examined
ANDREW J. SCHWARTZ,
REAL ESTATE AGENT
NO. 605 SIXTH STREET NORTHWEST.
Houses Rented and Rents Collected
Country Property a Specialty.
Paper and Envelopes,
421 Eleventh Street northwest.
At a Rate so Low that You Cannot
Afford to be Without it by the'
419 Tenth Street Northwest.
GKOJIGE KEITHLET, G. B. TUCKER,
1215 Pa. Ave. S. E. 1217 Pa. Ave. S. E.
ILEITHLEY & TUCKER,
CARPENTERS & BUILDERS,
STORE WORK A SPECIALTY.
SHOP, N. W. CORNER EIGHTH AND E
STREETS S. E.
GAS HEATING STOVES.
j WE HAVE IN STOCK THE FOLLOWING HEATING STOVES:
SUN CHEERFUL. , .,
TIDAL W A YE.
RANGING IN PRICE FROM $4 UPWARD ALSO,
SPEOIAL STOVES FOE SPEOIAL PUEPOSES
WASHINGTON GASLIGHT CO.
TUST THINK OF IT!
TWENTY TRAINS IA.irjY. EOUIt CENTS X-A-ItE.
Al NO TIME in tho history of tho District of Columbia has any so high, healthful, and eligi
ble building lots been placed within tho reach of our citizens when tho means of access
were so perfect and terms of owning one's own homo so good as at
HOLMES' SUBDIVISION, MILLS' ESTATE.
New York avenue and Rhode Island avenue will pass almost directly
by this property, and thereby bring it in direct communication to the
city. Buy one of their lots for an investment. Buy a lot, build a home,
and don't pay rent year afte year. Buy a lot now and save your earn
ings. Remember that real estate is the basis of all values. Lots ad
joining this property are selling from 7 to 30 cents per foot, while we
propose closing these lots out at from 3 to 5 cents, and at our pioneer
prices 10 cash and $10 per month. Two lots same terms. Don't
wait until the best lots are all sold. Come up to our office and get
tickets, and go out and see for yourself.
EASTEUDAY & ALDEHAH.
A.NJO 8-POUND BOXES
Office Corner Pennsylvania Avenue and Ninth Street.
MARKET STALLS Ninth-street Wing Centre Market, 125 Northern Liberty Market
Tolephono No. 271-3. ,
GEO. W. EVANS,
619 F Street
TJ1 " "O
NEW FRAME HOUSE,
Only four miles out on the Baltimore and Ohio Road, three minutes'
walk from depot, beautifully located on high ground, front and back
verandas, 7 rooms, bath, and concrete cellar.
Small cash payment, balance monthly. Also several desirably-located
lots in "Wilen Heights, Hyattsville. and Kensington Park," on easy
Pacific Building, 024
Tincture of Lif i
Has no equal in tho treatment oC Dyspopsla, Brlght's Disease and all other Kidney Troubles,.
Llvor Complaint and all diseases arising from a disordered stomach or impure blood. As
remedy for Femulo Weaknesses and other diseases peculiar to women Tincture of Life is
wonder. All DrutftriBta. GRANDFATHERS 1U5MEDIES COMPANY, Washington, D.0.
608 F i reet Northwest
- LEAF CLOVER.
PACKED TTOIt ITA-SrilXT XJSE
F Street Northwest.
21 jfflk TP I VTi