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to put off nn Astor wid tho mere
lluillo of n sluing chicken nil' a
(Unity dub o' hot biscuit. O, murd
therl if I done melt a thing, I'd not
been able to forgive myself the
longest day, o' mo life! Tito only
nitinUfor yotij-Httr, would bo quails
liintts on toast wild sonic nice
islcrs to Mart in on nnd a bottle or
two o' nice wine to top off wid."
"'0, iny good woman, you give
yourself too inucli trouble. Now as
for the wine, I don't ically caic for
it. Have you in the house, my
good woman, a little good whiskey?"
and his teeth ehntteied like cast
anets. "Sure haven't we a great dimmy
john b' tll6 best o' Bom bin, but that
,c'll 01 want a swig of before
ntin'. I'ni not certain I'll find the
off shift an'
but my old man will be
coining home In half an
hour, and I'll send
him up town to
about the other
a breakfast for
sec about 'em, nlid
things stiitalile for
an Astor. "
"My good woman, I won't allow
you to go to the trouble. Give me
the spring chicken and the hot
biscuits, and the "
"1 beg of you not to think of it'
my dear madam t You.ro too good.
I won't even wait for the chicken.
Give me the ham and eggs and hot
coffee. It's a breakfast for a prince.
"No, stir, not spring chicken is
not for you, stir; you must have the
My uncle's favoroite breakfast 1"
aiul the 'poor fellow almost danced
'I won't hear to it! You must
wait till my old man comes home :
then ye'U get yer quail on toast."
"But, consider, my dear woman.
I am almost starved ; so far Heaven's
sake be quick! Give me the cold
potatoes and buttermilk, and I'll be
"(Jowld pertatics and butthermilK,
indeed ! Cowld pertatics and butther
milk for an Astor? May the devil
take yc and fly away wid ye to be
hoggin for cowld pertatics and
butthormilk! Ye're no thrtio Astor;
ye're but a common thramp! He off
wid ye, yc blaggard ; would I be
wiistin' cowld pertatics and butther
milkon the loikes of you? Ach! ye
diithy, stiiVellu' devil, heie ye've
kept me half an hour froczin' in the
cowld wid offeriii' of yc ham and
eggs, spring chicken, and quails on
toast, and jest when ye've worked
on me feelings till I'm leady to
belavc yc an angel from the skies,
ye come back to the cowld pertatics
and butthennilk! He off wid yc, or
Til unchain the bulldog on ye, ye
dirthy, tliavin',' miserable devil of a
beggin' tramp! IJless the Lord,
here conies mo old mini!"
This was enough and more than
enough, for the heart-broken des
cendant of the great John Jacob,
lie released his hold on the top
picket of the gate, glanced nervously
over h is right shoulder, then over his
left, and, "with wandering eteps
and slow," from l.efoie the Villa de
McDowd, took his "solitary way."
A TRANSPARENT HEAD.
A remarkable frenk of nature ar
rived in this city yesterday, in the
way of a child which has managed to
live for seventeen months without
that bony "dome of thought" which
is regarded as essential to continued
existence. Moreover, the child seems
to have no use for a brain, if the
eyes may be believed, for, in the
absence of a skull, the head is trans
lucent and almost transparent, while
1 4'in mi I gt a lntrilt i titti-ii 1 tr 1 in 11
it may be perceived that the brain
cavity is tilled with a colorless fluid.
Nothing exists in this scrum that
can be perceived. The head is laiger
than the bod', the increase of size
being almost entirely above the tem
ples, and measures twenty-seven
inches around. The lower face is
perfect, and the child would be
pretty but for the monstrous develop
ment. The rapid growth of the
head has drawn the skin until the
eyelids will not' close, and the eye
brows are pulled up an inch above
the normal position. When an En
quirer reporter visited the child
yesterday it was asleep, and its
mother would not allow it to be
awakened for experiments. A rather
dim coal-oil lamp was placed behind
the monstrous head, and gleamed
through, as tho skin formed the only
obstacle to the light. The veins
upon the forehead and the locks of
hair upon the back of the head made
the only shadows as was proved by
moving tho lamp. The light behind
the head illuminated tho whole of
the interior being as perceptible
upon the side as the fiont of the
occiput. It is claimed that when
the child is awake, tho light of a
lamp or sunlight falling upon the
back of the head is even more plain
ly seen through tho eyeballs or the
nostrils, or through the cars when
placed at ouo side. This remarkable
head is covered with an abundant
growth of auburn, silky hnir.
The- child has every anpcitrauce,
except in the color of the skin, of
good health. It is fully developed,
very plump, and is said to be strong,
while it has a good appetite. In nil
its habits it is regular and like any
other child. That it should have
progressed bo far ns to bo weaned (
maintaining good health, and should
have reached the teething period, Is
one of the wonders of physiology.
Its senses nrc said to be perfect nnd
acute, and it possesses enough intelli
gencc to smile faintly when tickled,
and to recognize food when he socs
it. When the child was bout it was
known ns "the headless baby," as it
seemed cut off above the cars on u
line sloping toward the nape of the
neck, while a wrinkled skin covered
the top. It sulT'ercd greatly, and Its
life was preserved with (ulueully.
At three or four weeks of age ,tho
skin began to fill out, when the
child's suflorings ceased and it en
joyed good health. The growth
has been constant since. The child
suffers no pain, and the convenience
of not being able to sit up in conse
quence of its deformity. The tension
of the skin is such that it docs not
yield as readily to the touch as
might be expected from Us appear
ance, yet the child docs not seem to
experience any tronblc from this,
and was sleeping as sweetly yester
day as anybody's cherub.
The child was born February 20th
of last year on Bccck Fork of.
Twelve-Pole cicek, Wayne country,
West Vhginia. It is of the male sex,
and is known as Frank Canky.
THE GRUB DANCE.
Over in northwestern' Wyoming
where nature has not been monkeyed
with very much as yet, and where
the noble red man still clings to his
youthful customs, and everything
else he can get his bread hooks at
tached to, (i party of ladies and
gentlemen, on a kind of a summer
tour as it were, pitched their tents,
and while ostensibly catching a few
trout and killing au occasional
grouse, were in fact most of the
time killing mosquitoes and admiring
nature in all her unvarnished loveli
ness. One evening as the, twilight
lowered and the camp fire was
lighted, there was a blood-cuidling
whoop in close proximity to the
camp that made the hair in tho ladies'
$13 Saratoga waves stand on end.
In Ave minutes a hundred warriors
were soon around the fire. They
soon convinced the party that they
were not out after n ten-gallon cm
of blood, and that everything would
be amicable. The ladies brought
out .some bread and raspberry jam,
and the gentlemen got a small demi
john of Kentucky blue grass whisky,
and joy was comparatively un con
fined. Later in the evening the
noble chief Ilolc-in-the-heel-of-liis-sock,
whose prowess as a wan ior
and unidentified horse thief has
reached from sea to sea, expressed a
desire to give a "grub dance," as it
is called. The "grub dance" is n
little select hop wherein the principal
features seem to boa wild, blunt
ing, frec-for-all-knoi'k-down aud-drag-out
wait, ending in one giand
recherche gorge and semi-annual
fill-up. The ladies had never seen
an Indian dance, and they were wild
in a moment to sec the painted war
rios move through the stately figures
of the mazy to the mournful music
of the savage orchestra.
Preparations were at once made,
and a of warriors extending
around the lirc,i placed themselves in
the proper position to begin, tho
pale-faces being situated in the
center of the ring.
In the glorious summer weather
peculiar to this season, the Indian
docs not wear a blanket, but instead
n largo linen tablecloth hung over
him like an old wall tent over a
dead stump. At the tap of the
drum this garment is cast aside in
order to give freedom of limb and
grace of execution to the dancers.
The drum tap was given as per
programme and small bills, and with
a wild snort and a spring into tho
air they flung their tablecloths to
the ground and madly mingled in
the mazy regardless of expense,
When the brawling braves threw
their mantles down, their costume
was so nlllhcd decollete that every
lady spectator lied like a f lightened
deer. One young lady, frcbi from
an Illinois normal school was fpuiul
the next day up a tree two miles
and a half ;nyny. The great charm
of the grub dance is, that the Indian,
after throwing aside his tnblcclolh,
is dressed liko the deck slavo, only
the Gteek blavo wore hand
cuffs and the icd mail in the
grub dance does not. The young
lady from Illinois sayb that the
customs, conventionalities and
clothes of au unnatural and artificial
civilization arc good enough for her,
and she is going back home as soon
as some moio new skin grows on tho
end of her retrousse nose. Lara
On the Western plains, when the
"boys" wish a little amusement with
a "tender-foot," as a newcomer is
culled, they mount him on a break
ing "horse; The fun lies In seeing
him Illustrate the nursery doggerel.
"Now you go up, jiiowi you you go
down." Judging from the follow
ing narrative of an Egyptian
traveller's experience in riding a
ciiniel, the Atabs also nae much fun
in seeing a "lender-foot" tiding a
camel for tho first time :
Mounting the camel is not dlfll
cull, but it has some sweet surprise
for the uovicd. The camel lies upon
the ground with all his 'legs shut up
under him like n jackkuife. You
scat yourseir in me moan saddle
and cross your legs in front of the
Before yott are ready, something
like a private earthquake begins
under you. Tho camel raises his
hindquarters suddenly, and throws
you ovcrtiipon his neck ; and, before
you recover from that, he straightens
up his knees and gives youl it jerk
over his tail ; nuil, while you aid not
at nil certain what barf happendd. he
begins to move off with that dislo
cated walk which sctsyoudnto.iv see
saw motion, a wnying backward and
forward in the capacious saudloi
Not having a hinged back for this
movement, you lash the beast with
your kootba'sh to make hiin.changc
his gait, lie is nothing loth to do
it, and nt once starts into a high
trot, which sends you a foot into the
air at every step, rolls you from side
to side) drives your backbone into
your brain, and makes castanets of
C'ttpital exercise. When you have
enough of it you pull up, and hum
bly inquire what is the heathen
method or riding a dromedary.
It is simple lenough. Shake the
loose halterropc, he has neither bridle
nor bit against his neck as you swing
the whip, and tho animal at once
swings into an easy pace, like that
of a rocking-horse. i
But everything depends upon the
camel. I happened to mount one
that it was a. pleasure to ride, after
I brought him to the proper gait.
We bailed along over the smooth
sand, w ith level keel, and on cush
ioned feet. But it is haul work for
the camel, this constant planting of
his spongy feet in the yielding
A MYSTERY OE THE SEA.
In December, 1873, the British
ship Die Gratia arrived at Gibraltar,
witli the Mary Celeste, an American
luiganline, found derelict in latitude
38 20- N., longitude 17 l.V W. ;
but without any apparent cause for
her abandonment. The Admiralty
Court oidered a special survey. The
exterior of the ship's hull showed no
trace of damage, nor was there any
appearance of her having htrivk on
any rock or ground, or been in
collision. The stern, stcmpo.t and
rudder weie in good condition. As
with the exterior, so it was with the
interior of the derelict. A minute
examination proved conclusively that
no accident had befallen her, and
that she had not encountered very
heavy weather ; for the pitch in the
water-ways had not stnited, and the
bull, masts and yards weie as perfect
ns they well could be. There was
not a crack m the paint, of the deck
house. The seamen's chests and
sundry ni tides of clothing on board
weie quite dry; moreover, a 'small
vial of sewing-machine oil, and a reel
and thimble over it, had, not even
een upset. The harmonium and
the rest of Hie cabin' furniture fstood
in their proper places, the niusju and
boiiks bcatteied about had evidently
never been web The bauels of
spirits, fonning the ship's cargo t
were all well stowed, mid' saving; ope
that had started, t were intact and in
good order. No jiuls of lading, no
manifest, rewarded the industry of,
active bcarchers.. lhey found, how
ever, abundant evidence of the
presence of a lady and child on board
the brigantiue. The last entry in
the log showed that at 8 A. M. on
the Otli of November she had passed
to the north of St, Mary, one of the
Azores'; out, for divers reasons, it
was inferred that she was not aban
doned until some days later.
Why had1 the 'Mary Celeste been
iiiiniidoncd.' a very ten Hue answer
was suggested by' the finding of a
woid, appearing as though it' had
been stained witli blood and nftci
warils wiped; and the discovery that
the tpji-galhuit rail bore marks of the
samp ominous character, while bpth
sides, of the ship's bow had been cut
by 'some sharp instrument. The
Cuptajn was well known in Gibraltar,
ipid' no one believed him capable of
lending' a hand to the perpetration of
any foul play, "Up' to the present,
time," said tjie Gibraltar Ctroiiiclc
of January 20, 1871, "not awoul
has been heard, notatracc discovered,
of the Captain 'or the crow', or the
lndy and' her child. It van only be
hoped that by giving the utmost
'publicity to the circumstances Bonic
light may be thrown upon. them.
The homo press did its part in
spi ending the story far and wide,
but as far as we have been able to
ascertain, the hope expressed was
not realized; ntd the abandonment
of tlic Mary Celeste, and the fate of
those belonging to her, nrc still
among the many unsolved mysteries
of the sens. All the YcarJtounJ,
A Baltimore man who bought him
a fat m two or three years ago was
recently approached by iv man who
hud soiue money to invest, and who
"Can I buy a pretty fair farm for
"Yes, about that figure."
"And I'll want to lay out about
810,000 in improvements, I pre
sume?" "Yqs, fully that."
"And 1 can invest another 810,000,
in blooded stock?"
"I think you can."
"And Si.OUft more it grading,
filling up, creating fish ponds, and
so f 01 th'r"
"Well, yoitiinny get through with
"That's 84(,000; and now let's
figure the Income."
"Oh yott don't need pencil or
paper," said the victim, as a shadow
of sorrow darkened his face. "The
income will be about 80 for iut'nips,
82 for potatoes, 8o or 8' for conn
and a bulL calf or two at 83 a head,
To save time call it 825. I'll see
you again In a day or two. Maybe
I've foi gotten something which will
add a dollar more. Morning to
you." Wall Street JYciw. .
HOW MERCURY SALIVATES.
On Monday young Mr. Watson
stepped into a drug store at Dublin,
Ga., and asked for chlorate of potash
to use on the .mouth of his brother,
w ho he said, was salivated.
' ' How did it happen ?" we asked,
thinking it a good time to point a
moral that would put a check on
popular misapprehension nbout calo
mel and cold water.
"O," said, he, "he took .calomel
and without thinking put his hands
into cold water and, it salivated
"The cold water had nothing to,
do with it," we told him, and asked
if his brother bad eaten anyiiish.
" Yes," he replied. " he ate hearti
ly of fish after taking the calomel,
and ,1 suppose the fish caused the
calomel to salivate him."
"No, the fish had no more to do
with it than the cold water."
" What then?"
" It was the large quantity of salt
(chloride of sodium) on the fish,
combining chemically w'th the calo
mel (chloride of mercury) and
forming bi-chloride of mercury (cdVj
losiye sublimate). This corrosive
sublimate formed in the laboratory
of the stomach is what cUU tlic mis
chief. When you take calomel avoid
salt and bally food as you would the
most deadly poison. When sick
people eat salty food they arc apt to
drinlc water freely, and if salivated
they lay the blame on the water.
The only wonder about it is tlttit so
many escape with life. And for the
reason that all who take salt and
calomel in the stomach together are
not killed outiight, some scientific
;nen are doubtful as to the foregoing
Considering the prevalence of calomel-taking
in this community and
misapprehension of most people con
cerning the nature of his' potent
drug, we thought the above remarks
might not be inopportune. J4.c
cloinije. A CAMP MEETING ANECDOTE.
Ai incident of a camp meeting
life detailed by a clergyman on a
,1'nltimore teamhont, is thus re
ported: "An phi couple Juid con
siderately supplied themselves with
a bottle of pennyroyal oil with which
to Keep on the mosquitoes, They
extinguished their light and retired,
forgetting the antidote. The mos
quitoes were very bad, aud after
branding it its long as they could,
the old lady got up and got a well
filled ink bottle instead of the oil,
and gave the old gentleman a thiough
lubricating with the liquid, face,
,haud aud feet; she then anointed
herself in the biunc maimer. They
again essayed ,to court the drowsy
god, but could only get an .occasion
al nap, Finally the old lady got up
and,htnick a light. Giving a glance
at the bed she had just left, she lic
hcld to her honor a colored person,
she supposed, stretched in the place
of her bpouse. She quietly got the
poker and' beat the old gentleman
over the head before discovering her
mibtnke. Later on in the night we
found the, old couple on board tho
boat with'us, ho with his head neaily
as big as a bale of hny, aid sl(o
cjiring ,'fpr him with , the greatest
HAD A BETTER THING. ,
It was real funny to sec htm brace
upas ho turned the corner button
his threadbare black coat, adjust his
hat, shove a pincil ovct his enr, Mid
try so disguise Jltlmsclf. When .he
liad fixed himself he paRscd down tho
street, entered a saloon, and walk
ing straight up to the bar he asked i
" Is your name Blank?"
" I expect It Is," was tlic reply.
" John Blank?"
" Well the poys call me Shon."'
"Can I speak to you ill private,
" You can shpeak right ottdt here.'
Nobody is nroundt except my poy,
ulul he'donn' hear us."
"I thought it would be better to
sit down nt a table nncl'trilk over" our
glnsses of beer."
" I guess not. I can shtand oop
nnd hear all you say."
" Well, Mr. Blank, I have been
deputized to ask 3011 If yoti would
be a candidate fdr Mayor nckt
year. " '
" Yes. You nrc said to bo one of
tile most pupular men in Detroit.
You arc rich, ptipular, liberal, and
could be elected by n large major
ity." - '
The snlobnest lobked nVliihv'for a
long minute and then asked :
"'Arc you dry?"
"Never was so dry in my life1."
With a perfectly placid counte
nance Mr. Blank filled a " schooner"'
w ith water, placed It on the bar, and
looked the than sqiiare in the' eye, as
he said : " " '
" I vlins a totisand time obleegcd
to der poys, but I can't occept dot
"You can't? Don't you want to
be Mayor of Detroit?"
" No, my friendt. I haf some
times better ash dot I vasli going to
run for Governor next time! Come
in reac often and drink' to my
success." Detroit Free Presss.
CURING A PRACTICAL JOKER.
Vivier, the practical joker, having
two lioursj to spare, enters the eillce
of, 11 suburban doctor and vbows to
him with a gravity which isi only '
equaled by the ceremonious 1 courtesy
of the doctor'8,nnswering,bow. The
following conversation ensues :
iVivicr Doctor, I comcito you as
to a prince of science (the doctor
bows acquiescingly), or, if you
piefer it, as to , a, beacon light of
Doctor (modestly) Whichever
you prefer, sir.
Vivier Attracted hither by your
renown, I come to seek at your
hands that relief which I have vainly,
and at enormous expense, cdeavored
to obtain at the handsj of your most
eminent colleagues in the healing
Doctor I shall endeavor, sir, to
merit your flatteting confidence.
What is your disease?
' Vivier My disease? You mean
'my dibeases? I am afflicted with 'em
Vivier -Yes, doctor, I am a
sufferer from every disease known
to medical science, and a whole lot
Doctor Very well. And pray
which one would you desire me to
cure you of first?
Vivier Oh, doctor, I have no
choice that-is a matter of absolute
indifference to 1110.
' Doctor Well, then, M. Vivier,
suppose I begin by endeavoring to
cure you of your chronic mid, I fear,
incurable idiocy? - '
(Sothent used' to tell n similar
btory ab out himself. )
A STORY OF THE SEA, ,
1 i 1 1 ,1
The brigantiue jMoorburg
F'oocliow, in China, in October, 18,80,
for Melbourne, carrying, u crew- of,
four, exclusive of tho Captain ,
whose wife was witjinhlm and, the
Mate. During flic earlier part of ,
the yoyngc the crew fell alok, ,nml
one after tho other died. 'This, left
the entire management of. the sliip
to the Captain, the Mate, and the
Captain's wife. The heat was flights
fill, and, us , if there, were not
sufficient dilllculties ,already, a leak:
was sprung,; the mate ,,was( reducejj
to a, skeleton, alnmst jielplcs's, frpm ,
sickness; the Captain iyas wyejed
with soies and his legs "painfully
swollen. That cWaip's wife, 11
small, and by no , means, pljusj. ,
woman, kept her licaltk ; and ot,
only did .plus 'nurse- nllrthe s!pk!'pii'
board and Jook after her baby, but
she topl tlic wheel in tlic regular
watches and hid her slmrc of , the
beamcij's work besides. The'Cap
tain, in spite or his dreadful condi
tion, managed to let liim'self, over
board and stopped the 'leak ; and so,
at hift, after all her trpubles, tho , '
Moot-burg got into, Biisbanq half full '
)f water, with two sck men di Ward '
and a woman (it the Ijcjin. Mora
than tills, the irnllnnt. .wmnmi 'iiof
only brought, the ship into port, but
M-r baby to.AftM Yffouijili '