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SUPPLEMENT TO THE DAILY, BULLETIN.
HONOLULU, IL I., SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 1883.
A' DATS DREAM
OF POLYNESIAN HAWAII.
An Amicable Settlement ol tho Difficulty.'
We. nrc officially informed by the
hand and luiricl organ that Christ-1
mas and Pitcairn Islands have been
nnuexed to Hawaii. The advance
guard has already started ahead with
the 'Stalulaid to plant it on the
acquired territory, the -army will
assuredly follow as soon as the pre
sent navy can get a bullock team to
.tnke-hor place ifor towing purposes.
The army will doubtless be strength
ened, perhaps by the gang of nine
prisoners who, having completed
their job on School street, aie on
the look out for another.
But' top. Let us here mention
firsti that' preparations for annexa
tion nre'beirig made in -other parts
of this little globe. The Slogger
Indinns arc leady to nureh on New
York, the blacks h re , preparing to
invest Melbourne and Sydney in
spite of the British navy on that
station ; in Pitcairn Island are rumors
of insunection and bnglanu is -mentioned
as the point of their attack
when they throw off the yoke that
binds them to Hawaii. History but
repeats itself, for most of us have
heard of the invasion of Spain by
Don Quixote. It was a sad affair,
that of the windmills !
The Marshall Islands, Fijis, Santa
Cruz, New Hebrides, New Caledo
nia, the Solomons, Norfolk Islands,
the Navigators, are too far off or
too otherwise engaged by those
colonials or frenchmen. Danger
Island though nearer is too danger
ous, and there is only left Christmas
Island which is and will be eyer
loyal to Hawaii. Let us describe t.
At low tide it is fifteen feet above
the, sea level, at high tide it is baiely
visible for tides are high there and
so",tyill '.other matters be, at least
people' w ill think so when they read
on.fuither. The soil is lei tile, what
there' ia, of it, (of locks) so that
the new" settlers will experience no
difficulties for want of building
malei ials the house built on n rock
must- stand.' There is plenty of
water, tho island is surrounded ly
it. What nioie can be wanted but 1
a King and his loyal subjects, " a
simple and ignorant" people.
Let us picture them. King
G n, an absolute monarch,
with. ,no colleagues, with no trouble
some Boards and with no financial
troubles, for his own paper will float
freely, lie will be segregated there.
But not .alone, for .his ardent and
eager, admit era will follow him to the
ends of the earth ( wherever they
may be). ' The navy will consist of
the Madias, which will be detained
on her arrival, under Captain, then
Admirable Admiral B y and
Commodore M, 1 ; The army
will be placed under the charge of
Captain H y ; cane will be
cultivated freelyv for tho use of
Professor A n at the head of
the monarchical " Eddiokntionnl"
establishments - ably .assisted by
-1
Professor N
therewith Mr. T. G
the Gazctte,mt G
little double. B :
1 er. will also
K
Jrcs8
T
-y.
will be
m,
and the
1 ana
support the
monarch of the isle with their quills ;
the nolice force will be under Mar
shal P
-e ; Dr. It-
,B-
will
P
be 'the Roval .Physician,
- ... . i
the Danker will supply tne , neeaiui,
unfailingly ai-d(unsecuredly ; W r
will be wildvith delight and'run the
only island sienmer, ; Rev., J. A.
C- n will bci cruzin round at
the 'head 'Vf the 'Royal Chapel ;
Moreno will be the diplomatic agent ;
the water flow, its rise and fall, will
be controlled' by Mr. A d ;
Nolte will supply the inner man with
un-intoxieating moat and drink ;
Mel e will pilot them through
all' ( if' any )' troubles ; A s
will act as auctioneer ; the law will
lie fully and ably discussed by
D -e, 0 -e and li '11,
'yet 'whut need of lawyers nmoiig
such a happy 'community. And the
business houses, how rapidly will
the -passages die'taken up how'fille'd
with merchandiBe'will the steamer be ;
all will want to get there flrst'and curry
royal favor, D m and D' s,
H 11. S r. W se
ke
-rs
& C-
; all,
vessel
,
all
i
will
children and
successful accom-
piness, pure and unalloyed
like my last cigar, in smoke.
ends,
will iro. rush crowd ' the vessel to
basktin the 'shuuslr.ne of the happy
isle and in the smiles of G' -s
The'Gueat.'' 'The planters of cane
from Hawaii will leave' their crop's
at Ookala,' Hilca', Honokaa, Pahala,
"Honomu, Hakalau and Halawa
Kanan's manager from'1 Kauai
tear himself from wife,
friends to aid the
plishmont'of the -Annexation.
Who will. lie left? Who will re
main to fill the vacancies? Why the
teaming crowds of Chinese arc daily,
nay hourly, due, and are simple,
ignorant and' bland, , so that the' can
easily ( ?) be led into , Hawaiian
jruileless Governmental patlis. Who
a
the
right
ni
way:
will lead them in
Why Henchman II-
But what is this that disturbs me,
that 'rouses me from these happy
peaceful thoughts of bliss and never
ending happiness? I move no, ,it
cannot be, alas, alas, too true I
There is the wull-woru quill, there is
the ink-stained desk, there is the
writer's ciusc, that,boy? whose one
only question from mom till night is
-Copy?'" I am awake. It was but
a dream! and nil this .vision of hup-
THE TOUR OF THE WORLD. '
The views specified in the pro
gramme and supposed to be accom
panied by appropriate music were
well put on, tlie audience however
was left in doubt as to what they re
presented as the programmes could
not be read, the lights having been
turned down and' the descriptions
given by Mrs. Hastie in a low ,tone
of voice were entirely lost to those
not in her immediate vicinity.
Better management in the removal
of a view before the next one was
put on would have' deprived the au
dience of some very ludicrous pic
tures produced by the mingling of
comic views and statuary, one piece
of statuary showed a man with two
heads.
The inusjc under, the direction of
Prof. Yaindiev was very meagre nor
did he play an overture as was ad
vertised but instead Mr. Vredcuburg
gave some selections on the cornet
playing the accompaniment with the
left hand.
The fourth act of the Merchant of
Venice was too good for anything.
Mrs. Hastie had carefully otudied
her, part but lost several good points.
Of the gentlemen amateurs Shylock
was immense, being afraid of, recog
nition he kept his back to the au
dience thereby disclosing a black
beard, under his flowing white locks.
Ho had no conception whatever of
the reading of the play and could
never, even have seen the character
played anywhere.) 'His make-up was
bad and' he didn't attempt to act.
Antonio was a great .improvement on
the wretched Jew. ' Another perfor
mance' will be givenjioh Saturday
afternoon when 'the, chance of seeing
Shylock should not'be' missed " for
suyh an opportunity miy not occur
THE POCOPSON ERUPTION.
Vesuvius and.other old -established
volcanoes have at various times
thrown up a large variety of, interest
ing and improving minerals, but
there was an eruption in Pocopson,
Penn., the other day, of an cutiroly
novel description. It consisted of
kitchen utensils pans, pots, and
pails, together with axes, bones, a
complete stove, and a lemon-squeezer.
The eruption lasted only a few
minutes, and has not' been' renewed,
so that Pocopson was spared the
terrible fate of being buried out of
sight under unwashed frying pans
and Champion cooking, stoves.
The oircumstalices of this peculiar
freak of untutc were as follows: A
leading citizen of Pocopson was
working' in a stone, quarry, where he
had drilled anlcop hole. ., The hole
was , afterwards charged with gun
powder ,and the slow-match lighted.
According' to all precedent, tho re
sulting explosion should have filled
,the air and broken the neighboring
windows with , a shower of stones ;
but, to the unspeakable astonishment
of the leading citizen, nothing bnt
kitchen utensils, together with a lew
human bones, were throtyn up. It
should also be mentioned thatt no
windows were broken and that ho
utensils fe'l upon.the-heads of the
residents of Pocopson a feature
which alono'would have distinguished
the eruption from any ordinay blast.
From whence came the cooking
stove and the pots and bones ? Ob
viously they came from a depth
below the surface of tlje rock which
form's the P6cops6n 'quarry. The
"thickness of this rock from its origi
nal 'surface to the lowest point' to
which the drill penetrated is estimat-
edjto.be 87ft. 5in. Tho rock itself
is reported to be the common blue
limestone of the Alleghany region.
Blue limestone, in the opinion of the
most eminent geologists, is deposited
by nature at the rate of one inch in
every eight thousand seven hundred
ard forty years, which is even
slower than the rate at which an Irish
labourer deposits blue limestone
flaggings when paving a sidewalk
under- the instructions of a city
.contractor..'' The kitchen , utensils
.thrown up at Pocopson were there
fore,! nob less thani3,915,520 years
old, that being the period, which
must have elapsed since the lime
stone deposit began to cover them.
From these facts it is evident that
nearly four millions of years ago
cooking stoves aud all the furniture
thereunto appertaining were in use
by man. The .theory that the stone
age is the earliest period of the hu
man race must now be abandoned.
The Pocopson eruption shows us
that the cooking, stovej ago, preceded
the stone age 'by at leusj two million
years. The cooking stove age was
also contemporaneous with the axe
age, the water "pail age, and the
lemon squeezer age. 'Man at that
period was so far civilised that he
ate cooked food, drank punch, and
probably, compelled his wife to split
kindling wood. Thus the present
theory that man lived at first upon
law chicken! killed with stones'; that
he next formed the habit of eating
out of bronze vases, and that he did
not use iron in any shape until long
after the stone and bronze ages, is
utteriy overthrown. The cooking
stove age antedates the stone,
bronze, and iron ages, and, accord
ing to the testimony of the Pocopson
rocks, the cooking stove age is se
parated from us by the tremendous
chasm of 3,915,520 years.- It is to
be hoped that a second eruptiou will
