Newspaper Page Text
fc BY AUTHORITY. Uic morning were Uic first
H. ilny, but whellier Ihu day before pieces, disturbed the foundation of NT M H WMUd U I TU1 lUMMQWU 01 UUU&MMM WH B Hi B. V B W K B J
HI! $sF's. yesterday or the day after to-
V III HSSfrer ''VVn morrow no man knowclh, for the iitty; and they were much per-
BP W5 M Bclcnco of lorograpliy being unto plcxcd. , l- fiieafflSflll)ggF AKADiU.
K $sSdME Sy thom a mvftlnvv Hip vpnnnl of time
mfc , disappeared.
" Irrigation NotiCC. And Hie people fell down and i
Oi'ru-i: Watuu Works, )
Honolulu, 11. I., .Inly iTh 18S8.
Holders of water piivilegi-s or
tlioso paying water rates aie hereby
notified that the hours for using
water for irrigatinc pui poses are
from G to S o'clock a. m., and from
1 to 0 o'clock r. m.
CI IAS. 15. WILSOX,
Superintendent Water Works.
Approved: L. A. Tiiuuston,
Jlinislei of Inteiior.
BISHOP & Co., It AKKEKS
Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands.
Draw Exchange on the
Biiulc ol Ouliluruiu, ts$. IP.
And their agents l;i
NEW YORK, BOSTON, HONG KONG.
Messrs. N. M. liolhschild & Bun, London
The Commercial liank Co., of Syduey,
The Commercial Rank Co., of Sydney,
The Bank of Now Zealand: Auckland,
Christchurch, and Wellington,
The Bank of British Columbia, Vic
toria, B. C, and Portland, Or.
Transact a General Banking Business,
Pledged to neither Sect nor Party,
Sut established for the benefit of all.
SATURDAY, AUG. 2f, 18S8.
THE PARABLE OF THE CLOCKS.
(Translated hy Antistamus.")
The people inhabiting Boshmere
That is, the city known as mere
Bosh and the surrounding country,
were outwardly like unto other men ;
legs had they; arms as well ; heads
likewise, but no bouls. Albeit their
aforesaid heads, large like unto
pumpkins, and thicker than a three
inch plank, being of like formation,
were internally void, leaving there
by a hollow space for the reception
of great ideas, which accounts for
their superior intelligence, singular
aptitude for getting into hot water,
and an inclination to look carefully
at everything without opening their
Now, the great town clock by
which the time of the people of
Boshmere was regulated, was rather
antiquated, and did not keep the
best of hours, being sometimes too
fast and at others loo slow. This
clock was manufactured by an an
cient Caliph, and was culled-Consti-tution.
ft was the regulator of all
the small clocks of the realm.
Tt came to pass after a season that
a new Caliph arose, and during his
reign the people waxed proud in
their imagination, rebelled against
the old tune, and resolved to make a
new chronometer of their own. The
Caliph in great fear consented, say
ing, "Oh, stiff-necked and rebellious
people, anything that is to your
liking ; go regulate your own time
according to your own skill, and if
by the fluxions of foolishness you get
Sunday into Saturday, on your
heads be it!"
Then thirteen wise men of the peo
ple assembled themselves together
in a great multitude,down town, for
seven days,and in secret made agreat,
clock after their own fashion, which
they declared should be the model
after which the minor clocks of the
people should be constructed. And
the Caliph, to please the wise men
and the foolish people, proclaimed
this clock as the groat clock of
Boshmere. And while a few mal
contents shook their heads, the mul
titude were greatly pleased, and
shouted, "Glory to thee, oil, clock
of clocks 1 Let us sing to the praise
of the great pendulum, and ever
lasting tick, even for our beer and
And it came to pass shortly there
after that the wise men of the na
tion gathered together from the four
winds of heaven, in a great building
called Aliiolani Hale, to make clocks
for the people after the model set
up. These were untaught watch
makers, but withal were men full of
great words, uttered in great num
ber, and with great noise, devoid of
signification. And they began to
make watches in great haste, wheels,
springs, and balances, faces, hands,
and tfumbers, all put together in
marvelous haste and order, not very
Iiandsomo, but rippers to go ; and
the Members rejoiced over iheir
clocks, and the President saw that
it was good ami tho evening and
the morning were Uic first
day, but whether the day before
yesterday or the day after to
morrow no man knowclh, for the
Bcicnco of horography being unto
them a mystery the record of time
And the people fell down and
worshipped these clocks; "For,"
said they, "these are beautiful
specimens of island wisdom. If
they get adrift, a hummer and a nail,
or a piece of putty, will set them
going in no time."
Then there arose trouble in the
land; for Judda, the Chief Cook of
the Supromc kitchen, alon;r, with his
assistants, railed against the minor
clocks, declaiing that they were not
in timo with tnc great, ciock, nor
could they keep along with it. lie
lifted up his voice and said, "Woe
unto you, watchmakers 1 Twill, as
In duty bound, cook your dinner by
the Great Regulator, and if you pre
fer to eat it by your unconstitu
tional turnips, trumpery amateur
rubbish, your sou) shall be burnt,
your chops cinders, your Irish po
tatoes worthless Fenians, and your
goose, when cooked, illegally done
This angered the clock-makers
and the "backstairs" of the clock
shop, and they were exceeding
wrath with the cooks, and said with
one voice, "You have your wages,
and you must get our grub as ice
please, and by our time. Wc can
make our watches as wc think fit.
We arc "revolutionary" clock
makers, and we want "revolution
ary" cooks, and if you don't "rcvo
lute" we'll get a set of Chinese
cooks who will. Your days arc not
our days. You make noon at 12
o'clock, when the sun is on the
meridian. Whose dog is meridian ?
Let him perish as the son of a burnt
father! What do wc care for suns
or moons, or stars, or meridians, or
any such weak inventions? "We arc
reformers in clockology, and have
the light of great intellects, Maslial
lahb enough to set Pearl river on
fire, lie who wants more, by the
tomb of the Prophet, let him perish!
alikohn! humbug! liddlcdcdec!
Are we children, unable to make
clocks for ourselves? A lig for the
Great Regulator, it must be made to
go to suit our time-pieces. To Jer
icho with the fossilaled Coolcy chro
nometer! If we choose to make
noon at four o'clock, or morning at
midnight, or decree that this day
week shall be yesterday fortnight,
or put one year before the other, or
next Christmas on tlte top of Punch
bowl, then we say, that the difference
of climate and circumstances ren
ders it convenient and suitable for
us to do so; and wo have the right
to do it ; we arc supreme. By our
clocks the cooks shall prepare us a
And the excited multitude howled
with delight, and said, These arc
wise men! words flow from their lips
like water from a pump! Allah ac
bar! They have learning enough to
choke a horse ; let no dog bark at
Now, there were some among the
people, lookers-on in Boshmere, who
kept themselves cool, and they
smiled sarcastically and contemptu
ously; for they saw these unskilled
clock-muddlers were a caution to
cats, and were knocking all time
Great confusion and greater un
certainty arose, which contributed
greatly to the happiness of the
clock-makers and their disciples,
but was the cause of remarkable oc
currences and inconvenient mis
takes. The usual conditions of life
became oddly complicated. Many
were married at the wrong hour, so
that no man had a wife he could
lcjinlly call his own ; children were
horn out of season, and lost their
nativity ; men arose for daily busi
ness, and found it was yesterday;
no man knew his own ago, ladies es
pecially lost count of time, and were
perpetually getting had; into 8;
such as had no 11101103' l0 Pa3' w01'
ofttimes ninny months after dale,
and gave tlmnlcs to Allah and the
clock-makers ; whereas tho hankers
blasphemed, and wero licavih lined
for bad tulle at the street corners.
Friends met; one said "tho day is
Hue;" the other admired the beauty
of tho night. The same gazed
gloomily at each other, looked at
their watches and retired, one to his
breakfast, tho other to bed. The
morning papers said, ".Smith was
buried yesterday with great pomp,
Tliis respected gentleman, very
much known to us all, died eighteen
months ago, but his watch being
that much out, lie overlooked the
Then the clock-junkers began to
sec how llioyhnd knocked time all to
pieces, disturbed the foundation of
ages, and very nearly capsized otcr
ntty; and they were much per
plexed. So the cooks of the Supreme
kitchen, all of whom had learnt the
art of clockinaking in their youth,
looked into the Boshmere dials, but
could make nothing of them. Then
they stood up in great dignity, and
vaid, "Drat these miserable imple
ments ! They are a puzzle to mon
keys; there is not their equal in
all the laud. It might not be ad
vantageous to wind them up with a
crowbar, or hammer them with
stones to consolidate the works.
They will never keep time with the
Groat Regulator of Boshmere.
Therefore be it resolved that they
be smashed into ten thousand
pieces;" and smashed they were.
So much for employing unskilled
workmen, who are bound to make
time-pieces at which the dogs of
Bagdad bark, and the pigs seeing
them, run violently down a steep
place into the sea, and spoil the
Eihtou Bt'i.MCTix: The "Adver
tiser" shows its independence of the
party whip when that instrument
tends to political dishonesty and
corruption, by its comments in yes
terday's issue upon the speech of
the Minister of Interior to throw
overboard the Civil Service Bill. It
is time, as the "Advertiser" says,
that that Minister's strenuous oppo
sition to Civil Service Reform indi
cated that such a law would necessi
tate immediate removals from his
own department. But this apparent
motive is backed by more than sus
picion or inference. It is a noto
rious fact that the Minister's cry
befo're the Revolution was, "Turn
the rascals out." What has he
since done? Simply kept among
others, some of the Gibson "lambs"
he himself had previously branded
from his place on the floor of Parlia
ment, as thieves and conspirators.
The difference between Mr. Gibson
and Mr. Thurston seems only to be
this: that the former Inade no loud
profession of "Reform." Oh! much
abused word! No wonder this mod
ern professional "Reformer" strove
hard to burke the Civil Service Bill.
Mr. Frank M. Clark, who, with
his All-Star Company, gave several
performances at the Opera House
here, about a year ago, was a
through passenger by the S. S.
Mariposa, this morning. Mr. 'Clark
goes to New Yoik for another com
pany and will bring them out for
the Colonies, stopping several days
at Honolulu and giving a number of
entertainments. Mr. Claik has not
decided of what specialty this new
company bhall be. They will all be
stars, however, whether they be tra
gedians, comedians, comic opera
singers, or a variety troop. Mr.
Claik also expect a troup from
London to shortly follow his New
York company, and he will have
them also stop for a while at this
I7XTKA Fine Cream Pics every Satur
2i day at the "Elite." XI 4t
SATU RDAY is to day and the finest
Oieain l'ies can bo had fresh nt the
DLTHING my nbsence from tho King.
(loin the Hon. W. F. Allen will
net foi me under a full power of attor
ney In all private matters, and also in
all estates in which I nm nsign'o or
ngcnl. -W. C. RAXIKK.
Honolulu, Augut 2.ri, 1838. 20 2m
CUSTOMERS having our Koda Water
or Lemonade Bottles (empty) on
Imiiil will greatly oblige by notifying
us by telephone or otherwise, and they
will at once be vent for. Bottles lotninul
longer than one month will be chaigcd
for. Telephones: Bell. X72; Mutual, UbO.
J. E. BROWN A CO.,
Pioprietora, Tahiti Leiuounde Works.
DURING my absence fiom tills King
dom my In oilier Maicus R. Col.
hum will act for 1110 in nil mailers of
business under full power ol attorney.
JOHN F. COLRURN.
Honolulu, Aug. 'M, IbSi. 27 -It
AN adjourned annual meeting of the
ttockholdcisot ihcOiowalu Sugar
Company will bo held .on WEDNES
DAY, August 2Dtli, al II a. m at the
olllco of Motsis G. V. hwln it Co.
O. O. BERGEU,
27 Id Secretary.
IN VARIED SIZES & DESIGN.
Just opened at
Lewers & Cooke's,
TF YOU WANT A SITUATION
X. advertibo in tho Daily Bulletin.
Sails for the Volcano on
Btilonday, Aug. 27th,
At 1 o'clock v. m.
WILDER'S STEAMSHIP CO.
ltiTeivfd ex S. S. Aiislinlia u full
HATS HOP ALE.
Hiiy'N Aerated Hop' Ale (Non
Intoxicating) William liny, Hull.
"This la an excellent Kon-Alcnhollc
Keverngc, which probibly approaches
as near to Uccr as is iiobsiblu, withou
thu presence of alcohol. Our analysis
showed the presence of tho bitter prin
ciple of the Hop hi perfect solution."
"It U a nearer approach to Bass's or
Allsopp's Ale than any non-intoxicants
preceding it. Has the Hop Taste of
Ultter Boer, and is a pleasant nppulisinx
drink." Eastern Morning Newfc.
"Sir. Hay's experiments on ilopb lmvu
resulted in the pioiliiclimi ot'u beautiful
essence, which deserves to rank as quile
n phaimuccuticnl Iriumph. ll mixes
peifcctl' with water, and lias a line Hop
Aroma. Hop Ale made Irom this
essence has, with the Hop Flaor, nil
the blight appearance ol Champagne.
It fioths icmnrkably, isa ciy ajiroeable
drink, and suitable cither lor summer
or winter." The Oheuiht & Diuggist.
"A beautiful essence, lias a line Hop
Aroma, and is quile a pliaimaccutical
triumph " The Chemist is Diuggist.
"llay'.s Hop Ale. This is an ex.
cellent non-alcoholic beverage " The
"Has the Hop Taste of Hitler Beer,
and is a nearer npproacli to Pass or
Allsopp's Ale than any non-intoxicants
pieceding it." Eastern Morning News.
J. E.BROWN & GO.,
28J 28 Mci chant Street. 2w
L oad Notice.
IROM Jtomlay, August 27th, King
J slieet between tho Prison ltond
and Liliha street, will be closed to traffic
till further notice.
H. F. IIEBBAKD,
28 3t Ho.ul Supervisor.
JT intelligent Bo', lcsiding with his
patents. Inquire at
ELITE ICE CttBASl PAHLORS.
A NURSE GIRL for a fnndly rcsid
ing at Wnialua. Apply to
J. E. BROWN & CO.,
27 8t Merchant street.
FOR SALE or LET
THE House and Lot on
Bcretitniit stiect next to
Mr. John Ena's on the west;
large lot runs from I5eretinia to Young
street. House contains pailoi, dining
room, three large bcdiooin-, Mtclun
bath-room and out-li'iusis Inquire of
91 tf AV. C. WILDER.
BRICK STORE on Nuuanu
street, lilted with shelv
ing, counters, etc., next to
Nowlein's corner. Kent very moderate.
Apply to J. E. BROWN & CO.,
25 tf 28 Merchant street.
rpiIE Beautiful Suburban
X Hesielenco, formerly oc.
cupied by N. F. Burgess, is
offered for fale. Lot 100x153. For fur
thcr particulars apply to
G. W, BURGESS,
20 2w At Benson, Smith & Co.
aIIAT Property on Fort
street known os the
''Gymnasium Premises" are
otfered for salo on reasonable
terms. Apply to
G. W. BURGESS,
At Benson, Sinltl.1 is Co.
NK line Milch Cow,
price. $125. Apply
at tho Bulletin OWce,
J PIGS. Inquire of
At Oahu College.
Photographic View Albums.
Just tho thing for collectors of
A complete assortment
direct fiom Now
Sizes & Prices.
Intended purchasers will do well to
examine this lino boforo piirclmBing
elbcwhere Blzes from Uj.j' by A to
10?( by IUJ4. Kor Bale only by the
Hawaiian News Co.
Of tho Ucoidontnl & Oriental Steamship
Co. will sail for the above
ports on or about
August 27, 1888.
jSyi-'or Fielght or Passngo apply to
II. IIACKFELD & CO.,
2a tf Agents.
For San Francisco !
The New and Fine American
Brktiie S. G. Wiiaer
A. H. Paul.
Will sail for tho above port on or about
tSTCubln accommodations supriior.
For Heights or passage apply to
F. A. SCHAEFER & CO..
215 tf Agents.
FOR SAN FRANCISCO,
The AX Steamship
Will have Honolulu for the above
Tuesday, Aug. 28,
For Freight or Passage, apply to
WM. G. IRWIN & CO., Agents,
as Xw .
Two Large Refrigerators, con
tuning Grapes, Pears,
JEtc, Etc., Etc.
CALIFORNIA FRUIT MARKET
IinK street, Honolulu, t
MR. A. M. HEWETT,
Stationer & Newsdealer,
Purposes leaving for tiic Coast in
October prior to which lie
oilers the whole of his
Handsomely Assorted. Stock !
for Cash !
Do not be alarmed that you will not bo
able to puicluusu in Honolulu a Hand
pome Christmas Present as in San
FranoUcn for Mr. Hewctt U going to
select such 11 slock as will suit the most
fabtideous and surprise our little city.
BSyAll parties now indebted lo him
nre respectfully requested to mnke
immediate Fettfemcnt. 19 2m
(THK ONLY HKLUULE 11LOOD rUJUl'IEll.)
A "SSiicciilc for
Mrrofiiln, Halt Itlicum,
Neuralgia, Itlnir AVorni,
And all other Skin & Blood Diseases.
It Regulates the
Liver &c DKidiieys
Cures Indigestion, and all Diseases
arising from an enfeebled con-
dition of the system.
Dr. Marline, of London, the celebrated
specialist, says of PARDEE'S REMEDY:
"I havo used it for twenty years for
Blood Diseases, eucUiih Bcrof ular, Ball
liUeiim, Tetter and Cancer, and I cannot
recommend it loo highly."
The Hev. Dr. Tlwmup, of Hone Kong,
China, bays: -'PARDEE'S REMEDY in a
wonderful medicine for the blood. I
have prescribed ll hundreds of limes for
leprosy, and, when given in time It
always cured the patient I can bufely
say that leprosy will nevei break out on
persons who lake PARDEE'S REMEDY
regularly, and I advise all pcrtous liv
ing in countiich where lemory U pre
valent to luko PARDEE'S REMEDY as a
Coy-For Sale by all Druggists in Honolulu.
MUHIO fuiiilbhed for baljf, pintles
and bcreuudes by l'almers Suing
Hand. Orders lull at O. K. Wllllmiib",
or rlug up Mutual Telephone 30. 74 tf
jiiiiii, iliiiiiiidii!: Liiimi, Caiitoiaiel lA Flannelette.
jCtirSomctliiiig New and Suitable for this Ulinuite.jQ?
On Account of mmm
GENUINE CLEARANCE SALE,
Plush Sets, Ladies' Work Baskets,
In Plush ifc Leather; Bisque, Glass & Parian "Ware, Opera &
Murine Glasses, Telescopes,
IMJusiG Boxes,Toy8, Jt3oolcL.lliani!9
And other things too nunii'ious lo mention. All the above
Goods will be od'eied at tho
LOWEST PRICES EVER QUOTED IN THE KINGDOM.
'The above Goods arc Now,
been imported ox recent arrivals and
KS OJP3E3N iJEIEIirOS a
W. H. GRAENHALGH,
1 0 Vovi Hli-ool,
esj' ctwi 1 11 j ml. m 1
EST" BARGAINS -8 New Line of jjQF" BARGAINS -J
Lamps, Chandeliers & Lanterns,
At Lower Prices than ever before. New invoice of
SHELF-HAEDWME, PLOWS k Gil IERCIA1ISE.
NoyeltieH ttnd iruuoy Oooilw, In LarRC Vtix-itsty.
Portland Cement !
"While Bros' Cemuni (full weigh').
At lowest nru hi t itile.
G. W. MACFARLANE & CO.
Practical Watchmaker & Repairer.
Good work guaranteed. At present
located at S. Roth's tailor shop.
Tho undersigned calls tho attention of
the public to
New Lines of G-oods
Just received ex late arrivals,
Hawaiian, American & English Flags,
II 11 mo Ball UooiIn, A'ovvIm,
Bound Story Books
Plirase Ml k Diction?.
A complete lino of
Plain and Fancy Stationery i
Together with everyihini: to bo found in
a well-appointed htutionery ttoie.
C-INSPECTION IS INVITED-Yjia
A. M. HEWETT
Mil. J. M. Cumura, .Tr., is authorized
to collect for our account. Bjie.
ciul attention given to Portuguese out.
J. K. HHOWX & CO.,
75 tf 28 AlerohHiitfeticct.
I F. YOUTJND ANYTHING
X. tulvertlEo it iu the Paily Bulltim,
28 - 88 I in
Fresh and of tho Latest Design, havinc
wcic selected expressly for the tradu.
; Corrugated Roofing !
Best brands, in (f, 7, 8 'and 0 ft. lengths.
In quaniiiies to suit at lowest market
G. W. MACFARLANE & CO.
V. G. FACERROOS,
l'rnctlcnl Watchmaker A; Jeweler,
Has removed to
Late Wm. Turner's Shop, 80 King St.
BSfSatisfaction guaranteed or money
rcluuded. 21 2m
14 Hotel, corner Fort Street,
L. S. BEMHETT, - - Principal.
In all its blanches.
' tSTFor particulars address
Mrs. L. S. Bennett,
74 Hotel St , or Grocnhalgh's Hook,
store, 10(5 Fort St.
Mutual, 282-iuTELEPHONEfliaV-Bcll, 30
I 00 tf
Host Crown Urand.
6, 7, 8, and 9 Feet LengthB
Just landed Ex. Ship "Cockcrmouth"
For Sale in Quantities to Suit.
Also, COO Ilbls. Whito Ilros.'
At tlie Lowest Market Rates,
WILDER & CO.
Biiil l .Jd&
. ,- kJLifek ,
J6 I f
r-A J&gii .
.- ;..., it. .. ,,