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EVENING BULLETIN, JULY 23, 189G.
CUTTING FREDDY'S HAIR.
Juniper Thought It nn limy Tank, but Ho
Wa In Error.
"I wish, my denr," wild Mrs. .Tuulpor
to lior husband at tho broakfnst tnblo,
"thnt you wouM tnku Krmlily down to
your bnrbornnillmvo tlio olilld'slmlr cut."
"Nonsonsol" was Juulpor's illscourto
"Why 'nonsono?' "
"Bccauso I can out It myself and navo a
quortor," replied Mr. Juniper. "Why don't
you out tho child's lmlrf My mothur al
ways out my hair until I wnn grown."
"I don't caro If shodld," paid Mrs.
Juniper scrouoly, "your plionomonal moth
or dldn groat ninny things thnt I never ex
pect to do. I novor out any ono's linlr nnd
I don't Intend to befjln now Freddy
wouldn't let mo If I trlod I"
"llu wouldn't lot our"
"No, nnd ho won't let you cither."
"Oh, won't hof" dorlsUoly. "I think I
leo mycolf defied nnd defeated by a 4-yoar-old
boy I I'll lmo that linlr cut as neatly
ni any barber could cut It boforo thnt boy
Is an hour older." And Juniper begun nt
once to innlco his word good.
"Como, Freddy, boy," ho Mild cnjolltij;
ly. "Shall pnnn cut Freddy's hnlrf Yes,
Juniper clicked hU shears iim ho spoko
nnd Freddy shouk his tanyltd head defiant-
"Pnpn's boy mustn't bo nntifthty," paid
Juniper, clinslnp; nfter tho Hieing boy,
ditching him andpluiikluu; hint down linrcl
Into n chair. Mr I. Juniper wis not In thu
room; cho wns hidden behind a half open
door, wntchtiift proceedings, nnd this Is
what hIio heard:
"Won't papa's boy lot pnpn keep still t
I'npn will buy Freddy a If you don't keep
Hill, pnpn will hao to whip I Dim't 1'ieil
dy want tho naughty long linlr pit still,
I toll you I Now don't you budgoor keep
still, 1 snyl Stop squirming around Hko
nn eoll Now you hold up your head, I tell
you I Won't Freddy bo utut and have Iii9
pltty hair gront Ctosnrl You nuulo mu
come within nn Inch of gouging your eye
Freddy yell", nnd Juniper continues:
"Keep Ft!!! there! Hold up your Fred
erick Junius Juniper, nro you going to
mind muf l'o bet out to out your linlr,
nnd I'll do it or I'll Jerusalem! Here,
Mnudy, como qutekl Get n pan of water
and n rag! I'o out his cur half off, I
guess, and I don't euro if I liavo! Kept
twisting nnd squirming nnd wriggling
llko nn angleworm every second! Mop up
this blood, nnd when Iio'h duno bleeding
put on his things and I'll tako him to a
barber and han lils hair cut If I litivo to
put him Into a strnltjackct I" Detroit
fiomwwlmt of n I.tnr Illmaolf.
Chairman of Committee on Farmers'
Jubilee Wo want n balloonist that can go
right through tho clouds.
Aoronaut Well, I guess I can satisfy
you. Why, look hero! A lot of Kansas
formers liavo been having had luck with
their wheat crops, nnd I liino lukuii tho
contract to go up this sunimir nnd rear
range tlio signs of tho yodlao for them.
I've got a chunk of cuncentr.iteil sunlight
thnt I brought ilow n from jii'-t soutlnsext
of tho big dipper thnt I'd llko to show
you. But tho Inst tlnio I went up I hud
my strangest experience
"What wus It? LnshO n cometf"
"No. You kir, I got fconiLu lint tangled
up among tho cowpaths in tho milky wny,
and when I Anally found out which way
tho earth was It had revohed about half
way mound, nnd I hml to just hoof my
parschuto in my zenith nnd hang there
till old Now Jersey rolled in sight again."
A Now Experience
Mr. lllram Duly lias tho new
nindo ui) her mind to stay?
Mrs. Illram Daly I think so.
Mr. Illram Daly Then dUclmrgo her nt
Mm. Illrum Daly Discharge her! What
Mr. Illram D.ily Wo'vo novor had n
chnnca of discharging one yet. I wnut to
teo how It feuls. Now York Ilorald.
"You'vo been going to sco lior threo
years nnd don't ilaro to call lior by her flrr.
utiuio? Wull, you nro wustlug your tlinu.
You'ro courting thu wrong girl."
"No, slut's tho right girl. I'm afraid tho
' trouble is thnt I'm tho wrong num."
Dropped tho Subject.
"Stop on tho trap, plcaso," said tho
sheriff to tho condemned murderer. "No,
I'll bo hanged if I do, "ho replied stoically.
Tho sheriff oxplalncd tho mattor to him,
nnd then both ho nnd tho btibject wero
dropped. West Union Giuotto.
Tho Now limirder.
Profossor Snooks Madame, Iofuso to
sleep in that bed again.
Landlady What's tho matter with ltf
Professor (stlllly) You socio to forget,
mndmno, thnt I nm a botanist, not an
entomologist. Town Topics.
' "Whon I loso any llttlo thing llko thnt,
I know whore to look for it."
"Yon; it's nearly nlways in baby's
mouth I" Chicago llcoanl.
A Call Dawn.
Chlok (as the shell breaks) Honrnyl
llooster Yea, young man, jnu nro, but
your mother duitu't know H. Now York
limtvuctlmi of Youth.
Bobby Paw, what is n burst of (onfl
dencuf Mr. Wnl Into .Going broke on n tip, I
guess. Cincinnati Cumber.
Took It All.
Pbjslolnu Did yoiitukotlioiiinii'b tum
pornture!1 Student I guoss I did. I put Mm on
loo. Now York World.
To tlmilrerlnff with Tlirnat, I,nnir or Witting IMwim
Woumtli Catarrh, Scrofula, Aflliinn. or hcrim JieMI
Ity, ilc ulil to iriien a luiiiiiitn lioilln of lilt, (.nit
1IN'3 t'Jtnt'OMTK KMir,SION fi r trial. ( nil t
Kcrm.f Jim, .. t Ir ( imli In, Jl, I. ''J(i
tur "'itu.il m 1'kl-de.b' at, Miik or Horn. v.
Madoand Merit Maintains tho confidenco
ot tho pcoplo in Hood's Sarsaparllla. If n
mcdlcino cures you whon you are sick; if
It cures your neighbors and your trlonds
,when they aro ailing; If It makes wonder
ful cures ot many diseases ovorywhere,
then beyond any question that mcdlcino
possesses merit. That is Just tho truth
about Hood's Sarsaparllla. Prepared by
n combination, proportion and process un
known to other medicines, It has curatlvo
powers peculiar to itself. Wo know it
possesses great merit bccauso It has
Cures, not onco or twlco or a hundred
times, but in thousands nnd thousands
of cases. Wo know it cures, absolutely,
permanently cures, when nil others fall to
do nny good whatever.
Hood's Sarsaparllla is known to possess
merit or tho power to curodlscaso; it is
known to be tho best building-up mcdlcino
on earth; it is known to bo honestly adver
tised, nnd for theso reasons tho pcoplo
buy and tako Hood's Sarsaparllla almost
to tho exclusion of other preparations.
In fact, Merit Mado and Merit Maintains
tho confidenco of tho pcoplo in
Tho One True Tllooil Purifier. All druggists. $1.
i i nn cur "vcr '"3; cri'y t0
liOOU S FlllS take, easy to operate, a.
Hobron Drug Co., Agents.
A Short Distance- from tho Bridge,
Tourists aud others will find it to tlioir
ndvnutngo to visit tho abovo resort, ns
they will iiiict with every accommodation
that comfort requires.
Situated on n Beautiful Hillsido 0erlook
ing tho Ocean, and 1300 feet
nbevo Sen Lovel.
Only 21 honrV snil from Honolulu.
CJimi'te mild, e'enr dry atmosphere, freo
from fogs and mnlnrin, especial pro ision
for quiet nnd p'st as well ns for ninnse
uiout and outdoor life,
try A I id reps
Vl. H. A. LINDLEY, Piop.,
325 tf Koun, Hawaii.
G. R. Harrison,
Practical Piano Maker and Tuner,
Can Furnish tho Best
Office, Tort street, opposite Cothollo School.
Telephone 231, 412 and 100.
fi Orders promptly attended to.
Wm. O. InwiM,
FROM SG.00 UP.
. P. RODRIGDES,
Fort Street, opposlto Unckfcld's.
A Now Lot o Nico Goods Jnst
Eecoived. Cleamng nud lie
PYou Want Them to Q
Fit. . . . O
In this hot climate ill-fitting
clothing not only looks sloven
ly but is uucomfortablo to wear.
In order to ensure haudsomo
and comfortablo suits, tho qual
ity and make o which aro
guaranteed, call around at
Medeiros & Decker's
and you'll get what you want.
tlHJl F I J ith.
sf i y k
M 1 J I S
Telephone Gil. P. O. Box 298.
J. M. DOWSETT
Hartford Fire Insurance Company, Hartford, Conn.
Assets, $9,229,213.09. Income, $7,000,103.08.
London & Lancashire Fire Insurance Company, (U. S.
'Branch), Liverpool, England.
Assets, $2,700,570. Iueom, Sl,8f9,O0C.
Talatine Insurance Company, (U. S. 'Branch), (Manches
AbetB, 2,830,230.28. Incomo, $3,(Mf.oat.00.
Jfuy Insures FiiBt-clnts Merrnntilo nnd Manufncturiii IUVs nnd Dwelling Pro
perty in the nl)oe vclMiiiowu CompuuleB on the most fimnnb.o teims.
J livdZ- IDo-rsett,
&oxt Street, - - - - Tel. W
BOARDING, -:- SALE -:- AND -:- LIVERY.
San Francbco Agenlt fun Nevada Bank op
llIlAtT EXCIIANOE ON
San Fkancisco Tho NcMida Hank of San
London Tho Union Dank of London. Ltd.
New York American Exchnngo National
CmoAno Xtcrchnntf National Dank.
I'aihs Comptolr Nnlional d'Eicompt dc
RniiLiN Drodner Bank.
IIONOKONO AND YOKOHAMA Ilonjlkong &
Shanghai Bnnklnc Corporation,
New Ze vland and Austiiam a Uanl: of New
Vjctoiha and Vancoutek Bank ol Mont
Transact a General Banking and Exchange Bnslness
Term and Ordinary Dcpnlts Uccclved.
Lonns made on Ajiproved Stcuilty. Com
mercial nnd Travelers Ciedlts Issued. Hills
of Exclinnpo bought ntul bold.
Collections 1'iiouitlt Accounted Fon.
p. o. JOKES.
E. A. JONES
HAVE FOR SALE
A Few Sbnrca of
Paia Sugar Stock,
Ilawaiiau Sugar Co. Stock.
Hawaiian Government and 1st
Mortgage Sugar Planta
ESSP For particulars npply to
Tho Hawaiian Snfo Deposit &
08 Fort Street
SISE3:02P cfc Co.
Transact a General Banking
and Exchange Business.
Commercial and Traveler'?
Letters of Credit issued, avail
able in all tho principal cities
of the world.
" Ono of tho divincst benefits that lins ever cCnio to tho
human race." Thomas Carlylc.
Smokers' ' Articles.
Wo import from tho Priuci-
pal Fnctcries of tho World.
Fine Ci gars a (Specialty
HOLLISTER & CO.,
Comer Fort and Merchant Sts. "Wliolesnlo nnd Bctnil.
i u & tjilby
Special Sale of Pence Wire at
Exceptional Low Rates !
Galvanized Fence Wire, Jros. 4 5 "rf 6.
Annealed and Tarnished do, Jros. 4 & U7ll 6
Bar!) Wire, 4 points, 7 inches apart.
yg For terms, apply to
any permanent relief until 1 used Paine s Celery
Compound which COniylelCl)' CUrCii U1C.
Ihvisf J &fiU
MRS. L. A. BRENTNEil.
Mrs, Brentner Completely Prostrated
Every Month with Nervous
I-I-ABISTESS --:-- .AJSTD --:-- SADDLE
-WE HAVE THE-
FINEST DRIVING HORSES
Tlio best of nttetition riven to nnitnnls Inf t with ns. Cfireuil drivers, rospectful
(ittondnuts, protnitu.'b8. ;il.cks, Snnies, Ilrakos. Bugoios.rUuotous, Wogoucttos.
Heafi-feii Praise forth9 Medicine
That Cured tier.
Thousands of women arc today blessing
Paine' h Celery Compound for the gicat good it
has done them, and t-coics have written letters
similar to that of Mrs.. L. A. Brentner.
San Jacinto, Cal.
Dear Sirs: I have suffered severely with
nervous sick headaches, with which I was
troubled every month. The pain was so severe
that it completely prostrated me and it
seemed to me that I should go crazy. I had
tried all kinds of remedies without obtaining
lit - 1 'h
J. M. BUCHNER.
Mates People Well!
Why suffer longer with liver nnd stomach
trouble? Pu ne'r, wolory Compound will mako
you well. Read how it cured Mr. J. M.
Kkttle Falls, Wash., Dec. 9, 1S94.
Gcntlchicn; I have taken only two bottles
of Paint's Coiery Compound for rheumatism,
and liver and btomuch tioubles, and will bo
frank in saying that I am well pleased with, the
results. I used one bottle aud was SO much
better that I abandoned its use for a
time, but my old stomach trouble made its ap
pearance again. I procured another bottle in
September and after using that I felt well.
"Wholesale Agents for the Hawaiian Islands
N&u-j$i tt.4fa ','!