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THE EVENING BULLETIN: HONOLULU, H. I., NOVEMBER 11, 1899.
Mr. Dooley Talk
"It took like war," aald Mr. Hon
Bcw, who had been glancing at the,
flninliM iisadllneij of an evening paper
Dcr M . Dooley 'a shoulder.
"It uiWios does," said Mr. Dooley.
"Sluic the Czar of Rooshla Inthratlooc
ed 1 ... uj-Hglit rlsolutlon, thcy'go been
Bo cU.:..h1 that they wudden't be rue-
-Ail' what's It all about?" demanded
id. ifsunessey. "I can't make head
Bor till lv It at all, at all."
"Will, ye see 'tis this way," said Mr.
Dooley. "Ye see th Doers U a simple,
Banthial people that goes about their
AuslncBS In their own way, raisin' hell
With Ivrybody. Thoy was bor-rn with
mi aversion to society an' whin th'
Enctlnh kept comln' an' the Boers kept
taovln' till they cuddn't movo anny
(utthcr without bumpln' into Kltch
Bni'i's nr-rmy nn' thin thoy settled
down an' nays thoy, 'This far shall we
Bo,' si3 thoy, beln' a rclljlous people,
'en' tlltvlo th' sthep further. An' they
kl.lid off tho lrrclljous naygurs an'
tarted In f'r to raise cattle. An' at
lidit they'd set outside It their dorps,
sliich, Hlnnlssy, Is Dutch f'r two-story
Bnck houao an' lot, an' sip their la
gir an' swap horses an' match texts
Jr'm th' DIble f'r th' seegars, while th'
ChltdliPi played marbles with dlmona
nz h'.? r.s th' end lv ye'er thumb.
"Well, th' English heerd they was
foold bo tho bucket In lvry cellar fr'm
oojicncoff to Dooxledorf, which, Hln
isay, Is like Now York an' San Fran
tluco, beln' th' exthremo pints In th'
ounthry, an they come on in gr-rcat
korilcs, sturdy Anglo-Saxons fr'm Sax
soy, th' Elngteins an' Heldlebucks an'
iWenicis, nu' whin they'd took out
(oolri snougb so's thoy needed raycrea
tlon thoy wanted to vote. 'An' says Joe
Chamberlain, he says, 'Be hlvlns, they
stall vote,' lie says. 'Is It,' ho .says,
posalblo that at this stage lv th'
world A progress,' he says, 'an' English
(lntluinun shud bo denied,' ho says,
th' right to dhrop off a thraln anny
wheri: In th' clvlllzd wurruld an' cast
his lmpeuryal voto?' ho says. 'Give
thlm th franchise,' ho says, 'or bo this
An' bo that!' ho says, 'f'r we have put
our hand to th' plow,' ho says, 'an' wo
Will not turn back,' ho says.
"Kruger, that's tho main guy lv th'
Dutch, a line man, Hlnlssy, that looks
like Casey's goat an' has manny lv th'
ut peculiarities,' he says. 'AH r
rlght,' ho says, 'I'll glvo thlm th' fran
cUe,' ho says. 'Whin?' says Joe Cham
berlain. 'In mo will,' says Kruger.
'Whin I die,' he says, 'an' I hope to be
a hund fired If 1 keep on amokn' befuro
Breakfast,' he sas. 'I'll bequeath to
me frlnds, th' English, or such Ir thlm
us was here befure' I camo, th' Inalien
able a:t' sacred right to domand fr'm
me suzilssor th' prlvclego iv ellctln'
aa aldhcrman,' ho says. 'But,' ho says,
'In th' manctlme,' ho says, 'wo'll lave
things th' way they arc,' ho says. 'I'm
old,' ht .-.ays, 'an' not good-lookln',' ho
says, 'un' too clothes don't fit an' they
may bo marks of food on me vest,' he
art, 'hut I'm not more thin half crazy
on' nnny tlmo yo find mo glvln' any
wan a clianat to voto mo Into a Job
drhivln' s. nnilo an' nut In an English
prlsldlnt lv this ray-public,' ho says,
yo may con-cludc that ycr Uncle Paul
needs n guurjeen, ho soys.
" 'Far bo It fr'm mo to suggest anny
hut peaceful measures,' says Sir Alfred
Mllnei that's th' lad they havo down
la Africa, th' Injun agent, 'fr th' Eng
lish aii Dutch should wurruk together
Uko brothers f'r th' removal lv th' nay
gur peculation,' ho says, 'but,' ho says,
'as a brother 1 politely" sugest to yo
that It yo don't glvo us what wo want
wo'll Land yo n fratornal punch,' ho
nays. 'F'r,' ho saya'wo havo put our
hand t ., th' plow,' ho says, 'an' wo can
not tu n back,' ho says.
" 'What Sir Alfred Mllncr says is
thruc, says Lord Selborno, an' what
th' dl .lo ho has to to about It I din
naw. 'Th' situation Is such,' ho says,
'as to !n Intol'rabln to a sllf-raysplqtin'
EngliE inian,' ho says. 'What a crlmo,',
he says, 'that th' men who nr-ro tnkln'
most 1 tli' money out.lv th' counthry
shud tint bo allowed to stick In nnny
lv th' votes,' 4o says. 'Wo havo, as
Shake ?;.,earo says, put our hand to th'
plow,' Lo says 'an' wo canot turn back,'
ho sayu. 'I ngrco corjally with th'
nobln ' id on th' r-red loungo nbaft
me,' nvi Lord Salisbury. 'With th'
cchoc cf mo own noble slntlmlnts on
th pc. i proclamation iv mo good
frlnd, 't' Czar of Rooshla, still niiBln'
in mc ci'b,' ho say 3, 'it wud 111 beiomo
me U apea'.i of foico,' ho says, 'J wud
on'y ry that Jf It' Tinnsvanl ruypub
Ho v,MX rather bvo n Dum-duni bul
let in Its tuni-t)iii thin grnnt td EnR
HshnKi.th' l-rKlit.to, run th' i;mciu
mint, .'Jii th Tuinsvaal raypubllc'll
havo r'i,' ha' says. 'I will add,' bo
nays, at wo luivo put our hand to
th' pL .' nn' wo ivlll not tuin back ' he
"Wc I, sir, 'twits up to Kriie.tr mi'
ho kn '.rd th' nshrti out lv lib plid
on hit ' sl'hn' iuvs he, 'giutloiwn ' he
Kays, ' Viid Uko lo do mo boat to iu
coinnv ito yo,' ho sajs. 'Nawthm'
iihort , ii soyoro nttack ly sickness
vud i rri'a Jn much ado an long
lines '"''('"I'Miicn r"irulun up U
th' po' i 4 l'oaiitn .heir billots
figln ii. fj. iiiiMldlnt.'Jio aay4 Hut,'
ho saj i Tin an old matt,' ho says. 'I
tas 11 vd young'an' l'vo nlvcr dono
nnnytlr fit BinoV ho vim '1 wulu't
know nit do without It,' ho says
What ' ptopnso Is to malt" nn :
r.tham' uaft D'yo think nt my ago I
4tuant jat? D'yo thlnir nt n.v ngo I
I'svud b -ontlnt to dash fr'm' wan Jus
Uco cc f to another pleiul'.i' i'r linb-yas-co'
.a wUfcj.or test inu l lnui loa
lv pon al expansion in Mop .lorcy
llhigi ho sayij. Td lath'r !n n
dsad i idlnt than n llvo oX-prUtdl'it.
i! I h fnny jiol-ltlcal ambition I'd
rathot 1 n Uiaftt or n Oarllold than a
Clovoli 1 or it Harrison,' ho niiyn. 'I
nuty'vi -d It Jit th' Blblq, though I
think 1 r 1 In a tcai:d Inns bonk mo
fMtul ) ' o loft In h U livJivjiim Ins'
fiaio h v.llcil on mo th.r vr nhud
jilvor u.isuul an aio to dhuw to 4
-on the Transvaal
flush,' he says. 'I deplore th language,
but th' slntlmlnt Is sound,' he rays.
'An' I bellve ye'er Intintloiin to pre
sarve peaco nr-re honest, but I don't
like to see yo pullln' off er coat,, an'
here goes for throubfe whilst ye-havo
ye'er arms in th' slcevpg,' h says.
'Fr,' he says, 'ye havo put ye'er hand
to th' reaper an' It cannot turn btck,'
"An' there they go, lilnnlw. I'm
not agaln'-England la th'H thing. Hln
nlssy, an' I'm not again' th' Doers.
Llko Mack, I'm divided on the mat
ther lv principle, botnoen a desire to
cemlnt th' llance an' an effectlon f'r
th' Dutch rote. But if Krog'-r had
spint his life in a ralo rayptibllc where
they burn gas he cud've LOttled th'
business without losln' slKip. If I was
Kruger thcre'd 've been no war."
"What wud ye have dono?" Mr. Hen
"I'd glvo thlm tV voti8," said Mr.
Dooley. "But," ho addod significantly,
"I'd do th' countin'.'
NENATOB .TIAHON'S RBHIUNATION
Chicago, Ootobor 27. The Her
ald will Bay tomorrow: "Senator
William E. Mason's throat to re
sign unless the administration's
present foreign policy is ohanged,
according to the latest prophecy,
maybe executed bofote Christmas.
Persons who assnxo to bo woll
informed insist that he will stop
ont immediately in pursuance of
an arrangement which will obange
the whole face of Republican po
litics in Illinois. The story, as
widely circulated yesterday, rnns
to this effect: v
"Senator Mason will resign in a
few weeks to tako a high-salaried
Ipfinl position 812,000 or more a
year with one of the biggest cor
porations 10 tho oountry, having
headquarters in Chicago. Govern
or 4annor will then resign and
Lieutenant Governor Northcott,
on succeeding to tho Governor
ship, will appoint Tanner to the
vacant Senatorship. With Tanner
thus eliminated from the guber
natorial situation, Northcott can
be made the "organization" can
didate for Governor next vear.
The interests which are alleged to
be making Senator Mason their
attorney at a big salary, with a
lootf term contract, are interests
wbioh have a friendly feeling for
Governor Tanner's future.
Matlny on lb Phclp.
New York, Ootobor 2C Leo
Sammin, a seaman on tho four
masted steel clipper Erskine N.
Phelps, will bo tried before Unit
ed States Commissioner Morrio
in Brooklyn tomorrow on a chargo
of mutiny on the high seas. Ho
was brought into port in irons
yesterday. Hammin is accused
by Captain Robert Graham, who
says that he induced the entiro
crew to revolt. When Captain
Graham docked his vessel at
Brooklyn he said that his sailors
had refused ' to obey the ordors of
First Mate .Myron T. Bailey.
They mut'nietl September 24th,
off the eastern toast of South
America, just as a severe storm
wa? blowing np. If tho men had
Dot been cowed by the captain
and forced to reef sails Graham
says he beljqyed the ship might
hav' gone down in a squall,
which camo up suddenly.
Tho trouble started as the
Pbolps was rounding Cape Horn,
August 30th. Tho Phelps, whioh
is owned by Arthur Sowall fe Co.
of Bath, Me., wasscenty days cut
from Honolulu with a cargo of
SIMPLICITY OF SCIENCE.
Science Is always simple It's only
.fjuackory hat juggles with Jargon.
Medlcai'"trcatmontof the past deal
with "slraplos," Iho puro vegetable'''
remedies provided by nature. Sagwa
fa compounded of simples. It Is pure
ly vcgotablo. It Is scientific, because
It Is based on tho known curatlvo pro
portion of tho herbs, roots, barks and
gums which It contains. It Is the
most cfllclcnt blood purifier and blood
builder .known. Ninety per cont of
diseases nro curablo by tho prompt
and propor uso of Sagwa. It oxpels
from tho blood all corrupting and cor
roding dements and builds up a now
body with new blood. Thero Is no
Bubstltuto for Klckapoii Indian Sag
wa. Hobron Drug Co., ngonts for tho
Klcknpoo Indian Remedies.
Amlite'i Parly Mlmt
Lnni$iii,bat. 27, The "Times"
publifhtH n letter from Roar-Ad
mind Herbert Campion summar
isfiiR ii Htory received from bis
nephow, now at Fort Churchill,
Hudson Bay, wlnoli snys some
Jibqinnmiix tnuk-rtt up north some
ti .i ftco shot two white men sup-.
!..! d to holopg to tlw Audreo vx-
BARKER FOR EXPANSION
Capt. A. L. Barker, U S. N.,
who has seniority over every other
captain in Undo Sam's navy, and
who will be entitled to step into
the place that Admiral Howison
will vacate next month by retire
ment, was seen at the Ebbitt last
ovening. Capt. Barker has done
forty years of faithful service for
his country, bnt he walks with
the alert.step of a young man,
and, in faot, seems in life's prime.
He is a Massachusetts man by
birth, and his bearing is that of a
highly onltured gentleman. As
he was In the Philippines up to
last Juno, a Post reporter asked
for his views on the desirability
of United States ownership of the
"I am," said he, "unequivocally
in favor of retaining thero. They
are going to be of enormous value
to us in a commercial way. 1 do
not believe in prosecuting the war
in a vindictive spirit, bat tz.o
sooner tho rebellion is stamped
out the better, and I do not be
lieve it can last much longod.
Aguinaldo has held ont thus far
chiefly because he tkougbt that
our government might eventually
weaken in its policy, and be was
encouraged in this belief by the
action of some of our own people,
the .so-called anti-imperialists.
The hour is near at band when he
will be forced to see that we are
resolutely determined on giving
tho people of the Philippines
archipelago a better government
than thoy have ever known. The
Filipinos nro a pretty bright race,
and they will perceive ere long
and that the presence cf the Unit
ed States flag mean? a higher
standard of living and a superior
civilization." Washington Poet.
AGENTS MUST BE CIVIL.
The announcement has been mado by
Director Merriam ,in control of the
Census Bureau, that all offensive ques
tions will bo removed from the list
which pcoplo will bo called upon to
answer next year. '
Some of these questions, as develop
ed during the taking of the census ten
years ago, almost brought the enumer
ators Into serious difficulty, Buch, for
instance, aa that asking a lady of
doubtful age the year of her birth.
Then, again, thero were many ques
tions of a social nature, such as wheth
er the lady had ever been divorced, the
asking of which created considerable
trouble. The decision of Director Mer
riam Is a sensible one ,and will aid
largely in getting a ready response
from the people to the questions which
may be asked.
During the last threo decades the
Census Bureau has been one upon,
which cranks of all kinds have leveled
their Investigations. During tho ten
years leading up to the taking of a
census, tho advocates of almost every
Ism or crank succeeded in having pro
vision mado for tho gathering of sta
tistics relating to their ideas. Tho re
sult of this Is that tho taking of tho
census has been rendered unwieldy and
cumbrous, and tho really Important
and general Information has been lost
In, tho rush for special and miscella
neous statistics, relating to matter in
whichtho general public has no poa
Any movement which can, thorofore,
prune tho excrcsences and reduco tho
census to its proper work will bo. In
tho rlgh tdlrectlon. Atlanta Constitu
POPULATION OF THE WOIILD.
1 The population of tho world Is vari
ously estimated at botween 1,437,900,
000 and 1,440,650,000. Tho former esti
mate Is made by Ernest George Ita
vensteln and ho divides tho population
by continental divisions as follows:
Africa, 127,000,000; North America, 80,
250,000; South America, 36,420,000;
Asia, 850,000,000; Australia, 3,288,000;
Europe, 380,200,000; Polar regions,
300,000. John Bartholomew estimates
tho population by races as follows:
Indlo-Germanlc or Aryan, 545,500,000;
Mongolian or Turanlnlan, 630,000,000;
Somotlc-or-'Hamltlc, 05,000,000; Negro
and-Bontuj lDOjOOO.OOO; Hottentot and
Blish, ttSMQO; ..Malay and Polyne
sian, 25,000,000; Amerl
American Indian, 15,-
King Bros, take pleasure
announcing the retunvof 'their
artist, Mr.1 W. Y. How, wjio-for
the past three months ha s been
spending his vacation in Japin.
While there he learned the
process 'of gold and silver pho
tography, which he introduces
for the first time in Honolulu.
One must see this beautiful
work to appreciate its merits.
Samples are now on exhibition
110 Hotel street.
Is Replete with Latest Designs in
Stamping, Drawn Work -4
Washable Embroidery Silks, Stamped
Linens. Cushion Tops etc.
No-10 Fort St., Up Stairs.
FUNERAL , DIRECTOR.
WITH THE CITY FURNITURE STORE::
Good Embalming a Specialty. A full stock
of the latest and best undertaking goods
and paraphernalia, including several Black
and White Hearses.
Office, 534 536 Fort St., Love Building.
. TELEPHONE 846. NIGHT BELL ON DOOR.
'Residence 777 Fort St., near Vineyard St. Telephone and Night Call, 849..
j r i 7
Tbe Old Bell at Bamnye, ladron.
Island. Oast In 1680.
Wtpradacwl from an Ulutraltoc la
"ItJiillml ' KSfewtiff rJj. t iV'C.Tr--. Kill fry "" "" x l
E. W. JORDAN'S
'FULL LINES OF,
ALWAYS IN STOCK.
A Natlre Itooae In the Z,nJroiio Islands.
Btswa Intu aa UtiultuUs kt '' to rjcmsi."
'- - O tl
.v . I
'll '! , '',' u'V
'HiXniiM iii ari&dir.. .. 4jftaUk. .i.uif.ii.Aiite-