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THE EVENING BULLETIN: HONOLULU, H. 1., SATURDAY, MARCH 8-1000.
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tflAH- " in I' "' '
Henry H. Williams,
Good Embalming a Specialty. A full stock
of the latest and best undertaking, goods
and paraphernalia, including several Black
and White Hearses.,
Residence 777 Fort St.,
Ik. OtS Kelt at Samaya, ladroa
Xilanda. Cast In 1680.
afredaord Iraa .a litaatnttac la
Oat av aVTMa"
Baldwin Celery Soda
Headache, Nervousness and
Pleasant and Refreshing
Honolulu Drug Co.,
HEADQUARTERS FOR DISINFECTANTS:
CHLORIDE OF LIME,
Honolulu Drug Co.,
Von Holt Block, King st.
DO YOU DRINK ERATED WATERS ?
If so, make them AT HOME with pure water from your own
liter, by means of ....
The latest scientific method, simple to operate, perfect in result,
absolute purity guaranteed.
Every home shnnid have them
THE CITY FURNITURE
536 Fort St.,
TELEPHONE 840. NIGHT BELL
near Vlneyard.St. Telephone and Night Cull, 840.
cj- yr meJ i?$ip
A Katlra Iloaae In the T.ndrone Ixlnnda.
bin (torn aa iHuuUwu ta V. 10 Mauila."
Holds and Restaurants.
CIVIL SERVICE RULEfe
IN OUR RESTAURANT.
It has to. Our waiters ar
trained to be civil, quick and at
tentive to our guests. Our die
is unrivaled in preparation of J lint
and appetizing dishes. Everythlnj
Is scrupulously clean, everythinj
as comfortable as we can make it
And the prices are always in reason.
HHome Bakery Ca!e.
"VThe Best Menl CnTe.
WE OFFER YOU THE
Best -5c. Cigar
lit oe had for tho money.
CLOSINJ OUT ALIi OUR DOMESTIC
Beaver Lunch Rooms
H. J. NOLTE.
Ifark-efc onn" tflnni
ITAN HEAT CO
J08 KJNG STREET.
G. J. (V"alleb, : : Managed
Wholesnlo and Retail
Oregeon and Tamales
Fresh Ranch Eggs "
J. R. MILLS
Lincoln Block, Klnjc street."
HE AND SHE,
B7 QE3BQE II. nEPWOBTH.
Copyright, IS09, l.j- Oorgo It. Ilcpwotlb.
The locnllty In which tho following
Instructive niid Intel cstlng coiivcrsn
lion tool plate la matter of slender
consequence. Pciluips (lie- window nt
which (lii (wo gentlemen snt. each
burning tin- rolled li'iif nnd pulling tho
nnoke lu fantastic clouds, looked out
011 (lio ocean, which thi moon. In tho
fullness of Its beauty nnd tin beauty
of Its fullness, innik rntllant with sll
very light, while the whltecnps of (ho
Incoming rolleis chased each other In
mad glee up the bench.
Or, perhaps ngnlu, It was part nml
parcel of n summer resort from which
coiilil be seen mountains and hills, tho
Urs( Ilia tnll grenadiers standing sen
tinel ns (he sinrs came ou( nnd tho last
like (ho rank and tile of mi itrmy lu Its
Hut I prefer lo bo historically cor
rec( nml nm therefore forced to say
that the Incidents of my little story
cannot rightfully conjure up either
ocean or hillside. This open window
was simply n clubhouse window, which
afforded 110 wider view (han (ho nar
row street, though overhead n patch of
tiireaieiilug sky was visible, and thero
was nothing In sight except the per
sistent drizzle which changed the dust
Into pasty mud, n few men hurrying
by who had (rusted the report of fair
weather In the morning impels nnd
left (heir umbrellas nt home and half
a score of wotiu whose sklits wcro
The bebtittoned guardian nt tho door
would gieel um with the uniff voice of
brief nnd Insolent authority If he could
see us ns we enter, but every story
writer bus the inp which rendeis him
Invisible, nnd we can wander about ns
we like without asking permission.
Sit here by my .Mile for a little nud Us
(en. for (he.se two men nre discussing
n subject which has taken the llrst
rank ever since the (lowers lu Kden
"Isn't It n little lute In llfo for you to
" 'Hotter Into than never' Id tho rule,
my boy," was the reply.
"Yes. but there nre some things
which ought to be done lu the morn
Ing. nnd If you dally aud hesitate until
5 In (he afternoon you mny ns well not
do them nt nil."
"Do you inenn (hat a man nt 40 re
sembles 5 o'clock In the nftcrnoon,
Jack? You seem to rcgnrU ino as an
"In comparison with Dorn, who has
Just tossed off her twentieth birthday
Into the past. yes. Five o'clock In tho
nfternoou nnd 10 o'clock In the morn
ing rnn't undei stand each other nnd
nre bound not to get on. The thing Is
"I like Incongruous things. Jack.
Why not get out of tho ruts In matri
mony ns well as other matters' It's
nil n lottery anyway, nml It's Just as
possible to draw n prize n( 40 ns til
23. The fnc( Is. I've got n theory. It
has b jn lying among the rubbish In
my mental utile ror 11 good many years,
nail I'm going to tuku It out nud glvo
li an nlrlng,"
"A theory. eh? You? 1 must say
that Is rather Inicrcstlng-n soit of
hohhyhoit-o, nud j oil propose (o mount
nml enter (he lace, tiood luck (o you.
Halph. bill accidents will happen, nnd
I gne.HS jou'il heller leave n 'No Flow
ei-h" notice hcalu.1."
"Ye.s, JkcKs I'm going Into this tlilug
deliberately nnd nccortllng to n little
plan or my own."
"Oh. I see. You nre to get married 011
nrchltectiiral principles. You make
your lira win;; and build your wife ac
cordingly." "Precisely. No romance nud foldcrol,
but a lot of common sense. I have my
Idea of what marriage ought to be
and shall work along those Hues. Hy
and by you may pay us n visit, and If
you don't say I have a model homo I'm
"Would It be proper to nsk you to
divulge your secret of human happi
ness, Italph. or have you had It pat
ented, with nil rights reserved'"
"Hutlrely willing to tell you nil. Jack.
Just light n rresh clgnr nud lend me
your ears for tun minutes. There 1 Are
jou ready V"
"Hoth i-endy nnd nnxlous, my dear
fellow. Mos( potent, grave and rev
erend magician, wavo your wand and
"My (Irst proposition." Raid Hnlph,
"Is that man Is tile dominant aulmnl
"Is? Itenlly Is or only should be?"
"Is so by vlrlne of bis superior Intel
lect nud physique."
"You menu Hint he can outthlnk a
womnn and In case of any resistance
on her part ran bring his biceps Into
piny nnd knock her down? Is that
"Hi Is uidnlned by nnture (o be (hi
head or (he ranilly. The womnn Is n
sort or advisory commlKee. bin hi tins
the veto power, nnd. ir he kuows bis
duty, will use It. tenderly, of course,
but n( (lie same tlmi lirmly. There
can be but one master In n household,
and It Is always (he husband, provided
be lsn'( nu Idiot."
"Humph! You nre a poor, misguided
mortal. Italph. You have a delusion,
and when you come to apply that theo
ry I don't want to be (here, for t
should be drowned In (ears or pity."
"Don't waste your sympathy, Jack.
I know whnt I'm about."
'The mnn Is master!" soliloquized
Jack. "He has the veto power! His
wife does ns he tells her to!" Ills
thoughts wandered off to his homo,
and memory was so unsuccessful In tho
attempt to coriohornte the statement
of tt'ilph Hint he shook his head rathe
mournfully and something like a slgl
"Oh. I know well enough that It b
no( generally so." lesuiued Hnlph "I'n
a Hide nearsighted, but I enn see n
thing or two nevertheless. The ma
Joilty of households nre ruled by a
queen, not by n king. That Is plain
enough. Hut It Is n lopsy turvy con
dition of affairs, nnd In my own enso I
Intend (o rectify the mlstnke."
".May the I.oid have mercy on you!"
responded .lack solemnly.
"Just look nt me. Jack."
"All right. Italph. From my point of
view, you seem like a man about six
feet two lu his stockings."
"And I weigh?"
"Hum! I should say you might turn
the scales nt two twenty. How Is
that for n guess?"
"You are wlihln five pounds. Now,
(hen, would you tnl.o me for a fellow
who could bo twilled by. any living
"Not If you knew It, Halph, but tho
odd part of It Is Hint you will probably
do nothing else but twirl nnd still bold
ly assert Hint you are next door to a
Jack took a half dollar between tits
thumb nnd forefinger nnd sent It spin
ning. "She will do It as easily as I do
that." he Insisted.
"Fshnw! Nothing of tho kind. Tou
nre n long wny out. my dear fellow."
"All the best women lu the world nro
adepts In hypnotism, nud 1 seo no rea
son why you shouldn't fall under tho
Italph shook his head nnd wns Inclin
ed (o be Indignant.
"Did you over see that submarlno
torpedo which has had two or three
successful trials?" asked Jack.
"What has that to do with nintrl
mony?" sneered Italph.
"More (ban you (hluk. The torpedo
Is lauurhed, and so Is the man when
the man Inge certificate has been prop
erly signed nnd witnessed. The torpedo
undoubtedly thinks It Is hnvlng Its own
sweet way as It darts through (he wn
(er nud heads for a vessel lying nt
anchor, but ir you will carefully notlee
you will discover two electric wires at
tached to It nnd reaching to the shore
where the battery has been placed.
These wires nre tilled with (he drlvlug
power, nnd (he man who Is on shoro
can turn the torpedo (his wny nnd (hat
by Just moving his linger. He can send
It ahead at n (errlfic pace or slacken Its
fcpecd. nccordlug (o his whim and Judg
ment." "Well, what of Itr
"Oh. nothing, except that the torpedo
Is the man who stands six feet two,
and Hie light electric wires wlilcli
would do for n spider's web. but decide
the whole matter, nre Hie wife."
"Look here. .Inch. Whnt you any Is
nil well enough, under ordinary condi
tions, for might I know. Perhaps It is:
perhaps It Isn't. I don't pretend to de
cide. Hut my circumstances nre pe
culiar, and I have the affair In my own
"Oh, Indeed!" And a puff of smoke
carried a doubt to the celllug.
"Yes. I think I mny modestly lay
claim to a certain degree of shrewd
ness. You see. my dear boy. I'm not
going to marry n widow of my own
age. who would bring nil her former
experience to bear on me the strategy
with which sho overcame No. 1 but a
"She will do It an casllu n do thnt."
young girl, fresh In her Innocence, with
uo knowledge or the world, her Ideas
of life yet to In formed, nud. mind you.
Jack, to be formed under my Iminedl
nte supervision. I nm going to be the
sturdy oak, you know, and Bhe Is to bo
the clinging vlue."
Jnck chuckled. "Great Scott. Halph,"
he said, "you have n very dramatic fu
ture before you! Your (lieory Is charm
ing, exquisite, cntinnclug, n sort of
Lake of Como nffnlr, but"
"No huts nliout It In this case." re
sponded Italph, with that self center
ed nssurntu-c which the tmtrnmmclcd
bachelor acquires. "I'm going to edu
cnte my wife Into my wny of thinking.
She Is to be my second self, a reflection
of my thoughts nnd feelings. You sec,
my hnblts are formed. Hers nre not.
I nm hardened, nud she will be plastic
nnd tnke any shape I cIioomi. I shall
let her know. In the most delicate
way. nt the wry beginning, (hn( I nm
master, that ihlrgs must go In my wny,
nnd. my word for It, I shall have a
household that will bo the envy of my
"All right. Hnlph." sold Jnck as be
rose to go, "Tho Frnnco-Prusslnn
war was a mere bagatelle to (he smug
gle you have engaged In. You hnvo
undertaken a contract which will end
by making n pile of klndllnb vood of
you. Hy tho way, when are yui going
to be married?"
"On the H!tli."
"Sorry, my dear boy, but 1 sail on
the 14th and shall not he able to assist
nt the ceremony. However. I wish
you good luck and plenty of It. You
needn't give my condolences to Ho
rn In view of her prospective sub
jugation, for I rather think she doesn't
need them. Poor Itnlphi" There was
a depth of mock solemnity In his
voice. "You nre going to have n reve
lation. Yon know n good deal, hut
you don't. know n woman of mettle.
nowever, all necessary Information
will coma In duo time. Uood night."
Dora wns gin fled upon tho family
treo of which Hnlph had some reason
to bo proud with nil possible pomp
and ceremony. The niralr was the talk
of the town, nnd Hie three leading
newspapers vied with each other It
the luiportnut mutters of woodcuts and
Hnlph hnd stoutly Insisted on hnvlng
k quiet wedding. He thought It better
form to be married In traveling cos
tume nnd to avoid publicity. They
could Invito n few of their closest
friends to a brenkfnst nud then tnko
tho train for the west. This custom
of turning the social world upsldo
down Just because n couple of Its mem
bers nro to lie married was very dis
tasteful (o him. He found It dlllicult
to express the depth mid height of bis
repugnance, but one could see In his
benrlug nud In certain heavy shadows
that gathered nbout his brow that ho
wns opposed to It lu every liber of bin
being. He hud seen the folly of It no
ninny times that he proposed (o steer
clear of Its honors lu his own ease.
Hut Dora evidently 'minted to see Its
follies, (oo. nnd dldh'l Intend lo allow
Halph to have all this viiluiihh Infor
mation to himself. If he was so aw
fully learned In these matters, thero
wns no reason why she shouldn't nc
qtilrc equal knowledge by means ot
personal expeileuce. As for n church
wedding why. It wns the only proper
Introduction to the society of man led
people. A glrl'H wedding ought lo bo
mi arch ns lull ns the clouds, some
thing so conspicuous thai she t-nu'if
look back mid see Its glorious propor
tions until she got to Hie very horizon
of life. If she hnd been two or Hire
times n widow and (he ceremony hnd
become stnle through monotonous rep
etition. Hint would be one thing. Or If
her fnHier had committed some crime,
or her cousin gertnuu had been hanged
for murder, nud there was good reason
for entering married life on the sly,
she would be (he hint to make objec
tion. Hut ns affairs stood she wasn't
ashamed of Italph. mid she rather Im
agined Hint he wasn't ashamed of her.
Alt this Is whnt she. said to her
mother, nnd If site eWWd her pretty
lips lather tightly we will not speak ot
(hat (o Halph. There were some things
"'twere better not to mention." and
where Ignorance Is bliss enlightenment
Is n curse. Hut Hie old lady nud (be
maiden of -'0 sal up very lute one night
spinning the web In wlilcli lo catch
"Why. mother. I shouldn't feel half
married If I went to tin minister's
with n railroad ticket In my pocket. It
Is preposterous. You don't bellcvo
lu It nuy more than I do, dear, do
The good lady nssunsl her daughter
that she had Iter eutlre sympathy, but
thought It well to remind her (lint
Hnlph hnd a will of his own nnd It
wouldn't do to oppose him loo bluntly.
"Oppose him. dear?" replied Dora.
"I never thought of such a tiling. Ho
Is very wise nnd very kind nnd knows
a good denl more than 1 do. Oh. no; I
ehnll not oppose him. but"
"Ah. yes! Hut what. Dora? That's
Just what's the trouble."
"Hut I'm going to be mnrrled In
church nil the same, mid (here will bo
plenty of bridesmaids nud the mo
gorgeous time you ever heard of."
The mother looked nt her offspring,
and there were two Interrogation
poluts distinctly visible in her eyes.
"Well, I think Halph will make tho
suggestion himself lu n day or two,
mother. It will come from him ns n
happy thought of his owu. uu original
Idea, you know, for the sake of glvlug
Wha( legerdemain Dorn practiced Is
not known, or whnt spell she threw
over Italph.' but It was only a week
later that lie said: "Look lien. Dorn.
I dou't believe u man has nny right to
nlr his authority oer a woman until
the two nre made one. ir you luivo-
set your heart on n church weddlug,
why. Hint's nil right."
"Oh. no. Hnlph!" wns Hie reply of tho
arch conspirator, aud she made a
graceful gesture or deprecation. "I
have old fashioned Ideas nboui n wo
man's duty to the man who marries
her nnd wouldn't Interfere with your
plnns for the world."
"Yes, yes; I understand nil Hint, and
I honor you for your common sense,
but every girl thinks a good deul of
her wedding day."
"And well she might If she has my
raro luck lu a husband," broke In
"So I think, ou the whole, we had
better nmrk the event In some speclnl
way, mid u fashionable church wed
ding will be something to remember.
"Halph, dear. 1 don't wnnt you to di
this for my sake," said Dora, with n
deal of pathos. "It Is my duty to ylclU
to your wishes, not yours to yield to
"Ob, of courso I understand nil
"And I have been measured for my
"Well, keep the costume. It will .
como In bandy later on."
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