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SUNDAY BULLETIN, HONOLULU, II. T., SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 1902.
Published Every Sunday Morning
nt 120 King Street, Honolulu,
T. II., by tho
BULLETIN PUBLISHING CO, LTD.
WALLACE R. FARRINQTON.. Editor
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Post Office Box 718
FEURl'ARY 22. 190.'
It wns Cunning Inst night.
Prince Henry will undergo n good
test of endurance during his Amerl
Now the question nrlses ran thn
President accept n gift from the Kai
ser without permission of Cong.'css?
A poor girl In Chicago has been
locked up for perjury, yet there are
thousands of tnx-pt-rjurers still at
Imnntor .Mnrconl. who In probably
tho most-tnlked-of man In the world
Just now. has been styled the "Italian
The President's Cabinet Is without
nn Ohio man. Ohio Is Hiking a aca
tlon and talking of Forakcr for a 1901
What, with the relics of St. An
draw's Cathedral and the relies of a
devilfish, Honolulu has a pretty com
blnntlon on hand.
Croker likes to live In England but
wants to be burled In tho States. Wo
thought he had some experience In
that line Inst Kail.
Prince Henry's Far Western trip Is
limited to a stay of three hours at St
Louis and the Anheuser-Ilusch city
residents are kicking.
The release of Miss Stone seems to
hate.bcen Indefinitely postponed. Shu
must bejeellng quite at home with
the brigands by this time.
And the Farmers' Alliance or Kan
sas has held a State convention in an
ordinary dwelling house. What was
the matter with the barn!
Mainland Democrats are preparing
to organize but there Is difficulty In
the first necessary step of finding an
"angel" to finance the plan.
Having heard that both MIIcb and
Schley declined to become Democratic
Presidential timber, flryan bus again
glued his ear to the ground.
The first Republican State conven
tion this yenr will be held at Indian
apolis on April 23 nnd 24. And In
diana has Its Presidential cnnilldato.
What an atmospheric feast thero
must havo been nt that Ohio town
where two warehouses, filled with
onions, were destroyed by flro.
Many largo Industrial firms In Pitts
burg havo voluntarily Increased
wages. ThU Is Infringing upon tho
rights of tho Democratic calamity
It was a valuable thirst that tho San
Francisco man had who got up In the
early hours for a drink of, water, nnd
Just In time to stop a burglar from
leaving his house with a load of val
uables, Democrats used to appeal to thq
country on tho wrongs dono by tha
plutocrnts to tho masses on the Main
land. This year they are agitating
about tho wrongs dono to the Fili
pinos. President Oompers of tho American
Federation of Labor used some very
strong language In paying his conipll
ments to Minister Wu, who had char
neterized the labor leader ns an agi
tator. Thirty-five yenrs ago the proposition
to purchase the Danish West In lies
waB made by Secretary of State Sew
ard. It was Mr. Bewaid who also ad
vocated the annexation of Hawaii with
A residence In New York, two
(arms In France nnd $15,000 in cash
tepresent the estate left by tho lato
chof of the Waldorf-Astoria In Now
York. The culinary science Is evi
dently a paying proposition.
Should tho House of Rcproa"nta
Uvea decide against Cuban reciproc
ity the Scnato will endeavor to pnss
a special treaty.. This la likely to be
resisted by the House as an Infringe
ment of its right to originate revenuo
legislation. Should the question bo
fought to a finish It will land In tho
United States Supremo Court. Then
we never can know what will hnppcn.
Reasons for the refusal of the Mer
chants' Association to accept the pro
posal of Morris and Pnton, whose work
will do much towards properly adver
tising Hawaii, have not been given to
the public. There can be no good
reason for Ignoring this work entirely
and, for their own repntntlon for the
adoption of all measures that will ad
vertise tho advantages of the Terri
tory for tourists. It Is to be hoped this
has not been done. The lecture tour
planned by these men Is n thoroughly
local enterprise and Is handled by
those who know local needs and nrc
equipped In every way to advance tho
Interests of the business community.
Since more or less exaggerated re
ports are certain to gain a degree of
circulation as n result of the Associa
tion's action appealing to the Federal
Government for assistance, no better
wny of combatting the falsities offers
at the present time than tho medium
presented by these gentlemen. They
will secure the Interested attention of
all those Interested In the Islands or
contemplating n business or pleasure
trip here, and can from their actual
knowledge nllay unfounded fears like
ly to arise. Hawaii should keep the
tourist trade always In mind nnd our
business men cannot fall to find a
splendid financial return In nil enter
prises having for their single purpose
a statement of the facts nbout the 1st
"New York Is a foreign city, In that
the vnst mnjorlly of Its citizens nre
This stntcment of Senator Chauncey
Dcpew' made during nn Interview on
tho New York excise law may eeem
to have no local bearing. It ccrtnln
ly could not have nny If the prevail
ing spirit In our local official life were
the same ns that expressed In De-
pew's remarks, In which he recogniz
ed tho degree oi Justice and honesty
In the demands made by a good-sized
portion of the foreign or "alien" pop
ulation for nn open saloon on Sunday
lu tho city of New York.
Senator Dcpew belongs to the class
that Is spoken of by one section of
the local press as the "wealth and
substance of tho community." He Is
for "good" government. He is In ev
ery sense what tho men who think
tho world present nnd future revolves
around a dollar would be ready to
term a representative man. Ho
speaks of the "foreign" majority elec
torate of New York city as bringing
with them many of tho customs of
their native land which they nro not
quick to relinquish, which Ihey regard
as rightful privileges. One of these
privileges. Is tho open saloon on Sun
day and open places of amusement,
both of which arc abhorrent to tho
general sentiment which upholds the
American Sabbath and has thus far
kept tho day as one of rest.
If we were to anticipate Depow's at
titude towards these foreign citizens
by the stnndarda voiced by local or
gans which poso ns "good govern
ment" oxponents, ho would bo expect
ed to set after these "foreigners" with
all tho venomous wrath ho could mus
ter; chargo them with being "aliens
by birth and aliens nt heart," with tho
slightest possible veneer of American
Ism. nnd forthwith demand that they
bo refused tho franchlso slnco they
seek to saddle upon tho American peo
ple doings on tho Sabbath which are
foreign to the ancient customs hand'
cd down to us by the pilgrim fathers.
Thla Is what Depew would necessa
rily do If he followed the example of
a select circle of Hawaii, which arro
gates to Itself all the "good govern'
ment" views to be found In the Terri
tory, whether among tho American'
born citizens or the native-born.
But Senator Depew. a man .trained
In American public life nnd methods,
does not say tho things that might he
anticipated and which, If said, would
exemplify tho methods of attack so
characteristic of certain men In Ha
waii posing ns leaders and directors
of the Territory's best Interests. He
does not remind tho voters of tlteTr
"alien" birth nor does ho condemn
their sentiments, which are to a largo
extent alien to the American Sab
bath. He goes so far as to admit that
"we havo here within tho confines of
our city a great body of Just as good
Americans as there arc to bo found
nuywhere In the United Stntes." Ho
says this of tho men who oro urging.
an "alien" Sabbath upon Now York
city. He Bays further, "These people
hold these liberties as much on prin
ciple as the good folks up the Stato
hold to their observance of the Sab
bath. Moreover, theso naturalized
citizens of ours havo enough votes
among them to elect or defeat any
municipal ticket that may bo put up."
Fortunately, Hawaii has no Sunday
saloon problem to wroBtle with, Its
citizens, who havo been tcrmod
aliens in thought and action, aro so
much more advanced than tho natur
alized voting majority of New York
city, llut wo havo other probloniB anu
we have a votlpg majority of newly
enfianchlsed Amorlcan citizens whoso
loyalty Is as strong If not stronger
whose education Is nn far advanced If
not more advanced than that of the
foreign majority to which Senator Do-
pew refers, and with which tho men
of Nuw York city aro working. Henco
It Is that tho remarks of Senator De-
pew and the attitude of Ms political
associates have an Important bearing
on our local situation. It suggests a
line of Sunday thought and a dally
thought that deserves serious contem
plation on the part of every citizen of
Senntor Dcpew knows, as does ev
ery Republican lender In tho city of
New York, that an election could
never be carried If they were to adopt
the local official organ method of con
demning and ridiculing this "foreign"
majority ns n class. They know that
they must work with the voters, rec
ognizing their virtues, not exaggerat
ing their faults.
And thus must leaders In Hawaii
work If they hope to accomplish re
sults for the purposes of Territorial
advancement. No one but thoso
speaking through official newspaper
mediums counts our Hawaiian-American
population ns "foreign," but, tak
ing the faction on Its accepted
grounds, wo would suggest that It
mark, learn and Inwardly digest tho
remarks of Senntor Depew. For this
Is nn American Territory nnd wo must
enrry our elections and wo mist ad
vance by traditional American meth
ods. If we do not use Amcrlcnn meth
ods, retrogressive wrangles nnd de
feats at the polls are the certain re
sult. Our offlclnl policy must be
ABUNDANT FEDERAL MONEY.
Ilnnk-noto circulation, secured by
United Stntes bonds, Is rapidly declin
ing, and If It continues nt tho existing
rate It will have fallen to about JM0,
000.000 by September next tho
height of the crop-moving season ns
compared with nearly $329,000,000 In
September Inst. Reduction of elicit
Intlon Is limited by law to $3,000,000
monthly, while there Is fortunately no
limit to the Increase of note Issues.
Within three months the totnl circula
tion tins fallen by $0,000,000, the loss
being nlmost entirely upon the new
2 per cent bonds which nre the most
profitable basis of circulation, ond
which were very largely availed of to
Increase circulation Immediately after
the refunding provisions of the gold
standard law which authorized their
Issue. Having proved disappointing
to the banks, these bonds hnvc been
withdrawn nnd thrown upon the mar
ket under the stimulus of recent high
Tho upward tendency of United
Stntes bond .values was not chocked
by the transfer of $.0,000,000 to tho
open market because a greater amount
had been withdrawn by tho Treasury
Department's policy of debt reduction.
In less than three months tho principal
of the bonds redeemed had reached
$18,073,000, on which premiums and
Interest amounted to $4,099,870. Thero
Is no doubt that very high premiums
have been paid for thcBa unmatured
bonds In order to prevent tho with
drawal of money from tho open mar
ket, and tho time seems to be ap
pronchlng when some other method
must bo found of keeping tho Treas
ury surplus under control. This Is a
problem to bo met by the new Secre
tary, Mr. Shaw.
At the end of the current fiscal ar,
June 30 next, tho total year's Treasury
surplus will probably amount to $100,
000.000. Hitherto tho cash balance
has been kept under control by a lib
eral purchase of bonds at high pro-
mlumB. llut If this be stopped nnd no
other steps be taken to check the sur
plus It will amount to some $225,000.
000 Including the cash -already on
hand. Another year nt tho samo ratn
would find $325,000,000 of cash locked
up In the Treasury, causing a serious
stringency In the money market un
less thero forged to the front another
Grover Cleveland with his dlsastious
policy of dissipating a Treasury sur
plus. SUGAR PLANTATION LABOR.
I.nbor conditions on the sugar plan
tations or Louisiana aro unsatisfac
tory. Thero has been a sbortnge, par
ticularly of negro labor, and grinding
was delayed. Somo or the cano was
caught by a rrecze with considerable
loss to plantation owners.
Planters have tried to supply their
deficiency by Imparting labor Horn
Alabama, Georgia and South Caro
lina, It Ib complalnod, however, that
the negroes work only ror one year In
Louisiana and then movo on to Ar
kansas, whoio they aro bettor treated.
Planters aro urged to let tho coloied
men scok work where they can get thr.
best termB instead or trying to keep
them on plantations In a condition or
peonage or servitude. In most cases,
tho negro finds himself In debt to tho
plantation at tho end of a season and
ho Is not allowed to leave. His rem
edy then is to run nway, which ho
does, to Arkansas, leaving his few
household goods behind him nlso his
debts. Tho planters nio the heavier
U Hawaiian planters are seeking
Italian, labor In Louisiana, It seems
that there would bo Bomo difficulty In
obtaining It, for the Southern planters
would naturally try to keep what they
have. Italians make good out-of-door
workers and the planters know wheth
er It would pay to bring them here. It
would be more Judicious, however, to
bring Italians direct from their native
country rather than Horn the Main
land. Whlln tho former course would
be tho more costly as far an trnnspor
tatton Ib concerned, it would bo cheap
er In tho end, Thla fact becomes self
evident In view of the oxpeilence with
tho last lot of Mainland Italians who
got as far as San Francisco and stay
Another field for plantation labor
seems to exist In Corca. That coun
try Is more populous to tho squaro
mile than Ib Chlnn. Tho Corcans aro
a hardy race of men nnd they havo
shown. In aiding In the construction
of tho Russian railroads, that they aro
steady, reliable and effective workers.
Possibly their Ideas of remuneration
might be lower than thoso of tho Chi
nese, their mode of living being very
crude nnd primitive. They exist In
cheaply constructed wooden, clay or
rice straw houses with tho bare earth
for tho floor, even tho cheapest mats
being rnrcly seen. Chairs arc an un
known quantity, and they use nothing
that Is worthy of the name of a bed.
There Is no treaty that would pre
vent either Italians or Corcans from
coming to work nn the plantations of
Haw-all and laborers of cither of theso
two nationalities mny help planters
here out of their difficulties.
Of the twortho Italian Is far more
to be desired as a laborer and n citi
zen. Tho Corcan represents cheap
labor; the Italian Intelligent Inbor.
Though previous endeavors to obtain
Itallnns from cither tho Mainland or
Italy havo met with expensive re
verses, there Is no doubt that tho fam
ilies can nnd will bo obtained If the
struggle Ib continued with tho same
determination to win success that
marks the general activity of the lead
ers In the sugnr Industry.
DEPARTJVHINT OP COMMERCE.
It looks as If tho bill to establish a
Department of Commerce al Wash
ington Is likely to becomo law during
the present session of Congress. This
has been hanging flro. for several
years and now tho natlonnl labor In
terests are Included nmong tho du
ties of the now Secretary. Work
enough Is provided to keep tho do-
partment busy from Its Inception.
From the Treasury and Interior 1e
partments there have been transfer
red all the bureaus of lighthouses nnd
life-saving services, marine hospital,
steamboat Inspection, bureau of nnvl
gallon, shipping commissioners, bu
renu of Immigration, bureau of statis
tics, census office, department of labor
commission of fish nnd fisheries, nlsa
tho bureau of foreign commerce
With these duties nre Included tho
promotion nnd development of foreign
and domestic commerce; the mining,
manufacturing, shipping, transporta
tion nnd labor Interests of the coun
try. To nld him In theso multitudi
nous duties, the secretary of com
merce Is provided with nn assistant
secretary, ono chief clerk and a dis
Considering the enormous develop
ment of the business and commercial
Interests of tho United States, tho
new department Bhould be able to do
much good by watching similar affairs
In other countries as well as at home.
Uut If It is overloaded with a multi
plicity of other duties that aro but
Indirectly related to business, com
merce and labor, and without a suffi
ciency of help to manngo them, thero
Is danger or the department railing;
to achlevo tho main objects for which
It la created.
MUNICIPALITY AND JUSTICE
If anything were needed to show tho
urgent need or municipal government
for Honolulu It has been afforded
within tho Inst two weeks by the dis
missal of cases In tho Circuit Court
appealed from tho Polleo Court, bo
cnuse or rnulty warrants or other Ir
regularities lu the papers.
The present system Is a vicious one,
as was Bhown only a week ago when
a young man was arrested upon tho
serious charge or larceny without ono
scintilla ol evidence to substantiate
tho charge. As It Is now nny man
having a gmdgo against nnother can
go to tho District Magistrate and
swear out a warrant Tor his enemy
when there Is no legal ground for so
doing. Of course the High Sheriff or
Deputy High Shcrlu are supposed to
Inqulro Into the reasons for the Issu
ance of tho warrant. But to expect
such work fiom the Sheriff's offlco Is
too much, as with the manifold duties
of tho Sheriff and his chief deputy It
Is Impossible for them to also pi op
erly perform tho dutlcB of a Prosecut
Every day shows tho absolute need
of n city government under which
thero would bo a city attornoy or a
city prosecutor to attend to all tho
legal work or n municipality or the
size or Honolulu. No warrant Bhould
bo Issued ror the arrest of any man
upon tho mere request or a private
citizen until the case has been fully
Investigated by tho city attornoy or
city prosecutor nnd that officer ascer
tains that thert la sufficient evidence
to bo had to substnntlato tho chargo.
Honolulu has outgrown tho swad
dling clothes of provjnclallsm py
vailing under the oligarchy and It Is
cssentlul to tho surety of tho rights or
the citizen that municipal govornment
bo established. A number or crlral
nnl appeals havo boon thrown out or
the Circuit Courts within tho laBt two
weeks that could havo been prosecut
ed to a successful end had thero been
city nttorney to look artcr them and
seo to It that tho papers and records
In tho csbcs were properly laid bo
ioro tho Circuit Court.
Scarcely a day passes but what
Judge Wilcox Ib compelled to hear n
case brought on a warrant Issued on
the oath or somo Irresponsible party,
which warrant would nover havo hoen
Issued had the case been examined In
advance by a city attorney. As It is
tho court can bo used by people with
prlvnte grievances to punish their en
emies nnd thus brought into dlsreputo
With a centralized government un
der which there Is only an Attorney
General with apparently slight regard
for the rights of tho Individual,
wrongs nro constantly committed and
Justice becomes n by-word. What Ho
nolulu should have at the earliest pos
sible day is municipal government un
der which the rights of all, rich nnd
poor alike, will be equally protected.
Secretary Wilson of the Department
of Agriculture has yet to bo heard
from on the Cuban sugar proposition.
After he has studied the! question thor
oughly he will give his views to tho
Ways nnd Means Commttteo.
"Prnctlco strictest economy," says
n banker, when tnlklng of the local
financial situation. Taken with con
ditions ns they come home to ever
householder these days, this remark
Is much on the order of "Go In when
Prince Henry of Prussia was duo to
arrive In New York yesterday. Artor
visiting the Mayor nnd an exchange of
mllltnry salutes in the afternoon, Ills
Imperial Highness was to havo at
tended the Irving Place Theater In
Prices quoted by department stores
nro responsible for a bill, recently In
troduced In tho House of Representa
tives, to direct the resumption of tho
coinago of 21-cent pleecs. Hawaii
would be better off If It would Inkn
more kindly to the use of pennies.
Scotch workmen nnd French work
men havo visited the Mainland to
stud American Industrial methods
and now Mr. Alfred Moseley, C. M. G.,
Is arranging to bring the British 'or-ncy-'nnded
ut his own expense. Thpy
expect to learn It nil In about a month.
Twice In tho history or the Chinese
Empire have rorelgn women been ad
mitted to the Oriental Court. Upon
the bkt occasion, nt the beginning of
this month, the Empress Dowager re
mot cd her own coral necklace, poarl
ring nnd bracelets and presented them
to Mrs. Conger, wire or the United
President Roosevelt is reported to
bo nnxlous to hnvo many Interchanges
or visits between high officials and
personages In European capitals and
Washington. Visits from tho Grand
Duko Alexis of RusBla, from tho
Prlnco of Wales, and from a Cabinet
Minister of tho French Republic ore
John D. Rockefeller has promlBOd
$1,000,000 to Harvard If other friends
of the university will raise half that
amount. The money Is to be devoted
to tho medical school to which J. Plor
pont Morgan recently contributed a
slmllnr amount. TIiiib do somo of
the hoarded millions get separated
from their owners.
Tho evident willingness or the Fed-
iral administration to appropriate
:52fi,U0u ror tho defense or Honolulu
nnd Pearl Harbor suggests that an
appropriation ror dredging Honolulu
hnibor might also bo secured If any
body would urge such a claim. It Is
work that comes distinctly under the
jurisdiction of the Federal Govern
Tho entrance or tho Jnpanese con
tractor Into tho general building trndo
offers a hard nut for the Builders' Ex
change to crack. Agitation against
tho Japanese as a class will result in
shutting down on tho Immigration of
laborers for tho plantations. And
when tho plantations surfer tho build
ing trades reel tho effect most sorl-
ously. And there you are.
Ohio mado a good record In Its
manufacturing Industries during tho
1890-1900 decade. There was nn In
crease or 13 per cent In the number of
establishments In operation; of 60 per
cont In the amount of capital Invest
ed; of 18 per cent In the number of
wage-earners; and of 20 per cent in
tho total amount or wages disbursed
In 1900, as compared with 1890.
Hankers do not feel tho bard times.
They believe, or some of them do, that
tho men who nro crying tho loudest
are thoso who speculated the most
wildly with the least money. This Is
all right In Its application to tho spec
ulators, but what about tho man who
has hitherto depended largely on em
ployment on public works for tho
money with which to meet his Satur
day night blllB? How about the man
working for a dollar a day who did
not speculate and whose only connec
tion with banks consists In banking
his small savings, savlnga which ho Is
now forced to draw upon because his
usual source of Incomo is cut off?
These aro the men who feel the hard
times and who aro deserving of first
consideration when framing a Terri
torial business policy that shall re
liove the situation at the point where
relief Is actually needed.
Hetty The' French word for )aw Is
feminine, Isn't (hat funny? '"
Frank I Aon't know. .. The law Is
dreadfully uncertain, you knpw. Hos-'
Six Jananese artlsfn nn, in i.a a,..,.
orated by the French Government.
CARTBR THE DISTURBER.
The advices arriving by the last boat
Indicate that tho Gubernatorial ques
tion In Hawaii Is still mixed. Out of
tho hubbub Ifls heard that Georgo II.
Carter has been given a boom for the
Governorship. Tho Dole crowd, which
knows that Dole must go, has seized
upon Carter as tho proper person to
step Into tho shoes bf tho "sphinx."
it Is reported that prayers havo been
offered up at tho Central Union
Church nsklng that Carter bo given
Divine guidance on his mlseltra (o
Washington. Providence mado Ha
waii a paradise In the beginning and
It Is doubtful who'ther any interfer
ence at this day may rightly be ex
pected from that quarter.
Carter as Governor would mean no
chango from tho Dolo policy. Carter
as Sccrctnry would not hurt nnythlug;
neither would such nn arrangement
do any good. But as Governor, Gcorgn
R. Carter would find himself a filibus
ter exalted to a throne.
As a Senator, Carter was a fidgety,
fretful blockader of business. He was
the main guy In tho minority, which,
In collusion with Governor Dole and
Secretary Cooper, blocked tho Legis
lature at every point. There Is no
one man in cither branch of the Leg
islature who Is moro to blamo for tho
failure of the session that George It.
Carter. He defeated meritorious leg
islation to satlsry a narrow factional
nnd racial spirit. Ho was a disturber
In nny council to which ho was called
and the Idea of making him Governor
of Hawaii In the Interests of poaco
and progressive government Is prepos
The problem that confronts Hawaii
and tho country Is not only that of
good government here. The broader
question of the success of tho United
States in a policy of world-wide ex
pansion Is Involved. If tho President
cannot fathom the needs cf Hawaii;
If Congress and tho Senato fall to
master Hawaiian pr'oblcms. what may
they not do In provinces more remote?
Until Hawaii is an American Terri
tory In ract and Is presided over by
broad-minded men with American In
stincts In their breasts, It is useless
to say that Hawaii Is annexed. Car
ter lacks brains, balance, experience,
Independence nnd breadth to such a
degree that his appointment as Gov
ernor or Hawaii would bo the greatest
In n sad series or mistakes that have
been committed In tho name or poli
tics. SHORT STORIES.
Some years ngo. Judge Jeremiah
Wilson, who wns acting as counsel ror
Admiral Schley when he passed away
suddenly at Washington, D. 0 a fort
night ngo, was defending a contractor
accused or defrauding tho Govern
ment, and, as the case developed, tho
law and the testimony seemed to bo
closing round his client. Hut when
Mr. Wilson mndc his appeal to the
Jury, no calendared saint wore " a
brighter crown or glory than that with
which ho invested his client. The
Judge's charge wns not auspicious for
tho defendant, but tho Jury remained
out n surprisingly short time, "Wo
find tho defendant not guilty," they
reported. Tho Judge and prosecutor
were astonished. Addressing the de
fendant, the judge said: "Though It Ib
my painful duty to discharge you, I
cannot refrain from congratulating
you upon having retained so eloquent
an advocate!" Turning to the Jury,
tho court added: "But It gives mo
pleasure to discharge you, for a moro
unconscionable Jury never dragged a
verdict through a temple of Justice!"
In her "Book or Remembrances."
Mrs. Gillespie tells an amusing story
or her grandmother, who had a keen
sense or tho humor and a ready wit.
She was awakened one night by a
nolso In tho room; sitting up In bed,
Bhe saw a rat eating tho candle which
stood lu tho chimney-place; she arous
ed her husband, who said, sleepily,
".My dear, thero la no rat: It Is con-
celt." "Very well, Mr. Beech, then It
Is conceit with four legs and a tall."
Sleepy as he was, this witty speech
drew her grandfather from his bed.
and the rnt's doom waB sealed.
A good story Ib told or Mr. Jelf, who
lias Just been appointed a Judgo of tho
High Court In England. On ono oecn
slon, when he was Recorder of
Shrewsbury, a prisoner, who was
something of n hypocrite, tried at a
quarter sessions to melt his heart with
tearo. "Havo you never been In pris
on?" aBked Mr. Jeir, in soothing tones.
"Never, my lord, never," was the reply.
"Well; don't cry,' tho Recorder replied.
"That can easily bo remedied. I
Bend you thero now."
The salutation or one Canadian nl
derman nB ho grasped tho hand or tho
Duko or Cornwall was, "I met your
old man hero rorty years ago." And
the Duko and Duchess smiled not
wearily but brightly. Tho remark had
a Western flavor which reminded
them of tho mountains, nnd, anyway,
broke the monotony of tho ceremonial
While James M'Nelll Whistler, tho
eccentric American painter, was trying
on a hat In a London shop one day, a
customer rushed In, and, mistaking
Mr. Whistler for a clerk, exclaimed, "I
Bay1, this 'at doesn't fit." Tho artist
oyed him for a minute, nnd then re
plied, scornfully, "Neither does your
coat, and I'll bo hanged if I like the
J color of your trousers."
CURIOUS CRINKLES 1
By LANAI LOUNGER.
Going, going, gonel The auctioneer's
fee In the Supremo Court.
The Court Mr. Bailiff, go out and
ask that carpenter In the next room to
file his saw nt home. Such noise In the
courthouse Is atrocious.
The Bailiff Your Honor, It Is not
the carpenter. It'sWttorncy Boanerges
filing a complaint before Judge Jpnes.
Prlggs Well, Uncle Sam has given
us n stable government, anyway.
Dlggs Yes, and now the Honolulu
merchants are begging him to send
nlong stable brooms to clean the placo
A Honolulu paper objects to the ap
pointment or women as court officials,
but omits tho nrgument that It Is un
nble to Increase litigation.
Mnrconl la bound to do something.
But will this century produce n
speechless book agent?
When we do have n telegraph eablo
from San Francisco, It can't bo used
as a hawser to tow delayed steamoru
Into port when us newspaper fellows
want to hurry them nong.
A vicious trnmcnr mule may bo
classed as a rabid transit critter.
When wireless telephony comes to
pass, with every house receiver separ
ately attuned, tho music In tho air at
the height of the morning gossip. hours
will be something fearful.
One consolation attached to Hono
lulu's Involved telephone tangle s
that there is no extra charge to sub
scribers for central's rugachucklng In
their ears to hold their attention while
they wait long to be asked what num
ber is wanted.
All honor to tho police authorities
for their efforts at making the Porto
Rlcans work honestly for their living
ns they were brought here to do. Ha
waii Is not to be noted ns a loafer's
Mayhap the steamers arc delayed by
the stopping or overland traffic from
the burning out of the telegraphic
wires by redhot Inquiries from Wash
ington ns to the whereabouts ofGeorgn
About ninety "good men nnd true"
will be expected to nnswer Jury roll
calls In Honolulu tomorrow morning.
Hawaii surely has moro litigation to
tho squaro aero than most other coun
tries of equal size.
Trumbull & Beebe's
Flower and Vegetable Seeds
Awarded Gold and Sliver Medals Paris
Beautifully Illustrated catalogue
mailed free on application.
TRUMBULL & BEEBE
SEEDSMEN AND NURSERYMEN.
419421 8ansome St.
San Francisco, California.
Fred. L. Waldron
P. O. Box 553; Tel. Bluo 791; Room
3, Spreckels Building.
LOST Black purse with watch and
two keys. Suitable reward If le
turned to the Bulletin offlco. Es-tt
Agents, Broken and Jobbers.
W. G. Irwin & Go.
Western 8ugar Refinery Company of
Baldwin Locomotive Works of Phila
delphia, Pa., U. S. A.
Nowell Universal Mill Co. (National
Cane Sbrcdder),New York, U.S.A.
N. Ohlandt & Co.'s Chemical Fertili
zers. Alex. Cross & Sons' high-grade Ferti
lizers for Cano and Coffee.
Reed's Steam Pipe Covering.
ALSO OFFER FOR SALE:
Paraffln'o Paint Co.'s P.& B. Paints and
Papers; Lucol and Linseed Oil,
raw and boiled.
Indurlno (a cold-water paint), In whlto
Filter Press Clothes, Cement, Lime and
CASTLE & COOKE, Lid
:: Sugar Factors
Tho Ewa Plantation Co.
Tho Walalua Agricultural Co., Ltd. '
Tho Kohala Sugar Co.
Tho Walmca Sugar Mill Co.
The Fulton Iron Works, St. I.ouls, Mo.
Tho Standard Oil Co.
Tho Geo. F. Ulnko Steam Pumps.
Tho New England Life Insurance Co.
The Aetna Fire Ins. Co. of Hartford,
Tho Alliance Assurance Co. of London.
Pensylvania Fire Insurance
Company, CIB.. T. WIIdWt
KAAHUMANU ST. "
f ' I