OCR Interpretation


Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, May 11, 1902, Image 4

Image and text provided by University of Hawaii at Manoa; Honolulu, HI

Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn82016413/1902-05-11/ed-1/seq-4/

What is OCR?


Thumbnail for 4

!0pv
SUNDAY BULLETIN. HONOLULU. H. T.. SUNDAY. -MAY 11, 1902.
r
THE
SUNDAY BULLETIN
published Ever; Sunday Morning
at 120 King Street, Honolulu,
T. I! , by the
BULLETIN PUBLISHING CO, LTD.
WALLACE R. FARRINQTON.. Editor
Entered at tho Post Office at Hono
lulu ns second class matter.
SUBSCRIPTION RATES.
Evening Bulletin,
Per month, nnywhero In U S...J .75
Per quarter, anywhere In U. S.. 2 00
Per year, nnywhero in u. S 8 00
Per jcar, postpaid, foreign 1100
The Sunday Bulletin.
Per month $ .15
Pet qu-irtor 35
Per year 1 25
i'cr year, postpaid, foreign .... 1.(5
Weekly Bulletin.
Six months $ .50
Per car, anywhere In U. S. . 1.00
Per year, postpaid, foreign 1 50
Evening and Sunday Bulletin.
Per month, nnwhero In U. S. .J .00
Per quarter, anywhere In U. S.. 2 35
1'er year, anywhere In U. S. . . 9 25
l'er year, postpaid, foreign .... 12.75
Sunday and Weekly Bulletin.
Per year $2 00
Per year, postpaid, foreign ... 3 25
Telephone -50
I'ostofflco Box 718
SUNDAY
MAY 11, 1D02,
Each time no Ignore our better 1m
pulses Satan rings up a fare.
The women of America have been
cut with their iIiiTjh In Lux Angeles
Ihey enjoyed themselves.
If the late Irvlug Qulncy Tewksbury
wire only alive, how he would laugh
lu know that he was dubbed the flnau
till ndvlscr of King Kalakaua.
England got nuofher Kcaro through
n minor that Hanker Morgan was ar
ranging a combine of all the tlritlsh
coal minis. This, however has been
del led.
With tho advent of the Territorial
election season in slglit, It is well to
rcircmbcr that however well a woman
pucks a trunk, it takes a man to stuff
a ballot box
A point for girls to remember Is that
when a young mnn is hunting for a
Ccm on tho beach of matrimony, ho
rarely picks up the girl who considers
herself the only pebble.
Mainland politicians are beginning
to hawl out their sweeping machines,
e'ean the last campaign's dust off the
bloomy end. oil up tho old machinery
and prepare for tho regular biennial
clean sweep thy are going to make of
the other fellows.
With a J71.000.000 Rivers and liar
Cor Mil agreed to by both branches of
Congress and a public building bill re
quiring upwards of J15.000.000 appro
priations, those gentlemen who have
been fortunate enough to securo a
t'lco of tho pork and who expect to
hear from their constituents next No
member, should recc1'- favorable clcc
tlon figures
Having Just recovered from tho ef
fects of blizzards and snow bound
t'.icks. Kansas, Ncbrnskn, Missouri
and other States In that group are now
enjoying (he attendant luxuries of tho
fcstlvo tornado, which Is destroying
hui dreds of thousands of dollars'
wurlh of property and getting a larger
dtntli roll to Its credit than usual thus
early In the season.
Tho steel trust proposes to Incteaso
1U bonded debt from J300.000.000 to
J550.000.000. Among tho reasons aB
signed for this move aro tho acquis!
lion of new plants and cash payments
to bo tiiado of J 10,000,000. A syndl
d.tc. Including some of tho directors,
has been formed to flnanaeo tho new
1 reject. It Is Tfardly necessary to
state that ono J., I'lerpont Morgan Is
risoclated with tho syndicate.
Uncle Sam Is to become a builder
of warships. Tho provision of tho na
Vy appropriation bill Is that ono new
battleship or ono armed cruiser should
bo built In whatever navy yard the
Sicietary of the Navy may designate,
and an appropriation of J173,000 is
riado to fit up llio yard for this pur
pose. It firthe desire ot congress that
the Items of cost may bo compared
with those of construction In private
yards.
Not only are tho English alarmed
over Mr. J. I'lerpont Morgan's success
In securing ovor twenty Ilrltlsh steam
ships, but the Austrlans, as well as
tho Germans, havo arisen to oxpress
Ihelr disapproval of what they term
tho "American steamship combine,"
saying tho Interests of tho cntlro world
ore opposed to America monopolizing
the shipping traffic of tho world or
using International navigation to de
velop its own export trado and servo
its own political ends.
The latest railroad project Is for a
row lino from tho Atlantic to tho Pa
cific entirely independent of all exist
ing rou'es Except that tho cost of
labor nnd construction material aro
exc optionally high nt tho present time,
conditions aro favoraulo for largo en-
teirrlscs, especially wltli such an 877 nnd of tho eggs produced J144,
abundant monoy market. Dut what o(3SC,158. r'Ji itfciJtUiJjdLr
ctllapsc there wilt be In tho value of
inllroad stock when tho next poor crop
season comes to check tho earnings of
flic grangers, and when tho smaller
demand for the output of American
factories diminishes the amount of
hauling of raw and finished material
Slumps of 25 and SO per cent in stocks
will not ho "unusual.
TUB I'ALL CAMPAIGN.
Some of tho Republican leaders In
Congress arc not looking forward with
anticipations of any great success for
their party ns a result of the fall cam
paign One of them goes so far ns to
! pi edict nndTner Democratic landslide
such ns occurred In 1S90. There seems
to be no strong leadership among tho
Republicans of tho House of Represen
tatives. Some have sliown a disposi
tion to associate themselves with tho
Democrats during recenf legislation,
,ti d to a lesser degreo the same condl
thins npply In the United States Sen
ate.
Democratic leaders are discussing
tin advisability of making tho tariff n
campaign Issue this jcar, associating
With It the great incrensc in tlie num
ttr ntul size or new- corporations, or
trusts, ns they arc called, as well as
the fact that we are now able to coin
pete with every other manufacturing
nation In the world In suppl)lng for
clgn markets with the products of our
fnitorles Hence, they say, thcro Is
in need for a protective law as high
ni that which was constructed under
the Dlngtey tariff.
Between somo prominent members
of the Republican party in Congress
Pin tho Chief Executive thcro Is a
ft rtnin nmount of friction, and It Is
ft It that the administration should
rtrp in nnd ascertain Its cause. Demo
crnts. It Is polntc.") out, nro really ma
nipulallng national legislation through
th" nbsenco of efficient Republican
lc cdershlp Some of tho more dlsgrun
Hid Republicans nro Inclined to throw
much of the blame for this supposed
ci iidmon of affairs upon the President
himself, nnd claim that ho was only
1 all hearted In his expressed dcslro to
On something for Cuba, on tho ground
that It was a matter ho had Inherited
fiom tho late President MiKinlcy and
ns not altogether to his liking.
Another condition that Is bringing
the Republican party Into a certain
nmount of popular disfavor Is tho state
of affairs In tho Philippines. Tho pro
le ngatlon of Ihe war there Ts decidedly
against American sentiment, especial
ly with such expositions as have been
made In regard to tho slaughter of n
f.plno prisoners without trial, orders
icsued for the wholesale slaughter of
the natives In Samar, and the practice
of cxtrcmo cruiltles such ns tho water
cure. All theso things have bocomo
public property ono after another In
rapid nuciesslon. And tho Democrats
vould be very glad. Indeed, of nn op
icrtunlty to manipulate tho Philippine
tariff.
Taking all things Into consideration,
the Congressional Comtnitteo feels
rather nervous as to tho outlook for
a fall campaign. It Ts nn off year when
Rrruhllcans are alwais remiss In go-
!nr to tho polls. Tho House, moreover.
him shown a disposition during tho
present (session to Ignore tho advlco
or suggestions that have been mado
b members of tho National Commit
tee and Senator llanna shows no Indl
cntlon nt the moment of coming to the
relief of ttio leaders In tho lower
chamber. However, nearly six months
must elapse beforo tho votes nro re
corued and the national ihalrmnn will
luforo then doubtless get In somo
wllrlwlnd work In his usual expedl
tious manner, straighten out tho tan
tic nnd carry the paYly onco more to
victor).
BUTTDR AND EGGS.
According to the statistician, Mill
hall, tho United States possesses 25
per cent of the totnl number of cows
In the world, though pioduclng rather
less than that proportion of tho butter.
Ranking next to tho United States
with Its sixteen million head of cows,
come Russia with ten million. Ger
many nlno million, Austria six, Trance
live, and Orent lirltoln four million
head. In tho output of butter;, this
country leads with 010,0u0 tons. Ger
many following with half a million
tons, Russia coming next with 350,000
tons, then Great llrltaln nnd Franco
with 200,000 each, and Austria 170,000
tons. Tho averago consumption of
butter throughout tho world Is seven
mid one half pounds per capita of tho
population. Australians aro tho larg-
t Ft butter eaters with an average of
tvelvo pounds per capita to their
credit, nclglans coming next with
eleven nnd one half pounds each, Den
mark ten pounds, United States, Hoi
Innd and Sweden each nlno pounds.
In tho last census year of 1900,
American hens laid 15,523,830,232
eggs, an increase of moro than 50 per
cent since- 1890. Of the C.739,657
farms In tho United States 5,090,252,
reported poultry, tho total numhir of
fowls three months old and ovor be
In? as follows. Chickens, Including
aulnea fowls, 233,598,085, turkoys, 6,
19,307, geese, 5,070,803, ducks, 4,
f07,358 The total annual incorao do
rived by farmers from the poultry In
dustry was J281.17.1.033, making It
nuo of tho largest Industries connect
ed with agricultiiro Iowa and Illinois
had all StatcB as egg producers nnd
chicken raisers, while Toxas and Mis
srtirl lead In tho number of turkeys
The totnl value of all poultry raised
in the lact census year was $136,891,-
DECLINING' EXP0KT8.
The fact that tbtiro has been a sharp
decline In too exports ot American
products and manufactures quite re
cently has not been tost sight of by
hutlncss men In the States. At tho
seventh annual convention ot the Na
tirnat Manufacturers' Association held
list month In Indianapolis, President
Theodora C. Search, ot Philadelphia,
tailed attention to tne declining ex-
iorts of American manufactured prod
ucts nnd urged manufacturers not to
neglect their foreign customers In this
on of extraordinary homo demand,
lent In times of depression they should
find their foreign trade destroyed and
nc export outlets available for tho
surplus ot an overstocked home mar
let. With regnrd to the proposition to
ciente a new Federal department,
Mr Search expressed gratification nt
the progress that had been mado to
ward tho passifgc of tho Nelson bill,
.mil ufhcd moro energetic personal
tuipport of the mensuro hy the Individ
tin! members of the association The
principle of direct government nld to
the merchant marine, ns embodied In
the pending ship subsidy bill, was
con-mended as In perfect accord with
the declarations of previous annual
conventions.
Concerning Isthmian canal projects
Mr. Search took the position that tho
loplo renlly cared but little whether
the Panama or tho Nicaragua route
shoilTd bo chosen, so long ns somo de-
calve nction should be taken hy Con
gress which would advance the matter
to tho point of nctual undertaking ot
the construction of an Inter oceanic
waterway.
Ihe pending bills for tho reorgani
zation of the Consular service on prac
tical lines were recommended for ap
proval by the association. Tho eight-
horn hill and the antl Injunction hill,
Mr. Search said, should not bo permit
ted to become laws without hnvlng
been most carefully considered In
their bearing on manufacturing Inter
ests The nppolutment of a perron
lunt committee on Interstate com
merce law was recommended nsn
menus of aiding tho movement to se
curo desired amendments of that net.
As a means of Increasing tho Influence
i.i.d prestige, of the association, Mr.
Search suggested the holding of reinl
annual conventions of manufacturers
and merchants for tho consideration
of special topics, such, for example,
as methods of extending the export
trade.
During the nine montliB ending with
Match, there was a decrcaso of JG0,-
OOO.Out) In exports from tho United
States, compared with tho correspond
ing months of the previous fiscal year.
Of this largo amount, tho value of
American brcadstuffs exported fell oft
by J30.000.000 and of cotton by J13,
OilO.OOO, leaving nearly J20.000.000 as
ihe loss In tho export trado of Amcrl
nen manufactured goods Tor the nlno
ironthB, or at the rato of neatly J26,
COO.OOO a year. As thcro ts always
some doubt as to tho export value of
manufactured goods. It Is Impossible
to tell whether the higher prices now
r.illng havo any bearing upon tho rela
tive quantities exported this year and
last.
Democratic Issue hunters nro doing
i lot of worrying 6d tho Mainland.
'Ihey can't find anything that will
scare tho voters or mako them think
there Is something the matter with
tho country. They nre attending to
Luslnesa, making money and bother
ing their heads mighty llttlo about
politics. Tho nation Is too confound
edlj contented to suit tho calamity
howlers
Rohemla holds the. record for long
engagements. Franz Rosner, 100
jcars of age, was married on his death
bed to Anna Renner, aged 93 years.
Thoy hnd been In lovo for seventy flvo
nrs but kept postponing tho event
ful day. Tho groom died forty-eight
lu urs after tho ceremony occurred
A renewal of tho triple alliance Is
suggested by secret conferenies be
tween the Italian Minister of Foreign
Afialrs anil tho German Chancellor.
Austria has, for somo time, been rath
er suspicious of Itary's friendliness
with France, nnd assurances have
neen given to allay tho feeling.
So tho Federal Government has no
funds available for tho sanitation ot
Honolulu. Fow oxpected It would havo
nuj. Tho work of t,.o Department of
Agriculture, however, In improving
tho sanitary condition of the Ameri
can hog, will proceed without Inter
ruption. Germany's law against tho use of
bcrax as a meat preservative Is likely
to check a trado worth J20.000.u00 to
the United States Tho Kaiser him
oe If, may havo to como over to straigh
ten out this tanglo when wo begin to
letaliate.
Having filled tho "pork barrel" with
J70,000,000, Congress might do much
worse than contribute a few millions
for tho payment of Honolulu's fire
c'aims.
Hadda Mullali, a dangerous fanatic
who has always tried to mako troublo
foi England in Afghanistan, Is pro
ceeding to Cabul with flvo thousand
followers.
It your tailor takes your measure
accurately, you will probably havo to
liny In advance.
?-3?"$'$S$$'4 $? -$$$ -$ -$ J-SJ
METHODISTS
AND
LAZINESS
, From the New York Sun.
In nn address to the applicants for
membership Into tho New York Con
ference ot the Methodist Episcopal
Church last week. Illshop Fowler said
that no other profession Is so condu
cive to laziness ns the ministry. "It
during the six days of the week," he
told tho applicants, "you only put as
much life, zeal and energy Into your
work as tho business man does you
will surely win." Illshop Fowler Is
enc of tho most original, vigorous, un
conventional and witty speakers In tho
United States Ills language Is nl
ways fresh and often quaint, and there
Is no trace of tho "goody-goody" In It.
lie has clear and sharp Ideas, and his
wnys of expressing them aro his own.
In his humor, wit and fiery energy, In
Ms directness nnd smnshlng Saxon
style, his homeliness nnd vigor nnd
centempt of humbug, there Is much of
tho old fnshloned Methodist. So somo
of the fine old race of Itinerants who
plodded through tho woods on their
horses with their saddlebags Blurted
with sermons, must hno prenched to
pioneers in n clearing or flatboatmen
on the Mississippi, that extinct trlbo
of ns tough citizens ns ever shot a
rlllc or drained a whiskey flask.
Those old Itinerants wcro never nc
(iiBod of laziness, and It seems a eti
rloiiB fault for any of their successors
to fall into. Learning and fashion
have mado somo inroads Into primi
tive Methodist simplicity, hut laziness
must ho a rare bird among Methodist
ministers, we should suppose, were It
not for the Illshop'3 warning.
How do Methodist ministers find
time to bo lazy? Tho great city con
(.legations bring a multifarious round
of duties to their pastors, nnd we havo
In ard moro than ono of theso busy
men regnt without bitterness, that
he had too little leisure to give to hla
Lroks and to keep his seminary learn
ing from growing musty. If from the
moro fact of distance and dispersion
nnd multiplicity of Interest, the social
demands of a city congregation upon
Its minister may be less In proportion
than those of a country congregation,
yet his engagement book Is long and
i the calls upon his time are Incessant.
Even If he Is lazy by temperament, ho
bus mighty llttlo chance to loaf and
Invite his soul. As for the great body
cf country ministers, like tho tradi
tional lawyer, they work hard and die
'roor, but unlike him they don't live
well. They havo to scramble hard to
make a living and educate their chil
dren nnd keep up a decent appear
nnce. The stingiest congregation will
,hiive the sharpest co for any shabbl-
ness In tho minister's family as ths
minister's wife knows only too well,
pior soul, as she sits darning stock
ings long after coming back from tho
evening prayer meeting; and "dona
t'on parties" aro only an occasional
and sometimes a doubtful blessing,
"Tho parson has a soft time of It,"
snjs the village butcher, or tho oiled
e'erk In tho old red Btoro "Why, ho
hafn't notlilu' to do but wrlto ser
rrnns " Nothing to do but prench, go
to prnjcr meetings and evening meet
Ings and praise meetings nnd revival
inn tings, nnd children's meetings, Bi
ble meetings and business meetings
Mid tempernnco meetings nnd meet
ings ot tho church Boclctlos and vll
lage Improvement societies and so
ciables and Sunday schools and sew
Ing circles nnd funerals and so on
Nothing to do but to call on nil his
lioplo regularly and visit tho sick and
Icok after tho poor and entertnln trav
elling clerical nnd semi clerical visit
ors and Bcrve on tho school commit
tee nnd take a prominent part In all
town affairs and In heaven knows hnw
many religious, charitable, education
al, musical and miscellaneous con
cerns and consider letters from nil
sorts of persons who havo no business
to bother him nnd always neglect to
send stamps. Nothing to do hut to bo
at the disposal of ovcry crank, busy
body nnd boro, to go to conference
ami ministerial meetings, to hear long
yorns from seedy Impostors whom his
heart distrusts but who seldom go
away empty the poorer tho minister
tho more ho gives away in proportion
to his means.
Nothing to do but try to bo tho
leaccmakcr among his people, to glvo
up bis rare peep Into tho Greek Testa
ment and hear soma old snuffy worn
nn bowall her Imaginary woes; to til
tcr his boys when ho can get the
chance; to try to cko out his slender
resources by a llttlo work on his po
lnto patch, his agricultural labor much
derided by his parishioners; to drlvo
tho old gray maro twenty miles and
l; e k bo that ho can preach tho funer
al sermon over nn old parishioner; to
I o on tho run from week's end to
week's end and find time to write his
siunons only through the pious dlpio
roaey of his wife, to ho preachor, lec
turer, almoner, unofficial overseer of
tho poor, man ot business, general
public character, counsellor and agent
and everybody's friend and servant
seven days a week for tho lovo of
Cod and J300 a year on an average'
Decidedly If wo had a lazy young
friend we should advlso him to enter
the Methodist ministry. Illshop Fovr
lei must have been Joking.
"NOT TUB ONLY PEBBLi."
In reply to remarks mado In an ar
ticle In tho Bulletin of May 4th, In r
garel to the record of sugar manufac
tured In oho week by tho Olaa Mill
ond signed by Sugar boiler and Ewn
sr.ylng that tho man who wroto tho
nrtlclo claiming tho record for Olaa
('ill was behind tho times, I will say
that he was not very far behind, as
up to a fow weeks ago, when Ewa
started to grind with two 9 roller
mills, Ewa's record was 1,050 tons. In-
eliding No. 1 nnd 2 sugars for a full
week's run.
Of course, Olaa docs not claim to bo
nblo to compcto with n 250 or 300 ton
mill, with which Ewa Is supposed to
bo equipped. Dut Olaa did and docs
claim to have tho record for a 9 roller
mill. Olna at present Is shipping 175
to 180 tons of sugar, polarizing 97 do
grecs and over dally, and can do moro.
Ewa has held tho banner for a 9
roller mill for a long time, and It Is
l.urd to give It up. Ewa mill has dono
wonderful work, but nt present "Thcro
nro others."
A CANE SQUEEZER.
BUBONIC PLAGUE IN RATS.
Washington, April 10. The efforts
of tliu Philippines Commission to re
duce tho number of rats In Manila aro
meeting with much success. In n re
port on tho subject forwarded to tho
War Department hy tho commission,
Major 1, M. Mans, Surgeon, U. S A,
nnd Commissioner of Public Health In
Vunlla, says that between September,
1901, and February 1, 1902, 33,772 rats
huvo been caught by the official rat
citchcrs and natives. Of this number
30 780 were examined for Infection nt
the Health Hoard's laboratory. Two
hundred and twenty-nine bubonic
plague rats were found, or seven
te nths of 1 per cent of the number ex
amlned. In January, 16,770 rats were
examined, and of these, firty-ono were
fcund to bo Infected, three tenths of
1 per cent for tho month, "from which
It would appear," says Major Mans,
"that tho dlBeaso among rats Is grad
ually disappearing. Should tho plague
entirely disappear from the rodents
thcro would bo n strong probability of
tho termination of tlie present epi
demic "
No plagtio cases wcro reported In
January'. The last case was reported
December 24. 1901. Eighteen cases
occurred In Mnnlla In 'January, 1900,
und four In January, 13CT, In 1900 the
dlseaso was most prevalent In March,
when 04 cases occurred, whllo In 1931
the climax was reached In May, with
121 cases. Every house In which In
fectcd rats were found was remodel
ed, cleaned and disinfected.
BI8HOP WHO STANDS BY BIBLE,
Rochester Union and Advertiser.
A recent confirmation scrvlco at
Christ Church In this city was
n arked hy a vigorous address by
Illshop Walker of the Diocese of West
ern New York on the attitude which
the Church should take toward the
Wide. Bishop Walker Is ono who
holds consistently nnd unswervingly
to tho teaching of the Book from tho
first to tho last.
"I would impress upon ou who
havo taken this great step in life tho
importance of study of tho Bible."
fculd he, "nnd I also dcslro to empha
size tho importanio of rovcrenco and
ccrcfuly study of nil its teachings
Some, speaking from tho pulpit even,
would toll you thnt thero are certain
portions which nre to bo followed, and
oihers which aro not winTliy of se
rious belief. I say to jou that tho III
ble has stood the attacks of ages nnd
elands today firm and unshaken.
"Let ihe thought that thoso who
hevo sought to belittle portions of tho
Bible have gone nnd are forgotten bo
tho proof to jou that It 1b divinely In
Blred. You should read nnd study It
ns a whole receiving Into your Inner
nnst beings nil tho wealth of divine
teachings which Its pages contain."
Bishop Walker Bald that tho Now
Testament Is veiled In the Old Tcstn
mrnt, nnd that the Old Testament Is
unveiled In tho new. Ho urged grcnt
tr nttentlem to the Old TcBtnment and
Kb doctrine.
NEW POEM BY DICKENS.
I From the Philadelphia PreBS.l
An unpublished poem from tho pen
of Charles Dickens was read by Mrs
Alieo Mcjncll, of London, to tho
members of tho Contemporary Club
and their friends during an address
on "Charles Dickens as a TInn of Let
ters."
This verse, the manuscript of which
Is years old, is hero printed for the
tlrel time:
"I put In a book once, by hook or by
crook,
Tho whole raco, as I thought, of a
feller.
Who happily pleased the town'i
tnsto. much diseased.
And tho name of (his person was
I found to my cost thnt ono Wei
ler I'd lost;
Cruel destiny so to nrrango It;
I lovo nor denr nnme, which has won
mo somo fame,
But great heavens' how gladly I'd
ehnngo It'"
Tho poem was written shortly nfter
Dickens hnd been presented to tho
jeiung woman mentioned by him In
tho lines, and was read by Mrs Moy
mil with tho permission of tho worn
an herself,
iiit i H-iiiitt it it Hi tit
CURIOUSCRINKLES
By LANAI LOUNGER.
-M"H"i-M HIIHtMtMt
They say England Is slow, but a
patent mcdlclno pamphlet containing a
complete dictionary, received from
London by last mall comes near to be
ing Yankee.
The man who proposed a street car
nival for such a mixed population as
Honolulu's ought to bo elected to stand
In tho coon's place behind tho perfor
ated canvas of the Aunt Sally side
show, j. .j. a.
Two baseball matches on one field
each Saturday afternoon In tho league
scries Is equally progressive to Unclt
Tom's Cabin with two Markscs tho
lawyers, the greatest theatrical step In
ndvanco since the time of Theodore
Hook.
41
Tho ambitious reporter who was told
there was a big scoop at Lewis & Co.'s
store was, on arrival there, shown the
largest size kept In the sugar bin,
"So long as grass grows and water
runs" would make a brief leasehold in
Honolulu, unless the jardbcry were
kept busy with the hose ond the W. W.
Inspector dosed constantly with sleep
ing pills.
Slnco the Territorial Delegate has got
one hill passed through Congress, he
may bo expected to "Bob" up serenely
next election nnd tell how he did It.
j. .j. .j.
Tho change from monarchical to re
publican forms In Hawaii has not yet
resulted In abolishing the local affinity
for figureheads to embellish public offi
ces and decorate popular movements.
I-
There Is no better way to ensure pub
licity for outrageous rumor in Ilono
lulu than to keep decorous truth "out
of the papers."
4 !
Jurymen nre heard to complain of
their valuable time being wasted by
the "Immaterial, irrelevant. Incom
petent and remote" squabbling ot the
lawyers.
.j.
"Two malls In one day don't often
happen," said the Lounger nt tho post
office. "Humph, mused Jester Toylc,
"now that I think of It, most of the
twins born In Honolulu are girls"
May "Smart SeL"
Tho May number of The Smart Set
ci ens with a novclctto by Edgar Faw
cett, entitled "The Vulgarians." In
this story the author has achieved tho
lest expression of his genius. Par-
venues of Immense wealth are hero
made real before tho reader, and not
only real, but lovable as well. Tho
str.ry Is at once Ingenious and simple,
crtertalnlng and protound. It Is a
most valuable picture of American
life, and must stand as on Important
contribution to literature.
Among the short stories ot this
number aro: "The Victims of Kitty,
by Mrs. Schuyler Crownlnshleld, an
exceptionally clever pleco of work
""hrough tho Mlsl of Suspicion," a
roychologlcal study that startles the
redder, jet satisfies him In Its noble
ending; "Tho Marrlago Mcrclmnt," by
Mi ud Stepney Rawson, a delightful
picture of London social Ufa; "A Gen
f.elnan by Profession," by J. A. Rlt-
ehlc, brimful of cleverness; "Adela,"
tin Idyllc story by Justus Miles For-
man. "Tho Day of the Wedding,' by
Frank Leo Benedict, a roost dramatic
situation admirably wrought out
"The Wlfo of Shlmadzu." by Ouoto
Watanna, n dainty talo In which hu
n.or and sentiment blend exquisitely.
fnd "Tho Unconscious Detective," by
Caroline Duer, which Bhows this biic-
ce'LBful author at her best.
Everybody's Magazine.
The May number of Ever)bod's
Magazine opens with a most Interesting
article by Dr. Henry Gannett on "Fa
mous American Mountains," superbly
illustrated with photographs of the no
table peaks of the Rockies, tho Sierras
and the Alaskan Ranije. Especial!)
timely Is T. P. O'Connor's estimate of
Cecil Rhodes "Napoleon of South Af
rica." It Is a skillful character study,
representing the curious admixture of
traits which make Mr. Rhodes tho
great personality of his period. An
other valuable contribution Is Dr. W,
II. Wiley's "Man ns a Machine," in
which tho functions of the human body
are compared with mechanical pro
cesses.
From an Illustrative point of view
the May Everybody's Is particularly
good. Besides tho superb scries of
great mountain pictures, which nre
quite tho best ever published, and tho
rare water fowl, thero are drawings by
Pcnrhyn Stanlaws, Frederic Reming
ton, L. W. Zelglcr, Orson Lowell and
r, Richardson.
The Independent
Tho full list of articles and contri
butors to the forthcoming symposium
in Tho Independent of May 1, under tho
general title of "The Concentration ol
Wealth," Is as follows:
"Its Distribution in the United
Statos," U, S. Labor Commissioner Car
roll D. Wright.
"A General Survey of the Problem,"
Russell Sage, Charles II. Flint. Volney
Foster, l'rcs. James J. Hill, J. Harry
aeis.
"Its Economic Safety and Dangers.
Prof. William G. Sumner, Prof. John
It. commons.
"Its Political Hurm or Harmless
ncss," John Do Witt Warner, Gen. C
W. Grosvenor.
"Its Social Vnlno and Perils." Harrv
Thurston Peck, Mrs. Reginald dc Ko
ven, Ernest II. Crosby, Paul Elmer
More.
"The Outcome," Prof John II Chirk,
vviiuam j. nryan, Henry D, Lloyd .
.
The Bulletin, 78 cents per month.
.WiWMwtiW!ggvV
POINTED.
A Doubtful Address.
"There doesn't Bccm to bo any
chanco ot settling this dispute about
Shakespeare and Bacon on this earth.
I'll wall till I get to heaven -and then
nrl: him."
"Supposing ho Isn't there?"
"Well, then, you ask him!"
8ame Old Fare.
Hewitt was called down for fair
today.
Jcwett I am called down for faro
overy day, and Ifs boarding houso
faro at that.
An Unreasonable Complaint.
Young Husband I'm Just about
dead, putting down this carpet.
Wife Tho carpet is not heavy.
"No, but I have to work In such a
crimped position."
"Nonsense; Just Imagine you are on
your bicycle."
Why 8he Was Backward.
"Bhoa been trying to mnstcr the
bicyclo for two weeks, hasn't she?"
"Fully thnt long.
"Do you think she'll" ever learn to
rldo?"
"No," answered the knowing girl,
thoughtfully; "nt least not bo long an
sho has n real nice young man to hold
her on while sho's trying."
Not in It for Health.
"I wish ou would give" up politics,
eiinr," said tho alderman's wife. "Tho
excitement nnd worry nro beginning
In tell on your health."
"What has my health got to do with
It?" queries the local statesman. "I'm
not in politics for my health."
More Money In It
Jaspar Blcjcles nro cheaper than
over this year.
Jumpuppo Yes. The manufnctuicrs
decided thnt It would bo moro profit
Bblo to sell more wheels and mako
noney on repairs.
Hindsight.
Hovvltt My wlfo loved mo at first
Bight.
Jew ett I'll wager that she Is now
a believer In second Bight.
Case of Absence.
The Bride Do jou really love mo
bb much as over?
The Groom Oh, jes. but I don't
reallzo It fully until I go In tho smok
ing room and absent myself from you.
Think I'll go now.
A Closed Incident.
"Young man," said tho solemn look
tnr stranger, "do you drink intoxicat
ing beverages?"
"Not with strangers," said tho
Ji.ung man, as ho moved away.
Thus It will bo Been that our best
intentions sometimes strike a logical
snag.
The Head of the Family.
Me And now I Bupposo I'll have to
ntk your father's consent?
She Not at all. Just ttBk mamma.
t'ne'll take caro of papa.
Twins Named.
Friend What aro jou going to
namo tho twins?
Enthusiast ITng nnd Pong.
Exception to the Rule.
Jaggles When a man gets a suit of
e'e thes chenp ho can't resist tho temp
trtlon to tell nil his" friends exactly
what It cost.
Waggles I don't know nhout that.
Bilk gets his clothes for nothing, but
he doens't go around tolling that ho
never pays his tailor.
One Advantage.
Jaggles Is thcro less danger In
I eeiiln"g"an auto than a carriage?
Waggles There scorns to he, If
jou have marriageable daughters. I
luven't jot heard of a girl eloping
with a chauffeur.
Oh, Liberty I
Dorcas So jou womcn had a meet
ing of tho Equal night's Club todaj ?
What did jou do?
Mrs. Dorcas Drew tho color line.
True to Her Sex.
Bride of a day (aboard train) Do
stop talking a little while, dear,
Tho other half (tenderly) Why,
drllng, nre you tired of me so soon?
Brldo of a daj No, dearest; but I
am curious to henr wTiat those two
women behind us aro Baying.
Two Views.
Bostonlan Boston Is all rlghf.
Now Yorker Get out; It's a tough
place; oven tho streets aro crooked.
t
The Passing Hour.
Tubbs What hour Is It?
Dubbs Nono nt all.
Tubbs What do you mean?
DuTVbs Not jet 1 o'clock.
To Be in tTTe Fashion.
"Bring mo an oil can. I wont to per
ftimo my clothes"
"Whnt on earth for?"
"To mako people believe I run an
automobile."
Monetary Complications.
"It seems to bo a very-complicated
case. Do you think you can rake
an j thing out of It, doctor?"
"Ycb, I think bo about J200."

xml | txt