Newspaper Page Text
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fiVKNINO lltll.t.KTIH, ll)NOM)I,U. T, II.. HAIt'lUlA V. Al'ltll, 6. I0J.
.
Dooley Has Heard SOME Of The Best
Piano Players And ALL Of The Worst
Enorgy, Ambition, Cheerful
noss, Strength, n Splendid
Appotltc, and Porfect Honltli
i
Y,:'
n's ill" poor, niinls th' poor man willingly t( lo opiirf'cil. Xu lioine
is coniii(l( without tin law lnrgo niiiliopiny box lillou with M-rap-iron.
A iinmi,v is th' wiui thing that iliitiiiKuNlivis th' very poor fr'm
th' pniipor. Vc'd think n mini w crazy if hu timed two dollar u
day igi' !i)iiit tliri-o luimllicnl on u lines dhnini, A slide troinlioiie, n
Imm ilddli1, an' yet aniiy wan iv thini liiiikt" lietther miiiiuN an' look
prettier thin a pianny. A pianny ain't lialf as pood lookin' a a
thrnnk or a fohlin' lied. Kven a German enddent Imilil aniiything
homelier. It's made out iv th' nmc kind iv wood in a eollin an' it
ain't aiinytliiiii: like as well formed.
"Ve wo Honorya'i pianny whin 'twin hroiight in. All th' little
lioys mi' girl in th' neipliliorliood watched eifjlit Dutchmen totin' it
in mi their stomach:', which, lliiim!y, is a (termini laborin' man n
snlntitchoot. f'r- ann. Th' inonter carrid away th' dure en-he,
knocked th' top oil th' 8tiiirpo-t, npwt th' atove, an' kicked pr-rent
hole in th' plnsther. Whin it was dhropped on th' llnre it shook
down th' bust iv Dan'l O'Councll an' th' pitchers fr'm th' wall. Ye.
wint into th' parlor that nifilit an' near jumped out iv e'er Inwits
whin yo ceo n grinnin' moiithcr, blind, with it horrid row iv black
Summer' day whin I'vo''"1 yellow teeth exposed to ye, an it "jr-ront coarse lwdy reMin on
tlin nr-rii iileniifiil mi' ' hiiL'o bow lei;. A liinnnv in th' twilidit look like wan iv thiiu '
Miniiiariuo moniuer c r-rcau iiimnii
'K'HK mor nrlv, raid Dooley.
Y'." -".lid Mr. Hetnwmv. "Titer wis nawthln' lo do
. ..in ii tit.. i
an l tiioiiirii I n run ocrou wane noiioryn whs iumh ncr
lillisie Icmoii."
"It' n prann thing, miwic," said Mr. Dooley.
"It i." said jMr. llennewy wtdly.
"I'm rriuy about it," said 2t'r. Dooley. "I don't know what there
in about tit jmwer iv muic, but it I in n tnr-rble eileet on me. An'
If thin1' win, pure iv mimic that tmivw mp more thin tinny other
.'tin tli' five tiiip-r exen-iN. 'n that wliat Ilonoryu was playin' i"
"It wni." said Mr. lloiinessv.
"I thought no," said Mr. Donley. " 'Tin th' eonipoitioit I'm
ihost fainilyar with. I don't know how.jnnnny millyon time l'vo
heerd it, but ivry time it given me a new thrill, a kind iv th' jump
that I don't grt ir'tti dhrink or tobneeo. Whin I hear it thrain
ponrin' fr'm th' window next dure L am othraiigidv excited. I
ceaie to be th' sordid, uionry-lovin', practical man ye know. I'm
lifted out iv meilf. 1 long to quit me buincss an' go into th'
wild. T pace th' room. 1 tear out me hair in handful. I lieat on
th' wull with mo lit. Take a jowl hot
lxjcit up iiitmt iv th' night hefure an' tlr
fli" fiw. )lim.r i.vnr,.;... im nmttluM- limv iiiiuwnitelv nlnved. make Milimiiriiio innintiiers c
rtm think I've art tb" artistic tiinnrninint. ulthoiigh 'otherwise a man "hi times whin men dhrci-ed lie gettin
. 1 I . . I At
.n tiiat why, t uptoe, ye we so iniinny piaimie iir-rotinil.
If nobody ele injxe thim, th' people that play tliim doc. ()fi'y like
me siiigin' in me luitli room they ought to perforin in private."'
"I feel kind iv sorry f'r lit' -music teacher," said .Mr. IIeuney.
"It' a hard life," said .Mr. Dooley. "Hut she must get a good
deal iv satisfaction out iv knowin' that th' window ar-re open. Th'
wan fr'm next dure alway seem to'eheer up whin she sec me faco
ufther tli lcon."
I
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iv clane habits who shave four time a week. I
llirl v.. iviii nritiiw 1ii.iv tli uu-nn, 11111411 i- ii nitmiiv dlimwn-i all
.i .'.. i v .. .!.. .....t ....ii !.;., .';.,. .,:..i,iu.,..llcgs cud carry
hood. Hut th' throlley cur may k claugin' by, a man may be
shinglin' th' roof, th' people upstair daucin' a breakdown an' a
couple iv Germans at th' front dure debatiu' whether they will play
ten pin or pinochle a week fr'm Sunday, an' all I can hear i
dorcinifasollaido, donilasolfarcinido fr'm .Mi- Mary .McGraw next
dure, who weigh a hitudherd mi' live Huud an' cudden't inako
wiitnd enough to lie heerd if she wa leadin' th' ace iv spade in a
card guine. It ain't a loud noise, d'ye mind. It don't shatter ye'er
hoarin'. It slip into what llogtui call th' chanibei- iv ye'er ear,
snuggle down elo-e to th' dhriim an' goo to wurrk with an auger.
f i ..I I C. M . 1 1. - 1 1
'?i rve Known a man wiiu a large iani ly iv giri who m ruipuncu
i ' to edit a iinoomntic hauiiner on a sky-era per paii-o with a look iv
iiuguish on hi face an' curse as a lady in th' house next dure begun
th' five linger exorcise.
"Me neighbor give me a concert ivry moruiii'. She wa jint
through whin ye come in. Th' iuiiie teacher arrived at ten o'clock
u' at ten live Mithcr McGraw boorded an east bound ear in th'
direction iv th' lake. I had to stay. Thing that will dhrivo a man
fr'm home won't dhrivo him fr'm a saloon. Th' entertainment
begun an' wint on to it usual leuth. I've got it timed exactH-, f'r
th' music teacher i hired be th' hour. She' inntchooatcd with th
lilavin' iv her pupil, but whin I peeped in wan day 1 see her lookin'
nt th' clock. I've got th' performance limed lo th' miuyit, but I can't
help it, ivry day I give way In numnnly hope that I may lie wrong. 1
think me clock mav ve stopped, lull it iia-u t. I Inn I hope tli muic
teacher or th' pianny will jump out iv th' window or, Guwd f'rgivc
mo, something will happen to th poor gin iitirsilt. I pray to Keep
fr'm thinkin' that th' iiiuocint voting thing may luckily -ipia-h a
knuckle, not hail, d'ye mind, but enough so that 1 can get m me wur
ink with Dock O'l.cnry an' have him tell her if she doesn't stop prae
lisin' f'r awhile she'll niver be able to get a weddin' ring on her
liujrer. lint uawtliiu Ivor happens. At th end iv tli lialt hour sims
n- fr-nh a iver while I've hardly strength to kick th' dog.
"Afther these preiiiii'narie th' thrainer linuln out 'Th' March iv
!Norma or 'Th' Tilly iv th' Uig'mint.' Ilaviu' an extcn-ive acipiaiit
tance among th' murrid with faui'lie I know thim two gr-ieat wur
ruks be heart. Th' inii-ie teacher set on a small chair alongside th'
pianny Monl an' me ueiglilNtr set on th' pi unity stool. It isn't high
enough to givo her th' proper reach f'r th' back molar teeth iv th'
piunny an' she get up an' twi-ts it. Thin she set down again an'
look- uudheriicath th' pianny to see if sho's got her fret right on th'
pedals; her faco assume.- an expression iv a man almut to mnko a
dillicult pool shot f'r th' corner pocket; th' inii-ie teacher begins:
'One an' two an' three- an' wan, two, three.' Thin I hear: 'Duui
dum to': a wail; thin, 'Duin. Duui to duui, lo duui, te '; another
.. . . , j , .. . ,t
iJiini te dum, itiiii te iiiiiii; dum to dum.' Mie
not afraid to wound, h th' iiol( a, slie' afraid
to sthriko. ill she do it i I ak mesilf. ill she hit that note or
will she de-ert her post like a cow'rd an' lave me su-jiinded in th' air
no mo uciiin teetn : l-can t set still waitiir tr her decision. I paco
th room; I pluel naivoiisly at me buttons; I look at th clock; I thry
to thinkiv something more pleasant like where "I'm goin' to get th'
rent nionev; an' fin'lly a th' iiiiuuyits lly into year I rush to th'
wiikiow an can out: r r iiivcuh saKe. .Mttrv vnn, wallop it. mio
wild be free thitiwilve tnii-t sthriko th' blow. Hit it, drtrlint, an'
save me last rciuaiuiii' llickcr iv intilligcnce.'
''This is th' way it goes, alanna: 'Dum to dum te Dum.' She
doesn't hear me, but suddenly sho determine to make th' plunge.
Inspired be th" Gawd iv Music her hand discinds with incredible
bwifliiev un' hit th' wrong note! Oh, Ilinnissy, did inn
vo iii th long an reg lar slojie iv a chiine yo know well an hate woivo
on'y to thrip ye just at th' exit 'Ti- like wan iv thim bad dhreiim
whin ye fall oil th' top iv a high buildin' oii'v here 'li- nof in Ik-iI ve
wake up, but in a dentist's chair with a man pro-pectin' f'r th' nerve-
IV a tooth that seems to have roots in th sole iv ,e er feet.
"I on'y know afther this that th' music le-on is goin' on th' way
a man Unit's hepn shot be th Indyan- know hoV hein' scalped. At
iliven o clock th' teacher goea away an' me neighbor play: 'Walt.
mo around again, Willie' wjth wan finger, 11'rnii- th' thumb. T take
a gr-real inthreat in that young lady. I think a lot nliout her futum
i nope ii win not ne long nejuio siio marries a rich vouiig niinor
friii Sitka, Alaska.
"Well, whin ye come to think iv it, 'ti sthrjiigo that not hein'
contint with th' noise we e.tn make with our own mitlmil faces, all
mankind does be iiiviutiu' in-tbrunient out iv wood, iron, leather,
un' ivory, to scrape, to hit, to blow jnlo, to pluck or to nudgo with th'
elbow an' projooee dilT'ient kinds iv noise that th' Germans call mil
flic. Th' Gorman tell in what i music an' what ain't. Wan kind
iv noiso is liiuaic an' another kind isn't. 1 don't know when to dhraw
th' line. ft. ain't music to file a saw, hut it i- music to give a poor
imitation iv film' a saw on a fiddle. Wan man blows info n'fluto
mi' I say: 'TlintV a disagteo'hle noise.' '.Vo,' say th' German,
'Unit's music. Another man blown into hi colTeo an' I say: 'Tlloro's
wait; thin. 'Dum.
waver; sho stop-;
music.' 'Xo,' says th'
"Tiikii th pianny.
house (hut doesn't. M.
fliMmKwgisr;
Geriuan, 'that's n disagrecible noise,
In all thi broad land ye won't baldly find a
Jfirjl.IlliUJnv. J tie i an'.pourii tikftJ iPivtuLIiavo
71..IV. ?WF,(,YJwWrlW-rl"--'- ;' '
in th iia-apcrs, lctics iv tit
out iv bed an' kilt each other
with stone hammer iu-tead iv railroad. It might aisily have slime
fr'm th' liottoni iv th' sea on it. Look Us.it gapin' luoiith. If it fat
it fast enough a small mouthful It wttd make iv vc,
llinniv. In th' twiiikliu' iv an evo it cud gobble ye up, grind e
with iU wicked chronuitic scale an' swallow ye into its fearful inteer-yor.
"I'orehiiilely it i a slow an timid inonsther like all that come up
fr'm th' ImiwcIs iv th' sea. It niver move or attacks tinny wan but
whin hurt, whin aniiy wan slap its mouth it give forth a thin little
squeal. To seo th' size iv tli'-jiimmy an' to 'hear its weak cry whin
aailed i wait iv th' most melancholy thinks 1 know iv. l'e'il think
this gr-rcat, huge inonsther whin sthruck wild belch forth a roar that
wild blow off" tli' roof. Hut no. Out- iv its vast cavern, full iv iron
lods, bolls, screw, wire, wood, and varnish comes a trickling little
cry f'r help like a chicken lost in a storm. 'Ti a if an elephant
clucked. Afther awhile ivrybody takes libertiei with in. ilonory.i
can t go by it without phivin' a few miteps fr m a popyhir waltz,
th' littlo Ikiv run their dirty thumbs ucrot it to make it squeal, an'
iin'lly yo u-e it to storo ye'er cull an' hat. ,
"I'vo often wondhered what music is annyhow, lliuuissy. I don't
like pianny niuic, though I'vo heerd some iv tlr 'best player an' all
th' worst in mo time. I'vo seen thim all fr'm a ydiuig lady that made
a score iv four out iv a possible ninety-three to a fellow that got down
elo-e to th' pianny an' played it be winkin' again tli' key. Whin
he got through th' ladies in th' aujeeueo climbed on th' stage an'
ki ed him. As I looked at th' ladies Mercy sthruggled with .Intice,
but a I looked at th' fellow .Justice triumphed, an' 1 says lo mesilf:
'It surve yo right. It serve yo both light.'
"What's music uniiyhow, I'd liko to know. Th' Chiiiymau down
th' sthrcct whin he's siut th' lust shirt home to th' wrong niaii can
get a lot iv fun settin' ar-rouud with his friuds (in Saturday night
bo hittiu a gong with a stick whin ho thinks iv il. I can't keep mo i
leet on th ground whip blind Clancy is wheedlin' th 'Itoeky Kood
out iv th' pipes an' nawthin' but a four-ilivon firo.wud take me away
fr'm it bras band, llogan, who's gr-rcat f'r all kinds, wanst took
mo to hear what he called th' higher music. There were sixty or
siventy Geriuan men phivin' on dilt'rcut insthriihients. .Some were
scrapin' an' some were lilowiu' an' some were thumpiu' an' a lady
with a harp plucked fr'm time to time on that cotithrnytiou. A largo
man stamliu' up in front pintcd at wan section or another with a stick
lo tell thim whin to begin. He'd pint to th' fiddlers an' they'd fiddle,
ho'd glare at th' man with th' slide throinbono an' he'd shoot out. his
fist a yard; ho'd nod to th' lady with th' harp an' she'd pluck three
times at th' sthring an' resume her nap; suddenly something made
th' largo iiiiiii angry; ho got red in th' face an' looked to bo about to
throw his club at. a red-headed man in th'hack row.
"I'd Ik-cii watchin' thi fellow f'r a long time, un' T seo ho'd liecii
sojerin'. 'Yo'ro caught now, mo lad,' say 1. An' ho was. Whin
ho seo th' angry expression on th' Im' faco ho-jumped up an' bate
upon a dliruni which i called a kettle dhriini, fr'm th'wurrud kettle
an' dliruni, outil th' dliruni stick bounced in th' air. At th' sound
th' other performers were aroused to mildness, an' stampeded. They
got away fr'm th' leader. lie cudden't do annything with thim. Ho
raged, ho shook hi fists at thim, he begged, he pleaded, he threatened
first on wan side, thin th' other. Th' crazy Germans rayfused to ca'ni
down. They scraped, they pounded, they blew, no wint pnyin' niiny
attiutinn to annywan else. Th' sounds bumped each other liko men
thryiu' to escape fr'm a burnin' buildin', weak sound were thrampled
undher foot be bully notes fr'm th' slidtthroinbone.
"Th' lady with th' harp reached over an' hit th' sthring. T see
with me own eyes th' red-headed man take a nuuiiii' jump at his
kettle dhriim. A desprit Geriuan climbed up in th' organ loft an'
opened th' stop-cock. New iiisthruments were inthrujooced, as th' old
wans were denthroyed. Wan mail bate u wash htler with a monkey
wrench; Another rang a ,hell; some coughed; others whistled; n can
non wa fired; a charge iv dinnyinito exploded an' th' concert was
over. As we came out into th' almost uncanny stillness undher th'
limited' rinlroad llogan says: 'lie's u gi-reat eonjposcr, Iticluird
Stimuli".' 'Who did he iver eoinpo-ej' says I.
"-Vo, Sir, what's wan mini's music, is another pian's noise. Theie'a
on'y wan kirn) that wo all like, an' that's th' kind wo make oiirsilves.
Yo take me. .Mo frind ar-re not unanimous in sayiu' that I have a
mclojous voice. Whin I attitupt to sing at a Christ'uin' or a weddin'
rather Kelly alway u-es hi old joke an' asks mo why I don't rent
out some iv me Hat. Yet mo video sound 'agreeable to me. In th'
bathroom in th' mornin' I sing in a way that charms me. Mo notes
ar-re full an' mellow an' I woudher why it is no wan has been along
to pay me live thousand dollars a night to warble f'r thim. If I cud
dacintly invite tit' wurriild to me bath room to hear mo sing 'tis littlo
thought they'd have iv sindin' to It'ly f'r their tak'iit. Such volume,
such sweetues-, such variety, such tcmlliorues. Think iv itl 'A most
brilliant an' fas'u'ble aujeeueo gathered in th' 'bath room to hear
Signor Dooley givo hi- eillybrated rinditiou iv 'Homo Sweet Homo.'
Th' diiiion' horse shoo blazed with jools. I
"Among thoJ) prisint was Hut 1 shudden't go on. P'ra)
'tis just, as well that thorn ain't anny audjeenee. I iujyo it nil th'
more. I'm liko that there king I read about in th' pa-npors that Used
to have th' opry performed f'r hiinsilf alone, "'is a gr-rcat luxury
i r mo id sei in mo uiaguiiicini tun an listen lo In huoHt tenor m
CreamPureRye
The
WHISKEY
America's Finest
Production
Rich and Mellow
Lovejoy & Co.,
AgentH,
902-914 Nuuanu Street. 'Phone Main 308
Importers and Dealers in Fine Wines and Liquors.
.WWWMWMSiWWWWAIWWVWVVIMWWWWWWWVWW"
GOOD WORDS FOR
The Harrison Mutual Burial Ass'n.
ny lio pcurel tjr nil wli" follow Ida
eiMnp'oo' tho j-ourg W who g this
tMtlmonl.il :
"Ktsrjr nrrlnc for jmr. 1 tiwil to btyo
Intolcralilo lifaiuclin nml tntal ! of n
rCT, o tint lli truKni Willi Ii slunitil I
wrlcomM lijr mo w n ilrrail; for, tin
wwm.iilraunt iljjrrliril, tin jr I roiiuhl to
mo hwltuilo nnJ rain. A frlcnJ aJfUeil luo
to tako
Ayer's
Sarsaparilla
t commr need uilnff It nml Iiatp hot luwWlnro
then the flrtt )mjitoni of hmiUchc. Hy
lletltn lnplrii(ll(t.ntiilIetfiiiniii7ilutlM
wllh a cheer fiilnrM iiitl r-rjr. jrtMUnrirle
mplf. I tftUo ilfftnro In tolling nil tny
Xrlenilinf to inrrlt nf Ayrr'f KtrNip.irilUi,
and tholiaipy results f Iliusp.''
' There arc many Imitation
Sarsaparlllas.
Be sure you get "AYERS."
pfipirtJbyDf.J.C.A?crtuTuwtll,,'Uii.,U.S..
ATEIl'3 riLLe,thbtfunll laxtlro.
Legal Notices.
Oentlcmcn: Your Association not only assures every
member of a proper and decent burial at a very small cost,
but relieves others of a responsibility they are not always
prepared to meet. Yours respectfully,
FATHER H. VALENTIN.
ANOTHER MESAQE FROM REV. MR. TARKER.
Gentlemen: I cheerfully-give my indorsement to the
Harrison Mutual Burial plan and believe it a great bene
fit to the community. Very tiuly yours,
II. H. PARKER.
NOTICE OF FORECLOSURE OF
MORTGAGE.
In nrconMuo with the lnovlslcniH
of a certain inortKUKO iniiilo tiy .1. K.
NaKllit and Mrs. Isabella Naldl.i, his
wife, liHirlsnnors, of Kliialiitln, Coun
ty 'of Maul iJlul Territory of Hawaii,
to Klpnlutlti SiiRnr Comiiauy, a ur
liorutlon organized and cxtstliiR, un
der and by virtue ot the InWH of said
Territory, mortgagee, dated 22nd day
ot December, A. D. 1900 and record
ed la tbo olllco ot the ItcKlstrar of
Conveyances In I.lb. -213, Kola. I3r
to 438, N'otlco Is hereby given that
tlio Raid MurtKHRcu Intends (to fore
clone tlio Bitiao fur roadltlnns buiUcii,
to wit: nun-iuymciit gt lirlnclpul mid
Interest. ,
Notice Is llliewlso rjlvcn Unit after
tlio uxilratlon of tlueo coubecutlvu
wceloi from tlio (Into ot publication ot
this notice, tlie xuld nuirtKiiKeo juiiii
ed la said mortKUKo Intends to and
will foreclose tlio k.iiiio mid will ad
crtlo and offer for salo tlio juoii
irty covered and convoyed Uioreln,
and will sell tlio snuio at imbljc auc
tion at tlio auction moms of James
K. Morgan, in Honolulu, Territory ot
Hawaii, oil .Monday, jArlt 22nd, A.
Dj 190T, at 12 o'clock noon. Tlio
following' Is a description of said
property:
Twenty acies la It. 1 17fil to T.
Nnlilla situate at I'liiialu, Kipahuhi,
District of liana, Island ot Maul.
I'lirtlierpartlcularB may bo bad of
Henry K. Cooper, Attorney for Klpa-
liulu SiiKiir Company, inorlBiiKee, at
his olflco in tlio Judd IIuIIiIIiib, Hono
lulu. T. II.
Dated IIoiiolulii, T. II., March 28,
A. J). 1907.
KII'AIIUI.U SUr.AU COMPANY,
lly K. KliAMI'.
Secretary.
:ir.i- Mar. 30; Apt. 0, 13, 20.
For further information consult '
J. H. TOWNSEND, Sc'cy.
KAPIOLANI BUILDING, ALAKE AAND KING, STS.
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iv i JKl 111
IO I
lrs i ' " -yTT tTTB
.r - c 5rfJfl
EVERYBODY IS
SATISFIED WITH
- The
Leonard Cleanable
Refrigerator
It is economical both as to
a saving of labor and food.
We have received a large new"
stock of Leonards. Come and
look them over,
H- Hackfeld & Co., Ltd.,
Wholesale Agents
Bargain Sale'
o OF o
ladies' Underwear
Fancy and plain coiort; medium
and belt grades of: Corset Coven.
Petticoats, Night Gowns, Drawers,
Chemises and a Bio .Assortment of
Laces.
Sale Prices Are Almost Half Reg
ular Prices.
Don't MIjj This Chancel
NEW LINES OF EMBROIDERY &
L. AHOY,
NUUANU bet. HOTEL 4 KING Sts.
iXIdniy and
irjHHurai
rffmiimrmnfmfTfmttffn
Qladdar Troubles
URINARY
DISCHARGES
rtCUKVKD IN
24 Hours
Kacli Can s
ulo bears (MIDY,
tlio rumcCi
Jefartr-'ountereui
ALL lUll'lHUSm
uuiuttt4Uituttttttttumtttuuiui
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Uiki'iLiW'Ai"?i"t.'lw .U'ii-,.iwi'Biiij)rA.i-feauj-iiwt', MUb jtUijuBl-IN 75c pepmonth
swdiimR'nvrv &rswn:'Wr?'''''-Zkx!'',yr'; " . vwt&w&tt&wiWzSmfcjwa,
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Chinese Goods
Wing Wo Tai & Co.
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a '.
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