Newspaper Page Text
18
EVENING dULLeTIN, HONOLULU, T. H., SATURDAY, OCT. 7, 1911.
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Ii Ye Old English Scribe
On French Dinner Et Al
Did j mi cut licm (if Secretary
Jtoft-Smllli'H liri'ilk'iiment whrn lie
'found lilmsolf nt ;i I'rcmli dinner unci
;im Mr,v Hlmky on lih ItmmlpilRo n
'! LilifiiliiRi'? Ve ki'iIIm' tt.is lulkliiB
'in Biniir imi iliirlnn n cr-k wlm Imp-
pcmil Id lie there :iliil lie.inl je hIoij
KmT.MIiIiir Iiih Iho Hides. Vc
Brrlhe's fileml him one erslon of jo
'fliiry, mill "Motl" li.n c oilier. I"
order lh.it there fIi.iII lie no i limit n
of e Krrllio iiintilni; Into n libel
Full, he now prints liolli ernlonn
without mi) miillie iiforrthoiiKht or
itfloitluniglit
Herewith plonc Hud je eralon of
jo prent mid noble Secretary of e
Torrltoi, lntt-Siiiltli Ve mrllie was
III Ikh iiII'ho one time when ho told It
lis follonH "I had n uirloiii expert
euro ome," he opened un, anil o
Fcrllie prlrhed up h mm, for when
li)n rrlend ".Mnll" open up In dills
wny there is like to he mniietliliig lin
ing "I met a 1'reneli a'iIiiiIiiiI during
Iik sln In port, mid while I., was
holding ilnnii yo lid which ye (lo
ernor Ii.ul Inadvertently left open hy
JoiiriietiiK to one of e other Irlnnds,
I trealeil o old sport In light Hi) a I
manner, and naturally he' h.nl to runic
Ihmtmli with an Invitation ton French
dinner on hoard hs Rood ship
"I iirei pted licfmo I thought what
I u.ik doing, and onlv after did I
remember that pcraiheiituie I would
lime to make a Kppei.li In 1ik lan
guage During e next threo das I
left orders with genial SeiTelary Med
enlr that on no account was any one
to be nduiltti'il, and In fact I b.irrl
tnileil mvself In ve (iiiveriior's private
room with ve Fielieh dli tlniuir. At
e end of that period I had compiled
ii speech which I pride imrelf would
Inke a lot of beating Armed with
tills I retired to mv beach lioiifo and
linrnt ll off by heait, practicing on
r invrl.nls of inoHiilloes that are
wont lo II v about ve beach during
p eool of ve evening Iiy je time
I had learnt It off most of Ibem weiu
buxzlng In I'lencli luslead of lla
vvnllnn. "At l.nt ve night of ve dinner came
iiround, and I went on board ami was
hhown In e seat of honor next to my
Irlend ve Admiral Kvery time Jo
othors laughed I laughed loo, for I
toillil not follow Just exactly what
they were saving At je end of je
twentj-llfth course in v filcuil ye d
lulral iron on hvs html tegs and uiniln
jo be-iutlful soeccli Then, bowing
low, he tinned to me and tutliu.tteil
thai I shon'il do ve same
"I run' and slatted You should
have rcen those Trench gujs They
were more astonished than 1 was. I
hail je old Admiral stumped, though,
for he could not answ'er mo In Eng
lish iih lie would have liked Sud
denly I saw him confer with n friend
of lijs who spoke .Hngllsh, nnd In n
few minutes more he got up mid made
me u speech lit Cngllsh, hirvlng man
aged to inpiiinrlrc n few sentences
That vviib olio of my funniest experi
ences." Here, without any comment at all,
Is ye story of jo scribe's friend 11"
bad read je foregoing, mid when he
Mulshed It he grunted "Humph!"
"Well," Inquired jo scribe, "Is It je
coricct dope?" "Part of It Is," ho
icpllcd "Mottj went to je dinner, all
right, nnd also he nimlc c speech!
likewise were je Frenchmen more as
tonished than Motty.
"I was there, mvself," ho supple
mented, "and heard ve whole thing
Mottv stood up ami made u line start,
but then something In hjs thinking
apparatus went wrong Ho forgot
what ye word In Kicncli for was that
meant dinner, mid ho made livs tlrst
bleak 'C'cst un beaucoiip' and then
he stuck. What he should have ended
with was, of course, 'diner,' but ho
could not think of It, mid so he stuck
In 'luau' Instead And so It went on,
until at last the Krcbchmeii didn't
know what he was talknlg about.
Toward the end they could only catch
a word heie mid there, but as .Molly
kept on smiling nil the time they kept
on laughing, and poor old Motty
thought that ho was making n great
hit
"Next time he vviints to prepare any
French spenhos he had better loine
along to imp .Mv great uncle went
for ii Cook's tour through France one
time, and I guess I know- just about
as niiieh Ficneh as Motty."
Park lining.
(lone are ve ilajs of splendor, when
je great wall was around yo Capitol
gioiiuds when if ono of ve common
serfs dared so iiiudi as to put hjs
nose through jo crack he w'as kilted
offhand Now je tlotsam and Jcti.uu
of Honolulu are wont to gather there
Punic of je folks who a id to bo
fccii now lire regular habitues, or
"dossers," as je scribe's Aiistiallnn
friend likes to call them It means
Just u giailo higher than hums and
souuiIh a nicer word, for some of c
lurk folk are not cpilln bums. Many
of them nro right along opposite lines.
Among jo latter are sumo old gen
tlemen who love to sit on one of .ye
benches nnd talk from enrlv In jo
morning until lunch time. They all
have seen things here when they wero
more strenuous than they are at yo
present time, and most of them have
wjilto bushy whiskers. They havn a
llttlo club of their own there. There
nru Jiu hvlujj) or regulations c.iilet'j
or needed Occasionally they have
wrangles, hut not often There ii6ed
to he (Miltc a number of them at ono
time, but now they have fallen off
until there mo only n few.
And the matters that como up for
discussion before them! Nothing Is
too great nnd nothing tod trivial.
They discuss the political affairs of
jo nation, and tako Just as much In
terest In them as though each ono of
them vvns ye President. And then
thci llttlo things they gel down to!
They will discuss mijthliiR mil every
thing. When they have a particularly In
teresting subject on hnnd they lako
It In turns lo sit on the bench. Usu
ally (hreo of them arc on their feel
talking at once, while the others group
around the bench nnd net as the audi
ence There nro others, however, who
visit the park, nnd of late It tins be
come ipiltn noticeable that there urn
a number of real bums getting around.
Some of llipin i oino up there to sleep
off the effects of a drunk down town,
whllo others aro Just naturally lary
and would rather lie about anil sleep
all day than work
Still It will bo a great pity If they
nre allowed to drive jo women nnd
children out of the park. Ye scrlbo
used to sec a lot of thlldrcn running
nhout thcie In (ho afternoons, white
their nurses sat around and miiilo
ejes at jn policeman on jo heat
Now they luivo moved elsewhere nnd
the policeman has gono with them,
while the heterogeneous crowd has
taken possession.
(Jelling it Paragraph.
Yo scribe's Australian friend told
hym ii good story last week, mid ho
gives ll us follows, in jo Australian's
own laiiguagu:
"I never rend jo report of a big
'mission' or religious revival," ho said,
"without u glad recollection of n night
when n hard chivied reporter roso In
a big halt In Sjdney mid lamined
anathema down. the. throat of u boss
mlssloncr. The Shifter (which nmuu
will lit hym us well as another) had
to report n 'gathering ' Hut the
Shifter wqtil to get vacflnnteil tlrst,
or something like that, mid only
reached the hull as the meeting was
breaking up. Adopting the usual
course, he asked the head man of the
show, who leaned down from the
stage to hear the rouuest, for a para
graph. "'And what paper do you repre
sent?' said the boss, with' it look that
a horso wears when It Is going lo
kkk like the end girl of a music hall
show.
" 'Tho Morning Telegraph,' was thn
tcply.
"Straightening himself and raising
bys hands to sluv yo remainder of o
audience, je gaunt mlssloncr riled:
'Jlero Is n young man representing yo
Morning Telegraph, who comes hero
at this time of night, after .je,. great
UY
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gathering wo have had, and asks for
n paragraph. A paragraph! 1ml
ilentnlly ho is asking me to do hjs
work. Hut, friends, I can tell hym
tluil I will NOT That, sir ho con
tinued, looking down Inwards tho
Shifter, 'Is nil I have to say to joii.'
"Then llits Shlflcr pulled hjniself
up fmm jo piess table with battle
blood In hvs cjo. mid remarked Jn K
loud, decisive voice: 'And alt I have
to say to you, sir, hi (hat joii can go
lo h !"
j. ,. .;.
Tagging Vp liable.
It Is wonderful what difference of
opinion seems to exist as to babies.
Some people will tell joii that thej
nro tho greatest blessings that over
happened, whllo others have no limn
lor them nt nil. Yo scrlbo likes good
babies, but does not play up on the
bad ones.
At tho samo tliiic he would resppet
fully like to suggest that. In consid
eration of oiers like himself, all
babies sliduld bo tagged Not only
himself hut several fiiemls or his no
iiunlutnnce, Jinvn been brought Into
serious trouble tluougli the omission
of this very iwcessary matter,
Yo nveragQ man goes Into jo par
lor, and we fond mother trots out jo
baby and puts Iiym through hjs paces.
Now comes yo hard time for jo joung
num. He does not know whether to
call vc baby he or she, and generally
falls hack upon je good old expedient
of christening je small mortal "It."
Some times this will pass muster, but
at others jc fond mother and espe
cially It je hjii'y Is her llist Is Ilka
to. get migry pud call je joung man
jinnies.
tSfRJU
OR&HDlfJB'
l 3C.4MM
PIONEER
&TE0HJ
MILK
This pure, evapbrated Milk is the most
satisfactory in every way for kitchen
arid table use. It keeps indefinitely.
It is full of nutrition and butteif fet :aHd
digestive qualities.
::?r Ask Ybuifc grocer
FOR IT.
li
i"r'-'.l ll
What Is he to do? Yo babies nro
nil dresse'd In long clothes. They nil
wear hair short, have no teeth nnd
pug noses. How can liny ordinary
man bo expected to tell whether they
nro boys or girls? When they mo
grown up, even If Ihev wcio dressed
Iho same, jc girls would dn nil the
talking, iiml so they might he distin
guished, but otherwise (hem would
bo no means of finding out Talking
Is n habit jn girls seem to neiiilrn
Inter nnd one which j-c small babies
have not. .,-. .
Think how easy ll would bo If jo
mothers would only have u small tin
Sold or silver could ho used It so
required fastened through j'o enr of
j'o small darling, so (hat yo young
man could read upon It: "Hoy;
Teddy; three months; best In tho
world", mid something similar in tho
tact) of it gltl. It would fix tho wholo
matter.
Ilables should not ho allowed to
eat sticky stuff before being' handed
over to (he visitor. This would ho
much appreciated, hut It nlwnys seems
(o he too much of a temptation for yo
young mother, and she succumbs to
it. It Is yo tag question, however,
that yo scribe woiihj like to see taken
up, mid ho h'oiics (lint yo civic fedcru
Hon will bring up yo matter at itu
next meeting. ., ,, ,. ,. ,
"
Chinese sailors nsliorti drink llltln or
nut a( nil. miJ' olllcerri of (be cruiser
lint ("111. mid the conduct of the null
when In New York city bore out tho
assertion.
News
ys
wi'' lWm,lUtra
WHO CAN ENTER
Any newsboy who enters his name on the Bulletin news boy list for the annual
Thanksyiviwj dinner is eligible. It is also possible for the Bulletin Carrier Boys to figure
in the contest.
THE PURPOSE
Is just to give the Bulletin Newsboys something new anil iriferestifig for Christmas,
and something that will make the .Christmas of 1911 an especially happy one for them, as
it ought to be for all Honolulu at the close of this year of prosperity.
THE TIME
This contest will open on Monday, October 9, and close Friday cVonjng bcccmb'cr 22,
at eight o'clock. Christmas falls on Monday this year. This wlll.fjive the successful ones
all clqy Saturday in which to fill their orders, or spend their Christmas rhbney if they wish
to take the money equivalent, and get ready for a rare and royally merry Christmas.
ChristmasContest
Eyety boy wants something for the holidays, ,and the Everting Bulletin
always has good things for the boys whp are wide awake arid ready to work.
Five Major Prizes
And a NEW SUIT OF CLOTHES for every boy who comes near to the leaders;
First Hound Trip to the Volcano or its equivalent in cash
Second Gold Watch or its equivalent in cash
Shird Siilver Watch or its equivalent in cash
FourthTwenty-Five Dollar bvy Goods Order
Fifth Twenty-Five Dollar Grocery Order
, I t : j,
Tliat lagt 'Savors of the Christina diiiiier, aiid th'tit id certain to be popular with the1 ottos
TERMS OF THE CONTEST
These are the
major prizes.
There will be
Clothes and
Shoes for others
of the boys
who are workers.
The prizes will be awarded Iwo days before Christmas to the bulletin Newsboys
making the best record as ncw.s sellers. t
It is also provided that the boys may1 In7prbve.,tbeif standing tjy getting: new subscrib
ers. Provision will be made forreaders to give a ballot that will held .their Bulletin newsboy.
Each paper sold will entitle the newsboy to Five B u 1 1 e,t i n Ballots.
. , t Each subscriber to the Evening Bulletin will be entitled fq' One Mntfred ant!
Fifty Bulletin Ballots for each months' subscription to the daiN paid in advance, after
the contest opens. These ballots .may be given to .your favorite newsboy'. Ana this also
admits of the Bulletin Carrier Boys being included in the race.
Each new yearly subscriber to,thc daily E v c ri j h g B" u 1 1 e t i,n will entitle the News-
boy turning in the subscription to; Two Thousand Bulletin' Ballots. ,
Each now yearly subscriber of the" Weekly Edition of ihe Evening Bulletin en
titles the Newsboy tdrping it in to 1 00 Bulletin Ballots.
,
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