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EVENING BULLETIN, HONOLULU. T. H SATURDAY, DEC. 9, 1911.
11
I
B OLD ENGLISH SCRIBE TALKS
ON THANKFUL THINGS ET AL
:h,
Amjtnn to, CorrMpoadfnln.
M P. There. Is rid Constitutional
rule In China that cbmfcls ye min
istry to resign everjr other day, but
It 'Is done ai a generally, established
custom. X. Y. Z. Pork' and beans
gets Its name from1 ye ' fact that on
ye "Ark old man Noah stored ye bean
supply Just hear ye hogs. .Anxious
There Is no truth; In the story that
Rodrlgues8tole all ye police officers'
food' supplies and that they had to
come back. He Is .still at large.
Mother When baby Is just cutting
its teeth, It you take a knife and silt
ye gums It will assist ye teeth to
come 'through. Stegomyla The male
species of ye mosquito Is a perfect
gentleman, never biting at all. Art
istThanks for drawing; may uso
some' time when ye paper Is not pub
lished. It Is certainly a One study,
but 'would be obliged If you could say
what it Is. Kangaroo You are right
Ye. man who wrote that "colonial"
story In ye Defender must have had
a dream about being there. He seems
to have come from London originally,
and that within sound of ye Dow bells,
too.)
Thankful Things.
Perhaps It was ye Idea of having
a holiday In ye middle of ye week
that caused ye scribe to reflect dur
ing ' Thanksgiving, and then, again,
perhaps It was ye after effects of ye
turkey that he did not have. Any
way, he reflected like some of ye
grat and learned men, and as, a re
sult of nys1 deliberations he has come
to ye conclusion that this Is not such
a had old world after all, and setting
aside the fact of us being brought Into
It without being asked, we have many
things to be thankful for. ,
First of all, ye populace should be
thankful that they are alive that Is,
some of them should; the others
should think themselves lucky to be
allowed to remain In that condition
at all. That Is by. ye way, however.
Ye scribe took nil' inventory of hym
selfVon Thursday, Just to see bow
much he had to ye, good. First of all,
he (noted down n shock of red hair
ye boys nt school used to call It
ginger, but then what's In a name?
Now, there nro only a few people In
ye world that have red hair, and
therefore ye scribe can be cptinted
amongst, ye lucky ones. Then ye
scribe took notes about hys fuco. He
has to admit that he would not' win
a beauty show unless it was In the
booby class, but even this ls an ad
vantage, for ye. fair and lovely chorus
glrlsat ye bljoti will not be falling
In love with hym and then getting
hym Into trouble with hys wife.
Neither, likewise, will he be likely
to suffer from ye swelled hend and
strut down ye street as If he owned
It all.
Ye ears are rather on ye large size,
and stick out a little on each slilo.
This, again, Is an advantage, from ye
fact that he can hear everything that
Is going on around hym. He Is pigeon
chested, which again Is good, for then
he looks so small and Insignificant
jthat no one will molest hym, thinking
hym too weak to hit. Ye next Item
on ye list was that he Is very weak,
and this, too, counts on ye credit side,
for he Is not expected to do nny hard
.work, leaving all that to hys wife.
! Having big feet ho likewise counts
as good, for with such a hold oh ye
earth he Is not likely to fall off.
It all depends on ye viewpoint, as
some wise guy has remarked. A dol
lar looks a mighty small thing when
you look at It edge on, but it Is very
nice when you turn It round. Just
sit down for five minutes and ask
yourself what ye next man has over
you. If he has plenty of money, then
you hao only a little to' worry with
that is, of course, unless you want
to try and live llko hym and eat all
manner of Indigestible things that ye
stores put Up especially for such peo
ple, charging them twice as much as
you pay for your food. If he has an
automobile and you have none, then
think of all ye danger he Is In while
he drives It. Then, too, once In a
while you can find hym when he has
had a blowout and has not a spare
with hym. Just you sit down and
gloat then, for that Is agony. More
especially Is this so when he has with
hym hys fashionable wife, who wears
corsets' that will not allow her to
walk two yards at one time, nor to
do anything else but alt on an Incline.
You know the iprt of Grecian-bend
goddesses that you see around town
sometimes. This lady will loll back
back on the seat while he covers hym
self with grease and uses nasty swear
words under hys breath (sheo is a
member of ye Prevention of Swearing
Among Men Society), and listens to
ye gentle but biting sarcasm that falls
from her lips all ye while.
Ye scribe could go on' forever, or
pretty near It, anyway, telling of all
ye Eood things In life, for there Is an
Old saying that nothing exists In this"
ttorhl without it trace of alloy, mid It
Is a mlglity big truth.
Oct out and live the nature life
and be simple, and you will see what
a ot of fun there Is In this good old
world, ThnnksgUIng dinners to the
contrary. .
I Scribe's Short Story.
I.
Aiphonse Adolphus Montmorency
stopped suddenly and strained
through the darkness that loomed
ahead of hym like night. From out
e ubysmal silence came n dismal
howl. Ho shivered and wrapped hys
greatcoat around his body, while ye
great oceans of fog rolled by.
Suddenly something sprang through
ye air at hym. He tried to dodge It,
but was too late, and ye next moment
he was lying Insensible on ye ground,
while ye desperado was running away
In ye direction from which he came.
II.
Mrs. Montmorency stood at yo' front
door and waited for ye return of Ai
phonse Adolphus Montmorency, but
he came not. For nn hour she had
been standing there, and at lust she,
went Inside and hid behind yo door,
III.
Two hours later a dismal figure
rolled along yo street in ye direction
of ye Montmorency home. Ye side
walk was too narrow, and ye uncer
tain footsteps of ye wanderer led all
over ye pavement. At last, clinging
to ye railings, it hauled Its way
through towards ye front door und
leant against It In nn affectionate
manner. Suddenly ye door opened
and ye figure felt through.
IV.
Ow 1 Help!
Stop! Y. M. C. A.! Wretch!
Flop! Bang!! Smash!!
Afterword.
Ye first chapter Is what Alphonso
told yo boys at ye office ye next morn
ing. i
An Undecworld Hero.
Just occasionally ye scribe tnkes n
trip Into ye underworld and sees,
something of ye struggles for exist
ence that are fought out where ye
main portion of ye population never
seo them. He recently heard of one
case which he here sets down as ye
good examplo for anyone.
There was a family consisting of
mother, father and seven children.
The father died and left ye others to
look after themsehes, as is ye cus
tom In ye underworld. They had
nothing, and what could ye mother
do with all that family to look after?
The oldest boy was fourteen when ho
shouldered his burden and went out
to earn food for ye family.
Early In e morning, about ye time
when ye sun is Just thinking of get
ting up, he roso and went down to
ye waterfront. Sometimes be landed
ii Job, and again lio illd not. Whui '
ho saw that there was no iluuice of
doing anything In that line, he cntne ,
uptown and bought some newspapers
and went around Belling them. Later
during ye day he shlned ye boolH of
if populuce nt a nickel n time, i:prj
pair that he made reflect ye dolngr
of ye World mennt some food for )t
family, for In ye underworld they bit)
by ye nickel when they have sucL
n thing.
He was a bright boy, this, ami lie
made money; not very uiuih, but suf
ficient, He kept to hymsclf, und as
a consequence he did not let hys
family know all that he earned. Ily
und by ho hnd saved up some money,
and ho entered Punnhou School. He
did not let up on hys work at nil;
In fact, ho got up a little earlier and
worked a little harder.
When he was seventeen he got sick,
and the uwful strain that ho hud been
through for the last few years told
on hym. Hys mother wus in despair
and wanted u doctor, but did not have
yo money for one. Then o boy told
her to look oer ye door and shu
would find some money. There, put
away for a rainy day, she found
twenty-five dollnrB that he hnd saed,
nickel by nickel, during yn years he
had been struggling. She sent for
ye doctor, but It was too late; the
boy's system was too much run down
and he died.
This Is only one of many such sto
ries that might be told of ye under
world, where struggles such as ye
ordinary man has no Idea of go on
as a matter of course, and where It
Is a constant struggle, not to keep
up appearances, but to actually live.
NEW FIRM WILL
OPEN TUESDAY
The Jnmcs Oulld Company It n new
linn that will open Its dwirt on net
Tuesday morning" and niukv n bid for
u fhare of the trade In Its particular
line.
This new firm will deal In hoime
furnlshlng goods runglne from ml
Class to nutmeg graters. Addition it
gooiH will arrive by every steamer.
And ull this nt prices that will nxton
lh the buyers of thu city when ioin
pared with tlio price that they havo
lieen paying for the humid qrade of
goods
A glance nt the advertisement of
this prngrcHsho firm, which appears
In this iKHiie of the Ilulletln. will
convey a lino on the elans of goods It
will carry. Seekers for sultnldn and
appropriate iolday,presents will do
well to ilrqp-ln'and take n look at the
dlxplay onJTuesday, Willie the ntnik Is
full and complete 'with the latert from
the world's marts.
FLAGSHIP WILL
TRYTHEHARBOR
Admiral Thomas Intends to
Take California Through
Channel Thursday.
After working thiough l'eiirl Harbor
channel In the tug NnnJ, p.ilng
particular attention to the riugn
marks ntid the locatlo i of the tem
porary biioj s, und nuk ng constant
comparisons with the chart, Caplaln
Harlow and Nuvlgator McDowell of
the California decided that It wou'd
be safe to take the rUgthlp Inside.
The two officers were accompanied by
Lieutenant (liiyter, civil engineer
corps, and the declilon lenrhcd ua.'
the result of the most careful stud)
of every detail conucctol wild (he
hamiet's navigation.
Doing convinced that his pet pro
ject of having the California thu find
hip of war to ruffle the water of thn
harbor. Admiral Thomas Inlcn Is to
make the trip without tinnecotrnry de
lay. Ho has set Thursday, December
14, the day previous to the Cillfor
nla's departure for llllo, for the I'enrl
I (arbor trip.
Latest soundings In the channel
show that, at no point Is there loss
thnn 31 reel of wnter. The Cjllfoinlt
draws 27, which leaves u margin of 4
feet under her bottom, p milled that.
there nro no humps or projections)
-much nave nceii iiiifsim in ine sweep
ing. Captain Harlow of the Califor
nia Is one of thu most expert han
dlers of big shlpt, nnt Ueutciiitit!
Commander McDowell, Is not mil ex
perlenced but Is uli n millions ua
vlgntor. In surh ha'ids and knowing j
existing conditions, it Is believed that,
no harm can come to tho ship in tn ik
ing the Initial vnyago of entry. I
There are a number of liuojs In ho.
set, however, before a trhl will ho
made. They will bo plnred as soon
as iiosslhle.
An entertainment on shore, to celo-j
brnte.tho arrival of the first ship In
the basin alongside o'f tho do dock Is
being planned. With tho marines of
the fleet under c-Mivas at Cam;i
Cowles, and the California In the has
In, Pearl Harbor will next week take
ou Iho aspect of a real naval station.
FLORAL PARADE FEATURES WILL
BEMOSTPICTURESQUE IN HISTORY
Active preparation have lugun on
.luii8 for I lie big I ".'mm po lantern
paindo that will fenimi tie eienltix
of rior.il Parotic diy even more pic
turesquely than It did last car (Join
cldontly, (oninilltccs ate at work on
this nnd on the great water mruliul
planned for the evening of February
SI In the local harbor
Director A. 1'. Willi was host at nu
Informal dinner In the Commeicliil
Club this week at which were pres
tnt A, K. Oznwn, chnlrtnati of the Ja
panese lantern pirude committee, Y
Soqn, editor of tho Nlppu JIJI, T. Ono
ilern editor of the llawnllan-Japuucc
Dnllj Chronicle, 8. Sheha, editor of
the Hawaii Shliipo, Dr. Tomlzo Kat
utnn, James I) Dougherty nnd Will
Young.
Messrs. Uziwn, Young nnd Dough
erty nro on tho committee pi innln?'
Iho harbor fosmnl, while tho others
nrc tho lanfem parade committee.
linports were received showing that
much progress has already been made
and from ull accounts there will be
many thousind Jnpineto hi line this
)ear. Moreover the Hints nro to be
ninth more elaborate Ihan last year
mil several distinct novelties will bo
featured.
Thn carnival at the lurhir, taken
In conjunction with the performance
of "l'lnafore" that Is to ho given In
Iho naval Klip on (he decks or the
good ship Mohican, Is going to be cer
tainly tho most spectacular thl.ig ever
seen hero Whllo only nn outline h i
Leen made of tho. n'nns. Director Wall
sas that several scoro of sampitis,
Isiwit craft of various kinds, tanaei
and low-boats will be In line, and the
number of Individual boats will pro
bably ho well over a hundred. Dec
orated, festooned with gay lanterns,
hunting' and floral wnaths lit tip by
a perfect rasende of flrjworks, tho
procession of these boats in and out,'
mound the harbor ami encircling Iho
ihlp before the performance of "I'lne
lore" nnd between the nets, will he.
i tunnel or beauty.
Director Vul will join 1m ready to
announce tho cast and chorus for thu
rendition of the K),til.ir (lllhert &
Eulllvnn light niKjfa. The cast will
Include the best talent In Honolulu
and the chorus will be both largo mid
com pel en t.
Pans for the Moral Parade Itself
mouliwhlle are not neg'ected. This
afternoon at 4 30 o'cli ck the decoi
ntcd utilos committee, of which Mr.
James I). Dougherty Is chairman, will
hold a meeting at Promotion Commit
tco hendqii liters and reports will bo
received from the various members on
the cars that are being entered.
Tho Canadian Pacific steamship
Princess llciitrlcc, which went ashore
on Noble Island on October 14, has
bun rclloated Temporary repairs
wero made by the salvors, and the
vessel proi eeded to Ksqiiltii.-itt.-
;
The coward rushes In boldly when
he thinks it's the only way out.
Some persons makeii public note
of their bath nnd kfnpbelrJelephoun
wires private. . .....
Thero will be n grand display mid
sale of dolls at SucIib' commencing
Monday morning. Dolls of ull shapes.
sizes nnd prices, dressed or mi-dresned.-uL.hlg
reductions from orig
inal quoted prices.
When the
ion-Pacific Transfer Co.
handles your baggage it
gets on the right steamer
Offie, King 8t, ntxt Younj Hotsl TcUphonm 1874 and 1878
'.Na, tf
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HOLIDAY GOODS
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The most remarkable assortment of goods suitable for the holidays ever
displayed in this city. - r v
-; COME EARLY AND HAVE THE ADVANTAGE OF A FULL SELECTION'
Toys!
Handsome Dolls from Germany Automobiles from France
Animals from Germany, Toy Soldiers, Marbles, Tree Ornaments
Flying Machines from America, Card Games? Games of every description
Four-Seated Autos Targets andToy Pistols Bicycles
Cut Glass
BERRY DISHES, ICE CREAM PLATTERS, CELERY DISHES,
WATER CARAFFES, BOTTLES IN SILVER HOLDERS, OLIVE
TRAYS, FLOWER VASES, PITCHERS, PUNCH SETS, SUGAR
CONTAINERS.
These are of the finest cuttings of American glass. De
signs are exclusive and elegant.
From the Orient
EMBROIDERED SILK KIMONOS, IVORY, SATSUMA VASES,
QUPS AND 'SAUCERS, LACQUERED BOXES, SCREENS,
FRAMES, DELICATE CHINA.SMOKING JACKETS, BEAUTI
FUL EMBROJDERED FANS, BRASSES, COPPER VASES,
' CLOISSONNE SETS.
Moon Desks
In standard and sanitary designs. Roll top,. Flat top, Type
writer, Bookkeeper Desks. Directors' Table's. '
LEONARD, CLEANABLE ONE-PIECE
PORCELAIN LINED REFRIGERATOR
TAKE ELEVATOR
E HACKFELD & CO., LTD.,
Fort and Queen Street
JllUtl A
Cigars
Caswell Club
Imported Havana
Imported German
Cremo
Manila "La Insular"
Presidentes
Perfectos
High Life
Keina Victorias
Favoritos
Imperiales Londres
Cigarettes
Kgyptienne Straights
Turkish Trophies
Imperiales
Pall Mall Le Marquis
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